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You'll likely be seeing them more often now that I'm out of the Navy for
the most
part. Heh.
*ahem* YAY!
And I'm the one that's cheering the loudest of all. ^-^
Well, we await with baited breath. Now where did I put that Listerine...
Over by the cyinide. ^_^
Well then, I guess the rest of us will just have to check harder.
I need that, seriously I do.
You think if she allowed herself to develop past puberty, that would change?
^_^
Or maybe that's fully grown for her race. You never know with some of these people.
I think you should drop the "obviously" here. It sounds too much like
the
narrator is speaking directly to the audience, and that spoils the mood
a
little. Just "He did this often" would be fine.
Noted. Will change.
I dunno, I kinda like it. It's like a side note or something.
I went ahead and dropped it. It seemed more to the point when I did that, so I kept
it that way.
In other words, she means his equivalent to his brain? Or just a set of
brain-augmenting implants?
Whatever she calls memory modules. I'd be scared to ask myself. Heh.
Yumi's a lot like Washuu. She's a bit more uptight though. Needs to get
laid most
likely.
Not with that build.
Yeah...she is kind of...underdeveloped looking.
For some reason, I'm reminded of that fist from thet Tenchi Universe Episode
where the girls were running booths at the Carnival. Ryoko had a
fish-catching booth where this massive fish leapt out of the water, said: "I
AM A BIG FISH," and splashed back into the tank.
LOL! I forgot about that.
A minor nitpick. Doesn't Tenchiken belong to Tenchi now? I thought it
chose him as it's new owner during OAV 5.
It did. Other members of his family can still use it when needed, and Katsuhito felt
he needed it. There will be another reason in the future, but I wouldn't want to
spoil it for you.
� � "Be at ease all. �He is not yet awake, nor will he wake
You need another comma after "ease".
Or maybe just kill the word 'all'
I go for removing the 'all.'
It's what I did.
The way you're building this up, it almost has to be...
But it couldn't...
Yes it is...
Or is it? ^_^
Especially when they're dealing with who I think they're dealing
with. It IS who I think it is, isn't it? ^_^
Galvatron? Cthulu? Mokona? ^_-
Pikachu. ^_-
That's just wrong man. Heh.
� � Not one of them lifted a finger to help him. �
Well, I'm sure they did lift a finger, but it definitely wasn't to help him.
^_^
Good one. Heh, they probably did that AFTER he spoke to them.
He pulled
his long green hair to the side, and gave a friendly grin to each
and every person there.
_Green_ hair? He reincarnated into his TU form?
You'll see.
No, he's Glider(play Skies of Arcadia to get this one)
Gotcha.
You may fire when ready. Be warned though, that if you do, you wont' get
the next
chapter. ^_-
We'll just extract the information from your corpse, then.
Geez, it's nice to be loved. ^^ I think.
Naa, more buildup. It's fun that way. ^_^
Just not TOO much.
I'm trying to stave off the buildup, but I really want to get this backstory going.
I liked it too, and the few errors I saw were already covered. BTW, can you
send me the previous chapters, or at least a URL where I can get them
myself? I missed them.
http://www.tmffa.com They're in the lemon section. Can't miss them.
Thanks for reading!
K'thardin
"Their defenses are broken! Let the slaughter begin!"
-Megatron