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Imagine, if you will, a car.
***
*queue cheesy Sailormoon background music*
"Haha! Stupid little girls in strange weird-looking
too-short school uniforms will never defeat us, even if
one of you have my voice, and it doesn't matter
anyways-"
"Is she your cousin, Usagi?"
"Of course not! I'm a ditz, but I'm not *that* ditzy!"
"Evade that Hyatt girl's blood attack, Makoto! It contains
extremely dangerous toxins!"
***
It doesn't need to be a particularly nice one. Maybe a
cheap early-90's Japanese model, with manual steering
and brakes that jam every few months. Take a bit of the
paint off, and put a few fungi into the cushions. Add a
few drops of canine waste for flavoring if you want.
***
"-because I'm unique and I'm the main character and you
can't kill me, and I'm doing this because my love for our
great and mighty leader Ilpalazzo is so pure, it beats
100%-"
"What are they doing with that dog?"
"Hey, Artemis, isn't that your sworn enemy?"
"It's . . . it's MENCHI! Noooooo!!!!!"
"I think she's kinda cute."
"God, that blood is gross. Is Hyatt finally dead???"
***
Nice, ain't it? Yeah? Cool.
***
"Yes! . . . Er, no!"
"What?!?!?"
"She's reanimating her flesh by draining ambient
life-energy!"
"-pure orange juice! Normally I wouldn't be able to
afford it but since its mine anyways you can't do
anything-"
"Where are you going, Artemis?"
"I need to find Doraemon, quick!"
***
Now, make it second-hand. Then put it into an extremely
expensive parking space in Azaba Juuban.
***
"-about it! And gawd, I don't know why I'm talking my
head off to people who probably aren't listening
anyways, but ain't it cool how I can go on like this
without ever taking any breathes? Its another one of
my-"
"Don't listen to the blond girl's words! I think they're
some kind of deranged attempt at mind-control!"
"-special main character abilities that nobody else has
and you can't do anything about it-"
"I dunno. It sounds a lot like Usagi blabbing her head
off."
"Hey!"
***
Ooh, wow. A parking space on *Tokyo,* man. Lots of
class. There's only one problem with this scenario.
***
"-because not even falling down a hundred miles can
stop me! Not even your immensely cool background
music can do it! Na-na-na-na-nah-nah. Biiiii! Let's bring
on the Giant Robos! Big-O, iiiiiits shoooooow tiiiiiime!"
*rumble*
"She appears to be summoning something!"
"Jupiter Oak Evolution!" *boom*
"Haha! You will never defeat the mysterious
organization Across! In the name of Ilpalazzo, I claim
this city! Hyatt! Attaaaaaaack!!!!"
"Yes, Sempai . . . *blut*"
***
Watch out for the flaming debris.
***
ACROSSACROSSACROSSACROSS
N anashimanga presents
A n Experimental Fanfiction . . .
E | U S A G I ~_~
XOVERSGALOREANDMORE
C | S A G A >_<;;
ENTERTHEFAILEDEXPERIMENT
L by SeventhOne
ACROSSACROSSACROSSACROSS
***
Coming never to an FFML near you . . .