NOTE: Thanks to those few special people who dared to
reply to my request of some C&C [ADV: Do it now!].
More is welcome since this is the second part. So...
C&C IS WELCOME, IS WANTED, AND IS APPRICIATED!!!
[Hell, who knows? I might even respond personally this
time!]
On to the fic:
WARNING: This work of fiction contains scenes and
language that are not appropriate for minors or
children under the age of 15. It?s a
dark-lemony/limish thing, and the character's I used
are under no circumstances mine, I used them without
permission. Plus, the owners probably don't even give
a damn that I'm using them, so don't sue.
~End of Legal Ass-Covering~
===============
Burning Smoke
by FLYz
===============
"...If you spend all your time being introspective,
trying as hard as you can to deny what you see, well,
things are likely to come out pretty warped."
-The Martyrdom of St. Bartholomew
===============
Chapter 2 :: Orpheus in the Underworld
===============
Me? Warped? Now, that IS an understatement if I have
ever heard one. I like to think of myself as a boy
blinded by the ideals of pacifism. I bet you think
that I am the Winner boy. Guess again. I have to say,
though, I think he may have it right, even though we
do not fight together. He seems content enough. He
seems happy enough.
He IS a pacifist, after all.
Much unlike me, who is SUPPOSED to be a pacifist.
Besides, she does a much better job at the politic
thing then I do. I was not born to argue and
compromise, sit at long dinners, and be expected to
sign contracts. I live to see mobile suits blown up.
That is why there is no more room for me anymore in
this world. They have gotten rid of the wars for which
I stand.
They have gotten rid of me, both as Zechs Marquis,
Milliard Peacecraft, and even as the soldier of the
Preventers, WIND.
I have no place in this world now.
* * * * *
I do not know what I stand for anymore. Was there
anything to begin with? That is the question all
soldiers ask themselves, at one point in time or
another: What are we fighting for?
And the ones who cannot answer the question,
naturally, stop fighting and persue another career. I
asked the question way too late. By now, I could not
change what I do even if I tried. Even if I wanted to.
I need the feeling so much, the thing I can most
describe it to is that it is the same feeling a
druggie has when he needs a fix of crack. And by the
time somebody bothers to tell the poor boy what he is
getting into, he is already adicted. Much good that
does.
That goes for the rest of you world. Especially you,
Relena. I need you to take a grip on reality. The
brother you want is dead. I honestly do not want to be
mean or crude, but get over it. You help nobody in
your relentless serching for me.
Or, for that matter, Heero.
* * * * *
After Operation: Special, the leftover Preventers got
together and sat down to talk. To work out the things
we had left behind. Guess who's idea that was? If you
guessed Maxwell, Winner, or Yuy, you are wrong. If you
guessed any of the women, think again. If you guessed
me, you are still wrong. Amusingly enough, it was the
'Mads' as I like to think of them. The Doctors. Or
rather the three doctors, proffesor, and the master.
They said that it was Howard's fault. I find it quite
belivable. We discussed things, alright. What we would
do with the Talgeese, first and second. I still have
not told anyone where Satan's Child* rests. I do not
intend to anytime soon.
They say that the world was rid of weapons. Mark my
words, the Earth and Her colonies have not seen the
end of the mobile suits. I guarentee you that.
The Earth cannot avoid the bloodshed that created
Her.
More so, She will not.
* * * * *
I suppose this is as much of an interview as
anything. For you to read at sometime. I still have no
idea who Yuy is sending this to. I am guessing he will
choose someone at random. That would fit my idea of
his character quite well. But back to the questions.
I supposed that it would come to this. I think you
know as well as I do that I was trying to put the
subject off as much as possible, but I cannot talk
about a wide range of other things until I get this
out of the way.
In a word:
Treize.
* * * * *
I shall elaborate. I apologize for the pause, but it
took me a while to collect my thoughts upon the
matter. It is not an easy subject for me to talk
about. Not because I do not know what to make of it.
It is more that I would not have my mind dwell upon it
for too long lest I fall back into the old days. Which
I do not want to happen under any circumstances.
I have to start, however, with one proclemation: I
never have, never will, and actually, never speculated
upon the thought of loving Treize Kushrenada as more
than a friend and associate.
The more I think about it, the funnier it seems. I
realize that this reaction is a very odd one, but
indulge me. I cannot help myself. He was one of the
only people I met and or knew that was aware of the
consequenses of life and knew where he wanted to be by
the day he reached his death bed.
He could have been King of Earth and Her Colonies. I
would not have douted it for a second. And yet, he
amused himself by playing a minor role in Her
activities. He did not want the responsibility of
being in charge of something he could not, himself,
fathom.
Once you see Her from space, you will know what I
mean. Until then, do not judge those who present their
cases. They know more about what you know then you
ever will about your own mind.
What an interesting husband he would have made, the
Lord of the Roses. Ha, now that is an interesting name
which I had not thought of. Treize, Lord of the Roses.
How like the man.
* * * * *
Who do I admire? Nobody in particular.
Of the other pilots? I'd have to say Noin.
...
What?
* * * * *
I was told to tell you what I think of every time I
look at the Earth and how She is at the moment. I
don't know what you were expecting, or even if you
bothered to speculate. I am not here to answer the
questions under your orders. I answer them because I
fucking want to. Nobody says that I had to. Nobody
controlls me.
Nobody.
Not like anyone trys to any more. Trieze did. And he
only sucseeded in part. I did not fight him when he
wanted me to, I did not follow him when he wanted me
to, I did not love him like a savior or a god when he
wanted me to. Yet I was stupid enough to be
manipulated by him, he put me with Quinze's faction.
He put me against Marimea. He gave me the Preventers,
all though that, I suppose, was as much of a gift to
Une as it was to me. His attempt at redemption.
Isn't it amusing?
What I think of when I look at the Earth now...
I see a field of grass, full of flowers, and
butterflies, millions of them...
There is a little girl standing there in the middle
of the field. She is smiling, and she has pretty blue
eyes, and sun-fire red hair. She's wearing a pretty
white dress, with a corn stalk hat, and little tatamii
sandals. In one hand she has a little golden puppy, I
imagine a labredor, or perhaps a golden retriever,
maybe even a dingo or a shitsuu, a little blue ribbon
tied around it's neck. It's head is mission, nothing
but a bloody stump, and the little girl is cradling it
as if it were her best friend. She's giggling now, and
I notice little red spots on her ivory skin and dress.
In the other hand she's holding a fully loaded
sawed-off shotgun.
She sighs, then giggles, smiling. "Humans are so
silly!" she says, her voice ringing like clairion
bells. She giggles once more.
You asked what I see when I think of this planet,
this... no, our Earth.
And that is what I see. Every day, in everyone's
life. Innocence corrupted by violence. Inevitable,
since we love it like our long lost friend. Whose life
we took, unknowingly holding out the evidence for
everyone to see.
I am that evidance.
I am the pilot of the Talgeese, after all, aren't I?
* * * * *
I am incapable of feeling love. And until a short
while back, I thought I was incapable of being on the
reciving end of love. I was wrong, I will admit to
that. But I am not saying that's a good thing either.
Not in the sense of anything. I mean, I was a really
selfish kid. I was.
Oh, come on. You're telling me you weren't?
It's the closest I think I have ever come to
experiancing true, and pure, I might add, contentment.
I don't mean in the shallow superficial way most
people mean. I mean for once in my life I was happy
with who I was, what I was, and what I would most
likely to become. I didn't like it, but I was able to
accept it, and was even able to grasp why for a
moment.
This didn't happen because of romantic love. This was
love in the sense of friendship and undnerstanding,
but not as in marrige love.
I think this is the only part of my being I can
acredit to my sister, Relena.
And, so, thank you.
You made me the way I am today.
Human.
* * * * *
~End Of Chapter 2~
okasan8675@yahoo.com (FLYz)
!!OWARI!!
!!OWARI!!
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