This is funny.
I just noticed you posting this and I've been writng an
posting a BGC X-men fic (as I write it with no editing so far) in the BGC
newsgroup.
I'm only using the X-idea of "Days of future past" time tripping as
opposed to any actually "X-menish" mutant ideas.
Now I'll have make sure I actually have chapeters 1 and 2
Now Some C&C (and this is just a snippet of things that stood out.
Story-wise (and this could be my news-reader) the formatting seems a bit
off which makes reading somewhat awkward..but again that could be me.
Daley seems a little "flighty" in his characterization...which is a
little OOC. Yes, he is gay but he's a bit more afeminate than her should
be.
An example of this is here::::::::::::::;
"What happened, dear?" Daley asked tenderly. If only he was
straight,
Leon
thought.
::::::::::::::::::::::
That's how my brouser is seeing the text as well.
This seems like an odd thing for Leon to be thinking.
If Leon was a woman then the "all the good ones are taken of gay."
attitude might make a litte more sense.
if it's some sort of homophobic responce then I don't think it would be in
Leon's head either. If Leon thought like that one of the two would have
requested a new partner long ago.
I would say that all in all the formatting seems to be may major beef
here. and, as I said I'm not sure if it's at my end or not.
Check out your own post and see what you think.
Is Erik the ADP guy from the ADP Police series?
Neil
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Seraphim, the Restless Angel with a (borrowed) sword.
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Nene, Ami,
Girls with glasses. girls with computers. Pink hair. blue hair
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Robyn, Duke of Amber. Agent of Chaos.
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