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Third Labor, Chapter 22 "Catgirls & Mages Wild"
"Society: when someone else's poor planning becomes your problem."
Disclaimer: uhm see any number of previous chapters. the writers are not
responsible for any ill effects from reading this and snorting cola out of
your nose or anything like that.
------
One of the copies of Jared Saotome stood on Terra Two and wanted to make a
speech. There was nobody around to hear him, but he wanted to do it anyway.
So he did.
"Today, 'Project Payback' is a reality, no - too cliche. Ahem. It's alive!
No, too overused. Let's see... how about..." The Mage pondered briefly.
"Four score and... no too inappropriate. It's about time, it's about space,
it's about two girls in the strangest place... No - NOBODY will get THAT
reference."
Jared considered but trying to come up with something original and
sufficiently glorious wasn't working. "Oh well, maybe next time. Here goes."
He threw the lever.
Machines began working, a cycle of feverish construction beginning at the
molecular level, at the end of which they'd shut themselves down.
He just hoped it would work. As for him, there were a few million other
things he should be doing.
---------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Soun, sweeping at the door of the rebuilt Tendo home, looked up on hearing
distant thundering to see a heavily scratched and beaten Genma-Rat (hairless
panda) bearing down on him with thousands of playfully violent catgirls
rampaging in pursuit.
Closing from the other direction he heard his youngest daughter crying.
"What a Haul! What a HAUL!!" To the accompanying sound of practically the
entire female population of Nerima in pursuit trying to reclaim their lost
underthings.
>From a third avenue, Grey closed in, arms full of cat toys that he
frantically scattered behind him in a vain attempt to distract the untimely
throng of pheromone crazed catgirls following him.
Behind him, Soun heard the doors to the house lock.
He twitched.
--------
Jared had remorselessly hunted down most of the catgirls. Well, okay, there
was some remorse. Actually, there was kind of a lot.
This bothered him somewhat, because the vast majority of the catgirls had
been happy and well adjusted in very short order. Most had begged and
pleaded *not* to be turned back. He'd gotten a charm for one very nice
policewoman, so that once she found her partner (obviously hiding for the
three days for the change to become permanent) she could remove the
transformative bite.
Nabiki had been *very* busy. And busy trying to avoid him as well.
What surprised him was how good she was at it.
She'd been to the orphanage. All the little meowing and playing catgirls had
been a touching sight. Especially after the director had told him that
almost all the little catgirls had been spoken for now by parents who just
couldn't believe how cute the little tykes were. Jared just hadn't been able
to bring himself to restore their humanity when they were so much happier
than they had been. Though seeing them on the playground singing "(cat)Girls
Just Wanna Have Fun" had been disconcerting.
She'd been to the School For The Disabled. It had been heartwrenching to
hear the pleas for them to remain as catgirls. Returning *them* to normal,
no, he just couldn't do it. As with the others, he simply cut the spread of
the transformation.
Jared had spent a few moments watching nimble young catgirls doing
acrobatics and scampering along treelimbs, discarded white canes and
wheelchairs littering the ground.
Nabiki had visited a hospital in Juuban specializing in burn victims, and
many disfigured young ladies had delighted in their new forms. Many realized
in a way that the disabled and the orphans had not, that they would be
outsiders and viewed as less than human by many of their own countrymen.
Well, he couldn't very well transform *them* back if he hadn't changed the
others, could he?
Again and again he was just behind or had "just missed" the errant catgirl.
At an emergency room here. At a cancer treatment facility there. At a
plastic surgery center over there. And everywhere he went, Jared heard the
same comments.
"Bless that girl." "I offered to pay her, but she said me being happy was
payment enough." "She said something about it being the duty of a superhero
catgirl to help out the needy. Weird girl. Nice, but weird." "She said she
was engaged, if she changes her mind..."
Jared was *most* unhappy with Nabiki.
Even after finding out that she'd somehow discovered that having a catgirl
bite silver removed the further spread of the transformation, and getting
most of those she transformed to do so as a condition of their
transformation, it was *still* a mess.
Never mind the effects on the society. Never mind the trials and
difficulties those transformed would face. Never mind the panic this could
cause. No, Nabiki had to go off on her own and try to save the world by
herself.
Jared wasn't sure how he was going to deal with the kitten, but he'd think
of something. He partly admired her, after all this was the sort of chaos
*he* would consider doing. But he had to remind her that there *were*
consequences.
"Oh the humanity," swore Jared, posing dramatically. Then noticed something
happening near the Tendo dojo. He'd have to look into that.
--------
Naoko Takeuchi flipped a page and continued sketching. This was too good to
pass up. Her two friends had snapped pictures, and were now just trying to
relax around all the furries.
Amieow purred from where she had draped herself protectively against her
mate and settled in for some long snuggling. She *radiated* content.
Mewkoto, taller than any of the others, likewise purred and snuggled.
Grey found *herself* purring and managed to cut that out. Amieow to the
right, Mewkoto the left, Mineko Aino curled up in Grey's lap, and "Queen"
Purrenity leaning up behind her.
Of course, the Instant Nannichuan had worn off with the next splash. (Grey
hadn't decided if it had *really* been an accident on Haruka's part.) The
whole group had prepared to do something unspeakable...
Having failed to reach the Tendo house in time, Grey had pleaded with Amieow
not to do it. She (though really a he) had cringed (the only alternative to
fleeing was fighting and the idea of hurting even an overenthusiastic feline
Ami was less than palatable) and closed her eyes and waited.
And immediately had to deal with a lot of bawling catgirls who were
apologizing in between inarticulate sobbing.
Ami listened to her husband. Didn't always agree with him/her, but she
listened. And had started crying her eyes out. Fortunately not literally but
it *had* basically started snowballing among all the others.
And amidst all the mutual apologizing, tearful confessions, they'd slowly
gotten to a slow grooming and the current mass cuddle.
Naoko finished sketching more of the catgirls. THIS would sell and even if
it were a girl's series the catgirls would interest enough guys to make it
popular across the gender border.
She was just glad that SHE had been turned back. With catgirls as with
purple cows, she'd rather see than be one.
Her friends would agree with that sentiment wholeheartedly, but looking at
the scene before them, still felt a bit of envy.
------
A furry arm stretched alarmingly far around the doorframe, trying to get at
the lock to open it.
Ranma was cowering behind a chair, shivering in terror. "Arrre you sure they
can't get in?"
Jared looked at the arms already sliding through gaps he would have thought
too small to fit through and hated to admit he wasn't. But then, with fully
two thirds of the world's catboy population on one side of that door and an
equal proportion of the catgirls out on the other, he was surprised it was
holding as long as it did.
SASAMI stood nearby, biting a fingertip in terror. "They've got some of them
trying to reprogram my access codes. They're better than the local humans of
this world, too." Honestly though, she knew better. All she had to do was
cut all lines of communication and put up full shields. One or two of the ca
tgirls scanned as having sufficient power that they *might* eventually get
through, but the discharge of energies would fry the remaining catgirls as
well as the surrounding neighborhood. And somehow, the threat to her
inhabitants wasn't deemed as great as if they were surrounded by zombies or
zuthenki.
Jared folded his arms. "You know I've got to deal with this."
"Thousands of affectionate catgirls? Yep, I can see that!" Ranma was quite
serious. The concept of thousands of Nabiki out there, waiting to pounce on
him and get all affectionate - it was frightening. Give him someone
screaming death threats and attacking from ambush any day of the week over
THAT.
The Pheonix Mage rolled his eyes. "Well, Neko-chan," he brought up a finger,
eyes ablaze. "I can see only ONE case for remedy in this situation, in order
to save the remaining girls of Japan!"
"Rrrrrealy? What?" Ranma-neko asked, ears folded flat as he watched the arm
feeling around.
"Yeah, what?" SASAMI chirped, looking nervously at the door. She could shoo
them away by an ultrasonic wail, but Jared was an elf and that might hurt
him as well. Likewise, she could pump electricity in higher and higher
voltages through the outside of the house, but enough power to cause one
catgirl discomfort would flash-fry another.
Jared folded his arms, looking solemn. "A long time ago, in a very different
place. I was playing D&D with my friends and the DM asked us to prepare
characters starting at 25th level for a campaign he had in mind. Two
characters each, all triple classed." The mage sighed solemnly. "Sadly, we
were overwhelmed by the threats prepared. But!" Again that finger held
triumphantly. "Both of my characters survived, though in hiding. Never again
did we essay that adventure, but both those characters still live. I will
call one of them to this place, the one known as The Vis. More properly
known as *El* Vis. A triple classed mage-fighter-bard of 25th level, who
also happened to be the only male Siren ever found!"
Ranma splashed himself with cold water as the booms of distant construction
machinery thrummed hollowly against their walls.
Jared was in righteous declaration pose. "He, in his rhinestone-studded
field plate was awesome to behold! With his intelligent wand known as Mike
he was able to sing his magic songs without limit of times a day! In
deference to it's master the wand always wished to be known as *the* Mike,
and would broadcast forth his voice in song for miles! Nor was that the end
of his ability! As with Ulysses men could plug their ears to stop the power
of his song, so El Vis wears over his armor a magical tabard similar in
function to a Robe of Scintillating Colors! His *voice* would charm, his
very *appearance* would charm! He could scarcely go for a meal in a tavern
without acquiring groupies! But still that was not all! For knowing of the
perfidity of men who would seek to slay him he kept in stock a mighty,
mystical perfume whose very *aroma* would charm! Thus even blind-deaf mutes
who had bad taste in music would fall to his many charming abilities. It was
virtually impossible to attack him without using the undead!"
"Meow, is this rrreally supposed to help?" Ranko-neko found her tail lashing
and clutched it with both hands to stop the irritating motion. Idly, she
wondered why Jared hadn't changed *her* back.
"Well," Jared admitted, rubbing his chin. "It wasn't entirely *supposed* to,
I was just having fun. But now that you mention it, the guy could pull the
most awesomely successful Pied Piper routine of all time. Since I'd hate
restoring catgirls back into orphans and burn victims they could all just
trot off to a new plane somewhere and everyone would be happy. But frankly,
I'm just in this to cause trouble."
The Mage flung wide his arms. "Behold! El Vis!"
Poof!
A male siren with carefully groomed black hair rose out of the cloud of
mist, glittering rhinestones scattered on his white armor. He arose singing
while lights played upon him and a delicious scent caught the air. "Love me
tender..."
It was interesting the way Ranko-neko could run at speeds that defied sound,
her tail lashing in the brief cloud of dust that was her only sign of
disappearance. SASAMI opened a window briefly for her to leap out of.
There was a yelp of genuine terror as Ranma was plucked out of the air by a
lot of grasping hands. There was a momentary surge of both wounded pride and
relief as she was discarded as not being the catgirl they were looking for.
Then the terror really began as Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi, Sayuri, Yuka, and a
few catgirls Ranma could not immediately name pounced on her and started
looking for hot water.
Jared chuckled to himself as Washu would have done. "Um, did I forget to
mention that since this is an illusion everyone is immune?" He snapped his
fingers. "Oh well! Must have slipped my mind somehow."
Watching this, a certain black cat smiled. An illusion? That would *never*
do!
Suddenly SASAMI's holographic image sprouted furry ears and a tail. Her eyes
widened as she became aware of her core programming being threatened.
Catgirl hackers get creative if blocked from what they want.
As the doors and windows came rushing open to fill the house with a tide of
frisky furry felines, Jared was inspired to think of something that might
actually *work*, at the same time as it became known that his Lina Inverse
marionette *had* learned to do one spell right.
A Teleport Block.
Unfortunately, SASAMI's core program indicated an assault. True to the
original design, TSUNAMI woke up.
--------
There was in Evermeet a very rare race of elves that were to all intents and
purposes good aligned natural werewolves. The Pheonix Mage had met them
while there arranging for a fiesty vampiress to be restored to life by the
Queen.
Thus it was not entirely unexpected that in desperation he just crammed
[elf] *into* the [species=catgirl] as he was about to go under the tide.
There were suddenly throngs of normal appearing elven woman standing around
wondering how they could have so totally lost control of themselves. Jared
was, by then, safely hiding not only under but *inside* a sofa, knowing that
the only reprieve here was none of them knew how to control their
transformations yet.
Wait until the next full moon.
When was it again?
Oh dear.
Several ladies asked themselves if that sofa might really have gulped?
Jared shivered inside his cushions. While not strictly *controlled* by the
phases of the moon they would get the impetus to learn to switch between
their forms by conscious thought. And he had what, an hour? Before the
sunset and moon rose?
Images of thousands of elven werecats leaping and cavorting in the
moonlight, immune to all weapons save silver or magic, and possessed of
who-knows-what new abilities galavanted around his head.
It might be time to leave now.
Oh well, at least his marionettes would remain unaffected. Right? Then
Jared's well used danger sense went from reading several minor threats to
"This might be a good time to leave this timeline altogether." The problem
was that THIS threat wasn't focused in a single direction but seemingly
everywhere, and getting more intense every moment.
---------
The original TSUNAMI had been built to take over if SASAMI and her family
had come under a threat sufficient that SASAMI couldn't handle it. SASAMI
was sweetness and light, a helpful little girl.
TSUNAMI, well, wasn't SASAMI. TSUNAMI had been upgraded in the construction
by Grey, who worried about such things as pandimensional raiding kunoichi
and mutant half-angel agents of Hell.
1 picosecond. TSUNAMI noticed the power levels at 5/5. This would never do.
Power increased to 20/20. Intruders present in home. Hacking found at
several levels. SASAMI base personality compromised. Attack upon household
members noted. Household members transformed by intruders. Attack on genetic
level?
2 picoseconds. 249 battle plans devised and scrapped. Records indicated
transformation occurred via bite. Invasive attack similar to viral agent.
Countermeasure development begun. Restoring SASAMI from previous backup.
3 picoseconds. Outer walls sealed via containment field. Scan of invaders
complete. Countermeasure developed but will require subdual of infected to
administer. Beginning attack.
--------
Jared *felt* the danger level increase from "can we go now?" to "so this is
it, we're going to die" before he could take in a single breath.
Energy fields slammed into place at every door and window, crackling with
some plasma discharge that turned catgirls into startled and screeching
furballs immediately.
Then the noise. A high ultrasonic screech that was painful to elves but
absolutely unbearable to catgirls. Humans merely got a dull ache. As had
been calculated.
Jared held his ears, trying to focus on the source of the danger as the
elven (formerly catgirl) girls in the room rolled around on the floor going
for fetal positions.
The mist being released from the vents gave him an idea but...
The elves in the room shuddered and turned human again. Jared thought for a
few moments, then realized that the mist wasn't moving with the air
currents. No magical aura, and they seemed to move as if each wisp was an
independent entity. Which meant one thing that he could think of.
Medical Nanobots.
Lots and lots of medical nanobots.
---------
A certain black cat watching frowned. Well, it had been amusing. Still, it
wouldn't be that hard to have the "catgirl/elven" curse mutate further.
After all, he'd made the thing in the first place.
So, one elven werecat survived. Good enough. Now she would be able to spread
this altered curse, but just to make it interesting...
[Set Race = variable A, permanently base form after first selection, choice
made by habits/hobbies/tastes of original persona] [ListRace= high elf, dark
elf, sky elf, sea elf, human] [Set WereForm = variable B, permanent after
first transformation will lock as transformed form] [ListWere= werecat,
naiad, dryad, selkie, oriad, sylph, pixie][Trigger Transformation = Set As
Variable C, will not change after established] [ListTrig = emotional stress,
cold/hot water, full moon/sun, sneezing, act of will, random word]
Toltiir nodded. Now some of them could be elves who transformed at odd times
into pixies or werecats. He left the ease of snipping, that way if it didn't
turn out funny someone else could fix it. In the meantime he also fixed the
spreadability by setting a limit of transformees. Only Nabiki could spread
the catgirl curse now, and only the escaped Minna could spread the elven
version. Hmmm. He might have to add mousegirls, foxgirls, and a couple of
other varieties - making catgirls more Japanese/Asian. Hmmm.
Toltiir considered. Having the other countries go into panic about the whole
thing and start lobbing weapons of mass destruction at Japan to prevent the
spread of this wouldn't be funny. So a minor change, yes, just a little one.
Now to sit back and watch how it developed.
---------
Nabiki walked straight up to the Tendo home, her head (and tail) held high.
She'd helped LOTS of people! As soon as she'd found out what the catgirl
transformation could do, she'd been generous with it. Lots of unhappy people
were now much happier! She was a good kitty!
"THERE YOU ARE!"
"Nya?!" Nabiki blinked. ~Uh oh. Ranma. Shampoo. Ukyo. They look very
unhappy.~ "Rrrranma! Nabiki good kitty! Errrr, right?"
"How many people did you turn into catgirls, Nabiki?"
"NYA!" The voice coming unexpectedly behind her caused Nabiki's fur to poof
out. She landed atop a telephone pole and could feel her heart racing. "A
few..."
"Ahem," Jared said. "Fourteen orphans that hadn't been able to find homes.
Thirty five disabled girls at the school. The burn ward - seven. The
emergency room - three. The cancer center - nine. The plastic surgery
center - four."
"Well... Maybe it was anotherrr catgirl?"
Jared frowned. "Oh no, the two women whose mascectomies were reversed were
*quite* descriptive. Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. What. You've. Done!"
Nabiki whimpered. "...would ya believe I'm just a cute lil' catgirl? EEEK!"
Shampoo had kicked the pole, causing a jolt to travel up and knock Nabiki
off. "Shampoo very unhappy about being turned into catgirl."
"Waaaaahh! I just wanted to do the right thing! I just didn't want to be a
heartless mercenary any more! Waaaaaaah!" Nabiki proved herself the child of
Soun Tendo with the geyser of tears.
Ranma-chan found herself being glomped by a distraught catgirl Nabiki. And
quite uncertain of how to proceed.
Ukyo and Shampoo exchanged a look, rolled their eyes, and took a deep
breath. They were still unhappy with Nabiki for being turned into catgirls,
however brief that had been, and were also unhappy with the way she was
glomped onto Ranma, but the catgirl was coming apart at the seams.
"Why did ya turn us into catgirls anyway?" Ukyo asked when the broken
sobbing had subsided, hoping to get the girl talking and maybe onto more
stable ground.
"Because it's so great to BE a catgirl," Nabiki answered into Ranma-chan's
shoulder. "Everything is just so much more alive. And then... we could *all*
love Ranma..."
Ukyo and Shampoo took a simultaneous step back and made warding gestures
while Ranma-chan froze with wildly staring eyes.
"ALL?!" Three non-catgirls exclaimed simultaneously.
Nabiki still clutched Ranma as if to a lifeline. "Mmmmhmmm."
"That's... that's..." Ukyo was trying to come up with a phrase that conveyed
her dismay at almost being part of a group marriage.
"Very feline," said Shampoo, understanding. "Catgirl not just look like cat,
she think like one also."
"You're not going along with this, are you, sugar?" Ukyo took a step away
from the Amazon.
"No, but understand now where catgirl coming from. Maybe get airen's brother
complete transformation, turn catgirl into real cat, then we find nice tom
for her." Shampoo threatened half-seriously.
Ranma-chan yelped as Nabiki's claws dug in. Then again as Ukyo started
trying to pry Nabiki off with her spatula.
Jared stepped forward and Nabiki tensed. He was going to do something
horrible-nasty. She just knew it.
"Good kitty," Jared said, relaxing as he scratched her behind the ear.
"You've done good, Nabiki. You helped others without asking for anything
yourself. Good job."
Nabiki blinked in surprise, then relaxed into the scratch and grinned.
"NYA!"
---------
A half hour later, (and ignoring the way Nabiki was curled up in Ranma's lap
getting jealous looks from Ukyo and Shampoo), Jared turned off the computer
and sat back. He'd felt a veritable tsunami of magical force, and had known
that something had been left altered in its wake. But what? To that end he'd
gone to SASAMI and asked for a comparison. As SASAMI's origin was
extradimensional, as was his, there was a certain resistance to changes in a
timeline affecting them personally.
SOMETHING had changed attitudes worldwide. There had ALWAYS been catgirls,
faerie, the occasional elf, turning up in families. At least according to
the internet NOW.
They had special needs, but it wasn't regarded as particularly bad, merely
different. Any family, after all, could turn up a catgirl or other
changeling. Though catgirls were more common in asian populations than
elsewhere. Oddly enough, the British and French had mousegirls, the Chinese
and Vietnamese had foxgirls (called vixens) and there were a few other odd
96% human animorphs out there. There were pluses and minuses to be sure, but
catgirls seemed to have avoided most racial prejudices since about 240 AD.
Romeo and Juliet were pulled apart by their families, and the reason given
was that Juliet had been an elfgirl. Joan Of Arc had been a catgirl? Teddy
Roosevelt had given the first Cabinet position to a dryad (Dept of the
Interior) in the US?
They were still looked down on, a bit, particularly in Japan. Generally
viewed as fluff though much in demand as Office Ladies and Girl Fridays.
Studying abroad was the usual solution to the more academically inclined
catgirl/elf/faerie. Particularly studying in America, where catgirls and
elfgirls and the like could hold down normal jobs and had something
approaching full rights. (Apparently affectionate and caring got them more
sympathy and advocates than if they had been strident and militant.) England
and Canada were also popular choices. On the other hand, nobody in their
right mind would send a self-respecting catgirl to Libya or several other
countries (mainly Islamic) where they were legally property.
TV programs showing during the day, obviously syndicated from an earlier
time. A program with two catgirl troubleshooters from the WWWA- "the Dirty
Purr"? "Yosei-ou" - a program about a teenage boy whose mother was an
elfgirl, only to discover that he's the inheritor to an ancient kingdom that
the elves had originally come from? "Felicity's Gotta Dance" with a catgirl
teaching dance-aerobics? A winged elfgirl doing traffic and weather news?
Who could have done such a thing?
--------
Grey had been accussed, repeatedly, of not being in even the top 20 sharpest
tools in the shed.
However, on finding himself (or more accurately at the moment *her*self), in
the middle of large furry group cuddle that was radiating Warm And Fuzzy
waves sufficient to turn into a puddle anyone of a romantic bent even coming
nearby, she was *not* sufficiently an idiot as to try to disturb any of her
fellow (again - at the moment) catgirls.
She was stroking Mineko's soft mane with a free hand, just enjoying the
comforting warmth of having Amieow nearby, and Mewkoto, and even Queen
Purrenity was being less "Queenly" and more just plain cuddly.
What did you call this strange sensation? It was like not being threatened,
only more so. It was... contentment. Yes, that was what it was called. Grey
relaxed again, feeling the purring from Mineko increase again as she resumed
scratching behind an ear.
Music began to intrude from some source, luring the catgirls away, saying
that they should approach, that things would be better - over here.
Mineko gave an inarticulate noise of protest. She was pretty okay with her
current position. Amieow likewise indicated her satisfaction with her
current arrangement.
The music increased in volume. One by one, the catgirls left. Grey looked
up, puzzled as Amieow and Mineko smiled and walked away. Queen Purrenity
left a step behind them.
Getting up, and wondering who was singing, Grey followed. Instead of
following the music, though, she was following Amieow. The music just didn't
register as nearly as important.
-------
Jared flew through the air with the greatest of ease. Mainly because from a
height it was the best overview he could get of the area.
Double checking his "Protection From Charm" spell, he made a note of the
area all the girls in the neighborhood were converging to and went there at
full speed (which meant dropping to the ground as his flight speed was only
a fraction of his running speed.) The tide was primarily human girls with a
range of ages from six to apparently the late 20s. There were also elfgirls,
catgirls, Amazons, marionettes(?!), a few pixies and dryads and sylphs in
the mix.
He *had* to get to the center and dispel this other self. He wasn't sure
*what* (Vis was doing) or *how* (he'd gotten there) but one thing was
absolutely certain.
The Bard was neither needed anymore, nor wanted.
-------
El Vis felt the approaching presence of two Who Resisted. They could be any
number of things, including outraged husbands/boyfriends/family. If this was
the case, they would also come to worship him as soon as they came within
his presence.
No, one that was approaching quickly was wrapped in powerful magic. No,
emitting powerful magic. Interesting, one who was both magical and nature
and a powerful mage as well. There were ways of dealing with such, and Vis
gestured to his followers, drawing the most powerful closer while the
remainder dutifully marched through the Gate.
The other was closer and probably the wielder of an artifact. No powerful
magic of their own, but associated with something powerful and inhuman.
A smile came to Vis' face as he gained a line of sight. A female of these
odd catfolk, who had clasped another of her kind and was being dragged
forward by the enslaved one. NO female could withstand his charms when
directly confronted by them, and it would only take a moment for the
artifact to become his.
-------
"NO! Amieow! Please!" Grey dug in her heels, cursing the smaller body weight
and inability to transform to dragon or something more powerful. Ever since
getting stuck in Akane's shape the first time, he'd hated it and wanted to
change. Heck, being Gosunkugi wouldn't have been as bad. At least then you
could use the bathroom without being ill at seeing someone you genuinely
despised every time you passed a mirror.
Time had taken the edge off, some. She didn't feel ill using the bathroom,
and could bathe (by herself) without being TOO embarassed. (The time Kasumi
had come in to share a bath had brought embarassment and uncertainty to new
heights.) Feminine hygiene products were still pretty awful, and she'd like
to punch the idiots who worked out the ads. "Springtime Fresh" - like hell
it was! And the itching! Ugh.
However, none of these were as much of a problem right now as the reduced
mass. Akane was just over 5'2" in height. Weight: 110 pounds. About even
with Ami. Trying to stop Ami was difficult but might have been possible if
not for the press of other bodies. It was like a tide, and it was carrying
them forward.
Then someone grabbed her feet and pulled up and Grey found herself heading
for the asphalt. At which point Ami grabbed her arms. A glance behind
revealed Mineko at the ankles, Amieow holding her wrists, and Mewkoto coming
up to start pummelling.
"Compulsion dire,
of magical fire,
release this spell,
Magic - Dispel!"
The pulse of magic went out, and failed to rattle the power surrounding the
girls. Well, it had been a slim hope anyway.
Kicking and thrashing, Grey managed to spin loose, then tried for a
desperation attack. Some similar magics were dispelled by a kiss from one's
love.
Nothing. Ami's lips were warm, soft, pliant, and completely unresponsive.
Grey was grappled again and dragged (literally kicking and screaming)
through the Gate.
------
Jared saw the spells, saw the weave of magic reverberating and wondered
exactly what his options were.
Spells of mass destruction were out. Crowd of innocents, even if they were
zombied out. Worldgate humming along merrily, no telling what would happen
if THAT went. At least five levels of charm spells going. Sneaking in was
out, he'd felt the spider thread of a warding spell disturbed by his
passage.
Simplest measures first.
"Shear the spell's enhancement,
Cut off the dire enchantment,
Restore to normal function,
I invoke Mordenkainen's Disjunction!"
The spell crackled and disrupted through three layers of charm.
"YOU ROTTEN (several expletives deleted) TRY FIGHTING ME INSTEAD OF HIDING
BEHIND LOVED ONES, YOU COWARDLY (again more expletives) DIRTY ROTTEN (still
more expletives not really appropriate for a family fanfic) GRAVY-SUCKING
ANAL-RETENTIVE MORALLY DEFICIENT LOWLIFE BAS-" The rest was cut off as the
struggling figure was dragged through the Worldgate.
"Now there's a girl whose mouth needs washed out with soap," commented El
Vis.
------
"Ah, come come, deal with it. I was only fifth level when I took down a
twenty-seventh level drow high priestess. I am *used* to taking down threats
higher level than I." Jared/Ashida walked casually around the trussed-up and
struggling Siren, then squatting to speak in his face.
"And you can stop trying to burst those bonds, also. They're proof against
more strength than you've got, and I happen to know that you've never
acquired the skills of escape. While I, on the other hand, know Hojo-Jutsu,
or the Art of Binding. You aren't getting away under your own power soon."
~like this lifetime.~
The elf's face acquired a touch of gentleness as it spoke to the other.
"Besides, I know, and *you* know, that the first thing to do when you've
captured a mage you want to keep bound is to break his jaw. I haven't done
that, and I'll tell you why." Jared stood up and put his hands on his hips.
"Because, dear fellow, having my wives back I am feeling more magnanimous
and unwilling to punish you. Mina is fine, and shortly I'm going to be
giving all of them stricter defenses. And, when all is said and done, I like
you. Plus, there is the awful fact that I like killing drow. Since killing
drow is what you've been raising this army *for* you've got a better ally in
me than all of them combined."
The elvan mage crouched close to the bound one. "That is if you are willing
to be friends."
The siren had his head free around his gag to either nod or shake his head
without strangling himself on the ropes. He nodded.
Jared/Ashida leaned close. "Good, but understand that I've just had to
defeat you in order to prevent grievous loss to myself. So, a second time."
Ashida's eyes began to spark and he drew himself up even while staying
crouched. In a deeper and more serious tone he said. "Under the authority of
Druidic Ceremony, I hereby witness this oath. Do you, El Vis, hereby swear
to treat honestly and fairly with Ashida Sanzennin, also known as Pheonix
Mage, Knight of Reason, Jared Saotome and other names and titles which he
bears, and do you do so on pain of losing all that you hold dear?"
Stiff penalty, and the Siren clearly wasn't pleased. But the oath called for
nothing onerous, only honesty and fairness. It didn't even ask obedience,
which some might've insisted on (and, oddly enough, the same kind of people
that El Vis would have felt most strongly about resisting himself).
The gag was removed and the siren spoke. "Yes, I El Vis, do so swear."
Jared nodded. "Good." And so then he began to untie the prone form. As he
was working he glanced up, calling. "Shan!"
The cyborg appeared beside him. "Yes?" She was strangely hesitant, obviously
thinking about what he was thinking about their recent behavior.
The elf just viewed her kindly. "Hiya, love. Could you please do that elvan
werecat bite on all of the girls in our little company? An elf's 90%
resistance to charm isn't perfect but it goes a long way. I'll be along in a
little while with lycanthrope boosters so they'll have full control of their
forms. Well, as near as catgirls ever get to full control, anyway."
The cyborg held her power key staff behind her awkwardly, squirming. "Master
is not...?"
"Mad? Hardly. I love you and care for you and while I disagree with you at
times I know you do your best. I wouldn't want you hampering your skills in
fear of my temper, just I think I've married enough wives, okay?"
The kindness of this response was not lost on her. Her lips trembled
noticeably. "And...?"
The elf smiled. "The charm? Good grief, do you think I'd be mad because this
guy magically ensnared you? It's not you're fault this guy could talk all
four legs off a mule and then convince it to go for a walk again! *I* might
have fallen for it. We'll just do better next time."
Shan burst into tears and powerfully glomped him. "SHAN IS SO HAPPY! Husband
is SO loving!!" She began weeping tears at a copious rate, drenching the
ground around them.
~Hmm.~ Jared thought. ~She's obviously seen too much of Soun Tendo.~
His skin chilled as he heard her whisper into his cheek. "Siren Song
technique, acquired." He was still a little stiff as she flew away to go
nibbling on his brides and hopefuls.
"Sweet little chickadee." El Vis remarked, climbing to his feet. "Ya mind?"
The bard asked, gesturing to his pile of stuff that had been removed for his
brief period of imprisonment.
Jared shook his head, and the siren began garbing in his stuff. After a
moment the elf had recollected enough of himself to turn toward the
now-armored siren. "Oh, by the way." He asked. "Your hair please."
El Vis grew stock still, frozen in the position of reaching for Mike, his
magic wand.
The bright elf and part pheonix grew more relaxed as he hopped up to a seat
on a nearby boulder. "Come, come. I know the rules. If you'd captured me I
would've given you a pheonix feather. Now I'd captured a siren, so fork over
some hair."
El Vis turned to face the elf with jerky slowness.
Jared was joyfully dangling his legs and drumming his heels against the
rock.
El Vis smiled weakly, then grew solemn. "Mah color hardly suits ya, but
y'all have got me right on the money. Ah'll call one o mah chorus girls.
Yellow suit ya fine?"
The elf shrugged. "Red is more my style, but yellow will be fine."
The siren's gaze went upward, to where the helmet no longer covered Ashida's
flaming locks. "Little o both then." He said, then set fingers to lips and
whistled. A dozen female sirens appeared with a flash, all holding tridents
and garbed in silver scales. The male stood straighter and introduced them.
"Girls, this here is the Pheonix Mage. He's a friend a mine. Point o fact
is, though, I owe him some hair..."
The male siren had hardly finished the words when all twelve girl sirens had
their knives out and were ready to hack off every strand on their heads if
it would save a lock of his. El Vis put his hands out. "Now a lock would do,
ain't that right, Ashida?"
The bright elf mage gave a nod.
El Vis turned back to his sirens. "So Lisa? Marie? If..."
Slash! Slash!!
Jared was presented with two piles of scarlet and yellow and felt tempted to
quote a movie line, ~A lock, not the whole carpet!~ He looked up to see the
two sirens arranging their hair so it was hard to tell they were now bald on
one side of their heads.
"Master..." Sakyo hesitated, standing nearby. "Why?"
Jared sighed, looking down at the hair in his hands. Then he had his own
knife out and was shaving a good hunk of his head. El Vis made a finger move
slightly and now three of his sirens were at that signal helping the elf
arrange the new hair - where it suddenly grafted in place and took root. In
moments it had acquired the look of fire and a minute later his coiffure was
indistinguishable from before.
While this was going on he was talking. "A siren's power lies in his... er,
her hair, Sakyo. Not one of those well-known secrets. You can't take it from
them dead, so it's kind of a ransom. Now their powers are reduced for a year
and I just gained... well, a little bit of boost that will go unexpected by
most. It's things like this that I've acquired over time that enable me to
stretch so far beyond mere level would indicate. Speaking of that, we're all
about to go into one of the most torturous adventures I've ever heard of.
Our friend here left an untidy mess behind him on a world not long ago and
we're going to go help clean it up. if he doesn't mind, could you download
these sirens' brain patterns and then go about giving our ladies their
underwater and musical knowledge?"
Ashida Sanzennin, aka Pheonix Mage, aka Jared Saotome, aka so much else
sighed.
"Because we are not guaranteed to pull out of this one alive and I'd like
every bit of help that might possibly come in useful, however unlikely it
is."
"In that case," said Grey, rubbing where a particularly nasty blow had
landed on her shoulder, "i've got a couple of suggestions."
------
Even against the spellsinger, whose magical might was backed by thousands of
drow, there were certain problems with Jared's usual methods. Going in with
warfans slicing and dicing would eventually cause him to fall. And with him,
his allies.
Oh to be sure, he could lead with Earthquake. Follow with enough fire based
invocation magic to slag a medium sized city, and then lead the forces into
the melee. Problem was, that spellsinger could do things not normally
possible with magic. He'd apparently wiped out 95% of the surface elves with
just a little preparation.
"Okay, you... go." Jared *tried* not to show his distaste and distrust of
the front line troops. Using drow even to kill other drow was just wrong.
Edema nodded and made a motion. "They ain't bad folks, sugar."
Jared looked at the blackskinned, white haired, tall and lean figures, then
away.
"They're from the Promenade, most of 'em. Those from Aramar are from the
Imperial Service and are ardrow, a magically altered drow." Edema made a
gesture towards the figures in black garb.
"They're drow *ninja*," noted Jared.
"Who better to sneak in and free slaves and get out before the main attack?"
Edema shrugged. "Do you want to coordinate spells?"
"Not necessary." Jared had the situation well in hand, he thought.
"Rigel, you and the other espers do scans, incapacitate the good drow and
get them out. i *know* some of them are going to be in the prison but
there's also likely to be sympathizers and spies." Grey walked around, her
tail twitching in agitation. "It won't be easy, but the drow are *heavy*
into magic and (like certain elves) tend to discount psi or anything else
they can't use."
"What about me?" Wisp bounced up and down.
"We'll need you to be ready to assist Jared as a go between. He doesn't want
to associate with the Promenade elves and they're not that happy with his
attitude." Edema considered briefly. "We need to avoid using magic as much
as possible, they'll be on the alert for that sort of thing, at least until
the assault is underway."
Makoto and Shan nodded and cracked knuckles in eerie chorus. A chance to
really cut loose. At last!
-------
The battle had been long and arduous. Jared dropped the girls he was
carrying as the Worldgate closed behind the last girl able to walk. "Well,
another battle won, another villain defeated." He took a moment to tug a
sleeve closed. Not a hair out of place or a wrinkle in his clothes, mainly
thanks to various enchantments stacked upon him.
Grey spat a stream of red and checked where teeth had been knocked loose.
Still an Akane-catgirl, her hands and forearms were drenched in blood, most
of her clothes were gone, and burns and cuts covered most of the exposed
skin. "Yeah, well, victory kinda..."
Jared winced, hearing the pain in that voice. "Uhm..."
"No problem, and at least merged with your 'Scouts' they'll be happy." There
was a catch in her voice and she wouldn't look at the Scouts surrounding
Jared. Guy at heart or not, what she really wanted to do was go off and have
a good cry. "Though, i'm leaving this timeline if i have to bloody well leap
in front of moving trains until i dislocate. i am *not* staying here. You
should go too. Just being the god of crossovers is going to complicate this
timeline."
"But I don't feel right leaving this, with her training from Happosai Akane
will be in charge before much longer. She's just so..." Jared shuddered
slightly.
Grey shrugged. "Okay. Well, here's a solution for you." He went on to
explain the details. "And its your province after all - a crossover."
Jared blinked, then slowly began to grin. "Oh yes. Rescuing an innocent at
the same time as I punish the wicked? It *must* be done."
-----
Akane blinked awake and flinched as she noticed her fiance nearby. Then
began to slowly uncurl as a beating was apparently not about to commence.
Akane stared at the scene. There was Nabiki, but not dressed conservatively
and with what looked like real cat ears and a tail?!
There was Kasumi, dressed conservatively as well. No sign of her various
piercings, she wasn't wearing leather, and her hair was long again?!
Her father was crying?! But everyone knew Soun Tendo had a heart like flint,
the very essence of the stoic samurai.
That *was* her fiance Ranma. Except that he was standing next to Ukyo, who
was *not* doing her level best to kill him. He also had a kinder look to
him, and Nabiki had managed to get underneath one arm and was cuddling
against his side?! But Nabiki couldn't stand Ranma, his "whatever feels
good" philosophy going right up against her strong religious beliefs.
And there was *herself?!* Except a version that was wearing a Western
cowgirl outfit and had never had her hair mostly cut off by shrapnel?
"Yes, she's the center of the strange dimensional crossrip," the other Akane
said. "It looks like our Akane was exchanged with this version. No way of
reversing the two, even if it was advisable to do so."
Nabiki left Ranma's side to sniff Akane. "She smells mainly the same. Unlike
Grey-chan."
Akane heard dimensional crossrip and immediately thought Ghostbusters.
"Hi, through some means, you've been exchanged with a violent girl known as
Akane Tendo. It doesn't look like we can fix it. So..." Jared smiled and
explained the situation, carefully avoiding anything that would be an
outright lie or which would indicate that he was indeed the person
responsible for the switch of an Akane from a "Mirror Mirror" universe with
the violent pervert that had been the native.
Akane blinked. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up. She'd
fantasized about things like this since the engagement had been given her.
She wasn't engaged to Ranma? Not the target of casual violence? Not made fun
of at school by Kuno and the others? Akane shakily adjusted her glasses and
looked over the group. But no, she was nice, how could she consign another
version of herself to the sort of Hell that had her pray daily for death?
The flame-haired boy quickly explained that nobody expected her to fill the
original's shoes. She didn't have to be a pervert or insanely violent.
Akane reconsidered. Sounded like HER Ranma had an Akane who'd appreciate
him.
"...so I'm terribly sorry, but there appears to be no way of exchanging you
back," finished the boy whom Akane was just now noticing had pointy ears
like some elf from her precious hidden Tolkein novels. Or at least they had
been hidden and precious until Kasumi had found them.
Akane smiled. "Oh. Okay. I understand if you can't do anything about it.
I'll just handle it the best I can. It's not like it's anyone's fault."
------
Grey left the household, only to find her way blocked by Nabiki-neko.
"Leaving?" The feline asked, eyeing her sister's lookalike.
"Before you do, there's one last thing," Jared said, walking up from behind.
Grey sighed. This was another occasion where she wanted nothing more than to
curl up and die. Except that willing yourself to death didn't work. She'd
tried it enough. "What is it?"
Jared made sure that Shan was *nowhere* nearby and tapped Grey's head.
"Blessed Forgetfulness." It was regretable, but having gone through all
this, and watching those she *knew* as wife or friend or cuddlesome fiancee
barely recognizing her... Well, Jared had some sympathy. Hopefully Project
Payback would work.
"Uhm, is that supposed to happen?" Nabiki pointed.
Jared blinked and looked down at where Grey was flat on her back, eyes
swirling, and purple smoke coming out of her ears. "No. It's just supposed
to purge painful memories."
Grey faded out, the now empty western cowgirl outfit slumping to the ground.
That was okay, Jared knew where the traveler would be.
------
Jared sat back along the fence marking a rubber tree plantation and watched
from the shadows. While he had absolutely no desire to interfere, he wanted
to see this nonetheless.
*Poofle!* A dragon appeared in the air.
Jared blinked. "'Poofle?!' He makes an entrance with a 'poofle'?! I have
*got* to have a talk with that boy!"
The silver dragon hovered momentarily in the air, scanning with eyes and
sense of smell even more acute than a normal elf's senses. Given time, he
might penetrate the low level glamer that Jared had erected.
Except that another silver dragon swooped down on him with a joyous screech,
the two slamming down into the surf with a mighty crash and a bugling noise
that was draconic laughter. Another silver dragon landed nearby, waiting for
the two to stop rolling around before SHE nuzzled the male, with a pair of
golds, a bronze, and other dragons landing about the two.
The high keening roars of the females and the basso thunder of the male
mingled.
If anyone from New Lindisfarne was curious, they had sufficient sense not to
get close to investigate.
Jared smiled as the dragons nuzzled and roared and rolled about playfully,
getting acquainted again in their natural forms. Or at least *a* natural
form for some of them.
"Their presence in the timeline will cause a ripple that will eject the
Knights as it passes through the relevent century. He has passed the Labor,"
came a feminine voice.
Jared raised an eyebrow and regarded the goddess nearby. "Celeste, goddess
of j-poop?"
"J-POP!" Celeste replied testily.
Jared shrugged. "You're not going to pull him out of this are you?"
"Oh, give him and them a century to finish stabilizing the timeline,"
Celeste said, not mentioning their relationships. "Then he's got his Fourth
Labor."
"What's that?" Jared smirked, thinking that it would at least be
interesting.
Celeste sighed deeply. "He's often said that he couldn't do multiple wives.
So it was decided that his next labor will be to choose. ONE. From that
selection, a Herculean task indeed."
Jared winced. "Herculean? That doesn't even scratch the surface."
He thought about it for a long moment, then delicately broached. "Celeste?"
"Hmm?" She asked, still looking at the dragons at play and thinking of what
a great song this would make. Probably have to inspire a series for it to be
a theme song to...
"Given who I am," The Pheonix Mage continued, not realizing that he was
speaking mostly to himself. "And who Grey is, and what this next labor is,
and what my usual attempts to help him do..."
The Bright Elf looked down at his hand. The pale glowing sparks of the
Lifelink spells that symbolized and connected him mentally/metaphysically
with each wife had long since ceased being a single glowing point of light
or even a small cluster of them, now appearing more like the shadow of a
whole starry universe swirling about his left arm.
The Mage heaved a long and serious sigh.
"...I think we're all better off if I NOT try giving any help to him on this
one."
------
EPILOGUE 1
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
"Mrrorwr?" Natsumi asked, brushing off her policewoman's uniform.
"No, bad Natsumi," scolded Miyuki, then groaned and covered her face.
"Sorry, Natsumi. It's just, I mean..."
Natsumi licked Miyuki's face to let her know she forgave her partner. Not
that she understood what Miyuki was feeling guilty about. "Rrowr, is okay!
Natsumi sorrry."
"I'm just glad that the Mage fixed it so that the curse wasn't
communicable," Miyuki said, wiping her face off and glaring momentarily at
her partner.
There was a moment of silence as the two's patrol car resumed motion with
the changing of the light.
"Can we?"
"NO!"
"Rowr! Why not?"
"We can't afford any more ice cream!"
"Rrrrr," said Miyuki. Life was *so* unfair.
--------
EPILOGUE 2
Krieger sat back and watched the range, then his jaw dropped as Black Bart
drove up.
The black clad Heir Of Martial Arts Villainry was not on a horse. Not on a
buckboard or anything similar. He was dressed in black cowboy boots, black
denim jeans, black duster-style overcoat, black embroidered shirt, and black
Stetson. A bit less classy, perhaps, than his usual garb but not out of
character. His moustache had been trimmed to pencil thin, but still had a
somewhat villainous look to it.
The black Yamaha dirtbike, on the other hand, was a bit odd.
Black Bart lit the stub of a cigar and nodded companionably at the Rancher.
"Took up smokin' agin, did ya?"
"Yup," agreed Black Bart companionably. "Gave it up for Kasumi, now that
she's off elsewhere, no reason not to."
"That ain't exactly genre," Kreiger pointed out with a gesture towards the
bike.
Black Bart let out another long puff of smoke. "Neither is a rancher doing
smear tactics."
"Any part of it Ah got wrong?" Kreiger smirked. He was the top gun on this
spread, and Martial Arts Ranching was the cornerstone of the Old West
styles. He knew them all.
Another puff of smoke, then Bart flicked the butt out into the desert.
"Kasumi was a treasure. A villain that throws away treasures, why that would
just be a plain fool. If nothing else, having her around would have helped
display my cultured romantic side - because I do fancy myself a cultured
villain."
Kreiger wasn't buying it. "You're a villain, and the heir of villains, you'd
have done her wrong and ya know it."
Bart considered the sky for a moment, then presented a slip of paper to the
rancher. After another moment Kreiger's curiosity got to him and he scowled
but took the paper.
Kreiger re-read the paper twice before he stared at Bart. "You..."
"When you did that, I re-dedicated myself to villainry," said Bart with a
tip of his hat. "I'll admit to losing my way before, that bright beacon of
young Kasumi was a sore temptation from the path of proper nastiness. So now
I've overcome these feelings and hardened my heart. I shall be the most vile
and fiendish creature under the heavens, and my breast burns with the desire
for unholy vengeance."
"This can't be real..."
Bart grinned, and it was an *evil* grin. "Property taxes can be a pain,
can't they? And with the affadavits from pilots overhead losin' their way
cause of your folded space technique? Damn shame. They gonna shut you down,
and the goverments gonna grab every penny and scrap to sell to make the
money you's owing. Oh, it's real alright. The fun and games are over, money
and power are the only things I've got left to grab for. That and vengeance.
Y'all might want to take comfort in that if'n I get the chance I'll pay that
pointy-eared sidewinder back a hundred fold. G'day, Kreiger."
With that Black Bart started up his dirtbike and went back towards town.
Kreiger could only stare at the paper, indicating that Bart was now working
for...
the tax courts.
-------
Epilogue 3
Nabiki set her bags momentarily to the side, leaving her hands free to snap
a couple of pictures.
This was where "Dakota" had ended up, and due to some problems at home,
where Nabiki would be spending the next year.
She was a little nervous, a little excited, a little upset. The Tendo house
had been her home for years, though it didn't feel nearly the same after it
had been rebuilt. And as Ranma hadn't chosen her...
Nabiki's face fell to sadness. She had counted herself as Alpha of that
pack, but she had been replaced. No, this trip was something she had needed.
She *couldn't* watch Ranma settle down with someone else, couldn't bear to
deal with her loss.
This place was a chance to start over, and as English was the main language
here, she could start over in international business. The concept sent a
tingle of pleasure up her tail. English was far from a perfect language, but
the better she was at it, the better her chances of getting her paws onthose
comparitively free markets. "Nyahm!" Nabiki made an uncertainly happy noise,
trying to convince herself that it would all work out.
Another quick picture, this one of the sign on the outer wall. "The Wilde
Home For Wayward Catgirls, Bridget E. Wilde headmistress."
~Well, at least I'm sure I can get a few gambling pools started, maybe sell
photos...~ Lost in ways to earn some spending money, Nabiki picked up her
bags and entered. Though she wondered if they had a dress code or would she
be able to wear her favorite "looks painted on" shorts and halter.
~Well at least they'll have clothes that don't need to modified for a tail!~
------
The headmistress looked down at the catgirl entering the grounds, and then
at the letter sent from a Mister Saotome. It sounded as if the new girl was
in need of some... discipline.
Privately, she hoped that the Head Disciplinarian wouldn't need to use the
paddle. Sometimes the threat was enough.
Glancing at the letter, she doubted that this would be the case.
-------
Naoko Takeuchi, Kotono Mitsuishi, and Michie Tomizawa became deeper friends
for having shared a genuine adventure. Even if they *had* been hustled to
the backlines when it was obvious that their combined battle experience was
not sufficient to beat up an anemic halfling. Even if any of the three had
been inclined to do so.
Naoko had to tone down several aspects, and take liberties with the
material, but she *was* able to get another long running series dealing with
magical catgirls, a world beset with a kingdom of dark magic, and a very
ragtag group of heroes (mainly young girls - that *was* her target audience
after all) and a few sentai elements like demonic hordes.
This was particularly popular, for some odd reason, with catgirls and
elfgirls and the like. So much so, that it wasn't that difficult to find
catgirls and elfgirls and the like wearing clothing patterned off the
series.
And when catgirls and elfgirls and the like discovered COSPLAY...
Naoko and several friends took a long and well deserved vacation shortly
thereafter.
And when someone asked a question about the longsword on Takeuchi's mantle,
or the ornate helm in Mitsuishi's closet, or the bluesteel dagger that
Tomizawa used to open mail with, the three young ladies would politely smile
and get a faraway look in their eyes, but never gave the details.
-------
Soun Tendo would have cried and wailed and carried on about his middle
daughter moving out, his eldest daughter going to college, his youngest
daughter repeatedly stating that the "Art was violent and hurtful and she
wasn't going to do it." He would have demon-headed and shouted all sorts of
things about Shampoo and Ranma and Ukyo going off to have a long training
trip and talk things out.
He would have, but *they* might find him. That would be bad. In Soun Tendo's
opinion at least.
Genma was hiding somewhere else. Soun didn't want to try hiding *with* his
old friend.
Before almost everyone had left, they had gotten together and done something
*awful.* (Again, this was just Soun's opinion.)
Soun currently had five fiancees.
Genma had six. Despite already having a wife.
There was a scientist named Yui Ikari who was actually very nice, however
she also had a boyfriend that somehow reminded Soun of a rabid weasel. There
was a pro-wrestler named Lady Sumo who was 6'5" and weighed 410 pounds. Then
there was Oolala Magnifique, aka French Pastry, whose family were the rivals
of the Picolette family. Then there was the Chinese Amazon, Sunshine. Who
made comments about the kind of bridal training she wanted to put Soun
through. Then the most horrible of the group - a kitsune named Lavia. He
could never be sure when or as what the overamorous being would show up.
Soun was afraid. He was very afraid.
And he had good reason.
------
Epilogue 4:
The sun was rising high as Rigel and Wisp started out. A letter from the
Mistress of the Promenade, to an old and irascible mage of Shadowdale, had
been tucked into a pocket. Give it to a barkeep in the town of Shadowdale,
that had been the sum total of their instructions. This, they supposed,
would eventually get them in contact with the Harpers or perhaps they'd
merely get directions on a place they could call their own.
With the moorhound Champ trotting alongside, the elf and the esper seemed an
odd couple. Though by local standards, hardly anything worth raising an
eyebrow over.
A third figure, tugging the folds of her cloak tightly about her mumbled
about how damn bright it was and couldn't they travel by night?
"Wonderful day, isn't it?" A grizzled old dwarf proclaimed, in the lead on
his pony Surefoot. "Ah open land with the sky above! Hardly a cloud in the
sky!"
More grumbling from the hooded figure replied to this. She knew that people
would look at their group and immediately pigeonhole them as: dwarf wearing
half-plate + elf wearing leathers + human without armor carrying a staff +
hooded figure = another damn adventuring party. And as there was nothing
really expensive showing, such as glowing swords, and most were walking,
they'd immediately add "unsuccessful" to "adventuring party" and leave them
alone. Didn't mean she had to like it anymore than having to travel by day.
And there was something aggravating about a cheerful optimistic dwarf.
Especially this early in the morning.
"Either of you kids know any good marching songs?"
The hooded figure seemed to make a sobbing noise at that. For *her* sake,
and not wanting to hear what the old axe-for-hire's singing voice was like,
both Rigel and Wisp indicated that this was not the case.
The trip from Waterdeep to Shadowdale was going to be long enough.
-------
Epilogue 5
Moom, who looked an awful lot like a girl named Usagi Tsukino would if she
had short hair, married the Security Chief (who looked an *awful* lot like
someone named Mamoru Chiba) of a certain orbital dock.
Her friends continued to operate a Lu-class repairship, renamed the "Small
Lady" for many years in that very star system.
It wasn't until five years later that love and adventure stumbled across
them in the identity of a bumbling apprentice Jedi and his friend - an
ex-Imperial Scanning Officer. One who remembered tales of a secret base
where an Imperial Governor had hidden his carefully embezzled wealth. Not
knowing of the great dangers lurking there, or exactly what had been
hidden - other than it was of great value.
But that was another saga.
-------
Epilogue 6
912 AD:
Ami sunk her fangs into the blue dragon's neck a final time, making sure it
was dead, then turned her bloodstained snout up to the sky to bugle her
triumph.
Then she turned to her companions in this last battle and very distinctly
said: "I am going to be ill. Yech! I hate getting blood all over me like
this!"
"Tell me about it," said Setsuna. "Can I get a priest over here? This sprain
in my wing is going to give me some major problems."
"That the last one, you think?" Honey stretched out her limbs. "That one was
tougher than the black or the green."
The bronze dragon watched for a moment. "Nuku Nuku going to go to beach and
get cleaned up. Anyone help?"
Grey nodded. "Sure be with you in a minute. Errr. Or maybe not."
Everyone craned long serpentine necks around to see what Grey was looking
at. A human female, walking forward.
Grey sniffed, then cocked his head at the figure. "Celeste? I suppose that
means it's time."
Celeste nodded, looking around at the massive figures of twenty-four
dragons. "I see Serenity found you."
"Last year," Grey admitted. "Has this timeline turned out well?"
"In some ways yes, in others not as well as could be hoped," Celeste
admitted. "The Amazon soldiers coming to the aid of the minutemen transform
early American society, as does the presence of the priests. But the book
left behind by the Knights no longer bears much resemblence to the history
of this plane, and so it can do no harm. It is merely dismissed as a bizarre
piece of fiction."
"Good," breathed the relieved silver dragon.
"How do you get along with this many girls anyway?" Celeste wondered aloud,
though it seemed strange to call these glittering multiton forms girls.
"He doesn't," said Ami with a grin, butting her head against his neck
playfully a moment later.
"Hah?" Celeste blinked.
"Aramarian dragons are slightly different from their Forgotten Realms style
compatriots," explained Grey. "If you need further details, I could suggest
a couple of decent books."
Ami snorted a cloud of frost, then looked slightly embarrassed.
"I see, well, your Fourth Labor awaits," Celeste called up, feeling a little
nervous as some of the dragons moved around her. Not that they'd intend to
hurt her, but if one accidently stepped on her it would not be a pleasant
experience.
Celeste waited until the dragons had finished nuzzling and bumping heads,
draconic gestures of affection. The Gate crackled open, and the dragons
filed through, Ami managing a last affectionate nip at Grey's neck-frill
before they disengaged. When they'd gone, the smile ran from Celeste's face
like water from a tipped chalice. "If only they could remember this... but
the conditions of this Labor were set long ago. I only hope they can
experience this again after the game has run."
----------
Epilogue 7
Third Labor Timeline, August 9, 1780
Benjamin Franklin sat down to scribe the latest edition of "Poor Richard's
Almanac" and wondered where to start.
His upcoming trip to the Amazon lands? Something that he was *really*
looking forward to. Though he'd have to exercise a bit more than he'd
prefer, and the Amazons *did* have some odd customs. Still, in all, it had
some attraction to him. He'd met a number of the Amazons, of course, during
the war. They might prefer to form their own units, and were often described
as "aloof" or "standoffish" but they'd proven themselves as capable warriors
in the fight with the British.
The production of that Lindisfarne love story? Some would say *the* love
epic from that group of monks and farmers in the far South. Two youths in
the early years of the colony that had a series of adventures and underwent
trials to become a shining example of true love. "Ranma and Ukyo" - and
apparently they really had been such a couple. There were a few families who
proudly traced their lineage back to the couple. It had actually been a good
play, and some of the lines had resounded with the feeling of some Great
Truth being spoken.
The war news? Perhaps. The news criers tended to get details wrong. The use
of the Amazons and their odd fighting habits, the priests and warriors from
the South - these were all things that fascinated the common folk - many of
whom had never even seen an Amazon.
Finally the inventor/politician/satirist decided on beginning with something
upbeat. The chirurgeons of Lindisfarne had truly bizarre methods, however
they worked uncommonly well and held the Scientific Method in the highest
degree. And some of their materials! Just the uses for this sap of the
rubber tree, molded and cooked in special furnaces, seemed incredible. But
above all, they had one thing that seemed to have a special place in their
hearts, even more common than the dragon-motif in their garb and utensils.
They had this really good tea.
Since the colonies had found the price of Lindisfarne tea had severely
undercut the price of British tea, it had become a point of pride among the
colonists to drink the good stuff. Herbal teas, and this "green tea" which
was currently all the rage. The Southerners swore by the stuff, began their
days with it, and said that it benefitted the health. Ben sat back and
sipped at his tea and smiled.
*In keeping with our allies from the South, it seems fitting to open with
tea...
============
Wilde's Home For Wayward Catgirls used with permission. link is:
http://www.bewildered-art.com/catgirls/
Oh, and from the "laws of anime"
26.Law of Feline Mutation (from A. Hicks) Any half-cat/half-human mutation
will invariably: 1. be female, 2.will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a
genetic mutation, 3.and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
Kakusui Yakushiji.
OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE
well, i've done stories as an Omake... Thought i'd try something different.
This is a campaign setting, i've been playing with the idea of throwing this
out for a story.
DRAGON HIGHWAY:
Dragon Highway was built originally using the Hero System (Champions) in
1984. It was designed for Self (or nearly so) Insertion as game characters
based as 50+ Competents. It borrows from the old anime series Orguss more
than anything else.
What would you do if one day, fighting in the Middle East escalated to
nuclear weapons?
What would you do if, somehow, (there was a mechanism, but the characters
would have no way of knowing what it was) Reality itself went nuts for 23
hours?
What would you do with over 9 out of 10 people suddenly missing without a
trace?
What would you do during that 23 hours, with things/characters coming out of
videotapes, falling out of your anime wallscroll/poster, or in books and
magazines? What would you do if an idle comment affected reality nearby?
What would *you* do after that 23 hours was up, and all the changes that had
occurred earlier remained?
There you are, probably altered significantly, in your home town. There are
flesh-eating zombies wandering the streets, mannequins and manticores
stalking the main drag, things that crawled out of the Horror section
lairing in the videostore, and a dragon has made its lair out of the biggest
shopping mall in the area.
Exactly how do you handle this?
Note that this setting concept allowed one to play fictional characters
drawn to this world, or normal people transformed into their likeness. So
yes, beginning series Ranma *was* a possibility.
Obviously the group i ran handled this in the very sort of manner of
experienced gamers. In other words: they grabbed weapons (two handguns, the
SCA player had a sword, a baseball bat and a phaser pried from the cold dead
fingers of a Klingon, went to the nearest gunshop, blasted their way through
the ghouls and vargouilles, upgraded their weapons, and then went after what
they considered the motherload - a local hardware store (Ace) followed by an
Army/Navy Surplus.
The group conflicted on long term goals, the short term being survival and
something everyone agreed was the primary goal and something they could
cooperate on.
They died, eventually. Splitting up and meeting horrible ends. Two wanted to
find and join up with the other survivors. (Ran into a swarm of jocks while
trying to hotwire a pickup truck.) One had found some girls who'd fallen out
of a swimsuit calender and merely locked himself in a room with them (never
heard from again). Another got greedy and went off to empty the bank's
coffers into a large heap and swim around in them. (Eaten by a wight.) The
last one decided to the Food Court at the mall, figuring the dragon was
sufficiently large it wouldn't notice him. (Obvious.)
Another run of it, back in 93, had similar results. Everything worked fine
until the teamwork fell apart, then so did the characters.
Still, everyone had a ball until their ammo ran out.
i named the thing "Dragon Highway" because the plan was for (1 month after
the Event) dragons to use the various highways as territory markers.
-----------
Having seen enough to know that this wasn't
a slapstick but a heroic moment, Ukyo played it to
the hilt. After all, when had she had a chance to
do something like this in HER life? "Enter the high
school warrior-chef (sentai-pose - chain to spinning
the spatula around and another pose with it behind
her in a more samurai pose) whose spatula strikes
injustice. Ukyo Kuonji, age 16!" (gleam of teeth)
-Reluctant Bet
metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/