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sorry, mislabeled the chapter previous.
Third Labor: chapter 16
"An alliance made in ?!"
"go not to the dragons for answer, for you are crunchy and good with
catsup." - anonymous dungeon crawler.
DISCLAIMER: Slayers tm Rui Araizumi & Hajime Kanazaka. MiB tm Columbia
Pictures. Naoko Takeuchi tm Mr & Mrs Takeuchi.
------------
"How long is he going to be asleep *this* time?" Nuku reached out and shook
the human form of Grey with one hand.
"Unknown. 'Vampiric Healing' takes the caster's life force and uses it to
bolster others." Ami closed a book marked 'Clerical Spell Compendium Vol VI'
and considered the body.
"I'm... human." Honey Kisaragi stared at her own hands, though there wasn't
anything noticeably different to an outsider. She was fighting a wild grin.
This was a fight Cutey Honey was losing.
"Nuku Nuku human too. What 'wild surge' mean?"
Ami sighed. Apparently her previous explanations hadn't penetrated. "It
means that in trying to heal you, there were side effects he hadn't
planned."
"Oh," said Nuku, understanding at last. "He made a boo boo."
Setsuna poked the fire and looked back at the single dragon remaining in the
clearing. "Any ideas on what to do with 'Pyre' here?"
"What does one normally do with a dead 200ft dragon?" Honey wondered aloud,
kicking the beast, then hopping around on one foot because she wasn't
wearing shoes at the moment.
"She made a boo boo," Nuku Nuku observed.
"I have a few ideas," suggested Ami.
The Inferna in the underbrush kept her own counsel.
--------------
Elsewhere:
*Poof!* Kiyone and Ed hit the ground exactly like one would expect a young
Galaxy Police Officer and a pikachu to hit the ground.
Kiyone rubbed the part of her anatomy which had hit the ground and winced.
"Ouch. What happened? The ship was coming apart."
"Piii Pika!" Ed held up the short rod with the button on one end.
"A dimensional teleport without setting the coordinates? That was taking a
chance."
"Piii Pi Chu!"
"Yeah, I guess it *does* kinda beat sharing a space suit in some solar
system we don't know." Kiyone looked over the place. Forbidding swamp,
Victorian style mansion, odd antennae from the roof. "Kinda reminds me of
Washu's place."
"Pii Pika." Ed looked over his copy of the "Worldwalker's Guide to
Continuua". ~Where the heck is Pungo, anyway? Dimensional nexus point,
that's good. 'Beware of monsters' - not good.~ "Pii Pikachu."
"What's that?" Kiyone looked over Ed's shoulder to examine the display.
"Doctor Madblood's manor? Sounds a bit like Washu. We ought to get going."
"Pii Pika," Ed said, scampering up to Kiyone's shoulder.
Kiyone pressed the button just as a number of monsters started emerging from
the swamp.
"Damn," said one of the zombies. "She was cute."
"Yeah, but she had one of those pokemon things. Bleah. They're everywhere
these days," another zombie complained. "At least the Doctor hasn't made any
of *them.*"
"Quiet, ya moron. Ya might give him ideas, then it's back to the Basement
for us all."
"Old Uncle Felonius woulda been proud of him," said a dripping swamp
creature. "Oh well. What's on the telly?"
"Not 'Monster-a-go-go' again, is it?"
"Nah, they're doing a version of 'Debbie Does Transylvania'," a zombie
exclaimed. "I just love a ghoul gets boy at the end story."
---------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Guards & Wards was a 6th level spell intended for a wizard's stronghold. The
caster had to be completely familiar with the location for it to be
completely effective. Jared had cast the spell before considering that
Happosai might try to take refuge from the storm by entering an open window.
Jared, though familiar with the usual Tendo household, was not familiar with
the newly rebuilt house. So he could not specify illusiory doors or hide
rooms. The webs covering stairways, fog in corridors, confusion effects at
intersections, and the magical locking of doors *did* occur. However, Jared
had discovered something new upon entering the house.
There was no sign of Happosai, but that could very easily be his "Now you
see me, now you don't" invisibility technique. Once it was determined that
Happosai wasn't easily found, Jared started noticing the room.
The bed, the shelves, the closet, and numerous details proclaimed this
Akane's room. The floor was a thick deep carpet, dark russet in color. The
ceiling was tiles of some ersatz marble material. The walls, were a pastel
shade that seemed to be different depending on the angle of the light. There
were metal protrubrances of some kind, two of them, one near the bed and the
other near the door.
"What in the world did Grey *do* to the place?" Jared stood, blinking. Other
than rebuild it from the smoking ruin of the morning, he meant.
The gadget near the bed had a glow flit about one corner and a girl of about
12 appeared. "Hello. Voice print identified as belonging to the God Of
Crossovers, Jared Saotome. Request confirmation."
"Sasami?!" Jared blinked some more. Though this was a slightly older Sasami
than he was used to.
"Voiceprint confirmed," the hologram of Sasami said, smiling and bowing.
"SASAMI is active. I am very pleased to meet you."
"You're a hologram?" Jared started looking over the room. Happosai was in
here somewhere.
"Self Aware System Artificial Matrix Intelligence," explained SASAMI. "The
original version of myself was developed on timeline TM-RN-KV 245017 in the
year 2012. I'm a voice or need response unit, authorized users only. Grey
built me as a copy of the original system." SASAMI looked around
dramatically, then leaned close and spoke as if divulging a great secret. "I
think he was trying to impress that girl he was with."
Jared smirked, never having done anything like that himself. Him? Certainly
not.
"Uhm, is there something you're looking for?" SASAMI asked curiously.
"Happosai." Jared said. Maybe he should cast a 'Detect Invisible' spell?
SASAMI looked off into space briefly. "Accessing files. Checking police
records. Records found. Oh my."
"You sound like Kasumi," said Jared, eyeing the ceiling.
"KASUMI is another unit, slightly older, but quite nice and lacking some of
the upgrades incorporated into myself," said SASAMI with a grin and a flick
of her ponytails. "She contacted and exchanged a few gigs of recipes with my
original. Very nice AI, not like some of those stuck up ones in Akihabara
and Shinjuku."
Jared shook his head. "So where is he?"
SASAMI frowned, ever so slightly, almost undetectably. "He's in MY house?
Scanning. Six persons detected. Analyzing life signs. One feline-human
hybrid female currently in room specified Nabiki's Bedroom. One panda is
located on the third floor, room specified Spare Bedroom #2. Middleaged male
human, asleep, currently in artificial hotspring, roof. Adjusting
temperature downward ten degrees to wake him. Three human females in
kitchen. Correction. Two human females and one transgendered male. Using
advanced methods. Infrared scan negative. Ultraviolet scan negative. Radar
scan. Positive. Motion detected. Intruder detected in Akane's room."
"Sure that's not me?" Jared was a little uncertain about this AI. Not that
he was prejudiced, some of his best friends were androids.
"Excluded presence of Jared immediately." SASAMI dimmed the light in the
room except for a single spotlight. "Have determined a Dimensional Sidestep
technique is being used. Preparing to deploy countermeasures. Would Jared
please step outside room so that measures can be taken."
Jared hesitated briefly, then went outside the window, watching carefully.
"Happosai. If you do not vacate room specified as Akane's immediately, I
will have to get very cross with you."
"HAH! Do your worst!"
Jared winced. He almost covered his eyes. Almost.
It started softly, then began increasing in volume rapidly. Jared checked,
found the rain had stopped, and put some distance between himself and the
open window. The horror continued within the room.
"Disco, Disco Duck!
Disco, Disco Duck!
Try your luck!
Don't be a cluck!"
The strobe lights. The disco music. Worse, the *bad* disco music.
"We've got a mighty convoy,
rocking through the night,
We've got a beautiful convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight!
Come on and join our convoy,
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way!
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy,
Across the USA! Convoyyyy."
And other truly bad songs added from other categories. Jared could see it.
If SASAMI used an environmental change, it would be energy intensive and not
necessarily reach Happosai. Happosai could hear and could speak while using
his technique, so sonic attacks and causing discomfort would at least reach
the target.
"Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart."
However, Jared considered, some punishments might be considered cruel and
unusual.
"Everybody POLKA!"
"AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" Happosai shot out of the room, and the fight was on again.
-----------------
a higher speed timeline, March 3, 2015:
"Ugh, I can see why the neighbors complained." The police officer shoved at
the outer compound door.
"Let me," a woman whose hair was streaked with grey demonstrated that her
strength hadn't faded much over the years. The door moved rather more
quickly.
The smell of decay was stronger now, causing the officer to cover his nose
with a hankerchief. "Uhm, I take it that Mrs Tendo wasn't available to
come?"
"She could have. However she considers herself the Tendo matriarch at
present. Saotome is a time and a name she has put behind herself a long time
ago." Ukyo looked around the complex, trying to remember decades ago when
she had played and laughed and cried and a certain boy had been behind most
of it. Too many years had dimmed the memories, and she could only catch
glimpses of that simpler time.
"Uhm, okay." The officer picked up a large box and started carrying it
around the compound. "Central, feedcheck."
"Data coming in," came the response from the device, "clean signal.
Autorecord active."
"Roger," acknowledged the officer, who then had to hurry to catch up with
the woman who hadn't stopped.
Ukyo frowned as a door came apart at the first tug. "I suppose we ought to
tear it down. Don't know why they've bothered with the property, all things
considered."
"Someone broke in," the device announced. "Indications are that the break in
occurred a little over a month ago. There's a couple of bottles of sake in
the northeastern perimeter, trace elements indicate they date from then
Probably a drunk trying to sleep it off."
"Since the New Jihad, things have been pretty quiet," the officer said, who
was young enough that he found the current lack of action to be boring.
"Roof's collapsed through here," said Ukyo, "watch your footing. The floor
ain't much better." She'd been so busy. Her and Makoto. Busy with the
restaurant, busy with the changes in weather, busy with the kids. Nodoka
Tendo's youngest was a fine young girl who visited regularly. Soon she'd
graduate High School and move off to college. Her own child was more than a
handful.
"Shame the place has fallen apart like this." A thunk against a wall brought
wood chips down. The officer brushed his uniform off. "I'm sure this place
was beautiful once."
"What made it a home was the people. And other than Makoto and me, well, we
just sort of drifted apart or came to ends. Well, there's your culprit,"
Ukyo said, looking into the interior. "Sure enough, some drunk came in here
to sleep it off and never woke up."
The officer stared. "What the heck is a panda doing in here?"
"Decomposing," quipped Ukyo. She'd said her goodbyes and faced her
ambivalance on the matter a long time ago. Still. "Officer, could you wait
outside for a few minutes?"
The rookie gave her some space, thinking that old people were weird. Ukyo
merely waited until she'd judged him away enough.
"Old man, you vanished years ago, and don't think we didn't notice you when
you were spying on us three years ago. Guess we won't be seeing your tracks
in 2022, ne?
"Kasumi passed on last year. Same thing as took her mother. Now that they
know what to look for, they're screening *her* daughter for it. Nabiki died
in that car accident five years ago, pulled too many hours of work trying to
make extra money, then couldn't spend any of it. You know Rei vanished.
Akane was the darling of the soap opera set for years, then her looks
started to fade, that 'tinseltown' lifestyle caught up with her, she got
relegated to less important parts, and. Well, you know the rest. Last time I
saw her was at Nabiki's funeral. You likely knew what happened to Soun, of
course. While I never did like the guy, and held him and his family
responsible as much as you were, I have to admit that was not a good way to
die. Not that it was painful, but so... undignified.
"Makoto and I have been buddies most of our life. She's doing pretty well,
though she never found anyone in her life. My own relationship with Konatsu
is kinda strange, but there's worse ones and at least he doesn't borrow my
clothes anymore. As for *our* Akane, she hasn't been seen for years. We
still light a candle for her and one for Ranma every Christmas. Maybe,
wherever she is, she'll see that you're finally meeting judgement for your
crimes, Oyaji. It took me ten years to forgive you, at least mainly. I
wonder Nodoka-san ever will."
Ukyo sighed and approached the gate, noting the officer waiting for her was
getting impatient. "Okay, officer. We've checked the property. Now, just to
satisfy everyone, I'll sign the papers and it'll be razed. No reason for the
Saotome name to have any significance at all any more. None at all."
-----------------
"So what do we do now?" Ami sat back and regarded the sky. Tomorrow she'd
start collecting bits and pieces of dragon as spell components and items
that could be woven or enchanted. If nothing else, just potions of red
dragon control in case they ran into more of them later. "He's reverted to
human form, which means he's without the resistance to cold or other
abilities normal to a dragon of his type."
"It's easier for us to switch," theorized Setsuna, "so it seems likely that
somehow during the battle or the healing spells, something of that dragon
nature was transferred. Now it is *we* who have the innate dragon nature and
he is human."
"Nuku human also."
"Nuku's got a point. You two were switched from android and cyborg to
completely human at the same time," Setsuna's voice trailed off
speculatively. "Sounds like he fumbled the spell, probably overreaching his
capabilities again. Seems to do that a lot. So, now we have to decide what
to do and where to go."
Ami lifted one of Grey's arms and noted how limply it flopped when released,
then pried back his eyelids to examine his pupils. "Looks like this may be
awhile."
Honey reached within her and began to blur, but couldn't seem to quite make
the shift to dragon.
"Inferna!" said a certain lion-like Pokemon, cursing briefly her return to
this form. The power was nice, but the vocabulary and dependence on others
to do things that required hands was not
Ami shifted to dragonform, remembering something she'd heard in an earlier
chapter. Once Ami did, Setsuna followed suit. "Why are you in Pokemon form
anyway, Akane? I saw a brief that you were returned to human."
"Akane Inferna Akane," grumbled Akane. (And how am I supposed to tell you?)
"Well, you could try just telling us," suggested Ami gently.
"Akane?!"
"That's right, dragons of certain species have the ability to understand any
intelligent species," remarked Setsuna.
"Akane!" Akane thunked her head against a handy treetrunk. "Akane ne akana
in fer ne."
"So you thought you were going to merge with one of your Analogues?" Ami
translated for Honey and Nuku Nuku.
"Akane ne ne aka inferna akane!"
"But there were sufficient differences that you didn't. So you looked for a
way to return." Setsuna nodded. "But why are you a Pokemon again?"
"Akane ne akane inferna."
"I feel like I'm watching a Lassie movie," said Honey to Nuku Nuku. The
former cyborg had no idea what that meant but nodded anyway.
"So, Hephaestus thinks you can switch back and forth, that the Pokemon thing
is still part of you somehow?"
"NE ne Aka!"
"You just haven't figured out how to trigger the change?" Setsuna
considered. "It might be an external trigger as opposed to an internal one.
That kind of thing happens with magic sometimes. Jusenkyo for example."
"Ne?!" Akane cocked her head thoughtfully. She hadn't considered that, but
it *would* be the sort of curve life threw natives of a Ranmaverse. (She
*hated* that name, though. She was in most of them, even ones where Ranma
was named something else or missing entirely, so shouldn't they be
Akaneverses? Except that most of the Akanes she ran into she felt there was
little resemblence to *her* either.)
Honey started thinking. Was this why she couldn't quite transform? There was
an external factor?
"Ne?"
"Actually, I doubt it's cold water. Or hot water for that matter. You could
try, I suppose." Ami considered. Dragons being innately magical, she could
*feel* magical energies present. Interpreting it, that was something else
altogether. "Just be careful not to extinguish your tail flame."
"NE!" (I'm not stupid, you know.) Akane huffed. Charmanders had a similar
weakness. Though she was *much* more powerful than any lame Charmander.
After a moment, her eyes went to slits and she stared back at where Nuku was
heating a teapot over her tail flame. "Nene Akane!" (I'm not a water heater,
either.)
"Well," Setsuna said, her long neck allowing her a good view of the area.
"We ought to camp for the night, then I've got something to do. We'll deal
with the colony here, then go on towards our next stop."
"Akane?!"
"No, the Caribbean," said Setsuna. "We've got an appointment to keep in five
years."
----------------
very very elsewhere:
"So," said Rimshot into the silence.
His companion, one of several that he'd come to know, nodded.
"You haven't said a lot since we dropped those gals off," said Rimshot,
tiring of the silent treatment.
Suzi nodded again.
"Would you bloody well say something?! It's been two days!"
Suzi let out a deep sigh.
"Is it something your clairvoyant talents have told you? Some terrible
danger that looms in our future?" This had been the thought continuing to
lurk in Rimshot's head.
The Mystic regarded the Techno-Wizard, briefly, her red eyes searching the
shorter, gadget-oriented, mage. "Did you see them?"
"Yeah, they looked a lot like people we've met and worked alongside, didn't
they?" Rimshot reached out with his spatula and turned the burgers over on
the camping stove. "Though you know why I can't possibly be interested in
Ree - whatever odd relationship she might have with my other self. She's
*human* - I'm Atlantean."
"I'm human too," said Suzi quietly. "And True Atlanteans originated here on
Earth from the same ancestors. It isn't that much of a stretch."
"Maybe," Rimshot reluctantly conceded. After a few minutes of silence, he
decided to try another subject. "So where do you think we are?"
Suzi, one of other dimensional selves of Setsuna Meiou, looked at the
spectacular dual sunset briefly. It hadn't been immediately obvious, to
either of them, when they had arrived on a moonless night, that this wasn't
Earth, RIFTS or not. Though she was a Mystic and had vast psychic and
magical abilities, there was only one answer she could give. "Not a clue.
Goodnight Rimshot."
"Goodnight, Suzi." Rimshot consoled himself with the fact that she was at
least talking now.
Suzi continued to think about hearing how her other self and Rimshot's other
self were an "item" - and wondered about something she'd never had cause to
think about before.
-------------------
Candlekeep, Toril, Realmspace:
Rigel Maerklos was a powerful Telepath, one of the most powerful in the city
of Waterdeep. And in a city where Illithid, also known as mind flayers, or
other beasts with natural mental powers, could be found skulking - such a
claim meant something.
However, there were five Gifts. Telepathy, the voices of the mind, were but
one. Psychometabolism, mind over body, was also one of his studies - though
not nearly to the extent of his primary discipline. Psychoportation, mind
over space. Clairsentience, the mind's eye. Psychokinesis, mind over matter.
All had their benefits and drawbacks.
Wisp stood nearby. Scared half out of her elven hide, but she would *not*
back down or leave his side if she had any choice in the matter. An outcast
of her own people, who had found her soulmate in a short-lived human
mind-mage. She held one hand to her sword, ready to draw it in an instant if
it became necessary.
Not because of the people surrounding them being dangerous or hostile
towards elves. No, not anything so obvious. Candlekeep was a center of
learning and study. The clerics here knew how to fight but were hardly
crazed savages or dire wraiths.
No, Wisp was afraid of something far more personally terrifying than carrion
crawlers or zombies, more a figure in her nightmares than beholders or
ancient dragons. Wispara would actually be relieved at encountering such
pedestrian menaces. No, she was much more afraid that it would be discovered
that it was *her* who had accidently torched a whole set of Volo's maps
while here at this very place. She had so far kept the exact nature of the
crime concealed even from Rigel (and as he was a telepath and often in
mind-to-mind contact with her, this was a bit of trick in and of itself) but
suspected that she could bankrupt the House Of Maerklos on this single
shame.
(Actually, it was suspected by darn near everyone that as the maps had been
of a number of the Nine Sisters' abodes, that it was those worthy mages who
had popped in and crisped the maps. And if Wisp's involvement had been
determined, those same Nine Sisters would likely have heartily thanked the
elf.)
So Wisp remained close to "her Rigee" and kept nervously looking over the
place, wishing that she was instead in a nice dark and dank dungeon
surrounded by goblins or some other nuisance.
"Rigel Maerklos of Waterdeep, here to see Rumin Bekk," said Rigel to an aged
cleric in yellow robes.
That worthy nodded and pulled on a long tassled ribbon hanging from the
ceiling, which responded with a clanking of bells from elsewhere.
Rigel walked down the corridor indicated by the old cleric, Wisp almost
hanging onto him as she eyed tall shelves thick with old books and scrolls.
She *knew* all she needed to do was brush one of those tomes and it would
fall apart into dust. Very expensive dust. That SHE would have to pay for.
Finally the two came to an open area and stood before a desk by which a
positively ancient human sat, scribbling with a long feather pen.
"Yes, yes, yes, don't be wasting my time, just state your business and go
away." Rumin Bekk spared a split instant to glare up at the intruders
before turning his attention to the books in front of him.
"Alternate dimensions, analogues, timelines? I would know more." Rigel said
in a low voice, giving as much respect as he could to this ancient
librarian.
"Pfeh, go back to your books and ledgers, Rigel Maerklos. There are things
in this world you are better off not knowing, much less getting involved in.
Go back with your Elven Bride and beget many half-elves of divers talents
and specialties. Leave this talk of your other selves and the paths not
taken remain a simple strange and singular encounter." Rumin spared another
instant to glare up at the two of them.
"B-bu-bu-but we're not married. I mean, that is, if Rigee," stammered Wisp,
blushing and fidgeting. "Well, I suppose, I mean that is..." Both of the
others began ignoring Wisp as she started mumbling to herself about kids and
marriage and were they really ready, and after all, Rigel's mother was still
against the idea, and maybe.
"They crossed my path once," said Rigel, "how do I prepare for them to do it
again if I do not seek information on this matter?"
"You don't," said Rumin with a final tone in his voice. "If they do, they
do. If they don't, they don't. Pursuing this course only guarantees that
they do."
"...and then there's the matter of those Eilistraee priestesses. Boy,
wouldn't *they* be scandalized. Well, except Deucette. *She's* got a human
she's got her eye on, if she'll ever get over her shyness and ask him out.
Imagine, a shy drow. They'd never believe that at home. But are we ready for
kids? I mean I haven't even..."
"So I should just be a turtle and withdraw into my shell?" Rigel shook his
head. "That I cannot do."
"Then I'll pray for you, but seek your knowledge in Aisle 24, section D,
fifth floor. Now go away, I have copying to do."
Wisp walked alongside Rigel for a few minutes, nervously glancing around at
the buildings and then back at her companion. "Uhm, Rigee?"
Rigel nodded, using a brief pulse to check the "flavor" of mental auras
nearby. No ambushes. No undead. Nothing that immediately screamed "enemy" to
him. The familiar warm glow/dark cool cavern/scent of pine on moonlit night
that was Wisp. The priests, unfamiliar "scents" that were mainly shielded
to him. Mainly nonhostile, if you made allowances for a non-scholar invading
their territory.
"Rigee?" Wisp took his hand, deep in thought herself.
"Hmmm?" No, he couldn't find any danger.
"What do you think about kids?"
On second thought, maybe there *was* some danger present.
--------------
Ranma/Akumakun timeline:
Conventional martial arts techniques had been used early in the battle.
Happosai's skill level was everything it was reputed to be.
When traditional "straight" martial arts had been given their chance, the
two combatants quickly went into "fancier" maneuvers.
"Bean Jam Blowout!" "Too slow!"
"I'll have you...!" "Pheonix Claw Crush!"
However, with everyone going to chi discharges and special techniques, an
audience quickly gathered.
"Ha! Paralysis Strike!" "Ha ha! Elves don't have the same shiatsu points,
you moron! That tells me you haven't got the Eyes of the Spirit chi power or
you would have known not only that but what the new ones were! Which
means... Seeker Blast Revised! Stealth Seeker!"
*BLAM!*
A tree fell down.
"Grrr! How dare you disrespect your elders! Happo Bowling Ball Frenzy!"
"Elven Evasion!"
"Oooh, and it's a hot contest today," Scarlet said into her mike, wearing
her best set of enchanted dragonscale armor of glimmering
crimson, set off by a long white cape and her heraldric device splashed
across her ample chest. (Built along the lines of Delphins amazon armor, it
provided maximum protection while lifting and enhancing some areas while
being tight yet flexible in others. The Amazons known as the Delphins wanted
to be great fighters, but to look even better while they did it.) "The two
opponents are showing no quarter!"
"That's right!" Sakyo, wearing TV newscaster clothing, announced into her
own microphone. "Welcome martial arts fans to today's installment of Martial
Arts Mayhem! Today, we have the Demon From Japan, the horrific and poorly
aged pervert from the past, the degenerate and depraved dojo devil, the
infamous vile villain, the despicable and pathetic evil slimebucket of
larceny and bad taste - Master Happosai of the Anything Goes Style Of
Martial Arts!"
Happosai blinked as he heard this from loudspeakers that seemed to be set up
all over the neighborhood. And was that a holographic image of the backyard?
Being shown similarly all over town. "HEY! I'm not poorly aged!" *grumble,
grumble*
"And in this corner - the crowd's favorite," Sakyo smiled and raised an
eyebrow at the camera.
Jared twitched. "Please, no."
"The Elven Master Of Martial Arts Righteousness! The handsome and dashing
swashbuckler, a hero a thousand times over, defeater of youma, slayer of
demons, protector of all that is good and kind, the one, the only - JARED
SAOTOME!"
"Gee, THAT's an unbiased introduction," grumped Happosai, spotlighted in
red. He continued to mutter about not being poorly aged.
Jared momentarily shook his head, the drifting sakura petals and golden glow
surrounding him being another holographic field. "Uhm, I'm
just trying to destroy some wickedness here. You're interrupting."
Scarlet clasped her hands together adoringly. "But that makes this the
*perfect* opportunity to show everyone what a TRUE HERO you are!" In the
background Sailor Saturn was using her Scout Planetary Computer to
manipulate the global broadcasts and get the live over the networks.
"Well, all the more reason for me to go all out," reasoned Happosai.
"Anything less than my best would disappoint my many fans. No doubt many
young ladies will be overawed by my manly presence."
"There are clumps of dirt more manly than you, I know some of them
personally," said Jared, really wishing he could just call it off now.
"Besides, we can't go full out. The house'll be damaged."
"No it won't," announced Sakyo with just the right amount of bounce in her
smile and voice. "SASAMI, would you elucidate?"
"They won't hear this in my house, will they?" SASAMI asked nervously. "I'm
trying to keep a low profile. Oh my. Oh dear. Well, yes. The Tendo
household was rebuilt using tritanium rebar, duralloy braces, neoplas
plumbing and other typical conventions for a house on the planet Gehenna,
you know the one - monsters and planetquakes arriving hourly? So, I've taken
the liberty of sealing the house using a Type IV defense field and a
integrity stabilizer field such as used in certain starships. My builder is
fond of gadgetry, you see. I think he was
trying to impress his girlfriend. Funny thing, I don't think she's noticed."
"Well," Scarlet said, scratching her head. "That sounds nice. What exactly
does that mean?"
SASAMI seemed to think for a moment. "Well, it means that if this planet is
ever destroyed by alien invaders or anything short of a
supernova, the Tendo Dojo will survive. They could host Sailorjin parties
here if they wanted. Internal systems are fed off a Quantum
Cascade generator rated at 5.21 MW."
Sakyo smiled at the camera. "Translation for the folks at home. Happosai is
about as likely to damage the new Tendo dojo with one of
his chi attacks as Scarlet here has of successfully preparing a meal that
will pass muster with a French gourmet."
"HEY!" Scarlet grumped. "How hard could it be, though, I mean they eat
*snails* for crying out loud." She hefted a food tray. "Speaking of that. I
made lunch for everybody. Who wants a hot dog?"
SASAMI's eyes grew *terribly* wide as her scanners read the food tray and
automatically sounded a HAZMAT alert.
Scarlet grabbed one of her own hot dogs and bit into the end. "Mmmm, see!
It's good! I got the recipe from this ball park in New York City while we
were... I... uh oh. Errr." Scarlet began to take on a greenish hue then
keeled over.
The Sabre Scout Amy tsked and shook her head. "That stuff barely counts as
edible (or borderline toxic) under normal circumstances."
Happosai blinked as Jared began building power up. The old pervert made a
leap for the twitching heap of girl who looked just like Akane (except for
the lack of fur, her current greenish hue, and she had somewhat more of a
figure) for a quick powerup himself, wolfing food in midair and reaching for
a grope.
Jared winced and turned his head away from the awful sight.
"AaaahggghhH!" Happosai shuddered as he spit bits of hot dog out. "That's
not right. Wasabi, soysauce, and alfredo? On a hotdog? And that was *not*
sauerkraut. Ke ke ke. Jared, you shall pay for this!"
Even though they were opponents, Jared still felt some sympathy for the old
man. Scarlet had recently gotten to the point where she could boil hotdogs
successfully. Unfortunately, she still had the same tendency to get
"overenthusiastic" when not carefully supervised.
"Ooo. Somebody stop the yard from doing backflips," Scarlet asked, her voice
laden with the sort of misery usually reserved for those who have a hangover
and labor pains simultaneously.
Sakyo blinked a couple of times. "Hey, she's getting better. All right
folks, now with Scarlet incapacitated, we see Happosai trying to sneak away
and glomp Shan!"
Shan smiled sweetly and beckoned Happosai closer. If he tried to use that te
chnique, she'd copy it, then reverse it so that she could drain him dry of
chi.
Makoto Jupiter also smiled and beckoned the little pervert. Once he had
glomped onto her, she'd go to Super Sailorjin form and he'd be fried
pervert.
Jared blanched at the thought of Shan (or any of his fiancees) learning
Happosai's recharge manuever. Things would actually get worse.
"Now now, this is not the audience participation section," chastised Sakyo.
Reacting with the wards on his girlfriends' Undergarments of Protection was
something the old pervert would undoubtably live through. Scarlet's cooking
was powerful enough to make a Hutt puke (something they are biologically
incapable of, and not inclined to anyway). But doubtless the geezer would
land in a women's bath or something and get saved from being over the brink
of death.
It was the way these universes typically worked.
Happosai breathed deeply and returned his gaze to Jared. He had to finish
this whelp quickly.
Jared breathed deeply, focussing. He had to finish this fight quickly.
------------
Ami rolled her eyes. Nuku had found out how to transform. That was fine. She
didn't become a silver dragon, however. Speculation was that Setsuna being
Sailor Pluto, sort of had a relationship to cold and ice and that sort of
thing. Ami, of course, had a number of other analogues who were Sailor
Mercury - the Senshi of Ice. This also made sense.
The best idea that Ami could come up with is that a primary aspect of Nuku's
personality was that she was playful and liked fish. That was the *only* way
she could think of that Nuku could be a bronze dragon. If anything, her tie
to the originator of the dragon seed should have transformed her to a silver
dragon as well. Nope. Definitely bronze.
This was, however, *not* why Ami rolled her eyes and tried to pretend that
the only other dragon within several klicks was *not* with her.
"Ohhhhhhhhh!
I'm just a little baby bumble bee!
Won't my mommy be surprised to see!
That I'm just a little baby bumble bee!
Ya da da da ta ta da ta da ta da dee!"
Even Honey, normally feeling some kinship towards Nuku due to their atypical
origins and that they were neither Senshi nor a member of the Ranma cast,
was looking a bit askance at the transformed Nuku.
"Ah yadda da da da da duuup."
Grey, still comatose, wasn't suggesting music lessons if Nuku was going to
try to sing.
"Dah dah dah dah yatta da da da."
Ami decided that while Setsuna was off on her mysterious business, she
should take charge. And if she went fast enough, maybe Nuku would require
all her breath to keep flying. If she could keep to the same note, it might
be a different story.
-------------
Jiro Takayama was one of the biggest men of the village. Due to the Chinese
raiders and the dragon, that didn't say much. Villages tended to be
scattered sparsely populated areas which could be abandoned quickly. Though
the raiders hadn't been seen in twenty years now, the dragon remained.
*THUD!*
There were screams and cries as the horrible red dragon reappeared. Though
there appeared to be something different about it this time.
Maybe it was that the head looked almost gnawed on and there was no body
attached.
The dragon who dropped the head in the village square looked almost like it
had been cast in liquid metal. A shining shape like and yet unlike the beast
of terror and flame.
"Rejoice people of this village," said the dragon in the voice of a woman.
"For mine husband and I have slain the foul beast that didst terrorize you!"
There was some muted rejoicing, for no one in village, including Jiro,
thought that another dragon would be better. "So what tithes and levies will
*you* bring against us, O horrific one?"
"Just that you treat each other well," the dragon said, and lo! It blurred
and shrunk and a woman stepped forth where the beast had been. "If you seek
to honor the battle that has freed you from the tyranny of this evil one,
then I shall teach you a ceremony to center and purify yourself."
The idea was beginning to penetrate that maybe they hadn't exchanged one
master for another. Jiro bowed low. "And what is this ceremony you would
have us perform?"
The woman smiled. "I have here a pot and some plant seeds. Listen well, for
this potent beverage doth clear the mind and heart. It is called 'tea' and
one boils the leaves of the plant which grows forth..."
Setsuna Meiou was not about to have a Japan develop which did not have tea.
--------
A sort of Evangelion timeline:
Minako grumbled. "If she wasn't going to make it, she should have called."
"Ami being late? Must be an exam coming up," Rei shook her head. "Oh girls,
it is *so* good to get some time away from the shrine."
"So what's up with you, Mako-chan," asked Minako.
"The restaurant business is going about as well as you could expect," Makoto
sighed. "Remember when we got the Crystal and remade the world? We'd planned
so long. Maybe it would have been better if we hadn't."
"I think I know where you're going with this. Everybody wished for something
for themselves or to fix something caused by the Yoma War." Minako leaned
back in her chair and regarded the ceiling. "Ami wished for love - her old
sempai returned to her. I think she got the best of the deal."
"Yeah, but then Misato had to make *her* wish," grumbled Haruka.
-----
No one spared a glance at where Gendo Ikari's dreams of becoming a god were
ending as a series of bubbles on the Lake Of Blood (actually LCL) after he'd
taken one shot from Usagi and six bullets from Misato. After some of the
things he'd done, not even Usagi could bring herself to care much. Misato
kept her gun leveled at the only persons present who weren't part of her
little rebellion.
Ritsuko didn't even look at Gendo herself. Her eyes were focussed on the
object all the GUTS genetically engineered soldiers were surrounding. "So
that's it."
"What's it?" Maya Ibuki asked of her sempai, rattling her handcuffs. Like
Ritsuko, they'd both been hauled here after the invasion of the UN Forces.
They'd been saved, but were now facing a *very* uncertain future. Ritsuko
didn't answer the question, however.
"The Silver Crystal, an ancient artifact capable of rewriting reality. Yes."
Misato said. "You guys want to hurry up?"
"Put your hand out, Misato. Without your help we wouldn't have gotten this
far."
"I wish for world peace now, with all of the youma soldiers gone from our
lives," said Usagi. The light from the crystal pulsed.
"I wish that the scars on the land from the fighting would be healed, and my
job at the temple restored," Rei stated forcefully. Another pulse from the
crystal.
"I wish for my career as a popular singer," Minako chimed. Another pulse.
"I wish for my restaurant and flower shop," Makoto said, "and the chance for
a normal life." Another pulse from the crystal.
"I wish I was the same age as all of you, 16," Hotaru said, more than a
little tired of being referred to as "the child" or "the kid". Another
pulse.
"I wish that the damage to the seas from the First Impact be healed," said
Michiru, being ecologically oriented in this lifetime.
"I wish that the wounds my Michiru had were completely healed without
scarring," Haruka didn't care if this was a waste of a wish. In a few years
Michiru might be completely healed, according to the doctors. Watching
Michiru limping one moment more than necessary was not something Haruka
wanted to face.
"I wish that both SEELE and NERV itself would cease to be, disbanding
quietly and without fuss, to trouble mankind no more," said Setsuna, not
about to waste a wish on something frivolous.
"I wish that my love, my Grey-chan, were restored to me," said Ami, "that
we could be married right away and live happily ever after. Or as close to
that as is possible in reality."
Misato considered. With the falling birthrate for males since the First
Impact, her own chances of getting someone were pretty slim. If only Kaji
had survived. Ami had been telling stories about her old boyfriend for so
long that he sounded like just the sort of guy she'd wished she'd met.
"Well, I wish we all could have someone like your Grey-chan."
The Crystal pulsed a final time and the world was remade in a storm of
silver light.
--------
"You have *no* idea how sorry I am I said that," said Misato. "I went
through my teenage years once before, and trust me, it was bad enough the
first time."
"Tell me about it," sighed Ritsuko. Maya nodded.
"We all made mistakes," Hotaru reminded. "We didn't wish wisely. The war had
gone on so long, and so much had gone wrong. To have a way to suddenly fix
everything? It was overwhelming."
"There's Ami, she's... glowing?" Minako blinked.
Ami walked, no - it was more appropriate to say that she sauntered or
glided, and took her seat at the cafe.
"Ami, you look..." Makoto stared. She'd never seen Ami like this. Ever.
"Uhm, content, confident, tired," suggested Setsuna.
"Satisfied, satiated," supplied Minako, immediately jealous and leaping to a
correct conclusion. "So, uhm, what were you and Grey-chan up to?"
"Hot springs," purred Ami, glowing with female hormones. "Weekend."
"I thought he had stamina problems," said Ritsuko, ignoring the way everyone
else (except Ami) had turned bright red. "He's an albino after all."
"Stamina drinks, high protein diet," Ami said, eyes half closed. "Shiatsu.
Carpathian soldier endurance point."
"So anything happen besides sex?" Michiru was having trouble fitting the shy
little bookworm with this girl who looked like the cat who had found a ready
supply of canaries.
"Breakfast," said Ami with a drowsy smile, reminding them that her Grey-chan
was a cook. "Snuggle. Cuddle. Pillow fight. Tickle. Warm lazy mornings."
Minako twitched a couple of times. "So how much longer with your schooling?"
"Not counting internship of course," said Makoto, a weekend at a hot springs
sounding good to her. Though she suspected she'd get into fights with Shinji
over whose turn it was to cook.
Michiru carefully concealed her sly look. Haruka had flirted with two
waitresses and three of the other customers while waiting for Ami. "Maybe we
should advance the timetable. Ami here obviously can't concentrate on
studying."
"Huh?" Ami's calm slipped slightly.
------------
Third Labor timeline:
Ami had gotten her spell off, and three dreamers surrounded a fourth. It
seemed, however, that Grey was not the only one that could misfire spells.
Especially as Ami hadn't anticipated a difference from being a human mage to
a dragonmage. So a simple Sleep spell had gone wrong.
Ami's huge (by human standards) silver form surrounded the three others,
forming a barrier from the cold wind blowing across the mountaintop. *That*
at least had gone as planned.
-------
Another frequent nightmare, or memory in this case. She was fighting Panther
Zora again. No matter what she "Honey Flashed" into, Zora's raw power was
able to take it and dish out greater damage. The demoness was taunting her.
She'd be reborn again and again, even if Honey slew her a thousand times. As
long as there was evil in the hearts of man, she would be rekindled.
This time there was no Ward Against Teleportation thrown up. No sudden
allies, including a sometimes-dragon riding to her rescue. No final
destruction of Panther Zora and her evil. It was her original timeline, as
it would have ended without outside intervention. She knew it to be so,
because she'd gotten curious and had wanted to see it. It had haunted her
ever since.
Her sword, the Silver Floret, stabbed deep into Panther Zora's heart. Flame
and the explosion ripped her outer layers off, leaving only her android
parts - singed and melted but intact.
A broken and discarded doll who could only look out at the world through
dimming eyes until her interior systems failed.
-------
Honey cuddled up closer to another sleeper. It hadn't happened that way.
Three missions prior to his First Labor, he'd visited her timeline. He'd
been a gold dragonmage at that time, and accompanied by others. A real
ragtag crew. He'd put the Teleport Block into place, shearing Panther Zora's
connections to her boltholes. Then, when the battle was over, he'd repaired
the damage to her. And left.
The next time she'd seen him, neither he nor his companions had remembered
the battle. He had been some bizarre stand-in for a pigtailed martial artist
named Ranma Saotome, and he hadn't been doing a good job of it.
She'd linked up with him then. There had been some affection and
understanding, a camaderie and enough common points that Honey felt they had
a certain connection. With almost anyone else, Honey felt that her
artificial origins would be a problem. Not with him. Not with Grey. There
were people and timelines, whole other cultures that needed protecting.
Those were part of his duties.
And it was clear that if she did "link up" with him, she could share that.
Among other things.
And now, through his usual bumbling, she was human. Flesh and blood all the
way through. At least for now.
Honey smiled as she cuddled up to the nearest warm non-draconic body. She'd
never felt this alive before. Even on an alien Earth, in its ancient past,
facing demonic beings and extradimensional meddlers, and stuck in a
competition she'd never seen as even a bare possibility before. She wasn't
fighting alone any more. And *that* made a difference.
================
Doctor Madblood, Madblood Manor, and the trappings come from one of those
few fond memories of the 70s. A thoroughly campy late night horror flick
host and his cast of characters, slinging puns and strange skits into the
wee hours of the night. *sigh* just found he'd put a webpage up and *had*
to do a cameo.
http://hometown.aol.com/pungomd
Rimshot's Utility Belt: he's had several of these over the years, so a
character in RIFTS Earth may well run across one that was hidden away as
part of an emergency cache. He was inspired to build the first one after
watching an ancient video dealing with a crimefighter of some ancient
pre-RIFTS city called Gotham. While he's forever tinkering with/replacing
some of the gadgets, this is a fair "average" of the belt's contents.
Magic Net grenades (3) - same as the spell. Carpet of Adhesion grenades
(3) - same as the spell. Drycleaning pellets (2nd level spell Cleanse
PPE:3), Rimshield (small disc, pump in 3 PPE for the Magic Shield spell - 30
MDC), Fixit Pocket Welder (Mend the Broken PPE:5), Jammer Pod (6th level
spell Frequency Jamming, PPE:8), Beamsaber (7th level spell, Lightblade,
PPE:10), Gremlin Pod (6th level spell Negate Mechanics, 10 PPE), Battery
Charger (7th level spell, Sub-Particle Acceleration, PPE:10 can only
recharge standard energy clips, 6 shots per 10 PPE used), Guardian Pod (3)
(4th level spell, Watchguard, PPE: 5), Cubes of heat and cold (two cubes
about the size of a standard pair of dice, one red, the other blue - 1 PPE
causes the red cube to slowly heat up to about the temperature of a hot cup
of tea, 1 PPE causes the blue cube to cool to slightly above freezing
water), Elevator disc (expands out to the size of a manhole cover, 5 PPE to
get it to rise or lower). Triscanner - a handheld wand that most resembles a
salt shaker. See The Invisible, Sense Evil, Detect Concealment. 4 PPE. The
pods have magnetic strips on one side, allowing them to be affixed to walls
or mechanisms.
Rimshot has also had a number of weapons over the years. Favorites for
a stash would be either anything he's gotten recently but doesn't have a
sentimental value, or (in order of preference):
TX-5 Triax Pump Pistol + 3 reloads (keeps well if you use a minor MDC case)
(5#, 4d6 MD, 800ft range, 5 rounds)
Wilk's 320 Laser Pistol (fairly durable and is a fairly common weapon) (2#,
1d6 MD, 1000ft range, 20 shots)
C-10 light assault laser rifle (fairly common in some areas, durable) (5#,
2d6 MD, 2000 ft range, 20 shots) the targetting system on any that Rimshot
has cached away are likely to be replaced with a TW system.
===============
-----------
Akane blinked. "When I said 'pervert' earlier, it seems
that I was guilty of making a serious understatement."
----Mirrors Reflected:Shadows On The Moon
metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/