Here's chapter three of Baka Yaro. I ran it through a
spelling and grammar checker beforehand so it should
be a lot better than chapter two was. Out of all the
chapters for Baka Yaro, this one is the shortest at a
pathetic 15K. Oh well. At least we get to see some
cool stuff in this one, like the introduction of some
new characters and plot devices. As before:
PLEASE C&C THIS FIC!!!!!
PLEASE C&C THIS FIC!!!!!
PLEASE C&C THIS FIC!!!!!
PLEASE C&C THIS FIC!!!!!
PLEASE C&C THIS FIC!!!!!
Pathetic wretch aren't I?
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Ryo Muhoshida --- the perverted artist/writer of Fallout Studios. If you love me, you'll go to http://www.falloutstudios.cjb.net
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: baka03.txt
-- Desc: baka03.txt
Script for Baka Yaro (Semi-final Version)
Written by M. Steven Marquez Jr. and Robert G. Cunningham
aka. Ryo Muhoshida and Kenji Miyazawa
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Standard Disclaimer: Baka Yaro and all characters are (c)1997-2001 Fallout Studios. Any reproduction of this without proper consent is prohibited. In other words, don't use this without asking or you'll be picking your teeth out of your ball-sack.
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New Characters:
Hiryu Lee- [fa:c3][continuing]
Shin's psychotic rival who uses elaborate revenge schemes he finds in books. He's a classic villain who tries his best to be cool but is always undermined by someone. He is a red belt judo master and commander of the Diamondback gang. He also runs a judo dojo across from Shin's karate dojo. He is quick to anger and easy to trick. His hatred for Shin stems from a childhood fight in which he was beaten by Shin. If one pulls his bangs back, it is apparent that Lee has a large forehead.
Mr. T (aka. Tsutsujigasaki-san)- [fa:c3][la:c3 unknown status]
A mysterious man who funds the Campus Police Force. He enlists Tatchi as the new Police Chief. Nothing is known about him except that he's ridiculously wealthy, and has a long, hard-to-say name.
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When we last left our hero...no wait that sounds stupid. How about, Shin is running for his life. No...I know! This sounds real professional too.
LAST TIME: Shin Hideoshi was last seen fleeing in terror from a group of admirers with Azusa Kyosuke in his arms. Tatchi Kotobuki has set out to maim Ryo Muhoshida for the insults about his manhood. As for Kirin, he's probably getting high off of Twinkies and other Hostess products. And Kenzan can stick an umbrella up his rectum for all I care. We take you now to the third installment of Baka Yaro. There, now that wasn't too bad, was it?
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Chapter 3- Fast Break on Two Fronts
Shin is still running. He isn't scared, mind you. Just getting some exercise, not that he needs it. That is what Shin Hideoshi, the 16-year-old blackbelt karate master is telling himself. It isn't helping his current situation one bit.
The high school girls are behind him like a wild mob. Shin had seen them from far off and with his speed, he could easily evade them. However, the added weight of Azusa has slowed him down enough to keep him within the girls' sight.
Shin: Why me? I didn't ask for this.
Azusa: Uhh
Shin: Are you okay?
Azusa: Why are you carrying me?
Shin blushes and leaps onto a roof, where he sets the girl down.
Shin: Lost 'em.
Azusa: What was that about?.
Shin: Uh...
In the distance, the school bell rings.
Shin: Shit! Now I'm gonna be late!
Azusa: It's no big deal.
Shin: (whining) But I have a duel. I gotta show up today.
Azusa: You fight enough as it is.
Shin: It's a matter of honor.
Shin clenches his fist and stands in a dramatic pose while babbling about the importance of honor to a man. As he turns back to her, a gust of wind blows up her skirt; revealing a pair of silk panties.
Shin: (turning to face her) So you see why I must...guh guh guh.
Blood shoots out of Shin's nose and he falls over backwards off the roof. Azusa looks down at Shin, bewildered at his behavior. When she sees why he passed out, she blushes a deep crimson and pushes her skirt back down.
Azusa: Eeep!
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Ryo is running as well. He wished he had women chasing him. Instead, he had a Chinese guy who looked like a girl. That didn't count in his book. He hated cross-dressers.
Tatchi is yelling like a madman with his sword drawn and ready to kill the pervert. That is, as soon as he caught him.
Tatchi: Come back here you! Face your punishment like a man!
Ryo: Catch me if you can Okama!
Girls: Wait up Kotobuki-sama!
Tatchi: Justice cannot wait!
As soon as he hears the girls, Ryo screeches to a halt and backpedals towards them, totally oblivious to the fact that Tatchi is there.
Ryo: Heh heh heh.
Tatchi: Pervert! Now you die.
Tatchi charges at Ryo ready to run him through. Instead, Ryo flips over him, handing the longhaired swordsman a grenade in the process. Tatchi's eye twitches involuntarily.
Tatchi: Shit
That is all he got out when the grenade went off, leaving him unconscious in a crater. Ryo keeps going towards the girls who have just now seen their knight fall at the hands of the pervert. They all draw their large, pissed anime-babe hammers. With a scream of "PERVERT!" Ryo is sent on a tour of Saturn courtesy of Hammer Airways.
The girls return their hammers to Hammerspace(tm) and rush to check on the fallen swordsman who is still blackened like a piece of burnt toast. He twitches slightly.
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Kirin is standing at the local Quick Stop mini-mart, and he is pissed, they had the nerve to run out of Sno-balls! How such a place stayed in business was quite beyond the wrestler. He was engaged in a heated discussion with the clerk.
Kirin: Kirin thinks that he is going to leave this damned store and go rent a video at the nearby RST video. Maybe they'll have Kirin's precious Sno-balls.
Clerk: Fine. I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Kirin grabs the clerk's collar and reads off his nametag.
Kirin: Shut thy mouth... Dan--te. By the way, what is it that smells like shoe polish here?
Dante: It's a long story.
Kirin walks outside, past the longhaired blonde guy smoking weed and the quiet guy in the trench coat to the video store. Just as he walks to the door a lady storms out of the video store. The clerk pokes his head out of the door.
Clerk2: Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!
Blonde guy: Yeeah!!
Kirin enters the building just as the clerk is placing an order to the video company. As he is about halfway through the list, Ryo is at the window, listening to the names of the videos and panting.
Kirin: What the hell kind of video store is this?
Clerk2: What do you want?
Kirin: Who are you to speak thusly to the great Kirin?
Clerk2: Name's Randall. I'm closing in a minute, so make it quick.
Kirin rents a couple of wrestling videos and walks out, with Randall at his heels. Randall locks the door to the video store and immediately heads to the Quick Stop.
Randall: (To the two standing at the building) Hey! What's up Jay and Silent Bob?
Randall disappears into the Quick Stop. Kirin walks off as well. Ryo runs by, followed by Tatchi, swinging his sword.
Jay: Hey! What's up guys! Nice sword! How do you like that, Silent Bob? Those cock smokers didn't even look at us!
Silent Bob: ...
NOTE: If there's one thing we do, with all of our faults, we call a spade a spade, and we give credit where credit's due. The characters in that last scene were straight out of an incredibly funny movie called "Clerks" by Kevin Smith. We recommend you rent this movie immediately, or you'll be picking your teeth out of my boot.
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Azusa stops to catch her breath. Thanks to the little detour she and Shin took, she was terribly late for school. She felt bad for leaving Shin behind, but she couldn't cary him and she couldn't very well be late for class.
Azusa: I wonder what excuse I should use?
Of course, knowing the other girls were jealous of her for living so close to their beloved Shin-sama, she figured they had told the teacher some sort of lie about her making out with a boy. Sure, she thought he was cute, but he wasn't her type at all. He was a barbaric, fight-loving jock for Kami's sake.
Azusa: Why do all the girls want him so badly anyways?
She looks around again and remembers the challenge letter Shin had recieved.
Azusa: What was that all about? He seems to have a past that won't lay down. I wonder what he's gone through.
She begins running to class again. She passes by two students dressed in judo uniforms who suddenly turn to look at her. She stops turns in time to see the punks charge at her. Just before they reach her, another boy jumps in their path and dispatches the first punk with a punch to the face. He turns to the other and knocks him out with a simple jumpkick. Azusa looks up at the boy who saved her. He is wearing dirty clothes that resemble a construction worker's, a tool belt, and a hat that hides much of his face from view. He nods to her and wordlessly leaps away over a wall and out of sight.
Azusa: Who was that?
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Shin pauses to take a break from his running. After waking up ten minutes earlier with a terrible headache, he began to run to the school. Now, at 11:06 AM, he pauses to reread the letter.
Hideoshi:
This is a formal challenge and threat
to your life for all of the vile things you
have done to me. If you are half the man
that the women think you are, you will
meet me at the northwest clock tower at
exactly 1:32 PM to face your doom.
Sincerely,
The God of Judo
Lee Hiryu
Shin rolls his eyes and crumples up the page before leaping off again in search of his foe, leaving the crumpled paper behind.
Shin: *Lee Hiryu. Another guy from the past that I pissed off. Is it my fualt that he's such a weirdo that is obsesed with revenge. I don't see why everyone is out to kill me. Dammit all!*
He looks around the school from his vantage point on a rooftop. The school has hundreds of clocktowers. Four to a building. Shin grimaces.
Shin: Which one is the northwest clocktower? This is gonna take forever.
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At the Kyosuke Dojo, Hiroshi is trying to stand after the hard hit he recieved from his opponent. Kyo motions for the boy to attack again. Hiroshi complies and charges. His punch is blocked and he is kicked again. This time, he hits the floor and bounces into the wall. He slaps the floor with his hand in defeat. Kenzan smiles.
Kyo: I figured you could beat him. He's been able to take on the others himself. Though he takes them only when they are tired and are fighting amongst themselves.
Kenzan: The best time to fight superior opponents is to wait until they are focused on eachother. Hideoshi sensei taught me that one.
Kyo: Yes. Shingen taught you very fine karate. He and I have a slightly different approach to teaching though. The master taught us both half of his techniques. I know one and Shingen knows the other.
Kenzan: You and Hideoshi sensei were partners under one master?
Kyo: Yes. We studied under a powerful and demented master. He was cruel and heatless yet he taught us a great deal.
Kenzan: Anything really impressive?
Kyo: Hmm. I suppose I can show you a thing or too since you're a student. Here.
Kyo pokes a spot on Kenzan's chest. Kenzan looks down at the spot and blinks.
Kenzan: What did that do?
Kyo: (laughing) Oh you'll see.
Kenzan: See what? Nothing is...
Kenzan looks down to see that he has just wet his pants. He starts to laugh.
Kenzan: I see. Is that Shiatsu?
Kyo: Indeed. I also have one that will make your bowels loosen completly. Care for a demonstration?
Kenzan: No! No thank you sensei. I'd rather not.
Kyo: Why don't you get changed. You don't want any girls to see you like that.
Kenzan turns red and dashes off to the house as quickly as he can. Kyo smiles.
Kyo: *Heh. I can do far better than a cheap trick like that.*
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It is Lunchtime when Tatchi finally regains conciousness. He finds himself in a room full of samurai statues, complete with armor and weapons. He sits up and looks for any sign of who rescued him.
Tatchi: Who brought me here?
Voice: I had you brought here.
Tatchi jumps at the sudden voice. He draws his sheathed sword and scans the room for a trace of the voice's owner. He finds that the voice seems to be comming from a statue at the end of the room.
Voice: I brought you here to help you defeat the evil in this school.
Tatchi: You sound evil yourself. Who are you?
Voice: I am the one who funds the school's Campus Police Force. You may call me Tsutsujigasaki-san.
Tatchi: That's a long name. I don't think I can even say it, let alone remeber it.
Voice: How about you call me Mr. T?
Tatchi: I can do that.
Mr. T: Good. The previous leader of the CP was injured in the line of duty and we need a replacement.
Tatchi: And you want me right?
Mr. T: You catch on quick boy. What do you say? You'll have 50 men under your command to help you. Along with unlimited funds, as long as you keep the school safe.
Tatchi: Heh. I know of one deliquent already. I'll do it.
Mr. T: A wise choice my boy. Take this. It will signify you as the leader of the CP.
An armband falls from somewhere above him. Tatchi pays no attention to that as he slides the band on over his school uniform. He begins to chuckle softly.
Tatchi: *With this, I'll crush you for sure Muhoshida!*
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It is 1:31 PM at the northwestwest clock tower. A shadowed figure stands on top of the tower, with several other men behind him. He checks his watch as it changes to 1:32.
Lee: Heh... As I suspected... he's not going to show.
Guy1: Need some help, Varg-- I mean, Lee?
Lee: That won't be necessary. This will be as fair a fight as the coward deserves.
The shadows part to reveal a young man with a stern face and shoulder-length black hair. He has a compact build, and is a little shorter than his men.
Lee checks his watch. 1:33. As he lowers the watch, he sees Shin, standing in front of him.
Lee: You're late...
Shin: Naw, I've been here for the past ten minutes. You know, you look like an idiot just standing here trying to look cool.
Lee: You did this... to... mock me.
Shin: Of course! What are old friends for?
Lee: You're no friend of mine. Let's get to business.
Shin: It's about goddamn time, you know, you can talk a lot. By the way, what's with all of these goons behind you?
Lee snaps and they scatter.
Shin: Pretty cool. And I see you grew your bangs to cover that ridiculously large forehead of yours.
Lee's eye twitches. Both drop into stances, a light wind stirs the combatants.
Shin: Why exactly are you trying to kill me?
Lee: As if you don't remember.
Shin: Don't give me that crap.
Lee: You remember Taiwan correct?
Shin: Refresh my memory.
Lee: Feh. You defeated me in combat. I must have revenge.
Shin: So! I beat a lot of people. None of them want revenge.
Lee: You bested me in front of a lot of people. I must atone for my humiliation.
Shin: You're a sore loser, you know that?
Lee: No. It is you who is going to be sore, as well as a loser.
Shin: You moron. What a dumb reason to want revenge. I'll fight you again and I'll win again. Got it "4x4head?"
Lee's face flushes with anger. He quickly contols it and begins to gather his ki.
Shin: By the way, I'm a little late for class, so let's make this quick, okay?
Lee: Why you--... My pleasure.
Shin grins arrogantly. Lee allows himself a small smirk. Both combatants' auras are clearly visable in a kick ass dramatic still shot.
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NEXT CHAPTER: Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire
Hey! What's this? I refuse to lose a fight with "4x4head" Hiryu. I don't care if he's a master of defense; I'll still solo him. Also, Kirin stuffs his face with junk food, there's more random destruction and Okama vs. Hentai madness. Oh yeah, just who the hell saved Azusa from those punks? And what's an 80's TV star doing in this story anyways?