Yes, I know I should be working on Starlit Reflections
8.
Yes, I know I should be working on Gundam Moon 4.
Yes, I *know* the *last* thing I should be doing is
starting a new story. Blame it on all the Woeful Lives
that recently came down the pipe, Quicksilver's
comment that Ranma and Akane *both* have to grow up a
lot before they can have a decent relationship, and
all the Ranma-centred fics that have been going round.
Please don't look for ch. 2 until February. I really
*do* have to put out SR8 and GM4 sometime this month.
The title is *very* tentative, and I'm open to
suggestions.
Raye
=====
raye_j@yahoo.com
http://members.tripod.com/raye__1/
I believe in dragons, unicorns, good men
and other mythical creatures.
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Difrnt.txt
-- Desc: Difrnt.txt
A Different Path
by Raye Johnsen
raye_j@yahoo.com
**********
'Ranma 1/2' is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, and others.
'Bishoujou Senshi Sailor Moon' is copyright Takeuchi Naoko,
Kodansha, Mixx Enterprises, DiC Entertainment, and others.
In other words, NOT ME.
**********
Part One
It was time.
She watched the bus pull up and checked the contents of her
wallet yet again. The trust fund had paid its dividends only
three weeks before; for the moment, she didn't need to worry
about money. It would have to be husbanded carefully after
tonight; but for tonight, she didn't have to worry.
The bus was only an intra-district one, terminating in
Juuban. That didn't matter. It wasn't like anyone she knew
travelled outside Nerima much. Juuban was as good a place as any;
from all she heard it was quite nice. That, in fact, made it more
attractive. None of the people she no longer wished to see would
ever go anywhere that could be described as blandly as 'quite
nice'.
She paid the fare - a few hundred yen, she could have paid
it out of her pocket money - and sat down heavily in the seat.
The cracked vinyl was dark with use and the weight of countless
previous passengers had carved a depression into the foam padding
beneath it. She sank into the seat, pale and small, a phantom of
a girl, so unlike her usual self that even her friends would have
had to look twice to recognise her.
It is a cliche to say that an afternoon can change a life.
People forget, however, that cliches come to be simply because
they *do* happen. This one happened to Tendou Akane.
***********
It had been a handbook on marital separation, and she still
didn't know why she'd picked the book up, nor why she'd brought
it home to read. This procedure, though, as described in that
book, was deceptively simple. It was one of the tests the authors
had recommended: to sit down and list, in two columns, every
single reason why the relationship should continue, and every
reason why it should be ended.
She had no idea why she'd decided to apply it to herself and
her engagement. But she had. In fact, because she was the sort
who never walked a kilometre if she could sprint a mile, she'd
applied it to her entire life. Every relationship she could think
of, right down to her friendships.
The results were depressing.
She was unneeded. Unnecessary. Unwanted.
Akane could feel the tears of self-pity begin to prick
behind her eyelids, and angrily began to wipe them away; then
stopped. Her anger was behind too many of her problems. She had
caused her own rejection because she had become too angry too
many times.
But self-pity wouldn't help her either. She could sit at the
bottom of the hole she'd dug and wail "Poor me!" till the end of
days, and that would gain her nothing save a sore throat and a
dirty rear end. Or she could pick up that shovel and try to dig
herself a staircase.
Could she, though?
Her relationship with her fiance - well, *that* was
irretrievable. He'd said as much himself. She loved Saotome
Ranma, but the two of them were simply carrying on as they always
had, building the walls of hurt and counter-hurt between them.
How she wished that she had never started building it!
/But he said -/ and then she firmly shut the little internal
voice that was set on "Blame Everyone Else" up. It was *her*
fault. /They say 'stop encouraging them' to children who are
teased. I encouraged him./
Her father - she loved him. He'd trained her to a certain
level, then stopped. She hadn't known there was more, and he had
never told her. He'd engaged her to a man who she didn't know and
who didn't know her. He had cared so little for her dedication
to kempo that he had gone outside the family to designate an heir
to the family's school.
/I don't think he cares about *me* at all./
Her sisters - they did love her. She loved them.
/But we are separate people. If we were not related, I doubt
we would even notice each other./
Her rivals would be glad to see her go. If Ukyou had not
been her rival, she might have tried to make friends with her....
/And maybe not. I am no saint./
Her friends....
/I'm not close to them anymore. I haven't *been* close to
them for over a year./
In short, there was nobody to whom her presence was
necessary, and only among her friends, maybe, was it wanted.
It hurt.
It hurt knowing that she'd done it to herself.
But what *really* hurt was knowing that there was no way
out.
She could try to take down the wall between herself and
Ranma - but could she? For all of *her* feelings (/And when did
*you* ever tell him you love him?/ Akane asked herself), he
didn't want her in his life, so he'd insult her and she'd lose
her temper and respond in kind, and far from tearing down the
wall, she'd simply be adding another brick....
She could try to explain her feelings to her father, and he
would all-but pat her on the head and tell her to run along.
Kasumi would listen and understand, but she could do
nothing; and Nabiki would demand payment for a plan that might
or might not work, but would *definitely* be amusing to watch and
embarrassing for Akane.
Her friends couldn't even begin to understand, much less
help.
She had painted herself into a corner and the paint would
never dry.
/The only thing to do is knock down the wall./
Knock down the wall... escape the cage....
/ESCAPE THE CAGE!!/
She had looked up from the book and her scribbled notes. It
had been late, almost dinner time. If she went to dinner, then
straight to bed - tomorrow was Sunday, nobody would be surprised
if she slept in. If she wasn't expected down for breakfast, she
wouldn't be missed until lunch time.
Walking over to her desk and picking up her hand mirror,
Akane was not surprised to see tearstains on her cheeks, nor that
her complexion was much paler than usual. She quickly and
carefully applied some foundation to her face. Quickly, so she
wouldn't be late to dinner. Carefully, so nobody would spot she
*was* wearing makeup. After all, she had an alibi to establish.
**********
Dinner was quiet, and Saotome Ranma's danger sense was
screaming at him. About Akane.
She'd been up in her room all afternoon, 'studying', she
said. All right, he had no reason to think she was lying. But
he'd insulted her, *twice*, and she hadn't said nothing.
*Nothing*! He called her uncute, she called him insensitive. He
called her a tomboy, she called him an idiot. That was the way
it went.
Except tonight it didn't.
"Kasumi?" Akane said quietly. "I haven't been feeling too
well this afternoon. I'm going to go up to bed after dinner."
Kasumi's eyes had widened. "Oh my!" she said.
Ranma winced. Didn't she ever say *anything* else? Like "Oh
dear" or "Wow" or even "Dammit, Akane, THAT WAS MY KITCHEN!!"
Still, that might explain it. If she wasn't feeling well,
Akane might not feel up to a good insult-match.
"I hope you're not getting sick..." Kasumi was continuing.
"Yes, Akane. Illness is not a good thing," Tendou Soun
commented.
Akane felt a flash of anger, which she carefully suppressed.
Just because he'd been in floods when *Kasumi* caught the flu...
/I do love him, I do love him,/ she chanted to herself. "I think
I might not feel too well tomorrow either," Akane continued. "So
please don't make breakfast for me - I might still be sleeping.
If I feel well enough to eat I'll come down, and you can make
something for me then."
Nabiki broke the silence. "Sure hope what you've got isn't
catching, Akane."
Akane looked at her sister, noting the way the light caught
in her cinnamon-brown hair and the curve of her uptilted nose.
/Nabiki is beautiful,/ she thought suddenly, unaware that it was
simply the shape of her eyes and colour of her hair that saved
her from being Nabiki's twin. "So do I," was all the reply she
gave, however.
Standing, Akane bowed to the table. "Thank you for dinner,
Kasumi. Goodnight everyone," she murmured, and escaped upstairs.
Nobody followed her. Akane pressed her ear to the closed
door, and before long she heard the television go on and the
seemingly endless <clakclak> of the shogi tiles resume.
/They *really* don't need me,/ Akane thought again. She
quickly and efficiently folded clothing into a small case. Too
big and she'd never be able to get away.
It didn't take that long to fold what she considered the
essentials into her chosen suitcase. She spent much longer on
five letters, and when she'd finished writing them, and rewriting
them, a full hour had passed.
Discarding the window (Ranma might be on the roof again, and
he was the *last* person she wanted to witness her escape), Akane
quietly opened her door onto an empty passage. Silently she
slipped down it and down the stairs. She could hear Kasumi doing
the washing up in the kitchen, and the shogi tiles hadn't
stopped. Peeping around the corner of the living room, she saw
Ranma and Nabiki both entranced by the TV. Listening, she soon
realized why; a Gundam Wing rerun was on. Nabiki liked the music
and the OZ characters, while Ranma liked the mecha.
So, while all her family were distracted, Tendou Akane
slipped out of the door, into the night, stopping only to drop
five letters into the postbox on the corner.
********
Sitting on the bus, the enormity of what she had done began
to sink in.
She had abandoned her family, her heritage, her future. She
had cut herself away from every single person she knew, the role
she had been born to and the path she had followed all of her
life.
But the path had been empty. She had been held up against
that heritage and found wanting. The role was already more-than-
adequately filled, by those who were *not* wanting. And those who
were in her life... would be just as happy if she were out of
theirs.
*He* would be just as happy....
Akane gave up the fight against her tears.
*********
Around this time, Mizuno Ami decided to take a break from
studying. The notion occurred to her and suddenly seemed
irresistible.
The informal juku at the temple was really helping her as
much or more than the other girls. Teaching Usagi how to say
"Please excuse me, I don't speak English very well" in English
truly dinned the subject into one's brain.
If only it dinned it into Usagi's brain, too....
However, it did mean that Ami was at least ten chapters
ahead in every subject, and she felt justified in taking a short
break.
/Hmmm... a nice walk around the park?/
*********
Kino Makoto would not know until much later exactly why she
felt the urge to go for a walk. She justified it to herself as
restlessness. She'd cleaned up after dinner and the apartment was
spotless, there was nothing on TV, and she wasn't tired. She'd
done the laundry and her school uniform was ironed for Monday.
There was, literally, nothing to do.
Pulling on her coat, she decided that a turn or two about
the park might be just what the doctor ordered. Do a little bit
of stargazing, see if she could pick out Mir and the planets,
bathe in the rays of Jupiter... It was a lot better than sitting
around vegetating.
*********
Tsukino Usagi could not sleep. This annoyed her.
She might not have been so annoyed if her fiance had not
been sleeping the sleep of babies, the dead, and newly-graduated
doctors who are still exhausted from exams. Otherwise, she would
have been chatting to him on the telephone, racking up a bill to
turn Tsukino Kenji's hair white and convincing anybody who was
nosy enough to listen in that evesdropping on a lover's
conversation is a very embarrassing way to be bored to death.
She definitely would not have been so annoyed if her parents
had let her stay over his place like she'd asked. Begged.
Pleaded. She'd sworn on her grandmother's grave that nothing
would happen. She'd pointed out that they *were* engaged and
would be getting married in a year, as soon as she got out of
high school. It didn't work. Her parents were adamant. She was
not going to spend the night in Chiba Mamoru's apartment.
Maybe a walk around the park would make her sleepy. Or calm
her down. Or *something*.
Since she *was* so annoyed, she didn't stop to ask
permission, simply snatching up her coat and stalking out of the
house, shouting, "I'm going for a walk in the park!" as she left.
"Maybe we *should* have let her go," Tsukino Eiko mused.
Her husband gripped his newspaper tighter.
*********
"I *swear*," Hino Rei muttered, walking down the steps that
led from the Cherry Hill Temple to the street. "Two of them!
*Two*! And I thought Grandpa was bad enough on his own!"
Above her, Hino Seijuuro slept in blissful ignorance of his
grandaughter's touchy temper, the way his apprentice's snores
were harmonizing with his own, or the fact that those snores were
actually vibrating the temple on its foundations.
**********
Aino Minako was nowhere near ready to sleep. Still energized
from the singing audition she'd just attended, she decided that
a nice walk around the park just might help her unwind.
*********
Meiou Setsuna sat back on a shaded bench in Juuban Park.
Sometimes it was very hard to cling to her raison d'etre,
to remember exactly why she existed. These were not the same
thing, and when one decreed actions that were contrary to the
other it was sometimes very hard to make the necessary choices.
To the other Sailor Senshi, Pluto existed to ensure things
happened the way they should. To be a link between Past and
Future.
Meiou Setsuna knew better.
Things happened. Sometimes they were good. Sometimes they
were bad. As Pluto, she could nudge things into place; but chance
existed and she could never be one-hundred-percent, *completely*
sure events would follow her plan. Setsuna was far more familiar
with the Quantum Weather Butterfly than she wanted to be.
She considered herself to be, not *the* Future, but the Hope
*for* the future; the hope that tomorrow is sunshiny, not stormy.
As Hope, she hated shattering it. She hated pessimism and
fatalism. She had always fought for the best future. Sometimes,
the 'best future' required someone's hopes to be shattered. That
didn't mean she had to like it. The 'best future' required Tendou
Akane to be unattached and living in Juuban. For Reasons, and for
at least the next six months.
She might have had to shatter the girl's heart and hopes,
but Setsuna would be *damned* if she would let them stay that
way.
**********
Minako met Ami at the Juuban Park's gate.
"Hi, Ami-chan! I thought you'd be studying!"
"Hello, Mina-chan! I was, but I felt like a short break. Why
are you out here at this time of night?"
"Eh heh heh! I just got back from an audition. You're
looking at the latest, *greatest* idol! Or at least I *will* be
when they post me the results!"
**********
Rei bumped into Usagi - literally - at the (closed) ice-
cream stand.
"Rei-chan! You're out walking, too?"
"Sure am! Couldn't sleep a *wink*. Grandpa and Yuuchirou-san
are each bad enough on their own, but when they're *both*
snoring, it's impossible! You could use them as air raid sirens!
You?"
"My parents are *impossible*! They just won't listen to me!"
"You got kept at home away from Mamoru-san, didn't you."
"It's not FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Hey, look,
there's Ami-chan and Mina-chan!"
**********
It is a little-known fact outside the area that the Juuban
Bus Station is actually right beside Juuban Park. The town
planners had decided that the arrangement would be harmonious, in
that passengers would have something to look at while they waited
for their bus, and people from outside the area would immediately
have a landmark to orient themselves with.
They did not consider the possibility of muggers at the
time, but the later youma infestation took care of *them* nicely.
Makoto was actually the last of the Senshi to reach the
park, and saw the last bus pulling up at the station. She
would've kept walking past... except one girl got off.
Her eyes were big and red, and still leaking tears. She held
one small portmanteau, and had a general air of desolation about
her.
In short, she looked as if her life had ended.
She looked around, and saw Makoto. Walking up to her, the
strange girl asked, "Excuse me, my name's -" she hesitated a bit
and continued, "Tendou Kaneda. Would you know of an inn or
apartment building with vacant apartments around here?"
Makoto blinked. Her Senshi senses were thrumming, but not
with danger; much as they had around Usagi, the first day they
had met, but somehow differently, too. The only thing she knew
for sure was that 'friend, friend' was part of the singing in her
bones.
"Hi, Mako-chan!" came a call, and Makoto turned to see Usagi
come puffing up behind her. And behind her stood Ami-chan, Rei-
chan and Mina-chan.
Remembering the fact that the apartment opposite hers was
vacant and making a split-second decision, Makoto spoke. "Hi,
everyone," she replied absently. To the girl, she said, "I'm Kino
Makoto, and yes, I know of a place."
Usagi, for her part, peered at the strange girl. "Hello, I'm
Tsukino Usagi," she announced, holding out her hand. "It's good
to meet you."
Kanada looked startled at Usagi's open friendliness. "I'm
Tendou A- Kaneda. It's good to meet you."
"I'm Aino Minako," "Hino Rei," "Mizuno Ami," the three other
girls introduced themselves. "It's good to meet you!" All three
chorused.
"You look awful," Usagi commented, tactlessly as usual. "Are
you ill?"
Kaneda gave a short bark of empty laughter, sour in its
overtones of pain. "No, not ill," she replied. "I'm here to
start."
"Start? Start what?" Rei asked curiously.
"Life. Everything."
Minako frowned. "What do you mean?"
Kaneda looked at the five of them. "What do I... Okay. I'll
tell you. Lord God knows I've got to tell *someone*," she
muttered.
"Today, for the first time in years, I was honest with
myself. I took a good, hard, long look at my life and I realized
that I'm a bitch. I'm violent, I don't cook as much as create
biological weaponry, every second word I say is an insult and I
never, *never* give anybody even a first chance to explain
themselves. Everybody I care about hates me or dislikes me or is
indifferent to me. I have driven away all my friends. And it is
all my own fault."
Kaneda drew in a breath that sounded suspiciously like a
sob. "If I tried to change, well, I've burnt all my bridges.
Everyone would be suspicious of any changes I made and everyone
would treat me the way they've gotten used to treating me - the
way I've deserved to be treated - and I'd fall back into my old
ways and, well."
She shook her head. "So. I left that life. Everyone there
will be much happier, and I - I'm going to try to begin again,
and do better this time."
There was silence.
Rei took in a breath. "Are you sure? It sounds an awful lot
to me like you're just running away from your problems."
Kaneda's crooked grin was pure black humour. "Oh, I am. But
there's no other way to solve them. Believe me on that."
"Running away is never a solution-" Ami tried.
"It is when your father's engaged you to a boy who hates
your guts!" Kaneda snapped, then gasped. "I'm sorry," she added
mournfully, "I promised myself I'd *stop*. I'm sorry...." she
turned away.
Usagi reached out and touched her shoulder. "Don't go."
Kaneda looked back at her, and the way the five girls had
arranged themselves in a half circle around her, Makoto and Ami
to Usagi's right, with Rei and Minako standing to her left. "We
need you," Usagi continued, softly, in a voice that was more
mature than her years. "Please don't go... my friend Kaneda."
It was impossible for Kaneda to look into those deep blue
eyes and refuse.
Not too far away, in a pool of shadow, a woman with dark
green hair and eyes wiser than the Universe watched and smiled,
as the future began to move.
***********
True to her word, Akane did not come down to breakfast.
Kasumi worried a little, and decided to prepare Akane's
favourite, yakitori, for lunch.
Ranma got thoroughly trounced by his father that morning,
being punted into the koi pond twice. He was easily distracted
and kept glancing up at Akane's bedroom window.
Midmorning, the postman came. Kasumi automatically sorted
out the mail. Bill for Nabiki to take care of, ditto, ditto,
postcard for Father, letter for Ranma, cheque for Nabiki, letter
for her - in Akane's handwriting?
So was the letter for Ranma.
Instead of quietly giving everyone their mail, Kasumi
decided to open her letter and read it first.
**********
A shriek rang through the house.
Nabiki dropped her pen, making an ugly smear of ink on the
household account book, and sprinted downstairs.
Ranma nearly sprained his ankle on the door track of the
doujou.
The shogi board was ignored as Soun and Genma ran to the
kitchen.
Kasumi sat at the table, her eyes wild and her hands
clenched into fists on the sheet of paper she held tightly.
"Akane-chan..." she whispered, shaking her head. "Akane-
chan... Akane-chan...."
Rather than attempt to pull the letter out of Kasumi's
fists, Nabiki peered over her shoulder and read it aloud.
"'Dear Kasumi,
'I'm sorry I lied to you tonight, but it
was necessary. I love you very much but I have
finally realized that I am a burden to you and
to the entire family. So I am leaving.
'Please don't worry about me. I will be
all right. I will write again soon.
'I love you very much,
'Akane.'"
"What?" Ranma asked intelligently.
Kasumi lifted her eyes from the letter at the sound of his
voice. "There's one for you too, Ranma. Here." She picked up an
envelope from the table and held it out.
Nabiki reached out casually and attempted to pluck it from
between Kasumi's suddenly iron-hard pinch.
"The letter is for Ranma, Nabiki," Kasumi said, and her
normally gentle voice was steel. Nabiki stared at this changed
Kasumi in shock as Ranma took the letter from her hand.
"What does it say, Boy?" Saotome Genma demanded.
"How'n'hell should *I* know? I ain't *read* it yet!" Ranma
snapped. He shouldered past his father, running up the stairs to
climb out the window and onto the roof.
Akane gone? Why? They'd been through so very much together!
Life without his Uncute Tomboy just wouldn't be worth aything.
When he'd thought she was dead he literally hadn't *cared*
whether he lived or died. She was that important.
Ripping open the envelope, he opened the letter.
'Dear Ranma,
'I love you.
'I never said it, did I? Maybe if I had, things
would never have happened the way they did.
'I'm sorry. I never said *that*, either. I'm
sorry, Ranma.
'I'm sorry for all the times I hit you for no
reason.
'I'm sorry for inflicting my toxic cooking on
you, and I'm sorry for all the times I hit you
for running away from it.
'I'm sorry for all the nasty names I called
you.
'I'm sorry you've had to put up with an uncute,
violent girl like me. You deserve better.
'I love you very much, Ranma. But I know you don't
feel the same, so I am going. At least you will be
free of me.
'Be happy,
'Akane.'
/'Be happy'?/ Ranma wondered. /HOW??/
************
Meiou Setsuna smiled to herself as she looked with
satisfaction upon her work.
Key figure in place... check.
Previous attachments terminated... check.
New attachments formed... check.
Transfer documents from Furinkan High and registration
documents for Juuban High for one Tendou Kaneda, completed and in
the Juuban High school office... check.
"I hate paperwork," she muttered, quietly closing the office
door behind her.