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Disclaimer: Hmmm. Rumiko Takahashi and Viz and a whole bunch
more have dibs on Ranma et al, Fujishima Kousuke and Animeigo
takes credit for associating Urd of Norse mythology with kawaii
features and a computer engineering degree, Cinderella is an old
fairy tale, which leaves me with Hainoko and Kidori, who are my
own. Basho belongs to himself. Not to worry, since I don't
figure on making any money off this, anyway. No gerbils were
harmed in the writing of this fanfic, although they might have
been traumatized by seeing Cinderella's outfit.
James and the Bluejay
jeeades@wanderway.com
What has gone before, or CATCH UP DUTIES: Urd, the norn of the
past/goddess of love (take your pick), has called upon a temp
service to free her to pursue a virus she suspects has been
introduced into the heavenly computer by the demoness Marlar.
The agent she called has in turn asked for a substitution, which
turned Ryoga into a roving temporary wish-bringer. One of the
wishes Ryoga has granted makes Hiroshi turn into 'Cinderella', a
rock star who is, unfortunately for Hiroshi, blatantly female.
Hiroshi has been trying to deal with this new identity and has
made a few mistakes.
ASHES - A Cinderella Story
Chapter Four
Reassurances - Not
Weave around and you may find
Fate is cruel and love is blind
Let us sweep and let us soar
Here we go with Chapter Four.
TEMPLE OF THE GOOD DEED:
"Basho." A voice.
In the great void, existence sundered and became two: dark and
light, black and white, good and evil, substance and naught. The
extremities twained yet again, and again, until there were
objects, color, sound, and sensation. Ages fled as life formed
in pools and pushed their way onto land, evolving in microseconds
into multicellular creatures that plunged through the ocean,
roamed the earth, and climbed the trees. One such multi-celled
creature blinked and became a gray monk within a single stone
cell.
"Basho.o.o.o...."
[Not again.]
"Basho!"
[I am so close. I can feel the ultimate truth lying in my grasp,
like...like...like holding Jell-O in my hands while wading in the
ocean. If I answer, Sensei will distract me from my goal. If I
do not answer, Sensei will distract me from my goal. Decisions,
decisions.]
"Basho! Wake up, you lazy snot!"
[Wait a minute. That does not sound like Sensei. Would Sensei
call me a lazy snot? Yep.]
-whap!-
[Would Sensei slap me about and cause me pain? Yep.]
"Oh, Basho, Sweetie! Please wake up!"
[That is _not_ Sensei.] "Who are you?"
"Good. You are awake. It's about time!"
"I repeat my question. Who are you?" Basho opened his eyes and
immediately closed them again. [I don't need this. Another
woman. Why must I face these temptations when my goal is so
near?]
"My name is Marlar, fat lot of good it will do you. Why aren't
you out granting wishes?"
Basho opened one eye a crack. Enough to see that the woman was
attractive in a devilish sort of way. Demoness. Good. Made it
easier to ignore her.
-whap!-
Or maybe not....
"What do you want?" he complained, "I am busy!"
"I can see that! But you can't grant wishes in this cell!"
"I had no such intention. I have called for a substitute to
handle those duties."
"Someone else has the power?"
"Of course!" snorted Basho, "A lovely person. As sweet and
gentle as a summer breeze. Very qualified." He managed to
restrain a self-satisfied chuckle.
"Drat! She brought in a real fairy god-mother! No wonder I
could not find her!"
"And now, if you do not mind, I have thirty-nine modulations to
go. After that I will be happy to talk to you."
"Never mind, fat boy. You have answered my question. A
substitute, huh? How did she get that clever?"
HIROSHI:
It happened so suddenly I dropped my slice of octopus okonomyaki.
I had been planning on heading for the exit in less than a
minute, since my time was about to run out, when suddenly I found
I could not leave. Across the room of the shop, a cluster of
people stopped talking and turned toward Kidori and me. I
heard Kodachi as she shouted, "That is the villainess! I would
recognize that drab hairdo anywhere!" Five people stood up
and started toward us.
A freaky thing happened to me. Everything slowed down, and my
mind went into overdrive. To my heightened senses, each of the
five was bathed in a blazing color. Akane's flames were pale
blue. Somehow the yellow-white fires surrounding both Ranma and
Ukyo seemed less threatening, so I concentrated my attention on
Kodachi and Shampoo, who were both glowing a dangerous red.
They attacked simultaneously. Shampoo charged directly at Kidori
while Kodachi sprang to the side and loosed a barrage of gymnast
clubs, followed by a snaking streamer of razor ribbon, all of
which Kidori was not attempting to dodge. The sinuous coils of
the razor ribbon flowed toward her like a monstrous snake,
snipping through hanging lamps, banners, and a hapless potted
plant.
I stood from my chair, fascinated by the violence about to occur.
As the half dozen gymnast clubs tumbled toward us, something
clicked inside of me. There was no uncertainty, no doubt in my
mind. I was moving before I knew, yanking one of the tiny tables
into the path of the clubs and deflecting them, clattering, into
the floor, then spinning a couple of steel-legged chairs into the
air to tangle the ribbon.
I am not sure how I did what I did to Shampoo - I stepped between
her and Kidori, and when she tried to get past me, I shoved her.
She flew backward against the wall and slid down to the floor,
blinking until her eyes uncrossed.
Kodachi sent more clubs, this time directed at me, and I swatted
them away reflexively. She finally got the message - that I
could handle anything she threw - stared at me in surprise, and
backed off.
All five of them backed off, as shocked as if a serpent had
appeared in their midst.
"What manner of insolent creature are you, protecting this
wretched villain?" Kodachi demanded.
"Cinderella!" cried Akane, "You are going to get hurt!"
There was a look in Ranma's eye that I never thought I would have
directed at me - he was trying to evaluate my weaknesses and my
strengths. As a martial artist. He was not attacking, but if he
did he would be very dangerous. Dangerous? He could kill me! I
did not have the faintest idea what I was doing, or how I did it!
All the while, the little voice in my head was murmuring
something about Kidori. Why were they trying to hurt her? What
had she done to them? And at the same time, I _knew_ what they
were accusing her of doing. They thought she was beating them
up. But to do that, she would have to be a better martial artist
than they were.
The little voice said, [She is cute, and I look better. She
sings wonderfully, and I sing better. She dances divinely and I
dance better. I just waxed Shampoo and bested Kodachi. How good
a martial artist _is_ Kidori? And could she have actually
attacked them?]
I wanted to believe that she was innocent. One look at her,
cringing away from the hostile glares of her accusers, and I
wanted very much to hear her say that they were wrong.
"Tell them!" I cried to her. "Tell them you didn't do it!"
She would not say anything, just hung her head and tried to
withdraw behind me.
Another problem was nagging me. My two hours were up. In a few
seconds I was going to revert to plain old Hiroshi and two things
were going to happen: My shameful secret was going to be exposed
and Kodachi and Shampoo were going to make sliced salami out of
me. Then they would turn on Kidori.
"Hold it right there!" I cried, "Ah! I...I have to...I'm going
to...."
I did not know what I was going to do. So I did what always
worked before. I ran. I ran, lean lithe legs pumping, not for
the exit door, but for the back of the building, where the
Ucchan's restroom was located. There was another kid holding out
a paper for an autograph, a little kid who seemed familiar, but I
was in a panic - autographs could wait. I bolted into the tiny
restroom and yanked off the shirt and pants before my other
clothes rematerialized over them. I barely made it.
HAINOKO:
Cinderella brushed past, in a terrible hurry to get to the
restroom, so Hainoko decided that it was not a good time to give
her the letters from the charities. Celebrities were terribly
busy people, and when they went to the restroom they didn't want
to be pestered. And everyone shoves little kids aside when they
get in the way. Hainoko sorrowfully zipped the messages back
into her bookbag and prepared to leave Uchan's.
A sound called her back, a voice from within the restroom. "I
want to be a rock star! I want to be a rock star! Why isn't it
working? How long must I wait? I can't wait!"
Hainoko returned to the door and listened, saying to herself,
"Hiroshi?"
The door flew open and Hiroshi rushed past her, going back into
the dining room. Examining the vacated room, Hainoko found it
empty except for a shirt and a pair of school trousers. She
identified them as Hiroshi's, picked them up and started again to
go home, her steps slow and thoughtful.
HIROSHI:
Kidori remained at the table, still seated and, as far as I could
tell, terrified by the martial artists menacing her.
They were surrounding her by the time I got back; Ranma was
looking nervous, as though things were not going according to
plan and he was not sure about how to handle it; Ukyo was holding
back, also uncertain; Akane was glancing about as if looking for
someone; Kodachi and Shampoo had reorganized and were closing in
for the kill, while all the time Kidori sat there with a woeful
expression and tears in her eyes.
Okay, so I did something stupid. I pushed in front of Kidori,
using my body as a shield, all the time yelling at them to stop.
Baka. Bakbakabakabakabaka.
After a few moments where I had not been reduced to a bloody
pulp, I opened my eyes. Shampoo glared at me, inches away;
Kodachi stood back, still dangerous, evaluating me as if I were a
side of beef about to be quartered and she was contemplating
where to make the first cut.
"Stop! Please!" I cried. "You don't know what you're doing!"
Relief flooded over me. No one was jibing me for being
Cinderella, and so far I still had all my body parts.
"Hold it, fellas," Ranma said, to Shampoo and Kodachi. "This
ain't no place for vendettas. No matter how much she deserves
it."
"Shampoo show you vendetta! Shampoo give Amazon kiss of Death to
masked monster girl!" Shampoo reached for Kidori. I tried to
stop her advance, but this time she was too strong.
"Do not defend this creature!" Kodachi commanded, "She is the
essence of evil! She strikes unmercifully, with tremendous force
and precision!"
"Wait!" I cried, having finally remembered the discrepancy which
had been bugging me, "If she is so strong and hits so hard, why
would she stoop to throwing darts? She wouldn't need that kind
of weapon!"
"Darts?" Ranma remained angry, but at least he stopped to think.
"I don't remember any darts!"
"It was last night. You probably dodged them automatically and
forgot it when you saw...er...something to distract you." Credit
me with some sense. If I had said 'cat', Ranma would have
reacted badly. I needed him rational, at the moment. I
continued, "I was outside that alley when you went after
Shampoo's attacker. I heard either darts or ninja throwing stars
or something go flying past. Something riddled that trashcan
lid. Shampoo was there! She saw them!"
"The harridan had an accomplice?" suggested Kodachi.
"Look at her!" I cried, pointing to the cowering Kidori, "She's
frightened! Does that look like some kind of monster?"
"Maybe need mask to make brave," said Shampoo, but she, too, was
having doubts. Her lips, centimeters away from planting the Kiss
of Death on Kidori's face, were beginning to droop in a
disappointed pout.
"Okay, Hiroshi," Ukyo said. "You made your point. I didn't want
to believe it, anyway."
I could not describe the look Kidori gave me - it was wide-eyed
fear, disgust, horror at being attacked, I didn't know. When I
tried to get a closer look at her face, she turned away from me.
Maybe she had fathomed my secret and she was ashamed to be seen
with me. Surely she had noticed that the clothes I was wearing
were almost identical to the 'disguise' Cinderella wore.
What mattered was that the others had lost their battle glow.
They weren't ready to hack and thrash Kidori into a bloody heap,
and I was not going to lose her.
Ranma's arm landed on my shoulders. "Old buddy," he said, "I
know ya like the gal and all, but that was either very brave or
very stupid."
"Brave," I suggested, as I tried to sit down. My hands were
shaking so badly I knocked the chair over.
"Yeah." Like he believed me. "Still, thanks to you and that gal,
those two had a chance to cool down before they hurt somebody.
Where'd she go, anyway?" You would think, after all the strange
happenings that went on around him, Ranma would have learned to
be more observant. Or at least quit acting like he did not care.
"I saw her head out the back way," Ukyo said. She patted Kidori
on the back and said, "Sorry, Sugar. I guess we jumped the gun.
I'm tired and cranky with my hired help missing."
"Oh!" cried Kidori, rousing from her fearful apathy, "Let me
help! I am good at cleaning!"
"Yeah, so was Konatsu, before he left," Ukyo muttered.
They straightened the tables and cleaned up. I knew it was time
for me to leave when Kidori moved me aside like a piece of
furniture in order to stack chairs. She wouldn't even look up at
my face. I was Hiroshi, not Cinderella. I was nobody.
HAINOKO:
Mommy was taking a nap when Hainoko got home. After putting away
her school books and papers, Hainoko fingered the messages for
Cinderella. Maybe she could try again, tomorrow. Maybe
Cinderella would come back for a visit with....
Memories made her face contort in thought, of the room with one
door, where one person went in and another person came out, and
she thought, [No. This is one of those imaginary things that
teachers try to get you to forget. This is one of those
daydreams, where something wonderful happens and you get to meet
interesting people who know you and like you, but it isn't really
true.]
She sighed. Somehow, there was an explanation. Dumb, dull, big
brother Hiroshi? Just how well did he know Cinderella? Were
they really such good friends that they could both hide in the
same room together? That had to be it. Yet, if he was such good
friends with Cinderella, who was this girl he was protecting at
Uchan's? She knew the reputations of the martial artists at
Furinken High, and she had never before seen Hiroshi risk their
anger.
She found her old hiding place, a dark corner of the hallway
where an ancestral cabinet was ensconced, there being no space
in the rest of the house to store it. It made a wonderful place
to sit and brood, away from Mommy's constant cleaning and with a
good view of the front room where the TV stood. She could watch
shows she was not supposed to watch, and had fallen asleep there
several times.
She was there an hour later when Hiroshi returned, slumped with
resignation. [That girl must have turned him down. The other
girls at his school are always turning him down. They know a
loser when they see one.]
In addition to having an eye to the living room, Hainoko's spot
had an ear to Hiroshi's room. She had never used it before.
Well, maybe once or twice to be certain he was out before she
went into his room for raids. But she had never used it to spy
on him. Not intentionally. This time she held her ear to the
thin wall and heard Hiroshi's muttering.
"Why doesn't it work? Any other time, it would have 'poofed' me
when I didn't want to do it. Now, when I _want_ to, it does not
work!" He chanted a phrase, almost like a mantra, "I want to be
a rock star. I want to be a rock star!"
Hainoko lost a few words when he went into the hallway, then his
voice got louder and she realized that he was standing beside her
hiding place. Holding her breath to keep from revealing herself,
she leaned forward to watch and listen.
"It has been two hours since Ucchan's! How long do I have to
wait? I want to be a rock star! I wannabearockstar! I
wannabe...."
Hainoko clapped her hands over her mouth to cover her gasp. She
was watching through the crack in the cabinet door, so there
could be no doubt as to what she saw. There could be no doubt as
to what she heard, for Hiroshi's voice suddenly climbed the scale
into a soft soprano, even as he shrank into a more shapely size.
His black and white school uniform became a brilliant blue
minidress.
"Yes!" cried Cinderella, and she hurried out the door, leaving it
standing open. If she had looked back, she would have seen a
younger sister standing in the hallway, eyes wide open and jaw
gaping.
HAINOKO:
There was a bird's nest in the tree outside the back window of
the apartment, near Hainoko's room. In the nest were two blue
mottled eggs, almost maroon in the late evening sun. Hainoko
finally realized that she had been staring at them for many
minutes, her jaw slack, while she tried to make the pieces of her
world fit back together again in some orderly fashion.
Hiroshi, her older, arrogant, self-centered brother, protecting
some girl dressed in boy's clothes? He was really worried about
her, and she acted as if she did not know who he was. But...
Hiroshi? Brave? But that was not the central point of her
agitation.
"Hiroshi..." she said softly. "...Cinderella?"
Already, the memory of her ornery brother vanishing and
Cinderella appearing was at war with her concept of reality, and
she was wondering if it could have been something she simply
wanted to happen.
She roused when she heard her mother call.
"Mommy?" she answered. The weakness in her mother's voice
frightened her. "Mommy!"
TEMPLE OF THE GOOD DEED:
"Basho."
[Again?]
"Basho!"
[Maybe if I say nothing she will go away.]
"BASHO!"
-whimper-
"Oh, good. You are awake."
Basho grumped to himself. [Another woman. Do I deserve this?
Twenty-four modulations to go....]
Awareness dawned and Basho ossified in great fear. [Oh, no. The
silver-haired goddess. She has come to punish me for evading my
duty. I am in _deep_ trouble.]
"No, you are not in trouble...yet," the silver-haired goddess
cooed at him. "I can be very forgiving. I have another job for
you. And there will be no substitutions, this time."
[I am being ordered about, like a common drudge. That is bad.
By a beautiful goddess. That is normally good, but at the
moment, it is very bad. I must maintain the gestalt presence
which I have developed through months of intense discipline. I
stand in the ebb of the ocean, holding a handful of Jell-O as the
tide surges about me, holding the truth inconsistent while it
neither attempts to remain or flee, it simply IS, and the water
of which it is constructed flows unrestrained through my mind,
held only by my concentration from disintegrating. I must
maintain that focus. I will not look upon the beautiful woman
who is ordering me around like a common drudge. I will not
look....]
Basho looked.
[...ah, well. Even common drudges are entitled to a few
pleasures, I suppose.]
"I have a task for you. It will not be easy - it will be like
finding a needle in a haystack." The goddess's smile was fixed,
much like the predatory gleam of a wolf about to attack. It was
not a kind smile.
Basho released his hold upon his focus and sighed with
disappointment as the image blurred into mundane reality.
"Looking for a needle in a heap of straw is simple," he said.
"You do not find the needle. It finds you."
HIROSHI:
Kidori was not at Ucchan's. Ukyo said that she had gone
somewhere on an engagement, so I was left with an hour or so to
kill before my spell wore off. I spent most of it listening to
Ukyo.
The band members of the Primrose Path had found Ucchan's, and had
landed in force. Despite their previous bento meal they were
ravenous, and had consumed enough okonomyaki to make Ukyo richer
and tireder. She poured me a tea, pulled up a chair, and
proceeded to bend my ear about the gossip she had heard.
Once upon a time, as a group, the Primrose Path had been doing
poorly. This was due to their former lackadaisical manager and
the engagements he kept getting for them at ratty, run-down
establishments.
Then Kidori's mother had taken over their management and had
brought them, along with Kidori, into the limelight. She was a
maverick manager, shunning most agencies, and she was ruthless
when it came to scheduling her group.
Oddly, whenever Primrose was booked to open for a particularly
good group, the other band would encounter some kind of trouble
and not be able to show up, which gave Primrose more exposure and
led to more fame.
Kidori refused to talk about her mother, and the band members got
a haunted look in their eyes whenever they discussed her. She
seemed to choose to remain out of sight, ruling the public
appearances but not interfering with their normal lives.
"You're Kidori's friend, aren't you?" Ukyo asked.
"Well, yes. Sorta. I hope."
"You need to talk to her. That poor kid. She needs all the
friends she can get."
"But why? She's a famous rock star! How could I help?"
"You're no small potatoes, yourself, Sugar. Although, I'll admit
I haven't heard much of you, before. How do you get away with
it?"
"Err...get away with what?"
"Being so humble and modest and shy. You should have groupies
and bodyguards and fans howling around you all the time. Yet,
here you are, chatting around my shop like an old chum."
"Oops! Speaking of the time, I gotta go!"
She laughed, "What's the matter, Sport? Are you goin' to turn
into a pumpkin, or something?"
"You would not believe," I assured her. [But then, on the other
hand...she might....]
BASHO:
[It is simple. Take the least likely of all probabilities,
decide where is the most unlikely place for an event to take
place, and then take a random walk. Not entirely reliable, which
makes it so effective.]
Basho seated himself on the curb and inhaled, tasting the odors
drifting from the food carts across the street. He set a bag
full of their products beside him and made himself comfortable.
This might take a long time.
[Now, to consider. I am wading in the ocean, holding the
gelatinous food substance in my hands, feeling the currents
moving the Ultimate Truth into being.] On another level, Basho
recalled that Sensei had mentioned a scroll which contained the
one true revelation of the Temple of the Good Deed. Perhaps
Sensei would let him take a look at it? If he approached Sensei
respectfully, and asked politely, he might. And then again, he
might not. Sensei was a volatile, changeable person.
[Truth has a texture. Truth has a moment of being, an eternity
which lasts only a split-second, yet which rings with a vibration
all its own. I can feel the nuances of that vibration. It burrs
at my fingertips as I move them through the mold of the gel, it
sings in my ears as I draw ever nearer, and nearer, and I can
almost feel it! It is...it is....]
"Baka! Why can't you stay away from me? You have caused me
nothing but trouble! Because of you I have known more
humiliation than I have ever had to endure!"
Basho stifled a sob of grief. [I have failed. And I have
succeeded. Which is more important? Does it matter?]
Hiroshi had his back to Ryoga, arms folded, jaw clenched. "What
about me?" he demanded, "I have been embarrassed, chased,
fondled, and ogled. I have endured hardship, too, you know!
Besides, you are the one who is always running off!"
"Well, you would run, too, if you were being chased by some kind
of spook! Every time I say the wrong thing, or someone makes a
wish around me, I feel this 'thing' appear!"
"Ahem," Basho said, from their side.
Ryoga ignored the monk to continue, "All I want is to stop
somewhere and rest. Yet if I only _say_ the word, 'wish',
something happens!"
As if to prove his point, the limbs of the tree he was under
began to move. They enfolded him while roots pulled themselves
loose from the ground to wrap about his ankles. Hiroshi froze at
the sight.
Before Ryoga could rip the enfolding limbs from him, Basho
stepped up from the curb, withdrew a slip of paper from his
satchel, scratched a rune onto it with an aged bamboo pen, and
slapped the paper onto the tree trunk. Instantly the branches
released Ryoga and collapsed back into their former positions.
"What was that?" demanded Hiroshi, "That tree moved!"
"Tree spirit, under the command of a demoness," explained Basho.
"Simple to take care of, if you know what you are doing."
Ryoga nodded, eyes narrowed as he said, "That was crazy! I don't
know how it happened, but I think you had something to do with
it!"
The monk shook his head. "Many times you have irritated me. I
would say that you are a burden upon my soul and a trial to my
spirit, but I am forced to admit a responsibility. Therefore I
will try to help you as much as I can, but you must learn to keep
your mouth shut about your task. You know who commands this."
"You are the one provoking me!" Ryoga responded, then added
reluctantly. "But, since you helped me, thank you." He was
brushing at his arms and legs, as if he could still feel the
branches and roots imprisoning him.
"Who are you?" Hiroshi asked of Basho.
"A humble student, like you, striving to find truth in a world
that is much, much too busy."
"He knows about the...." Ryoga said.
"He knows about the...?"
"Yes."
"He knows you can...?"
"Yes."
"And about her?"
"No, not that."
"How much does he know?"
"That I can...even though I don't want to...and he has a...still
going on right now."
"What?" Hiroshi stood between them, head snapping back and forth,
following their conversation.
"Then he can...."
"No."
"Does he...."
"Yes."
"What are you guys talking about?" Hiroshi demanded.
"You'll have to read the manual," said Ryoga, and he departed for
Tokyo via Hokkaido.
Hiroshi was hot on his heels, determined to have some answers.
BASHO:
Basho was digging into the bag for another sweet bun when a dark
cloud -whoomped- into existence in the street before him. Marlar
stepped from the concealment of the dissipating vapors and faced
him.
"Where is she?" demanded the demoness, "Where is that sweet,
sickeningly nice do-gooder of a fairy god-mother?"
There was a sesame seed cemented to his cheek in a honeyed paste.
Basho caught it with a fingertip and delivered it into his mouth
before he stood and spoke.
"I cannot allow you to harass my charge," he said.
"Me? Harass? Oh, you haven't _seen_ harassment, yet!"
Basho flipped the remainder of his bun into the bag and deposited
it at his feet. "Then, I must stop you before something bad
happens," he said, scribing the correct glyphs into the air. "I
call upon the forces of goodness and light! You must turn into a
good person!"
"Arrgh!" screeched Marlar as her hair changed from blond curls to
stiff gray and her face withered into a gruesome old hag. "I am
a demoness, you idiot!" she screeched, "I am allergic to good!"
"Oops," Basho mumbled contritely. "Heh. Sorry about that!" He
edged away from the furious hag who began to glow a dull angry
red.
"Let me encourage you to re-appraise your abilities," rasped the
hag's voice. "You are not ready to take on a demoness second
class!" She gestured and Basho found himself snared in a vat of
rancid honey. "Eat your way out of that!"
Mired in the sticky goo, Basho mourned, "I am never going to be a
do-gooder until I finish the modulations and achieve the right to
read the Temple's most treasured scroll!"
"Little prints of niceness all over the place! She left a trail
a blind imp could follow," said the hag. "I will catch her and
make her my slave! I can use a few wishes, myself!"
"I will stop you!" cried Basho, but his pursuit was a sticky
crawl.
HIROSHI:
I never meant to find out Ryoga's secret. It just happened. One
minute I was following him through the park, absolutely no one
around except for me and him. Then the sprinklers came on, and
there was only me. Oh. Me and this little black pig, who
happened to have a yellow bandana and a charm bracelet around
it's neck. That is how I found out.
"Wow," I said. "Bummer. Double plus ungood, old chum."
"Buee?"
"Yeah. I suppose you got it the same place that Ranma got his?"
"Buee."
"Man, that's terrible. I mean, you are one ugly pig. Why
couldn't you change into a beautiful babe like Ranma?"
"Buee!" Ryoga-pig was trying to get to his charm bracelet.
which was not easy since it was around his neck.
"Let me see that," I said, removing it and holding it in front of
him. "Is this what you want?"
"Buee." He seemed to be reading something on a flat plate.
Looked like shiny metal to me. "Buee!!!"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Buee! Buee!!"
"Are you trying to tell me something? Squeal once for yes and
twice for no." I once saw this movie from America, about a dog
with long brown and white hair, and the dog had tried to tell his
master that someone was trapped in the mine and the only way he
could make his master understand was to bark.
"Buee!" Ryoga-pig also stomped his feet, to emphasize his point.
On top of my head. Ouch.
"Stop that!" I cried. "Look! If you are like Ranma, all we need
to do is find you some hot water. There should be some water up
ahead."
He seemed very impatient, frantically bueeing and tugging at my
hand to get me to hurry along with him. I could not understand
at all. He wanted to go toward more cold water, not the stores
which would have hot water. He was fast, elusive, and strong.
I could not keep up with him.
It was plain that I would never be able to communicate with him
until I could change him back, and he was determined to go away
from any place that had hot water. If only I was smart enough to
talk to him, to find out what was bothering him. A light came
on, a blinding flash of insight. I blinked and moved away from
the street lamp which had switched itself on early.
"I want to be a rock star," I said. Might as well get it over
with. Anyway, I had other powers while I was a 'rock star'.
I glanced down at my scant clothes and was glad that the park
was empty. I set out to catch Ryoga and find out why he was
so frantic.
The trees in the park were perfectly normal, so Ryoga could not
have been worried about them coming to life and grabbing him. He
darted for a fence, ignoring the standard entrance. I bounded
after him, almost snagging his bandana as he jumped the stone
wall. I was puzzled. He passed shops that would have had
kettles of hot water ready to pour.
"What are you running for?" I asked, crossly. Then he looked back
and redoubled his speed. Another light came on, but I dodged it.
He wasn't running _to_ something. He was running _from_
something. Another light. He was not running from me.
I looked behind me. A gruesome hag was hot on my heels.
The sight frightened me so much I forgot that I had magical
martial arts skills. All I could think to do was run, and run I
did. I passed Ryoga, calling back to him, "What are you waiting
for?"
We entered the marketplace, a maze of interwoven streets and
alleys with booths, stalls, okonomyaki stands on the side
surrounded by tiny tables and stools, flower vendors, grocery and
garden shops, meat vendors (which Ryoga avoided), and many, many,
avenues of escape. She would never get us there. I motioned to
Ryoga to head down the main courseway, then we cut right.
She was waiting for us. We 'yeeped' and headed back the other
way, pelting down the stone pathway into another alley.
Again, we were too late. At last I remembered my strengths. I
decided to confront her. She was only an old lady, but she
scared the stuffing out of me. I faced her directly and
demanded, "What do you want?"
She pointed at the charm bracelet I had taken from Ryoga and
cackled. "I want that, Dearie!"
"No way!" I shouted. I batted her hand away, and it was like
hitting a steel bar. She was very strong. I jabbed at her
hideous beak of a nose, and my blow was blocked. She was very
fast. My stomach turned. She was also very ugly.
"You'll give it to me!" she shrieked, "You'll give it to me,
or...."
"Or what?"
For answer, she turned her gaze to Ryoga. With eyes like steel
marbles as she said, "Why, I'll cook your pet pig, here!"
Ryoga-pig gulped and ran. It was an excellent demonstration of
the action one should take when faced with a powerful,
implacable, not to mention ugly foe. I did likewise.
Again, she was hot on our heels. No matter which alley we took,
no matter how we twisted and turned, she was right there behind
us. At last, we had to stop, trapped in a dead-end. We were
cornered, brick walls on three sides.
She occupied the entire width of the alleyway, her tattered cloak
spreading stiff and razor sharp so we could not get past her.
She was no more winded than if she had taken an evening stroll,
smiling evilly and clasping her clawed hands.
"Now I have you, my pretty!" cackled the old hag, "And your
little pig, too!"
TOO GLOAT:
"I wish this had never happened!" I called out, and the tableau
froze expectantly. Nothing happened, hard and fast, and it went
on happening. I gulped.
The witch lady glanced about and rasped a cackle, "You can't wish
for yourself, Dearie! That only works for the person you give
the wish to!"
"Drat!" I said. I was sure that Ryoga granted wishes. Where
could I have gone wrong?
"Now, give me the little trinket, and we'll call the whole thing
off. I won't have to reduce you to your component molecules, and
you won't have to spend years in some beaker in my laboratory."
She smacked her lips. "And, oh, yes. Maybe I'll turn your pet
loose...IN A RESTAURANT!!"
Her icy gaze speared me and I tried to shake it off. Attacking
her seemed insane...it had not worked before. Still, I had to
give it a try. She cackled again and easily caught me by the
heel, holding me upside down.
But while she was distracted, Ryoga-pig made a flying leap that
almost took my hand off, grabbing the bracelet. The hag dropped
me on my head and snatched at him, but he evaded her.
Ryoga bounced off the bricks into a corner, then shoved his snout
through the wrist-band of the bracelet, which expanded to fit his
neck.
To me, he said, "Buee!"
"What?" I said, climbing to my feet.
"Buee! Buee!"
"One for yes, two for...."
"Buee!"
"You're wasting my time with your trained pig routine!" snapped
the old hag, before realization dawned, "You're...wait a minute!
You're not the agent! _He_ is!"
"Buee!" said Ryoga smugly, looking at me with expectation.
"And if he's the wish-pig..." she sputtered, and Ryoga flashed a
very indignant frown - for a pig, while she pointed at me,
"...then what does that make you?"
I grinned. "I'm guessing it makes me one dangerous son of
a...wait a minute...it makes me...anyway, you're in trouble!"
The hag was wasting no more time talking. She was readying a
spell, judging from the putrid green clouds appearing about her
hands, so I hurriedly added, "Iwishyouwouldgoawayandleavemealone!"
"You haven't seen the last of me!" she shrieked as she melted
into a puddle. "Who'd have thought you would use a pig? Urd,
Urd, you baka! Your spells have never worked...."
-poof-
"We beat her!" I was so happy, I did a victory dance. I grabbed
Ryoga and hugged him to me in glee. Then I noticed that he was
struggling to get away, his eyes glazing over. He was aware of
something I had forgotten in my joy. I was still shifted, and I
was holding him tight against my...I had forgotten that
Cinderella had very prominent...my chest was fuller than I was
accustomed to, and....
"Aw, gross," I hissed and dropped Ryoga before he nosebled all
over my dress.
He staggered to his feet and turned to stare at the mouth of the
alley. I whipped around, expecting to see another foe, but what
I saw was shopowners and vendors. Angry shopowners whose stalls
we had run through.
"Ohboy. I hope they're fans," I said, but Ryoga merely grunted.
It turned out okay, though. I did a song and dance routine, the
shop owners applauded, and we walked away. We walked fast,
because one baker kept hinting that we could help him replenish
his supply of pork buns.
HIROSHI:
I walked home slowly, kicking at stones and feeling melancholy.
After talking to Ryoga and seeing that tree come alive and go
after him, and then getting chased by an old witch, I was also
feeling a little nervous. What else could go wrong?
Mom was not home. Nor was Pops, or Hainoko. There was a note on
the table, in Mom's handwriting but weak and trembling, "Clinic.
Hurry."
I ran.
Pops was in talking to the doctor when I got there. They did not
know I was there. The doc shook his head and counted tiles on
the floor while Pops ranted, "Are you sure? But she's only...at
her age? Why her?"
Again, the doc shook his head. He was not smiling. "You will
have to consider the other children," he said. "They need to be
told."
I burst into the room and watched the doctor slap a phony smile
onto his face. "Where's Mom?" I asked, and the doctor began to
tell me how she was all right, she had only suffered a bad cold,
and she would be up and about in no time, and she was in such
good health. All the time I could see in his eyes that he was
not telling me everything.
His nurse came in and I could see Mom lying on a bed in the other
room, so I pushed my way to her side. She had been sedated, and
the doctor pulled me away, saying that she had nearly collapsed
because she had not been eating right and was only tired.
Hainoko wanted to stay at the clinic, and I had to drag her home
bodily. Even when I fixed her some dried cereal she cried and
moaned, "I want to see Mommy!" She shied away from my grasp and
whimpered, "She's dying! I wannaseemymommy!".
"I told you, she's only got a bad cold. She does not want you to
catch it, so you can't go in to see her," I said. Maybe I was
trying too hard to be positive, remembering the doctor's
expression. Mom was all right. Everything was fine. Wasn't it?
I decided maybe also I was being too hard on the little brat.
"Listen to me. If you want, I'll take you back to the clinic.
You can stand at the door and wave at her. You'll see. She is
fine, she just needs some rest."
"I don't want to wave at her! How do I know that is really her?
That's somebody pretending to be Mommy so I don't know she's
dying!"
"Who else could it be? What's the matter with you, Packrat?"
"Don't call me that! You know I don't like it! I want to be
with Mommy!"
"Well, you can't. Go play with Yoriko."
She sniffed back tears as she left, probably heading for the
playground. From the doorway, she shouted, "You don't care! You
don't care what I want!"
I sighed as calm settled over the apartment. [She's such a
snotty little twerp. Where did she get the idea that Mom could
be someone else?]
While she was out of the apartment, I used the opportunity to
snoop in her room. I found my Primrose Poster. She had not even
taken it out of the tube.
Then I got a shock. Among the mound of trinkets and personal
items on her dresser were some notes addressed "To
Cinderella-sama" and dated yesterday. They were full of
heart-wrenching pleas for Cinderella to appear at charity
benefits and the children's ward in hospitals.
Great. Not only did I have to go around acting like a girl, I
get a guilt trip if I don't do it in public! My head throbbed as
I rested it in my hands, trying to think of a way out. I did not
want to have to face these people!
NABIKI:
"She's called the 'Cinderella Singer', because she vanished at
precisely midnight the first time she sang," Satchiko said as she
slid the cassette into the VCR. "No one knows who she is, where
she came from, or where she goes. Here is a video of her running
into a crowd just before she disappeared. She never came out."
Nabiki watched the video, slowing and pausing it as the scene
played out, Cinderella merged into the crowd, and then the crowd
dispersed to reveal only a few students. She tapped her teeth
with a pencil eraser as she thought, rewound the tape, and zoomed
the image. Eventually, she pushed back her chair and stood.
"That's great, Satchiko," she said, "Now I had better go see
someone. Good stuff, here. Excellent detail."
"Thanks, Nab-san," Satchiko said as she reloaded the camera.
"Glad to help a business colleague."
After she was alone, Nabiki leaned back and smiled a Nabiki
smile. "Yep, it's always good to call on old friends."
HIROSHI:
It happens once in a hundred years. Maybe more often, but you
get my drift. It was a rare occurrence. Someone knocked at the
door, and when I went to answer it, it was Ryoga. I grabbed him
and pulled him in before he could ask for directions to Furinken
or the Tendo dojo.
"I've got a problem!" I cried to Ryoga, "These are all letters
begging me to appear and sing for worthy causes, and I can't
begin to answer all of them. I've got too much to worry about,
my mom is sick, and I don't have the heart to turn them down. I
need someone to help me meet with these people, to handle all
this stuff!"
Ryoga groaned. "Is that a...."
"Yes! I wish for an agent to help me!"
-poof-
There was a rumble. Seconds later, the door swung open.
"Did someone call?" Nabiki asked.
"Someone shoot me," I groaned. I was doomed. Dee Double-Oh
Doomed.
CHAPTER FOUR: END
James and the Bluejay
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