Welcome back, FFML!  Here is my first fanfic contribution
to the resurrected list. ^_^

As always, feedback, public or private, is both desperately 
craved and greatly appreciated.

Notes: This fic is told from Zack's point of view.  If you haven't
played FFVII all the way through, and don't know who Zack is
(sometimes romanized as "Zacks" or "Zax"), you might want to
bypass this spoiler-filled fic.

The previous chapters of this fic can be found on my site at: 
http://www.akane.org/fanfiction

Warning: This fic contains less-than-pristine language, violence,
and non-explicit adult themes.


All But Blood
Chapter 4
A Final Fantasy VII Fanfic
by Krista Perry


~*~


     Aeris's house was tucked into a small corner of the Sector 5
slums that almost qualified as being cozy.  She lived right near
the reservoir that served as the water supply for lower Midgar,
and so, amidst the rusted pipes and the constant, distant rumble
of pumping machinery, an almost natural-looking waterfall tumbled
from a nearby spillway to a man-made lake behind her house.  The
house itself was right at the edge of the shadow of the upper
city plate, so it would occasionally catch a rare beam of real
sunshine amidst the smog.  And of course, there were flowers. 
Inexplicable, bright yellow flowers that somehow flourished near
her home, just like they did in the church.  As if her presence
alone was enough to make them grow.  

     The area surrounding Aeris's house was easily the most
beautiful place in Midgar.  And in spite of the amazement I
always felt as I noted the marked contrast between this place,
and the grimy, claustrophobic Sector 5 market that I had just
left behind... I couldn't stifle a twinge of trepidation as I
knocked on Aeris's front door.  

     I came bearing bad news, for both of us.

     Aeris's mother answered, looking the very picture of
domestic bliss.  A cooking apron was draped over her worn dress,
and in one hand, she held a long wooden spoon that was on the
verge of dripping batter.  The smell of sizzling pancakes and hot
maple syrup wafted from the open doorway.

     "Zack," she said, a pleased expression lighting her face. 
"You're here early."

     I smiled, hoping that it might somehow cover my inner
turmoil.  "Good morning, Mrs. Gainsborough.  I hope you don't
mind."

     "Of course I don't mind.  I don't think Aeris is ready yet,
but you're welcome to come in and wait for her.  Would you like
some breakfast?  I'm making pancakes and sausage."

     It smelled delicious, and I could feel my mouth water
involuntarily, but I didn't have time.  "Thank you, ma'am, but
actually..."

     "Actually, I'm ready now," said Aeris, as she came down the
stairs behind her mother.  She was wearing her favorite pink
dress, and her long golden-brown hair was tied up into a pony
tail with the pink ribbon that I had given to her a few weeks
before.

     She looked at me and smiled... and her sad eyes told me
that, somehow, she already knew what I wanted to tell her.

     There were times when it seemed that Aeris knew what I was
going to say before the words even had a chance to leave my
mouth.  Maybe it was because she could so easily read my
expression.  Or maybe all she had to do was look at me with those
beautiful green eyes of hers to see into the deepest parts of my
soul with a mere glance.  Maybe -- and I was beginning to suspect
this more and more -- maybe she didn't even have to look at me at
all to just... know. 

     Usually, this uncanny ability of hers didn't bother me.  It
was a part of her; a part I loved, along with everything else
about her.  But at the moment it made me feel worse than ever.  I
could see the disappointment behind her smile, and it mingled
with my own, leaving a sharp, bitter taste in my mouth.

     As the swift non-verbal understanding passed between us, I
still felt it wasn't enough.  I wanted to say something out loud,
apologize to her.  But she must have understood that intent as
well, because before I could even say anything, she swept past
her mother and snagged my arm with hers.  "Mom, Zack and I are
going for a little walk, okay?"

     I cast Aeris a grateful look.  Her mother liked me well
enough now, but she probably wouldn't approve of this.  It was
Shinra business, after all.

     "But what about breakfast?" her mother protested, as Aeris
and I walked arm in arm down the dirt path that led to a small
rise where the yellow flowers grew in abundance.

     "Don't worry," Aeris called back.  "I'll be back for
breakfast."

     I glanced back in time to see her mother shake her head as
she gave us a fond look.  "Don't be too long, you two, or the
food will get cold," she said, before going back into the house.

     A moment after the door closed and I felt assured of our
privacy, I met Aeris's gaze.  "So I guess you know," I said
apologetically.  I didn't ask how she knew.  She could never
really explain it anyway.

     She nodded.  "You have to cancel our picnic outing," she
said.  There was no accusation in her voice; only a sad
resignation.  

     I sighed.  We had both been looking forward to getting out
of Midgar for a whole day together.  The outing had been planned
for weeks, and now...   "Not cancel," I said.  "Just... postpone
for a bit."

     "For how long?"

     I shrugged, feeling a sudden wave of despondency wash over
me.  I hated doing this to her.  She deserved so much more than
to be left hanging like this.  "Three weeks," I said.  "Maybe
three and a half.  A month at the most."  But I knew my time
estimate was extremely optimistic.

     "A whole month," she said, startled.  "Where are you going?"

     "To the East Continent."  I ran my free hand through my hair
and sighed again.  "There's a reactor in the mountains near
Nibelheim that's malfunctioning.  The raw Mako is apparently
producing monsters, according to the locals.  Sephiroth and I are
being sent to investigate, and protect the townspeople."

     "It sounds exciting," Aeris said, but her tone was worried.

     "I expect it will be," I replied, and then I smiled
ruefully.  "But the timing really stinks."
     
     She nodded.  "So, when are you leaving?"

     I blew my breath out through pursed lips.  "Well, the
helicopter leaves for Junon at eleven hundred hours, and then
we're sailing for the East Continent this afternoon."

     Her eyes widened in dismay.  "So soon?"

     "I haven't even packed yet," I said, nodding regretfully. 
"I wanted to come and tell you first."

     Aeris's hands tightened almost imperceptibly around my arm. 
"Can't they send someone else?  Why does it have to be you?"

     I shrugged helplessly.  "It's my job."

     "I know, but..."  And she trailed off and looked away, but
not before I saw a hint of wetness shimmering in her eyes.

     My heart plummeted.  I knew she would be disappointed, but I
didn't think she would be so upset over it that it would bring
her to tears.  "Aeris, I'm sorry."  I gently wrapped my arms
around her, and she leaned her head against my shoulder.  I
pressed my cheek against her soft hair.  "I'll make it up to you
somehow, I promise."

     "Zack..."

     "I mean it.  Shinra is going to owe me big time for this
last-minute job, so when I get back, I'll take all my leave and
spend it with you.  We'll get out of Midgar and picnic every day
for a week, if you'd like."

     "No, Zack, I mean..."  She looked up at me again, and for
the first time, I saw the fear in her face; the dread lurking in
the tears that glistened in her eyes.  "Do you really have to
go?"

     I suddenly realized that there was much more to her reaction
than just being disappointed over a canceled picnic outing. 
"Aeris, what's wrong?"

     She looked at me for a long moment, a ripple of emotions
playing across her face, then looked down and gave a small,
watery laugh.  "No... never mind.  It's nothing."

     "It's not nothing if it upsets you this much," I said.  

     But she just shook her head, and wouldn't meet my gaze.  "I
just... have a bad feeling, that's all."

     "A bad feeling," I repeated.  "About... me leaving?"

     She nodded without looking up, and wiped at her eyes with
her fingers.

     I absorbed that silently.  

     "I know, it's silly," she said, struggling to compose
herself.   She looked up at me again and gave me a small smile. 
"Maybe it's just me, my own selfishness, wanting to keep you here
and have you all to myself."

     But I knew it was more than that.  Aeris was in tune with...
with *something,* and I knew better than to take her intuition
lightly.  "It's not silly," I said seriously.  "If you say you've
got a bad feeling... well then, I expect that this assignment is
going to be trouble."

     Her smile faded, and I could see that, in spite of her
denials, she thought so as well.  "But... you're still going."

     I shook my head.  "I'm sorry.  I have to.  I don't have a
choice in this, but even if I could talk my way out of it...
would it really be fair to push that trouble off on someone else? 
Someone who might not be as prepared to deal with it as I am?"

     Aeris sighed forlornly.  "No," she said.  "I suppose not. 
But that doesn't mean I have to like that *you're* the one who
might be..."

     Her voice trailed off, and we stood together in silence
amidst the flowers.  And as I held her in my arms, I struggled to
think of something to say that might make her feel better about
me going off into apparent danger.  My thoughts tumbled over the
early morning briefing and the events that followed, trying to
find a positive spin to the situation, and I found just the
thing.

     "Hey, Aeris," I said, breaking into the melancholy quiet. 
"Do you remember that kid I've been telling you about?"

     She tilted her head up at me thoughtfully.  "The shy one? 
The one you're trying to help get into SOLDIER?"

     I smiled.  "That's the one.  Nibelheim is his hometown, and
so I got him assigned to the team.  I had to talk him into it,
though.  He's doing well in the enlisted army so far, and is on
the verge of being promoted to Private 1st Class, but... well, it
seems that he's afraid of disappointing his friends and family at
home."  I shook my head ruefully.  "The kid's got so much talent,
but he lacks faith in himself.  He's had a ton of bad experiences
at Shinra that have managed to shoot his self esteem all to hell,
so I'm hoping that this assignment will help him out a bit."

     "Mm," Aeris said, and I could hear from that monosyllable
sigh that her mood had lightened slightly.  "Well, from what
you've told me about him, he sounds like a nice boy.  I'm glad he
has a friend like you.  And it's nice that you'll be there to
support him when he returns home."  She sighed.  "I just wish..."

     I reached out and gently lifted her chin so that she would
look me in the eye.  "Aeris, trust me.  I will keep your warning
in mind, and I will be careful."  I grinned.  "And if you're
worried about the monster rumors, don't be.  Think about it. 
Sephiroth is coming with me, and he's so powerful, not even the
Midgar Zolom can hurt him.  Trust me, if anything comes along
that I can't handle, Sephiroth will take care of it, no problem."

     "I trust you, Zack," she said, and she leaned against me
again, and sighed.  "But before you leave... just hold me.  For a
little while."

     A request I was all too happy to oblige.  I drew her close
and held her, and felt her heart beat against mine as I ran my
fingers through her long, silken tresses.  The minutes ticked by
all too quickly.  I wanted to stay there forever, holding her in
my arms, feeling her warmth and love...

     "I have to go," I said.  Somehow I managed to force the
words from my throat.

     She looked up and smiled bravely, but again tears filled her
eyes.  This time, she made no attempt to brush them away.  A
moment passed, and once more she rested her head on my shoulder. 
Her hands clung to me as if, by her will alone, she could keep me
safe from whatever terrible premonition was haunting her.  

     "Promise me," she whispered.  Her breath was warm against my
neck. "Please promise that you'll come back to me."

     I held her close.  *Aeris...* I thought.  My heart was full
of nothing but her; full to overflowing.  *How could I *not* come
back to you?*  But I knew, as she looked up at me with those
luminous eyes, that she wanted a simple answer.

     *Promise me.*

     I leaned forward and she closed her eyes, tears spilling
down her cheeks as I whispered my vow against her soft petal
lips.

     "I promise..."


~*~


     *I promise...*

     I wake in darkness with tears burning my eyes, and a searing
ache in my throat.

     Oh, how I've come to hate that dream.  Memory.  Whatever it
is that flits through my mind with such painful clarity in this
living nightmare.  

     At first, it was a comfort.  A reminder.  Now, it's nothing
but a torture far worse than anything Hojo has ever inflicted on
me.

     Aeris...  Is she still waiting for me to keep my promise,
already five years broken?  Or has she moved on with her life? 
Forgotten me?  

     Either thought is too painful to bear.

     And so, as usual, I push the memory from me, even though
doing so feels like a betrayal.  I push it from me and turn to
look at Cloud.  My best friend who, like Aeris, I have also
failed.

     He is awake.  Or at least, his eyes are open.  But lately,
that doesn't mean much.  Hojo, who isn't even bothering to
pretend to experiment on me anymore, has been giving him Jenova
injections almost every day for over a week.  And with each
injection, Cloud has grown less and less responsive to my efforts
to keep him with me; to keep him from succumbing to the thrall of
the soul-devouring monster within him.

     "Hey, Cloud," I say.  "You there?"

     No response.  And though it makes me feel sick with grief,
I'm not surprised.

     "Well," I say.  "I hope you don't mind me talking anyway. 
Just in case you're in there somewhere.  You know, listening."

     Silence.

     "Funny thing is, I'm pretty lousy at holding one-sided
conversations.  Though it's not really funny.  I mean, none of
this is....  And see, here I am, pointing out the blindingly
obvious, which only goes to show how bad I am at talking out
loud, without someone to talk back.  I'm just not that type of
person, you know?  I've always liked to be around people, see; I
like getting to know them... and that usually requires some sort
of dialogue exchange."

     Cloud remains motionless, his glowing Mako-blue eyes staring
blankly at nothing.

     I sigh.  "You know, it would really help me out here if you
could give me some sort of sign that you can hear me.  It doesn't
have to be anything big.  Just maybe... blink or something.  I
mean, how can you stare like that for so long, and not blink? 
It's unnerving, you know?  I mean... is Jenova somehow keeping
your eyes from drying out?  Because otherwise...."

     Nothing.  Not even the flicker of an eyelid.  And suddenly,
I feel terribly, desperately alone.  More alone than I've ever
felt before.

     "Come on, Cloud," I whisper.  "You promised me you'd fight
it.  You...."

     Huh.  But how can I, the King of Broken Promises, hold him
to his?  He wouldn't have even had to make such a promise if I
hadn't failed him first.

     Wearily, I lean my forehead against the glass of my
cylinder.  "Is this how you felt, Cloud?  Utterly useless?  Like
you had let down everyone you had ever cared about?"  A burning
lump fills my throat and I swallow hard.  "Man... how did you
bear it?"

     No answer is forthcoming from my silent companion.  And so I
turn away and close my eyes, unable to bear seeing him so...
lifeless.   "Cloud... you know how Hojo is always saying you're
the weak one... well, he's lying, you know.  He always lies."  A
thin chuckle escapes my lips.  "Because I think back, and if this
is how you felt all that time... you kept going in spite of it
all.  And me, right now... I can almost feel myself breaking
inside.  If I'm not already broken, because right now, I sound
crazy to my own ears.  I mean, how messed up is that?"

     "... stars..."

     The muffled whisper takes me by surprise, and I lift my head
to stare at Cloud, who doesn't look like he's moved an inch.  

     "Cloud?"  My voice is hesitant.  Maybe I was hearing things. 
I am going crazy, after all, so it wouldn't be unusual.

     But no, his lips are moving again.  Anxiously, a wild surge
of hope spiking through me, I lean forward, straining to hear his
faint, hoarse words though the glass of our prisons.

     "... bleeding..."

     Stars bleeding?  Okay, that's creepy, but at least he's
talking.  He's responding, and the relief I feel is so sharp, I
don't care if he makes sense or not.  I have to keep him talking. 
"What do you mean, Cloud?"

     "... she's bleeding...."  And for the first time in days,
Cloud's expressionless face flickers with grief and anxiety.

     "Who?" I ask.  This expression of emotion... any emotion...
it's a good thing.  It means Cloud is still in there, for real. 
It means there's still a chance.  "Who's bleeding, Cloud?"

     "... don't... die...."

     "No one's going to die," I say, though I suddenly get the
horrible suspicion that he's not talking to me.  He seems like
he's caught in a dream.  And I can see tears forming in his eyes.

     "... please... Tifa... don't...."

     My eyes widen with understanding.  Oh.  Oh, *that.*  He's
remembering *that.*  My stomach sinks, and I suddenly wonder if
trying to get a response out of Cloud was such a good thing after
all.  I mean, I'm glad to know he's still in there somewhere,
still fighting it... but for him to relive that terrible
moment...

     And just as that thought crosses my mind, I hear footsteps
coming from down the long stone corridor that leads to the
outside.

     Panic fills me.  "Oh, shit," I whisper.  "Cloud, Hojo's
coming."  Who knows what that bastard will do if he finds Cloud
talking again.

     "... blood..." Cloud moans.  "Tifa..."

     This is *so* not good.  "Cloud," I whisper urgently, as
loudly as I dare.  "I know I was trying to get you to talk to me,
but if you can hear me at all, *please* listen to me and shut up
before Hojo catches you!"

     The footsteps approach, then pause just on the other side of
the door.  I hold my breath.  If Hojo heard... if Cloud says
anything more...

     But to my immense relief, Cloud is silent again.  Whether
it's because he heard my warning, or the nightmare simply ran its
course, I'm not sure.  And a moment later, it doesn't matter
because the door opens and Hojo steps through.

     Shit.  I think he heard something, because he looks at Cloud
suspiciously over the rims of his dark glasses.  But Cloud is
once again expressionless and unmoving.  After a long,
scrutinizing moment, Hojo glances at me.

     "Talking to yourself, Specimen A?" he asks coldly.

     I shrug.  "No one else to talk to.  Gotta entertain myself
somehow."

     He glares at me briefly before turning his attention back to
Cloud.  Eyes narrowed, he walks right up to the cylinder, hands
clasped behind his back as he peers intently into Cloud's
unblinking, faintly glowing eyes.

     "Hello," he says.  And to my surprise, his voice is...
disturbingly cordial.  "Can you hear me?"

     And realization touches me, like a cold finger on my spine. 
He's not talking to Cloud.

     "If you can hear me," Hojo says, and I can hear a slight
strain in his voice, "please, answer.  Please... show me that my
work has not been in vain."

     But the moments pass in silence.  Except that I can hear my
heartbeat thudding loudly in my ears.

     As the moments stretch into minutes without a response in
spite of Hojo heartfelt appeal, his hands fall to his sides and
slowly clench into fists.  "Why?" he asks in a low voice.  "Why
do you remain silent, even now?"  Slowly, his voice begins to
rise in pitch and volume as his agitation grows.  "Have I not
prepared you a perfect vessel?  A strong, Mako-enhanced body,
whose will has been completely suppressed?  Why do you not assert
control?  What have I done wrong?  Tell me!"

     Cloud stares back at him blankly.  And suddenly, my
greatest, most terrible fear is that he will open his mouth and
speak... with a voice and words not his own.

     Like Sephiroth...

     This is what it's all been about, is that it, Hojo? 
Sephiroth is dead.  Cloud killed him... and so you've tried to
turn him into Sephiroth's replacement?  But I suppose it makes
sense, in a sick sort of way.  Who better to replace Sephiroth,
the most powerful warrior alive, than the man who somehow managed
to destroy him?

     But... Cloud remains silent.  For some reason, Jenova isn't
taking over.  The experiments of the past five years have
succeeded in pushing Cloud's consciousness so deep within himself
that he can barely even function... but with nothing to take his
place.  

     A puppet without strings.  Without a puppet master.

     Hojo's breath comes in short, sharp gasps of anger and
frustration.  "Why?" he asks again, hoarsely.

     In my relief... or panic, or insanity, I'm not sure which...
I decide to shatter the tableau.  "Tough luck, Hojo," I say. 
"Looks like Jenova doesn't like you either.  Maybe if you weren't
such an asshole..."

     He turns on me furiously, and I blink, surprised at seeing
him so vehement.  My insults have never managed to get a rise out
of him before.  "If there is failure in an experiment conducted
with a perfect science," he snaps, "the failure is likely due to
an unworthy specimen.  Your pathetic friend is obviously unfit
for Jenova!"

     I glare right back, in spite of my self-preservation
instincts screaming at me to drop it.  "You know, you're talking
a hell of a lot more like some whacked-out religious fanatic than
a scientist, Hojo.  And if Cloud is so *obviously* unfit, how
come it took you five damn years to figure that out?"

     I can see a vein pulsing on Hojo's forehead, and for a
moment, I think he's actually going to lose it.  

     But then, a sudden, disturbing spark lights his dark eyes,
and he turns away from me quickly.  

     "I see," he mutters, almost to himself.  "Yes... I didn't
take that into consideration.  Such interference *could* be a
factor..."

     I blink.  Interference?  

     Oh, shit, he doesn't mean what I think he means.  

     But Hojo looks at me again, and the calculating smile on his
face confirms my fear.  "Easily dealt with," he says, walking
over to a large cabinet against the wall.  "Yes, and then the
experiment might yet be salvageable..."  Opening a long, thin
drawer, he reaches in and pulls out a small, faintly glowing
green sphere. 

     Materia.  Oh, shit.  Zack, you idiot, why couldn't you just
keep your mouth shut?  You just had to provoke him, didn't you? 
But even now, as Hojo walks up to my cylinder, I can't seem to
keep quiet.  "Hojo, what the hell do you think you're do--"

     Hojo mutters a word under his breath, and the spell rips
through me without preamble... but to my surprise, there is no
pain.  No searing fire, freezing ice, or even violent shock.  And
then it's over.  

     I shake my head, feeling slightly groggy.  "What--" I say,
or try to say, because no sound emerges from my throat... and
understanding hits me like a ton of bricks.  Furiously, I glare
at Hojo, who is almost smirking at me.  *Hojo, you son-of-a-
bitch,* I yell, but all I can hear is the force of my breath.  No
voice.  I've been Silenced.

     And Hojo's attention has already refocused on Cloud. 
Effectively dealt with, I am now nothing more than a nuisance
best forgotten.  "Now then," he mutters, "let's see how a
complete lack of outside communication effects Specimen B. 
Without any human interference to draw him out, it should make a
significant difference.  Don't you think?"  He looks directly
into Cloud's vacant eyes.  A small smile twitches his thin lips. 
"Yes... yes, I should think it will.  And then... perhaps you
will finally speak to me."

     His critical gaze takes in Cloud with a final sweep of his
eyes.  Then, without another word, he turns on his heel and walks
out the door, closing it solidly behind him.

     Immediately, I turn to my friend. *Cloud,* I say... or mouth
silently.  My hand instinctively strays to my throat in
frustration at the lack of sound it's producing.

     And slowly, the horrible realization of what Hojo has done
with a simple spell settles on me like a shroud.  I can't speak. 
I can't reach Cloud at all now.  Is Hojo right?  Will his mind
fade away completely without my voice to pull him back?

     And as for me... without even my own voice for company, the
heavy silence presses in on me, broken only by my own ragged
breathing.

     The moments of silence stretch into minutes.  The minutes
into hours.  Hours into days, days into years, years into eons. 
Eons of silence, with me alone.  My friend next to me, alive, but
empty.  A living shell.

     At some point, I realize that there are tears streaking my
face.  But it doesn't matter.

     There is nothing left.... absolutely nothing, to keep the
terrible specters of memory from haunting me without mercy...


~*~


     The truck rumbled to a shuddering, creaking stop.  I sat up,
blinking sleep from my eyes, and rubbing the back of my neck to
ease the crick I'd earned from trying to sleep sitting upright on
a crate.  Stifling a yawn, I looked over at Sephiroth.  "We there
already?"

     The silver-haired man nodded as he stood.  "We're just
outside the gates.  I thought it would be better if we made our
entrance to the town on foot, since it would be less obtrusive. 
The reports have said that, with the Mako reactor malfunctioning,
anti-Shinra sentiments are rather high.  They're expecting us,
but still, a low profile seems best."

     I nodded.  "Good idea."  I knew that, anti-Shinra sentiments
or no, Sephiroth's very presence alone could be intimidating.  I
don't think there was a person on the Planet who hadn't heard of
his power, intelligence, and cold ferociousness in battle.  But
what most people didn't realize is that Sephiroth wasn't the
greatest general in history just because of his war victories. 
The reason he inspired so much hero-worship and loyalty in his
troops was because of his fair-mindedness, and even temper.  And
I would be a liar if I didn't admit that my admiration of him was
one of the main reasons I became a SOLDIER myself.

     I waited for Sephiroth to open the back doors of the truck
and step outside before getting to my feet.  The open door
brought a welcome gust of crisp mountain air, smelling of pine
trees and the recent rain, into the stuffy confines of the Shinra
vehicle.  That woke up Marlow, who had somehow made himself
comfortable lying down across three lumpy boxes, and he
immediately stumbled out of the back and followed after
Sephiroth.  Strapping my Buster Sword to my back, I looked over
at Cloud, who was still sitting hunched over on his crate. 
"Hey," I said, nudging his boot with my foot.  "You alive?"

     He glared up at me, and I winced.  Motion sickness had
definitely taken its toll on the poor kid.  The shadows under his
eyes made me wonder if he'd managed to catch any sleep the entire
truck ride.  I reached out a hand, which he took silently, and
hauled him to his feet.  "Rejoice, my friend," I said, grinning. 
"For behold, we have reached the end of our turbulent journey,
and solid ground awaits your feet."

     But he was obviously in no mood for my too-cheerful
disposition.  "Shut up, Zack," he moaned, rubbing one hand across
his face.  His spiky blond hair looked even more un-comb-able
than usual.  I just chuckled, much to his annoyance.  But, after
stepping out of the truck and actually standing for a few moments
on motionless dirt, he seemed to get his bearings again. 
Stretching out his kinked muscles, he then looked down and
futilely smoothed at the creased wrinkles in his blue Shinra
uniform for a second, before giving it up as a lost cause. 
"Okay," he said after taking a few deep, cleansing breaths.  I
could almost see the sickly tinge to his skin fade.   "I think I
feel more human now."

     "And not a moment too soon," I said.  "Sephiroth wants us to
head into town now.  We're going in by foot so we're not too
intimidating."

     Cloud blinked.  "Uh... by foot?"

     "Yeah."  I raised an eyebrow.  "Is there something wrong
with that?  If there's some local custom or something that we
should know about..."

     "No... nothing like that."  Cloud looked at the surrounding
forest.  The thatched cottage roofs of Nibelheim rose above the
trees a short ways up the steep dirt road. Looming in the
distance just beyond the town were the dark, jagged peaks of
Nibel mountain range.  He sighed.  "It's... just been a long
time, I guess."

     "Two years, right?"

     He nodded distractedly.  "From here, though, it looks like
nothing at all has changed."

     "Well then, let's get going.  If anything is different, it
will probably be in town, right?"

     "I guess."

     We started hiking up the dirt road towards the town gates. 
Cloud looked around at everything, as if trying to note two years
worth of difference in the forest.  "So," I said.  "Who are you
going to visit first?  Tifa, or your mom?"

     Cloud looked at me, startled.  "T... Tifa?  I... I can't
visit Tifa."

     I grinned.  "Why not?  I thought you liked her."

     "I do!  I mean..." He gave me a flustered, angry frown. 
"Look, I just can't.  She... she probably doesn't even remember
me.  It's not like we were all that close before I left.  I just
had a crush on her, that's all."

     "*Have* a crush," I corrected.  "Have, as in present tense." 
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.  "Look, kid, you
can't fool me.  I've seen you looking at her picture.  I've seen
that starry-eyed expression you get when you're thinking about
her.  You've got it bad."

     He scowled at me, but his ears were turning pink.

     "So you should go visit her," I said.  "I mean, jeeze, what
harm could it do?"

     "You have no idea," he muttered darkly.

     "Whatever."  I shrugged.  "Fine, don't visit her.  I think
you'll be missing out on a great opportunity.  But all I ask at
this point is that, before you take off to visit all your old
haunts, you point me the direction of some decent food.  'Cause
man, I'm starving."

     As we walked farther up the path, the wrought iron gates
framing the entrance of Nibelheim slowly came into view. 
Sephiroth and Marlow were already standing there waiting for us. 
Just outside the gate in the shadow of a brick building was an
old broken-down, rusted-out farming truck that looked like it had
been sitting there for a good decade or so.  Cloud's soft
exclamation of recognition when he saw it confirmed my guess.  He
snorted softly.  "I guess they're never gonna move that truck,"
he muttered.

     I laughed.  And then, looking beyond the gates in the center
of the rustic town square... I saw a girl sitting slouched
against an old wooden water tower.

     "Hey," I said in surprise, nudging Cloud with my elbow. 
"Hey, look, isn't that Tifa?"  I recognized her from the photo
that Cloud always carried around with him.  I couldn't see her
face, because she was looking at the ground, but not many girls
had such long, rich brown hair.

     Cloud froze in his tracks, a horrified expression on his
face as he looked at her.  "Is that... oh, crap, it is!"  He
looked at me, and I blinked at the sudden, stark terror in his
eyes.  "You can't let her see me, Zack!  Please, don't let her
know I'm here!"  And before I could say another word, he turned
and ran at breakneck speed for the Shinra truck.  A few moments
later, he came running back, his Shinra uniform helmet tucked
under one arm.  When he reached me, he shoved the helmet on his
head and frantically began tucking stray spikes of blond hair out
of sight.

     I gave him a flat, impatient look.  "Cloud, what the hell
are you doing?"

     "Please, Zack," he said, and I caught a glimpse of desperate
eyes right before he moved his mask and goggles into place,
effectively covering his entire face.  "Tifa... she thinks I'm in
SOLDIER.  She doesn't know I didn't make it.  I don't think I
could stand it if she..."

     I blinked.  "Is that what this is all about?  You think she
won't like you because you're not a SOLDIER?"

     "It's not just that," he protested weakly.  "Come on, Zack. 
As a friend... please.  Just... don't let her know that I'm here,
okay?"

     I shook my head and sighed.  "Look, if that's the way you
want to do it, fine.  But for the record, I think you're making a
mistake."

     "But you'll do it."  Even with the mask, I could tell how
relieved he was.  

     I started walking again, and Cloud fell into step along side
me.  "Just remember," I said in a low voice as we approached
Sephiroth.  "We're going to be here for a while.  I know damn
well how uncomfortable that mask is, and this town doesn't seem
to be that big.  It's going to be hard for you to avoid her the
whole time."

     "I know, I know," Cloud whispered back.

     Sephiroth raised an eyebrow -- the only indication of any
impatience he had over our late arrival.  Glancing behind him, I
could see Tifa still sitting against the well.  As I walked up to
the gate with Cloud, she looked up and noticed us.  An excited
expression lit her face as she quickly got to her feet, and she
took a few hasty steps towards the gate.  Her eyes were wide and
searching as she examined the four of us standing there.

     It was obvious she was looking for someone.  Someone she
thought might be coming to Nibelheim, with the Shinra SOLDIER
representatives.  Someone she thought she would easily recognize. 
Because when she didn't immediately find who she was looking for,
her expression crumpled.  She took a couple of hesitant steps
backward, before turning and running into a nearby house.

     I stifled the urge to rub a hand over my face in
exasperation as I suddenly wondered what the hell kind of soap
opera I had gotten myself into.

     "So," said Sephiroth, turning to Cloud.  If he noticed the
whole silent debacle that had taken place behind him, he made no
sign.  "It's your first time back to your hometown in a while,
right?  So how does it feel?"

     As always, when Sephiroth addressed him directly, Cloud
froze as he fought to respond through the instinctive awe that
gripped him.  Apparently unable to form an appropriate verbal
response, he shrugged stiffly.

     "I wouldn't know," Sephiroth continued.  "I don't have a
hometown."

     I blinked.  That... was kind of odd.  Sephiroth had never
really mentioned anything about his past before.  To just bring
it up out of the blue... well, maybe he sensed Cloud's
discomfort, and was trying to set him at ease.

     Cloud was just as taken aback as me, apparently, because he
somehow unfroze his vocal cords.  "Ummm," he managed.  "How about
your parents?"

     Sephiroth looked at him, and then his gaze grew distant for
a moment.  "My mother," he said slowly, "is Jenova.  She died
right after she gave birth to me.  My father..."  He trailed off,
then laughed.  It was a low, bitter sound, and he waved off the
question.  "Well, what does it matter?"

     He turned to look at us, and seemed to only then notice that
we were all staring at him wide-eyed.  He seemed to expect it,
though.  The corner of his mouth turned up in a small, amused
smile.

     "All right," he said, turning away.  "Let's go."

     And, as Cloud and I cast surprised, uneasy glances at each
other, we followed Sephiroth through the iron gates of Nibelheim.


~*~

To be continued.
     

Well?  Whaddya think?

-Krista
kperry@aros.net
http://www.akane.org/fanfiction

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