Hi Deborah.



Just finished reading the first four chapters of Equal Halves and thought
I'd give you my opinion. I'll start with the negatives first just to get
them over with. So far I don^�t find it quite as good as Genma's Daughter.
That^�s not really a bad thing I get the feeling that this is something to
have fun with. After coming up with a fantastic version of Ranko/Ranma its
neat to see how she responds to the "original" cast.



Having said that I think most of my opinion of Genma's Daughter has the
benefit of my reading it entirety. Getting to see the Ranko's gradual
transformation until she comes out of her cocoon entirely at the concert. I
won't be the least bit surprised that my opinion will change once I see
everything.



The other problem I'm having so far is that parts of this come close to feel
like a self insert in that so far Ranko seems to be here solving everyone's
problems. Coaching Ranma on how to relate to Akane, sparring with Akane,
providing Ranma a creative outlet, and serving as a sounding board for Akane
to admit her feelings. I know you can argue that this was one of the magic
rock's ulterior motives for transporting Ranko to the "cannon" reality but
still this is too easy. Ranko while in many ways is more mature then cannon
Ranma, is no Mary Poppins.



There that wasn^�t so bad was it? Now for the good stuff.



As always the first thing that impressed me is your attention to the little
details. Be it knowledge of the cannon (Ranko wearing the dress from the
Kummon Ryu episode was a nice touch), geography (far too many of us seem to
forget Ranma 1/2 actually take place in Japan. Judging from your pictures on
your web page I assume your knowledge is far more then just being able to
read a map of Tokyo) and finally the music (I played violin in high school
and while the extent of my talent only explains why there are no mountain
lions in Rhode Island it has given me a life long appreciation. I look
forward to look up about Lott) anyway the point of all that rambling is that
all of these little details give your product much more depth.



I like your handling of Akane here. One of my complaints about Genma's
Daughter is that halfway through the story Akane turns into the voice of
reason and Ranko's personnel counselor and hardly anything else. It is
important to remember there is just as much room for Akane to grow as Ranma.
Seeing character traits besides a temper in Akane is very refreshing.



For the rest I like scenes more then the entire story. Again I'm very sure
that opinion will change once I see the entire story.



The best for me is the conversations. Where Ranko is telling her lifes most
embarrassing incidents especially the Bunny suit incident as examples of
internal conflict she wasn^�t even aware of. While behind her Ranma is
choking. A very good use of irony.



The other was the first encounter between Ranko and Ryouga with Ranko
breaking up in front of a completely clueless Ryouga. And watching how This
Ryouga is smitten just as hard as Ranko's Ryouga. On a small side note I
worry that Akari is one of the most put upon Ranma character in Fanficdom.
It would be a shame if she gets dumped yet again.



The bit with the cake. Tres excellent! Another example of what I was saying
about your attention to detail. Others would just say it tasted terrible or
was almost poisonous.



Well that^�s all I can think of for now. I'm sure I can list other good bits
but I'm sure it would begin to seem like nitpicking. I look forward to see
the rest of this. I hope everything is going well with you and hope to hear
from.



 Bill Morse











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