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Sorry it's been so long. I'm a pretty sporadic writer.
Kuno swaggers forward, holding his bokken at the ready.
"The questionably honorable Flaming Amarant hath requested that I do him
a favor in providing information for you, the reader," he states. "The foul
sorcerer Saotome, the beautiful Akane Tendo, my beloved Pig-Tailed Goddess,
my noble self, and all other characters from Ranma 1/2 belong to the great
Rumiko Takahashi-sama. Also, he states that the esteemed Heihachi Mishima
and the redoubtable Bryan Fury are the property of whoever owns them. He
humbly requests that none who read this work of fiction would bring forth a
lawsuit against him, for he has nowhere near the vast resources of the great
The author steps forward and pats Kuno on the back, saying, "Good job,
Kuno. You can go home now."
"What?!" Kuno exclaims, outraged. "Foul demon, to deny my right to star
in your work! I shall smite thee!!" He then proceeds to beat the author
into a bloody pulp, and finally leaves.
"Owie...," the author mutters.
In association with Digital Wizardry Studios, Minnesota,
A Flaming Amarant production,
Of Gods and Men
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic with characters from the Tekken series.
" " = speech
< > = thought
/ / = panda sign
<" "> = other language where the norm would be Japanese
* * = sound effect
* * * * * *
"It's Cayenne. How is the plan proceeding?"
"I've got a plan, but something's come up. I'm leaving, and to Hell with
you and your damn plan."
"Someone offered me more money for a different job. I'm leaving tomorrow
"...How much to retain you?"
"Triple my fee, and you've got a deal."
"Done. What's the plan?"
"It's pretty simple, really. I need you to abduct a certain girl, one by
the name of Akane Tendo. She's a martial artist, but only a second dan in
kempo. I know that you're powerful, so you should have no trouble with her.
Once we have her, we use her to lure in her fiance into a position where he
has to fight me. Once that happens, he's toast."
"Why can't you get her?"
"I've got other things to arrange, and the goons I hired will only work
intel around Nerima. Something about that place being high risk. Just get
the girl and leave the rest up to me."
"...This had better work, Fury."
Bryan leaned against the wall of his short-term apartment for a minute,
thinking. The room itself was barren, sporting only a bed and a refrigerator
for ameneties. It was in the low-rent district of Tomobiki, well away from
Nerima. More importantly, it was near an information broker who knew just
about everything and would sell to anyone with enough money. Nodding, Bryan
flipped open his compact, black cell phone and dialed a number that only
about ten people in the world knew, besides himself.
"This is Mishima."
"Heihachi, so good to talk to you again. Tell me, did that rib set very
well? I did break it rather badly in the tournament last time, didn't I?"
"Fury! How did you get this number?"
"That's not important right now. What is important is that I have a
business proposition for you, one that I'm sure you'll be very interested in."
"Well, first of all, I know a man named Cayenne contacted you and
promised you a godling that you could slay for power and that he needed a
writ of temporary immunity for me from you and your branch of the Yakuza. Am
I right in this?"
"Yes. What does that have to do with a business proposition?"
"What if I could get you two?"
"Delivered to you, only slightly beaten, of course. Interested?"
"I want to be the official victor of the last Tekken tournament. I know
that you changed the records after the thing, and I want the real truth
"Is that all?"
"No. I want the billion dollars for winning the tournament and another
five hundred million for the two godlings transferred to a Swiss bank account
in my name, all in advance. I also want permanent immunity to your thugs
whenever I'm in Japan."
"That's a pretty high price."
"Pay it or you won't get either. I've got a very tempting offer in the
States that's much lower risk."
"The billion and the retraction now, the rest when I get the merchandise.
* * * * * *
Cologne hopped into the Nekohanten on her cane, a smug grin on her face.
Shampoo noticed this grin, and particularly this particular brand of that
"Aiyah! Great-grandmother have plan for Shampoo marry Ranma!" Shampoo
exclaimed, rushing to the front door of the cafe. Outside, crickets, somehow
still surviving even in the hustle and bustle of Nerima's business district,
sang their songs in the nighttime air.
"Indeed I do, Shampoo. I will be leaving tomorrow to teach Akane Tendo
the Breaking Point," Cologne declared.
"How this get Ranma for Shampoo?" Shampoo asked.
"As you may or may not know, it seems that Saffron, or some proxy of him,
as appeared in Nerima."
"Aiyah," Shampoo breathed.
"He, whoever he is, has encased Son-in-law in a cocoon of the chi
draining fibers that Saffron uses to transform. Son-in-law is alive,"
Cologne said quickly, seeing the panic rising in Shampoo's eyes. "And he
will be fine, given time. However, he has turned into a living chi vacuum.
Were anybody to use a chi technique on the shell, they would be drained
completely of their chi to fuel his needs."
"And you teach Violent Girl Breaking Point so she die trying to bring
back Ranma!" Shampoo realized.
"That is correct. Her chi, as much of it as she produces, should be
enough to bring back Son-in-law, but it will kill her, either outright or
after a period of wasting away. Akane is the current leader in the race for
Son-in-law's heart. When she dies, he will need a friend. Be that friend,
and you will win his heart," Cologne instructed. "I must rest now. It will
likely be days before Tendo learns the technique, and it will be nearly as
draining on me to keep her unsuspicious as it will be on her to learn the
technique." With that, she left up the stairs for her bedroom. Shampoo,
smiling, used chi-generated winds to finish cleaning up the floors of the
Nekohanten, the headed up to bed herself. She had always been proud of her
ability to generate large amounts of chi, but Great-grandmother had always
told her to hide her strength.
* * * * * *
Akane sat alone beside Ranma's bed in Tofu's office. Everyone had gone
home hours before, but she had refused, insisting that she wanted to stay
close to Ranma, because he couldn't protect himself while he was frozen.
After general agreement from most of the family and a knowing smirk from
Nabiki, Akane had been left at the office. Tofu had retired nearly an hour
ago, leaving Akane alone with Ranma.
"Well, Ranma," she said, smiling softly," We're finally alone, with no
meddling fathers, no nosy sisters, and no homicidal fiancees. Too bad you
can't talk." She sighed. "I wish I could really describe the last year, but
it defies explanation, no matter how hard I think. So much has happened to
both of us, both good and bad. I'm not sure if it's been the best year of my
life or the worst." For a minute, she paused, thinking on that last
"In the past year, I've been kidnapped more times than I care to
remember, engaged more often than that, and almost killed even more often.
My boy troubles have gone from bad to worse, I've gone from being the best
martial artist in Nerima to being completely unable to protect myself, and
there's no real chance that I'll be able to fix any of that," Akane listed,
ticking off fingers as she did so.
"On the other hand, though, I met you," she said, blushing. "The most
insensitive moron to ever walk the face of the planet, the one man who is
constantly insulting me, and the one man who infuriates me more than anything
else in life." For a second here, she paused, looking frantically around the
room for a camera or a microphone. Satisfied that there was neither, she
bent close to Ranma's crystallized ear and whispered, "but who's also the
most noble, honorable, and wonderful man that I've ever met. And, even
though I feel silly for only being able to say this when you can't hear me,
the one man who I've lost my heart to."
* * * * * *
Fake Author's Notes: HA! THIS IS NOT THE REAL AUTHOR'S NOTES! I FOOLED YOU
ALL!! BWAHAHAHA, THERE IS MORE YET IN THIS CHAPTER! CONTINUE CEADING, I
COMMAND THEE!!! *Smack* Thanks, I needed that...
* * * * * *
Outside the Tendo home, after all the lights went out, Cayenne silently
dropped from the cherry tree that he'd been hiding in ever since the Tendo
gaggle got home. Waving a hand, which glowed a pale blue in the nighttime
darkness, he used a spell to silence his movement as he slid open the shoji
door on the porch and slipped into the household proper.
Gliding noiselessly through the kitchen and past an abandoned shogi
board, he made his way to the stairs, careful not to make any floorboards
creak. His spell silenced him, not the area around him. Finally arriving at
the stairwell, he carefully levitated up, not trusting the wood of the
structure to be silent. Now on the second floor, he immediately saw the room
marked "Akane," the yellow plastic duck hanging cheerfully from the door.
<How nice of them to label her for me,> he thought, opening the door with
the utmost care. However, instead of seeing a young woman sleeping
peacefully on her bed, he was greeted with the sight of an empty bedroom,
obviously unvisited since early morning. <Shit,> he thought, Hearing a
creak in the floorboards, his head snapped around to look at an unmarked
door, behind which the sound had come. It was repeated. With that
thought, he stalked into Akane's room, closing the door behind him with
absolute silence. That done, he vaulted from her window and flew away into
Back at the Tendo home, a groggy panda padded slowly from his bedroom
towards the bathroom to relieve itself, oblivious to the world.
* * * * * *
Ranma floated in a dreamworld somewhere between consciousness and
unconsciousness. Images drifted in front of him, half-formed ideas and
musings. Every now and again, a dream would overtake him, and he'd live it
for a few minutes before it would dissolve into nothingness. Strangely,
though, after a while, all the musings and half-thoughts fled to the edge of
his awareness, and he woke up, just a bit.
Then, almost as if in another dream, he heard Akane's voice.
"I wish I could really describe the last year, but it defies explanation,
no matter how hard I think," she said out of the darkness.
"Akane?" he called.
Obliviously, Akane continued, "So much has happened to both of us, both
good and bad. I'm not sure if it's been the best year of my life or the
"Akane? Can you hear me?" Ranma called, louder, gaining no response
"In the past year," her voice finally continued, "I've been kidnapped
more times than I care to remember, engaged more often than that, and almost
killed even more often. My boy troubles have gone from bad to worse, I've
gone from being the best martial artist in Nerima to being completely unable
to protect myself, and there's no real chance that I'll be able to fix any of
that." After that, Ranma stood there, stunned, realizing just how crazy
Akane's life had become since he had arrived
"On the other hand, though, I met you," she said, causing Ranma to blush.
"The most insensitive moron to ever walk the face of the planet, the one man
who is constantly insulting me, and the one man who infuriates me more than
anything else in life." A pause here, as Ranma got a horrible sinking
feeling in the pit of his stomach. The blush was gone, and look of despair
adorned his face.
Barely audibly, he whispered, falling to his knees, "No. No."
"But," her voice continued, causing him to look up, "Who's also the most
noble, honorable, and wonderful man that I've ever met. And, even though I
feel silly for only being able to say this when you can't hear me, the one
man who I've lost my heart to." Her voice faded, leaving Ranma alone, once
more, on his knees, a single tear rolling down his face, a trembling smile on
"Me too, Akane," he whispered, "Me too."
***Real Author's Notes***
First things first- Don't attack me for OOC here! The idea is that Ranma
is only half-aware, and that his normal defenses (insults, purposeful
ignorance) are pretty ineffective. Thus, we are left with an emotionally
bereft boy who, for the first time in his life, is learning what love is.
Big difference from the dummy we all know and love, huh? Maybe not. In any
case, on to the real notes part. *Ahem* SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUGAR!!!!
After three cans of root beer (Only A&W, the best), and countless numbers of
cookies and cheez-its (best snack food in the world), I tore into my room and
beat this out of my failing mind in 53 minutes aaaaaaand..... 37 seconds.
Boo ya. Beat that. Now, seeing as my sugar rush is fading, I'd best go.....
to..... sleeeeeee.............. *Snore*
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