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Written by: Sean Larson, sean@gropple.com Link:
http://www.gropple.com/AniWeb/pfear.shtml
This fic is based upon stories whose rights are owned by people other than
me. I make no claim to ownership of any characters in this story, unless I
create them, which I have not done yet. Okay, now for the overview. This
is a worlds collide type of fic, I am doing an Evangelion/Dual! X-over.
There will be spoilers for Dual for sure, but none in this chapter. As far
as time line goes, the Evangelion side of things is a bit after Asuka
arrives, about the time that the next angel should be attacking, but that
has been replaced by the happenings of this fic. As always C&C are
appreciated. If this fic sounds vaguely familiar, then you read my original
posting of this chapter from December, I didn't like that one, so I re-wrote
it, you'll agree, it is MUCH better than before. And that concludes this
little introduction, on with the fanfic!
Parallel Fears
Chapter One: Fallen Angel
Shinji's eyes cautiously grazed the horizon as his mind journeyed farther
away than he had ever been. Why do the things that happen have to involve
him? He was perfectly content in his old school. Why had his father
brought him here? Why had he brought him into this strange life? Piloting
robots, fighting aliens, why is this happening to someone so young, so
innocent? There are days, days just like this, where Shinji fears he may
lose control. He has continued on this far for one reason. But what was
that reason? He tells himself that it is to protect the women. Rei, Asuka,
Misato, Ritsuko, they need him. Is that really the reason? It could be the
praise that he seeks from his father. Why would I ever seek praise from
him? He abandoned me, he gave me nothing.
Shinji felt a small wet drop hit his hands, which since had been supporting
his chin. It must be starting to rain he thought to himself. On closer
inspection, it was not a drop of rain at all, in fact, it was not even
water. Blood. Shinji froze, blood stirred up so many emotions in him. To
him blood signified pain, death, and fear. It was the inside of the Eva
that reminded him of blood. It smelled like blood, the fluid they filled
his entry plug with felt like blood. His vision blurred with a vicious
cycle of thoughts that had begun to stream through his mind. As Shinji
slowly collapsed backwards, his vision grew red as tears of blood flowed
down his cheeks. The pain, the death, the Fear. His fears, they were
finally catching up to him.
Shinji's dreams came to him in waves of colors that washed over his souls,
washing away traces of fear, replacing it with new sensations. Compassion,
the bright red waves gave way to Asuka. He felt compassion for someone who
had been hurt so much, how else could someone become that outwardly hostile.
In a way, he recognized that same pain in himself, he and Asuka were more
alike than she wanted to admit. He never really thought of it before, but
it was Asuka that shared his fears, he realized this when they both were in
the Eva when he first met her. There was something that happened inside the
Eva, he didn't even realize it at first. The Eva helped them share their
memories, share their fears, and it helped connect them.
The wave subsided, washing out away from Shinji in a spectacular array of
deep blood red, shades of natural flame, colors of a fall sunset. Shinji
relaxed, maybe this dream was over and he could finally wake up. The waves
returned with a gentle motion. The wave jolted him back into his dream, the
colors washed over him again, this time in the shades of the sea. The blue
seawater waves rolled over Shinji in waves of serenity. Rei, there was
something special about Rei. Shinji knew that Rei needed to be protected,
from what, he still needed to know.
The waves subsided again, this time leaving Shinji is complete darkness. It
was a cold, transparent darkness. He could see shapes moving, but it was too
dark to tell what they were. The darkness clung to Shinji, but what scared
him mire was the smell, it smelled like blood.
Ritsuko was getting her morning coffee when the system alert happened. At
first she thought it might be the Seventh Angel, but the alert wasn't an
attack alert. Commander Ikari had each child implanted with a monitoring
device, unbeknownst to them, to keep track of the children outside of the
base. The alert was that one of the children was in trouble. She ran up to
the control room, her coffee cup reached the floor as she rounded the
corner. The ceramic shattered with a deafening shriek as the hot liquid
danced across the cold cement floor. The main display in the control room
showed vital signs that were rapidly fluctuating. Just the sight of such
randomness in a person's vital functions was enough to make any doctor
faint, but when Ritsuko and Misato saw who's vitals were being displayed,
they each felt a heavy hand clutch at their heart a tear at the very fabric
of their souls. Commander Ikari's eyes each shed a single tear that rolled
down his cheeks and dripped silently onto his desk.
In the haze of Shinji's darkness he saw two things. The first was the
helicopters that were swooping in above him, they carried frantic workers
that were rushing towards Shinji. The second thing he saw was the robot.
It wasn't an Eva unit, it looked more mechanical, and this one was gray; its
face was more like that of a machine, whereas the Evas looked almost like
animals. "Genmu," Shinji heard the words, and it took him a while to
realize that it was he who had spoken them. How he knew the name of it he
did not know. His vision kept blurring the darkness that enveloped him. He
felt the workers lift him up and start carrying him towards the whipping
winds sent forth from the spinning blades of the choppers. Then he felt
nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing. He was gone, back into the darkness
that helped hide the pain, he knew that something had happened to him, and
that he might not survive it.
Gendo Ikari stood on the helipad, the reflection of his glasses showed the
helicopters that were escorting Shinji to the base. His eyes cheeks were no
longer streaked with tears. As the helicopter containing Shinji settled down
on the pad, he called out to the medical officer attending to him, "What is
the boy's condition?" The medical officer, shocked to see the Commander
above ground, replied, "His vitals are still fluctuating rapidly, but he is
stabilizing." With that, Gendo turned around a proceeded back inside NERV
Headquarters. The medical officer, momentarily stunned at what he just
witnessed, shook off his bewilderment and proceeded to prep Shinji for
landing and departure. The chopper gently settled on the helipad with a
soft wind. The medical workers swiftly rushed Shinji down into the heart of
NERV headquarters, where doctors were waiting to engulf him in a protective
shield of white lab coats.
Ritsuko found sanctuary working on the Magi. Working here, among the
machines her mother helped create calmed her, without this connection she
often felt that she'd go mad. She relieved the bridge officer on duty and
sat down at the console. Remembering that she still didn't have her coffee
yet, she started to get up. Suddenly the console screen went blank.
Ritsuko tried to bring back up the status screen, to no avail, then a single
line appeared on the screen:
"Output from Balthazar: New dimension found, process threads switched to
investigate."
The screen flickered back to the status screen. When Ritsuko examined the
screen, it shows that the link between Balthazar and the other Magi had been
shut off. Dumbfounded as to how the system could keep operating without the
complete link between all three Magi, she tried to execute a diagnosis
program. It ran fine until it reached Balthazar, when the diagnosis program
tried to query Balthazar, it received no response. Ritsuko was clueless as
to what was going on. She resolved that this is going to require some heavy
investigation. With the Shinji in the condition that he was, she avoided
telling the commander. She called the bridge officer on duty back to her
workstation, "I want you to monitor the system for any changes. If you see
anything change, anything, call me at once. I'll be in my quarters studying
my mother's notes." The bridge officer acknowledged and assumed her seat.
"And," Ritsuko added, "Don't tell the commander anything about this, he has
enough to worry about right now."
"This is not in any of the predictions Ikari." The voice seemed to boom out
of nowhere, but Gendo knew that it was from the chairman of SEELE. The huge
obelisks circled him ominously. He looked up at the obelisk in front of
him, the deep red number '01' reflecting in his glasses. "It may not be
part of the predictions. I don't think this has anything to do with the
Angels," Gendo stated. The dark room hung in silence until another voice
spoke. "If it isn't the Angels, what is it then? We don't have time to
deal with complications that are not part of the Human Instrumentality
Project." This voice sounded younger, more nervous than the chairman.
Gendo lowered his white-gloved hands and looked around the room. Taking
time to fully examine each obelisk, he turned to the one labeled '04'. "If
there is one thing that I am certain of," Gendo stated, "It is that this is
not an Angel attack. If an Angel were to affect the Third Child in this
manner, then we would be looking at the Third Impact by now. This is
something different, something bigger." The chairman's voice boomed across
the room, "We need to focus on the Human Instrumentality Project, that is
your job, Ikari. There are to be no delays." Gendo steepled his fingers
again before turning to the obelisk, his eyes cut through the reflection of
his glasses in a way that it may seem that he could see through the obelisk
and into the soul of anyone who was represented by it. "I believe that this
may be more important than even the Human Instrumentality Project. We will
keep a look-out for any Angel attacks, but something tells me we won't have
any Angel attacks until after we have discovered the source of this."
Another voice off to the side of the room asked, "What do the Magi say of
this?" Gendo replied, "I have not received any reports from the Magi yet,
but I will check with Dr. Akagi." The lights dimmed in the room and the
obelisks went dark. Gendo stood up, surveying the room, then slowly turned
and walked towards the door. "Gendo," a voice from the obelisk labeled '03'
spoke, "I will support you in this endeavor, but be warned, to SEELE, the
Human Instrumentality Project comes above all else, even the life of your
son." Gendo, without turning around replied, "I am only worried about
losing a pilot for Unit 01, there have been no children yet that have been
able to achieve a synchronization rating as high as Shinji." Gendo
proceeded out the door, letting the obelisk to sit there in silence, then
fading slowly into the darkness from which it berthed.
Auska stood at the end of a hallway, staring down the long corridor at the
open door to Shinji's room, several doctors were shuffling around inside.
Her eyes filled with water. "Stop it Auska!" She yelled at her self.
"Pull yourself together, you have to be ready in case of an Angel attack.
He'll be fine, they'll take care of him; they have to. They have to,
because... because..." She stopped short as Misato came around the corner.
"How is he? How's Shinji doing?," she asked. "I... I don't know. They
won't let anyone near him," she replied. "We'll see about that," Misato
stated. With that, she stormed down the hallway to the open door, then two
NERV officers appeared before her. "I'm sorry Katsuragi, we have strict
orders that only medical personnel are to be in contact with the Third Child
right now. The commander, himself, isn't even allowed in here right now,"
The NERV officer stated. "whose order?" asked Misato. The other officer
replied, "The commander's. He doesn't want any interference with the
doctors' analysis. I'd suggest that you take up any inquiries with the
commander before trying to pursue this any further." Misato just stood
there, staring at the two NERV officers. Something was very amiss. Why had
the commander told them not even let him in? Did it have to do with
Shinji's condition? Was he infected with something? Surely the doctors
would be more cautious with him if had had some sort of infection. A doctor
passed by the open door, and upon seeing Misato standing there with the
guards, shut the door promptly. Misato turned around and headed back
through the hallway. She grabbed Asuka by the wrist and started dragging
her after her. "C'mon, we're going to find somebody to answer my
questions," she said.
Ritsuko sat in a dark room; the only light came from a reading lamp hung
above the desk she was at. Notebooks, scraps of paper, books, and pamphlets
cluttered the desk as she franticly read through each page looking for an
answer. She at least knew part of the question, "How was this possible?"
Somewhere in her mother's note must lay the answer. It had to be in there,
somewhere. Balthazar had disconnected itself from the other two Magi and
was operating at full processing power. Normally the Magi operate at a
third capacity, utilizing the data input from the other two to create an
accurate and complete analysis. The system was designed to operate
together, no single system had control over the other two Magi. How had
Balthazar done this. The system was drawing more power constantly, if she
didn't figure this out soon, the commander would notice that something was
definitely wrong. There, could that be the answer? Balthazar was coded
last, and her mother had included an extra process for active investigation.
If Balthazar had found an event that required the full processing power, it
could devote all its cycles to the investigation of that event. This only
happens if the event is undetectable by the other two systems, and therefore
Balthazar could not obtain any other data from the Magi, and would need the
full processing power to decode it. Somehow it was able to execute this
function and remove itself from the cycle the Magi were using. "Dr. Akagi,"
a vidscreen with the commander flickered on, "Your presence is requested in
the conference room. And don't forget to bring your report on the current
state of the Magi system. I have a feeling that the incident with Shinji
and the paradox that the Magi system is having are somehow connected." The
vidscreen flicked off with a succinctness that could only be taken that
Commander Ikari meant business. This was very serious. Though, how did the
commander find out about the problem? Ritsuko really didn't think that one
of her bridge officers maintaining the Magi system would have gone against
her telling the commander. How did he find out? Who told him?
The conference room was cold, dark, and remarkably empty feeling for being
so small. Fitkisugi stood behind Commander Ikari. The two men shared an
emotionless stare that told everyone in the room that this was no simple
meeting. Misato stared across the table at Asuka. She was maintaining her
composure quite well. For only being at NERV for three weeks, Asuka had
become quite attached to Shinji. Of course, Asuka didn't exactly show how
much she cared for Shinji. Asuka was always one to point out that she was
tough as nails. Asuka was never the one to show any warmth. However,
Misato saw the way that Asuka looked at Shinji, at least when she thought
that no one was looking. Misato knew the Asuka had a thing for Shinji, maybe
she'd even be strong enough to admit it.
Rei knew that something very powerful happened to Shinji. She could tell by
the look in Gendo's eyes; he is nervous. Rei has never seen Gendo nervous.
There was something calming about his emotion, yet it scared her to death.
Gendo began to explain the situation. The room was silent as he spoke.
"Shinji Ikari is in stable condition. However, we still do not know what
caused his reaction. I have confirmed that this is not an Angel attack, it
is too inconsistent with their strategies. I am asking that all members of
NERV stay in headquarters until further notice. We will provide
accommodations for everyone. There are to be no NERV personnel to go
outside of headquarters for at least the next 72 hours. There have been
other instances of unusual behavior in the Magi as well. Dr. Katsuragi,
would you please brief the rest of us on Balthazar?" Ritsuko stood up and
walked over to a large view screen. "The Magi system is designed to use the
three main computers to share their processes to speed up calculations and
predictions. Each system plays a vital role in this process, no single
computer can take over the Magi system. However, it appears that the
Balthazar system has the ability to separate itself from the other two
Magi." The view screen showed a status screen of the Magi where no
information flowed through Balthazar, the other two Magi had created a
direct connection for sharing their data. Balthazar was not sending any
data, it was stuck in a calculation and was consuming all processor time.
Ritsuko continued, "After going through my mother's notes, I found out that
this separation was programmed in to allow Balthazar to run calculations of
phenomenon that the other two Magi are unable to detect. The question at
hand is, 'What triggered this separation?' We have no way of communicating
with Balthazar until it has finished its calculations." "Ritsuko," Misato
joined into the discussion, "can we query the other two Magi about the
output from Balthazar, and they may be able to tell us what it is that
triggered it, even if they can't detect it."
"Ritsuko, Misato," Gendo ordered, "I want both of you to work on querying
the Magi. As for the rest of you, I am confining you to the base. The
material discussed in this room is to stay in this room, do not discuss this
with anyone else in the base."
With that said, Gendo stood up, his work here was finished, they knew less
than he had hoped. Maybe Shinji might be able to answer some of his
questions. Gendo and the rest of the adults left the room, leaving Rei and
Asuka sitting next to each other in silence. The dark emptiness of the room
reflected their sorrow; looking for hope, after the meeting, all they were
left with were more questions. Asuka quietly whispered to Rei, "He'll be
okay, won't he." Rei just sat there for moment, it was really only a few
seconds, but it seemed like an eternity to Asuka. Finally, Rei stood up,
and as she was heading towards the door, she turned back towards Asuka and
told her, "A fallen angel can rise again, if it alone believes that there
will be those that can bear its weight on their own wings. There must be
those willing to bear that pain, and rise the angel out of the fallen lands
to where it belongs." Asuka sat there silently as Rei walked out of the
room, leaving Asuka in the emptiness of the silence. As she sat there, a
small green leaf floated down upon the desk. Strange, she thought to
herself, it must have blown in through one of the ventilation shafts.
However, there are no trees with leaves like these in Tokyo-3. In fact,
remembering some of her studies in botany, there are no trees with leave
like these at all. What was this? She picked it up and walked out of the
room. Maybe Ritsuko or Misato might know.