Shows  why inbreeding should be banned.  :)

To Have Pepperoni or Mushroom?

<snip>

Narrator: The scene takes place in a university dorm room in Japan.

Here, we encounter a young man of 18, who is spouting senseless words

that he calls poetry.  Soon, hunger will strike.

A small demon wearing a name tag reading Hunger pulls out a small wooden
sword that slightly resembles a 18th centruy sword from Europe and waves it
at Kuno.

Kuno: Blah, blah, blah^� blah, blah, blah^�

(stomach groans)

The little demon hits Kuno right on his head.  Oddly enough the demon hit
him hard enough to break the sword yet Kuno still stands there looking as
stupid as ever.

Kuno: Heaven^�s forth, what is this I say?  This beast of hunger in me is

in need of sustenance!

The demon reaches into a large bag and ruffles around for another weapon.

(Kuno opens a small refrigerator, labeled as ^�Thy Royal Pantry^�, and

finds out there^�s no food)

Yea there is no food the demon took that already.

Kuno: Zounds!  Thy pantry hath been cleared out by filthy demons of

Hunger!

:P

Narrator: Then Kuno ruffles in his pocket.  He finds a coupon for Aimo^�s

Pizza.  Hey, it^�s a deal!  Get a mushroom or pepperoni pizza for 560 yen!

 What a steal for a meal!  Ahem^�

Kuno: Zounds! It^�s a pizza deal!  It^�s a mushroom or pepperoni pizza

deal!

Narrator: Duh.

Kuno: (In thought) What shall I have, the mushroom pizza, or the

pepperoni pizza?  While the mushroom is as complex in my palate and the

pepperoni a feast for the meat-lovers eyes, I must choose either one.

This valuable pizza deal, brought by the blessings of the gods, tells me

I must choose either one.  Should I choose the exotic, cheesy mushroom

pizza?  Or should I choose the rich, meaty pepperoni pizza to satisfy my

lusty hungers?  Hmmm^� what shall I choose^�

The Hunger Demon finds a large lead pipe and starts paceing around Kuno
around as he thinks about what pizza he wants.

(knock^� knock^� knock^�)

Kuno: Gods damn you!  Who is thy man that dares to interrupt mine

thoughts!?

The demon chuckles to itself thinking "Don't you need a brain to have
thoughts?"

Ranma: A^� yo^� it^�s me^� Ranma^�

Saotome Ranma missed seeing the little demon.  To bad the demon has a
meeting with him at 8:00pm.

Narrator: Ranma enters Kuno^�s ^�lair^�.

Ranma: What^�s up man?

Kuno: Ye gods!  For what purpose hast thou intrude in my abode and hath

interrupted my thinking?

The little demon starts laughing again.  This kid was funny, he made no
effort to even act normal.  And he seemed to enjoy confusing people with his
speach.  The Demon felt sorry for poor Ranma.

Ranma: ^�uh^�

Kuno: Speak, knave!

Ranma: Uh^� yeah^� I left my bag yesterday from playing poker^�

Why would Kuno play Poker with Ranma?

Kuno: Ah^� that pathetic game you call poker^� no doubt you hath cheated^�

Ranma: Hey^� I did not^�

Kuno:  Foul Sorcerer I shall Smite Thee!!!

Kuno: (interrupts) Silence knave, your bag and provisions are sitting on

my couch.  Retrieve them.

Ranma: Uh^� okay, whatever^� geez^�

Narrator: Ranma grabs his stuff and heads toward the door.

Kuno: Wait!  Stand thy ground peasant!

Ranma: Geez!  What is it this time!?  I told you, I don^�t know^�

Kuno: (interrupts) Silence cur!  Wait ^�til I ask the question!

Ranma: Whatever^� shoot.

Kuno: Tell me Ranma, would thou choose the exotic mushroom pizza, or the

lusty, meaty pepperoni pizza?

The demon starts laughing as it sticks a Pizza Coupon in Ranma's bag.  This
one would make up its mind easy.  It would get both.

Ranma: Hmm^� gee^� I dunno^� I guess the mushroom pizza.  I mean, I love the

cheese on the pizza, and the meat somehow don^�t taste that good with

cheese.  If I wanted meat, I^�d get a beef pot^� but also, I like

mushrooms, they taste pretty good, and probably taste well with other^�

Kuno: (interrupts, again) Thank you sir!  Away!  Away from my manor,

away!

Kuno: When thou doth get to the gate Away some more Away I say.  Would thou
go away with a Fox?  Or would thou go away with a Box?

Ranma: Geez^� fine^� goodbye^�

Ranma: What a baka!

(Door slams shut)

Kuno: This peasant advises me to purchase the delicate mushroom pizza.

Should I trust him?  Perhaps he may be right, perhaps he may be wrong.

But I must decide on one final conclusion^�  The mushroom, or the

pepperoni?  I have such cravings for that wondrous, foreign pastry, but

yet I have to choose betwixt either of the toppings!  Oh^� inhuman beast

of Hunger and Temptation!  If thou were a real demon, I shall smite thee

with my blade of Justice!  I will^�

The demon stands behind Kuno and perpares to whack him in the head when.

(window smash)

Kuno: fix the window that twisted sister of mine hath broke^�

Kodachi: Oh ho ho ho ho!  My dear brother, I^�m here to cease your

incessant rantings.  Nearly half the university can hear you, you know.

Kuno: Watch thy tongue sister, I^�ll not put up with your insults.

Kodachi: Whatever brother dear, seeing there^�s no problem, off I go!

(Kodachi tries to exit, but hears her brother whine)

Kuno: (whining) Alas!  I cannot choose!

Kodachi: What^�s the matter brother?

Kuno: Leave me with my thoughts alone sister, it is something that needs

to be done.

Kodachi: What is it brother?

Kuno: Kodachi, I request thy opinion, would thou purchase the mushroom

pizza or the pepperoni?

Kodachi: Hmmm^� let me see^�

Kuno: Quickly answer!  Time is of the essence!

Kodachi: Well, bleh, I hate mushrooms, they^�re so bland.  I would choose

the pepperoni.  Why, it is a delicious meat.  I like to sink my teeth on

that juicy, tender, crispy, salty, meat like I like to sink my teeth on

my beloved Ranma^�s flesh, hot, steaming^� oh, I forgot!  I must win the

heart of my beloved Ranma!  Farewell, brother dear!  Oh Ranma, I^�m coming

for you!^�

(Door slams shut.  For a while, a scream of horror can be heard.)

Narrator: Ouch.

Kuno: No doubt that^�s my sister trying to seduce that cur^�

Kuno: On with subject.  My twisted sister advises the pepperoni against

the mushroom.  But I want something different.  I wouldst eat the

mushroom to satisfy my foreign desires, but there^�s something else, I

crave the pepperoni!  I must also satisfy my meaty desires!  But which?

Oh how temptation is wrought upon me^�  I CANNOT DECIDE!  I MUST HAVE THEM

BOTH!

The demon takes a swing with its trusty lead pipe hitting Kuno hard enought
to cause a welp to form on his thick head but still did not manage to knock
him out.

Narrator: Hey idiot^�

Kuno: moi?

Narrator: No the other Idiot standing next to you.

Narrator: Yeah you^�

Kuno: You send for me?

Narrator: Yep^� let me say this, you are to choose one, and only one!  Can

you not get that?

Kuno: But I can^�t!  I cannot choose!  The pepperoni or the mushroom, I

cannot decide!  I can^�t stand this!  Arrrgh!

(Kuno tears the ^�uh^� coupon)

Narrator: Well, that was a waste of good pizza deals^�

Kuno: (keeps on tearing) Arrrgh!  Evil coupon!  Thou art the Demon of

Temptation and Hunger in disguise!  Take that, and that, and that, and

that!  HA!  I have smitten thee!

Narrator: Kuno looks around exhausted and confused.  His stomach growls

again.

The Demon starts screaming as it pleads with its master for permission to
leave this stupid kid.  Saddly its masters say it has to knock him out with
Hunger first.

Kuno: Now what^�s for lunch^�

<Snippy>

*********************

Hi guys!  DJGeek here?

you're wonderin' why the mushroom or pepperoni?  How about sausage?

Well, I got this idea from Creative Writing class, and got a weird

idea...

Now that I'm done with it, I can get back to playing Baldur's Gate 2~!!!!

*************************************************************************Creative

Writing Class?  Cool.  I just had to add my 2 cents in A great little spam

fic though.

Robert

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