I think you're missing the point.  You can take that entire fiction, change the names, and in some ways, it would be MORE effective.  Almost like some of the more fantastic (less horrific) Lovecraft stuff.

We're not picking on the writing here.  As both of us said, it's a VERY well crafted tale.  We're pointing out that this tale is not very good fanfiction, which is a verry important difference.
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