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None of the Above
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
by Ginrai
C&C appreciated - ranmafics@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its characters are property of Rumiko
Takahashi.
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"_What_ did you say?" Akane asked Ranma, as she gave him a look of
disbelief and promised pain.
"Yes, Ranchan. Just what did you mean by that?" Ukyou asked, giving
him the same look.
"Shampoo know Airen just joking. Airen not choose someone other than
Shampoo." Shampoo held up her bonbori to show Ranma just how much she
liked his joke.
Seeing the look the three girls gave him, Ranma backed away a bit
before answering. "Actually, it's true. I can't marry any of you
because.... because I'm in love with someone else." He felt a little
better having told that. Even though their looks promised even more
pain than before.
"Who... who is it?" Akane asked, afraid of who is choice might be but
nevertheless curious about it.
Suddenly Ukyou ran up to Ranma and grabbed him by the shirt and started
shaking him. "How could you?! Why choose Kodachi?!"
The other two girls were stunned when they realized that Kodachi, in
fact, was _not_ with them for this announcement.
"But..."
"What is so good about her and those damn roses?!"
"Actually I..."
"She never listens to you. She doesn't even know about the curse! At
least choose someone that listens and understands you. Someone like
me!"
Seeing that Ranma was never going to be able to say anything while
being shook by Ukyou, Akane and Shampoo and pulled her away from him.
"Why would I choose Kodachi? I don't even want her to know that I made
a choice. I mean, she scares me!"
"Ranma, father said that you had to marry a Tendou. It doesn't have to
be me. Did you choose Kasumi?" Akane felt sad when saying this. In
her mind it was obvious that Ranma chose her oldest sister. She was
always the calm one and maybe he just wanted a peaceful life.
"Kasumi? No. She's nice and all, but love and marriage between us
wouldn't work. Sometimes she's just too nice. I need someone that's
willing to actually tell me that I'm doing something wrong."
"So Airen choose mercenary sister?"
Before anything else could be said, Ranma replied. "Nabiki?! That
would be a very scary thought! The only thing she's ever cared about
was how much money she can make by using me. I mean, I'd rather marry
Mr. Tendou to have the schools united. Not that I'm ever gonna let
such a thing control my decision."
"So you're in love with a guy, Ranchan?" Ukyou started to mentally
curse herself. <If I only kept dressing like a guy. Ranchan would
then still be in love with me and not....> "Is it Ryouga?" In a sick
sort of way, it made sense. They just _had_ some type of fated couple.
"NO!!!" Ranma screamed after letting the shock get through his system.
"I don't care about Ryouga that way! Let him have a boring life with
Akari!"
"Mousse no bother Shampoo for a while. Maybe he go crazy and fall in
love with Airen girl side? He probably think that love at first
sight."
"Come to think of it, Kunou hasn't been around me lately. Not that I
don't like that. Do you think that he's somehow erased Ranma's
memories and made him believe that they're in a state of bliss
together?"
"Will you girls stop thinking like that?!" Ranma was beginning to
think that maybe he shouldn't have told them and that he should have
just ran away. Though, considering their persistence, it would have
resulted in a long and winding road and possibly even a bitter end.
"Maybe Airen enter the Phoenix." Shampoo suggested. The others gave
her a look of confusion. "Never mind."
When hearing the word 'phoenix', Akane thought of someone else. "Is it
Kiima?" she asked reluctantly. Could he have actually won the heart of
the phoenix guard? The fact that Kiima once tried to kill her
depressed Akane even more.
"Haven't seen Kiima since Mount Phoenix. And I wouldn't know what to
do if I did see her."
Seeing their list getting shorter, their thoughts started to get a bit
more unique. "D... do you like animals" one of the girls asked, though
Ranma wasn't sure who.
"Umm... sort of." Ranma didn't know why they would ask him such a
question at this point.
This caused each girl to look at each other before staring back at
Ranma.
"Ranchan, is it a dog?" Seeing Ranma's expressionless face, Ukyou
jumped to the logical conclusion. "It is, isn't it? Why does it
always have to be a dog?!" Ukyou then screamed out "There is no such
thing as justice!"
"It has to be P-chan." Akane said, her face showing even more pain than
before. They both always did seem to fight whenever they were seen
together and that usually is the first sign of true love. It just
wasn't fair. "Damn it, Ranma, you can't have him. _I'm_ P-chan's
lover!"
"Shampoo think Neko-Ken change Airen's mind. Make him love robot with
brain of cat."
Ranma slowly started to back away from the girls, shaking his head
while doing so. "Umm... none of the above. What I want is someone who
won't hold me down and make me stay in one place. Someone who's good
at martial arts and has a strong will."
"Someone like you?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I mean."
A cry of 'Pervert!' followed by a severe beating could be heard.
Slowly getting up, Ranma looked at the three irate girls. "What was
that for?!"
"It's obvious, Ranma." Akane started.
"Airen use water from Spring of Drowned Twins, creating boy-Airen and
girl-Airen."
"After which the girl Ranchan will be named 'Ranko'."
"Who, being your dream girl, you will then marry."
"Where did you come up with such a messed up idea?! Just why would I
even want to marry myself?" Ranma couldn't believe how the girls were
acting. The more he heard them, the more he realized that it was for
the better that he didn't choose any of them.
"You look stressed out, Ranma-chan"
Hearing the new voice, the girls turned to see a blue-haired girl that
was around their age. Her movement gave away the fact that she was a
martial artist and possibly a good one.
"Who you?" Shampoo asked. The other girl seemed familiar, even Amazon-
like. She just looked back at Shampoo and smiled.
"Cologne-chan!" Ranma shouted out as he ran to hug the girl.
"Wha.."
"Cologne?!"
"Great-grandmother?!"
Ranma looked back at them as if they were crazy. "Of course. I mean,
she knows more martial arts than any of us, even Happosai. She'll know
when I need to be disciplined. Plus, she is cute." Ranma blushed
after saying the last bit.
"Great-grandmother, why?"
"None of you girls seemed to be getting any closer to him. One day he
came to the Nekohanten and asked for my help in improving his martial
arts. After that I usually helped him out at night. As time went on,
we got to know more about each other. Ranma started to see me as the
mother he couldn't have. And I started to fall in love with him. It
came to the point where I was willing to give up being matriarch just
to be with him."
"But how you become young? Spring of Drowned Girl no work that way."
"It was a process that involved things that I don't want Ranma-chan to
hear. I'll just say that it involved us being naked. I did ease the
pain for him as much as I could and after it was over I erased any
knowledge he had of it."
The three girls just stared at Ranma, all of them speechless.
"I guess that's all. Nothing else to say. I'm... well I'm sorry if
any of you are disappointed. And.... have a nice life!"
With that, Ranma and Cologne ran off into the sunset, both holding
hands.
Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou watched as the two lovebirds ran off. And
they stood, motionless and still in complete disbelief. This continued
as the wind blew their hair around and went on as day became night.
Only when the crickets started to chirp were all three able to express
any sort of reaction.
"RANMA NO BAKA!"
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I think this is about the right time to send this fic. Then again,
maybe not ^_^