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First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who helped me and sent C&C. I don't
know what I'd have done without it.
Ok, I tried to revise what I have so far. I'm sending the prologue and the
first two chapters together in one message... they are small enough, so it
shouldn't be a problem. So, please tell me if I'm on the right track, and if
there is anything else I should revise to make the story better and more
plausible.
Disclaimer time: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz Communications
own Ranma 1/2. Kosuke Fujishima, Dark Horse Comics and Studio Proteus own
Oh! My Goddess (Ah! Megami-sama).
Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il or corwin@virtuallyjeannie.com)
http://www.virtuallyjeannie.com/ranma.html
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
The Belle-ken
Prologue
"Hello, Ranma."
"H-Hiya, Bell! Nice weather we're having, right?" the pigtailed god asked,
laughing nervously.
"Oh, Ranma, you're so silly!" Belldandy, goddess first class, said with a
smile. "The weather is always the same around here!"
"You'd like some tea? Coming right up!" Ranma announced obliviously, walking
towards his kitchen, only to bump into a plant. "Oh, did I hit you,
Belldandy? I'm sorry."
Ranma then proceeded to pick the plant that he'd knocked down accidentally
from the floor.
"Belldandy? Are you on a diet? You look so thin..."
Giggling at the pigtailed god's antics, the Norn of the Present sat on the
couch in his living room, waiting for Ranma to come to his senses...
--------------------------------------------------
"Man, it happened again, didn't it?" Ranma asked sadly, sliding listlessly
down the wall he'd been leaning on, and landing on the floor.
"Everything would've been alright if you'd just taken the potion I gave you
earlier!" Urd replied, scowling at him. 'Honestly! To go to pieces around
her every time like that...'
"I did take the blasted potion!" Ranma yelled, before letting his face drop
into his hands. "It didn't help. Nothing ever helps. Bell thinks I'm a
fool..."
Sighing, Urd rose from the couch she'd been lying on, and walked over to the
pigtailed god, patting him on the shoulder.
"You're wrong, Ranma. Belldandy likes you very much..."
"As a friend, right?"
When Urd failed to reply, Ranma sighed deeply.
"Just as a friend."
"If you want to be something more, you have to let her know that," Urd
admonished him.
"Gee, thanks for reminding me," Ranma replied bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Ranma. You know I'd like to help you... I've tried my best, but
it doesn't seem enough. Maybe Skuld..."
"Nah, I don't want to bother the kid with this. Besides, I'm pretty sure she
hates me."
Crossing her fingers behind her back, the self-proclaimed Goddess of Love
said, "No she doesn't, Ranma."
He merely smirked in response.
"You'll get put on probation again for lying like that, you know?"
The Norn of the Past matched his smirk, raising Ranma's head with one hand
until his eyes met hers.
"It'd be worth it to cheer you up again."
"Aww, you're just a big softie at heart," Ranma cooed, eliciting a chuckle
from the bronze-skinned goddess.
"Tell anyone about this and I'll call the vengeance of Heavens upon you!"
she mock threatened, tugging on his pigtail.
Tickling her suddenly, Ranma caused Urd to release his pigtail as she fell
on the floor laughing. Rising and offering her a helping hand, Ranma's mind
was set. Not all was lost, and he'd have another chance to win Belldandy's
attention.
--------------------------------------------------
"Hello, you've reached the Goddess Help Line. Please wait patiently and
our..."
Keiichi muttered an apology for dialing the wrong number, and put the
telephone's handle back, hoping that the call wouldn't cost him any money.
It sure sounded like a psychic hotline, and they usually charged a bundle
per minute. He was going to try dialing another number, when a voice greeted
him.
It took Keiichi a couple of seconds to realize that the voice came from
behind him, and even less than that to bolt to the other side of the room in
panic, once he saw that it belonged to a beautiful young woman that was
coming out of a mirror.
"Excuse me," the brown-haired woman said politely. "May I enter your room?"
Keiichi remained in shock for most of the consultation with the goddess -
Belldandy, as she called herself. Had he been thinking clearly, he might've
avoided making a very fateful wish that bound the visiting goddess to become
his girlfriend.
When Keiichi was thrown out of the dorms with most of his meager belongings,
he silently wished that he could've thought a bit before speaking...
Keiichi's wish was mirrored by another; a god, to be exact. A very furious
and jealous god, who was barely restrained from going down to Earth and
strangling the life out of the kind-hearted mortal. Thor and a couple of
lesser gods were severely thrashed in the brawl before the raven-haired God
of Time and Patron of Orchids was stopped.
Subsequently, the pigtailed god was restricted to Asgard except during
official capacity. In other words, Ranma couldn't go down to Earth and beat
up the poor sap that made one unfortunate wish before thinking. The only
other person that he could blame was Kami-sama, but no one was crazy enough
to openly defy him.
This admittedly temporarily solution was considered acceptable to most
deities involved... except one. When Ranma was finally able to reign in his
temper, he realized that the edict also prevented him from seeing Her.
--------------------------------------------------
"C'mon, Peorth! Please?"
"No, and that is final, Ranma," the goddess said coldly, trying her best to
ignore him.
Getting down on his knees, Ranma grabbed her hands and looked up into her
eyes, appearing as miserable as he could.
"Please, big sister. I won't get in trouble, I promise! All I want to do..."
"Is see Belldandy, right?" Peorth said tiredly, sighing. Despite outwardly
projecting calmness and control, her mind was in a turmoil. She knew how it
was to be in love, and how difficult it must've been on her brother to be
kept away from the kind-natured Norn, but what he was asking went against
the rules.
"I'm sorry, little brother, but..." she started saying, her voice wavering
slightly.
"I won't take no for an answer," Ranma flatly said, cutting her off.
Standing up, he directed a determined gaze at the Goddess of Moments.
"Peorth, without Belldandy my life has no purpose. I didn't want to put you
in this position, and so I tried to call in any favors I had in this place.
You are my last stop."
Cupping her left cheek in his hand, he added softly, "To see her again, if
only for a passing moment..." Ranma closed his eyes. "For that, I'll do
anything that you ask of me. Please, don't let me down, sister."
Peorth's defenses crumbled, and she sighed in defeat.
"Very well, Ranma. I'll let you fill in at my Goddess Relief Office." Seeing
the ecstatic look on his face, she added quickly. "There are a few things
you will have to do."
"Anything!"
"Firstly, this is a _Goddess_ Relief Office, Ranma. You'll have to receive a
secondary - female - form for the duration of the interview, until the
moment the wish had been fulfilled. The system simply won't accept you as a
temp otherwise."
"You mean I'll be shifting from my real form to a female one and back until
I return here?" Ranma asked to clear things up for him.
"I suppose," Peorth replied, before smirking. "It appears you'll have to
embrace your inner self after all, Ranma."
The pigtailed god groaned, and tried his best to ignore his sister's
laughter.
"All right, that isn't a problem. What next?" Ranma suppressed the urge to
wince, mentally adding to himself that it wasn't like he actually had to use
the female form or anything.
"Don't alienate the mortal you're assigned to. Remember, satisfied clients
is our motto!"
"Whatever; not a problem. Next?"
"You'll be recalled five minutes after the wish had been granted," Peorth
said, locking her eyes with Ranma's own. "You know where that temple is
located. Teleport there, say hi, and report back here. Don't even think
about doing something to the mortal."
"Don't worry, Sis. I won't hurt anyone. It's just that when I first heard
the news, I..."
"You don't have to explain, Ranma. I'd say 'been there, done that', but that
expression seems hollow in this situation."
Ranma nodded mutely, lowering his eyes to the ground.
"Hey, cheer up, Little Brother! After all, you're going to see Belldandy."
Glancing at him mischievously, Peorth added, "And at least appear before her
in the female form, before switching back to your other one."
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
The teenage girl with the long, raven hair threw the phone on the ground in
frustration. It had to be the fiftieth number she'd dialed... and the
fiftieth wrong number that she'd gotten. Was she under some curse?!
"Hello," a soft voice greeted from behind her.
Akane slowly turned around, noticing a busty albeit short red-head smile at
her reassuringly, while she seemed to be studying her rather intently.
Blushing, Akane looked down to study her toes for a moment, before her head
snapped back up in irritation, just in time to see the red-head's features
blurring for a moment, revealing the new arrival to be in fact a male.
Taking another look at Akane, the pigtailed boy gave himself an affirmative
nod and tried to introduce himself.
"My name is..."
The visitor's name remained a mystery, as the remains of the phone were
hurtled at him with incredible speed, impacting on a translucent barrier a
few centimeters away from his body. The young girl ignored that, as she
picked up a heavy barbell, preparing to throw it at the weird sex-changing
peeping tom... and found herself sitting on a couch in the living room. The
stranger was sitting on the ground opposite of her, smiling slightly, albeit
the smile appeared to be forced. The giant barbell was nowhere in sight.
"What did you do to me, you... you... freak of nature?!" the girl accused,
jumping to her feet and raising the living room table above her head.
Blinking, she found herself seated on the couch yet again, the table
standing in the corner of the room.
"Umm, could you let me introduce myself before you try to cave my head in?"
the stranger asked, straining to keep the smile on his face. Not waiting for
an answer, he continued, "My name is Ranma, God First Class, First Category,
Limited."
He concluded the introduction by handing his speechless client a business
card.
"Akane Tendo, you have been deemed worthy of a wish. Your gentle nature..."
Ranma coughed a few times, thinking that it was perhaps one of those inner
things Belldandy always used to talk about. "Anyway, your good traits made
you eligible for receiving a wish, and I'm here to grant it."
"Why me?" Akane asked, still in shock.
"You were the closest... err, I mean, the best candidate out of those I
could choose from. Yeah, that's it!"
Ranma hated lying, but keeping the client happy and satisfied was one of the
requirements, after all. He promised his sister that he'd follow all of them
to the letter.
"Alright," the girl said dubiously, getting back to her senses. Something
wasn't right here. How could she know he wasn't a pervert? He claimed to be
a god... and they were all perverted. Weren't they? They certainly slept
around, especially within their own family. It had to be a requirement of
some sort. And this Ranma did try to peep on her, using a female disguise.
Who knew how many times he had tried that before, sneaking into innocent
girls' houses and tricking them into making perverted wishes?
Or maybe he even went to public bathhouses and assaulted helpless women
trying to bath in peace and harmony! How did gods find any spare time with
all the origes going on in Heaven? Besides, he probably used the female form
for more than just peeping. Being a god would certainly make him perverted
enough to use that female form in all those shameless incestual orgies...
after all, didn't all of the gods sleep with their parents?
"Umm, no," Ranma replied, blushing. "You are wrong about a lot of that. I
think you need to lay off the mythology a bit. It's a collection of legends,
nothing more."
"You read my mind!" Akane accused, her temper flaring. "How dare you?!"
Ranma considered telling his client that reading her mind was perfectly
acceptible and in fact one of the requirements of the meeting, but he felt
the need to defend the collective honor of deities worldwide and in the
Heavens above. Belldandy had been one of them, and to even think such things
of the poor, sweet and innocent...
"For your information," Ranma replied finally, "those were humans who came
up with the really perverted stuff. Who do you think writes all those
legends and myths, huh?"
Akane seethed in angered at the terrible slight to her person. A girl's
private thoughts were sacred, and he'd just entered her head without her
permission! And the worst thing about it... he didn't even try to apologize!
He was just trying to fool her... confuse her with some divine propaganda
that was geared towards the single goal of subverting mortals to the
deities' perverted needs! Akane took a long look at this god - he might as
well had been one, with the powers he had demonstrated and by so obviously
being such a sick person that would stoop to dirty tricks to confuse her and
soil her honor. He was a pervert of the worst kind! And there wasn't even
anything she could do to hurt him... to protect herself and her family from
his perverted advances; she was, for all intents and purposes, powerless to
fight back this threat...
Powerless except for one thing...
Ignoring the god's pathetic attempts to justify his actions, Akane jumped
off the couch, picking it up and shouting, "I wish I could make you suffer
from your worst nightmare for the rest of your life!
Ranma was preparing to momentarily stop time again and seat the girl back on
the couch before she attacked him, feeling immensely grateful that he didn't
have to spend more time than he absolutely had to with her, when his danger
sense flared up. Hearing the wish, he tried to freeze time before it was too
late, but the Yggdrasil overrode his powers, letting the wish be worded.
The symbols on Ranma's face flared, and his body rose from the ground,
sending an immense beam of pure light to the Heavens. When the light show
and the mini hurricane accompanying the wish-granting process ended, the
pigtailed god's body crumpled to the floor in a heap.
The couch hit him a split second later.
--------------------------------------------------
"Owie," Ranma moaned, opening his eyes. He was lying on the ground, with a
blanket covering most of his body.
Blinking a few times, Ranma tried to sit up, only to fall back with a groan.
He hurt all over, almost as if someone had thoroughly beat him up while he'd
been unconscious.
That's right, he had been unconscious!
And that was because he'd been knocked out before he could recover from the
massive drain that resulted from granting that wish...
That wish...
"Oh no!" Ranma shouted, bolting upright. Ignoring the pain, he looked around
for a phone, and finally made a cellular one appear when he couldn't spot
any in the room. Hurriedly pressing one of the numbers on the speed dial,
Ranma waited impatiently while his call was being processed by the system.
"Peorth!" he all but shouted, when the call finally got through.
"Sorry, Ranma, but she's not here at the moment," a familiar voice answered
him.
"Urd? What are you doing there?" the pigtailed god asked confusedly.
"Umm... I don't know how to put this, Ranma... but your sister has been
temporarily relocated. If you ask me, that whole punishment thing is
stupid."
"Peorth... punished? What are you talking about?"
Urd sighed, before answering, "You've been out of it for a while, huh? Your
wish had been processed and accepted by the system. And since you didn't try
to contest it within the first twenty-four hours, it became permanent."
"I've been out a whole day?!" Ranma yelled into the phone.
"I'm afraid that is true," a young woman answered his question.
Slowly turning around to face the source of the voice, Ranma told Urd that
he'd call her later.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" he asked, biting on his lower lip. That
voice...
"My name is Kasumi Tendo. I believe you've already met my younger sister,
Akane," the brown-haired woman said apologetically.
Ranma involuntarily winced, recalling his unsuccessful interview.
"I'm sorry for her actions," Kasumi said quickly, seeing his expression.
"Please forgive Akane. She's been having very bad luck at school...
especially with boys."
"So? How does this apply here?" Ranma asked confusedly. "I'm a god!"
"Modest, aren't you?" a short-haired girl quipped, walking over to him. "You
sure look like one, though."
"That's because I am one," Ranma replied, handing her a business card. "Read
it and check for yourself if you want to, Nabiki Tendo."
"So, you know my name," she commented, raising an eyebrow.
"It was in the file," Ranma said off-handedly. "Akane Tendo is supposed to
live with her father and her two sisters, and since I've already met Kasumi,
here..."
Nabiki shrugged nonchalantly.
"So, you're a god. Can you prove it?"
Ranma shrugged as well, producing an orchid out of thin air and making it
float over to the eldest Tendo sister.
"Would you like one as well, Nabiki?"
"I didn't realize we were on first name basis already," the middle Tendo
daughter said amusedly, looking down at the business card in her hands. "You
sure work fast... Ranma."
"I don't believe in formalities," Ranma deadpanned, standing up. "Besides,
we'll be spending a lot of time together from now on."
"Oh, really? And why is that?" Kasumi asked, smiling sweetly.
Closing his eyes for a moment to clear his mind from the fog that threatened
to cover it, Ranma explained with a sigh, "You see, Akane made a very
careless wish..."
--------------------------------------------------
Ranma lay on his futon in the guest room, thinking about the day's events.
Nabiki was skeptical, until he demonstrated his ability to stop time.
Whether it was what really convinced her, or when he went for broke and
triggered a transformation to his female self, growing beautiful white wings
in the process, he wasn't really sure. At least, once the two Tendo sisters
regained consciousness, they didn't question his origin or powers. And a
thorough explanation of the Ultimate Force and what going against it might
do was immediately followed by an invitation to use their guest room for as
long as he'd like.
All in all, things happened better than one might expect in a situation like
this.
Once he was left alone, Ranma called Urd again and she filled him on what
he'd missed during the past day. Peorth's superiors didn't like that she
bent the rules for her brother, and she had to man the switchboard as
punishment. It was done mainly to humiliate her, but Ranma felt guilty
nonetheless for letting that happen to his sister.
Apparently, the wish had become permanent in the meanwhile. Urd suggested
that if he were to get Akane Tendo renounce the contract, there were certain
things that could be done. Between Skuld and a few deities that still owed
him favors, Ranma had a pretty good chance to get back to Asgard...
He chose to stay on Earth. Filing away the option Urd offered him, Ranma
made a conscious decision to accept his contract.
If he went back home, his previous limitations would apply on him again. And
this time, no one would risk their neck to help him visit the mortal world.
Not that those cowards helped him before, but the chances now were simply
astronomical.
At least, he could be near Belldandy now.
Both of them were bound to their contracts, but that didn't change the fact
that Ranma was now as close to her as he could possibly be, under the
circumstances.
He figured that Urd understood that, and decided not to press the issue.
Ranma mentally thanked her for that.
Turning over on his futon, Ranma tried to get some sleep, and tuned the
happy singing of the Tendo patriarch. Apparently, the man had misunderstood
him after hearing the exact wording of the wish and some of Ranma's own
speculations on the matter, and now believed Ranma and Akane to be engaged.
It didn't help that Soun overheard how the wish was supposed to express the
client's innermost desires. The scariest thing was that the Ultimate Force
still could have understood things that way... didn't Japanese proposals go
along the same lines? Granted, they weren't usually spoken by a person who
hated your guts for some prejudice you couldn't even begin to comprehend,
but love was never really a requirement or a factor... only a bonus. And if
the Ultimate Force decided to go by the local tradition...
In the end, only Kami-sama knew everything, and he wasn't telling. Ranma had
a few choice words to offer him for being stuck up and mysterious and usual,
but then thought better of voicing them. A small part of his mind countered
that Kami-sama, being omniscient and omnipotent, knew his thoughts... before
he even had them, in fact...
Ranma sighed, magically blocking all outside noise and closing his eyes.
Despite everything that happened to him, it was still worth it.
--------------------------------------------------
End of Prologue.
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
The Belle-ken
Chapter 1
"Hello, Akane, Nabiki," Ranma greeted the pair of girls, as he descended the
stairs and entered the living room. "Greetings, Mr. Tendo."
"Hello, Son!" Soun exclaimed, tears running down his cheeks. "You make an
old man's heart weep with joy!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Tendo, but I am not your son. In fact, I'm much older than
you."
Ranma sighed, concluding that the Tendo patriarch had a fantastical ability
of only hearing what pleased him. Deciding not to dwell on it too much, he
smiled at Kasumi as she entered the living room from the kitchen, carrying
breakfast.
"Let me help you with that, Kasumi dear," the pigtailed boy offered,
springing into action before the eldest Tendo had a chance to respond.
Freeing the bowls of miso soup from Kasumi's hands, Ranma made a bouquet of
orchids appear in them.
'Thos gods and their shameless flirting... you can't let your guard around
them for a moment!' Akane thought angrily, hefting the table and trying to
clobber Ranma's head in righteous fury with it.
"Trying to seduce my sister, are you?! Well, Kami-sama may allow it, but
Akane Tendo sure as Hell won't!"
Uncosciously mirroring Ranma, Nabiki winced, hoping that Kasumi had enough
food in the kitchen to replace what their younger sister was about to
destroy. And then, she found herself staring at her own bowl of soup.
Quickly surveying her surroundings, the middle Tendo daughter noticed that
everyone was seated at the table, and that Ranma's food was already gone.
"Showing off again?" she asked with a smirk.
"Nah, just hungry," Ranma replied, sighing contentedly. "Kasumi's food
tastes even better than it smells, if that's possible."
Kasumi blushed at the compliment, mumbling "Thank you" in reply. Ranma just
stared at the table intently, a heavy blush adorning his cheeks.
"Have you no shame, you walking avatar of perversion?! How dare you still
flirt with my innocent sister again?!" Akane yelled, prepared to teach
this... god... a lesson he wouldn't forget.
"Akane," Nabiki said sternly, gripping Akane's right hand firmly. "It's too
early in the morning for a temper tantrum. Besides, I haven't eaten yet."
Grumbling, Akane settled down, and didn't try to punish Ranma anymore.
Nabiki was a dangerous enemy to have, and she wasn't about to risk
estranging her over a stupid boy.
"So, Son, do you do kempo?" Soun asked, putting his newspaper aside. "You
are going to take over the dojo when you marry Akane, after all."
"I am?" Ranma asked, blinking. Then he realized what the man said to him.
"Hey, there's no way we're going to get married!" both Ranma and Akane
shouted at the same time, glaring at each other.
Ranma shuddered briefly. The Ultimate Force was sneaky, and he had to be on
his guard at all time to prevent something bad from happening. The
possibility of an engagement to Akane was bad enough... actually giving a
silent approval to marriage, of all things, would be... it would be... bad
wouldn't even begin to describe it.
Noticing Ranma's reaction and cataloging it for later reference, Nabiki's
mouth curved into a smile, as she decided to pole some fun at the already
annoyed god.
"Ranma probably doesn't know how to fight, Daddy. He has power over orchids,
after all."
Ranma practically glowed, giving Nabiki a baleful gaze.
"And what's that s'pposed ta mean, huh? Everyone's constantly puttin' me
down an' stuff, whether it's the orchids, or my angel... I can't take it
anymore!"
"Oh my, does it mean you're a fighter?"
"Well, not really. I studied martial arts for a few centuries to teach
everyone who teased me a lesson. Calling me a pansy just 'cause I control
flowers..."
Ranma's words descended into grumbling, and he pouted. The sight almost made
Nabiki laugh out loud.
"Why didn't you defend yourself against Akane, then, instead of stopping
time?" Kasumi asked, getting everyone's attention.
Ranma mumbled something unintelligible.
"What was that, Ranma-kun?" the eldest Tendo asked.
"I said it was all because of the Ultimate Force. Akane's still my client,
and I can't really attack her without some serious consequences. Since
stopping time doesn't have to be person-oriented, I can get away with it, if
I do it right."
"Right, so that's why you froze all of us instead of just Akane," Nabiki
said out loud, nodding.
"Well, yeah," Ranma replied, shrugging. "Trust me, the results of an
Ultimate Force on the warpath aren't pretty."
"I can imagine," Nabiki said dryly.
Looking at her watch, she sighed, and finished her breakfast. Putting the
soup bowl down, she thanked Kasumi for the food and got up from the table.
"Coming, Ranma?" Nabiki asked him, picking up her bookbag.
"Coming where?" the god asked in return, blinking owlishly.
"To school, you idiot!" Akane yelled, moving past him.
Realization dawned upon Ranma, and he started waving his hands rapidly.
"No! Nononono! Look, I'm not even registered..."
"I already took care of that," Nabiki said offhandedly.
"I... I already know everything they're teaching there!"
Nabiki shrugged, directing a slightly amused stare at the pigtailed god.
"Who goes to school to study, Ranma-baby?"
"But... but! Aww... I don't wanna go to school!"
"Would you rather stay here with Daddy?"
Ranma blinked, and looked between Nabiki and Soun. He frowned.
There was, of course, a third option. He could go and see Belldandy, and
then they could... they could... have a party! Yes, a party! And then...
"Hey, Ranma... Ranma? Ranma!"
"You want to go and see a movie, Belldandy?"
Rolling her eyes, Nabiki walked out of the door. Without turning around, she
told the god to catch up if he changed his mind. Just as she was about to
leave his line of sight, Ranma managed to snap out of his private fantasy
world and decided that the safest option would be to take Nabiki up on her
offer.
--------------------------------------------------
"And who might you be, Peasant?" Kuno asked arrogantly, posing.
"The name's Ranma, Patron of Orchids and G..."
Nabiki quickly covered Ranma's mouth, and told her classmate that Ranma was
staying with them for a while. The resulting battle destroyed half of the
schoolyard before Kuno went down.
Seeing all the destroyed flora almost made Ranma cry.
'If Belldandy were here, she'd probably faint,' he thought dejectedly.
Ignoring the rain that started, Ranma cast his own version of the basic
regeneration and restoration spell. Smiling gently at the revived trees, the
pigtailed god proceeded into the school building.
Once Ranma got inside, he and his clothes glowed for a few moments, drying
the water almost instantly. Shaking his head at the troubles one had to
endure just to get to school these days in Japan, Ranma walked into his
classroom and introduced himself.
The girls only sighed and nodded collectively when he mentioned that he was
a god, while the boys all gave him the evil eye. Shrugging, he waved at
everyone, and took his proffered seat, which was, incidentally, right next
to Akane.
"Did you have to show off again?" she hissed.
"Oro?"
"Don't you 'oro' me, you idiot! Why did you say all those things about being
a god?"
Although peeved at being called names for no good reason, Ranma managed to
stop his mouth before it could go on autopilot and retaliate in kind.
"Because I am a god. We don't lie."
"Hmph!"
Still annoyed, Akane turned away from Ranma, purposely ignoring him for the
rest of the day.
Nabiki didn't seem to mind that fact, as she all but dragged Ranma to have
lunch with her, basking in the jealous glares she got from all the girls at
the schoolyard.
"So, Ranma-chan..."
"Umm, please call me Ranma," the pigtailed boy corrected her. Something
about that name just sent shivers down his spine for some reason.
Nabiki shrugged and smiled at him, not unlike a cat.
"Like I was saying, Ranma... you believe you are stuck here on Earth because
the Ultimate Force somehow interpreted Akane's wish as a marriage proposal?"
Ranma shrugged, grabbing a bite from his sandwich.
"I dunno, really. That's how it seems to me. I admit that there are worst
things than being stuck with your sister, even if it's for a lifetime, so
Yggdrasil must've messed up or something."
"How nice of you to think of my sister in that way," Nabiki said with a
smirk.
Ranma frowned, resting his hands in his lap and looking down to stare at
them.
"That didn't come out quite right, and I'm sorry. I know Akane's a good
person deep down... heck, the system said she deserved a wish, right? That
alone must mean she has a lot of good traits."
"But she doesn't hold a candle to your Belldandy, does she?"
"Belldandy... she is the embodiment of perfection. No one holds a candle to
her; no one can. There is not a being in this world that is worthy of her."
The pigtailed boy sighed deeply, and continued staring down. Nabiki left him
alone, satisfied with the answers she had gotten for the time being.
Something seemed extremely fishy to her about the entire wish, but she
figured that they would all find out what that was in due time. Since any
potential nasty aftereffects would only concern Ranma himself - that was the
only thing she was sure about, due to the wording of Akane's wish - Nabiki
decided not to get too involved in divine affairs.
'It's not like Akane likes him. And if worse comes to worse, he's not really
family,' she thought to herself, trying to ignore how cold-hearted that
sounded.
--------------------------------------------------
Akane was pretty worked up after spending the entire day while trying to
avoid answering questions about Ranma. Couldn't those idiots get a life? So
what if he could take on Kuno, or somehow magically fix all of the damage...
or that he called himself a god. Who cared about that?
But most of all, what really got under Akane's skin was that his girl side
was a real knockout. While handsome in his real form and fairly popular at
Furinkan for his first day there, she had a real problem of accepting that a
guy could make a cuter girl than she... even if that guy was a god. It just
wasn't fair!
Running all the way home, Akane arrived a good ten minutes before Nabiki or
Ranma. Deciding to relax from her taxing day, she turned on the television.
However, she was not prepared to hear corny romantic music come from her
television set, as a logo for what was obviously a bad and tasteless porn
movie - what else could possibly be titled 'The Sexy Goddess' - appeared in
the middle with cheesy sound effects.
Akane's disgust quickly turned into shock, when a pair of shapely bronze
legs emerged from the screen, almost flashing her because of the
ridiculously short skirt the new arrival wore.
"Who are you?" Akane asked, subconsciously tightening her hold on her
bookbag.
Could that be? Were even more beautiful women following Ranma, to flaunt
their essets and obviously seduce innocent virgins... or was this actually
another attempt to subvert her, after Ranma failed to do so, despite his
cunning and his shape-shifting abilities?
The platinum-haired guest frowned for a moment, slightly put off by the fact
that the girl in front of her had just zoned off all of a sudden and was now
slowly choking her bookbag. That didn't stop her for long, as she leaned
over to Akane, almost touching noses with the other girl and showing her no
small amount of cleavage at the same time.
"I'm Urd, the Norn of the Past, but you can just call the Goddess of Love!"
she announced finally with a seductive wink, almost purring the last part
and completely disregarding the other girl's actions with a mental shrug.
"Is Ranma here?"
"How dare you... and that... YOU PERVERTS!" Akane yelled, tearing the
bookbag into two halves and reaching for the table. She had been right all
along! Her unfaithful fiance - not that she wanted him in the first place -
did invite his girlfriends to her house! And to seduce her, no less! Didn't
they ever give up?! Ooh, those gods made her _soo_ mad...
Urd had a chance to blink in confusion, before her world went dark.
--------------------------------------------------
"So, you came to visit me, Urd?" Ranma asked her, wincing sympathetically
when the goddess stirred and moved the wet towel from her forehead.
"Yeah... I figured I'd give you a hand down here on Midgard. Besides..."
"You thought it'd be fun, didn't you?" Ranma finished with a smile on his
lips.
Urd sighed.
"I didn't expect to be greeted by a..."
"Table?"
Urd sat up, groaning, and pressed the wet towel back to her forehead.
"I didn't know you were psychic, Ranma," she remarked, looking at him.
"Nah, I just got the same greeting," Ranma said offhandedly.
"Really? No bullshit?"
"Urd, you swear like a demon," Ranma said, chuckling. "But yeah, really."
"Maybe it's the local custom or something," Urd ventured thoughtfully.
"Could be," Ranma agreed. "On my first day at school, I had to fight this
incredibly resilient kendoist just to get inside."
Urd summarized the situation in one word, "Weird".
Offering the goddess his hand, Ranma helped her to her feet. She took a step
forward, before stumbling and holding onto his shoulder for support.
"I'm sorry about the disorientation you're feeling, Urd," Ranma said
remorsefully. "Unfortunately, I was never that good in healing spells for
either mortals or gods, and my magic's been taxed already after I had to fix
the damage that idiot kendoist caused at school... I just don't have the
mana for the really powerful stuff."
"That's alright, Ranma. I know you did your best, and I'm feeling much
better already," Urd reassured him.
"In that case..."
Ranma handed the goddess an orchid.
"Here's a little something... just for you. A beautiful flower, for a
beautiful goddess."
Blushing slightly, Urd took the proffered flower.
"You know, Ranma, that if you talked to Belldandy like that, she'd either
slap you or go out with you."
"G-Go out with me? Belldandy? R-Really?"
Ranma went to sigh excitedly in a corner of the room, occasionally talking
with one of the walls. Seeing this, Urd slapped her forehead in disgust,
immediately regretting that act as the pain registered.
'I see we still have a long way to go... but I am not called the Goddess of
Love for nothing!'
--------------------------------------------------
End of Chapter 1.
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
The Belle-ken
Chapter 2
Keiichi had just sat down on a couch and raised the cup of hot cocoa that
Belldandy had thoughtfully made for him to his lips, when its surface
started glowing. Astonished, he watched as a young girl started to rise
slowly out of the turbulence, hands clasped before her chest and her eyes
peacefully closed.
When her hips had somehow managed to clear the impossibly small mouth of the
cup, her eyes snapped open and she glanced around the room, trying to get
her bearings straight. Pausing in her ascent, the girl with the oval-shaped
markings on her forehead reached down below the surface of the cocoa and
fumbled around. She then yanked out a massive mallet, giving it a few test
hefts. Then, with a grunt of exertion and a slightly maniacal gleam in her
eyes, she wound up and struck Keiichi right on the noggin, causing the boy
to lose his grip on the cup of cocoa.
Unable to continue levitating as her portal was suddenly flung aside, Skuld
landed on her butt, glaring at Keiichi. The mortal just cringed, rubbing his
sore head.
After staring at each other for several more moments, they both cried out in
unison, "Belldandy!"
--------------------------------------------------
"So big sister Urd and Ranma told you that you had to greet people in Japan
by hitting them upside the head with a large blunt object?" Belldandy asked,
shaking her head disapprovingly. 'And Ranma seemed like such a nice young
god...'
"Well, yeah," Skuld replied uncertainly. "They also said that if I had to go
and look for you at Nekomi Tech, I should bring a bokken with me." Frowning
cutely, the goddess added, "They didn't say why."
"Oh, Skuld." Belldandy sighed. "Couldn't you see that you were tricked? Who
in their right mind would do such a thing?"
"But Belldaaandy!" Skuld whined. "Urd and Ranma swore to me that they were
greeted the same way when they came to Nerima! The old hag might've lied,
but you know that Ranma is... is..."
'A pansy,' Skuld's mind supplied helpfully, but she decided to omit that
part in front of her favorite sister.
Belldandy's features hardened, and her eyes lit up with a look that promised
the vengeance of Heavens.
"How dare they hit Ranma! He's... why, Ranma is..." the Norn of the Present
raged, before collecting her thoughts and calming down a bit. "Ranma is such
a nice person. And so is big sister... what foul demon would hurt them like
that?"
"Ranma's fiancee," Skuld said offhandedly.
"F-Fiancee?" Belldandy asked in shock, covering her mouth with her right
hand.
"Yes, fiancee. What's the problem, Belldandy? Don't tell me that you were
interested in him!"
"N-No... of course not, Skuld. Besides, I have my duty to Keiichi,"
Belldandy said hurriedly, throwing a glance at the mortal boy.
The Norn of the Future allowed herself a small chuckle. Everything was going
according to plan.
--------------------------------------------------
"So, Akane, how is it living with a god?" Sayuri asked with a playful wink.
The younger Tendo daughter scuffed in indignation and turned away, only to
find herself staring right into her other friend's grinning face.
Looking at her expectantly, Yuka begged, "Come on, Akane, be nice and tell
us something!"
"Something," Akane grumbled in return.
"Oh, you're not getting away that easily!" the other two girls cried out as
they dogpiled their friend, tickling her sides.
Akane squirmed in their grasp, trying to get out... but the girls were
persistent, to say the least. That particular battle had been lost to her
before it even started.
"Okay, okay... I give up!" Akane managed to get out between fits of
laughter.
Sitting up when her friends released her, Akane wiped the tears off her
eyes, and looked at Yuka and Sayuri. The girls were sitting at her sides,
giving her their utmost attention. Akane idly noted that she had never seen
them that awake in class.
"Come on, don't make us wait for all the juicy details!" Sayuri demanded
with a mock-fierce expression on her face.
Making placating gestures with her hands, Akane sighed and looked down,
studying the grass they were sitting on closely.
"Where to begin..."
"At the beginning, where else?!" Yuka helpfully added, which earned her a
glare from Sayuri.
"Don't interrupt her!"
"And I suppose you're any better?"
"Why you..."
Having had enough of her friends' bickering, especially since they had to
all but shout in her ears to communicate, Akane leveled first Yuka and then
Sayuri with a glare.
"That will be enough," she scolded them.
The scowls on her friends' faces disappeared, only to be replaced by
lecherous grins a moment later. Akane suppressed the urge to groan at the
injustice of it all.
"All right, I'll tell you what happened."
Lying back on the ground, Akane traced the grass with the back of her right
hand, savoring the pleasant feeling.
"One day, Ranma just appeared... inside my house, no less! And he's been
acting all perverted, just like all of the gods really are..."
"Are you serious? Since when are gods perverted?" Yuka asked her friend
incredulously. And then, realization hit her. "Or did you..."
"... actually listen to Principal Kuno?" Sayuri finished the sentence.
Both girls looked at each other, before erupting into fits of giggles.
Annoyed at their antics, Akane sat up.
"Principal Kuno is a very wise man!" Akane shot at her friends angrily,
watching with no small amount of irritation as they collapsed onto their
backs, laughing even harder.
"Hmph! Besides, I have known how perverted gods were ever since I was
little!"
Yuka and Sayuri calmed down, and sat again to stare at Akane
sympathetically.
"Do you mean that you have been molested by a god when you were young?" Yuka
asked Akane with no small amount of empathy.
"You poor thing," Sayuri added, moving towards Akane to envelop her in a
hug.
"That's not it!" Akane screamed in indignation, blushing furiously.
"Then... was it a goddess?" Sayuri asked in shock.
"No! No! No!" Akane screamed at her friends, shaking her head furiously. "I
never even met a god before Ranma!"
Yuka and Sayuri looked at Akane, blinking synchronously.
"Then how do you know so much about them? Why do you think all gods are
perverts?" they asked together.
"I... I just know, alright?" Akane replied in irritation, looking away. It
was just too embarrassing to say!
Looking at Sayuri questioningly, Yuka shrugged and the girls started bugging
Akane for all the juicy details about Ranma once more.
--------------------------------------------------
"Here's some tea for you, Miss Urd," Kasumi said pleasantly, holding out a
steaming cup for the goddess.
"Thanks a bunch, Kiddo," Urd replied casually, taking the tea while
directing a playful smile and a wink at the eldest Tendo daughter. "And
don't get all formal with me. Just call me Urd."
Passing by the kitchen, Akane froze at the goddess's shameless flirting.
"Don't get too familiar with my sister, you slut!" Akane accused Urd
immediately, stomping over to the two to protect her older, innocent sister
from divine perversion. "I know how all of you gods think! Don't even dare
trying anything like that with Kasumi!"
Frowning, Urd pointed her index finger at Akane and zapped her, not
bothering to reply.
Covering her mouth with her hands in shock, Kasumi exclaimed, "Oh my!" and
rushed over to her charred sister. After checking to see that Akane was all
right, she immediately glared at the goddess that was blowing imaginary
smoke off her finger.
"Hey, don't worry 'bout her!" Urd lazily said, waving her hand dismissively.
"I only used a small amount of power. She'll be back to her angry self in no
time!"
"How can you be so casual about this?!" Kasumi exclaimed, frowning at Urd
disapprovingly.
"I just talked with my other sisters a few minutes ago," Urd replied,
walking towards Kasumi and Akane. "They told me that hitting guests on their
heads with a table isn't the custom in these parts."
Urd's voice wasn't raised, but there was something about it which made
Kasumi more and more apprehensive with every step the goddess took in their
direction.
"But... the Ultimate Force..."
"Restricts only Ranma. Not that it'd matter with me." Urd said, the smile on
her face not quite reaching her eyes. "Ranma's naive and forgiving. I'm not.
Don't you mortals ever make that mistake with me."
Looking down at the prone form of her sister, Kasumi said slowly, "I... I
know Akane should have more control... and that she isn't the nicest person
in the world..."
The eldest Tendo daughter raised her head to look Urd right in her eyes.
"But she is my sister and I can't let anyone harm her. Please... please stop
this!"
Urd sighed and nudged Kasumi out of the way, casting a simple healing spell
over Akane.
"Yeah, whatever. I'll let the slight against me go... for now," she said,
turning around and walking away.
Looking at Urd's retreating form, Kasumi asked impulsively, "Then why did
you shoot my sister in the first place, instead of stopping her peacefully?"
Urd stopped. Without turning back, she threw over her shoulder, "She hurt
Ranma. I love him... as a brother. And I can't let anyone push him around
like that."
--------------------------------------------------
Akane woke up to a nice, warm sensation covering her entire body. She moaned
softly, stretching out, before suddenly remembering that the last thing
she'd seen was that no-good goddess.
Shaking in righteous female fury, Akane rose out of the furo, determined to
punish Urd for trying to have her perverted way with her. Honestly! Couldn't
that bimbo take no for an answer?!
Akane still occasionally had nightmares when all those gods would chase her
to try and seduce her, only to pull her into one of their incestuous - or
worse - orgies. In retrospect, perhaps rummaging at the attic through her
father's old scrolls... scrolls that were left from his training journey
before he had met her mother... might have been a mistake... but she really
wanted to become the best martial artist in the world! And her father did
say that they were advanced divine martial arts scrolls. The title even said
so! How was a seven-year-old child supposed to know the difference?
And it wasn't just those scrolls! Mr. Kuno was right! All those gods really
were just perverted bums! Sleeping with each other discriminately was just
the tip of the iceberg, no doubt. And that sluttish self-proclaimed goddess
of love wasn't any different.
Midway through her righteous rant, Akane noticed that the water in the furo
was bubbling. Just as she discovered that fact, a petite goddess shot out of
a portal that opened in the midst of all the water, coming to hover next to
Akane. In fact, the goddess' nose was almost brushing against Akane's left
breast.
Shaking even stronger than before, Akane slowly lowered her eyes to look at
the young goddess, who was glancing at her curiously in return.
'It can't be! They must be born perverted or something!'
And then, Skuld sneezed, accidentally thrusting her head into the crevice
between Akane's breasts.
--------------------------------------------------
A loud enraged cry sounded from the general direction of the furo, startling
everyone in the Tendo residence. Kasumi and Ranma were immediately on their
feet and going towards the source of the sound to find out what was wrong,
when a blur shot past them.
Sliding the door open with enough force to drive it off its hinges, Soun
Tendo ran into the bathroom in his old samurai armor to protect his little
baby girl. His spear held high to smite any who dared assault his sweet,
innocent Akane, Soun took stock of the bathroom...
And immediately dropped the weapon from his suddenly limp fingers.
Tears of pride streamed down his cheeks, as he babbled happily, "Oh, how my
baby girl has grown!"
Ranma and Kasumi finally reached the furo at that point. The pigtailed god's
mouth dropped and he couldn't help but stare at the scene. After a few
seconds, Kasumi managed to tear her eyes away from the spectacle and covered
Ranma's face with her hand, blushing furiously.
"So who's perverted now, huh?" Urd lazily asked from the doorway, drawn by
Akane's cry as well.
The Norn of the Past smirked when she noticed the middle Tendo daughter,
Nabiki, fiddle with her camera.
"I... she..." Akane stammered in shock, not even thinking to cover herself
up.
"Don't you think that girl is too young for this, Akane?" Kasumi asked
disapprovingly, looking sternly at the furiously blushing girls in the furo.
"Nah, she's probably older than your old man," Urd commented, smiling as
Skuld's expression turned into rage.
"You are a fine one to talk, you hag!" the young goddess shot back angrily,
jumping out of the water and brandishing her mallet.
Urd's eyebrow twitched at the insult, and she readied a spell in return.
"Please, stop this!" Ranma exclaimed, jumping between the two sisters.
A mallet and a lightning bolt hit him from both sides, closely followed by
two bombs. When the smoke cleared, Ranma's charred form turned towards
Skuld.
Frowning, Ranma dusted himself off and said, "You threw those bombs on
purpose, didn't you?"
The Norn of the Future tried to lie, but found it nearly impossible when
looking into the pigtailed god's expressive gray-blue eyes. She opted for
bowing her head in shame and muttering an apology.
Ranma nodded at that, and smiled sunnily. Orchid petals appeared out of
nowhere and swirled around the room, taking care of all the damage caused to
it and decorating the bathroom with bouquets of flowers at the same time.
Nabiki dropped her camera in surprise, and Soun just stared dumbly at the
orchids that sprouted from his armor. Ranma smiled serenely one more time,
and plucked one of them gently before presenting it to Kasumi with a nervous
chuckle. The eldest Tendo girl blushed and took the proffered flower,
thanking Ranma.
>From the side, Urd saw Ranma's eyes almost glaze over when Kasumi beamed at
him radiantly, and suppressed a groan. She wasn't making any progress, and
now there would be Skuld to worry about as well. Whose side was the little
brat on, anyway?
--------------------------------------------------
End of Chapter 2.
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