Ryoko Saotome's Tales: New Fan Fic List - http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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   "Bring back my mirror!!" Happosaid wailed, chasing
after Shampoo on her bike.
   "What're they up to?" Ukyou asked herself, stepping
outside of the Ucchan's to watch the chase.
   "Shampoo no can do!" Shampoo said cheerfully. 
"Mirror is Amazon treasure!"
   "It's mine!" Happosai protested.  "I stole it fair
and square."
   "Well Shampoo steal fair and square back then!"
Shampoo biihed the old pervert.
   "Amazon treasure, eh?" Ukyou said, she turned back
to face the store.  "Konatsu could you watch the store
for me a bit?"
   "Hai, Ukyou-sama," Konatsu said.  Ukyou stepped
outside to join the chase.

******

   Ryouga stretched as he woke up.  Blinking he
glanced around his campsite and thought about which
direction would be the best to travel in order to find
Akane and protect her from Ranma.
   He turned around in time to see Shampoo bearing
down on him.  Luckily Shampoo saw him in time to
divert her path away from him, and into a nearby
puddle.
   Next thing Ryouga knew, he was a pig caught in a
bundle of clothes getting dragged by the Amazon's
bike.

******

   Shampoo shook her head in disgust as she thought
about how she had finally managed to divert the
perverted old gnome from following her.  Of all the
techniques she knew she had to resort to altering THAT
one.  At least it had worked, but she hoped no one
ever heard about it.
   Imagine if it got out that an Amazon had stooped to
pointing and shouting.  "Look it Jenny McCarthy!"
   "At least now Shampoo go back in time and stop
Panda-man from engaging Airen to other girls!" Shampoo
boasted.  Shampoo pulled out an onion and cut it,
squeezing the juice into her eyes.
   "Hold on, Sugar!" Ukyou shouted as the mirror's
portal opened.  "You ain't cutting me out that easy!!"
   "Where you come from!" Shampoo shouted, before
waiting for an answer she pedaled as fast as she could
into the portal.  Curiously enough the portal opening
sounding curiously like "bwee."

******

   Shampoo almost stopped when she realized where the
portal had taken her as she lost focus on her target. 
The valley, the poles, and the springs.  Most
definitely the springs.
   "Where the hell are we!?" Ukyou shouted from behind
her.  Shampoo immediately started pedalling again. 
"Hey come back here with that mirror!"
   "Bye bye Spatula-girl!" Shampoo laughed looking
back.  As she did, the bundle of cloth and pig caught
on her bike seat finally caught in her bike spokes. 
"AAIIEE!!"
   "BWEE--erk!"   
   Shampoo was sent tumbling forward toward the
ground.  The Amazon barely stopped herself from
falling into a pool.
   Ukyou reached the bike and couldn't help stopping a
moment to laugh at the Amazon as Shampoo sat catching
her breath at the near disaster.
   "I thought you were going bye bye," Ukyou
snickered.  Shampoo smiled evilly as she considered
that Ukyou obviously had no idea where they were.  She
tucked the mirror into her pant suit and turned to
face Ukyou, face angry again.
   "Stupid spatula-girl!" she snapped.  "Now Shampoo
lose mirror in pool!!"
   "WHAT!?" Ukyou demanded.
   "We stuck here!" Shampoo snapped.  "Now
Violent-Girl only have to beat Rose-girl!"
   Meanwhile Ryouga had found his way out of his
clothes finally, and was wishing that his pig form and
even a quarter of his normal resilience.  At least he
would be, if he weren't so punch drunk that coherent
thought were nigh impossible.
   "Why didn't you go in after it?" Ukyou demanded. 
Ryouga's gaze caught on the overall view and the shock
of where he was snapped him out of his daze.
   ~Because this is JUSENKYO,~ Ryouga wanted to shout.
 Instead it was merely.  "BWEE!!"  Ukyou looked down.
   "Oh look who you brought along for company, sugar,"
Ukyou snapped irritably.  "Ain't that a kick, stuck
who knows where with Akane's pet pig.  Now why aren't
you going in after the damn mirror?!"
   "Spatula-girl think cat can grab mirror?" Shampoo
asked.  "You go in after mirror!"
   "BweeBwee!" Ryouga squealed, frantically trying to
stop Ukyou.
   "Fine!" Ukyou growled.  She shucked off her outer
clothes and bandolier and then paused.  This resulted
in Ryouga ceasing his attempts to warn her, mostly
because he had fainted.  "Aren't you worried about me
using it and leaving you back here?"
   "Spatula-girl no how use mirror?" Shampoo asked. 
Ukyou paused a moment.  The Amazon glanced at the pig
and smirked.  ~Two pains for price of one.  Stupid
Lost-Boy do nothing but mess up and get in way.~
   "I see your point, Sugar," Ukyou said, she took a
deep breath and dived into the pool, catching sight of
a teenager running towards them, but dismissing the
site.
   As soon as Ukyou hit the water she knew something
was wrong.  She felt a sort of tingle run down her
entire body.  Somehow the pool felt much larger than
it had appeared before.  Then there was the way that
everything seemed to be grey, but that might just have
been the darkness.
   Whatever it was, it spooked Ukyou enough to surface
early and catch her breath.  She came up in the middle
of what seemed to be a lake in time to see the mirror
portal closing.  Ukyou growled as she fought to tread
water in the inexplicably large lake.
   "YIP!" Ukyou blinked and considered the sound that
she had apparently just made.  
   The teenager she had seen earlier was fishing her
out of the pool with a net.  The young man was huge to
her eyes, and everything was still grey.  He was
saying something in Chinese, but she wasn't hearing it
even if she could understand.
   Ukyou was still in shock as she, P-Chan and her
clothes were gathered up by the teenager, and they
were carried away.

******

   Shampoo chuckled as she returned to where she had
been when Ukyou had disrupted her trip.  Now she could
do it right.  She got the onions ready again and...
   "Ha!" Happosai chuckled as he held the mirror in
his hand.  "Thought you could fool me with the old
Jenny McCarthy fake did you?"
   "You give Shampoo back mirror!" Shampoo demanded. 
She lunged forward at the pervert.
   "I don't think..." Happosai started, before
slipping on a orange-spotted bandanna.  "Whoops!" 
   Shampoo watched in horror as the mirror flew out of
Happosai's hand and shattered against the pavement.
   "Oh well," Happosai said.  "That makes another time
its been broken.  No big loss."
   "Stupid pervert!" Shampoo shouted.  "You ruin
Shampoo life with Airen!"  And Shampoo proceeded to
take out her frustrations on Happosai.

******

   "When I get my hands on that little bitch," Ukyou
growled, pacing back and forth.  The okonomiyaki chef
was doing her vengence bit in front of two very silent
teenaged boys.  
   The Chinese boy was marked on one side of his face
by a red handprint.  Ryouga had two such handprints
and what sounds he did make were an octave higher than
normal.  Ukyou's reaction to discovering who P-Chan,
on top of everything else, was rather...extreme.
   <What is she saying now?> the Chinese boy asked
Ryouga.
   <She's talking about the girl that cursed her,>
Ryouga said, squeaking.
   <Oh, so she's making sense now?> the boy asked. 
Ryouga nodded.
   <Yep, maybe she'll calm down enough to tell me how
we got here,> Ryouga said.  <Hey, what happened to the
old guide and his daughter?>
   "I don't know what you're talking about," the guide
said.  "My father is visiting the Joketsuzoku, but I
do not have a sister."
   "SPEAK SO I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU!!" Ukyou shouted. 
"Or I'm going to flatten you both into pervert
okonomiyaki!"
   <I think I should start teaching you some
Japanese,> Ryouga whispered to the other teenager.
   "HEY!" Ukyou snapped.
   "Ummm...Ukyou," Ryouga started.  "You're freaking
out."
   "Gee, I wonder why," Ukyou said sarcastically.  She
pointed out at the pools.  "I just JUMPED into a
fucking Jusenkyo pool.  I changed into
a...a...a...what did I change into?"
   "A fox," Ryouga said nervously.
   "A FOX!!" Ukyou shouted.  "I changed into a FOX!!
And the bad part is...THAT SOUNDS LIKE A
COMPLIMENT!!!"
   "What?" Ryouga asked.
   "To top it all off," Ukyou continued.  "I'm
stick..."
   "Stick?" Ryouga repeated confusedly.
   "STUCK!!!" Ukyou shouted.  "I'm stuck in who knows
WHAT time, at JUSENKYO, with YOU!!"  Ukyou blinked.
   "Its about three o'clock in the afternoon," Ryouga
said.
   "That's not what I meant," Ukyou snapped, but
calmed down.  "Ryouga, can you ask him where the
Nyannichuan is?"
   "Just read the signs," Ryouga said.  He drew some
symbols in the ground.  "It'll look like that.  If you
find the Nannichuan it'll look like this."  He drew
another set of symbols.  
   "Yeah, might as well make sure my translator
doesn't get eaten for dinner," Ukyou said as she
scanned the symbols.  Then she ran outside.
   <Is she looking for the Spring of Drowned Girl?>
the Chinese kid asked.
   <Yeah, makes sense doesn't it?> Ryouga asked.
   <She shouldn't do that,> the to-be Guide answered. 
<Those springs don't cure, only curse.  It would be a
pretty weak curse if the cure was so easy.>
   <Uhh, what could happen> Ryouga asked,
sweatdropping.
   "SHIMATTA!!!" Ukyou shouted from outside.
   <How do you think so many werecreature stories
start?> the guide asked.

******

   "You didn't have to splash me too," Ryouga said.
   "If I have to worry about monster hunters," Ukyou
snapped.  "So do you.  Be glad I bothered to use the
right gender."
   "Yeah," Ryouga said, sweatdropping.
   "Okay, ummm, Ukyou," Ryouga ventured.  "I need to
ask something.
   "What?" Ukyou asked angrily.
   "How did we get here?" Ryouga said after a moment.
   "Shampoo used some sort of magic mirror to travel
through time," Ukyou snapped.  "She's probably made
sure that she gets Ranma by now."
   "Time travel?" Ryouga swallowed, and turned to the
Chinese man.  <Ummm...What year is this?>  Ryouga
sighed at the answer.
   "I got it," Ukyou snapped.  "We go find that cave
Happosai's trapped in and get the mirror and make all
this so that it never happened.  Stop Shampoo from
using it.  Of course then Happosai has to be born."
   "He is," Ryouga said, translating the Chinese year
to the western year more often used in Japan of his
time.  "It's 1981."
   "Damn," Ukyou said.  "I could be Ranchan's mother."
 She shivered.  "Okay, to Japan then, and Happosai. 
But first I gotta go kill an Amazon."
   "Shampoo's not born yet," Ryouga reminded her
hesitantly.  "Kill her when we get back."
   "Uh, right, Japan!" Ukyou stomped out of the shack.
 Ryouga, afraid to be left behind and lost, jumped and
followed after her.
   <Have to make sure she doesn't get herself killed,>
Ryouga shouted back.  <Bye, and try to learn Japanese,
you're going to need it.>

******

   The two figures that pulled themselves up onto the
beach were odd to say the least.  It wasn't often that
one saw a fox-girl gasping for breath on a beach at
midnight while a pig-boy did some light calisthenics.
   "Ranma did it," Ukyou said.  "I just...gasp...had
to try it too...pant..."
   "Are you okay?" Ryouga asked.  Ukyou lurched to her
feet and tried to ignore the lightheadness.
   "I'm fine," Ukyou said.  Her ears and tail twitched
in time to her blinking eyes before exhaustion caught
up with her and she fell back to the ground flat on
her face.
   "Ukyou!" Ryouga gasped and moved to check her.  He
found, much to his relief, that she was just fainted. 

   Then came the next problem, he didn't have his
camping equipment with him, and Ukyou hadn't given him
time to get some new stuff.  Which meant that he
couldn't just whip up some hot water.  He looked up
the land a little and saw some lights.  Nodding he
reached down to pick up Ukyou and carry her on his
back as he travelled to the shack.
   Upon reaching the shack he knocked on the door. 
After several moments the door started to open.
   "Excuse me, could we have some...."
   "MONSTERS!!!" the man shouted, and suddenly Ryouga
found himself facing a shotgun from the wrong end. 
The pig-boy immediately took off running.

******

   Ryouga stopped running much later, after snagging
an unattended kettle from the town he ran through.  He
was in the middle of a thicket somewhere, and the
sound of pursuit was long gone.
   "Oh good, we're safe," Ryouga said.  "Now just need
some hot water and maybe we'll be able to buy some..."

   Ryouga frowned as he realized that Ukyou hadn't
woken up the entire time of being chased by crazy
locals.
   "Ukyou?" Ryouga asked, he set her gently to the
ground and turned to look at her.   Pulling his hands
back he found them covered with blood and would have
paled, if he had been human at the time.
   Ryouga checked her pulse and found it weak, then
gently turned her over to find a large blood spot
radiating out from her shoulder.  Ryouga almost turned
to find his backpack when he realized that he didn't
have it.  There was another remedy, though.
   Ryouga began heating some water.

******

   "Hey what happened to the beach?" Ukyou asked
wearily, looking around.  "And why does my shoulder
hurt so much?"
   "UKYOU!!  You're awake!!" Ryouga shouted.  Ukyou
turned to him and blinked.
   "Ryouga, what are you talking about?" Ukyou asked
staring around.  "Where are we?"
   "You've been mostly unconscious for days," Ryouga
said, moving forward to check her over.  "And that's
with changing you back and forth a lot."  Ukyou looked
down and noticed that she was human.  She felt really
tired still, however.
   "Was I that tired?" Ukyou asked, blinking.
   "Well, you got shot," Ryouga said, embarrassed.  
   "Huh?"
   "We sort of got chased by lunatics with guns,"
Ryouga said.  "That's how we got here."  Ukyou looked
around and noticed the beginnings of a small cabin.
   "Planning to stay long, Sugar?" Ukyou asked.
   "You need to recover before we go looking for
Happosai," Ryouga said.  "I've had to force feed you
the last couple of days, and after everything else you
have to be pretty weak.  And then you'll need to train
if you want to fight Happosai." Ukyou had to admit
that she did feel really weak.  She arched an eyebrow
at the last comment though.
   "You planning on teaching me, Sugar?" she asked.
   "Well nobody else is around to do it," Ryouga said.
   "Just don't get any ideas," Ukyou said.
   "What ideas?" Ryouga asked seriously, eliciting a
growl from Ukyou.

******

   "I don't need help walking," Ukyou protested.  She
shook him off and proved it, though she was still a
little shaky.  
   The rest and food had done a lot, now she could do
some exercise to get back to full.  She looked at the
cabin Ryouga was building and was impressed that he
had gotten it that near to completion already.
   "Why don't you just work on that shack?" Ukyou
asked as she started walking in a circle to get her
blood working.  "If I need help you'll see me fall."
   "Are you certain?" Ryouga asked, following her
carefully.
   "Yeah, I'm fine," Ukyou insisted, smiling at him to
reassure him.  "I gotta work on this myself, Sugar."
   "Right," Ryouga said smiling.

******

   "What's that?" Ryouga asked.
   "Just a doodle," Ukyou said, shrugging.
   "It looks like the spiral pattern," Ryouga said.
   "Yeah," Ukyou said.  "It sort of does."

******

   "Wait! Wait!" Ukyou gasped, and Ryouga stopped the
spar to allow her to catch her breath.  "Whew, this is
a good workout."
   "Yeah, you're getting a lot better," Ryouga said. 
"I'll bet you could do that swim and only have to
spend a month recovering this time."  He smirked.
   "Hey, hey," Ukyou protested.  "It was the getting
shot and the blood loss, not the swim."
   "Well the swim, plus the injury, plus the poor
nutrition for almost a week," Ryouga said.
   "I think its time to go after Happosai now," Ukyou
said.  Ryouga frowned.
   "What?" Ukyou guessed.  "Come on, Ryouga, we've
been here, what, half a year?  I'm more than three
times as good as I was, you're better too I think."
   "Why not add a surprise or two to your arsenal,"
Ryouga smirked, holding up his pointer finger.  Ukyou
arched an eyebrow.

******

   "No, no," Ukyou said.  "I swear it was like this." 
She started moving.
   "How many times have you been caught in it?" Ryouga
asked.  "Ranma does it this way."
   "Masaka," Ukyou sighed.  "We'll never get this
figured out."

******

   "That's enough for today," Ryouga said, almost
pleading.
   "I almost got it," Ukyou slurred.
   "Ukyou, you're concussed," Ryouga said.  "You have
to slow down a little.  Jumping right into the Baksai
Tenketsu without much else body hardening is not a
good idea."
   "Come on, it ain't so hard," Ukyou said, blinking. 
"Give it one more go Ryo-chan!  I'm sure you'll get
it!"  Ryouga blushed at the familiar as he untied
Ukyou and sat her down.  Now he had to watch to make
sure she didn't go to sleep.
   "You're the one training, Ukyou," Ryouga reminded
her.
   "Oh...sright," Ukyou said.  "How many more we got
to do?"  Ryouga wondered if he was this much trouble
for Cologne and Akane.

******

   "And a step like this," Ukyou said, still a little
punch drunk.  "And then like that, and that."  She
giggled.
   "Ukyou, don't you think you..." Ryouga stopped and
watched Ukyou's "dancing."  "THAT'S IT!!"

******

   "BAKSAI TENKETSU!" Ukyou shouted, and the rock
ahead of her exploded.  "YATTA!! I did it!"  Ukyou
whooped and shook out of her restraints.
   "Wow, it only took you a week," Ryouga said as
Ukyou virtually danced over to him and hugged the
Lost-Boy.
   "Hey!  Not everyone is like you and Ranma," Ukyou
said, slapping his shoulder playfully.
   "Hey, I'm serious," Ryouga said.  "I was already
tough when I started."
   "Okay, now we find Happosai and get that mirror,"
Ukyou said.
   "Umm, I think we still need some training for
that," Ryouga said, imagining a gang of crazies with
guns more than a perverted martial arts master. 
Though with the baksai tenketsu such was unlikely to
be much of a threat to her.
   "What, I used to handle him all the time before all
this," Ukyou protested.  "I can handle him now."
   "Well what about Shampoo then," Ryouga asked. 
"Don't want to totally overwhelm her the next time you
see her?"
   "And I can't now?" Ukyou asked.  "If I have
problems, all I need to do is find some cold water."
   "You don't think Cologne teaches all these things
to me and Ranma, and doesn't teach them to Shampoo, do
you?" Ryouga said.  Ukyou thought about that, and
frowned.
   "You're just hoping to get me in the sack," Ukyou
said jokingly.

******

   "Shi Shi Hokodan!" Ukyou shouted.  A thin green
beam shot out of her hands and charred the tree trunk
in front of her.
   "Not depressed enough I guess," Ryouga said.
   "Yeah, what do I have to be depressed about?" Ukyou
asked.  "I'm stuck in the woods with an Jackass who
gets lost for two weeks at a time."
   "Hey, I haven't been so bad recently," Ryouga
retorted.
   "That's because I rarely let you out of my sight,
Ryochan," Ukyou smirked.  Ryouga blinked and then
smiled.  "What?"
   "I got an idea," Ryouga said.  "Maybe you should
try a different emotion."

******

   "You think I'm a control freak!" Ukyou shouted.
   "No, no," Ryouga tried to molify her.  "I just
think you like to have everything planned out is all."
   "So you're saying I'm not spontaneous?" Ukyou
growled.
   "Well, ummm..." Ryouga didn't get in further as
Ukyou grabbed him and then kissed him thoroughly.
   "Is that spontaneous enough for you, pig boy?"
Ukyou asked coquetishly, then growled as she realized
Ryouga had fainted.

******

   "KONTON SUTERU!!!" Ukyou shouted, sending a chaotic
swirl of orange chi into the hill side.  She turned
and smirked at Ryouga.  "Did it."
   "Yep, Chaos Rejection," Ryouga nodded.  "I knew you
were a control freak."
   "I'm not even gonna to respond to that," Ukyou
said.  "Because NOW we are going to go find Happosai."
   "Want to try the spiral first?" Ryouga asked.
   "We need someone to try to kill us," Ukyou snapped.
 "And I don't think you'd try to kill me, and I don't
feel like taking a ride by tornado, no thank you." 
~Besides, I'm not sure I could go full out against you
either.~
   "I was just thinking about trying to get the steps
down," Ryouga said.  Ukyou thought about it a moment.
   "Okay, one time," Ukyou said.  "Then tomorrow we go
find Happosai and get that mirror."
   "So you want to be the attacker this time or me?"
Ryouga asked.
   "You attack," Ukyou said, facing off against him,
getting ready to dance the spiral.  She was virtually
high on euphoria from her first real chi attack. 
Ryouga was practically glowing himself as they moved
into the spiral kata, auras mixing and magnifying
their feelings through each other.

******

   Ukyou woke up outside of the cabin on the ground
and yawned.  Her hand whipped out and smacked
into...someone.  
    "Just a few more minutes," Ryouga mumbled.  Ukyou
froze and took stock of her situation.  Nude, next to
Ryouga, also nude, clothes strewn about.
   "Umm, Ryouga," Ukyou said hesitantly.
   "What is it Ukyou, I'm tired," Ryouga said.  "Weird
dream last night."
   "Does it involve us getting to the center of the
spiral and making out like cats in heat?" Ukyou asked.
   "Actually, yes," Ryouga said, nervously.  He
cracked open his eyes and saw the naked girl next to
him.  "AAAHHHH!!"

******

   "A quick stop at the doctor's," Ryouga said.  "We
don't have any idea where we're going anyway."
   "Of course not, you get us lost all the time,"
Ukyou snapped.
   "Don't change the subject," Ryouga said.
   "I tell you, I'm fine," Ukyou said.  "I just caught
a cold or something."
   "You've had this cold a long time now," Ryouga
said.  "What if it's something serious."
   "You've spent too much time being my nurse maid,"
Ukyou muttered.  "Do we have money for a motel?" 
Ryouga stopped and checked.
   "Maybe one room," Ryouga said, meaningfully.
   "Can you control your hormones?" Ukyou asked. 
Ryouga wanted to ask if she could, but decided he
didn't want to die.
   "I think so," Ryouga said.
   "Good, cause I'm tired," Ukyou sighed.

******

   "I thought you said you could control your
hormones," Ukyou said the next morning.
   "I remember someone jumping into the shower with
me," Ryouga noted, then snorted.  Ukyou growled and
crossed her arms.

******

   "It's the house," Ukyou said, blinking.
   "Yeah, it's a house," Ryouga said.  "Well, cabin
anyway, it looks familiar."
   "That's because its our house," Ukyou said, dryly. 
"Two months of travelling and you take us all the way
back here!"
   "Well, why didn't you make sure I didn't get us
lost?" Ryouga asked.
   "I've been distracted," Ukyou snapped.  "We should
stay here tonight, but we should find somewhere to
stay near a hospital soon."  Ukyou grimaced as she
realized what she had just said.
   "Somewhere to stay?  I thought you wanted to find
Happosai and get that mirror," Ryouga said.  "We have
to find Genma or Soun for that."
   "Well," Ukyou hesitated, confusing Ryouga as to how
she suddenly switched into nervous from irritated. 
"I'm sort of...uh late."
   "Early is more like it," Ryouga said.  "We're not
even born yet."
   "No, Ryochan," Ukyou continued reluctantly.  "I've
sort of missed my period...um twice now."
   "Uhhh..." Ryouga blinked, and then fainted.
   "He took that better than I thought," Ukyou said.

******

   "You're not serious."
   "Do I look like I'm joking?"
   "You want to get married?"
   "Might as well, all that's missing is the license
by this point."
   "Good point.  Well, ummm, yes, Ucchan, I will marry
you."
   "I thought you'd see it my way."
   "When should we do it?"
   "How about tomorrow?" Ukyou smiled.
   "Uhhhh...." Ryouga hesitated, until he felt Ukyou's
aura change and saw the smile tighten.  "Sure."
   "So, ready to become Kuonji Ryouga?"
   "What?!"

******

   "Tough week, Ryochan?" Ukyou asked as Ryouga limped
into the apartment after one of his expected absenses.
   "Crazy hillbillies with guns," Ryouga muttered.
   "You're bullet proof, dear," Ukyou said, smirking
at the term.
   "Grenade launchers," Ryouga muttered.  Ukyou stared
at him a little shocked.
   "...Oh"
   "You?"
   "Someone tried to exorcise me," Ukyou frowned.  
   "Oh, you didn't kill him did you?" Ryouga asked,
Ukyou shook her head.  He handed her the money he had
made on his trip.  "Have any problems."
   "I bought a portable grill a couple of days ago,
been making something of killing," Ukyou said.  "I'm
not a helpless little housewife without a means to
make a living you know.  By the way, you ever thought
about teaching martial arts rather than doing odd
jobs?"
   "Umm...no," Ryouga said.  Ukyou was digging through
his travelling bags.
   "You forgot the strawberries," Ukyou grumbled. 
Ryouga sweatdropped.

******

   "Okay," Ukyou said.  "I got it.  How's this.  If
its a boy, Ranma.  If its a girl, Akane.  Is that
good?"
   "Fine," Ryouga said.

******

   "I'm going to kill you Ryouga!" Ukyou shouted.  "I
swear, I'm going to rip your baksai tenketsu-ed throat
out!"
   "Don't worry," the nurse said.  "They all say
that."
   "Fucking twins!  You bastard!" Ukyou continued. 
Ryouga would have apologized but his speech was
hampered by the manner in which his arm was twisted.

******

   Genma was desperate.  Nodoka was still unconscious,
but at least they had managed to save her.  The baby,
however, had been born dead, and now it seemed that
Nodoka would never be able to bear children again.
   "What to do, what to do," Genma muttered, pacing in
front of the nursery.  At least he had convinced the
doctors to let him break the news to her.
   He watched the nurses come in with a pair of twins
and placed them in an incubator.  The sound of
footsteps and the approach of a strong aura inspired
Genma, already on the path to questionable decisions,
used a recently developed technique to make himself
invisible.  A young man walked down the hallway to
stop in front of the babies with a nurse and look at
the twins
   "Are they okay?" the young man asked.  "They look
so small."
   "Twins are often born prematurely sir," the nurse
assured him.  "There is some danger, but they should
be fine."
   "Oh good," the young man sighed in relief.  Genma
made a decision.  Genma waited for an opportunity and
then snuck into the nursery to take a look at the
twins.  A boy and a girl.  He checked the names.  As
he saw the boy's name it was as if fate had stepped
in.

******

   A doctor appeared in the doorway and cleared his
throat.  Ryouga frowned and looked down at Ukyou, who
glanced at him nervously.
   "Bad news," Ukyou whispered, voice full of dread.
   "Do you want to hear this?" Ryouga asked.  Ukyou
sighed and nodded.
   "Sir, if I could speak to you out..." the doctor
started.
   "Don't try to hide anything from me," Ukyou said. 
"What's wrong."  The doctor looked at her nervously,
remembering what he had seen when the couple was
accidentally splashed earlier.
   "Your son, did not survive," the doctor said. 
Ukyou immediately broke down and clutched at Ryouga
crying heavily.  Ryouga was crying himself as he
comforted his tired wife.

******

   "The doctors would not tell me anything," Nodoka
said as Genma wheeled her out of the hospital.  "What
of our child."
   "He's already at the house, No-chan," Genma assured
her.
   "Have you choose a name for our son?" Nodoka asked,
now much more relaxed.
   "Yes," Genma said, feeling sick.  "His name is
Ranma."  ~And that is the last time I use those
techniques, the Umisen and Yamasen are sealed.~

******

   Ukyou heard the phone ring and looked up from
changing Akane to ensure that Ryouga reached the
phone.  His sense of direction had gotten a lot better
since they had settled down.  He still got lost, but
it was generally only a matter of hours and not days
now.
   Ukyou often regretted not going for the mirror
immediately.  Especially now after having to live
through the loss of one of her children.  Ryouga was
obviously concerned about her mental well being.  He
watched her closely all the time.  Still, even if she
wanted to, it was far too late to correct what Shampoo
had done to them.
   Ukyou turned her attention back to Akane and
smiled.  She was amazed at the girl's shock of red
hair, so much like her fur as a fox-woman.  And
already Kuonji Akane was displaying a stubborn streak
reminiscent of Ryouga's.  Something of the pig in them
perhaps.
   Ukyou frowned as she sensed a palpable shift in
Ryouga's aura.  She finished Akane's diaper and looked
up.
   "Something wrong?" Ukyou asked.  Ryouga looked at
her.
   "Ranma didn't die," Ryouga said.  Ukyou narrowed
her eyes.  "Someone switched out a dead maybe for
him."
   "Someone stole our child!" Ukyou growled.  Ryouga
nodded.  She looked down at Akane.  "We'll just have
to find him, won't we."

******

   "We found something," Ryouga said excitedly,
closing the door behind him.
   "Shhh," Ukyou said, .  "I just got Akane to sleep
and I want her to stay that way enough for rest in
both our cases.  She's a handful to keep track of and
you know it."
   "It's not my fault taking your name didn't protect
her from the Hibiki curse," Ryouga said.  Ukyou
frowned at him.
   "So what did you find?" Ukyou asked eagerly, she
looked down at her swollen stomach and sighed sadly. 
This time they would be more careful, much more
careful.
   "There were other people giving birth the same day
you were," Ryouga said grimmly.  "Including someone we
know."  Ukyou glared at him for drawing it out. 
"Nodoka Saotome."  Ukyou paled.
   "You mean, Ranma," Ukyou said.  "Our Ranma, is
Ranma!"  Ryouga nodded.
   "Yes," Ryouga said hesitantly.  "And by now he's on
that training trip with that miserable excuse for a
father."
   "We know when and where to find him though," Ukyou
growled.
   "At least we know why he was such a jerk," Ryouga
said.  Ukyou fixed him a look.
   "Don't call our son," Ukyou looked a little sick at
that comment.  "A jerk."

******

   "Well, took longer than I thought to get us free,"
Ukyou said.
   "Are we going to meet our brother now?" Nabiki
asked petulantly.  The browned haired girl bounced up
and down excitedly.
   At least they had agreed on what to name their
second set of twins without any quarrel.  Their name
choice was half fixation, and half joke on that
fixation.
   "Yes we are, honey," Ryouga said.  "As soon as your
older sister gets back from school."
   "Then we have a few days?" Kasumi put in dryly. 
Ukyou grimaced at the redheads honest observation.
   "Yes, that's about right," Ukyou sighed.

******

   Nodoka opened her door to a small family.  She
noted, with some trepidation, that they all resembled
her son to some degree.  Especially the eldest
daughter.  Excepting the fangs and hair style, she was
the spitting image her son's female form.
   "Saotome-san," the man asked.  Both him and his
wife were familiar as well, and for some reason she
couldn't quite grasp.  All five of them carried
themselves as martial artists.
   "Yes," Nodoka said.  She was not as stupid as Genma
had thought.  She had learned what the truth was in
time following Genma leaving with "their" son.  "Come
in, I've been expecting this day."

******

   Ranma was worried.  Ukyou had vanished over a month
ago, and Ryouga hadn't turned up as expected.  He felt
that he had lost something.  There was always
something about the two that he somewhat depended on
in a way.  Now they were gone.
   There was more to it than that though.  There was
something about the day which was setting Ranma's
alarm bells off.
   "I'm worried about her too," Akane said.
   "What makes you think..." Ranma stopped as Akane
stared at him.  "Yeah, I wish I knew what happened."
   "We should just beat it out of Shampoo," Akane
said.  "I know she had something to do with it."
   "I was thinking the same thing actually," Ranma
muttered.  Shampoo was acting very smug, and Ranma was
getting tired of her evasive answers to his questions
on whether she had seen Ukyou or Ryouga.
   "Excuse me," a girl asked.  Akane and Ranma turned
to see what appeared to be a fanged Ranma-chan.  "Do
you know where the Tendo-bathroom is?"  The girl asked
the question desperately.
   "Ryouga?  Did you fall into the nyannichuan?" Ranma
asked.
   "Huh?  You know my dad?" the strange girl asked.
   "Your dad?" Akane repeated.  "You got to be
kidding, Ryouga is our age!"
   "Ummm, can we talk about this later?" the girl
asked, shuffling and fidgetting uncomfortably.  "I
need to find a bathroom."
   "Uh sure," Akane said.  "There should be one in the
clinic."  The Ranma clone turned to look back and
sighed in relief.
   "Thank you," she said enthusiastically.  "I'm
Kuonji Akane.  Umm, if you could wait a minute here, I
think I'm going to need someone to lead me back to the
Tendo dojo."  She went into the clinic, a shocked
silent Tendo Akane and Ranma following her.

******

   "We're trying to find my brother," Kuonji Akane was
saying as they kept her, between the two of them,
directed toward the dojo.  "You see some jackass stole
him at birth.  So we're going to meet him for the very
first time, and he's supposed to be around here
somewhere.  Which is why we're at the Tendo dojo, my
family I mean.  And where is that again...Oh here it
is.  Hey, I never got your names?"
   "Akane, Ranma," Tendo Kasumi said quietly as she
walked out of the gate.  "We've been waiting for you."
   "Akane and Ranma!?" Kuonji Akane said.  "Wow! 
That's a cool coincidence.  My brother's name is
Ranma!"  Tendo Akane and Ranma sweatdropped.

******

   "Your not even related to me!!!"  Ranma shouted. 
Genma attempted some sort of protest, but before he
could open his mouth, Ranma was attacking him.
   Ukyou watched as Tendo Akane walked up to her and
Ryouga.  Akane looked at them nervously and took a
deep breath.
   "Ranma hasn't figured it out yet," Akane said.
   "Uhhh..." Ryouga sweated, until an elbow from his
wife put him back on track.  "How'd you guess?"
   "Actually," Akane blushed.  "I paid Nabiki to tell
me what's going on, I don't know how she figured it
out.  What happened?"
   "Shampoo had some sort of time travel thing," Ukyou
said.
   "A mirror?" Akane asked.  Ukyou nodded.  "Wow, all
that time and you were trying to marry your own..." 
All three of them turned green.  "Never mind.  So what
now?"
   "Lay the next bomb on Ranma," Ukyou said.  "But
I'll save that until after he's finished with Genma. 
I have business to attend to though.  Ryouga, can you
keep our kids out of trouble while I pay a visit to
someone?"
   "Be careful," Ryouga said.  Ukyou glanced back to
where Tendo Nabiki and Kuonji Kasumi were playing
poker.  Kuonji Nabiki was juggling Akane's dumbbells,
and Kuonji Akane was sitting still in an effort not to
get lost.  She looked anything but ready to sit still
though.
   "You too," Ukyou said sweatdropping.  She walked
over to Nodoka and then the two women were walking out
of the door.

******

   "Welcome to Nekohanten, Airen's Mother," Shampoo
said cheerfully.  "Oh, who is friend?"
   "Ranma's real mother," Ukyou said coolly.  "Would
you get Cologne, Shampoo."
   "Who you again?" Shampoo demanded.
   "Yes, I would like to know that as well," Cologne
said entering the room.  Ukyou turned to face her, and
then looked to Nodoka.
   "It seems that Ranma is not my child," Nodoka said.
 "My husband stole a child so that I would not know
that ours had died at birth."  Everybody was silent.
   "I see," Cologne said, she turned back to Ukyou. 
"And who are you?  You seem to know us, but I can't
remember seeing you before."
   "Well I haven't seen you for almost twenty years,"
Ukyou said.  Then she looked at Shampoo.  "Though the
last time she probably saw me was a month or two ago."
 Shampoo looked confused then her eyes widened.
   "Make yourself plain, please," Cologne said.  Ukyou
smirked and bowed.
   "Kuonji Ukyou," she said by way of introduction. 
"Your Great-Granddaughter thought it would be fun to
strand me in the past with Ryouga."  Shampoo paled. 
Cologne glanced Shampoo's way and sighed.
   "And your reason for coming here?" Cologne asked,
though she already knew.
   "I did a little research," Ukyou said.  "The
Amazon's consider a mother's word sacrosanct.  As
Ranma's MOTHER, I do not approve of him marrying
Shampoo."  She glared at Shampoo and then turned back
to Cologne.  "I have no problem with him operating as
an ally to the tribe however, if it will molify your
interests."
   "Agreed," Cologne said reluctantly.  She did get
the primary thing she wanted out of this, even if
Shampoo did not get her man.  "Shampoo, you are no
longer engaged to Ranma."  Shampoo dropped to the
floor in disbelief.
Just a one shot I came up with when I noticed who I
based the character concepts of a family in an
original idea of mine on.

****************************

   "YES!!  Shampoo is now mine to..." Mousse went
flying through the roof.  Ukyou watched the distraught
Amazon and smirked, now all that remained was to go
kick the remains of the bastard that stole her son.

******

   "So...uh...you're my parents?" Ranma said
hesitantly.
   "That's right," Ryouga said, still amazed at how
dense Ranma could be at times.
   "So what do you do?" Ranma asked nervously.  Ukyou
leaned forward.
   "Ranma, let me tell you a story about Shampoo and a
mirror that let's you travel through time...."

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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