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INVISIBLE SHADOWS
Inu-Yasha manga fanfiction
by Gary Kleppe
Ah! An Inu-Yasha fic; intriguing!
"Here's a question for you," she said. "Where do the shadows
go when you switch on the light?"
Odd opening, but I think it works, as a hook as least. ("Why
such an odd opening," the reader thinks. "I'd better read
farther and find out!")
she wouldn't tell me anything. At worst, well... I knew what
she'd done that had gotten her locked up in this place.
Urk!
mind. The Kagome Higurashi story. My ticket to fame and fortune. Her
arrest had been the lead story on the television news for three
straight months.
Implant that hook firmly! (Actually, I feel a bit like Colleen; "how
DARE" he do this to Kagome...")
Everyone wanted to know what could have driven such an innocent-
looking young woman, someone who could have been anyone's next door
neighbor, to murder five people -- chosen at random, as far as anyone
knew -- and in such a grotesque fashion. Everyone wanted to know why,
and I was going to be the one to tell them.
Several interesting points here: "young woman" can imply that this
takes place a number of years after the manga. Also, there's a
certain unpleasant ruthlessness that this reporter is displaying.
It was the response I'd hoped for. So why did I feel as if she were a
spider and I had just blundered into her web?
Because you are?
Inu-Yasha pointed beyond the protective bubble, to the
gathering storm.
"What is that thing your sister has conjured, old woman?"
A very good job, I thought, with Inu-Yasha's dialog. He sounds
just like in the (Viz translated) manga here.
The rain gushed down unstoppably. Hot and sticky like molten tar, it
burned with its touch. An unlucky few who hadn't made it to shelter
could only watch in horror for a few stunned seconds as their flesh
dissolved, washing away like dirt. Mercifully quick deaths, at least.
The rain's poisons would seep gradually into the soil and water,
accumulating in the vegetation like rust on metal, passed
from plant to animal to human. For such persons, the end would be
slow and agonizingly painful.
You're keeping Takahashi's tone intact here, too. I-Y, unlike some
other Takahashi series, has more than its share of horrendous moments,
and you convey them well.
Kagome forced herself to break contact. She knew that if she stepped too
close to the dark pit of Kikyo's mind, she would slip and plummet down
to unimaginable depths. *She can't really be me,* Kagome thought.
Whoever had come up with that reincarnation theory had to have been
mistaken. There was no way that she could ever feel such hatred, could
harm innocent people so callously.
Oh well, now THIS thought is just begging for it...
"What's going on?" she said. "Am I late for school or something?"
Loss of (at least) short-term memory? Or is this now the corrupted
Kikyo?
"So you didn't die after all?" I asked. Stupid question, of course, to
ask someone who I was speaking to. "Why not?"
"ask of someone to whom I was speaking"? It's not quoted speech, so
maybe it should be proper grammer? Then again, maybe not... It reads
a bit awkward to me as is, but a not-quite-formal tone seems appropriate.
course, but beneath it all, there was... something. I didn't know what
it was, or even what made me think so. But it was something big, maybe
even bigger than the book I was planning. And I was going to find out
what it was.
My, my, even bigger than his book? Now that IS big... (heh). But, it
reinforces that this reporter is himself not an appealing personality.
Arrogance, added to everything else.
Intriguing start; I'm looking forward to more.