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(I've split this chapter into two parts, since it ended up being just
barely under 100k. Chapter 5b will be along Saturday.)
I don't own `em. I ain't making money off of
`em. Please don't waste your money suing me, as
I am poor.
Another author DOES make a brief cameo in
here. He knows about it and doesn't care, as
he's already gotten his revenge. That means
neither should you. (Of course, if you can't
spot it, don't worry about it.)
If you feel this overpowering urge to slam
your head into a wall after reading this, it
MIGHT be because you didn't read the earlier
chapters. (Or it might just be my writing.) Anyways,
you can find the earlier chapters @
Tannim's (absolutely wonderful!!) page:
All the Small Things-Chapter 5a
A Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 fanfic
By: Slacker (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"Can we get on with this? I want to go take
a nap." a voice announced. Surprisingly, it
wasn't Usagi. It was Minako.
A chorus of agreement echoed from around the
room. It had been four days since their last
meeting, and the attacks had intensified. The
current record was four times in one night. It
had been set last night, as a matter of fact.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Ami agreed. She
was feeling the late nights just as much as the
rest of them, and had actually fallen asleep in
class yesterday. She still blushed whenever she
thought about the teacher's expression.
"So what do we need to cover?" Haruka asked
from where she was sitting with Michiru and
Hotaru. She shifted slightly in order to let
Hotaru make herself more comfortable. It had
taken less than five minutes for Hotaru to fall
asleep on her shoulder.
"This is just a progress report. So far, I
haven't found any pattern in the attacks. I
think I've come close a few times, but then
something happens to throw off my calculations.
Our enemies change tactics, powers, and
appearances almost every time they attack. Quite
frankly, I'm stumped. The only thing that
confuses me more than the enemy is Nemesis."
Everyone groaned at the name. Nemesis had
shown up at most of the fights, but had stayed
to the sidelines for the majority of them. He
usually introduced himself by insulting their
fighting skills at the top of his voice. It was
when he didn't immediately start with the
insults that they worried. It meant that he was
taking the enemy seriously.
Mamoru rubbed his shoulder and winced at the
name. Usagi noticed and hugged him with a
"Still bothering you?" Ami asked.
"No. Just remembering." Mamoru replied.
Everyone nodded as they remembered just HOW he
had hurt his shoulder.
Two nights before
Tuxedo Kamen crouched on the rooftop, a rose
in his hand. Below him, the Senshi were fighting
some sort of crab-like youma. They were slowly
Actually, this fight was going better than
usual. They had managed to hold their own in the
first part of the fight. It was only as the
fight dragged on that they began to lose. They
still didn't have the stamina to fight for much
more than ten minutes at a time.
Tuxedo Kamen tensed in preparation. He was
just waiting for a good opportunity to provide a
distraction in the form of one of his roses.
"Hey. Pretty-boy." The voice came from
Kamen froze. He slowly turned. <Oh, crap. It
IS him.> "Nemesis."
Nemesis smiled a tight little smile. It
wasn't a happy smile by any means. "What the
hell are you doing up here?"
"Helping the Senshi?"
"By sitting up on a roof, waiting to throw a
piece of foliage, while the Senshi do all the
When it was put that way, Kamen had to admit
that it sounded really pathetic. His voice was a
bit subdued when he answered.
"You really want to help them in their
fights?" Nemesis asked in a pleasant voice.
"Of course!" Kamen's voice was indignant.
"Well then, get your ass IN THE FIGHT!"
Tuxedo Kamen had just enough time to flinch
back before he felt Nemesis grab the front of
The Senshi stared in shock as Tuxedo Kamen
flew over the edge of the roof and slammed into
the back of the youma.
"Hit it now, Sailor Moon!" Nemesis called in
a sarcastic tone of voice from the edge of the
roof. He turned and started to walk off. As he
walked away, he looked at the rose in his hand
and snorted. "Goddess, that boy was trained
better than that. Guess that's the result of
slacking off in training."
He dropped the rose on the roof. His next
step crushed the fragile blossom. He walked on,
Mamoru had come out of that little incident
with a dislocated shoulder and large amounts of
bruising, but little else. Ami remarked that
Nemesis HAD to have been aiming him when he
threw him, or else he would have probably died
Haruka growled. Every time they met, Nemesis
had made jokes about either "Sailor Asshole" or
Hotaru shifted a bit in her sleep. Haruka
instantly froze so she wouldn't wake her up.
Hotaru had been at every one of the Senshi's
fights. It was strange. Nemesis almost seemed
fond of her, taking time out of each fight to
ask how she was, what her day had been like, and
so forth. If Haruka didn't know better, she'd
almost suspect he cared about her. But after
watching Nemesis refuse to fight until Usagi was
endangered, she'd come to the conclusion that he
didn't care about anyone but the Princess.
"Well, if that's all we need to talk about,
then I'm going to go take a nap." Usagi
announced as she stood up and started to walk to
"What? Don't you want to hear what I have to
say?" A voice asked from the shadowed corner
directly behind Usagi.
"AAH!" Usagi screamed as she whipped around
and unloaded a right jab into the shadow with a
sharp *CRACK*, then stumbled over her own feet
and fell on her butt.
Setsuna walked out of the shadows, rubbing
around her left eye, which was already swelling
slightly. "Nice punch, but you need to work on
the follow-up. And you shouldn't punch someone
who's come to give you information. It...lacks
"Information?" Ami perked up. "About what?"
"Not what. Who." Setsuna answered as she sat
down at the table, rubbing the area around her
eye. When she dropped her hand, there was no
trace of a bruise or swelling.
Everyone instantly figured out who. Haruka
was the one who voiced the conclusion.
Setsuna smiled as she accepted a cup of tea
from Rei. "Precisely."
"So what about him." Haruka drawled.
"Let's start with the planet first." Setsuna
began. "Out of ten living creatures, animal,
plant, or otherwise, on Nemesis, nine of them
would try to kill and eat you."
"Lovely place." Michiru chimed.
"You haven't heard the best part. The tenth
just wants to kill you. You survive only by
being a better killer than the rest of the
planet. Nemesis survived almost a decade."
"I begin to understand why he's so nasty."
"Good. He didn't have it much better off in
this life, either."
"What do you mean?" Haruka inquired.
"Do you really expect me to answer that? And
ruin what's left of my reputation?"
"No, not really." Rei dryly stated.
"Good. That means you're learning." Setsuna
smiled behind her cup. "Now, let's talk about
Nemesis the person. Ami, give me your computer."
"What? Why?" Ami asked as she clutched her
computer to her chest.
"I need it to illustrate my next point. Now,
may I have it?"
Ami hesitantly gave Setsuna the Mercury
Computer. Setsuna immediately began to type
slowly on the keyboard. She appeared to be
having a hard time. Finally, she growled and
slammed the Computer onto the table.
"Forget it. I never could type on that
thing. Stupid keyboard." Setsuna grumbled.
Ami started to reach out to reclaim her
computer. Setsuna stopped her with a single
look, then reached over and pressed a few
"Computer. Voice address. Voice
authentication: Pluto." Setsuna commanded.
"Voice authenticated. Hello, Pluto." The
Computer responded in a rich tenor voice.
"It has a voice address system?" Ami
whispered. A twitch started by her left eye. "It
has a voice address system. IT HAS A VOICE
ADDRESS SYSTEM!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
"You didn't ask." Setsuna calmly answered.
Makoto had to hold Ami back from trying to
choke Setsuna, who looked at Ami and blinked.
"How...quaint. You should probably calm
down, Ami. I don't think your face is supposed
to be that color of purple." Setsuna noted.
When Ami showed no indication of halting her
quest to massage Setsuna's throat, the Senshi of
Time reached over and tapped the back of her
outstretched hand. Ami promptly collapsed into
"What'd you do!" Makoto demanded.
"Pressure point. It'll wear off soon."
Setsuna informed her, then turned back to the
"I've never heard of a pressure point on
the hand that would do that." Ami mumbled from
"There isn't one. There is one on the
neck, though. The hand was to distract you."
Setsuna informed her.
Makoto quickly glanced at Ami's neck. Sure
enough, there was a small red mark just above
her collarbone. <Wow. I didn't even see her
"Computer, open the Nemesis files. Play
files 335 and 629." Setsuna commanded.
"Unable to comply. Unauthorized personnel
present." The Computer replied.
"What?" Setsuna blinked. Then she shook her
head. "Computer, full identifying scan of all
"Complying." The Computer sat quietly for a
"Setsuna, what's it doing?" Usagi asked.
"It's running a full scan on all of us. DNA,
spiritual aura, magical aura, synapse map, about
fifty other scans that can't be explained unless
you've got advanced degrees in physics, biology,
and magical theory. You've changed a bit from
the Silver Millenium, both physically and
mentally. It has to re-catalogue you." She
"Scan complete. Present: Sailors Mercury,
Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune,
Pluto, Princess Serenity, and Prince Endymion.
Errors detected. Queen Serenity: Deceased. King
Endymion: Deceased. Updating databanks. The
Queen is dead. Long live the Queen. Query:
Sailor Saturn is active. Do you wish to activate
the Silence Protocols?" The Computer finished.
"No. Delete the Silence Protocols. They are
unnecessary." Setsuna's voice was firm.
"Setsuna, what are the Silence Protocols?"
Michiru asked, not noticing that Hotaru was
Setsuna turned to look at her. "What do you
think they are with a name like that? They're a
set of protocols designed to kill Sailor Saturn.
They were deemed necessary. Most of them
involved the destruction of one or more of the
"What would make something like that
necessary?" Ami asked in a horrified voice.
"The end of all that is. The Silence.
Several prophecies spoke of it, and the fact
that Saturn is the only one who could bring it.
So, steps were taken, just in case." Setsuna's
voice was matter-of-fact. "We weren't going to
allow the Silence to happen. To that end, a
series of scenarios were worked out. Thankfully,
they were never necessary."
"They hated me that much?" Hotaru whispered.
Setsuna turned to look at her. Her voice
softened as she answered. "No, Hotaru. They were
scared of what they thought you represented."
She seemed to consider something for a few
seconds, then nodded.
"Computer, open Council log #334519.
Immediately." Setsuna commanded.
"Yes, Pluto. Council log #334519 opening."
The Computer responded as the air above it began
to glow. A scene quickly appeared hovering over
A group of people were sitting around a
large marble table. Setsuna started to name
"Aria, Queen of Mercury." She was a small
woman with brown hair and eyes wearing a light
blue robe. She had the look of a scholar.
"Taris, Queen of Venus." She was a blonde
woman, with a figure that was...lush. (And
wearing a dress that looked to be painted on.)
"Endymion, King of Earth." He was dressed in
the same armor that Mamoru occasionally used.
His resemblance to his son was unmistakable.
"I don't really need to introduce Queen
Serenity, do I?" Serenity was wearing her usual
white gown, and had a slightly troubled cast to
"Keira, Queen of Mars." She had long black
hair and violet eyes, and was wearing a form-
fitting red gown.
"Zeus, King of Jupiter. It's a hereditary
name, by the way." He was a huge man with a head
of fiery red hair and a beard to match. He was
dressed in a battered set of forest green plate
"Vessa, Queen of Saturn." She looked the
same as the last time they had seen her.
"Haran, King of Uranus." He was a slim
blonde man with light green eyes, and was
wearing a formal tunic.
"Lera, Queen of Neptune." She was a medium-
sized woman with almost electric-blue eyes and
hair, wearing an elegant green gown.
"What? No ruler for Pluto?" Haruka
Setsuna looked at her. "Of course not. The
only one allowed on Pluto was myself. If anyone
else tried to land, they were killed. No chances
were taken in regards to the Time Gate."
"Computer, begin play." Setsuna commanded.
"Complying." As the Computer started to
play, everyone turned to watch the recording.
"So this is all we've got? By the Gods, some
of these are ridiculous!" Jupiter demanded,
waving a sheaf of papers in the air.
"You requested that I develop a series of
scenarios, Zeus. You never specified what type."
Mercury responded in a calm voice.
"Aria, you should have used SOME common
sense! I mean, look at them! Most of those plans
involve the willful destruction of at least one
planet!" Uranus interjected.
"Haran, those ARE the ones where I used
common sense. The best estimates we have on
Saturn's power put her at well ABOVE Nemesis!"
Mercury's voice was insistent.
"She's that powerful?" Neptune asked in a
"Lera, Nemesis has stated that Saturn has a
greater power potential than he does. I believe
him. These are the only plans that might stand a
chance at stopping her should she go rogue."
Mercury informed her.
"Well, I'll just have to make sure she
doesn't go rogue, then. Won't I?" A voice
commented from the shadows behind Serenity.
Everyone at the table stiffened, except for
"I was wondering how long you'd just stand
there." Serenity's voice was calm.
Nemesis smiled as he moved out of the
shadows. He walked over to the table and
snatched the papers that Jupiter was holding out
of his hands and started to read them.
"Setsuna, just how old is Nemesis? He's a
lot bigger than the last time we saw him!" Usagi
"He's between twenty-two and twenty-five in
this recording. And when did you see him
before?" Setsuna replied.
"He's got to be over seven feet tall!"
"Actually, he's six feet, five inches tall,
weighs a little over four hundred and fifty
pounds, can bench-press over three tons, and can
run at just a little bit under Mach 1. Any other
relevant information you want to know?" Setsuna
"He looks taller. And he shouldn't weigh
that much, not at that height." Ami seemed
"His bones and muscles are a lot denser than
most people's. Side-effect of growing up on
Nemesis. At least, that was the theory." Setsuna
Haruka opened her mouth to ask another
question, but was interrupted by the recording.
Nemesis was laughing his head off.
*snicker* "What the hell were you smoking when
you came up with some of these?" Nemesis asked
the Queen of Mercury. "And why aren't you
"What is that supposed to mean?" she
"That means that these plans are a joke.
Mostly." Nemesis began to go through the stack.
"Pathetic." Tossed to the floor. "Moronic."
Toss. "Yeah, right." Toss. "Don't make me
laugh." Toss. "This doesn't even deserve a
comment." Crumpled and bounced off of Jupiter's
head. "This one might do. If she was asleep,
crippled, and deaf."
As Nemesis continued, the stack of discards
grew larger. A few were placed on the table, and
dubbed "Barely adequate. *IF* you got lucky."
As he neared the bottom of the stack, more
were placed on the table. As he read the last
paper, he stopped and stared at it.
"By the gods." His whispered comment was
horrified. "She's a six year-old girl! And you
suggest...THIS?! I think I'm gonna throw up."
Nemesis clenched his fist, and the paper
burst into flame. He glared around the table.
"I'm only going to say this once. Saturn is
under my protection. You try to hurt her and I
WILL take any steps necessary. The moment any of
these plans are set into motion, I WILL know.
And I...will...KILL...*YOU*! She has the same
protection as the Princess and the Younger
Senshi. And you all know how I deal with threats
to them, don't you?" His voice was deadly calm.
"Are you threatening us?" Neptune's voice
"I don't make threats. Ever. I make
promises." Nemesis turned to leave. As he opened
the door, he called over his shoulder "Oh, by
the way, Vessa? How's Mimas these days?"
The Queen of Saturn stiffened. Nemesis'
laughter could be heard as the recording
"Nemesis took, and takes, his
responsibilities VERY seriously. Once he took up
a job, he never quit it. Hurting, or trying to
hurt someone under his protection was a quick
way to commit suicide." Setsuna's voice was
firm. "Computer, play recording 629."
They saw a well-lit corridor, with rich
tapestries and tasteful statues lining the
A shadow detached itself and crept along the
hallway. It regularly paused and checked for
threats. Finding none, it slowly made its way
to a door.
Easing open the door, the shadow crept
towards its target: the seven-year-old Princess
Serenity. Slowly drawing out a thin knife, the
assassin prepared to strike.
"Easiest money I've ever made." He
"I doubt that."
The shadow froze as the voice spoke from
directly above it. It looked up just as a ball
of light flared into existence. The assassin was
around six feet, two inches tall, with short
brown hair and blue eyes. The hand holding the
ball of light belonged to Sailor Nemesis. The
assassin summed up his feelings with a simple
and heartfelt "Oh, SHIT!"
"Templar, right?" Nemesis said with a nasty
smile. A whimper was his response. "Good.
Templar took off running. Nemesis jumped
down from his mid-air perch and followed. A
short while later, a scream sounded, only to be
cut off by a wet gurgle.
Nemesis walked into Princess Serenity's
room, wiping off his hands and talking to
himself as he came. "Well, that was messy. Guy
was surprisingly good. I think he broke some
He walked over to the princess and stroked
her cheek after adjusting her blankets. He
smiled and floated back up by the ceiling.
The recording ended just as he turned off
the light spell.
"Nemesis would give people just enough rope
to hang themselves with. Then he'd... take
steps. We never did find that man." Setsuna's
voice was quiet. "He had a sense of justice that
was very...focused. There were only two things
he held as important: the safety of his wards
and doing his duty. He'd ignore any law,
statute, or decree that prevented him from doing
that. It's that simple."
The Senshi all stopped to think about that
for a second.
"Playing record #335." The Computer
The recording appeared to be of the throne
room of Queen Serenity. (Born out by the fact
that she was sitting in the throne at one end.)
A man dressed in a red robe was addressing her.
He was extremely angry, as evidenced by his
bright red face and the fact that he was
screaming at the Queen. The Senshi's eyes popped
at his language.
"One of the Ambassadors from Mars. He's
upset over a decision Serenity made involving
the Younger Mars." Setsuna informed them.
"What decision would cause that kind of an
outburst?" Rei asked.
"She decided to let Nemesis train the
Younger Senshi. The Queen of Mars refused to let
you 'suffer under that psycho'. So Nemesis
kidnapped you. Serenity decreed that the
Martians were not to attempt to find you."
"Nemesis trained us?" Ami asked.
"Yes. He trained all of you. And he taught
me a few new tricks, too. Mostly by using them
on me." Setsuna replied, just as the man wound
down his diatribe.
"Thank you, Ambassador, for that...colorful
speech. Nevertheless, my decision remains
unchanged. I will not entertain any more
petitions to change it. Do you understand?"
Serenity's voice was sharp. Her eyes promised
pain if he answered 'No'.
The man gulped and nodded. He turned and
started to walk out of the room. As he walked he
whistled a little tune. Rei paled as she heard
"Something wrong, Rei?" Usagi asked.
"That was NOT a nice thing he said." She
"What do you mean? He just whistled." Haruka
"Their language basically WAS whistling. It
was really beautiful to listen to in large
groups. The choirs were incredible." Setsuna
A chorus of understanding went around the
room at her explanation.
The Ambassador stomped out of the room,
whistling the entire time. The view followed him
as he turned right and stomped down the hallway
outside the room. He was just about to turn a
corner when an arm shot out of the shadows
behind a column and grabbed the front of his
robe. Nemesis emerged from the shadow and smiled
a tight smile at him.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" The
Ambassador started to stammer something that
sounded like a refusal. Nemesis nodded. "That's
nice. Let's go in there."
Nemesis dragged him into a room and shut the
door behind him. He continued to smile as he
blocked the door with a rather large divan.
Nemesis turned around.
"Let's make this quick. There's just a few
things we need to cover. First, you've got a
fairly large dagger under your robe. You know
the rules against that. Second, it's an
ENCHANTED dagger! That just makes it worse.
Third, to take care of your main complaint, your
princess is MUCH safer under my protection than
anywhere else in this system. Fourth, Serenity
doesn't know the nastier parts of Martian. I do.
If you even think about calling her that again,
they will NEVER find your body. Understand?"
Nemesis could have been discussing the weather
for the emotion he showed in his voice.
The man gulped and nodded.
"Good. Now listen closely: I swear to you,
on my oath to Serenity, that no lasting harm
shall be done to your Princess. In fact, by the
time I'm done with her, she'll be in better
health than you can imagine." Nemesis paused for
a few seconds, and seemed to consider something.
"Hmmm, I've got an idea. You go to Keira and
tell her what I just told you. If she wants to
argue, have HER come and complain about it to me
personally. All right?"
The Ambassador just stared at him.
"I'll take your silence to mean yes."
Nemesis commented. He turned and started to walk
into a shadow.
"Wait!" But the Ambassador's cry came too
late. Nemesis had already vanished.
"Great. Now how am I supposed to get out of
here?" The man muttered, as he kicked the divan
still blocking the door.
Rei was snickering as the recording ended.
"I remember that guy. He was such a...." She
searched for a polite way to say it.
"Pompous ass?" Setsuna suggested.
"Precisely." Rei said crisply.
"I remember him. I keep seeing him in this
hat. You know what I mean?" Haruka asked.
"Yeah! And the squid!" Rei excitedly
"And that thing! What was with that thing?
What was it?" Haruka interjected.
"I don't know! Hey, remember the SHOES?" Rei
asked. All three broke down laughing. After a
few seconds, Setsuna stopped snickering, and
looked at the puzzled expressions of the rest of
"Don't ask. One of those 'You had to have
been there' things." She explained.
"Riiiight." Michiru drawled.
"Anyways, onto the next recording." Setsuna
said, sobering up nearly instantly. "This one
was taken a few months after the one we just
The recording started with a familiar face
"Damn it! Give me a status report!" It was
the Queen of Saturn. She was sitting in a large,
functional-looking chair in what appeared to be
a command center of some kind.
"Same as the last, my Queen. We STILL can't
get anyone within range to monitor them, and our
ships with ground-pounder capabilities are still
two days out. King Zeus has informed us that his
forces are busy dealing with a few unpleasant
surprises the rebels left on Jupiter when they
escaped custody." An aide informed her.
"So we're just going to sit here and wait?!
After those bastards invaded Mimas, killed every
single person at the terra-forming station, and
blatantly dared us to try to stop them? You
expect me to just sit here and wait for TWO
FUCKING DAYS?!" The Queen screamed.
"No. I expect you to sit down, shut up, and
not do a damn thing." A voice announced from
behind her. Everyone whirled around. Nemesis was
standing there, with a large group of young
children. They were easily recognizable.
"That's us when we were kids." Ami stated
"Of course. Who else would look exactly like
you when you were that age?" Setsuna replied
"How old are we here? And where's Makoto?"
"You range from eight to twelve years old
here. And, if you'd be quiet for a few seconds,
you'd find out where Makoto is." Setsuna replied
with a bit of a bite in her tone.
Meanwhile, the recording continued with the
Queen of Saturn standing and addressing Nemesis.
"Why are you here? This is not in your
jurisdiction. This is a matter between me, Zeus,
and those rebels. Your assistance is neither
needed or desired." Her voice was just a little
warmer than liquid nitrogen.
Nemesis glanced over at her as he answered.
"Serenity granted me permission to train the
"So? How does that relate to this matter?"
Nemesis pointed at the image of Mimas
displayed on the viewscreen. "Jupiter is down
there. She's the second to last of the Youngers.
I WILL get her. I don't care who or what I have
to go through."
"Oh, really." the Queen of Saturn arched an
eyebrow. She pointed at the children with him.
"And do you intend to take them with you?"
Nemesis snorted. "Of course not. They'll
stay here. Mercury will be in charge. You can
call her Ice. It's her street name." He patted
the blue-haired girl's head fondly.
"And what can she do? She's what? Twelve, at
the most?" An aide scoffed as he reached over to
"Ice is just a bit over twelve, as near as
we can figure. As for what she can do? Ice, drop
him. Softly." Nemesis calmly commanded.
She responded with the speed of a striking
cobra. Two fingers slammed into the man's leg,
which collapsed underneath him. He pitched
forward, and his throat received the same two
fingers. She grabbed his collar with her left
hand and put the knife that had appeared in her
right hand to his now-abused throat. Her calm,
reserved expression hadn't changed in the least
"That's what she can do. Ice is quite
possibly the most intelligent person I've ever
met. And one of the most resilient. She's been
on her own in the Mercurian slums since she was
five. You'll notice she's still in good
condition, despite living in that hellish place
for seven years. Trust me, she'll be able to
handle anything." His voice was full of calm
The Queen of Saturn nodded her head in
acceptance. "All right. Will you grant me a
"Depends on what it is."
"Carry a battle recorder. I've always wanted
to see you fight with the kid gloves off."
"Can't. The Chaos won't allow them to work,
remember?" Nemesis' voice was faintly mocking.
"It's Mercurian." She quickly replied.
"Man, you're ready for anything, aren't
you?" Nemesis shook his head. "Fine. I'll grab
it before I go down."
Ice broke down laughing. Nemesis shook his
head and chuckled softly.
"Knew she'd do that. Kid's got a dirty
mind." He commented as he left the command
A few minutes later, a voice spoke up over
the intercom. It sounded a bit shocked.
"My Queen? Nemesis just left. He...um,
well...walkedouttheairlock?" the voice finished
in a rush.
"Walked out the airlock?" the Queen arched
an eyebrow. "Well, I suppose that's ONE way to
avoid them detecting him teleporting down to the
"HOLY GODS! Multiple jump signatures to
port!" A man screamed from his station.
"What?! Show them!" The command was snapped
out harshly. "Who the hell is crazy enough to
warp in this close to Saturn?"
The viewscreen shifted sharply just in time
to see a silver aura fade from around three
large, graceful ships. The one in the middle was
huge, easily twice the size of the other two
"That's the 'Serenity Ascendant.' Why would
the Queen's flagship be here?" Saturn muttered
under her breath. Unnoticed by all, the Younger
Senshi subtly shifted to hide one of their
members in the center of the group.
Queen Serenity's image flashed onto the
viewscreen. She had a look of barely-controlled
rage on her face, and pure ice in her eyes.
"Where is he?" she hissed.
"Where is WHO?" Saturn inquired.
"Nemesis. Where is that bastard." Came the
"He just went down to Mimas' surface. We
could try to get in contact with him-" Serenity
cut her off.
"Where are the children he had with him?"
Her voice was a bit frenzied.
"They're right over there." Saturn pointed
towards the children. "Why are you so...upset?"
"Hello, Mother!" piped a voice from the
middle of the children. The rest of them
<'Mother'? Wait, that means...Please let me
be wrong. Please.> "Princess Serenity?"
"Hiiiiiii!" The voice was insanely cheerful,
despite the attempts to quiet it.
"Oh, damn. What is SHE doing here?" Saturn
muttered under her breath.
"Arin said we were going on a trip! I'm
having lots of fun! First we went to Mercury,
then to Venus, and then to-MMMPH!" Her voice was
cut off as a hand covered her mouth. The hand
belonged to a younger version of Rei, who glared
at the Princess and muttered something about
'giving her SUCH a pinch.'
Saturn turned back to Serenity. "My Queen, I
will ferry the Princess over to your flagship."
"No, you won't. Nemesis told me to watch
over the rest of the Youngers, protect the
Princess, and wait here. The Princess leaving
invalidates those instructions. You will not be
moving her until he returns and instructs me in
a different course of action." Ice's voice was
flat. She spoke with the calm assurance of one
who knew that what she stated was a fact.
"And how will you prevent me, child?" Saturn
waved one of her personal guards forward. "Get
the Princess and take her back to Serenity."
The man started towards the group of
children, cracking his knuckles as he went. Ice
moved to meet him. She punched out incredibly
fast, only to have her hand caught by one of his
hands, as his other hand grabbed the back of her
shirt and lifted her off her feet.
"What will you do now, little girl?" the man
rumbled in a deep voice.
"This." she reached up and grabbed his
wrist. She squeezed a pressure point and his
hand spasmed open. She dropped to the ground and
slapped her open hand against his chest.
He was instantly encased in a thin, super-
hard, super-cold layer of ice.
Ice turned and started to walk back to the
group. She looked over her shoulder as she
announced "As I already said, you will not move
her. You have two minutes to defrost him before
permanent damage is done."
Saturn gestured to an aide. "Get him to the
She started to walk towards Ice, who dropped
into a loose fighting stance, with a knife that
looked to be made of ice appearing in her right
hand. Saturn opened her mouth to speak and was
prevented when a beeping started.
"My Queen?" an aide hesitantly spoke up.
"That's the tactical channel. It's from the
planet. It's Nemesis. Audio only."
"Put him on." The Queen commanded.
There was a brief crackle, then Nemesis'
voice came through.
"I've got her. Little minx bit me! I like
her already." They could hear the amusement in
"Serenity is here, Nemesis. Seems a bit
angry. Something concerning her daughter?"
Saturn's voice was cheerful.
"She is? Well...damn. I don't suppose you
could lie to her and tell her I'm not here?" His
voice was hopeful.
"She's listening to this conversation."
Saturn replied, a smirk on her face. Nemesis was
silent for a few seconds.
"Oh. Damn, again. Hi, Serenity. Lovely
weather, isn't it?" His voice was carefree.
"Oh, yes. Very lovely. I'm going to have you
drawn and quartered, you know." Serenity's voice
"Why would you want to do that?" Nemesis
asked in a puzzled tone of voice.
"You really need to ask?"
"No, not really." Nemesis chuckled. "But
before you do that, you might want to back a bit
farther away from Mimas."
"What? Back away from Mimas? Why?" Saturn
"Well, I'm out-numbered, and I've got a kid
in my arms. I can't fight at my usual level, or
the kid will get hurt. So, I'm going to Absolve
these bastards." Nemesis' voice was grim.
Serenity turned white. "Absolve? You're
going to cast Absolution?" she whispered in a
trembling voice. She glanced off-screen and
commanded "Get us back, now!"
"Absolution? What kind of a spell name is
'Absolution'?" Saturn asked in a moderately
"You have my daughter on your vessel. You
also have the Younger Senshi, several of whom
are the only heirs of their planets. Move back.
NOW." Serenity's voice was flat.
"All right, all right. Pull back. What's the
worst that can happen?" Saturn rhetorically
Over the speakers, they could hear Nemesis
begin to talk.
"You psychotic little morons have
slaughtered 800 innocent men, women, and
children. You've destroyed nearly priceless
equipment, ruined 200 years of terraforming
efforts, and, if I remember the broadcast
correctly, called Queen Serenity a 'frigid,
over-controlling bitch.' I resent that last bit.
She's not frigid. I'm afraid you all have to die
now." He paused, then continued. "In the next
life, I hope you can find...ABSOLUTION!!"
It started small. Just a tiny point of light
on the surface. Nothing major, certainly nothing
to worry about. Then it grew rapidly in an orgy
of destruction. Tendrils of actinic fury lanced
out and ripped huge chunks of the moon's surface
out before they were re-absorbed into the main
part of the quickly-formed dome. They could see
atmosphere start to boil off as the dome flared
and pulsed with power. The huge dome of light
rippled out to cover a third of the moon's
surface, peeling back the solid rock like a
tomato hit by a sandblaster. Then, it just
vanished, leaving a huge crater, a desolate
surface, and a now-dead world. The crater wasn't
"Holy...." the Queen of Saturn trailed off
as words failed her. Behind her, there were a
few thuds as legs gave out.
Ice was more succinct in her response.
"Hmmm, maybe I overdid it a bit. Still, it's
kind of pleasing in a purely aesthetic sort of
way, don't you think?"
Everyone whirled at Nemesis' voice. He was
standing in a shadow in a far corner of the
bridge, holding a small form in his arms. A
small amount of brown hair could be seen flowing
over one of his arms, offset by a pair of feet
hanging over the other.
"That's her?" Ice asked, motioning towards
"Yup. Ice, meet Lana. She's the daughter of
Jovian Supreme Commander Knight. She's your
responsibility now." Nemesis walked over and
placed the still form in her arms. She stirred
as she was moved. Green eyes blinked open and
met blue ones. Ice smiled.
"Hi. I'm Ice. I'm gonna take real GOOD care
of you." Her voice sounded very pleased in some
obscure way. She was smiling widely as the
"Well, THAT was interesting." Haruka
remarked dryly. "I just feel incredibly re-
assured about him, now."
Ami frowned slightly. There had been
something about the way that her past self had
grinned that disturbed her. It reminded her of
Haruka, for some weird reason.
"You didn't see Nemesis when he was in a bad
mood. I once watched him back down the leader of
the Royal Guard with one look." Setsuna informed
them. "Of course, him in a good mood had...other
"Such as what? What could be worse than what
we just saw?" Rei demanded incredulously.
Setsuna pondered for a second, then nodded
to herself. "He played practical jokes."
"How could that be worse?" Hotaru asked.
"You're about to find out." Setsuna replied,
snapping her fingers as she spoke. "The baths."
Everything went black.
The Silver Millenium
Sailor Pluto sighed as she shed her uniform
with a thought and stepped into the hot waters
of the bath. She leaned back against the rim and
smiled as she felt her muscles start to loosen
She had been running especially hard lately.
Nemesis appeared to be deliberately trying to
annoy her. If it wasn't sneaking the Princess
down to Earth to meet with Prince Endymion, it
was encouraging the Younger Senshi to raise
havoc among the Royal court.
She KNEW it was a mistake to let him train
them. She couldn't fault his efficiency, they
were EXTREMELY good at using their powers.
However, they also showed some of his...less
pleasant attitudes, as well. His rather harsh
sense of honor, his absolute refusal to accept
authority, his contempt for anyone who failed to
live up to his standards, and, of course, his
EXTREMELY odd sense of humor.
But, she had to admit, it was rather amusing
to watch the Younger Senshi go out to town. They
partied with a flair that was almost unbeatable.
They also applied the same flair to their
fighting. "Don't just win, win with STYLE."
seemed to be their motto in a fight. Even the
Princess was able to hold her own (against the
Army's hand to hand instructors no less), at
Pluto chuckled as she remembered the
expression on the instructor's face as the
Princess ended her first session by throwing him
against the far wall, then tripped and fell on
her face as she walked out of the sparring ring.
As she grabbed some soap for her hair, she
considered the Younger Senshi as a whole. All of
the Inners were very good at their job of
bodyguards, and even worked well with the
Outers, something that hadn't happened in quite
a long time. She was certain that Uranus and
Neptune were lovers, and it was possible they
had a soul-bond. If they did, it was time for a
party. Soul-bonding was extremely rare and
whenever one was discovered, the Queen always
threw a massive party.
She paused in lathering her hair as a
thought occurred to her. <Why am I growing my
hair out? It's a pain to take care of.> An image
of a serious-looking boy suggesting she grow out
her hair briefly flashed briefly across her
mind, but she banished it quickly.
<He has nothing to do with it.> She told
herself, as she dunked her head under the water
to rinse the soap out.
She stood, slicking her hair back and
waiting for the water to get out of her eyes.
She felt a little tingle. She froze. Something
felt...different. There was a subtle change in
the air. She felt a draft waft over her body, as
her ears registered the muted hush of a large
crowd. She wiped the rest of the water out of
her eyes and opened them.
She was standing completely naked in the
middle of the Throne Room. She blinked calmly,
then rapidly used her powers to examine the last
few hours around her bathing room. She could
detect nothing, yet SOMEONE had obviously placed
a teleportation matrix in her bathtub. The fact
that she couldn't find anything meant that it
Her eyes narrowed, and she slowly searched
the room for her target. There. Talking to a
slim, white-haired man, facing away from her.
She stalked towards the soon-to-be-dead victim.
She pulled the Time Staff out of Un-space as
she walked. She silently moved behind the person
Beat Nemesis over the head with the Time
Staff, screaming the entire time.
Once Nemesis was a bloody mess on the floor,
she took a deep breath (doing interesting things
to her chest in the process), turned, and
started to calmly walk out of the Throne Room.
"What are YOU staring at?" she snapped
harshly at a young noble who looked to be in a
state of shock. He fainted. Pluto sniffed and
continued on her way.
Nemesis' companion looked down at him.
"All right, you win. Her hair color IS
natural." His voice was faintly surprised.
"Shut up, Artemis." Nemesis groaned as he
stood up. "That woman can HIT!"
"What insanity made you decide to DO that?
Pissing off Pluto is not a good way to lengthen
your life span." Artemis asked, shaking his
Nemesis paused in wiping the blood of his
face. He shrugged as he pointed to the center of
the room. "The same kind of insanity that made
me do THAT."
"Huh?" Artemis turned his head just in time
to see the Senshi, both Elder and Younger, get
teleported into the center of the Throne Room.
Naked, of course.
"I left white hair by the teleport matrixes
for them." Nemesis informed him. Artemis looked
at him, his eyes going wide and his face pale.
"Might I suggest running? And changing into
a cat? You're harder to hit that way." Nemesis
grinned as Artemis took his advice and ran like
the hounds of Hell were after him. Which wasn't
far off, actually.
"What the hell was that?!" Rei demanded,
halfway in a panic.
"That was a little trick I learned to do
sometime around 3 AD. It allows you to share
your memories with other people. It's useful in
situations like this." Setsuna calmly replied.
"He teleported us into the Throne Room butt-
naked. Please tell me we got him back." Haruka
stated in a too-calm voice.
"You got him back. Or at least gave it a
good shot. You waited until the next time he was
in the public baths, then stole his clothes, and
asked Queen Serenity to summon him."
"Excellent." Haruka grinned.
Setsuna continued. "He then walked to the
Throne Room from the far side of the Palace,
where the baths were located. Without his
"He walked through the entire Palace buck-
naked?" Makoto asked, incredulously.
"No. He was nude, not naked. In order to be
'naked', you have to care. He didn't. Being
raised by Arik, he had NO nudity taboo. He wore
clothes because they let him hide weapons better
and provided some protective properties."
Setsuna sighed, then asked rhetorically, "Have
you ever tried to embarrass someone with no
sense of modesty, and no shame? It isn't easy."
"I can imagine." Ami stated dryly. She
opened her mouth to continue, but was
interrupted by a beeping from the Mercury
"Ah, man! Why now?" Minako whined as Ami
grabbed the Computer and began typing like
Ami went pale. "There are at least 20
individual disturbances." She whispered in a
"Let's go." Setsuna's voice was flat.
To be continued in Part B
Ever wonder if there are others of Yoda's race,
and if they speak the same way?
Imagine the Yoda-men in the office, around the
Yoda 1: Hello, Bill.
Yoda 2: Morning, Hank.
Yoda 1: Finish that proposal you did?
Yoda 2: Yes, finally. Quite a chore it was.
Yoda 1: That Henderson, a slave driver he is, eh?
Yoda 2: Yes. To kick his ass I'd like. "There
is no try, only do." Asshole he is.
(From a conversation with PatchMonkey.)
After finishing a story:
If you liked the story, drink a bottle to celebrate.
If you disliked the story, drink two bottles to cheer you up.
If you're apathetic, then drink till you care, dammit!
(From a Slayers drinking game.)
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