Subject: [FFML] [REFUGE][Spamfic][R1/2] Typical Days by DB Sommer
From: "David A. Tatum" <desaix@sysnet.net>
Date: 7/3/2001, 12:16 PM
To:

To reply, post publically or e-mail the author at sommer@3rdm.net
Enjoy!

The FFML Refugee List

Frankly, I'm surprise at any kind of protestation over this little spamfic.
I guessed the the nature of it from the title (and because it was a
spamfic). Likewise, I'll agree with Allyn in that it's really too off-beat
and short to be termed 'Dark', at least in the classic sense. I would
disagree with Allyn in that personally I didn't find it humorous at all.
Part of it might have been because I guessed the punchline before I
actually
heard the joke, or it could be that the delivery was just plain flat. It
didn't seem to work as a humourous piece, and not because of the subject
matter. As to the 'script vs. prose,' it could go either way for me, but
you're probably better off doing as Gary suggested and going with all
dialogue prose. It would work just as well, and wouldn't turn people off,
as
Script format tends to do with most works. Sorry I can't be more helpful in
telling you how you might sharpen the writing for the joke, but nothing is
coming to me at the moment.


And, of course, in reference to Gary's comment about 'Typical Neriman
Days...'

-----------------

It was a typical day in Nerima. Konatsu swept the sidewalk in front of the
restaurant, enjoying the way the sun shone down and glistened off his
flaxen
hair. He wondered if he dare approach Ukyou for a raise. He supposed it
would be a bit forward of him, but make-up was so expensive nowadays, and
his kimonos were looking rather worn. And he didn't even want to think
about
his lingerie. He would need to update his wardrobe soon, and there was
simply no way he could afford it with what he made now.

Konatsu was still pondering his dilemma when Ranma ran past, as though the
demons of hell were hot on his tail. There was a chain wrapped around his
waist, one with a nearly blind martial artist, whose robes had been ripped
to shreds, dangling at the other end.

"Get off of me, you idiot! You're slowing me down!"

"You have to save me!" Mousse wailed as he held on for dear life. "She's
going to kill me this time for sure!"

"Serves you right for trying to cure her with a magic object bought from
that dumb cursed antiques store! Now she can't change back!"

Konatsu paused in his sweeping. He waved cheerfully as the duo sped past.
"Good day to you, Mr. Saotome. Mr. Mousse."

A moment later, a hiss split the air as a humanoid feline, obviously
female,
bounded lightning quick past Konatsu. Purple fur lined all of the body that
was visible beyond its ragged Chinese outfit. A head that bore pointed
ears,
a whiskered snout, and a mouth filled with needle sharp teeth poked above
the collar. A look of bloody murder shone in its eyes as it pursued the two
youths that somehow managed to double their speed the instant the felinoid
came into view.

"Good day, Miss Shampoo," Konatsu called out. "I love what you've done with
your hair,"  he mentioned before she was out of earshot.

As Konatsu went back to sweeping, he realized he was envious of his friends
having so much energy. Working has hard as he did, he was always exhausted
by the end of the day. Still, there was something satisfying about doing
something as normal as working in a resteraunt with a fellow crossdresser
instead of a bathhouse with his evil stepmother and stepsisters.

Konatsu's thoughts ended abruptly as a bouquet of red roses was thrust at
him. Reflexively, he grabbed the bouquet before realizing who they were
from. Politely, he said, "Mr. Kunou, I've told you before I have no
interest
in receiving flowers from you."

Posing dramatically, Kunou proudly stated, "So, I see the foul sorcerer
still has you under his evil influences. Again, I shall endeavor to free
you
from his sinister clutches."

"Ukyou-sama's clutches aren't really sinister--" Konatsu found he was
taking
to air as Kunou had already forced his way into the restaurant.

Within moments, the kunoichi heard the sounds of a battle going on inside,
and Ukyou shouting out, "How many time do I have to tell you I'm a girl,
Konatsu is a guy, and I do not have any 'sorcerous influences' over him,
you
stupid jackass?!"

"Truly you are deluded to believe that you can deceive me with what is
evident before my eyes. Have at you!"

A moment later there was the sound of a spatula connecting to a head, which
was followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor. Konatsu sighed to
himself. What he needed was something interesting to happen to really cheer
him up. Sometimes the days were so typical, they were actually quite
boring.


----------------

Now all that's left is to be rewarded with the sounds of retching. ^_^

----------------------------

"There's nothing quite as boring as being in a place where nothing boring
ever happens."
--The Devil, from 'The Young Ones'

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