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$Oh, hey cool! A GSC fanfic! And it's a good one! That deserves special
attention!
All comments my opinon, heavy snippage throughout. Feel free to take
offense, but keep in mind it's all in jest.
Back in the Saddle
<snip>
^�Hon what you^�re riding right now is a Ducati M900 Monster. I can catch
$Hon, what
This thing is so big I'm going to have to skim harder than usual. If I
miss any errors, umm... Sorry? Personally, I'd of preferred that you broke
it up into 20k bits and posted it over time. Makes it a lot easier to give
detailed C&C.
this little pissant, run rings around him at 120, and hog-tie him before
he notices me.^�
Rally nodded, gripping the tall woman tightly as they edged up to 120,
then 130. The Trans Am did spot them, however, and it sped up, weaving
in and out of traffic.
^�Yessir - that^�s exactly what I want you to do^�come to mama^�^� Cowboy^�s
$Should have also turned the auto replace off. ... gets changed to ^� and
many comps won't show that correctly.
voice was low in Rally^�s ear and she shivered. Their speed climbed.
^�Hey Cowboy. How fast can this thing go?^�
$Hey, Cowboy
She heard Cowboy chuckle. ^�How fast you want to go, darlin^�?^�
$Ayeah, that pretty much sums it up.
Rally felt something inside her build. ^�As fast as I can.^� She said and
shouted with joy as they edged up past 150.
Rally had the sensation that they were surfing. Time had stopped and the
highway was one big wave. The rush of air was nothing like she had ever
felt before. Speed in her Cobra was like the best sex possible, but
this^�this was even better. She could feel the throb of the engines
between her legs; the wind pulled at her, asking her to fly with it. She
could hear her heart pounding and the whine of a finely built machine
gripping the pavement below. Cowboy was tall in the saddle in front of
her and Rally had the oddest sensation - she had no idea what it was,
but was something close to euphoria, she was sure.
Cowboy^�s voice intruded on her thoughts. ^�You still got that little pop
gun you had back there?^� Rally made an affirmative noise. ^�Good - I^�m
going to pull up, then we^�re blowin^�. You think you can take out the
driver before he kills us?^�
Rally laughed. ^�Try me.^�
It was amazing - like skating on ice. The Ducati sidled up tot the
Trans Am as if it were standing still. Rally could see the window
lowering, and she timed her shot - she had to get them before the
shooter had a chance to take him aim. There it was - the driver turned
to look at her. With precision, Rally put a few slugs intro his arm and
then had to throw herself into Cowboy in order not to be ripped off the
back of the bike. Behind them, the Trans Am slid off the road. She
couldn^�t hear the crash - but she could imagine it.
^�200, darlin^�.^� Cowboy said quietly in her ear. ^�That fast enough for
you?^�
$Ah, Ducati. Proof that neither the Americans nor the Japanese know what
the hell they're doing with motorcycles. And yes, 200 is realistic. For
one rider. Adding a passenger to _any_ motorcycle reduces the maximum speed
considerably. On a skinny, streamlined bike like that, with no fairing to
block the wind, the extra wind resistance would slow it down a lot. Add to
that that they're not wearing gear, the wind burn would hurt so much that
neither of them would max it. You do _not_ do anything on a bike going that
fast but hunker down more. For this situation, I'd suggest the 150 range.
160 if you really want to push it. Even if the bike can handle it, flesh is
weak. I've got a 1200 Yamaha, no where near as well engineered a bike as
the Ducati, but I can hit 150. And at that speed I won't even turn my head
slightly, the wind hits that helmet wrong and makes it keep turning until
the straps catch. And it's a tight helmet.
Rally grinned and shifted her grip. ^�You bet! Ride ^�em Cowboy!^�
$Not till the lemon scene at the end.
<snip>
^�Exactly.^� Rally locked her feet under the chair and pushed back to lean
against the wall. She had changed into a crop top and shorts, but she
$Not panties? Aww, cutting back on the fanservice, are we?
<snip>
^�Hey darlin^�. I thought it was time to see your spread.^� She looked
$Hey, darlin'. I know, I know, it's not how it's said, I just call them as
the damn english teachers forced me to.
<snip>
Outside the bar, Cowboy said she^�d walk back to her place. ^�I got a
snoot full - the air^�ll do me good.^�
Rally opened the Cobra door. As she went to get in the car, she was
pulled back with a jerk and awkwardly embraced by a gushing Cowboy. Off
balance, Rally had to grab onto the woman to stay upright. She looked up
to find Cowboy^�s blue eyes crinkled up in a smile.
^�Hey, Rally, you^�re all right.^� Cowboy let Rally go so suddenly that she
stumbled back and fell into the driver^�s seat. She watched the tall
woman walk off somewhat unsteadily, until she couldn^�t see her anymore.
$She's drunk enough to giggle, but she's still driving? Bad call.
<snip>
^�What were you thinking Rally? You never drink this much.^� May looked
$thinking, Rally?
down at her friend.
<snip>
^�I mean,^� Cowboy said, her brows drawn together, ^�that the gun that put
this hole in my leg is made of compressed paper. After the job is done,
$Paper? Odd. I'm familiar with the plastic glock 9s you can find
occasionally, they'll fire a few rounds if you wait long enough for the
barrel to cool before fireing again. But paper? Okay...
it can be lit with a match and destroyed. They^�ve got a bunch of styles.
They chamber real ammo, and then, poof, they^�re gone. No weapon, no
evidence.^�
<snip>
As the door closed, the ^�sleeping^� figure smiled. ^�Yeah^�and my mama^�s a
$Mama's a
rattlesnake.^�
<snip>
^�No, not really. She^�s nice. But I think she^�s going to hurt you - one
way or another.^�
$Whether or not Rally likes it or not remains to be seen.
In the ensuing silence, May turned and left the shop.
<snip>
^�You^�re more likely to recognize anyone coming after you.^� Rally said
and went up to the bar to order some of Chicago^�s greasiest pizza and
worst beer.
$Ah. American beer. I see.
^�But,^� Rally explained. ^�what this place lacks for in
atmosphere and food, it makes up for in security. No one they don^�t know
ever makes it in.^�
<snip>
Rally hauled her arm out of Cowboy^�s grasp. ^�This isn^�t the time or
place for this, Cowboy^�^� but the tall woman interrupted her.
Standing slowly, looking down at Rally, Cowboy said, ^�You^�re wrong. This
is the perfect time and place for this. Whenever you need it is the
right time.^�
$_Except_! when that time could involve shooting and presonal risk.
Anyone that's been alive as long as CB would know that. I've got to
disagree, here, even considering the loss of blood.
<snip>
***
Rally looked at her watch. Fifteen more minutes and they could leave.
Cowboy lay on the desk on her back, with one arm over her eyes, one
behind her head. Rally stood by the door, still trying to think
straight.
Rally looked at her watch. Fifteen more minutes and they could leave.
Cowboy laid on the desk on her back, with one arm over her eyes, one
behind her head. Rally stood by the door, still trying to think
straight.
$Heh, deja vu. I think Rally's been looking at her watch too much.
<snip>
Rally came out of her room, looking worse than she had when she went to
sleep the night before. There were bags under her eyes, and her cheeks
looked sunken.
$Boy, Cowboy must have really worked her over last night.
Cowboy gave her a hard stare and plunked a plate with an
omelet, bacon and toast in front of her. May was already chowing down,
making happy eating noises. Cowboy seated herself at the table and
sipped from a cup of coffee.
<snip>
^�Now I want to shoot every goddamn finger off that sonofabitch who did
$sonovabitch. Or sumbitch, depending on the drawl.
<snip>
"Rall," Cowboy's voice was toneless. "that's the past for me. I'm more
interested in my present."
$Rally tied up in a ribbon. Yeah, I bet she would be interested.
<snip>
They could hear the explosion at the gate from where they crouched.
Rally pulled out a pair of wire cutters and snipped them a little hole
in the fence. The three women wiggled their way under the fence and were
$Suggest: cutters and snipped a little hole in the fence.
in. They could hear shouting, but turned away towards the loading dock.
People in work clothes were running towards the front gate. Rally, May
and Cowboy hunched down under a truck and watched the hubbub.
<snip>
The three women pressed on. They followed conveniently printed signs for
the processing plant. When they arrived, the plant was nearly empty. A
few plainclothes guards stood smoking, but there was little other
movement. Waving May to wait, Rally and Cowboy stepped forward, and
greeted the guards.
$stepped forward and greeted the
<snip>
As they came across the small forested area, they could hear dogs, but
the screech of tires drowned out the noise. Rally held her gun ready,
but the car that came up the road was her rental. Rally and Cowboy piled
in and Ken took off as fast as the car could move, while guards, led by
dogs, spilled out onto the road behind them, shouting, and firing
weapons.
$Only one dog was killed.
<snip>
^�Yea!^� May enthused. She leaned forward and put her arms around Ken^�s
$Yeah! (I think, you may have ment that.)
neck. ^�A night with my Kenny!^�
<snip>
Keaton shot Long a look,
$Keaton: I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes...
and approached Cowboy. ^�Hold her.^� Long
threaded his arms through her bound ones. He was a strong little weasel,
Cowboy thought. She struggled but he held her steady. She winced as the
needle punctured her skin, and tried to turn her head. Long^�s breath
rasped harshly in her ear and she could smell his breath.
<snip>
^�You little pervert.^� Cowboy hissed through the haze, ^�I^�ll carve you up
and eat you as breakfast sausage.^�
$I thought she didn't like sausage?
<snip>
Roy chewed his pizza with gusto, chugged a few swallows of beer, then
sat back, in a very receptive mood.
$Hmm... back in a very
<snip>
Roy made a face. ^�Long made a lot of mistakes. Including using unusual
ammo. Plus he had a strange quirk.^�
^�He carved his victim^�s names in the bullets he used to kill them.^�
Cowboy interrupted darkly. ^�Little pervert got off on it.^�
$Heh. Cute. Long: I've only got one bullet left, and it's got your name
on it.
<snip>
Cowboy sounded content to do so ,and for a very long time, but not long
$so, and
enough, stroked, squeezed and sucked on Rally, until she thought her
$Rally until
blood would burst from her body. Pressing herself against Cowboy^�s lean
form, Rally gasped repeatedly as tongue brushed over sensitive nipples.
Warmth, then coolness, as Cowboy lifted her self away, blew lightly on
$herself
Rally^�s skin. Never before had she felt so hard, so hot.
$But she's a- nevermind.
Rally ran one
leg up Cowboy^�s body, feeling smooth skin underneath her, trying to pull
the tall woman closer.
Cowboy began to kiss her way down Rally^�s body. Rally was ready for her
and wrapped her legs around the other woman. Cowboy brushed lightly at
Rally^�s belly, then drew her hand lower. She parted Rally, opening her,
then lowered her head once again to lick and suck at Rally^�s center.
$Her bellybutton?
It was nothing like a good day at the range. There was no way that this
sensation could be replicated.
$Although there _is_ a thriving industry that trys...
Tongue and fingers stroked her,
electricity shot through her until, arcing her body with pleasure, Rally
surrendered herself completely to Cowboy^�s mouth and hands. Cowboy
entered her, thrusting gently, deeply and Rally moved with her, finding
$deeply, and
a rhythm together. It wasn^�t long before Rally could feel something
build within her, her body raced to find it, as she pressed into Cowboy,
$her. Her body...it as she...
feeling slick tongue glide across wet lips. Rally came silently but her
body, rigid with tension, spoke volumes. Again and again, Rally could
feel Cowboy on her and in her. Panting with raw desire, she kept Cowboy
where she was until she was sated.
$Greedy ain't she.
When Rally once again realized where she was and with whom, she felt
herself blushing. Unclenching her hands, she disentangled her fingers
from Cowboy^�s hair and loosened the grip she had with her legs. Rally
noticed Cowboy^�s bright eyes watching her and the blush deepened.
Blinking, trying to control her breathing, Rally lay back, listening to
her heart pound against her ribs.
,snip>
Rally looked down at the package she held. Unmarked, except for the
address and the postmark, which read Reno, Nevada. Rally held the box up
and gave it a small shake. She smiled at the box, and ripped away the
paper wrapping. Underneath the packing material lay a gun. Rally^�s heart
leapt into her throat.
$Damn, mine would have too! Did you know that it's _highly_ illegal to
mail a gun around?
Reaching into the box, she pulled out a SIG P-210-4^�her breath became
rasping. Had something happened to Cowboy?
<snip>
While all the gun info in this story is accurate, it may not be
complete, or even relevant. The Ducati M900 Monster really can do over
200 mph without strain.
$But not with two people! ...sorry. I get carried away.
It is, by all accounts, *the* bike to die on.
;-)
$Yeah. Twitch the throttle and slam into a wall at mach three.
There is, in truth, an Alleyway Vacation Program in Chicago, but the
corruption (and the individuals) in this story are completely
fictitious. I^�m sure the politicians in Chicago are as upstanding as
those in my own hometown.
^�Cock and lock^� is something specific to the C275 ^� one can set the
safety with a bullet chambered.
$Many pistols have that capability. Not all, but many.
Yes, I am perfectly aware that there are HUGE GAPING plot holes...there
are in the manga too. I stand on precedent. :-)
$Yeah, I quite liked this. It read much like the manga and anime did.
Any questions, comments, positive feedback and objective criticism can
be sent to e.l.f.@ix.netcom.com Negative feedback will pretty much be
ignored unless I^�m in the mood.
Cheers,
Erica
AniLesboCon 2001 - "For real women who like their women...animated."
http://www.shoujoai.com/~anilesbocon
"World Shaking" Fanfic - http://www.worldshaking.net
The Fanfic Revolution - http://come.to/hauthor
Because fanfic does not have to suck
$Hear hear! Whooo! And that, folks, its what I look for when I want to
read a lemon. Particularly yuri. Without setup, it just doesn't work.
Writing is a lot like sex. Well, no, not really, but I'm making a metaphor
here so leave me alone. Ahem. Without adequate, quality foreplay, the
climax can really suck. In fact, it's the foreplay I really like. Speaking
of which, more of that could be shown here, (The lemon foreplay, not the
setup.) but overall I have no complaints. In fact, I thank god that this
was of such high quality. I don't think I could have handled that many k of
constant errors to correct. Now, I know I missed one, but I couldn't find
it the second go around. Hope this helps, and I'd be happy to see some
other work too.
Thanks for the entertainment.
-Ragun P. Moody
ICQ# 37606443
"It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's,
not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's
its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It
isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise
yours and theirs."
-- Oxford University Press, Edpress News
In addition, you're not supposed to use lets in
your work if you mean let us. Let's all get
this right, it lets us write better.
--me