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It would be very very hard for me to go through this line for line and point
out the
occasional (and I mean VERY occasional mispelling...not that I'm the best
judge of
that mind you) and grammer point.
$I understand. Not only is it rather large for detailed C&C, I also spent
a solid month on editing. I've found it helps to wait a week or so before
rereading it. All mistakes (and I really hoped I'd gotten them all, but I
just reread it again and noticed a few more) are my fault alone. Prereaders
would be nice, but no one really wants to do that. I'm grateful to a few
people for answering my questions, though.
And I must say that's one of the things about this
fic that made it worth reading.
$Damn. I'd hoped that the near constant stream of bad sexual puns and
fanservice would have caught your eye first. Oh, well, back to wordpad.
I've been reviewing Tenchi Fanfiction now for over 2 years. I have seen
some of the
best and the worst...the worst being on the rise since the Cartoon Network
primier of
Tenchi Muyo.
$Which is primarily what I went by with this, and I didn't manage to see
all the episodes. That's why I wasn't sure if I'd gotten the layout and
location of Kiyone and Mihoshi's apartment correct. If it's wrong and isn't
beside the train/subway tracks, I can easily rewrite it so that it was a car
going by, though.
This was by far one of the most erotic, naughty, mischeivous, funny, clever,
and just
downright awesome fics I have read in quite a long time.
$Stop it, you're making me blush. Thank you. I've had people use six
adjectives in one line to describe something I've written before, but it's
never been complimentary. Thanks again.
I'd have to say this is
close on to Aikan Muyo levels, and THAT is saying something right there.
$That _is_ quite an honor, but I wouldn't go that far. I made no effort to
keep the internal strife going and interesting, so if I continue it it'll
have to be all external conflict. Barring a little infighting or something,
of course. It's not very long, unlike AM, and my half-assed attempt to keep
the reader wanting more at the end is nothing compared to the way Aikan Muyo
just stopped and is still driving people who want to see more crazy. Still,
even being called a pale copy of that is a compliment.
It would be impossible for me to go through and point out every last little
thing I
found amusing, funny, or just plain liked about this fic.
$That few, ne? ^_^
I've already shared it
with many who could not see it, as they were not on the FFML, but they've
also
expressed these sentiments as well, and you'll probably hear from a few of
them.
$I'd planned to post it on the Tenchi mailing list, but wanted to see how
it went over here first.
All I can say in closing, is that it was my great pleasure to read this. I
had a lot
of fun.
$And that's all I really ask for.
I hope to see more of your works in the future. ^_^
$Just don't read anything I've written in the past. Well, there were a few
recent spamfics that weren't too bad, but by and large I havn't been very
good. But I _am_ improving. ^_^ Just because the humor is crude doesn't
mean the writing has to be.
Thanks for the comments!
Ragun