Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Fic][eva][lemon] Maya in Wonderland
From: "Ragun Paul Moody" <Kichigai@tds.net>
Date: 12/28/2000, 5:10 PM
To: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>, "Doug Whiddon" <turk187@crosswinds.net>

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Someone wrote a Maya in Wonderland fic once before, but it was a one page

affair based on the clamp Manga.

I've been working on this off-and-on for months. I'm glad to finaly be done

with it.



	$Sheesh, looks like someone watched Miyuki-chan in the Wonderland one too

many times.  Or maybe just enough...



	All comments are my opinon only.



Maya in wonderland (an excercise in lunacy)

By Douglas Whiddon

(With apologies to Lewis Carrol and Gainex)



	$Gainax



	Maya was running late for work and all of Tokyo-3 seemed to

be against her; she missed her train and a problem with the tracks made

it the last one for awhile, the deluge of commuters made it impossible to

get a cab so she was literally running to work.

	^SI^RM LATE! GET OUT OF MY WAY I^RM LATE!!!!^T



	$Ouch, funky quotes.  Looks like MSWord smartquotes or something.



	Maya wasn^Rt the one screaming, she turned to see who it was

and got the shock of her young life; Rei Ayanami was coming up behind

her on a pair of roller blades. What was even more shocking than the

roller blades or the uncharacteristic yelling was the fact that she was

wearing a  black one-piece bathing suit with a cotton tail on the back

and a pair of bunny ears.



	$Aww, no skateboard?



	Maya was so shocked she stopped to stare, at which point Rei

collided with her and they both fell down an open manhole.(1)



	$Just like what happened to poor Dr. Tofu.



	Maya fell, screaming,  through the darkness. She clutched Rei,



	$Maya fell screaming through the darkness, clutching at Rei, who...



who was also screaming. After several very long seconds they both

stopped screaming.

	^SShouldn^Rt we have hit bottom by now?^T Maya asked.(2)

	At which point, because there are forces even stronger than

gravity,(3) they hit bottom. They landed on soft grass. Not what one

expected to land on in a sewer, Maya stood up and brushed off her



	$Hmm, maybe: ...grass, not what one would expect to land on in a sewer.

Maya



dress... wait a minute, she thought. I wasn^Rt wearing a dress.



	$And it promptly disappeared, leaving her naked and bewildered.



She

looked down at herself; she was indeed wearing a dress. A blue dress

with a white apron, white stockings, and shiny black shoes. ^SI look like

a British school girl.^T she said to no one in particular.(4)



	$Hmm, that's strange.  I'd always thought Maya only drooled after older

co-worker type people.  Who knew she had a taste for school girls?



	^SThey don^Rt wear crotchless panties.^T(5)



	$I dunno, them British are a pretty freaky bunch.



	Maya lifted her skirt and looked down; sure enough, her panties

had zero crotch, the tuft of brown hair at her cleft was completely

uncovered. Maya put her skirt back down with an ^Qeep^R



	$This would be so much better with better formatting.



	Wait a minute, who said that? Maya looked around. She was



	$Add quotes for that.



alone as far as the eye could see, stranded in a an endless sea of grass.



	$Rei having already hopped off.



^SWho said that?^T

	^SUp here, dear.^T

	Maya looked up, into the cartoon face of the sun. The sun

winked at her and produced a pair of sunglasses from somewhere.(6)



	$I never did like coke.  Or was that a California Rasins reference?



	^SUhm, hi.^T Maya waved. ^SDo you know how I can get back

home?^T



	$Click your heels together and chant 'I want to wake up, I want to wake

up,'



	^SYou can^Rt go back from here, you^Rll have to go forward first.^T

	Maya sighed. ^SAll right, which way?^T

	^STry the door.^T The sun pointed back over Maya^Rs shoulder

and then turned its face away from her.



	$Err, but that's behind her.



	^SBut, there^Rs no door there!^T She turned to point in the direction

that there was not a door, and saw a door.(7)

	Maya opened the door and walked through. She found herself

in a round room with a checkered floor. The room had ten doors along

the wall. The door she had come through slammed shut with a finality

that indicated that it would not soon be opening again.



	$She's got to go forward, anyway.



	Maya examined each of the other nine doors. She felt like

Alice. Way too much like Alice. She had read ^QAlice in Wonderland^R

and seen more than one film version, so she had a pretty good idea of

what to expect.



	$Miyuki-chan in Wonderland was a hell of a lot funnier.  Every character

was a girl, and every girl was a lesbian.  Poor Miyuki.  Maya would have

loved it, though.



 But unfortunately for her, this world wasn^Rt playing fair.

None of the doors where covered in a curtain, and none where very

small. In fact, each of the ten doors was identical, she no longer had any

idea which one she had come through.



	$Should have paid more attention.



	She tried to open each door, none would budge. ^SThis is stupid,

what am I supposed to do now?^T She took a step back to look up

through the window that should be in the ceiling and bumped into a

glass table. She turned to look at the table, the key was there, as it

should be, but it wasn^Rt a small key, it was three inched long and the



	$three inches long



loop on the end was heart shaped.

	^SWell now, which door will you open?^T



	$Who said that?



	She tried each door again. The key fit half of them but would

not open, and just plain would not go in the others.

	Maya sighed, ^Snow what?^T At that moment her foot bumped



	$"Now what?"



something. She bent down and picked up the something. It was a small

glass case, shaped like a compact. She opened it and found a chocolate

chip cookie. The cookie did not say ^SEat me^T, cookies after all, usually

do not speak. All the chocolate chips where placed in a ring on the

outer edge of the cookie.(8)

	In the book, Maya remembered, Alice ate the cookies to get

bigger after she had drunk the liquid which made her shrink. There was

no small door to go through, so she didn^Rt need to drink the drink which

hadn^Rt shown up anyway, and she had the key in her pocket so she

didn^Rt need to eat the cookie. But on the other hand she wanted to get

out of the room and no other opportunity to move the plot forward had

presented itself, and she loved choclate chips. So she bit the cookie.



	$Hmm, ..itself.  Not to mention that she loved chocolate chips.



	Alice grew until she filled the room. Maya grew until she

overfilled her bra. She went from the low end of the C cup, to the

Extreme end of the D cup.



	$Heh, cute.  to the extreme end



	^SOh dear.^T Maya felt her chest to verify that they had grown.

They had, both in size and in sensitivity. The light brush of her own hand

across her chest caused her newly enlarged nipples to poke holes in the

dress.



	$Literal holes?  Damn!  She really could put someone's eye out.



	Maya was glad she wasn^Rt wearing heels, she would have

toppled over. ^SGreat, I^Rm still stuck in this stupid room and now I^Rm

built like a porn star.^T

	She took a few steps, the boobs bobbed like Jell-O.



	$took a few steps and the boobs



 ^SHow do

they do it?^T

	^SPorn stars? Every way there is, I^Rm sure.^T

	Maya spun around, an act she quickly regretted as her tits

wobbled back and forth.



	$Or worse, she couldn't stop their momentum and they continued the spin,

knocking her down.



 Rei was standing in the doorway of one of the

doors, which was now open.

	^SRei?^T

	Rei^Rs grimaced slightly. ^SWho?^T



	$Rei's?  I think that should be Rei.



	^SAren^Rt you Rei Ayanami?^T

	Rei shook her head, ^SNo, I^Rm Bunny. They call me that

because I like to go at it like a bunny.^T



	$Heh, as many of them as they are, they must multiply exponetially.



	Maya looked at the ears, and the tail. ^SIs that the only reason?^T

	^SWhy else would they call me Bunny?^T



	$Because she can swallow a carrot, among other things, in one bite?



	Maya, wisely did not comment.(9) ^SCan you tell me how to get

back to my world?^T

	^SWhat^Rs in it for me?^T



	$Hot lesbian sex, Maya replied promptly.



	^SWhat do you want? I don^Rt have anything to trade.^T

	Bunny grinned. ^SIf I wasn^Rt late right now I^Rd let you work it off

with your body, but I am late, so I^Rll tell you what. You give me that

cookie and your panties and I^Rll tell you who does know how to get out

of this world.^T

	Maya stared at Bunny. The cookie was no problem, she wasn^Rt

taking another bite. But, her PANTIES? Was everyone here horny and

strange?



	$Hey, it's just like the real world.



	A slight breeze blew in the door and up Maya^Rs skirt, reminding

her that her panties weren^Rt actually covering anything.

	^SDeal.^T Maya handed the cookie to Bunny, then she reached up

under her skirt and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her

panties.

	^SUh uh uh!^T Bunny waved her finger in front of Maya. ^SI get to

take them off.^T

	Maya sighed. This world was frustrating. ^SAll right.^T

	^STurn around and bend over. Maya obeyed. Bunny flipped up



	$bend over."  New paragraph.  Maya obeyed.  New paragraph.  Bunny...



her skirt and slowly slipped the panties off. Much more slowly than was

required. As Maya straitened up and her skirt fell back to cover her

butt she felt a finger slide between the lips of her sex.

	^SHEY!^T She spun, again regretting it, to face Bunny. Bunny was

grinning and sucking on her finger.



	$In Alice in Wonderland Alice was trying to hunt down the bunny.  That

said, I think you could have had more fun with this.



	She smiled at Maya. ^SThe queen can tell you how to get home.

She knows everything here.^T And then she was gone.

	Maya put the cookie fragment in her pocket and followed

Bunny.



	$What cookie fragment?  I think you need to detail that more.



	The door led out to a sunny garden. A hedge maze was visible

in the garden and trees and grass where everywhere.

	Maya looked around. ^SIf this is Wonderland, then next I^Rm

supposed to meet Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. She looked around

some more and noticed Gendo and Fyuutski wandering hand-in-hand



	$Heh heh.  That's a nice touch.  However, Fuyutsuki.



among the trees



	$trees.



	Maya giggled. ^SThe casting seems apt. But I think I^Rll avoid that

encounter all together.^T



	$And thus avoiding a yaoi tag.



 She went off in the opposite direction in search

of the Bunny^Rs house, which was the next place Alice wound up.

	Maya trudged through the garden until she came to a small

cottage on the edge of a forest. Next to the cottage was a vegetable

garden, in which appeared to be nothing but carrots.



	$No cucumbers?



	^SI^RM LATE! GET OUT OF THE WAY I^RM LATE!^T

	Bunny came barreling out of the garden and up the path,

knocking Maya down on the way. They both landed on the path to the

cottage, Maya on her rear and Bunny on Maya^Rs boobs.

	Maya tried to sit up, but found she couldn^Rt as Bunny hadn^Rt.

The bunny was fondling her bust, which Maya was starting to enjoy.

	^SHEY!^T Maya yelled.

	Bunny looked up at her.

	^SYes?^T She asked.

	^SAren^Rt you late for something?^T

	^SOh, yeah.^T Bunny stood up and brushed  off her outfit. ^SLet^Rs



	$Extra space.  brushed off



see...^T Bunny started to pat her pockets. ^SOh, dear. Where is my

watch!^T She got down on her knees  and started to search the grass.



	$Extra space.  knees and



	Maya stood by and watched her.

	Bunny looked up at Maya. ^SWhile I^Rm looking for my watch

could you run inside and fetch my gloves off the table?^T

	^SSure, I guess.^T



	$Helpful, ain't she?



	Bunny^Rs house was a one room cottage with a kitchen in the

back, a bed against one wall and a couch and chairs in front of the

fireplace. It was also a huge mess, (10) clothing was lying everywhere,



	$Maybe: mess with clothes lying everywhere, and



and none of it looked like it would fit Bunny. Some of it was guys

clothes and some was girls clothes.



	$guy's, girl's



	A groan came from the bed, Maya went to see who made the

noise. She pulled back the sheet to find Kensuka, who looked hung



	$Kensuke



over. He grabbed the sheet from her and pulled it back over his eyes.

	^SGo away.^T He mumbled.



	$away," he



	Maya grunted, ^SWell if that^Rs the way you want it.^T

	She turned around and saw Touji and Hikari curled up in front

of the fire, both naked.



	$Wearing collars?  Dogs like to lay in front of the fire, too.



	^SWell, that explains the clothing. I^Rm sorry I missed the party.^T

She spotted the gloves on the couch and picked them up.

	Maya gave the gloves the to Bunny who was outside winding

her watch. Bunny snatched the gloves and was off.

	^SNow what?^T said Maya. She thought about Alice some more.

Alice found a potion in the Rabbit^Rs house that made her grow. Maya

walked back into the house, on the table was a small bottle of red



	$house.  On the



liquid, just like in the book. Maya picked up the bottle and headed out

the back door and into the woods.

	Maya eyed the bottle cautiously, in the book the liquid made

Alice grow huge; Maya was already huge, and not in a way she liked.

Maybe here this stuff would make her breasts shrink. She took a small

sip, the liquid was sweet. She took another sip, and then a gulp.  A few

sips later she was giggling and walking erratically. The liquid was liquor

and was going straight to her head.

	Maya was getting tipsy and so didn^Rt notice that the forest

wasn^Rt made up of trees, but rather huge blades of grass, flowers and

other weeds.

	Soon Maya came to a clearing where she found Hyuga lying on

a psychedelic couch and smoking from a long hose that disappeared

behind the couch.

	Maya leaned over him, he was very out of it. ^SHello?^T No

response. ^SDo you know where I can find the queen?^T She slurred.

	Hyuga shifted his eyes a bit. ^SThose are some huge tits^T



	$Hyuga:HEy, man, this is some good shit here!



	Maya giggled and hiccuped.

	^SYou^Rre looking for the queen?^T

	Maya nodded.

	^SCan^Rt help you. Anything else I can do for you?^T

	Maya sighed, ^SNot unless you know something that will get rid

of these.^T Maya pointed at her breasts.(11)

	^SWell, actually, I do.^T

	Maya smiled. ^SReally?^T

	^SSure, give me a sec.^T He leaned over the couch and fiddled

around for sometime, the smoke coming from behind the couch

changed color.

	^SSit here and suck on this.^T



	$That's a well loaded line if I ever heard one.



	Maya took the tube and took a small puff. The taste was rich

and exotic. Maya took a longer puff and settled onto the couch.

	^SAnd while you^Rre sucking on that, I^Rll...^T Hyuga lifted Maya^Rs

skirt and disappeared underneath. ^Ssuck on this.^T

	Between the alcohol,  whatever she was smoking and the oral



	$alcohol, whatever she was smoking, and



sex she was getting, Maya was soon in a state of pure bliss.

Hyuga-caterpillar^Rs skill at giving head was more than adequate and

brought Maya over the edge a couple of times. Afterwards she drifted

off to sleep.

	Maya wasn^Rt sure how long she had been asleep when she

awoke. The sun hadn^Rt moved, but then again, it hadn^Rt moved since

she got to Wonderland.(12) Hyuga was long gone, as was whatever

made the smoke, only the couch remained. Maya stood up and took

stock of herself. The breasts, as promised where gone, but she has

overdone it a bit and now resembled a 14 year old boy.(13) ^SShit.^T

Was Maya^Rs only comment at realizing she was now completely flat

chested. If only she had kept a little piece of the cookie.



	$She does have a piece of cookie.  You said so.



 Maya stuck

her hands in her pockets and considered her next move, Leaving the

forest would be a logical next step. Maya took a step, something

clinked under her skirt. This worried Maya, nothing under her skirt

should clink. She raised her skirt and took a look.

	She found that she was now wearing a chastity belt with a

sizable padlock. It wasn^Rt an authentic chastity belt, but rather like a

pair of steel panties.(14)



	$I saw a pair of those once.  There was this guy grinding on them with a

sidewheel grinder.  Oddly enough, the girl was still wearing them.  *shrug*



 It would make things difficult when she needed

to use the bathroom. Plus the chinking sound it made as she walked

was annoying.

	As she walked she put her hands back into her pockets and felt

something rough at the bottom, cookie crumbs! Maya collected the



	$Whwn Maya collected



crumbs and swallowed them, they had the desired effect of returning her

bust to it^Rs previous dimensions.



	$its



	After some time Maya came to a break in the woods. Ahead of

her were more trees and a path through the forest. She looked back the

way she came and saw that the forest she had been walking through

was gone, between her and Bunny^Rs house was only a grassy field.

Maya looked at the woods before her again. It was as if she had shrunk

down when she left Bunny^Rs house, and only regained her height when

she had crossed the field. But at that scale it should have taken days to

cross the field. Obviously physics were multiple choice in this place.



	$Obviously, physics



	Maya followed the path into the woods until she came to a fork

in the road. A signpost stood between the paths; one arm pointed to the

left and said: This way. The other pointed to the right and said: That

way.(15)

	^SGreat, which way?^T

	^SWell, some go this way...^T

	Maya turned to see who had said that. There was no one

behind her.

	^S...And some go that way.^T



	$And some swing _both_ ways!



	Maya looked up. Asuka was in the tree next to her, curled up

on a branch. She was wearing a yellow, tiger striped bathing suit with a



	$yellow tiger-striped (and personally I think bikini would be better.)



tail attached, had cat ears coming out of the top of her head.



	$attached, and had



	Maya smirked. ^SLet me guess, you^Rre supposed to be the

Cheshire Cat, right?^T

	^SMeyow.^T Said Cheshire-Asuka.



	$"Meeyoww," said



	^SCan you talk?^T

	^SOf course.^T Cheshire-Asuka smiled.

	^SCan you disappear one piece at a time, with your smile being

the last?^T

	^SDon^Rt be ridiculous. But, I can disappear, and do this.^T

Cheshire-Asuka pointed a clawed finger at Maya.

	Maya^Rs clothes disappeared in a flash, leaving her only in the

chastity belt. Maya ^Qeeked^R and put her hands on her chest. ^SGive me

back my clothes!^T

	Cheshire-Asuka grinned. ^SNope.^T

	^SDammit, furball, give me back my clothes!^T

	Cheshire-Asuka grinned larger ^SIf you do something for me, I^Rll

give them back. Okay?^T

	Maya sighed. ^SAll right. What do you want me to do?^T

	Cheshire-Asuka scrambled down the tree and sat down in front

of Maya. Cheshire-Asuka^Rs bikini disappeared and she spread her legs.

^SMake me happy.^T



	$Hmph.  Most cats can lick themselves.



	Maya froze. Was this whole world full of perverts?(16)

	^SYes. Now do as you^Rre told.^T

	^SYes, what?^T

	^SYes, this whole world is full of perverts. You^Rre a pervert too.^T

	^SI am not, and I didn^Rt say anything about perverts.^T

	^SYou didn^Rt have to, it was written all over your face. And yes

you are a pervert, everyone here is a pervert, and you^Rre here, so you

must be a pervert.^T

	^SThat doesn^Rt make sense.^T



	$I thought it did.



	^SDo you want your clothes back, or not?^T Cheshire-Asuka

pointed at her crotch.



	$No, not really, she kind of liked being an exhibitionist.



	Maya gave up. She settled in between Cheshire-Asuka^Rs legs

and went to work. Cheshire-Asuka wanted Maya to make her happy,

then Maya would. But she would spend an hour or so begging for it

first.



	$If you're going to call this a lemon, make it a lemon.  This is just lime.

Drag it out, invest lots of adjectives, that sort of thing.  _Describe_ it.

Otherwise, just leave it lime.



	Since being introduced to the sport in college, Maya was a

champion muff-diver. If it was added to the Olympics she would be a

gold medalist.(17)

	Maya started at the thighs. She started with soft touches and

kisses there and slowly moved in.



	$That's whay I'm talking about.  If you deleted this, you could call it

lime with no problem.  As it stands, it's just a really mild lemon that

might as well not be.



She tried to put out of her mind the

fact that she was performing oral sex on a girl under the age of consent.



	$Well, least wise in that Asuka was rarely agreeable around anyone.



But then again, this couldn^Rt possibly be real.

	Maya went slow, kissing, sucking, biting, occasionally using

fingers, sometimes her whole hand. Judging by the sounds

Cheshire-Asuka was making she was succeeding in her mission.



	$making, she



	Maya stopped after Cheshire-Asuka came down from her tenth

orgasm. She sat back on her heels and licked her fingers.



	$Who sat back?



	^SNow, give me back my clothes.^T

	Cheshire-Asuka raised her hand and pointed at Maya. Maya^Rs

clothes reappeared the same way they had vanished.



	$(#)  Only in reverse.



	Maya stood to go, smoothing her skirt and composing herself.

^SI don^Rt suppose you could get rid of this for me?^T Maya lifted her skirt.

	Cheshire-Asuka sat up and stretched. ^SNope. You need a key

to get rid of that.^T

	^SKey? Of course!^T Maya rooted around in her skirt. ^SKey.

Key. Key. I had a key, where did it go?^T

	Cheshire-Asuka held up the tiny key. ^SYou mean this?^T

Cheshire-Asuka held up the key Maya found at the beginning.

	^SThat^Rs mine, give it back please.^T Maya held out her hand.

	Cheshire-Asuka smiled like the proverbial cat. ^SI^Rll give it back

if you make me happy.^T

	Maya threw up her hands exasperation. And then got back to

work.(18)



	$Much better way of describing it.



	The key didn^Rt fit. Maya all but screamed in frustration.

Cheshire-Asuka disappeared with a laugh.

	^SI^Rve read ^QAlice In Wonderland^R and there were no chastity

belts involved.^T Maya grumbled.(19)



	$They weren't mentioned out of politeness.



	Another hour or so of walking brought her to a clearing in the

forest. In the middle of the clearing was a big brass bed under a

parachute canopy.(20)

	Sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but a top hat with a condom

stuck in the band, was Misato.



	$Used?



 Sitting on the opposite side of the bed,

smoking a cigarette, was Kaji. He had that ^Qcat who screwed the

canary^R look.

	^SUhm, excuse me?^T

	Misato looked over at Maya. ^SWhat do you want?^T

	^SI^Rm trying to get out of this crazy place.^T

	^SSorry, can^Rt help. But you can climb up here and join us if you

want.^T

	^SUh, not today, thanks.^T

	^SSquaaak!^T Pen-pen popped up from the far side of the bed.



	$Generally, Pen^2 'wark's.  However, he may just be hard up.



Misato scratched him under the beak.

	^SNot exactly a tea party.^T Maya said to herself as she walked

off.(21)



	Maya continued along the forest path. Her feet didn^Rt hurt, she

wasn^Rt hungry or tired. If anything the only physical sensation she had

felt since arriving here was arousal. (22)



	$A common one in every day life, too, especially when Ritsuko starts

talking in abstract scientific terms.  That was always a big turn on for

Maya.



	Maya pushed these thoughts aside as she came out of the forest

and into a beautiful garden. As expected there where maids painting red

roses white. Maya walked closer. She saw that each and every one of



	$Hmm, Maya walked closer and saw that...



the maids was a Rei clone. And each one of them was wearing nothing

but an apron.

	Maya walked in amongst them and took a moment to admire all

the supple, youthful, flesh around her.



	$supple, youthful flesh



	^SWhat are you doing?^T

	One of the Rei^Rs looked up at her. ^SWe^Rre painting the roses.^T



	$Reis  Rei's being the possesive form or Rei.  Multiple Reis would be Reis.



	^SWhy?^T

	^SThe queen likes red roses.^T

	Maya frowned. ^SSo why are you painting them white?^T

	Every single Rei looked towards Maya and, as one, in the most

saccharine sweet tone imaginable said, ^SSo she^Rll punish us.^T



	$Good reason.  Makes perfect sense to me.



	Maya stood agog as the Rei^Rs went back to painting. Maya^Rs



	$Reis



weird-o-meter, which had been going further and further to the ^Qweird^R

side, had just pegged. Nothing that happened after that could be more

weird.(23)

	Maya passed through the garden and into a hedge maze. She

wandered awhile until she was hopelessly lost. She tried to work her

way back to the beginning and only made things worse. She wandered

aimlessly until she came across Shinji and a couple of the Rei-maids.

There was a wheelbarrow and various gardening tools scattered around

and one of the Rei^Rs was shoveling fertilizer around the base of one of



	$Reis



the hedge bushes.



	$Ah, 'shoveling fertilizer'.  That's a new one on me.



	The other Rei and Shinji were plowing. At least they where

doing something that could euphemistically be referred to as plowing.



	$Planting seeds, anyway.



The Rei doing the shoveling occasionally glared at her ^Qsister^R.

	Maya waited politely until they finished. The voyeuristic part of

Maya enjoyed the show, particularly the way Shinji would clench his

butt cheeks on each downward stroke, and based on the sound she

was making, Rei seemed to be enjoying it from the other end.

	When it was over Rei straightened her apron and Shinji pulled

up his pants and they both went back to gardening.

	^SDo you know the way out of the maze?^T

	Shinji and the Rei^Rs looked up at her.



	$Reis



	^SOf course.^T Shinji said. ^Sjust go straight that way..^T He pointed

to the left of himself, ^SThen a right and then two lefts and another right

and a left and another right and straight past the next two rights and

three lefts and then another right and two more lefts and a right and past

the next left and then a right you can^Rt miss it.^T



	$a right.  You can't



	Maya^Rs head spun. ^SI^Rm sorry, that^Rs too complicated, do you

think one of you could take me there?^T

	Shinji pushed one of the Rei^Rs, the one he had just been with,



	$Reis



towards Maya. ^SShe^Rll help, won^Rt you?^T He smiled at the Rei, who

took Maya by the hand and led her along the path.

	After awhile they exited the maze. Right where Maya had come

in, A dozen or so Rei^Rs where still painting roses. Before Rei could



	$Reis



vanish back into the maze Maya grabbed her by the wrist.

	^SI meant that I wanted to get to the OTHER side of the maze,

where the palace is.^T

	^SYou should have said so.^T

	^SWill you please take me to the other side?^T

	Rei tilted her head and regarded Maya with a curious

expression. ^SWhat^Rs in it for me.^T

	Maya resisted the urge to groan. ^SWhat would you like?^T head,

probably.



	$Head, probably.



	Rei^Rs gaze drift up and down Maya. ^SYour dress.^T



	$See?  Here you'd leave it alone.



	^SWhat?^T

	^SI want your clothes.^T

	Maya looked down, it was a plain dress, not very interesting.

But then again, all the Rei^Rs only wore aprons.



	$Reis



	^SAll right.^T It^Rs not like any of this is real.

	Maya slipped out of the dress and handed it to Rei.

	^SThose too.^T Rei pointed at Maya^Rs stockings and bra.

	Maya handed those over as well. Rei gave Maya her apron and

put on the dress.

	^SThis way.^T

	Rei led Maya through the maze, past the other Rei who was

taking her turn under Shinji. It was a wonder they ever got any work

done. Maya wondered briefly if he got his pick of Rei^Rs or did he work



	$Reis



with the same two all the time. And could her tell them apart?



	$he tell   Probably not.



	Rei led Maya to the castle on the other side of the maze. Maya

stared at the castle, it wasn^Rt a typical Europeon castle. It was a modern



	$castle, which wasn't like a typical



mansion with a manicured lawn and a huge swimming pool.

	Gathered around the pool and over the lawn where a couple of

dozen people. Many Maya knew. Misato was there, sunning herself by

the pool, wearing nothing but her hat. Hyuga was there, along with

watever he had been smoking. Several Reil milled about serving drinks,



	$whatever he...  Reis



Cheshire-Asuka was there, avoiding the pool. Kensuka, Hikari, and



	$Kensuke



Touji were there in swim suits. Dress seemed to range from casual to

none at all.

	Maya aproached the party, keeping an eye out for the queen.

The apron she wore seemed like a cloak of invisibility, no one here

would spare a maid a first glance, let alone a second.

	That is until.... Something popped against Maya steel covered

butt hard enough to make her jump. Maya spun around, to give

whoever it was a piece of her mind, only to be confronted by the queen.

	The queen turned out to be Ritsuko.(24)

	Maya drooled at the sight before her. Ritsuko was dressed to

the nines in an ensemble straight out of the Trashy Linegerie



	$Lingerie



catalog.(25) From the bottom up: White stileto heels, white fishnet

stockings, a little tiny bit of white cloth that only qualified as panties

by

default, white garter belt, white leather bustiar, long white gloves, and a



	$bustiar...  Hmm, I'm not sure if that's the right spelling or not.



white lab coat over it all.



	$The coat really did it.



 And everything she was wearing had little red

hearts everywhere.  She was also holding a riding whip and tapping it

rythmicly against her palm. Basically, it was the outfit Maya had bought

her for her birthday.(26)

	Ritsuko eyed Maya apreciativly. ^SI haven^Rt seen you around

before.^T

	Maya gulped. ^SI^Rm not actually from around here. I^Rm trying to

get out of this world. And get this off.^T Maya pulled her apron aside to

show off the belt.

	Ritsuko looked closely at the chastity belt. ^SHey, that^Rs mine!^T



	$Who didn't see that one coming?



	Maya facefaulted.

	From the pocket of her lab coat Ritsuko produced a white

collar with a bell on it and a leash. Before Maya could protest she found

her apron on the floor and the collar around her neck.

	^SI want you to pretend to be a kitty cat for me, okay?^T

	^SHey! That^Rs my job!^T Cheshire-Asuka apeared out of

nowhere.

	^SHush, girl. Go away.^T Cheshire-Asuka slinked away, fuming.

Ritsuko turned back to Maya, ^SCome with me.^T Maya had no choice

but to follow, since Ritsuko clipped the leash onto the collar.

	Maya was led past the party, where she drew many apreciative

stares, and into the mansion.

	Following Ritsuko up the stairs would have been a more

enjoyable experience if the lab coat didn^Rt block her view.



	$Anticipation helps.



	The queens chamber was straight out of a 60^Rs porno



	$Queen's



nightmare. Shag carpeting, lava lamps, round rotating bed, and



	$round, rotating



everything had some sort of heart motife.



	$motif.



	Ritsuko led Maya to the bed and pushed her down. Then she

rumaged around in a drawer until she produced a key. The lock on the

chastity belt snapped open almost as soon as the key touched it.

Ritsuko removed the belt and put it away in the drawer. Then she

turned back to Maya. Her gaze was hungry. She pulled Maya close to



	$Maya, her gaze hungry



her and kissed her hard. Her hands roamed down Maya^Rs torso

towards...



	The alarm clock on Maya^Rs bedside table went off with a clang.

Maya reached out and slapped the offending device accross the room.

^SDammit! Just when it was getting good!^T



	$As many people have screamed year after year...  'Damn the alarm clock!'



THE END.

(Please don^Rt kill me.)







(1) Those are always around when you aren^Rt looking.

(2) The Bill & Ted lawyers are on the phone.

(3) Irony, for example.

(4) Except herself, of course

(5) At least, we assume they don^Rt

(6) a pat on the head if you can name the refernce

(7) never argue with a celestial body



	$But drool and stare when you can.



(8)  think of birth control pills. Now stop.

(9) That is, on the ears and tail

(10) Housekeeping is not noted as a rabbit skill.

(11) other than surgery, that is.

(12) except when it pointed at the door.

(13) Shinji, for example

(14) a real chastity belt is like a steel g-string with a knife, to

inconvience suitors.

For this one, check out ^SRobin-Hood: Men in tights^T

(15) The sign painters union had gone on strike the week it was put up

(16) Yes

(17)And the ratings would take a huge jump.

(18) Ah, sweet torture.

(19) Not in the final draft, anyway.

(20) What were you expecting?  A banquet table?

(21) Actually, tea was served. Misato poured it in her navel and Kaji

drank.

(22) my spell checker couldn^Rt handle Horniness.

(23) any one not associated with Nerv would have pegged long ago.

Dealing with Angels and giant robots that need extension cords kinda

raises the bar.

(24) Bet that was a big surprise. Huh?

(25) Yes, there is a place called Trashy Lingerie. It^Rs on Rodeo drive in

Hollywood, and you have to make a reservation to get in

(26) But never got the courage to give to her.



*******************************************

omne ignotum pro magnifico





	$Your ignorance knows no bounds?



	Well, overall that was a pretty fun read.  The funky quotes were annoying

as all hell, but the subscripts were amusing, and the situation itself was

funny, too.  I suggest a complete rewrite, dragging it out more and

heightening the descriptions to really drive the points home.  Still, not

bad.  Definitely a fun read.





	Ragun















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