---- "Tangent" <tangent@zbzoom.net> wrote:
----- Original Message -----
From: "James Barnhill" <mecvolve@zdnetonebox.com>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 9:40 AM
Subject: [FFML] (Spamfic/Humor)(R1/2)The Non Sense
The Non Sense
By James Barnhill
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, which is why Im dirt
poor
and forced to use the museums Difference Engine to hook up to the
web.
And if you think your computers noisy try using something totally
made
out of gears. Great now its jammed!
--------------------------------------------------
In the kitchen Kasumi hummed happily as she set about making lunch
for
everyone in the house. Outside the weather was gorgeous, not a cloud
in the sky and every plant was in bloom.
It was unusually peaceful though. Though not the sort of peace where
one person says to the next: "Its quiet....too quiet." Just an
unusual
quiet that was rarely experienced by those living In Nerima, especially
those that had moved to the area after Ranma had come to town. Some
people dealt with this peace by getting done with whatever they had
planed
for the day/week as fast as possible, others chose to take vacations
out of Nerima without having to worry about getting caught in a massive
fight between battling martial artists, still others of the more
paranoid
variety ran for the nearest bomb shelter to wait it out.
Unfortunately those paranoid types later found out that NONE of the
old
bomb shelters had survived any of the fights. Instead they opted
to
move to a different country, when they left there was much rejoicing.
"Yay."
Hmmm... with the more paranoid residents of Nerima gone, the weirdness
factor of the area might become destabalized and collapse, failing
to
attract new weirdness to bother everyone with. Theyed have to make
due
with the old, local weirdness that they had gotten used to before there
were all those paranoids in the area...
^_^
I think most of the residents who lived in Nerims before Ranma came were
the paranoid type, always wondering who or what was gong to destroy their
house next:P
But despite Kasumi's usual good attitude and her aura of calm/peace
one
could tell if they looked closely at her face that she was troubled
somewhat
by the events that had been happening of late. Pausing her current
task
of chopping the celery she listened closely for any sign of trouble.
She wasnt so much concerned as confused by what was happening, or
from
a different point of view what was NOT happening.
Genma and Soun were playing Go which was usual for them. What was
unusual
was for them not to be plotting how to put Ranma and Akane together.
In fact, they acted like they were playing an honest game instead
of
trying to distract one another and switch each others game pieces
to
gave them the advantage until the next lie was told.
OH NO! O.O
A sign of the Appocalypse!
^_^
Nabiki was in her room getting her materials organized, and most
likely
using the microphone pickups planted throughout the house to eavesdrop
on the conversation between Ranma's mother and the fiance's while
they
waited outside of Ranma's room.
*whew*, maybe the world isn't ending after all...
hehe... ^_^;;
Then why is it raining tadpoles?
Not that bad though, I mean atleast its not raining cats and dogs, hehe.
*A black cat with yellow eyes falls on the authors head*
"Meow."
Me and my big mouth....
That was another unusual point. For once the fiance's werent actually
fighting or getting into arguments over who said what or who did
what
to which person, instead they were acting like angels, or atleast
what
they thought angles acted like, and being deferential to Nodoka.
Kasumi resumed cutting the celery, knowing that sooner or later she
would
know what was happening. Hopefully it wouldnt inturrupt her date
with
Tofu-sensie tonight she thought with a wider smile.
----------------------------------------------
Nabiki lay back in her chair, idly twirling the cord for her headphones
around her fingers as she messed with the cotrol knobs built into
the
desk drawer. For once in several months she had managed to get all
of
her homework and finance material done for the week along with several
other small things she had been planning to do later in the week.
For
now she had freetime to do what she wanted and she planned to spend
it
performing her most intriguing hobby, snooping on people. Currently
she was using the microphone planted outside of Ranma's room to listen
in as Nodoka quietly spoke to the fiance's.
That was a puzzle she couldnt quite figure out yet. Ever since Nodoka
had found out about Ranma's curse she had readily accepted him as
her
son...after giving Genma the beating of his life. For the past several
weeks they, mother and son, had been going out to different places
where
they could walk and talk. Ranma eagerly looked forward to it each
weekend
as he went through the homework from school and meticulously read
everything
from his class's until he had it all memorized, that was his mothers
doing. Like Kasumi she could be gentle and yet very forceful when
it
came to something that she believed. But it was helping both f them
immensely to make up for those ten years lost during the training
trip.
This actually sounds like a good premice, or even backdrop, of a fic...
No....must..resist...idea....must.....resist......idea....
But last week they had gone to see an american movie to help Ranma
get
better at his english, both of them had enjoyed the experience but
then
Ranma began to act a bit unusual. Nothing obvious in the physical
sense.
It was all in the way he had been acting lately until yesterday
when
he had stayed home, claiming to be sick. Nabiki knew that something
was up and she was determined to find out what it was. Her ears
perked
up as she heard Nodoka leading them into Ranma's room.
---------------------------------------------------
The girls sat by the edge of the futon, nervously watching Ranma
wake
up and look all arond at them. His skin had taken on a paler cast
then
was usual. His eyes, normally a greyish-blue, were now solid blue
and
dark. Despite the open windows letting sunshine the room felt colder
then it should have been. Ukyou, Akane, Shampoo and Kodachi leaned
a
bit forward, while being careful not to jostle one another and get
onto
Nodoka's bad side, to hear Ranma as he spoke to Nodoka.
Sounds like Ranma's control over his own aura is working splendidly!
Did I forget to mention the air conditioner? :P
^_^
"Mom, can I tell you a secret?" His voice was low and his breath
came
out in a small cloud as he spoke, he looked to them but this time
with
a bit of worry evident in his eyes. Before the fiance's could say
anything
Nodoka answered.
"Of course you can dear." She didnt seem to feel the way the room
got
colder all of a sudden as Ranma glanced at them again for a few long
seconds and finally answered in a stuttering voice.
"I see Tomboys." He said while looking fearfuly at the fiance's.
*snicker*
The fiance's facefaulted as Nodoka, Ranma and Nabiki in the next
room
cracked up laughing.
...
...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
^_^
That *was* funny!
Please get help before its too late! Ill call the CDC ;)
---------------------------------------------------
Authors Notes: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! I wrote something even remotely
funny,
that cant happen!
Happens to the best of us...
What dark evil forces are responsible for this!?!?
Robin Williams, Gallager, and George Carlin...
NOT GEORGE CARLIN!
^_^
*Somewhere at Microsoft a man sneezes*
Hehehehehe, couldnt help that one. Though Im still wondering where
in
the hell this story came from! Usually comedy to me involves either
lots of violence and or a chainsaw and hockey mask (those were the
days,
camp counselers, stupid college kids going to the woods for a bit
of
privacy, nobody ever suspecting that I......uhoh......you didnt see
this
part! I never wore a hockey mask, or used a chainsaw, it was the
tea
talking!).
Right! And I never saw all of the job postings for camp councilers
that
you posted either! Certainly not the ones that said clueless, good
looking,
airheaded couples preferred...
^_^;;
Anyone with the same name could have posted those! You have no proof!
(note to self: Hide evidence)
Could this mean that my sense of humor is....returning? Just to
make
sure it doesnt I better watch some more Monty Python:)
If you want to kill your sense of humor, watch 'Barney' or one of the
other
edutainment children's shows that sprang from the diseased minds of
the cencors during the late eighties and early nineties. You know -
the ones
written under the apparent assumption that all children are mindless
idiots
that are far more easily ammused than they are in real life...
^_^
Ive seen the horrors of the purple one, oh how I have seen the infinite
abyss of stupidity which gushes forth with that sickening voice EVERY
SINGLE MORNING! With that sort of stuff on TV children will become mindless
idiots, id try getting them away from it but their mother would spray
me with mace (just dont ask). Oh the trails a fanfic writer must strive
against...
Well, unless some of you found this funny and before you ask yes
it is
supposed to be a parady of the Sixth Sense movie. Just no dead people,
besides the ones at the camp.....err, NOWHERE!
I did guess that yes...
Your tag for this being a spamfic was a big clue.
Amazingly enough some people had to be told, even then they didnt get
it, and some people say I have no sense of humor....hmmm....Im still
waiting for the test results on that ne...
So what did ya think? Nearly all comments welcome, except for those
pertaining to either the Rocky Horror Picture Show and or the chainsaw.
Oh damn...
^_^;;
Too late for that, I guess.
As a spamfic, I liked this story. It even showed some areas where it
could
be
expanded into a full fledged fic...
Oh no! Now Im starting to think of a sequal! Quick! Someone hit me
with a shovel before were all doomed!
Its too late....Im starting to hear a Saline Dion song...NNNNOOOO!!!!
Oh yeah, remember this is only a spamfic so no spell checkers were
harmed
in its one hour production.
I'll just have to harm one myself then...
^_^
In that case Ill have to call the committee against the unethical treatment
of software:P
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