Subject: [FFML] [Iczer/Orig][Short] Companionship
From: Andrew Dynon
Date: 12/27/2000, 3:50 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Just something that popped into my head overnight.  I wrote it for myself,

but decided I may as well send it to the FFML.



COMPANIONSHIP

A tale of the far future of the Lightsphere saga

By Andrew Dynon

Any and all C&C needed.  MSTs appreciated.



Based on the Iczer series by Toshiki Hirano

* 	*	* 	* 	*



Most people would call this planet uninhabitable.  It is, for most races

apart from my own.  It is blisteringly hot, highly radioactive, and has a

toxic atmosphere and acid seas.  Strangely, there is evidence that this was

once the homeworld of another, long-dead race.  I have no sympathy

whatsoever for them, whoever they were.  If they turned their planet into

this, they deserved to be wiped out.  And yet, with its boiling oceans and

the deep gorges where acid rivers run, it has a beauty that is completely

unique.  Truth be told, I'm ecstatic that my race chose this as their

homeworld.



Okay, so, technically, Kalra isn't the Iczer homeworld.  That honor goes to

Tshela.  But we left Tshela untouched in order to preserve its environment

- an old joke is that we only use it for making love to our partners on.

All our technology, infrastructure and everything else is located either in

space or on this planet.



"Out here again, Tariyu?"  I know without looking who it is, but I feel

it's polite to stand up and turn to face her.  Not that I'm in the mood to

be polite at the moment.



"Athene-oneesama."  She stands, smiling, her long, thick black hair blowing

freely in the wind, contrasting with the white bodysuit she wears.  When I

first met her, she told me how she was named after a warrior-goddess from

Nagisa's original homeworld.  Many of my sisters are named for goddesses

and heroines of legend - I myself am named for a legendary queen from Ishua.



"How are you holding up?"  She asks, concerned.



"I can handle it."  I reply, somewhat defiant, not feeling nearly as strong

as I want to sound.



"Liar."  Athene says in mock-scolding.  Damn.  I don't want to talk about

this.  Even to her.  I just want to think about it alone for a while.

"Let's sit down."



Her words are an invitation, but, even though I don't want to sit down and

talk to her, I feel I have to.  Damn you, Athene.  You really know how to

make me feel guilty, don't you?



	"You know that I went through the pain you're going through."  She says.

Oh, she's so sympathetic.  Show me some sympathy by leaving me be, will you?



	"Yeah.  Centuries ago.  I doubt you even remember it."  I watch as anger

flashes upon her face for a moment... and then clears away.



	"I'll always remember it, Tariyu.  The death of my partner, Kalyla, was...

well... the sorrow was as great as the joy I felt when I synchronised with

her.  Then, she reincarnates, and grows old again, dies again, reincarnates

again... every time the pain gets worse."  There is no way the pain in her

voice is anything but genuine.  Maybe I was a bit too nasty with that last

comment of mine, but right now I don't care.



	"So the pain from Loru dying the first time wasn't enough?  Why do I have

to have it repeated over and over, just so I can synchronise?  If that's

what happens, what's the point?"  I yell despairingly.



	"Well, Tariyu..." Athene says to me in her "mentor" voice, "How did you

feel about Loru?"



	"That is so obvious!"  I respond derisively.  "I was in love with her,

wasn't I?  The same way all of us who have partners feel about them!"



	"And that's the reason."  Athene says, looking... well... smug.  "You

loved her, so you need to feel the pain of losing her.  The alternation of

love and sorrow... it's what saves us from our death wish."



	"I don't have a death wish!"  I fire back angrily.  What the hell is she

thinking?



	"No, but you're only young."  Athene responds, calm as ever.  "But,

still... you've fought, and you've seen our sisters killed in battle,

haven't you?"



	"Yeah.  I've been fighting for sixty years now."  Fighting for sixty years

against a powerful, implacable enemy, seeing dozens of Iczers, dozens of my

sisters, killed in many ways.  Quickly and brutally, slowly and

painfully... I'm not some novice just out of her training!  I know exactly

how terrible this war is, even for a race of warriors.



	"It's something the shorter-lived races don't feel.  When you're fighting

and killing all the time, you begin to wish to die yourself, to escape from

that life.  The trinity were forbidden by their programming from

deliberately dying, but we Iczers have free will now, since we left the

Kthulhu and made our own civilisation in this galaxy.  We can choose to die

if we wish.  But that synchronisation, that love... it's what keeps us from

making that wish.  The pain of loss is the price we pay for our desire to

live."



	I don't respond.  I want to, but I can't think of anything to say.

Finally, Athene stands up.



	"I'll leave you alone, now.  I won't stop you from mourning her any

longer."  She teleports away.  But I don't want to mourn, right now.  I

don't do all my mourning at once, it comes in fits and starts.  Right now,

I want to shed my bodysuit and dive off the cliff into the acid ocean

below.  I am an Iczer - the ocean cannot harm me, any more than it has any

other time I've done this.



	So, I strip, and dive, and feel the warmth of the ocean on my naked body.

The feeling of the ocean is relaxing to me.  I can feel my body being

cleansed, and with it, the weight on my mind being melted away, at least

for the moment.  I am going to synchronise with Loru again, and I'm going

to watch her grow old and die again.  The pain's going to get worse, so

I'll have to learn to bear it better.  But that's better than dying because

I don't give a damn any more.



END





Okay, as I said at the beginning, this one just popped into my head.  It's

set in the far future of the Lightsphere universe.  If I ever get as far as

I'm planning, the Iczers will leave the Kthulhu, and create their own

civilisation in another galaxy.  I'm fascinated by cultures and beliefs as

well as being a big Iczer fan, so naturally the question "What would a

planet full of Iczers be like?" is a very interesting one for me.  This fic

provides a glimpse into my thoughts on their lifestyle and beliefs.



_____________________________________________________________

Andrew Dynon



There are certain sincere practitioners who, out of ignorance 

and lack of contact, believe only in their own religion and 

consider other religions wrong.  In some cases it is the result 

of teaching, but usually it is due to lack of contact, lack of

awareness and real understanding of the deeper value of the other

tradition.  Once you realise that there are wonderful people 

among Christians and Muslims, you automatically develop an 

appreciation for their tradition.

	- The Dalai Lama, _The Transformed Mind_ 





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