[Warning! This fic contains lemon/lime and massive OOC. Be warned!]
Previously: An alternate reality where Ranma and Genma headed for home after being cursed. Nodoka takes one look at her son's curse and promptly severs the engagement with the Tendos. Having never met Akane or Shampoo, 18-year old Ranma heads to Tokyo to attend college. There, he is reunited with his childhood sweetheart, Ukyo, and meets Chinese exchange student Shampoo, who promptly seduces him.
But both girls are hiding secrets from Ranma, including the fact that Ukyo is a soapland prostitute. As for Shampoo's secret....
W*ING Higley Presents:
U-Jin's Ranma Diaries
Location: San Diego, California
Place: San Diego Comic Con 2000
Trish Ledoux grimaced as Rumiko Takahashi strode from the stage, polite applause following her. A quick scan of the audience showed most of the crowd was in shock at Ms. Takahashi^�s comments.
Rumiko strode quickly to her dressing room, Trish struggling to keep pace. ^�Was that really necessary, Takahashi-san?^�
^�Of course it was.^� Rumiko removed her glasses. ^�Where are my contacts?^�
^�In your dressing room.^�
^�Of course. God I hate these things.^� She said, indicating the glasses. ^�But oh no, I have to keep wearing these as part of my ^�character^� for the public.^�
^�Did you have to be so harsh out there?^�
^�Yes. Those fans needed a dose of reality. I mean, did you see some of those people? Grown men in their mid-forties, all wearing Ranma shirts that barely covered their beer guts. I doubt half of them have ever even kissed a member of the opposite sex.^�
^�Still Takahashi-san, they came here to see you. Besides that, did you have to be so harsh on Mr. Jones.^� Trish pointed to Gerard Jones, the hack ex-screenwriter (Adventures of Ford Fairlane) who had been reduced to writing the English translation of Ranma 1/2. The man was sitting at the panel table, weeping openly in front of the crowd.
^�Gerard Jones is all that is wrong with the American version of my works. If I hurt his feelings with what I said out there, than so be it.^�
^�But still, saying that Carl Macek wrote better scripts, that^�s harsh.^�
^�Tough.^�
Trish hesitated. Finally, she reached into her purse and pulled out a sheaf of papers. ^�This came in over the FAX machine while you were on-stage.^�
Rumiko Takahashi^�s eye began to twitch noticeably as she realized it was the script for Ranma Diaries episode #7.
^�This is the final episode?^�
^�Yes.^�
^�I still don^�t see why they cut the budget.^�
^�Well, we took a bath on the dub of Chinese Ghost Story, so we had to make cuts somewhere.^�
^�Well, let^�s see how it ends....^�
Finale: 18^�s Legal In Japan....
Ukyo ^�Ucchan^� Kuonji fumed silently as she sat in the break room of the soapland massage parlor where she plied her trade as a semi-legal prostitute.
It wasn^�t her job that was bothering her. Far from it. Some people might have diagnosed Ukyo as a nymphomaniac, but Ukyo just really liked sex. Plus, the pay was great.
What was bothering Ukyo was a certain Chinese hussy. Ukyo had spent twelve years looking for her childhood best friend, Ranma Saotome. When she finally found him, she was pleasantly surprised that Ranma had turned into quite the stud. But on the day she was finally going to start seriously flirting with Ranma, some Amazon named Shampoo showed up and seduced the poor boy. Sometimes it just didn^�t pay to get out of bed.
But what was weird was that Ukyo had sworn that she had seen Shampoo from somewhere before. She wasn^�t sure exactly where, but she knew she had seen Shampoo^�s face before that day in the diner.
Giving up for the moment, Ukyo reached across the break room table and began flipping through one of the magazines that her transvestite co-worker Konatsu had left behind.
She shook her head in disgust when she realized it was a back-issue of ^�Adult Entertainment Monthly.^�
Her heart almost stopped when she reached page 81.
^�No way,^� Ukyo said. There, on page 81 of ^�Adult Entertainment Monthly^� was Shampoo, wearing a see-through maid^�s outfit and straddling a buff young man in a business suit.
The caption read:
^�Room Serviced! The Latest Porn Prod Production Starring Shampoo and Bobby Blade!^�
^�No way,^� Ukyo repeated.
*****
Two Days Ago....
Ranma Saotome stared in shock at his girlfriend/roommate. ^�Let me get this straight. You^�re a porno starlet?^�
^�Adult film actress.^� Shampoo corrected her boyfriend. ^�I don^�t like being called a porno
starlet.^�
Ranma stammered, not really sure how to react to this particular piece of news. ^�Why...why didn^�t you tell me before?^�
^�Because I wasn^�t sure how you would react,^� Shampoo explained. ^�And from the looks of things, I can see it might have been a mistake to tell you at all.^�
Ranma shook his head. ^�No, it^�s not that. I just...I just really don^�t know how to react to this.^�
He was silent for a moment, thinking. Finally, Ranma said, ^�How did you get involved in this?^�
^�Well, there aren^�t many job opportunities for Chinese Amazons with little knowledge of the Japanese language.^�
^�So you got involved in porn-...er, adult entertainment.^�
Shampoo nodded. ^�Mmm-hmm. With my figure, it was easy.^�
^�But, isn^�t all of it kinda sleazy?^� Ranma asked hesitantly.
^�It was at first, but by my third video shoot I was fairly comfortable with it.^�
Ranma stared at his girlfriend in disbelief. ^�But, having simulated sex in front of guys with cameras....^�
^�Sometimes it^�s simulated,^� Shampoo said. ^�But if it^�s a guy that I get along with fairly well, we do it for real. And the cameras don^�t bother me. You just have to learn how to ignore them.^�
Ranma sat there, agape. ^�But....^�
^�And the money^�s really good,^� Shampoo continued. ^�I mean, how else do you think I pay for all this?^� Shampoo motioned around her, pointing out the rather large apartment she and Ranma shared. Far bigger an apartment than most girls Shampoo^�s age could afford.
Ranma closed his eyes and began to rub his temples. ^�Why...why are you telling me all this now?^�
Shampoo hesitated. ^�Do you remember that friend of mine who came to visit yesterday, that guy?^�
^�Yeah. Norio was his name, right?^�
Shampoo nodded. ^�Yes. Well, you see, he^�s the director for my next video. And we were discussing possible ^�leading men^� to work with. And well....^�
^�Well?^� Ranma had a bad feeling where this conversation was going.
^�He noticed you, and he called me this morning....^�
^�He wants me to get into porno.^� Ranma finished.
Shampoo looked sheepish. ^�Yes.^�
Ranma rolled his eyes. These things always happened to him. They always did. He was destined to lead an abnormal life.
^�And let me guess.^� His voice was rather cynical. ^�You just happened to mention my curse to him, and show a picture of me in my girl form to him. And not only does he want me to do porn in my guy form, he thinks my girl form would be pretty adept at it too.^�
The Amazon could not even meet his gaze. ^�It...it pays really well,^� she offered lamely.
*****
The Present....
^�Ranchan!^� Ukyo shouted as she bounded up the steps towards Shampoo^�s apartment. ^�Ranchan, there^�s something you gotta know about your girlfriend.^�
Ukyo burst through the door, and stopped, and stared.
There in the middle of the room was Ranma, buck naked and straddling an equally naked Shampoo.
But that wasn^�t what amazed Ukyo. It was the fact that behind them was a full camera crew, actively filming the entire affair.
^�Ranchan?^� Ukyo asked in disbelief.
Ranma stopped and smiled sheepishly. ^�Uh, hi Ucchan....^�
The director, Norio, also smiled. ^�Hello indeed,^� he said as he admired Ukyo^�s curvaceous form.
*****
Dear Journal:
Well, what can I say? Somehow I went from being Ranma Saotome, world^�s greatest martial artist to Ranma Saotome, porn star. It^�s not bad, I guess....
Oh hell, who am I kidding? It^�s great. The money is amazing and I get to do it all the time with Shampoo now. I still haven^�t done it as a girl yet, but Norio assures me that lesbian porn pays even more.
As for Ucchan, well, turns out she had this really big crush on me. I didn^�t know, but now that she^�s co-starring with me ^�an Shampoo, I can^�t say I mind all that much.
I thought Mom would be really pissed when she found out, but it turns out that she
thinks being a porn star is just about the manliest thing you could do. Go figure.
It^�s a weird life, but it^�s mine. And I wouldn^�t trade it in for anything in the world.
Ranma Saotome.
The End
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