Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
Chapter 6
Shall we?
NB: This one is very much IM<not humble at all>O and should be taken as
such.
"EX-HUSBAND, YOU ASSHOLE!" The gun was now quivering in her hand. "We've
been divorced for over sixteen years!"
I seem to recall Kei leaving Iria 15 years ago from your mention in
previous chapters. Am I wrong or is this a reflection on the change of
ages?
Standing off to the side, Kei was still trying to process the information.
Having little luck with the effort, she turned to give Iria a wide-eyed
look. "You were married and you didn't tell me?"
married,
"Like what?" Kei asked, missing whatever was now passing between the former
spouses.
I'll point this out now, and mention it again in a few other places. My
main problem with this chapter is I think there's a bit too much
exposition. Kei asking, "Like what?" plus the other actions of the DP
clearly show she hasn't a clue. You've introduced the readers to this
situation with about the same amount of foreknowedge as them. We know they
haven't a clue what's Killgore's problem with Iria's calling him Lance, in
no small part, for me at least, because I have no clue what's Killgore's
problem with being called Lance. You do an excellent job of conveying
confusion, anger, irritation etc. with the dialogue and actions. The
narrative statements confirming it are fairly unnecessary.
"Yes. Like what, Lance?" Iria teased.
Smiling sweetly?
Killgore's composure finally broke, though only by a very slight degree.
"Damn it, woman! You know I hate that name."
Case in point. Really quickly you reveal very well Iria and KG know each
other very well and know the exact buttons to push. The change of Iria's
personnality from cool-minded vengeance crazed psycho to incredibly
irritated, almost juevenile, vengeance crazed psycho at KG's tiny barbs
come across clearly.
That shook Kei out of her stupor. "Why? Lance sounds much better than
Eugene." A lot better. She always pictured 'Eugene's as nerdy eggheads that
got high marks in school and ruined the grading curve for everyone else,
like her. Actually, almost everyone else tended to ruin the grading curve
for her. But those were the worst of the lot.
And Yuri.
The opinion made Killgore shake his head vigorously. "No way. It makes me
sound like some pathetic holo action hero or something. I only let other
people call me Killgore for business reasons, since the name seems to work
well in attracting potential clients. Natural advertising, in a way, I
guess." He shrugged at the idea, seeming to consider it a necessary evil.
The necessary evil bit is that extra exposition coming through. I'd leave
it at him shrugging.
"Wait!" Killgore shouted at the men, who instantly responded to his command.
"These are allies. They've already infiltrated the target area and have
begun a mop up operation." He turned to Iria and Kei. "Do you have any other
comrades in the building?"
Well trained, we see.
A low growl issued from Iria. Kei saw that the muscles in her face were
twitching madly and she was fingering the butt of her holstered pistol
again.
madly,
Jealousy? Or she hates his guts and doesn't want his hooks into Kei? My
guess is the latter.
The growl was joined by a snort of derision from one of the newcomers. Of
all the men in the room, his outfit was easily the most fashionable, even
more tasteful then Killgore's. It was immaculate, mostly white with deep red
along the center of the torso and shoulders, traveling down the front of the
legs and reaching towards stylish black boots. The footwear was possibly the
same brand as Killgore's though a great deal smaller, as though the man had
very dainty feet. He was about even height with Kei and slender, with flaxen
brown hair that traveled down his back in a wave that made Kei react in
envy. The troubleshooter noted that he too was handsome, though in a very
different manner from Killgore. Where the big man was all mass and virility,
the newcomer was lean and trim, almost effeminate, though not in an
unattractive way.
Is this dude really a chick?
Giving a growl that was almost as angry as Iria's had been earlier, Kei
reached up to her earring, the communications device that she shared with
Yuri. She gave her partner a quick summery of what had happened and what to
Thought they had radio's in their little cyber-jacks. Oh well.
As he came up from his bow, Kei noticed something odd about him. In the
space below his right eye and next to his nose were what she thought at
first were moles, but upon closer inspection proved to be a trio of tiny
you need that comma?
"You're a Samisdat," Kei said softly as she reacted automatically to the
perception that her life was in danger. As a member of the 3WA she was
familiar with the Samisdat Assassins reputations, what little there was.
Details were sketchy, outside that they were reputed to be among the top
assassins in the galaxy, taking a minimum of two million credits for a hit,
and having no openly acknowledged failures to date. And that each member
bore a trio of teardrop tattoos under the right eye in the order of scarlet,
purple and black. No one knew where they were headquartered, how many there
were, how they were recruited, who led them, or any other meaningful
information. All that truly existed of them were a host of wild, vague
rumors, none of which were ever proven true.
Except for the one bit of knowledge which everybody knew, the tattoos. I
take it these bad boys are famous, well known, and all that? So they let
the word out that cool assassins have tattoos, every poser gets them, and
then no one cares about them. Good camo.
That confirmed it for Kei. Anyone not of the Samisdat getting the tattoo
most likely would have bragged about it, but this man dismissed it casually
in afterthought, as though it were a matter of no consequence. There was
Or he could have been young and drunk, took far too much BS because of it,
and as such now just found them annoying. Webs o' suspicion indeed.
also the way he carried himself, seeming at ease, yet giving out an aura of
that hinted at potential violence. Only Kei's trained eyes picked up on the
subtle signs that indicated he was ready for action, despite his seemingly
at ease posture.
double seemingly at ease wording intentional?
unfair here. I always did fun things with you. I think you're having a bad
case of rewriting history."
"The hell I am, you sleazy, rotten, bucket of sh-"
I don't think she likes him.
"How about the fact your a backstabbing untrustworthy asshole?" Iria
offered.
you're
"At least we're not the frigid one," the attractive man countered.
"Sure about that, Mr. 2-inches?"
Iria and KG, finally sick of Kei and Cross's bickering, smacked them both.
"Once you get to know him, it's surprisingly easy," Iria assured Yuri while
shooting yet another disapproving glare towards Kei.
Now Iria is Badass #1 so far in this fic, to me, and as such I'm inclined
to believe that KG probably is as bad, or at least close, as she says he
is. As such, he has just become my favorite character. I hope he turns
evil.
it was obvious none of the additions would be heavy weapons. Still,
professional assassins tended to be known for precision, not ungodly
firepower. Such an attitude was almost an anathema to Kei's sensibilities.
One could never have too much firepower.
I think those final two sentences should have been shown, not told. eg,
"No ungodly firepower? Kei shrugged and decided some people just didn't
grasp a few key issues."
Kei noted that he sounded disappointed at the loss, though it seemed more at
the lack of survivors and not being able to handle an interrogation. She
Hm. He actually cares about people surviving? Interesting.
also noted that Killgore's butt looked really nice as she moved around
slightly to get a better view of it.
And we have a nice contrast between the two hormonally overactive TCs and
everyone else.
"Drop dead," Bob retorted.
And we see the calm one dislikes KG as well. He's rising rapidly in my
estimation.
"I'll still be slicing through encryptions when the only crypt in our life
is the one you're rotting in," Bob swore.
I'm going to have to give that one a bomb on the insult-o-meter. Bob
looses points for an insult too long and not funny. Do get the impression
that Bob dislikes KG so much he's not quite as witty as normal.
violence went from next to nothing to imminent. Everyone that was save for
Cross, who seemed as relaxed as ever.
Methinks he's the most dangerous one. And I still think he's actually a
woman.
It was Iria who expressed the only dissenting opinion. "Screw him. We don't
One would imagine that hasn't happened in 16 years.
Every word hurt Kei worse than the thousand of curses others had used
against her by others.
huh?
"I killed him on my own once before." There wasn't the slightest hint of
doubt in Iria's voice as to her what course she was going to take.
'her' necessary?
"We cannot team up with that... man!" Iria spat.
Wild line of speculation. Killy is odviously very attractive and very
charismatic. He's also scum. Could Iria be worried that if she deals with
him extensively again, she might find out he has changed and be attracted
to him again, something she'd odviously not want? So far her actions could
be interpretted as lending evidence in that direction.
"I wish he was dead!"
Put a hit on him and be done with it then. Sheesh.
Kei blanched slightly at the viciousness Iria was displaying. This was even
worse than the hatred she usually reserved for Zeiram. "Well, it's normal
for there to be a lot of animosity in these situations. But take a step back
and look at what's going on. Our luck gunning for Zeiram is absolute zero.
Lots of people are dying. We aren't getting any closer to stopping him, and
it might already be too late to help the people at Baltron. We haven't been
able to cut it alone. I think we can trust him enough use his help to stop
Zeiram. Once that's done, you'll never have to see him again."
These people need to start constructively using nuclear weaponry.
The question made Iria's face contort, her anger abating ever so slightly.
"The details aren't important."
Now Kei knew she was hiding something. There was little doubt Iria was
telling the truth about Killgore killing whoever it was she had been
referring to, at least from her perception, but the details were probably
very 'important.'
Another bit that might be better shown than told. And important would be
the right word for that sentence, so the quotes may be unnecessary.
you up in orbit. I want to be there when he talks to you. I've gotten better
at telling when he's lying.
His mouth is moving?
Really, this KG guy sounds like he should run for office.
Kei held a mixture of the two feelings. Her head trusted Iria's judgment,
but her heart, or more properly her lust, made her want to think Killgore
wasn't all that bad. Certainly Iria was painting a worse picture than what
Is this narrative exposition or thought? Most people don't think about
themselves so accurately and objectively, and my knowledge of the DP tends
to lean towards that.
time for any leopard to change its stripes, she told herself. And people
tended to learn from their past mistakes, so why couldn't Killgore have
learned from his?
Mainly because he's just scum.
way deeper into the ship, Yuri noted that Kei had dropped behind her
slightly and struck up a quiet conversation with the shorter of their
escort. Eavesdropping, she heard Kei asking subtle (for her) questions of
the escort about Killgore and his crew. The shorter one remained pleasantly
I'd go with just he, instead of the shorter one.
The only real space in the room was towards the center. There was one larger
holographic projector in the middle and several rising levels of benches
that circled around it. There was also just the slightest bit of room for
someone to walk around the area to speak to others. The whole room gave the
effect that a horde of information was right at their fingertips. Very
impressive indeed.
I'm seeing Return of the Jedi. If I don't get a forest moon of Endor joke,
I'll sigh.
The mercenary beamed proudly around the room. "During the Farscots Police
Action, we were hired and sent out to 'neutralize' a prototype of a field
operations' center from the spacedock it was being completed at before it
operations_'_ <-?
"Like I said, you stole it," Iria said in disgust.
Hell, I'd do it.
One of the men took exception to that. He stood up, all six feet and three
inches of him, and approached the seated five two women. "I don't like your
tone, bitch."
<snip>
During the entire exchange, Iria had not moved from her seat. Instead, she
returned to the exact same posture she had before being attacked and
continued to scowl at Killgore.
Now that was to me pretty much pointless and distrupting.
1) Faceless goon attacks badass #1. Like there's a doubt who'll win.
2) Faceless goon is very well trained. If he wasn't as the other were, he
wouldn't be in the War Room. So he's got to know something of what's what.
Why then would he disrupt the meeting to pick a meaningless fight with
Iria?
3) Since we all saw how that would end up if it stayed in pure violence
from the beginning, why not spice it up? Have the faceless goon actually
win in a way, get a knife to her throat or something, and then have Iria
stare him down from there? or something similar.
4) These boys _are_ good, I gather. And morons don't live long as
mercenaries. Faceless goon seems really out of place.
5) Unless, that whole incident was staged to lead to something else. Maybe
I'm being paranoid.
Cross said, "Arty picked the fight. It's his problem, not ours." The others
nodded in agreement.
oooh. Faceless goon gets a name.
"This information exchange," Killgore clarified, smiling at Iria as he
accepted to her rephrasing. "As you might have guessed, when it became
obvious YSC's operations were coming under attack by a hostile force of
outsiders, they hired us to take care of matters. To that end we've been
pursuing Zeiram since he hit Asteroid K12."
And the lying begins.
For some reason, you've left me mildly suspicious of our dear boy Eugene,
and I can't imagine why.
"YSC tends to think of their employees as resources rather than people. The
that
bio-engineering: Professor Anton Scorphius."
The suspect.
Killgore shook his head. "No. Anton was well provided for by his brother,
not to mention the fact he made multi-millions in salary and stock options
as the head researcher in bio-engineering for YSC. His is one of the most
brilliant minds in this century, and they let him do whatever he wanted and
gave him whatever resources he needed when he worked for YSC."
So he's got no motive, no known means, and yet they're sure he's the
cause. My bullshit detector is beeping.
shuttle explosion some four years ago. It was only recently someone with,
how shall we say, their eyes and ears open in TC passed on information that
made my employers aware of this fact a couple of months ago. They were still
Hardly the iron-clad prosecution case.
"Intelligence indicates he is working of his own free will and quite
enthusiastically for them. And the data is reliable, so I have no reason to
reliable? A single mole in a foreign corporation who most likely hates
your employer is reliable?
"Right," Iria said slowly, obviously suspicious.
I'm with her.
That made Killgore wince slightly. "Since we're being completely open with
one another, I'll tell you. Actually Sarvgon is owned by a shell
corporation. It's real owners are YSC. For reasons they didn't get into, and
frankly I didn't care about, they didn't bother giving me full disclosure as
to why they set up a shell corporation instead of owning the operation above
the table."
And Killgore's just accepting this? Awful trusting.
it. I hope you're willing to trust me on this."
Kill him and take it anyway. That's my advice.
information I need to get this job done, and YSC isn't going to hold back
any information to get the job done, not with how they're suffering. I
unless they staged the whole thing and have fed you a load of horse
excrement for reasons not yet clear. Or you're in on it and feeding us a
line of horse byproducts as well.
wouldn't place my men in any unnecessary danger. Does that satisfy you?"
No. Iria and Bob both think you don't give a damn for your men, or anyone
save you, and again, I'm with them.
"It's bullshit, Lance," Iria stated flatly.
And the most beautiful part of all, Iria hates KG so much to begin with, a
lot of her arguments will be passed off as her lack of objectivity.
Ever so slightly Killgore's jaw seemed to twitch. Tension in the room
increased as his men began shifting uncomfortably. Only Cross seemed largely
unaffected, sending an irritated glare Iria's way and doing nothing else.
And Cross remains in the background. You wouldn't have created him and
left the other Mercs shallow if he didn't mean something. We shall watch
him suspiciously.
Then Killgore relaxed slightly. "Believe it or don't believe it, it's your
call. Now it's time to show me your goods."
The remark made Iria start to go for her gun when Kei placed a hand on top
of hers and reminded her mentor that he was referring about sharing their
Ehhhh. Come now. He said, "Show me your's, and I'll show you mine." or
somesuch earlier and no one reacted to the innuendo under a much more
stressful situation.
Killgore shrugged. "Don't look at me. I don't pretend to know what TC's
actual plan is. Maybe it's just a trial run with Zeiram and they want to
Zeriam,
The last comment brought a chortle to one of his men.
You wanna tell me which one? Please?
Iria couldn't believe what she was hearing. "He's a lying through his
teeth!"
The attitude Iria was displaying continued to wear upon Yuri. "We don't know
that. So far everything he's said has checked out. Even the stuff that
overlapped our information, and remember, he gave his first. He couldn't
possibly have changed his story to match ours like that. He sounds
legitimate, and we could use the help. Since neither you nor my partner want
me to contact 3WA headquarters for reinforcements, this is the only way we
can get the added firepower we need to take Zeiram out. And Cross is right.
In case you hadn't noticed, we haven't been doing too good on our own."
My my my, this is all playing out perfectly. I'm getting deeper and deeper
set in my suspicions. When you reveal I'm completely wrong, I'll appluade.
Killgore gave a sad glance at her departing form and let out a wistful sigh,
but said nothing to try to prevent her from leaving.
Damn, this boy's good.
"Yes sir," all of the men said crisply.
And Cross, who I still maintain is a woman, blew him a kiss and flashed
some cleavage.
His femiminity or lack thereof isn't connected with my conspiracy
theories and evidence against the one may not affect the other. Unless it
is, in which case I'm just amazingly cool.
shoulders, as though preparing himself for a long journey. "She didn't tell
you any specifics about the situation, did she?"
"She was real closed mouthed about it," Kei admitted.
"Good. Then this is what really happened. Really. I'm too handsome to lie
to you."
Assuming things were as simple as the tall man claimed. Though looking in
those deep brown eyes he possessed made Kei want to believe he was telling
the truth. It wouldn't be right for someone having eyes that sincere to be
lying to her.
I think I'll just leave that bit unsnipped. No reason.
Really.
"Still no word of problems coming from Baltron," Yuri announced as Kei
finally made her way to the bridge of the Lovely Angel.
Because they're all dead?
"I know what you meant." Or Kei thought she did. Did Yuri suspect Killgore
had hit on her? She wasn't sure, but her raven-haired partner was a superior
a superior detective? As compared to herself? Or a superior detective in
relation to normals?
jump in the sack with Killgore already. Really, the woman almost never
showed restraint when some attractive guy caught her eye. Her idea of
'taking time and letting a relationship evolve' usually consisted of two
whole dates before hitting the sheets and engaging in a round of the
horizontal bop.
You sound as if that's a bad thing.
The sound of a seven foot and four hundred and fifty kilogram mass of drug
enhanced muscle with a cybernetic reinforced skeletal structure hitting the
metal of the deck came from outside the room.
I liked that. Lots.
She was halfway to the door when she turned and said, "By the way, Cross is
gay and has the hots for you."
Killgore gave a haughty smile that made Iria's brows furrow in irritation.
"Of course he does. How else do you think I could keep a Samisdat assassin
on my payroll? Sometimes I even flirt back with him to keep him around. He's
really one of the best. Almost as good as me."
That would explain the vibes.
about that little detail, or their conversation at all. There was no telling
how she would react if she thought Kei was seriously interested in the
mercenary, but it would probably involve excessive amounts of bloodshed and
violence.
I say again, you act as if that's a bad thing.
"She might not be happy about it," Iria admitted. "But it's a reasonable
request and it'll get her out of harm's way. Both her and Yuri know there's
request,
In general:
The too much exposition thing did detract to me. I didn't point out too
many because I was trying to enjoy the fic, and that's hard to do while
being anal. I'd try to slim down anytime you, the narrator, comment on the
motives anyone does anything.
Killgore=scum
I REALLY like that character.
I'm finding it harder and harder to believe YSC is the victim. I'll try
to go back through a few old chapters and see if I can dredge up any
evidence.
I liked this one. I got to be all distrustful and paranoid. Besides, I
always root for the bad guys. They just don't win enough.
DB Sommer
Miashara