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In 1994, I started to watch Anime seriously. The following
year, I realized that my limited student's budget could not hope to
fulfill my hunger for the stuff. To keep from losing my sanity, I
began to search out fanfictions that involved Anime. The first thing I
happened across was the horrid 'Best Fiance' self-insertion thread on
rec.arts.anime. You may know this better at the GRIT, or Global Ranma
Insertion/Insanity Thread.
A thirsty man will drink muddy water with the same zest as
Evian, I guess.
In time, I became acquainted with the works of some of my
favorite authors, Scott Jamison, Caroline Seawright, and John Biles. I
kept reading references to the FFML and wondered... "Hmm... I wonder
if that's any good."
After I exhausted the RAAS/RAAC archives of Ranma fanfiction,
and started to write my own, I subscribed. I think it was late 1995.
Maybe early '96.
More than once, I've endured threads about how crappy the list
has gotten, mostly by people who weren't subbed the last time the
subject came up. There have been many ups and downs in the last 5-6
years, but more ups than downs. I've had the opportunity to talk with
good, talented authors and new writers. I've had the opportunity to
have fun and read stories that made my eyes water. I've laughed. I've
cried. I've MiSTed.
I'd like to thank Whitewolf (Cherry Tiger) for providing such
an invaluable resource to me and the rest of the community. I'd like
to hope that he is able to find a good, fat pipe to plug the FFML box
into. Even if he does not, I would like to publicly thank him for his
time and effort. If you think it's an easy thing to administer a
website or a list, you're seriously mistaken. There is a *lot* of
gruntwork, blood and sweat that goes into maintaining such a high-
volume resource, especially when it goes pooka as the FFML was wont to
do when we spammed it into incoherence.
When the FFML goes down tommorrow, I will be available for C&C
and posting new stories on Desaix's FFMLRefuge list for the duration.
(Send a message to FFMLRefuge@listbot.com). You will also be able to
read any of my stories at http://www.furinkan.net/fanfic
You can also get ahold of me by mailing guilty@furinkan.net
When (I refuse to say 'if') the FFML comes back up, I'll be back
like a shot.
Now, to keep things from being totally pointless, here's a bit of
silliness hinted at in the subject line:
----------------------------------------
The Unbearable Lightness of being Tofuu
a Ranma 1/2 short by Chris Jones
----------------------------------------
"Hello?" Kasumi greeted the white-coated man curiously.
"Ah, miss Tendou! I'm glad to meet you."
"Ara!" Kasumi said, nervously noting the 'Nerima Psychiatric
Institute' nametag attached to the man's breast pocket. "You're not
here for Ranma and his friends are you?"
"Of course not Miss Tendou. I'm here for you... rather--"
"Oh, there must be a mistake!" Kasumi said. "I've been taking
my medication very regularly ever since the incident at the Tokyo
Tower. Why, I don't even *own* an overcoat anymore! I even gave all my
body-paints to my little sister."
The man chuckled nervously. He scrubbed at his thinning white
hair and wondered exactly what kind of woman his friend had fallen in
love with.
"Ah, you must misunderstand why I am here. I'm a colleague of
Tofuu Ono, a chiropractor who speaks highly of you."
"Oh, you're Tofuu-sensei's friend!"
"Yes. I'm also his physician right now. Tofuu has placed
himself in my care in order to try to overcome a certain psychological
problem he's been fighting."
"Oh?"
"You might have noticed his absence for the that last few
months," the white-haired psychiatrist said. "He's been in my care.
We've been working diligently, but..."
"Yes?"
"Well," the doctor said, "my friend Tofuu has asked me to come
here today as an in-between."
Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise. Her hand went to her mouth
in surprise and tears began to form at the corner of her eyes. "Tofuu-
sensei wants to have an omiai with me? Me? Really?!"
(Omiai: Traditional Japanese 'Marriage Meeting'.)
The doctor nodded. "There's a problem, however. Tofuu has a
certain... Well, let me put it bluntly. He can't control himself when
he's in your presence. You may have noticed this."
"Not really," Kasumi said, wistfully clasping her hands
together. "Tofuu-sensei has always been the kindest, sweetest silliest
man. I've never noticed any odd behavior."
"Mmm..hhmm..." the doctor pulled out a legal pad and began to
take notes. "Yes. Well... Tofuu's treatment has reached a plateau. I
don't believe he'll make any more progress without your help. I was
hoping you'd spend a few days at our institute in order to aid with
Tofuu's desensitization treatment."
"Okay!" Kasumi replied happily. "What should I bring?"
"Do you still own a high-school uniform?"
"Yes, but I'm not sure it still fits." Kasumi blushed slightly
and averted her eyes. "I've grown and... filled out... a bit since I
graduated."
"That will suit our needs almost perfectly, Tendou-san."
* * *
"She really came?" Tofuu asked, his eyes lighting up with
glee. "She really agreed?"
"Of course she did, Tofuu-kun," the doctor told him. "Now if
you'll step in here we can sit down and chat for a few moments
about--"
Tofuu walked into the next room. "Why hello, Kas-- ACK!"
Kasumi arched her back and let one hand slide down the front
of her skirt. "I'm not sure the uniform really fits anymore, Tofuu-
sensei, but Aro-sensei said that you would really like it."
"ACK! ACK! ACK! ACK!"
Kasumi took a deep breath, straining the cotton blouse she
wore to its very limits. The light blue fabric of the Furinkan high
issue jumper rode up dramatically with every breath. Giving testament
to Kasumi's last growth spurt, the flared skirt barely covered her
hips. The girl kept tugging it down slightly, trying to keep it from
riding up over the bottom of her thin cotton panties.
"ACK! ACK! ACK! ACK!"
"Do you like my uniform, Tofuu-sensei?" Kasumi asked in a
petulant voice, unsure of her appearance.
"Why hello, Kasumi! What strange thing it is to meet you here
of all places!"
"Tofuu-sensei?"
The chiropractor rocked back, blood jetting from each nostril.
He impacted the floor like a board, rattling back and forth stiffly
before he came to a stop.
"Oh, Tofuu-sensei, you big silly!" Kasumi giggled cutely. "You
always play the funniest pranks!"
Aro rubbed his hands through his thin white hair and sighed at
the sight. "We have further to go than I thought," he said sadly.
* * *
"Okay, Tofuu, you can open your eyes," Aro instructed. "Start
at the bottom and work your way up like we discussed, okay?"
Tofuu nodded and let his eyelids part slightly. He glanced
across the floor until he came to a pair of black pumps with a short
stiletto heel. Kasumi's, he knew.
"Teehee!" the girl giggled.
Tofuu gulped loudly, fixing his eyes on the girl's feet. He
cleared his throat, fighting for control. "Hello, Kasumi. How are you
doing today?" he asked in a strained tone.
"I'm just fine, Tofuu-sensei! What do you think of my outfit?"
Trembling, Tofuu let his eyes dart a bit higher. Kasumi's
slender calves were clad in sheer, black hosiery. The light glinted
off the fabric and stabbed into his retina. By the time he reached her
knees, he was fairly shaking.
Tofuu fixed the idea of Kasumi in a nice dress-suit in his
mind, with the hem of the skirt falling just above her shapely knees.
Using the image to try to calm himself, he allowed his eyes to drift
higher.
The hem of the skirt kept rising in Tofuu's mental image.
"Keep going, Tofuu-kun!" Aro-sensei encouraged him.
Tofuu's eyes crossed the top of Kasumi's thigh-high stockings.
"EEEEP! HEeeeeeeEEEEEE!" The man cried before he began to run
in short circles. Just before he lost conscious rationality, the image
of Kasumi in a leotard, stockings and big, floppy bunny ears burned
itself into his hindbrain.
"Ara... Is he okay?" Kasumi asked of the man kicking himself
around in circles on the floor."
"He should be," Aro said in a defeated tone. "It's not good
for his heart, but he's fairly strong. Let's give him a few hours to
calm down and try again."
* * *
"Tofuu-sensei!" Kasumi said, clad in her nurses' uniform.
"Time for your sponge bath!"
"Aiyyeeeeeeee!"
* * *
"Gahagahahaghahghgghaa..."
Kasumi pursed her lips thoughtfully. Tofuu-sensei certainly
seemed to be making some odd noises. Strapped into the chair like he
was, Kasumi began to wonder if he was uncomfortable. Still, as Aro-
sensei had told her, it was all part of his treatment.
Kasumi didn't understand what dusting had to do with
treatment, but Aro-sensei assured her that it would help Tofuu. They
certainly gave her a nice outfit to do the dusting in!
Kasumi bent over to skiff the feather duster back and forth
over the table-top. Her short, black skirt rode deliciously up the
backs of her thighs as she did so, displaying more of Kasumi's fishnet
stocking-clad legs than Tofuu believed he had ever seen on any woman
before.
"...gahaghghgaaghghgghahghghgaaaa..."
* * *
"Kasumi, would you... marry me?" Tofuu asked.
Tears in her eyes, Kasumi nodded happily and threw her arms
around the doctor.
"Oh, Tofuu-sensei! I'm so happy!"
Shaking, Tofuu gently patted the girl's back and held her
close to him.
"Can I take off the gorilla suit now and put the bunny suit
back on?" Kasumi asked.
"Just a few more minutes dear one," Tofuu said, eyeing his new
fiancee nervously.
-----------------------------------
^_^
Good luck, WW!
C.
* * *
C. Jones - http://www.coredata.net
bus: cjones@coredata.net
per: guilty@furinkan.net
tel: (806) 372-7520 x 236