Subject: [FFML] Re: [Karekano][Lime] STILLE NACHT
From: Ukyousama@aol.com
Date: 12/27/2000, 8:15 PM
To: corrig11@pilot.msu.edu, ffml@fanfic.com



Beyond impressive, Paul...



I just got home from Christmas at Clan Kenzan (I've had better holidays, 

truth to tell), and finding this piece in here was such a joy.  It sounds 

soooo like Miyazawa and the rest.  Sure, Aya's no Linus (and BTW, the file I 

downloaded was missing a chunk that lead up to that - can you re-send me a 

copy just to make sure?), but it's beautiful.



Anyway, if I'm gonna post this to the ML itself, I gotta toss in some C&C, 

no?  Damn, but this story needs all the attention it can get, sugar.



In the year 2000 AD the Japanese Empire lay in ruins...



Granted, I'm hearing a sketch from Monty Python with that line, but 

otherwise, this tracks well with the openings of several of the later 

episodes.  Nicely done.  It's obviously *not* in the imoto-chans' voices, 

though, ne?



Christmas Eve was never that big a deal, at least not in the Miyazawa house.

What I remember of the ones when I was younger was Mom and Dad'd take us to

Grandpa's to spend the night waiting for Santa, and then disappear for the 

rest

of the night--to a love hotel, I know now, though of course they never let on

then.



You know, I'm familiar with the custom of the first sex of the New Year being 

a big auspicious deal, but is this typical for a Christmas celebration? 



Of course, it may just be the dad... he's quite the randy fella, to be sure...



He used to

tell us that he went to school with Santa and they were like _this_, which is

why we got such sweet presents. Even if we'd not been so nice, 'cause you see

_he_ had connections



Beautiful.  I can just *imagine* this.  And it just feels like something 

someone in Yukino's family would say (and explains certain aspects of her 

background)



In our house though New Year's is the big family bash. 



Yup.  BTW, needs commas around 'though'



We'll all dress up in our kimonos (Dad gets _way_ too into that--damn, he's 

creepy sometimes), 



So true... but the girls all remind him of his wife, after all...



and we'll play Uno and watch them ring the temple bell on TV at midnight.



No mention of Kohaku Uta Gassen?  C'mon, sugar... it's like not watching Dick 

Clark @Times Square...



New Year money is nice too. Bite me, I'm materialistic.



Indeed you are, Yukinon.  ^_^  Absolutely beautiful work, Paul... even if she 

*does* sound like one of the 'bots on Mystery Science Theatre 3000.



That, and it's evidence that he's in awe of me sometimes. Heck, who needs sex

when you can get that, huh?



Just kidding. I'm a recovering glutton for praise and I plan to stay on the

wagon.



A little more tell than show, but it *is* very Yukino...



"Yes! YES! I'm free! I'm free! No more sitting home babysitting Tsukino and

Kano while the crumblies run off to relive the early years of their marriage

while poor little me sits all lost and alone on Christmas Eve!" And I start

laughing like a maniac and doing a victory dance until Arima tells me people

are staring and I really should stop. 



Cue super-deformed Yukino-chan doing her thing...



So I did.



Or not.  ^_^  Nice abrupt stop, too.



"No. Where do you work at?"



"One of the love hotels on the outskirts of town."



I about fell out of my chair. "You work _where_!?"



"One of the love..."



"No! I mean, is that _legal_ for you to work there?"



You know, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he *did*.  Nice Abbott & 

Costello-type reply on Asapin's part: you just *knew* that was coming.



As for me I was amazed Arima could still eat. I had the image stuck in my 

head

of Asaba helping Mom and Dad check into their hotel. Thank you sir, thank you

ma'am, room 69, second floor! Hey, Hideaki, check out what the Miyazawas left

behind!



Well, Arima's not the one with parents going to a love hotel.  And you picked 

that room number on purpose, didn't you, Paul, you sly devil!  ^_~



"What I want to know," said Arima, not even bothering to look up from his 

rice,

"is why you string them along like that."



Asaba perked up and beamed at Arima from ear to ear. "Because I can, silly."



I just love these characterizations, Paul.  Perfect.  You'd think you had 

translated copies of the manga... if ya do, where can I get some?



Uh... that didn't come out right...



at one of the few caf�s in town we're still allowed into with Tsubasa

around.



Always wondered about whether the girls would get banned from the local 

eateries for Tsubasa's behaviour....



"Like what?" Tsubasa piped up. Actually honked up. 



Wow, first you have Yukinon *acting* in SD-style, and now you're able to give 

Tsubasa that SD sound effect that crops up from time to time...



She always sounds like she

has a cold when she talks, which isn't all that often.



Well, in the subtitled version, anyway  ^_^



"Listen, goody-two-shoes," Maho said, "if

you actually had a man you'd know that the two _really_ most desirable things

about a guy are, one, lots of cash, and two, enough experience to be able to

last more than sixty seconds at a time



Maho's probably the only one about whom I'd argue your characterization.  I 

know you say she's joking here, so the fact that she comes across like 

Heather Chandler rather than, say, Juri Arisugawa, can be explained, but 

still... she's not the type for kidding around, either.



Still, other than that, I like the story about how it all gets told.



Tsubaki went white and said, "I'd say you've got about ten seconds to say you

were shitting us about Arima 'never having trouble,' that, or get at least 

five

klicks away from here."



'That, or...' should be a new sentance; that, or use a semicolon.



Rika didn't look happy about that. She folded her arms and poutede counted, 

so

Mary and Joseph



Okay, how much did I miss here?  The most important bit in the story (well, 

if ya ask Sparky [well, if you *could* ask Sparky - geez, I miss him]), and 

it's been cut out.  What gives?  Can you re-send? Or does anyone else have 

the full version?



"I have a question."



"What, Tsubasa?" asked Aya.



"Where does the cake come in?"



"Check please."



Typical Tsubasa.  Check, please...



Oh, since you're just dying to ask: Miss Miyazawa was wearing a red ribbed 

polo

shirt with 3/4 sleeves, and black slacks with horizontal slash pockets; her

ensemble that evening would be complemented by her nicest black flats, a

black velvet jacket her daddy got her in a moment of indulgence, and her

winningest smile. Her hair was held in place by a sparkly snowflake barrette.



Oh, you weren't dying to ask? Well, tough noogies.



Hee-hee-hee...



Not quite in voice for her, if you ask me, but maybe that's just the 

subtitler I got my KareKano from.  Cute, though, and funny, so I'll let it 

slide.



"Arima!" Dad flipped out. Again. Gets annoying after a while. "I want you to

take good care of my daughter! Wait! NO! Don't you _dare_ take care of my

precious daughter until it's all official or I'll do something I'll regret!"



Well, he figures that what Arima has on his mind... it's certainly what's on 

*his* mind, after all...



...and is he wrong, when ya come right down to it?  ^_^



"Good night, dear. Have fun," said Mom.



"Don't forget, Sis, use protection!" said Kano.



Little sisters...



"Oh God. This can't be my house. I don't know why we're still here. Arima,

shoes. We are leaving."



"YUKINO! My little princess! Don't let him..."



"Good NIGHT, Dad!"



Once again, beautiful.



Sometimes I almost think I really am a princess who was spirited away by

middle-class suburbanites. Dad and Mom always did plead ignorance about how

they ended up with the likes of me. Kinda suspicious.



A bit egotistical, but quintessential Yukino...



"This looks interesting. _Nanami la fillette qu�b�coise: je me souviens

l'apocalypse_..."



"Foreign film. From Canada. Oh yeah, Aya says if you take me in to see it, 

run

away."



"That bad?"



"I believe her exact words were 'sucked ass.'"



"Miyazawa! Not so loud! It can't have been that bad..."



Speaking of egotistical...



***



Geez... most of the rest of this, I could just quote and be done with it.  

This is really incredible.  You gotta write the New Years' bit, you just 

gotta.  You're doing this show plenny justice, now we just need more of your 

work.



It's a wonderful Christmas present.  Thank you.



Itsu mo,

Ucchan  ^_^







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