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The FFML Refugee List
He's Got a Job
Starless, overcast night covered Nerima like
shroud, unleashing a torrent of rain down on the city
below. Few were those who dared to travel on such a
night. Yet one young man tramped through the wet and
churning streets of Nerima with little concern for
either monsters or weather. Holding his umbrella
above his head, which somehow deflected all the
ambient rain and water, Ryouga strode resolutely
through the city where his quarry had chosen to dwell.
"This must be the Tendo monastary," Ryouga said
as he stopped in front of a sign that read just that.
~Today Ranma,~ he thought, ignoring the present
condition of nighttime. ~You meet your end!~
********
Ranma lay sprawled across his sleeping mat, he
slept on, ignorant of the sound of rain that suddenly
became more distinct. Or the sound of creeking wood
as a pair of feet appeared at his head.
"Wake up, Ranma," Ryouga said quietly. "It's
me--Ryouga." The sleeping half-fiend didn't respond.
"Fight me!" Ryouga said louder. "Hey! Ranma!" Ranma
slept on. "Would you WAKE UP!?"
Ryouga punched downward towards Ranma's head,
and growled as Ranma rolled over allowing the
celestial's hand to go into the pillow and through the
sleeping mat. The pillow came up stuck around his
hand. Ryouga glared at it before punching down with
his other hand and putting a new hole in the sleeping
mat as Ranma rolled over again.
Ryouga glared balefully at Ranma as he
scratched his head, still asleep. Then the celestial
pulled in a huge breath. He held it until it felt
like he'd burst, and then released it all in a loud
roar.
"WAKE UP, DAMMIT!!!" Ryouga shouted. Ranma's
eyes flashed open wide as the panda that was his
father sat bolt up right next to him. Next thing
Ryouga knew he was being tossed outside by a panda
waving a sign that read "QUIET!" Ryouga easily
flipped upright in his flight and produced that
umbrella that when raised above his head somehow
miraculously kept him dry. Ranma, on the other hand,
wasn't truly aware of anything until a second or two
after she landed in the pond.
"Wha-?" Ranma sputtered. "Wha-? Wha-?" She
splashed about the pool for a couple more seconds
before Ryouga landed and she found her footing again.
She found herself facing Ryouga and narrowed her eyes.
"Ryouga."
"That's right Ranma now its time for you to
pray to whatever da..." Ryouga didn't get any further
on his carefully rehearsed speech as there was
suddenly the matter of a furious red-head charging at
him.
"JERK!!!" Ranma shouted. "BASTARD!! IDIOT!!
ASSHOLE!!" Ryouga nearly choked as he proceeded to
attempt a defense against the furious pace of attack
Ranma was setting. He'd never really had to defend
against someone before, and he couldn't take his
natural form at the moment or he'd get wet.
"You call this an attack, Ranma?" Ryouga
snapped, proving that bravado was still in full
effect. As he shouted he barely dodged a fast kick at
his head. It was followed by half a dozen punches
that he managed to mostly avoid. About the only
thing, he realized, keeping him both dry and uninjured
was the fact that Ranma was enraged and not paying
much attention to what she was doing.
Ranma paused in her onslaught giving Ryouga
time to recover some initiative. He didn't notice her
glaring at the umbrella in his hand. Ryouga smirked
as he was prepared to launch a flurry of his own.
"QUIT PLAYING GAMES!!!" As Ranma shouted the
demon shifted forms and genders into his male demon
form. He stayed male for all of about the two seconds
that it took to get her mind off shapeshifting and the
trigger spell responded to the rain again. Ryouga
had time to blink before the half-demon launched
herself forward. "Put up a fight, damn it!"
~Well, I would if it weren't raining,~ Ryouga
grumbled to himself, then jumped back. Of course all
he had to do was wait for Ranma to get tired, and if
the half-demon stayed this enraged that would be easy.
********
"What by Ryoko's Gems is that noise?" Akane
grumbled as she woke up, slowly. The door to her room
opened softly to admit her eldest sister.
"Akane?" Kasumi asked. "Are you awake?"
"Kasumi, you hear it too?" Akane asked. She
absent-mindedly picked up a practice sword, not her
favored weapon personally, but Ryoko's priestesses
were expected to know how to use it, and then joined
her sister out in the hall.
"Do you think its a thief?" Kasumi asked.
"It had better not be," Akane growled, gripping
her sword's hilt. A flash of lightning highlighted a
figure with an umbrella jumping backwards. Akane
thought she saw something else enter the view just
after the lightning vanished, but her eyes were still
adjusting to the flash so she couldn't tell for
certain.
"It is a thief," Kasumi said a little panicky.
Akane merely growled already starting out for the
yard.
"I'm going to beat his brains out!" Akane said.
She stopped as a firm hand on her shoulder pulled her
back.
"NO!! It's too dangerous," Kasumi shouted.
"But.." Akane started, not understanding why
Kasumi would stop her. This is what battle
priestesses did after all. Suddenly her sister was
holding a heavy stone statue of a bear towards her.
"Here."
"Huh?"
********
Ryouga smirked as he finally discovered a safe
opening to exploit in Ranma's almost unending stream
of kicks, punches and wing swipes. He bounced off the
ground and launched forward in a kick. Then something
hard and stone smacked into the back of his head, and
knocking him slightly off balance. It was enough for
Ranma's kick to reach his gut. Then came several
follow-up strikes that dazed him enough for the
umbrella to fall out of his hand.
"Are making fun of me with that umbrella,
Ryouga!?" Ranma demanded, before noting that her
target wasn't answering. "Hey, you...okay?" Ranma
glanced at the suddenly empty clothes in her hands,
before the statue caught in the clothes and carried
the surprised half-demon down to the ground.
"Oh it's only Ranma's old...friend," Kasumi
said as the shouting came clear.
"In the middle of the night?" Akane rolled her
eyes and walked back into the house part of the
complex to return to her bed.
Ranma took a moment to "drop her wings" as she
returned to human form and looked at the mass of
clothes in her hands. She glanced around cautiously
for the Celestial but couldn't see him anywhere.
"Weird," Ranma muttered. "I didn't think that
little bit would send him back to the planes." She
swallowed nervously and started collecting his stuff.
A flutter of movement out of the corner of her eye
attracted her attention, and she turned to catch
whatever was heading her direction.
Ranma was surprised at what she found in her
hand.
"A pigeon?" she said, confused. The bird
started pecking at her hand, but it only barely hurt.
"Hey, stop that. That's quiet a bump you got there
birdy." Ranma looked up and then finished collecting
Ryouga's stuff while still holding the bird. The bird
continued to peck at her. "Let's get out of this rain
and get you fixed up."
********
Akane shut her door forcefully behind her as
she entered her room and stretched out.
"All that racket in the middle of the night,"
she grumbled. She flopped down on her bed and pulled
the sleeping furs over herself. A second or two later
she was up again. "Argg, I can't sleep now." she
walked irritably out into the hallway again.
********
"Hey, stop that," Ranma growled as the bird
continued to peck at her. "I ain't gonna hurt ya, you
stupid birdbrain. I just gonna take some of this
healing salve her and fix that bump on your head."
Ranma took the salve from the Tendo's stores and
carefully applied a little of it to the head of the
bird that was still attacking him.
"What happened to Ryouga," Ranma muttered as he
worked on the bird. "I know damn well that wasn't
enough to send him back home. Though the jerk
deserves to be stuck home for a hundred years or so."
The pigeon let out an angry coo and continued
attacking Ranma. "Would you stop that? Ain't no way
Ryouga ain't fine. He'll be back to torment me
later." She held the pigeon a little tighter, both to
keep it from pecking her and just because. There was
a flare of embarrasment from, surprisingly enough, the
pigeon. Ranma looked down and blinked at it. "Dirty
minded little thing, aintcha?" The pigeon visibly
huffed up and did what it could to peck at Ranma
again.
"Hey, Ranma," Akane said as she entered into
the room. "Isn't that Ryouga's stuff?"
"Yeah," Ranma said irritably.
"Where's Ryouga," Akane asked narrowly.
"He just sort of vanished in front of me,"
Ranma shrugged. Then he turned around irritably.
"Aww...he's probably just back at his home having an
ale and laughing at me."
"Why are you worried about the 'monster' that
'ruined' your face?" Akane asked sarcastically.
"I never said he was a monster!" Ranma snapped,
getting to her feet. "He's a jerk, but don't call him
a monster!" Akane blinked, then Ranma sat back down.
"And I ain't worried about him." She stroked the
pigeon's head gently as she spoke.
"Sure you're not," Akane muttered darkly. She
briskly told herself that she was not jealous. Surely
she couldn't be jealous over Ranma. Jealous of a man
no less. "Whatever, I need to relax after you two
making such a racket."
"You're going to take a bath aren't you?" Ranma
asked.
"Yeah, so?" Akane asked. Ranma grumbled and
handed the bird out to her.
"Could ya take the bird too?" Ranma asked. "He
was out in the rain too, I can wait but not sure about
this little guy. Besides, he doesn't seem to like
me."
"Yeah, I guess," Akane wondered briefly why the
pigeon was shaking its head at the suggestion. "How
do you know its male?"
"Trust me on this one," Ranma said. "I know
these things."
********
"A week ago he's so upset that Nabiki mentioned
it," Akane growled. "Now he talks like Ryouga's gone
for good and that's a bad thing. I'm never going to
understand him." Akane looked at the pigeon and
considered it. "
Well, are you ready for a bath?"
The pigeon again frantically shook its head.
The action served to spray Akane with a few drops of
cold water, then the bird gave what Akane took to be
the pigeon equivilent of a sneeze.
"I'm not trying to cook you or anything," Akane
said. "Look the water isn't even very hot." Akane
set the pigeon in the water and was surprised as a
familiar young man suddenly seemed to appear out of
nowhere. A very embarrassed look on his face. Akane
noticed quickly that he seemed to be naked, and her
face darkened quickly.
"PERVERT!!" she stood up quickly raising her
hands back Ryouga saw a flash of red power form into a
hammer.
"Wait, wait!!" Ryouga waved his hands
furiously. "I'm here to pr.." whatever he had been
going to say was lost as Akane swung downward. Akane
stood over the unconscious Ryouga and huffed angrily.
Truly, Akane's ability to almost unfailing knock
Outsiders unconscious was an impressive thing. If
only she was aware that she was doing it.
"Hey Akane are you alright in there?" Ranma
called out. Akane glanced at the unconscious Ryouga
and considered Ranma's earlier behavior.
********
"Oh, Ryouga!" Ranma-chan gasped in an overly
feminine manner. "You're alive! I thought I'd killed
you!" Then the red-head brushed past Akane, knocking
her into a wall and cradling the unconscious Ryouga.
********
~Right,~ Akane said. ~Again, why am I worried
about that. What does matter to me if Ranma wants to
try out his girl side. The pervert can do whatever he
wants, not like I...."
"Akane?" Ranma called out, the door to the
springs antechamber opened cautiously.
"I'm fine! What are you doing trying to sneak
in here while I'm bathing!?" Akane shouted angrily.
The door closed quickly and she thought she heard
Ranma beating a retreat back to the living quarters.
"Owww..." Ryouga groaned reaching up to grab
his head. Akane retreated into the changing room as
she noted him waking up. "How'd she do that?"
"Okay, pervert," Akane snapped from the other
side of the door. "What are you doing going around
disguised as a pigeon."
"I wasn't disguised as a pigeon!" Ryouga
snapped. "It's a curse!"
"You've been to Jusenkyo?" Akane asked after a
moment.
"It was soon after I learned from an oracle
that Ranma had a bearing on my mission," Ryouga
explained as he summoned his items to him.
********
"Curse you, Ranma!" Ryouga growled as he walked
along a cliff, he wanted to be flying, but last time
he'd tried it had taken him a month to get back to the
right continent. "What are you hiding from me you
fiend?!"
********
~Why is it every crazy seems to decide to call
Ranma a fiend?~ Akane asked herself irritably. ~It's
not like he's THAT bad.~
"I had been wandering for days," Ryouga
continued. "Until that last fateful afternoon..."
********
The sound of running footsteps reverberated
through the landscape and Ryouga turned toward the
sounds, curious.
"Eh?" Ryouga blinked in confusion as the noise
got louder. Suddenly the wall of trees burst apart to
reveal a hurriedly running red-headed girl. The girl
looked familiar somehow, but Ryouga didn't have time
to figure out from where as the girl ran straight past
him, almost through him. He stumbled out of the way,
closer to the edge of the cliff overlooking a number
of bamboo poles stuck in ponds.
"Run for the hills!" the girl shouted in
passing. Following quickly behind her was a large
panda also looking to be panic-stricken. "What the
hell were you thinking pop?!" Ryouga heard the
red-head yell as the panda nearly tossed him off the
edge of the cliff.
Ryouga desperately fought to recover his
balance, finally giving up and dropping his human
disguise. He certainly had enough time to transform
before he lost his grip. At least that's what he was
thinking when a black and purple blur rushed by while
swinging a large sword.
"You I KILL!!!" the new individual shouted.
Ryouga dodged a careless back swing, taking him out
into the air, and already descending.
Ryouga glanced down and noticed, with dismay,
the massive weaves of magic threading through the
cursed place. He made a final attempt to pull away
from the pools with his great wings, but his downward
velocity was already too high. Had he been as light
and maneuverable as Ranma, he would have made it
easily.
********
"A bunch of freaks had tossed me into the
pools," Ryouga growled angrily as he finished
dressing. "That's when I'd realized I'd been cast
into hell." As Ryouga went on to talk about being
hunted by hawks, almost eaten by a beardless dwarf,
and other similar perils, Akane considered something
else.
********
"Oh Ryouga," Ranma-chan, again overly feminine.
Disgustingly feminine as far as Akane was concerned.
"I'm so sorry I knocked you into a Jusenkyo spring.
I'll do anything to make it up to you?"
"Anything?" Ryouga leered.
"Hey," Akane shouted. "HE's my fiancee!"
"Well seems like SHE's mine now," Ryouga
smirked.
********
~Great, I'm turning into a pervert too,~ Akane
grumbled to herself, not really listening to what
Ryouga was saying. ~WHY am I even thinking of this
stuff?!~
"...you from that fiend," Ryouga finished off
as he opened the door. Akane blinked and turned
toward him, trying to figure out where the clothes had
come from.
"I'm sorry. What?" Akane asked.
"I said, I think I'm here to protect you from
Ranma," Ryouga said.
~Just in case...~ Akane thought, not focusing
on why she should care. "Really? Good, of course
we'll have to keep Ranma from learning about this
problem of yours. Imagine what would happen if he
knew about it." Ryouga had a sudden flash of Ranma
easily tearing apart a little pigeon and swallowed.
"Hey, Akane!" Ranma shouted down the hall
towards the spring cavern. Ryouga growled and moved
to stand between Akane and the oncoming half-demon.
He was surprised at the shower of cold water that
suddenly washed over him. He turned to see Akane
hiding his equipment and then turning toward him.
Akane scooped the pigeon up, wrapping it up in a fur,
and walking out to meet Ranma.
"What is it Ranma?" Akane asked irritably.
Ranma stopped and stared at Akane for a moment.
"I thought you were taking a bath," Ranma said.
"I was going to, but got busy with your little
friend here," Akane said. "Now what are you yelling
about?"
"Ryouga's stuff is gone," Ranma snapped
angrily. "I knew it! I knew he was playing games
with me! When I find that jerk I'm going to tear him
to pieces." The pigeon in Akane's hands bridled
angrily while Akane smiled in a satisfied manner.
"Are you sure you can do that, Ranma?" Akane
asked. The red-head looked at her curiously.
"Wow, you're chipper all of a sudden," Ranma
said. "Are you going to use the bath?"
"No," Akane said. "You're free to it." She
walked down the hallway and moved up out of the hot
spring cavern into the above ground portions of the
Tendo estate. She turned to look down at Ryouga. "I
go in with a pigeon and you come out, think he's not
going to notice that?" She entered her room, opened
the door to the small storage closet and set Ryouga
inside. "Have a good night." She yawned and strolled
to her bed, finally flopping down for some sleep.
~I can't believe I'm getting jealous over
Ryouga,~ Akane said irritably. ~What is there even
there to get jealous over. Nothing. So I can't be
jealous. Right!~
********
Akane turned over an indeterminate amount of
time later and noticed her closet door was open. She
growled irritably and walked over to find the closet,
predictably, empty. There was only one place the
pigeon would conceivably head for. Grumbling
irritably she walked out into the hallway and headed
for Ranma's room.
Akane snuck quietly into the room and cast her
glance about looking for oddball pigeons. She
scratched her head, beginning to get more than a
little angry at Ryouga. She looked at Ranma and
stared hard to find any sort of small struggling form
under his sleeping furs. She couldn't see anything
for sure, but she could only guess at this point.
After several seconds of self-debate she edged
closer to Ranma and cautiously pulled up his sheet.
She found nothing underneath the blankets aside from
Ranma himself. Akane blushed as she realized that she
was staring at Ranma in a mostly unclothed state.
Then the pig-tailed martial artist rolled about and a
flailing arm pulled her down.
"Mmf...kane..." Ranma muttered. Akane went
from enraged to embarrassed in a flash.
~He's DREAMING about ME!!~ Akane growled in
disbelief and turning beet red.
The hand that had pulled her down suddenly
grabbed her head, and seemed to follow the contours of
her body. Akane noted the confused, and growingly
fearful, look on Ranma's face only periphally.
"Oh!" She gasped as Ranma reached an esecially
sensitive area. Ranma's eyes flashed open and found
himself facing Akane.
"AAHHH!!!" Ranma screamed. Akane responded by
returning to her previous enraged state.
"If I'm so repulsive," Akane shouted. "Why did
you grab me pervert!?!" She rose up and summoned her
hammer again. Behind her, Genma took the recommended
procedure of vacating the room.
********
"I heard you battle priestess had some
interesting habits," Nabiki said as she ate. "But
don't you think you should ask Ranma before you sneak
into his room to beat him up?"
"She shouldn't be sneaking into his room at
all," Kasumi said severely. "They should wait until
their married." Nabiki laughed at the apparent joke
of Ranma waiting until he was married. It was even
funnier since she knew it might be true.
"Ranma should take lessons from her in
initiative," Soun noted. Next to him Genma in panda
form held up a sign asking for more food.
"It wasn't like that!" Akane demanded.
"My life sucks," Ranma muttered.
********
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere a humanoid
being that looked as if it had an octopus for a head
was running madly away from a viciously cooing and
pecking pigeon. The pigeon, on the other hand, was
learning that even being a homing pigeon didn't get
him where he wanted to go.
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my
father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to
be psuedo-evil." - my brother
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