Subject: [FFML] [Xover][fanfic]Third Labor, chapter 19
From: metroanime@mindspring.com
Date: 1/14/2001, 7:12 PM
To: "FFML" <FFML@fanfic.com>

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thought it's Sunday, traffic's light, might as well send a 2nd chapter

today, ne?



Third Labor, chapter 19

"Beach Bunny Bingo?"



Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is by Yoshihiro Togashi, Sailor Moon is by Naoko

Takeuchi, oh and those two just had a baby boy. Wonder if the kid'll take up

the family trade...

other stuff by Gregg Sharp, metroanime@mindspring.com

additional scenes by White Pheonix

you can find previous chapters at www.fanfiction.net



"He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears." -Montaigne





--------



To understand what was going on in a certain room of the Tendo house one

must understand what *had* happened.



Jared had made a simple mistake, using one of the psuedo-pokeballs Rafael

(the archangel, not the mutant ninja turtle) had created he had captured

Nabiki to get her out of the bathroom as he didn't particularly enjoy being

spied on.



Akane (at that time Grey) had used a ritual casting of Remove Curse to

remove the Catfist from Ranma. No more cat phobia. No more Catfist. And a

few related psychological problems also could be resolved on the part of one

Ranma Saotome.



The cat spirit part of the Catfist ended up captured with Nabiki and the two

merged, forming a composite being. Enter Nabiki the catgirl, who adapted to

her condition fairly quickly as it was apparent that it *could* be cured,

but once cured could never be reinstated. She quickly found that leaping

small buildings and feeling more alive than ever was addictive and she had

been putting off her return to normal into a category called "eventually".

After all, it was amazingly comfortable, she wasn't exactly helpless with

the Catfist and she was discovering all sorts of things besides money could

be enjoyable. Why cut it all short when there were discoveries and pleasures

still waiting for her to find them?



It didn't help that her body wasn't the only thing catty about her. The two

natures had quickly merged, producing behavior that hearkened straight to a

feline nature.



Nabiki had, prior to the change, been concerned with her emergent image as

the ironhearted mercenary, the cold ice queen, the evil money-grubbing witch

of Furinkan. The revelation that most of her own family had taken her mask

for herself had caused her to forcibly distance herself from her usual

pursuits. Then, after the change, she couldn't believe that she'd ever been

that petty or blind. Shaking down mousies for money was fine, but one had to

have priorities and goals and not confusing the means with the goal.



The catgirl had recently gotten very cuddlesome with her new iinazuke, the

boy Ranma. Some speculated that it was the cat spirit, having been a part of

Ranma for so long, was naturally attracted to its old host. She had, in the

manner of a cat, viewed the two major rivals to her tom as actually being

lesser members of the pride. She had, as far as Nabiki was concerned, chosen

her Alpha male. The two other females might challenge her position, but

their strength strengthened the pride - therefore these two were acceptable

as their own abilities made the pride more valuable.



In an effort to get Ranma to "loosen up" with Nabiki, Genma had come up with

the incredibly clever (in his own mind at least) idea of sprinkling catnip

on Ranma's boxer shorts and stuffing a roll of it in the seam. This, he

felt, would cement the Tendo-Saotome alliance.



Ukyo and Shampoo, hearing *their* Ranma being attacked by that weird

catgirl, attempted to intervene.



With Nabiki stoned out of her mind from a catnip overdose, her control over

something else was lacking. Felines did something else that humans did not.

Something of a monthly nature.



"Hey! Those are my pants! Put them down Nabiki!"



"Aiyah! Crazy catgirl no make off with airen's... hmmm."



"Hmmmm."



"WOULD YOU TWO STOP STARING! Nabiki's on catnip but she's acting even

weirder than usual. Maybe if we... uh oh she's getting ready to do

something."



"Stupid catgirl miss Shampoo! Oh. That Shampoo's best pantsuit you no take!"



"What's she doing?!"



"Shampoo say she take off spatula girl's breast bindings, top, and spatula.

Now out window with Shampoo's and Airen's clothes. Shampoo will get

revenge!"



"Uh oh, Ranchan, I don't like the look in her eyes."



"Shampoo see that look in Mousse's eyes once. Shampoo say 'uh oh' too!"



"No, Nabiki. Don't! Lemmee go! Stop rubbing your face on my..."



"Catgirl stop... AHHH! Shampoo not mean you grab Shampoo! Catgirl is pervert

girl! Get off Shampoo!"



"Let's get out of here, Ranchan, while Shampoo keeps her... uh oh. Nice

kitty! Nice kitty! No! Nice kitties don't do that!"



Jared, out on a date with Kasumi, felt a chill but didn't otherwise react.

He had more pressing concerns.



Besides, Ranma could handle it.



-------



Very Very Elsewhere:



"'Pika pi'!" ("Where the hell am I now?!") "Pi ika!" (Sorry, couldn't

resist.)



Kiyone looked down at the palm display. "How am *I* supposed to know?"



"Pi pika pi pikachu." Ed sighed, resulting in a little mushroom puff of air.

(Isn't this sort of thing only supposed to happen to Grey?)



"Could be worse," Kiyone said, then clapped a hand over her mouth.



"Kiiiiyoneeeee!" A blonde appeared at the far end of the street and began

moving at high speeds towards them.



"AAAA!" Kiyone summed up her opinion and started working the D-Hopper at

high speeds. "Nonononono! No Mihoshi. Mihoshi bad. I'll get an ulcer before

I turn thirty."



Ed nodded. Kiyone + Mihoshi = a sort of Junior Dirty Pair. Property values

plummeted.



"Kiiiiyoonneeee!" Mihoshi leapt.



Kiyone and Ed vanished.



*WHAM!*



Mihoshi did a full speed, one point (her nose) landing on some boy.



Ryoga looked up, saw the blonde girl straddling him like an oil rig, and

particularly at the two flotation devices framing his face.



*SPLURT!* *THUD!*



Mihoshi saw the nosebleed and faint and came to an incorrect if

understandable conclusion. "Oh no! I've hurt some poor Earthperson! What do

I do? What do I do?"



After a few minutes of repeating this, she had an idea. Take him to the

Yagami and have her ship's medical scanners work on him!



How she ended up launching the Yagami was another question.



Ryoga, finding himself in deep space with a perky blonde spacebunny, figured

he'd try flying it back to Earth while the spacebunny spent a lot of time

fretting. How hard could it be, anyway?



--------



Elsewhere



Jared had split himself into three versions, mainly trying to get a lot done

at the same time. Right now one was staying at the Tendo home. Another was

trying to clear his mind of a sordid maze of problems he had just left. Also

to resume where he'd left off.



"Well, at least it's a beach this time." Mina bounced over to the sands and

spiked her tent in the ground. They'd use it for shade and a place to relax

later.



Amy, Helen and Lita ran over to join her, spreading out blankets and putting

away food baskets where they would stay cool.



Michelle kissed her ring and was surrounded by waves of water suspended in

rings around her. With a laugh she flew over to the sea and disappeared

underwater, then returned a moment later with a huge and ornate shell. "The

water's fine. Safe from all predators and swimmable, at least. Look at this

shell!"



The Pheonix Mage grudgingly admitted that this was, in all probability,

superior to any beach on California they'd find. Unless they hit one a rough

thousand years before the tourist seasons began.



As half the girls were already swimming, splashing, searching out sea shells

or other ocean treasures, the volleyball courts were already drawn and the

refreshments started, the Mage decided it wasn't worth relocating and went

out to join in the fun.



Susan was the first to notice the shooting star. "Shampoo, your Scout realm

is Air. Do we have any meteorlogical dangers here?"



The perky, purple-haired Amazon touched an earring and a visor spread over

her face as she began scanning. "Is no meteor. Is spaceship."



Cologne, who was suntanning nearby, winced. "Shampoo, *must* you?"



Shampoo giggled. "I'm sorry, but it's so *fun* to speak like that

sometimes."



The Pheonix mage ran by, pursued by a dozen girls bearing tickling

instruments and feathers. Shampoo blinked. "What? The 'Tickle Husband'

contest has already begun? Excuse me." She vanished in a puff of purple hair

and a flash of feet.



Shan floated down beside Cologne and Susan, gripping her power key staff in

one hand while she munched on a gooey fritter stick with the other. Like all

the girls, her swimsuit was flattering, elaborate and beautiful, and gave

the impression of being far less decent than it actually was.



"Shan," Susan asked. "Is that falling spaceship going to hit us?"



The Ifurita class cyborg looked up at the falling star, so bright and close

that it was visible in the daylight. Tossing the last of the fritter stick

in her mouth, she sucked off the goo from her fingers and leveled the power

staff. A bolt of light spat out and met the oncoming meteor. When the two

met and touched they expanded into a falling cloud of debris.



"It not danger now!" Shan chirped as she sped off for seconds.



"Oh my." Chorused the Tendo Twins, Kasumi and Nabiki, and they paused in

coming up bearing

an ice chest between them.



Susan fought the urge to giggle. ~Trust Shan to...~ "Sailors Gemini, we

should go check for survivors."



Cologne raised up on her arms, then reached back to fasten her top from

where she'd opened it to receive more of this sun's rays, still delighting

in her newfound youth. "I'll come too."



Scarlet ran up. "Hey! Can I come too?" Then her hands found their way to her

hips and she berated the two other Tendos. "Kasumi, Nabiki, you don't have

to shudder *every* time I come along, you know."



Cologne was chuckling. "Well, ever since that other Akane began disguising

herself as you to steal our underwear..."



"That pervert swings BOTH ways?!!" Scarlet shuddered. "Ugh. No, I take that

back, shudder all you want." She then went on muttering about what she was

going to do to that perverted hedonist the next time they caught her.



Susan directed a look to the young elder. "Akane doesn't steal girls

underwear. She's only interested in doing perverted things to Jay-chan."



"The way that 'Slashing and Burning' can be compared to bringing home

firewood." Kasumi whispered aside to her sisters.



Scarlet ceased muttering to listen.



Cologne pulled a pair of silk boxers with a pheonix embroidered on them out

from nowhere. "I didn't say she stole the underwear we *wear*. Only that it

was ours."



The Tendo Twins each pulled out similar treasures and began to rub them with

their cheeks, giving out long, drawn out sighs of pleasure.



Scarlet hung her head. "You guys are *SO* weird."



"You haven't tried it," muttered Cologne.



Susan coughed into her fist. "Uh, survivors? Anyone want to go look for

them?"



A batwinged Ranko circled around. Should she mention it or not? Oh dear.



--------



Mihoshi wailed as the lifepod made a few more plaintive beeps then shut

down.



Ryoga merely stared. Somehow somewhere he knew. He held the crying girl

close and went to his stance of Righteous Declaration. "RANMA SAOTOME, THIS

IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" It had to be Ranma's fault.



It was Ranma's fault he was stranded on some strange planet!



It was Ranma's fault that he was stuck on a tropical island on a strange

planet!



It was Ranma's fault that he was stuck on a tropical island on a strange

planet with some curvy blonde spacebunny!



It was Ranma's fault that he was stuck hugging some curvy blonde spacebunny

on some tropical island on some strange planet!



It was Ranma's fault that the curvy blonde spacebunny was hugging him back

on some tropical island on some strange planet and...



Ryoga Hibiki stopped. He was on a strange planet. On a tropical island

stocked with exotic fruits. With a blonde curvaceous spacebunny. Who was

hugging him. And crying. And he wasn't turning into a pig?!



Ryoga began freaking out. He didn't see any demons from hell, taunting

redheaded transgendered martial artists, or anything really BAD (by his

standards at least) occurring around him. This was something unique in Ryoga

Hibiki's life.



"Why aren't I turning into a pig?" Ryoga wondered aloud, a wave breaking

over his foot.



"Hmmm. Oh it must've been the medical facilities, I had it run a full

diagnostic and use a nanobot 'fix everything' curative." Mihoshi sniffled a

few times. While this guy was no Tenchi, he certainly had broad shoulders.

All the better to cry on considering how Kiyone had vanished again.



Ryoga blinked. Everything fixed? That meant...



Ryoga fainted, unable to deal with the concept that something good had

happened to him.



--------



Back in the Pokemon world just vacated:



Jessie sighed and looked sadly into the mirror. She was back to her

accustomed natural beauty, but... her old dream had been so close to

unexpected fulfillment. She could have been a pokemon nurse, nobody would

have thought twice about a Chansey in such a role.



She was just having trouble getting enthusiastic about being a member of

Team Rocket. Maybe they should go after something besides Ash's Pikachu...

Maybe.



"I've got it!" Jessie brightened slightly.



"What's that Jessie?" James asked from where he was similarly moping. The

mage could at least have made him a pretty pokemon. No he had to be a Bug

type, then turned back. Phooey.



"The Mage left that scrawny girl-twerp with the main twerp!" Jessie

proclaimed, managing to fake a certain amount of enthusiasm. "And he gave

her a stone which would transform her back from being some Mermaid to human

again! She hasn't used it yet, I'll bet!"



James blinked, immediately picturing himself as a mermaid. "Hmmmm."



Meowth brought a fist down on an open palm. "That's brilliant! We'll swipe a

unique Mermaid type, *and* that stone! And maybe we can get Pikachu while

we're at it!"



"Bwahahahahahahaha!" The sound of three clueless bandits echoed into the

woods.



A few miles away, Misty got a chill. Even inside her pokeball.



----------



SMJ World:



Jared had cast a "Body Outside Body" spell and had split into several

selves. Using the duplicated Spelltrap, he was able to maintain more than

one of himself for an extended time. Current estimates were that he could do

this for a week before having to re-merge, and then he might have to spend

yet *more* time recovering.



The one in the SMJ world was attempting to recover as much of Geltland's

plasma technology as possible.



And watching little drow girls, human girls, and human boys interacting in

the palace grounds. This was most strange.



Lorelei was scared of him. Not surprising. She had a *massive* amount of

guilt that she was carrying around, despair over her feelings for Otaru

Mamiya, and felt responsible for the entirity of Terra Two. She was afraid

he would turn out to be an angel of vengeance. She was afraid also of many

things that she herself could not name.



She also missed Nabiki. The doctor and the catgirl had gotten along

amazingly (and surprisingly) well considering how different the two were. It

served to remind Jared that sometimes not having a lot in common was better

than having the wrong things in common.



The plasma technology was only half of the mission objectives, however.

Project Payback was still underway.



So was something unusual.



Jared had noted that several marionette prototypes were still loyal to

Ginseng. Not all were powerful prototypes, some were tests of a particular

muscle fiber or memory circuit where the unit had to be observed over a long

period of time. There were marionettes that looked like "standard" units,

marionettes that had very obviously been customized to look like characters

that Jared was *quite* familiar with, and marionettes which had been

developed that were just too strange for everyday use no matter how well she

worked.



And ever since they had found out that Jared knew where Ginseng had gone,

and was capable of going there he had been under constant surveillance.



Jared glanced to the sides as he walked towards his lab. The ninja-girl and

the spidergirl (six arms and clung to walls) were watching from the shadows.

The Kiima-lookalike was half-hidden by that roof's peak over there. Some

were more obvious than others. A fairly common model, except that she had an

Ishi Kairo and had been used to test a new concept in artificial nerve

actuators, was one of the more obvious ones. As she was still stuck in the

barrel she'd fallen in yesterday, Jared looked down at the pair of legs and

blue kimono sticking out and bit back an unkind comment. If she was still

there this evening he'd have to pull her out before her batteries were

depleted.



The main thrust of his studies, the plasma technologies, had proven to be a

tough nut to crack. On several occasions, he'd been tempted to summon Grey,

simply because 'Ginseng' already had a considerable amount of experience

with the whole thing. Gennai, Lorelei, and any of the Japonesse scientists

hadn't any clue. Heck, most of what *Ginseng* had come up with they didn't

fully understand and s/he had left notes! (Not many, and some were written

in odd languages, but there were notes.)



The Geltland records he'd managed to collect weren't much better. In order

to safely discharge or store the energy of multiple plasma strikes, one

needed cooling tubes, pumps, exchange devices, among other things. It was

possible to build a ship that could safely move through a plasma storm, a

big ship. Not build the same thing into a marionette, unless the marionette

was 60 ft tall at least.



There were missing records and data, however. Jared was missing one major

piece of the puzzle, and that irked him.



The Japonesse government was also looking for Doctor Hess, the brain behind

the plasma-dispersal system among a lot of other things that Faust had

utilized. They hadn't found him, which didn't surprise Jared too much. That

*he* couldn't locate the mad scientist was a bit more surprising. Some of

the data accumulated indicated that Hess *might* be more of a problem than

most of the natives combined.



"Ivan..." Jared breathed, hoping it wasn't true. If it *was* the Specialist,

the records indicated he'd been on this world for two hundred years.

Artificially reincarnating himself much the same as Faust (First) and Ieyasu

had done. What he could have done or learned in that amount of time was

worrisome. And if he was still working for the same boss the last time a

certain superspy adventurer had crossed his path...



Well, that *could* pose a problem.



-------



Akumakun/Ranma timeline:



Akane brought the two battered tin cups, apple cider for one and milk for

the other. "Tweren't expecting visitors this late, y'know? Ah really need to

find some other name. Akane's out as the native's still around."



"Though many of the natives seem to regard you as the real Akane," pointed

out Jared as he sipped at his cider. Hmm. A blend. Granny Smith and...

Macintosh?



"Well, they're calling you Akai and Akane, Akane, though some are calling

you Akane and my sister Akuma," noted Nabiki, resisting the urge to pour the

milk into a saucer and lap it up. She avoided saying anything about the

not-in-genre camping lantern. It was too late, and frankly she was feeling

some embarassment about her earlier actions.



"My point, it's too confusing with two 'Akanes' running around." Akane said,

tossing her hair back and winking. Secretly she wondered what Nabiki could

have done where SHE looked embarassed. Probably none of her business but she

was curious anyway. "Which is another reason ah wanted to move out."



"Your loss," pointed out Nabiki, "that furo is just wonderrrful."



"You mean that and Akane regarding you as the demon responsible for those

problems she doesn't blame myself or Ranma for," Jared noted. "Though she's

not THAT particular about assigning blame."



"This way ah can spend my time immersed in the martial arts, and mebbee get

some honest sleep." Akane shrugged. "With Kasumi around trying to 'awaken my

feminine nature' that was gonna be a problem sooner or later. Even if i used

the Security Protocols to lock her out..."



There was a knock at the door.



"So how did the Big Date go?" With a slight frown, Akane went to the door,

opened it briefly, then slammed it shut with a panicked expression.

"Whatamigonna do?!"



"Is it Black Bart?" Nabiki asked. She had some Kasumi pictures to try to

sell him. Who else would be skulking in the dead of night like this?



"Is it my fiancees?" panicked Jared. Had they figured out his trick of the

spelltrapped Body Outside Body spell? And would he now be dragged off to the

beach for a group date?



"It isn't Kuno-baby, is it?" Nabiki asked with arched brow. Kuno had been

trying to get pictures of both Akane, his "pigtailed girl", and the "fire

haired lass" and it was getting *awfully* hard to say no when the amount

offered kept going up. Though it was after midnight, and somehow Kuno didn't

strike her as being that much the night owl.



"Excuse me," said a woman's voice. "May I come in?"



"It's Ami," said Akane, blocking the door and looking a little freaked.

"What do i do? How the blazes do i explain THIS?!"



Jared nodded thoughtfully. "How do you explain that her husband is currently

five years younger and female?" It wasn't the sort of question to normally

come up, even on one of those daytime talk shows. Well, not very often

anyway.



"Excuse me," said the voice from the door, knocking again. The door rattled.



"Maybe we should blast it open?" Another female voice asked.



"Eeep?!" Akane began to go from Somewhat Panicked to Horribly Embarassed

with a side order of Panic.



"Well, I could..." Jared began considering possibilities out of this. He

could try a Teleport, of course. Except if he did that he'd run the chance

of Grey's luck factor working something in. Maybe cast an Illusion of an

empty room? No, they obviously knew he was here. Maybe...



The door flew open, crashing into the far wall. Unfortunately, Akane was

still on the far side of that door. "owie..."



Ami stepped in, quickly flanked by Haruka and Michiru. "Where is he? What

have you done with him?"



"That's actually rather complicated," said Jared truthfully.



"He's behind that door," said Michiru, pointing at the same door that had

just been flung across the room.



When the door had been removed to reveal a sixteen year old long haired girl

in a western outfit, there was much staring.



"I could have sworn," Michiru said with some hesitation, "that that was

him."



Haruka pulled open the shirt of the unconscious girl. "Nope. Definitely not

a him."



"...but i don't wanna go to a Ranma/Wind Named Amnesia timeline..."



"Grey?!" Ami squeaked, staring at the girl who was groaning and beginning to

get up.



"...uhm, hi Ami. Errr. Uhm. i..."



Haruka squatted down again, yanking off the girl's sport bra and giving a

closer examination. "He... is a girl!" She squeezed the evidence in

question. Certainly felt real.



"Please don't do that," said Akane.



Jared faded into the background, pulling Nabiki with him. He had a feeling,

especially as the rest of the "Scouts" (plus three cast members of

Evangelion) were crowding the room, that things were already more than

complicated enough and he should give them time to sort things out.



Nabiki, on the other hand, wanted to hear this and had to be physically

carried away.



Akane looked down. "Uhm, Haruka? They're real. Could ya stop doing that?"



Makoto looked at the girl, and remembered a scene she'd seen as she had

entered the dimensional barrier.



------



The crowd of new students got off the bus and stood around with their

luggage, getting their first good look at the new environs.



"Chilly today," said a tall girl with her brown hair pulled back in a

ponytail to no one in particular. She was feeling friendless and in a

strange environment.



"Hi people," a darkskinned whitehaired woman said. "It's a bit cool today,

but these students with me will help show you to your rooms and help with

your briefing."



The young man who stepped up to the tall girl gave her a frankly appraising

look, then smiled. "Hi. i'm Kes. Need help with your bag?"



"Uhm, Lita, Lita Storm, look I can manage," the tall girl responded. Though

she found herself liking the way the boy wasn't put off by her height.



The boy shrugged. "Okay, well. Japanese?"



"Half," Lita said, lifting her bags. "Just show me to my room, will ya?"



Shrugging again, the boy led her into the main building. "Okay, but if you

want a tour guide or whatever, i'm available. Cafeteria's that way, there's

studies all over the place, and downstairs is off limits. What's your juice

anyway, if you don't mind me askin'?"



"'Juice'?" Lita wondered if she would ever get the hang of English.



"'Juice' as in power, talent, ability. Don't wanna pry, but if you've got

something really dangerous like poison sweat it's best if you let people

know in advance." Kes led her to a large room with a lot of bunks. "Well,

grab one. Everybody else's doin' the tour thing."



"Right," Lita said, deciding to grab a top bunk in the corner. "You can go

now."



Kes shrugged, he'd hoped to make a friend but it was getting obvious that

the tall girl was sincerely not interested. "Okay, well, don't forget that

everyone else here, mostly, is the same as you."



"Somehow I doubt that," said Lita. "What do you mean 'mostly'?"



"Well, there's two normal humans here, and then there's me. Everybody else

is mutants like yourself. Welcome to 'Xavier's School For Gifted Children'

and if you got any other questions use the phone over there."



Lita blinked as she watched the boy leave. If he wasn't a normal human and

he wasn't a mutant, what did that leave?



--------



"I'm pretty sure they're real," repeated Haruka, hefting one globe. "Michie,

what do you think?"



"Yes, that does look to be the case," opined Michiru. "Though I think if you

would stop before she runs shrieking through the wall..."



Haruka was about to say something else when a fist slammed into her chin.



"This ain't the green grocer, and those ain't melons, and you ain't makin'

no purchase!" Akane yanked her shirt closed, glaring at the target of her

unhappiness.



There was a moment of staring at where Haruka was lying out cold on the

floor.



"Now THAT she had coming," offered Makoto to many nods and sounds of

agreement.



Ami leaned close, staring into chestnut brown eyes.



"Uhm, Ami-chan?!"



Ami seemed to find something that she was looking for. "We will discuss this

later, husband."



Akane flinched "...oh dear..."



"Uhm, how did you, I mean," Minako was eyeing the girl uncertainly.



"i was summoned here by the Pheonix Mage, a designated prince of the Moon

Kingdom." Akane gestured at herself. "Why this happened, we don't have a

clue."



Jared, off in the distance (still carrying Nabiki), suddenly felt a chill.

Twice in one night. How odd. Maybe he ought to have Grey cast a Cure Disease

just to be sure.



Makoto watched the byplay and remembered another scene.



-------



A month had passed and Lita had her answer at last.



Lita stared at where a crew of evil mutants had decided to screw the

skulking and just go for an all out assault on the School. And had met some

heavy resistance.



Kes was Kestral. An Empowered. No longer quite human by all accounts in the

media. Someone who had been specifically named as an example of "too

dangerous to be allowed to remain free" by a popular Senator.



Kestral, whom she'd blown off as a normal human (who therefore couldn't

understand what she was going through), had proven capable of going

toe-to-toe with the Juggernaut for almost ten minutes! (They were going to

have to rebuild that section of campus almost completely now.)



Her *own* power, that she'd thought so impressive and had experienced such

angst over because it distanced her from normal humanity (she could lift

over two tons) was... maybe not as impressive around here as she'd thought.



Ororo threw lightning bolts. Piotr turned into a metal man whose strength

dwarfed her own. And some of those they faced were extremely powerful.



Then the one named Magneto faced Kestral, put up a magnetic bottle, and

because Kestral was largely an energy being, was having the life sucked out

of him.



Lita wondered exactly what she could do. She was kind of outclassed here.

>From assuming she was the Toughest Girl On Campus, she'd gone to Seriously

Underpowered for these games.



-------



"AMI!" Makoto scolded, breaking her silence. She knew now how that other

self had frozen in indecision, but still ended up as Kes' girlfriend mainly

through the actions of her new friends. Well, she was a fiancee herself. And

she'd listened in her own lifetime to Ami discussing times that Ami and Grey

had been together.



 Ami broke off her berating of Grey for getting himself stuck in this sort

of thing.



"It wasn't his fault," said Makoto, moving immediately to the Understanding

and Supportive Fiancee role. After all, from what she'd seen Grey=Kes

Makoto=Lita. That meant in this other world she'd glimpsed, they had been

married!



Makoto colored slightly in rememberance. Well, didn't *this* complicate

things!



--------



Meanwhile, back at the Tendo dojo:



"Hold still, Ranma-honey."



"That stings you know."



"Shampoo no can reach these scratches. Airen please to use medicine?"



"Let *me* handle that instead, sugar."



"Hmmmph! Shampoo know many recipe for cat..."



"Hey now, Nabiki didn't know what she was doin', okay? She just got weirded

out 'cause of something stupid oyaji did. Normally, you give her catnip and

she either chases her tail or gets all mellow. This was weird."



"No argument from me, Ranma-honey."



"Shampoo also think weird. But think maybe Spatula Girl and Catgirl make

cute couple."



"HEY! What's THAT supposed to mean!"



"Shampoo think that's why Spatula Girl still dress like boy. Is she

already..."



"Take that back!"



"Uhm, guys. Could ya stop fighting like that in here? It's uhm, it's uhm,

unseemly."



"gwoak wakku wak wuuuu!"



"Shampoo, can you stop pulling Ucchan's cheeks like that?"



"gnnnnggg!"



"Uchann, let go of Shampoo's tongue!"



"Graaa!"



"Oh, now *that* looks uncomfortable. C'mon guys, you're ripping off your

bandages, and that healing cream stuff is getting smeared everywhere. Can't

you just..."



*SPLASH!*



"Uhm, SASAMI?"



"Yes Ranma?"



"I'd pull them out of the hot spring but I have a feeling I'd be the one to

end up at the bottom."



"Very likely."



"Hmmmm. Think you're gonna have to change the water."



"I'd say so."



"DIE, YOU BRAZEN HUS" (glub!)



"SHAMPOO GET RID OF STUPID " (glub!)



(gasp!) "Stop pulling my hair you bimbo" (burble!)



(gasp!) "Xi Fang Ga" (glurple!)



"Oh yeah! Here's some of your own medicine back at ya!"



"What a mess."



"Might I suggest a hot cup of cocoa, Ranma? Let them work this out on their

own."



"Think you're right SASAMI."



(glurp!) (gurble!) (scrub-scrub-scrub) (scrub-scrub-scrub)



-------



Third Labor Timeline: 818 AD



Ranma griped and moaned and all but cursed.



He was viewed on by sympathy by most, tolerance by everyone else. After all,

everyone knew how close the two lovers had been.



"How could she *do* that?!" Ranma, son of Jerem, grumbled again.



"It was her decision," pointed out old Father Keian. "She'd always wanted to

be a part of the Exploration Team. When she was removed due to her

allergies..."



Ranma spent some time muttering phrases dealing with stubborness, and a lack

of both foresight and consideration for others. Then Ranma went still. There

were a few nudges and knowing looks among the crowd, just *knowing* what was

to come.



"It's too dangerous to go by yourself. I have to go to where you found her

boat," Ranma said, craning his head up to look into Ami's eyes. "Give me an

hour to collect supplies. "I'm going to have to catch up with her." This was

followed again by muttering about stubborness and the uncompleted sentence

about what he'd do when he caught up with her.



Actually, what exactly would happen when Ranma caught up with Ukyo would be

a major topic of speculation and private wagering for months to come.



-------



Ranma/Akumakun timeline:



SASAMI monitored with her usual efficiency.



 Ranma finished his cup of hot chocolate and wandered off to bed.



 SASAMI noted that the two warriors' battle had turned sluggish and that

their responses indicated either intoxication or else they'd literally

beaten each other senseless. Using simple light projections, SASAMI was able

to lead the two to Ranma's room. She wasn't completely clear on the tangled

relationships but felt that having the patients all together was most

efficient.



 Nabiki arrived, dragging herself home. For whatever odd reason, she passed

her own room by, sniffing repeatedly, then entering Ranma's room and curling

up at the foot of the bed.



 SASAMI debated getting a cat basket for Nabiki.



 Akane arrived home after another long night of training from her Master,

Happosai. She promptly collapsed on her own bed.



 Kasumi started her day in an atypical fashion, with a phone call. SASAMI

noted the anomaly and began making breakfast.



 It wasn't until Ranma awoke that things really began going oddly.



-------



 Ranma considered shrieking and clinging to the ceiling. He had a number of

good reasons to do so. Against such a thing, this was all so bizarre that he

wasn't sure it couldn't be a dream sequence.



 Nabiki was curled up at the foot of his bed. NOT the usual state of

affairs, by a long shot. He was also pretty sure she usually slept in

pajamas, not a pair of pink panties. She had come down in her PJs a few

times for breakfast, and Ranma had noticed all the little kitties on her

PJs.



 Shampoo and Ukyo were asleep, and not wearing a whole lot either. Unlike

Nabiki, they were covered by a blanket but what wasn't covered by the

blanket was showing bare skin. Also very NOT the usual state of affairs.



Ranma considered again the merits of shrieking and clinging to the ceiling

like Spiderman. If he did so, he had a feeling that three girls would

destroy his room in seconds and this was the first time in his life he had a

comfortable bed. It getting shredded would not be a great loss, but it would

consititute a loss. Hmmm.



Before meeting up with his brother, Ranma just reacted to things. It was the

way Genma had taught him.



Ranma had been informed repeatedly, and he'd had to agree, that Genma

Saotome was not exactly the most sterling example to follow. Did he want to

end up like his Father or like that old lech?



Not only no, but Hell No.



So Ranma did something unusual. He treated this like a fight. What would

happen, how to counter it, and how to overcome the adversary known as His

Life. Ranma considered What Could Go Wrong, and started working out

counterattacks.



Nabiki stretched and yawned. The motion went up the bed, jostling three

people. Two of whom began to stir themselves.



Ranma considered for a third time the option of leaping to the ceiling and

clinging to it.



"Rrrrrraaa?!"



"Mrrrrowww?!"



Ranma blinked as Ukyo licked his cheek and Shampoo nuzzled him. He found an

option that he hadn't considered before, one that actually had a chance of

him not being pummelled. He fainted.



-------



Akane (Grey) had learned many martial arts styles over the course of several

lifetimes. In Grey's first life, he'd been pretty good in kempo and western

fencing (sabre style particularly, reflexes for kempo pretty much foiling

his attempts with the foil.)



After some time with valkyries, a few more weapons skills had developed.

Then the schools of Whatever Works Engineering, a few Amazon manuevers, a

few years of Northern Shaolin Kung Fu, Taiko Drum Stick Fighting, and a

certain amount of Anything Goes.



One of his previous selves/Alternates (Nebula, aka Basalt) had been trained

extensively as a professional soldier and bodyguard particularly in rod,

chain, fencing foil, sabre, and thrown weapons. Kestral had been in enough

fights that a natural brawling style had developed, though in later years

he'd had to go up against the likes of Juggernaut or the Hulk for a decent

workout.



Plus the current style, Martial Arts Ranching.



All in all he (when he was he, as opposed to currently where he was a she)

preferred *weapons* based styles and fighting with weapons. Guns such as

revolvers lacked grace and class, whereas a Wilk's laser pistol had both.

Lightsabers were, quite frankly, cool. A Jabberworks "Demonbuster" particle

beam rifle (1d6x10+10 MD, 1200ft range, 10 shots/e-clip, 15#) was a

wonderfully comforting weight in one's hands. (One of those cases where one

could walk through the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death knowing full well that

you'd at least be able to do some serious damage before one passed on.) Or,

better yet, an A-Wing or similar craft.



Which made Akane (Grey) hang her head and groan, as Black Bart's morning

attack had caused all those various reflexes to conflict with each other.

Resulting in her standing there twitching while a cloud of knockout gas had

rolled over her.



Resulting in the current situation, where Akane had found herself (some

would say inevitably) tied to a railroad track while Black Bart chuckled

evilly in the background.



There were worse aspects of this whole thing. Currently she was wearing a

wedding dress. As she'd started out wearing her Shinto priestess robes, this

was concerning for more than one reason.



Turning her head around, Akane saw where Black Bart and his crowd stood

getting some last minute instructions from their boss.



Grey had tried to become something other than Akane, several times since

entering this timeline. Dragon, cyborg, ANYTHING other than the twin of a

sixteen year old overreactive violent tomboy. Though Angel form might be

do-able, it would not be able to escape and would exhaust her again.



Failure again.



Normal Akane-level strength. Figure a 15 or 20 on a Champions scale. If able

to get leverage and "push" the statistic, via rage, Akane could easily bend

the rail and get free.



Grey could neither get leverage nor summon sufficient anger. Black Bart was

merely acting in the manner his own honor led him to as the Heir of Martial

Arts Stage Villainry. His men (including Dakota) were all a group of

misfits, but none of them were really BAD compared to some of the people

he'd met over his various lives.



His various other Incarnations could agree on THAT at least. Phoenix gang

members who'd kill in cold blood just to while away an afternoon could be

remembered by the core Grey. Frostbite could remember meeting dragons who

were just as evil. Kestral could remember maniacs like Doctor Gabe and

thoroughly amoral beings like Sabretooth.



"Bart! What are you doing? What do you think Kasumi will think of this!"



"Oh dear! Akane, you're awake!"



Akane stared at KASUMI stepping away from the crowd to look down at her

little sister. "K-Kasumi?!"



"I'm sorry Akane, but you'll feel so much better if you're married to a nice

boy, and if you have some children I won't have to worry about you killing

yourself." Kasumi looked sadly at the girl tied to the railroad track.

"That's why I convinced Mr Bart to capture you."



"...oh crap..." Akane realized that moving out of the house had *not* been

sufficient. Clerical spells would require hands to be free, nothing

memorized that would rust metal or cut chains. Transformative abilities-

inoperative. Kestral's abilities depended on being a weird sort of

energy-fortified being, therefore also not possible. "Kasumi this really

isn't a good idea. I'm not really Akane, you know."



"I'm sorry Akane, but you'll realize this is for your own good eventually.

You'll overcome all these delusions and find there's so much yet to live

for." Kasumi smiled at her sister. Love could cure all ills after all.



And Akane certainly looked ill right now.



=========



Well, things have started moving towards a resolution. No, seriously.



Would i kid you about something like that?







-----------

   Having seen enough to know that this wasn't

a slapstick but a heroic moment, Ukyo played it to

the hilt. After all, when had she had a chance to

do something like this in HER life? "Enter the high

school warrior-chef (sentai-pose - chain to spinning

the spatula around and another pose with it behind

her in a more samurai pose) whose spatula strikes

injustice. Ukyo Kuonji, age 16!" (gleam of teeth)

 -Reluctant Bet



metroanime@mindspring.com

http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/







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