Oooh! Oooh! An Inu-Yasha fan fiction!
On Sun, 28 Jan 2001, Gary Kleppe wrote:
"Here's a question for you," she said. "Where do the shadows go when you
switch on the light?"
Uh-oh...I'm getting a bad feeling here...
Otherwise, at best
she wouldn't tell me anything. At worst, well... I knew what she'd done
that had gotten her locked up in this place.
This reads somewhat awkwardly to me. I'd suggest substituting "she
wouldn't tell me anything" for something like "she'd just rant
incoherently" or something similar.
A sly smile crept across her face as her answer sounded through the
telephone receiver in my ear.
I know what you're saying, but I still want to ask, "sounded like what?"
The
Kagome Higurashi story.
Oh you bastard! I was hoping against hope it wouldn't be her.
Hmmm, ways to get back at Mr. Kleppe...
Everyone wanted to
know what could have driven such an innocent-looking young woman,
someone who could have been anyone's next door neighbor, to murder five
people -- chosen at random, as far as anyone knew -- and in such a
grotesque fashion.
Let me guess. Ranma, Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, and Ryoga, right? :P
But only if I could get her to talk to me.
I don't sense enough intensity on the part of the reporter. They still
only seem vaguely interested in hearing the story. Perhaps if you inserted
some sweaty palms or other signs of nervousness...
Her eyes gazed at me,
Eyes do that sometimes.
It was the response I'd hoped for. So why did I feel as if she were a
spider and I had just blundered into her web?
So it's not Kagome, but Yura of the Hair! Okay then.
"I'll tell you my story," she repeated. "The story of a rather typical
teenage girl, who was concerned with the usual things that are usually
on a teenage girl's mind --
sex, violence...oh wait, that was just in the New York Times...
In the center of the
storm, a pair of eyes could be seen, their fluorescent red gaze piercing
through the blackness.
Isn't fluorescent red pink in color? Did Inu-Yasha give everyone a case of
pink-eye?
"I am saying," she replied with the serene acceptance that only the aged
seemed able to achieve, "that only something beyond the two of us can be
victorious here."
Nice scene, and a good line. Yes indeedy.
Thunder exploded from above. With a giant whoosh of wind, black rain
began to pound against the barrier.
....nothing lasts forever in the cold November raiiiiiin..... :P
Above it all hovered Kikyo, observing, fully aware of all that was
happening below but caring not the slightest.
A somewhat stilted phrasing, but it works.
"No trick." The skirt of her school uniform flapped in the howling wind.
"Take it."
"Your skirt? I suppose I did always covet that supple green material!"
"Yes, take it...and the rest of my clothes!"
The girls squared off to do....NAKED BATTLE!!
Hiroshi: I didn't know there would be hot GIRL ON GIRL action in this fic!
"Kagome!" Inu-Yasha rushed to the fallen girl, with Kaede following
behind him. "You fool, why did you have to sacrifice yourself?"
Nobody can ever take a damn pulse.
"What's going on?" she said. "Am I late for school or something?"
See, I love Kagome. How can you be mean to her? (says the author of
Olvido...)
Acknowledgements and other author's notes to follow part two. All C&C is
welcomed and appreciated.
These early fics about an unfinished series are interesting to say the
least. I'm enjoying it so far, and absolutely want to see more!
Take care,
Colleen