My apologies to all and sundry for my tardiness. Real Life has been a
real, live bitch for the past few months. Attached is a revised version
of Part VIb of Comes the Cold Dragon. Some of the changes are quite
small, other are significant. Most of the significant changes occur
after Ranma's fight with Tarou.
Part VII was nearly finished when the work got interrupted by
circumstances over which I have little control, but I think I can get
back to work on it this week. Hopefully, I can have it out to
pre-readers by the middle of next week, this is based on the assumption
that there are no further interruptions. That looks pretty iffy at the
moment, but I will do my best.
Don Granberry.
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: CtCDPrtVIbR3.txt
-- Desc: Unknown Document
[A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: In the process of writing this
piece, I discovered that I would have to make rather peculiar
use of the Japanese word "ryuu" which means "dragon" in
English. Fortunately, Japanese has a handy synonym for
"ryuu." It is "tatsu." Unlike the English terms sometimes
used in lieu of the word "dragon," such as "worm" or
occasionally, "leviathan," tatsu means dragon and nothing
else. You will understand all of this as soon as you run
across my usage of it in the story.
Also, prior to Japan's adoption of the metric system
they used a number of units surprisingly similar to the
English units. I will be using two of them in this part of
the story. One unit is the "shaku," equal to 11.9" or 30.513
cm. Each shaku is divided up into ten units called "sun"
(pronounced "soon.") These units of measure are still used
for certain things, particularly when dealing with one's own
"kamae" or "distancing" and when talking about the sizes of
traditional weapons.
One of Ukyou's favorite epithets is "aho." Other
characters use this as well, including Ranma, but Ukyou uses
it more often than the rest. "Aho" is generally translated as
stupid, but it carries some connotations that are rather
stronger than "stupid." It falls more into the category of
the English, "dumbass."
Pantyhose Tarou uses the word "okama" as an epithet
for Ranma. I have seen this translated as "cross-dresser" and
"fem-boy." Neither translation does this epithet justice.
Rather than use a false translation, or commit the sin of
political error, I have opted to simply use the Japanese word
without explication, thus allowing readers to infer for
themselves what the term means.
One final note. Unless you really can do the Kachuu
Amaguri-ken, don't try any of this stuff at your local
tavern. Such an experiment could have a singularly adverse
effect on your health.]
COMES THE COLD DRAGON: PART VIb
Ranma jogged, rather than sprinted towards the
school. He wanted to arrive there well warmed up, not winded.
(We'll start with the Umisen-ken. I wanna get Nabiki
out of the way before we whip his ass.)
(Okay, Saotome, but I want the first real pass at
him!)
(Believe me, I would love to do it that way, but he's
got a at least a two sun reach on our male half! He's gotta
have at least three sun on our girl half, maybe four!)
(Yeah, but you know how he likes to stick his left
out, then tries to surprise us with his right?)
(Oh, I see what you're up to! Then if we block his
right fist with our elbow just below his knuckles...)
(He's big time hurt and it will slow him down a
bunch.)
(Just be sure you use our elbow and not our head,
okay? This guy can hit!)
(I know that, Saotome! But once we've got his arms
good and sore, we can go to work on his legs.)
(Hey, don't pass up a shot at his legs if you get it.
He's too good to play with, Red.)
(Okay. Then the first time I'm in under his guard, you
be ready to take over and surprise him with the extra reach.)
(You got it! Sounds like enough plan for now to me,
Red. We don't wanna get locked into any one thing.)
(Gotcha!)
Ranma slowed as he neared the school, being careful to
stay behind the walls. Once he was near the athletic field,
he jumped up to get a brief peek over the wall.
(She doesn't look hurt, Saotome.)
(Yeah, I saw. So far so good. Ready?)
(Steady!)
(Go!)
Ranma performed all the "ingei", or hand motions
necessary to invoke the Umisen-ken, then jumped over the
wall.
-------------------
"You're hurting my arm!" Nabiki shouted at Tarou.
"Aw shutup, witch! I haven't started hurting you,
yet."
"You'd be well advised to let me go, you know."
"Yeah? What makes you say so?"
"The archers."
"Archers!" Tarou said, sounding alarmed. "Where?"
"You mean you haven't spotted them, yet? There are at
least two of them on station by now, possibly as many as
four."
Tarou scanned the crowd now gathering around the
soccer field and spotted one of the archers Nabiki was
talking about. The tall, lanky boy had an arrow nocked, but
was not yet pointing it in his direction.
"Call 'em off, you witch!"
"I can't," Nabiki said.
"What do you mean, you can't? Call 'em off right now
or I start breaking your fingers early!"
"Do that and you'll find yourself bristling like a
porcupine!"
Tarou's answer was to twist Nabiki's arm up a little
higher behind her back.
"Ow!" Nabiki screamed. "That hurts!"
Tarou's danger sense immediately informed him that
Nabiki had not been lying. There had to be at least three
archers within bow shot, probably four, all of them now
aiming at him.
"So how come you can't call 'em off?" Tarou growled.
"They don't work for me!" Nabiki said, blinking back
her tears. "There are people around here who have a vested
interest in my well-being."
"So they'd risk hitting you just to get me, huh?"
Tarou asked with a sneer. "What kind of idiot do you take me
for?
"Don't be a fool! Ouch! There isn't much risk to me at
this range. The poorest shot in the group is second dan Heki-
ryu. You will die if you hurt me!"
Tarou looked around hoping to spot the hidden archers,
then sensed a swift, unseen movement. Another half-second
later he realized that he no longer held a hostage. Nabiki
was gone and his right forearm was throbbing painfully. Thus
preoccupied, it took him several more seconds to realize that
he was also standing in the middle of Furinkan's soccer field
without so much as a single stitch of clothing on his body.
The crowds gathered around the field began to cheer and
laugh.
-------------------
Sixty meters away, near the edge of the field, Ranma
broke the Umisen-ken and thus became visible to everyone in
the area. He unfurled the furoshike with an adroit flourish,
and suddenly, Nabiki Tendo was standing in front of him. The
crowd went wild with applause.
"You've been chasing Happosai around too much,
Saotome!" Nabiki said with a growl.
"Oh...uh...Sorry, Nabiki," Ranma said as his face
turned a little pink, "Would ya mind puttin' these on my tab?
I don't think I'm gonna get back in good shape."
"I had an extra pair in my purse!" Nabiki said as put
her hands on her hips. "If you had just thought to ask!"
"Ah...gee...I..."
"Haven't you still got some work to do, Saotome?"
Nabiki asked.
"Yeah...ah...look...I...."
"Just don't tease me like that again unless you're
going to please me, Ranma."
Ranma blanched, then turned and sprinted towards the
fuming Pansuto Tarou. The air around him darkened as he went,
causing a cloud of mist to form around him, then he suddenly
changed into his girl form. Nabiki, having had a great deal
of practice watching ungodly fast martial artists engaged in
furious combat, noticed that he changed forms well before the
mist closed in around his male form. Chills ran up her back.
"I wonder if he even noticed?" Nabiki muttered aloud,
not realizing that her cohorts and minions had just arrived
at her side.
"Noticed what, Boss?"
"Are you all right, Boss?" another asked.
"What's it like being rescued by Ranma, Nabiki-san?"
"Not bad," Nabiki said with a cold smile, "It beats
the living daylights out of being held hostage."
The girl watched as Nabiki's face reddened slightly
and smiled to herself.
-------------------
After what can only be described as an interminably
long and sickening ride, the paddy wagon stopped, then backed
up a few meters, then stopped again. The driver got out and
banged on its side with his fist.
"Okay," the sergeant said in a loud voice, "We're
here. Open both the back doors, Shirikawa."
Shirikawa unlocked, then swung both the heavily
armored doors open, only to be greeted by the scene of a high
school soccer field. Swarms of students and other local
people were seated around the field's edge. In the middle of
it, a deliciously cute redhead was squaring off for what
looked like an impending fight with a tall, lanky, and very
naked gaijin.
"Shouldn't we arrest that kid?" Ohga asked.
"You don't do nothin' you ain't told ta do, Ohga!" the
sergeant shouted.
Shirikawa was so stupefied by all this that Ohga found
it necessary to pull him out of the way of the armed officers
as they slowly backed away from the old man wearing the heavy
chains. All of them backed down out of the truck, taking
great pains not to trip, or to let their sights stray away
from the old man. The old man shuffled forward tiredly until
the sergeant barked for him to freeze.
"Now don't make another move, old man!"
"I won't!" the old man responded, then gave the
sergeant an evil grin. "What's the matter with you guys? I'm
just a worn out old panty thief, not Hannibal Lecter!"
This last was greeted with a grim silence, as the
uniformed officers made a show of carefully re-drawing their
beads. The old man heaved a sigh of exasperation, then looked
around.
"Sweeto! It's Ranma! And bless my soul, he's fightin'
Pansuto Tarou!"
-------------------
"Here, put some pants on!" Onna-Ranma said as he
threw Nabiki's wadded up pantyhose at Tarou. The bundle of
fine brown cloth hit the taller boy in the chest and he
caught it without thinking.
"You look like a real jerk, standin' around naked in
public!" Onna-Ranma added.
Tarou held the hosiery by the thumb and forefinger of
his right hand, allowing it to unroll until one leg of it
fell onto the wet grass.
"You are going to suffer for this one, Okama!" Tarou
hissed through grinding teeth.
Onna-Ranma batted his eyelashes at Tarou and giggled.
"Where are my clothes, asshole!" Tarou shouted loud
enough create an echo.
"Here they are, Pansuto!" Onna-Ranma said in his
cutest, girly-girl voice, then threw Tarou's clothes on the
ground between them. "It's not like you have that much to
cover up, you know."
"Oh, ha-ha!" Tarou said as he pulled on his pants. "I
am gonna whip your ass, then I'm gonna hump you until you
start likin' it!"
"With that little thing?" Onna-Ranma asked, striking
one of his more infamous, fold-out poses.
"You are going to suffer, plenty you queer bitch!"
Tarou said angrily as he pulled on his shirt.
"If you can beat me, you can eat me, Tarou," Onna-
Ranma said, then batted his baby blues at Tarou again. "I'll
even lay down and spread my legs for you."
"Damn right you will!" Tarou bellowed as he launched a
hard, left jab at Onna-Ranma's nose.
(Here comes the left, Red!)
(I see it!)
Onna-Ranma shifted her head slightly to the left
allowing Tarou's jab go by, then used the chestnut fist on
the inside of Tarou's left arm, just above the elbow. This
meant of course that Onna-Ranma was spending valuable time in
the path of Tarou's follow-up punch, a hard, right-cross.
Onna-Ranma had planned to block this second punch, which
Tarou invariably threw in the opening of a fight, with her
elbow by sticking it up just high enough for Tarou's fist to
connect, but connect between the first and second knuckles of
middle and ring fingers. Onna-Ranma's elbow was the perfect
sized striking instrument for such a ploy.
(Ow! You promised me you'd use our elbow for that!)
(There wasn't time, Saotome! At least now no one can
say we don't use our head!)
(We're still seein' stars!)
(Yeah, so what? Pansuto's hoppin' around holdin' his
hand.)
(Well don't just stand somethin'! Do there!)
Onna-Ranma ran inside the distracted Tarou's guard and
hammered his ribs just beneath his left armpit. He went down.
Onna-Ranma danced back and waited.
(You want to stomp him while he's down, Saotome?)
(Nah! There's too many people watchin'!)
(Aw!)
(Watch it! Here he comes!)
The now furious Tarou had tried to get in a wicked
left-hook that was launched from near ground level. Because
the punch failed to connect, it left the left side of his rib
cage exposed to Onna-Ranma's tiny, steel-hard fists. He took
about thirty blows before he could bring his left arm back
for a block and follow up the hook with a right-cross. Onna-
Ranma had gotten a little too fascinated with playing
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on Tarou's ribs. The right cross
paid off nicely.
(Damn that hurt! Don't stop movin', Red!)
(I ain't, Saotome!)
(I think our right eye might swell shut in a minute.)
(Shit!)
(Watch the heel sweep!)
Onna-Ranma went airborne, and got in a very solid side
kick to Tarou's forehead. Tarou went down flat on his back.
Onna-Ranma danced back out of the much taller boy's reach
again.
(We need some cold on this eye, Saotome! Think you can
do it with ki?)
(We got nothin' to lose by tryin'!)
(Ooh, that feels good.)
(He's up again! Watch him, Red! He's gonna start usin'
his feet more now.)
Tarou sprang to his feet and had is guard up before he
had even settled into a solid stance. He threw a left-jab at
Onna-Ranma's nose, followed by a truly wimpy right-cross
hoping to lure Onna-Ranma into just the right spot. Onna-
Ranma read this move and decided to spring the trap. Tarou
used the momentum and turn of his body built up by throwing
the ineffectual right-cross to bring his foot up into a
wicked, whistling roundhouse kick that would have torn Onna-
Ranma's head off had he not ducked it. Onna-Ranma ducked,
then twisted her upper torso to the left and hammered Tarou's
thigh, just behind the knee. This added a fair amount of
momentum to Tarou's kick, causing him to spin on the ball of
his left foot. Onna-Ranma took the opportunity to give
Tarou's lower spine a machine gun blast of blows just above
Tarou's waistline, then danced back as the taller boy fell
face forward into the wet grass.
(Damn, Saotome! Shouldn't he have changed by now?)
(With as much ki as he's puttin' out? The water's hot
by the time it reaches his skin. It's gotta be colder than
sweat to work, you know.)
(He's gotta be hurtin' bad by now, Saotome!)
(Yeah, but he's tough. He's gettin' up again.)
(This wet grass is givin' him fits. He can't use his
favorite footwork. I think I'll move inside, be ready to
change. Okay, Saotome!)
(Yeah, I'll be ready. Just don't lead with our chin!)
Onna-Ranma danced into Tarou's striking distance,
deliberately making a target of himself. Tarou feinted with a
left jab, the pulled his arm down in a slashing block, as his
left foot came up in sidekick powerful enough to shatter
reinforced concrete. Onna-Ranma had expected this move,
assuming that Tarou's left leg was probably the limb hurting
his opponent the least. He stepped back one full step as
Tarou's foot came up to point, then dropped into akibadachi,
and beat the center arch of Tarou's left foot like a rivet
hammer.
"Yeeeeow! Holy shit!" Tarou bellowed as he went over
backwards.
(Wait up, Red! Don't get too close!)
(I wanna be in close when he...)
Riiiiinggggg! Buzzzzzz! Rinnnnnnnng!
Tarou had sprung back from his fall with both hands
and caught Onna-Ranma with a front snap kick under the chin.
(Shit, that hurts! I toldja not to get too close!)
Riiinggggg! Buzzzzzzzz! Riiiingggggg!
(What?)
(Watch 'im, Red! Overhand right!)
Onna-Ranma ducked the overhand right, knowing full
well that a hard left-hook had to be coming up from beneath.
It was, and he just barely manage to slip the punch, losing
plenty of skin between his larynx and chin. The trade-off was
worth the lost hide. He was inside Tarou's guard again and
could hammer away at the taller boy with the chestnut fist.
He worked on Tarou's solar plexus, then dropped down to a
point about two and one half centimeters above Tarou's pubic
arch, then back up to his solar plexus. Tarou tried to answer
this sudden agony by slamming the back of Onna-Ranma's head
with his elbows. It was a fairly effective stratagem.
(Now, Saotome!)
Onna-Ranma powered up a hot flash of ki, hoping to
heat the water on his skin enough to make the change back to
his male form. It did not work as quickly as he had hoped,
and he took some truly grievous punishment from Tarou's knees
and elbows before changing suddenly to his taller, and
longer-armed form. This took Tarou completely by surprise.
Ranma's much heavier fists changed targets from
Tarou's solar plexus to his chin. Ranma hit Tarou hard with a
left-hook, followed by a right-handed uppercut that erupted
from the lower depths of hell. The taller boy started over
backwards, but Ranma did not let him off the hook on that
account. He followed the upper cut with a hard, roundhouse
kick to the side Tarou's upper thigh midway between the knee
and hip joint. Ranma could feel the ball of his left foot
press through the muscles of Tarou's leg and meet up with
bone.
"Aaaah! Damn!" Tarou screamed as he went down.
Ranma danced back out of striking range. He needed
some rest and knew that Tarou was not going to get up very
quickly.
(Saotome?)
(Yeah, Red?)
(I think he must have peeled our left ear right off of
our head.)
(Yeah, that's got me worried too. I'd check it, but it
hurts too much to touch.)
(How are the family jewels?)
(It's all I can do to stand up. That bastard is good
with his knees.)
(Think it would help if we changed?)
(Think you can handle him some more today?)
(Better than you can if we're all bent over.)
(Okay, here goes.)
(Hey! We didn't get any cold water out of that and we
changed anyway!)
(Hey, I'm just happy to lose about half the pain.)
(We got anything that's actually broken, Saotome?)
(No, but we ain't got nothin' that ain't bruised.)
(I hope that son-of-a-bitch pees blood for a week.)
(Oh, I think he will. That was a really nasty thing to
do, Red.)
(He has it coming!)
The crowds began to murmur. To many it seemed the
fight was over. Several people began walking out onto the
field but were waved back by Akane and Ukyou. As the two of
them returned to the sidelines, they were greeted by Soun,
who was accompanied by Ranma's parents.
"How's the boy doing?" Genma asked.
"Ran-chan's dishing out more than he's taking," Ukyou
said, "but he has taken a pretty good wallopin' in the
bargain."
"He changed forms without water," Akane said sounding
very excited, "I think he's gotten control of the curse."
"What?" Genma and Soun chorused.
"It sure looked like it," Ukyou said.
"Ranma changed from his girl half to his guy half in
the middle of the fight. It took Tarou by complete surprise,"
Akane added proudly.
The two older men grunted in appreciation of this
news.
"What about his right eye, Saotome-kun?"
"Doesn't look good, Tendo-kun."
"I thought it was going to swell shut on him," Tofu
chimed in, "but I think he must have chilled it using his
ki."
This startled the two older men into wide-eyed shock.
Nodoka beamed.
"Why is he in his girl form now?" Nodoka asked.
"Humiliation," the two girls chorused.
"Humiliation!" Nodoka exclaimed. "Why on earth would
he want to humiliate himself."
"He doesn't, Nodoka-san!" Ukyou answered.
"Ranma is humiliating Tarou by beating him in his girl
form," Akane explained.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said. "Is that wise?"
"Ungh!" Soun exclaimed. "I didn't think the the boy
would ever have a mean bone in his body."
"Finally, after all this time," Genma rumbled.
Soun nodded his head in approval.
Everyone else stared at Genma in outrage as it dawned
upon them why Genma had never seemed satisfied with Ranma's
training. Now they knew. He had been trying to make Ranma
mean.
Ukyou got up into Genma's face.
"A-a-ho!" Ukyou bellowed.
"Oh, no! They're fighting again!" Kasumi exclaimed.
Tofu gave her a reassuring hug.
"Don't worry, Kasumi. Ranma has been in charge of this
fight from the beginning."
"He has?" Kasumi asked. "He doesn't look as though he
has."
"It's been a very rough fight," Tofu said with a nod
of his head, "but Ranma has given more than he has received
so far."
Out on the field, Onna-Ranma was giving Tarou a verbal
beating.
"Come on, Pansuto! You lay around there any longer and
you'll get stiff," he said, then struck a provocative pose.
"'Course you oughtta be stiff after bein' around me this
long."
"I'm gonna kill you! You little okama!" Tarou growled.
"Hey! The offer still stands, Pansuto! If you can beat
me, you can eat me!"
Tarou sprang quickly to his feet, then immediately
yelped with pain when he put too much weight on his left
foot. This gave Onna-Ranma an opening. He darted in close and
began hammering the left side of Tarou's rib cage again.
Tarou howled with rage at the pain as he stepped back and
clipped the right side of Onna-Ranma's head with a reverse
ridge hand. It was not a telling blow, but made Onna-Ranma's
eyes water.
(Gotta quit stayin' in one place for so long, Red.)
(Aw, what the hell! I think he's about had it,
Saotome!)
(He's hurt all right, but he's still puttin' out lot's
of ki. He's got plenty of fight left in him.)
(Say, how 'bout a little 'Rising Dragon Chuan,'
Saotome?)
(You are one nasty little bitch, Red.)
(I'm glad you think so, Saotome!)
(Let's change. You watch our step, I'll keep monster-
boy busy.)
(Ready?)
(Steady!)
(Go!)
Again, Tarou was surprised by the sudden change in
Saotome's reach. Ranma banged Tarou's face with a couple of
stinging blows. They were not enough to stagger the taller
boy. They were just enough to make him angrier.
"What's the matter, Tarou? Disappointed?" Ranma asked
scornfully as be backed away from the onrushing Tarou.
"I am going to kill you, Saotome!"
"If you can beat me, you can eat me, Pansuto!"
(A little more left, Saotome!)
"Don't call me that!"
(There?)
(Yeah! Now a little more cold ki!)
(Enough?)
(A little more.)
(Now?)
(Yeah, that'll work! Keep him coming!)
(We're only gonna get one shot at this stunt, Red!
It'll rain right after.)
(I know, Saotome. We're doin' fine. A little more to
the right.)
Many of the people in the crowds surrounding the
soccer field realized what was about to happen. Whispers of
"Hiryuushotenhaa" could be heard by everyone who did not have
too much blood roaring in their ears. One or two of them
however, were more than a little puzzled by what they were
seeing.
"He's leading Tarou into the spiral step, Akane!"
Ukyou exclaimed as she gripped Akane's arm.
"But he's releasing cold ki, already!" Akane said,
sounding worried.
"Ummm," Soun said. "What do you think, Saotome?"
"I don't know, Tendo," Genma answered. "The boy is up
to something new this time."
"Something wicked," Ukyou said.
"This way comes," Kasumi added with a smile.
Tofu chuckled, then everyone laughed.
The crowd began to softly count down from ten as Ranma
continued to lead Tarou towards the center of the dreaded
"rasen stepu" or spiral step. They got louder as the young
titans approached the center of the pattern.
"Five!"
Tarou could barely hear the crowd and understood
nothing of what was going on, other than it made him even
angrier. His ki flared bright enough to be felt sixty meters
away.
"Four!"
"Three!"
Tarou threw another series of combinations at Ranma,
as he continued his headlong charge into the pigtailed boy's
trap.
"Two!"
"One!" The crowd was roaring now.
"HiiryuuuShooteenChuan!" Ranma's voice boomed out
across the soggy field, as he aimed a blast of frigid ki at
the ground. His voice had notes in it that no one had ever
heard him use before. They could feel it in their chests as
much as hearing it, as though someone had just started the
engines of a 747 in the middle of the field.
A shock ring of cold air ripped away from the center
of the field, blasting moisture from the grass as it went.
Within a hundredth of a second, the crowds were being stung
by a cold, howling wind laced with fine particles of ice. It
blew their hair back and nearly tore their clothes off as it
passed. More than a few were bowled over by it. Then, without
any warning, the wind reversed itself, rushing into the
center of the field. Ranma had succeeded in igniting a
convection cell which spun parallel to the ground.
Tarou found himself spinning like a top as the mix of
hot and cold air slammed into him from all sides. Onna-Ranma
calmly walked out of the maelstrom, grinning as though he had
just bought an ice-cream cone on a hot, Sunday afternoon. The
whirlpool of enraged air immediately scooped up enough
moisture from the wet ground to invoke Pansuto Tarou's curse.
This made matters worse for him because his cursed form was
much larger, giving the raging wind more to chew on. Soon it
began to suck up tons of wet grass, small stones, bottle
caps, bottles and other litter. It was like being entrapped
within a mad garbage grinder.
"Enjoy the ride, Monster-boy!" Onna-Ranma shouted as
he turned around to watch his handiwork. He made a show of
sitting down and making himself comfortable, as though he
were watching a television sitcom.
The howling maelstrom slowly formed a peak until it
was about a hundred meters high, it spewed mud, grass, water
and a howling monster, then dissipated suddenly, leaving
Chimera-Tarou spinning in mid-air . Chimera-Tarou, unable to
stop his spin, crossed his massive arms over his chest in
frustration. His rate of spin accelerated dramatically until
he became nothing more than a spindle shaped blur, far above
the ground. After a long moment, there was no longer enough
rising air to keep him aloft and he dropped like a stone into
the now naked field, splattering everyone within sight with
drops of sticky, red mud.
The crowd roared it's approval.
"Aaaw riiight!"
"Way to go, Ranma!"
"Ranma-san! Ranma-san! Ranma-san ..." the crowd chanted.
Some of the girls actually waved their brassieres at
Onna-Ranma in time with the chanting. This infuriated Akane,
but Nodoka squealed with delight. Nodoka then did something
she had never done in public before. She dropped her katana,
wrapped her arms around Genma, forcing him to bend over
backwards, then kissed him full on the lips. Ukyou became
weak at the knees and unintentionally collapsed into the arms
of Konatsu. Those near the paddy wagon could hear the frantic
rattling of heavy chains and the clicking sounds of safeties
being taken off.
Seeing his mother and father from the center of the
field, Onna-Ranma laughed.
"Congratulations, Pop. Looks like we're finally free
of the contract," he said aloud in a normal voice. "Finally
free."
Chimera-Tarou stirred, then tried to get up, but
failed.
"Well, almost free," Onna-Ranma said, even though no
one could hear him. "Looks like we got a little more to do
before we can call it a day."
(Yo, Saotome!)
(Yeah?)
(D'ya really think we got the freak's pipe trick
figured out? We've only used it once before this.)
(Yeah. He uses his ki to redirect the energy of a
strike. It's out of the Tai Chi Chuan.)
(We don't have a pipe.)
(Don't need it. We can just use our forearm.)
(You had better be right about this, Saotome!)
(Relax, will ya? I'm tellin' ya! We got it wired.)
"Better hope that wasn't your best shot, Okama, "
Chimera-Tarou said in a rumbling voice as he slowly rose to
his feet, "because you'll never be able to use it on me
twice."
Onna-Ranma stared up at Chimera-Tarou and said nothing
for a moment. Obviously, the monster-boy was still too dizzy
to launch an attack. Onna-Ranma gathered legs beneath him
into seiza, then put his hands behind his head and struck yet
another, fold-out pose.
"The deal still stands, Pansuto!" Onna-Ranma said as
though she were trying to sucker Tatewaki Kuno. "Beat me, eat
me!" The ploy worked.
"YOU...MAKE...ME...SICK!" Chimera-Tarou said, then
fell over backwards into the mud.
The crowds roared with laughter.
"Yeah, I know I did, Pansuto. Watcha gonna do about
it?"
"I'm going to hammer you into the ground like a tack!"
Chimera-Tarou said, as his ki began to flare. He struggled to
get up again, but the dizziness and the slippery mud were too
much for him. He fell with another spectacular splash.
"Hmmph! Damned near all of Japan has tried to do that
already!" Onna-Ranma said with a smirk as he got to his feet.
"It won't work."
"I'm...not...from...JAPAN!" Chimera-Tarou said as
finally rose unsteadily to his full height.
Onna-Ranma pretended to yawn, then scanned the crowd
on his left.
"Hi, Mom!" Onna-Ranma yelled and waved towards his
mother.
(That did it, Red! He's big time cheesed now!)
(What's he doing!)
(Trying to get his balance! Whaddaya think? Keep
wavin' to Mom.)
(Okay, but how are we gonna know when...)
(Just watch Mom's face!)
(I gotcha, Saotome. You really are a sneaky bastard.)
(Thanks, but I'm no match for Tofu.)
(It's not nice to do this to Mom, you know.)
(Ah, she'll love it!)
Nodoka smiled and waved back at Onna-Ranma, then her
eyes widened with fright.
(Here it comes, Red.)
(I can see, Saotome!)
Nodoka's mouth dropped open as she began to gasp. A
light sprinkling of rain began to fall. Genma quickly produced
an umbrella and used it to shelter himself and Nodoka.
(Not yet, Red! Keep wavin!)
Nodoka's hands came up to either side of her face as
she bent forwards a little. The rain became steady, but
stayed soft.
(Steady, Red! Just another second or so. Smile)
Nodoka's eyes were now wide with horror, as she began
to scream, but the real signal came from Genma's glare at
Onna-Ranma.
(NOW, RED!!)
"YAATAAA! WE GOT HIM!" Onna-Ranma chortled as Chimera-
Tarou sailed up into the rapidly lowering sky. The rain
began to fall in bucket-loads.
(Hey! I thought you said we had this wired, Saotome?)
(We do, Red! We just threw Tarou on his ass.)
(We didn't throw him nearly as high as the old freak
does!)
(So? We need a little practice. So what? Wave at Mom,
will ya? She's about to wet her pants!)
"Don't get cocky, boy!" Genma bellowed.
Hearing Genma, the crowds roared with laughter, then
broke into cheers as Chimera-Tarou slammed into the wet grass
on the far end of he soccer field.
"I ain't cocky, Pop!" Onna-Ranma shouted back at his
father as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sauntered
off towards the fallen Tarou. "I'm just good, that's all!"
Genma shook his head in disgust.
"My God, Saotome!" Soun exclaimed. "Is there anything
this boy can't do?"
"Not much, Tendo. Including getting his ass whipped
when he lets his head get too big."
Soun chuckled. Nodoka stared after her son, concern
riding in her face. Akane watched him closely as well, but
realized something the others did not. Onna-Ranma was just
acting. Despite his casual air, he was being very alert.
(Well, that got Shit-daddy's goat, Saotome.)
(Yeah, but he's proud of us.)
(What we do now, Saotome?)
(Time to do it vertical, I think.)
(Guy type?)
(Yeah, I guess we better.)
(Ooh, I just love being well hung!)
(Will you not talk like that?)
(You are such a prude, Saotome!)
(He ain't gonna sucker for the spiral step, Red. We
gotta improvise.)
(Gotcha, Saotome. I'll spot, you throw.)
(Rodger that, Red.)
(By the way, how are the jewels?)
(Well they ain't swellin' so I guess nothin's
ruptured.)
(Damn, Saotome! We're startin' to get snacky.)
(Yeah, I could do with a great big steak about now.)
Onna-Ranma's aura flared electric blue, as bright and
painful to the eyes as a welding arc, then he became Otoko-
Ranma.
"D'ya think he's heatin' the rain with his ki when he
does that Akane?" Ukyou asked.
"Can't be," Konatsu said confidently.
"There's no steam," Akane added.
Ukyou gasped. "Oh, that's right!"
Genma stared after his son with both pride and awe
filling his heart. The boy had mastered Jusenkyo. No matter
what else happened now, his son would live forever in the
legends to come. At last, the Saotome would join the ranks of
the Musashi and the Yagyu.
"_Kodomo tame ni_," Genma whispered to himself. "For
the sake of the child."
Tofu Ono bit his lower lip as concern covered his
face.
"What's wrong, Tou-chan?" Nabiki asked.
"Nothing that can be helped right now, Kasumi-chan,"
Tofu said softly, "I just hate to have Ranma-kun going
through something like this so soon. He wasn't ready for it."
"I'm sure we can pull together and help him through it
all," Kasumi said confidently.
"It will likely prove difficult, Kasumi-chan," Tofu
said in a near whisper, "very difficult indeed."
On the field, Ranma stopped just short of Chimera-
Tarou's effective reach, or kamae as it is referred to in
professional circles, and taunted the monster-boy.
"Yo, Pansuto!" Ranma called out in mocking tones. "You
'bout ready for a real workout now?"
Chimera-Tarou's still bright battle aura flared even
brighter, as he lurched up onto his massive hooves. His eel-
tail thrashed ominously as he spoke.
"Well it took you long enough to get here, Okama! Are
you nice and rested now?"
"My offer still stands, Pansuto."
"I am going to tear your head off and use your skull
for a night jar, Saotome!" Chimera-Tarou growled.
"What? You mean you know what a night jar is? I
thought you guys just used one corner of your bedrooms!"
"Gr-r-o-o-o-w-r-r-r!"
Chimera-Tarou charged. Ranma used his newly refreshed
Tai Chi Chuan skills to send him flying across the field.
Chimera-Tarou landed hard.
At the far end of the field on one sideline, Soun
Tendo shook his head and grimaced after Chimera-Tarou bounced
off the field for a third time.
"Uh-oh, Saotome!" Soun Tendo said, his voice rising in
alarm. "I've seen that look before!"
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said. "Ranma looks terribly hungry!"
"This ain't gonna be pretty, Tendo-kun!" Genma said in
a grim, rumbling voice.
"No, it isn't!" Soun added.
Nodoka bit at her nails.
Tofu stared morosely after the two young men at the
far end of the field in the pouring rain and shook his head.
Neither of them was in particularly good shape, yet both were
going after one another as though the fight had just started.
He wondered if either of them would live over it.
The sharp intake of Akane's breath got Ukyou's
attention.
"What is it, Akane?"
"Don't you see?"
"See what?"
"Tarou's ki!"
"The spiral!" Ukyou cried out with sudden realization.
"Ran-chan isn't using the spiral step, but his throws are
gathering Tarou's ki into a spiral!"
"And Ranma-san isn't trailing cold ki this time,"
Konatsu observed.
Across the field from the rest of her family, Nabiki
had noticed the same thing.
"This is going to be the mother of all
Hiryuushotenha!" Nabiki exclaimed to her cohorts, "Make sure
the photographers are ready for it!"
"Yes, Boss!" several of them chorused as they sprinted
off in different directions.
Out on the soccer field, Ranma was oblivious to any
and everything save the task before him. All it would take
was one little slip and Chimera-Tarou would have him. The
monster-boy's frustration and rage had grown to the point
that he was now mindlessly berserk.
(Where next, Red?)
(See that spot of water over there?)
(Got it! Ungh!)
(Nice shot, Saotome! One more throw and we'll have
him, I think.)
The crowds had begun to count down again.
"Three!"
(Run left, Saotome!)
"Two!"
(Watch the hammer fist!)
"ONE!"
Chimera-Tarou landed on his face this time, getting a
yet another mouthful of muddy grass in the process. He rolled
over just in time to see Ranma's triumphant face and stormy
blue eyes, now wide with fierce exultation.
"Hiryuu..." Ranma's voice boomed out again, rattling
windows throughout all of Nerima this time.
"Shoten..."
Akane and Ukyou clapped their hands over their ears
and opened their mouths. Ranma's voice was so loud a person
could not stand to put their teeth together.
"Haaaaa!"
A column of impenetrably black ki, over three meters
wide, raced up into the glowering cloud deck. It immediately
turned an opaque white as large, fluffy flakes of frozen
water and carbon dioxide formed within it. Ranma had set up a
terribly powerful convection cell. The wind began to howl,
then it began to shriek. Chimera-Tarou had just regained his
feet and thrown a right-cross at Ranma's head which was
guaranteed fatal if it landed. Ranma never so much as
blinked. He stood stock still and sneered as the terrible
wind seized the monster-boy, sucking him up and out of range.
"S-A-O-T-O-O-M-E-E! Y-O-U PRICK!" Chimera-Tarou
bellowed as he disappeared.
(Our legs are getting rubbery, Saotome.)
(Yeah, I know. We need somethin' to eat.)
The shrieking, snarling wind had begun to gouge out a
crater around Ranma, but he simply stayed in place and
watched, as though it were just a walk in a peaceful park.
(Saotome!)
(I know! We can't move! WE'VE BEEN PARALYZED!)
(What the hell's going on, Saotome?!)
(I don't know!)
(We are in deep shit, Saotome!)
(I know! Tarou's most likely gonna go for a diving
head butt this time! We gotta be able ta duck!)
(Can we move anything at all, Saotome?)
(I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'!)
(Oh, shit!)
(What?)
(Lighting! We're are about to get hit by lightning,
Saotome!)
(I'll try shieldin' us with cold ki!)
The crowds gasped en masse as great rivers of
coruscating, blue fire cascaded down out of the weeping sky
and blasted the base of Ranma's handmade tornado. The noise
was deafening, much louder than that of the tornado itself.
The air at the base of the tornado grew black as pitch. The
lightning seemed to just disappear into it. Suddenly, the air
around the base of the funnel turned white with snow, even as
the lightning continued to pour into it.
"My son!" Nodoka and Genma chorused. Genma found
himself using his free arm to hold Nodoka upright, even though
he wanted fall on his knees himself.
"Oh, Ranma-kun!" Soun Tendo said softly as his tears
mingled with the rain running down his face.
Kasumi closed her eyes and prayed to Marishiten,
Goddess of the North Star in both the Taoist and Buddhist
traditions, long considered the protectress of soldiers and
warriors.
Ukyou closed her eyes, for a moment, opened them
again, then passed out. Konatsu caught her.
Akane stood grim faced in the rain, staring hard at
the incredible violence at the other end of the field. If
there was anybody on earth capable of fending off the full
fury of the heavens, it was Ranma Saotome. She would not
believe anything bad had happened to him until she was
holding his cold dead body in her arms. She stood. She
gritted her teeth and she cried, but she neither fainted nor
flinched away from the terrible sight before her. Only later
would she realize that she had been silently performing the
ingei of Marishiten with her hands.
Across the field, Nabiki struggled to keep her face
impassive while the wind and tooth-rattling thunder lashed at
her clothes and shook her bones. A cold lump of stone had
settled into her stomach even as her heart had leapt into her
throat. The pain behind her eyes became almost unbearable as
hot, stinging tears worked their way down her cheeks, far
more noticeable to her than the cold bite of the lashing
rain. There is no way he lived through that, she thought.
He's dead. Oh my God what will I do. He's dead.
The tip of the funnel suddenly lifted up into the sky,
disappearing into the low-lying clouds. The terrible
streamers of fire stopped shortly after it disappeared,
leaving a silence that was almost as deafening as the
shrieking wind and constant thunder of a few seconds before.
The place where Ranma had last been seen, remained shrouded
in swirling mist and fluttering snow. As one's hearing
returned, all that could be heard was the quiet fall of rain
and the occasional sob of an onlooker.
"Comes the Cold Dragon," Tofu Ono said in a voice so
soft it was nearly lost in the rain as the snows settled and
the mist drifted away on the far end of the field. The crowds
gasped as the mists cleared. Where Ranma had once stood,
there was now a gleaming, blue dragon with crystalline spines
along its back, and sporting a coppery red beard.
"My son!" Genma whispered as he sank to his knees,
still holding his unconscious wife.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "He's done it again!"
"Is that...is that Ranma?" Ukyou asked in a horrified
voice.
Out on the field itself, Ranma Saotome was as shocked
as the onlookers.
(We're still alive?)
(Looks that way, Saotome.)
Tatsu-Ranma looked down and saw his reflection in a
puddle of water.
(What the hell happened to us?)
(Well, I think its safe to say we've changed.)
Chimera-Tarou slammed into the ground a few meters
away, creating a huge splash of water, mud and dislodged
grass.
(Ooh, look, Red! Surf 'n' Turf on the wing!)
(Is he still alive, Saotome?)
(Looks like it to me, Red. How long are we now?)
(Six and three-quarters sun, silly! You mean you don't
remember from the last time we measured it?)
(I'm not talkin' about that! I'm talkin' about this
new body!)
(Hmm, five meters I think.)
{Fifteen shaku, six sun.}
(Huh? Who said that, Red?)
(We did, Saotome.)
(That was weird.)
(Yeah, and I think we've already had enough weird for
one day.)
(Man! I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!)
{And its rider.}
(Bleah! Did we really say that, Saotome?)
(Try not to think about it, Red.)
(While we're THIS hungry? It actually sounded pretty
good.)
(You know, Red? You really frighten me sometimes.)
(Hey, look! Tarou's coming around!)
(You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Red?)
{Barbecue?}
(I can't believe you said that, Red!)
(I didn't say it. WE said it!)
(Let's just end this fight so we can eat, okay?)
(See? I toldja it wasn't me!)
{Eat, Drink, Man, Woman.}
Chimera-Tarou struggled to his feet, then looked
around for Onna-Ranma.
(He must think we're a statue or something, Saotome.)
(How many real dragons have you ever seen, Red?)
(Haabu?)
(He didn't look like we do at the moment.)
(Shall I give him the hard news now, Saotome?)
(Yeah. He's startin' to wonder around.)
"Yo, Pansuto!" Tatsu-Ranma said in Onna-Ranma's voice.
Chimera-Tarou snapped his head around to see where the
voice came from, only to find himself staring at a grinning
Tatsu-Ranma. His eyes bulged as his lower jaw dropped down to
about the same level as his navel.
"My offer still stands, Tarou!" Tatsu-Ranma said, then
wriggled from nose to tail. "If you can beat me, you can eat
me."
Chimera-Tarou took a step backwards. Tatsu-Ranma
followed.
"Dontcha still want a piece of my tail, Pansuto?"
Tatsu-Ranma asked, then whipped his long hard tail around.
The end of it slammed into Chimera-Tarou's ribs on the left
side, knocking him down.
(The new tail works great, Red.)
(Our tail has always worked great, Saotome!)
(Will you please ... I know! I know! I'm a prude!)
"You know Tarou, its only fair," Tatsu-Ranma said in
the deep, grinding voice that came naturally to his dragon
form, "that if you were gonna get to eat me, that I should
get to eat you."
Chimera-Tarou rolled over onto his back and let his
tentacles do the walking while he made warding gestures with
his hands. Tatsu-Ranma followed him along cautiously.
"Next time, come around and knock at the back gate,
like you're supposed to do!" Tatsu-Ranma ground out angrily.
"Not only is it wrong to pick on someone that can't defend
themselves, it's insulting to me! All you gotta do ask me for
fight if you want one, aho!"
Chimera-Tarou began to shake his head no, while still
making warding gestures with his hands. Tatsu-Ranma's smile
grew larger and he stopped following the now rapidly
retreating Chimera-Tarou.
"Feel like butting heads some more today, Pansuto?"
Tatsu-Ranma asked. "Betcha my horns are sharper than yours."
Chimera-Tarou hook his head no again as he regained
his hooves.
"Then go back to China!" Tatsu-Ranma bellowed, causing
the onlooking crowds to wince almost as a single person.
"I'll send what's left of the old freak to you once I'm done
with him!"
Chimera-Tarou leapt into the air and took to his
wings, flying westwards.
Tatsu-Ranma craned his long neck and watched until
Chimera-Tarou disappeared into the rainy sky.
{There went dinner.}
(Red, will you NOT talk like that!)
(I didn't say that! WE said that! Always thinking with
our stomach!)
(Hey! It's better than thinkin' with our...with
our...)
(With our which, Saotome? You are such a hopeless
prude!)
{Must have stones!}
(Red, why I am suddenly feeling the urge to swallow a
rock?)
(You got me, Saotome! It's the weirdest goddamned
thing I ever heard of! Are you sure we aren't just having a
nightmare?)
(I wish!)
{There! That will do nicely!}
Tatsu-Ranma lumbered over to a statue of Principal
Kuno and pushed it over, then he raked it with the five claws
in his left forefoot. The hard, gray granite of the statue
broke up into clean-edged pieces.
The on-looking crowds began cheering wildly.
{Granite is good!}
(Saotome! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE EATING A STATUE OF
KUNO's DADDY!)
(We're not eatin' it! We're just swallowing pieces of
it.)
(What's the difference?)
(I don't know! There just is!)
The cheering stopped as members of the crowd felt the
sudden urge to get in out of the cold rain.
On the far end of the field, Doctor Tofu and Konatsu
were the only ones left with fully functioning minds.
"I thought so!" Tofu said, as they all stared at
Tatsu-Ranma consuming the broken statue.
"What's that, Tofu-sensei?" Konatsu asked.
"Dragons have gizzards."
"Huh?"
"Their teeth are not made for chewing, so like birds
and crocodilians, they have gizzards."
"Ah, I see," Konatsu said. "So Saotome-dono is just
filling his crop?"
"Exactly."
"You knew?" Nabiki asked.
"Oh, hello, Nabiki!" Tofu said nervously. "I didn't
realize you were here."
"You knew this was happening to Ranma," Nabiki asked
in an ominous voice, "and you didn't tell anyone?"
Tofu Ono suddenly found himself being stared at by
several pairs of very hostile eyes.
"I can explain!" Tofu exclaimed, as he began flapping
his arms and making warding gestures.
"I think that would be wise, Tou-chan," Kasumi said in
best, mother-disapproves-of-you voice.
"I wasn't sure that I believed it!" Tofu said, sounding
frantic. "Even Ko Lon was having a hard time believing it. This
hasn't happened to anyone that we know about in last thousand
years!"
"So what exactly HAS happened, Sensei?" Nabiki asked Tofu
with a hard edge in her voice.
"In essence? It's a combination of Ranma's training, his
talent, and the stress he's been under. The Joketsu call it the
Gift of the Cold Dragon. He will be stuck in this form for only
a few days."
Nodoka's hard stare left Tofu and focused upon Genma's
face while everyone else seem to relax a little. Genma suddenly
realized that Nodoka was staring at him and flinched.
Nabiki glanced at Akane. She was shivering from the cold
and crying, but her eyes had not left Ranma. Nabiki sighed then
asked Tofu another question.
"So why didn't you say something about this before now?"
"I had only just found out about it," Tofu said with a
grimace, "and I could not be certain that it was really going
to happen. Ko Lon did not expect it to happen this quickly.
I wasn't going to say anything until I had done some more tests
and the scrolls Ko Lon had sent for arrived from China."
The faces staring at Tofu remained grim, but no longer
looked as though their owners were thinking about rope and tree
limbs. Tofu breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief.
Over at the paddy wagon, things were going a little
better. Happosai had backed into his assigned corner of the
truck without being told to do so. The armed officers
followed him inside. Shirikawa and Ohga followed them, then
locked the doors. Both men were shaking from the cold and
from what they had seen.
"You guys could at least let me congratulate my
student on his victory," Happosai said with an evil smirk.
Shirikawa's and Ohga's hair stood right straight up on
end. They exchanged a quick glance at one another, then drew
their handguns and joined the other officers in pointing
their weapons at Happosai. The sergeant banged on the side of
the truck. The driver started its engine and drove off. The
ride back to Tokyo's central jail was long, silent and grim.
Except that Happosai found Shirikawa's and Ohga's
discomfiture highly amusing.
-------------------
"So my son will be a dragon forever?" Nodoka asked
Tofu.
"Yes, I am afraid so," Tofu said. "There will be no
going back for Ranma after this, but he should be able to
return to human form in a few days."
"But is he a human or a dragon?" Nodoka asked.
"Believe, Saotome-san," Tofu said in a sad voice,
"He is very much a human being. It's just that he is now
a human on a much larger scale."
"He does not look very human at the moment!" Nodoka said,
sounding as though she were in pain.
"Is he manly, Nodoka?" Genma asked his wife.
Nodoka looked across the field where the Akane, Nabiki
and Ukyou stood around Tatsu-Ranma, stroking his scales and
tugging at his beard, then closed her eyes and shivered. The
combination of shock and the cold damp air was beginning to
overwhelm her.
"He still attracts the ladies, doesn't he?" Nodoka
said with a sigh.
"If we aren't going to go over and congratulate Ranma
on his victory, why don't we get in out of this weather, Aunt
Nodoka," Kasumi said with gentle steel in her voice.
Nodoka nodded her head.
As they left the school grounds, Mu Suu came running
up to them. He was wearing all-weather gear and carrying an
umbrella. He stopped and bowed to Nodoka, then to Kasumi, but
ignored the men.
"The Honored Elder of the Joketsu asks if you would
care to join her for an early supper, Honored Ladies."
Nodoka and Kasumi exchanged glances.
"We are greatly honored," Nodoka said to Mu Suu.
He ran around behind the two women, opened the
umbrella so that both Nodoka and Kasumi were in its shelter,
but was himself careful not to allow his head beneath it.
This of course, was a way of showing respect to the two
women. The three men glanced at one another, shrugged their
shoulders and followed along behind.
"When in Rome," Tofu said.
"This isn't Rome!" Genma grumbled as he shared his own
umbrella with Tofu. He obviously had not liked being crowded
away from his wife by Mu Suu.
"Are you willing to try explaining that to Ko Lon,
Saotome?" Soun asked, then caught Tofu's eye and winked.
"Well, I guess you have a point there, Tendo-kun,"
Genma said, "I hadn't looked at it from quite that
perspective."
"Besides that," Tofu said enthusiastically, "she makes
the best bowl of noodles in town."
Thus considerably cheered, the three men trooped along
behind the odd looking trio in the lead, doing their best to
ignore the cold rain running down their necks.
-------------------
"The truck is on its way, Ranma," Nabiki said as she
closed the cellular telephone. "Will a side of beef and a big
tuna be enough to hold you?"
"I think so, Nabiki," Tatsu-Ranma rumbled, somehow
managing to sound embarrassed.
Akane giggled.
"Now I know why you always ate like a horse, Ran-
chan!" Ukyo said with a teasing smile.
"Please, Ukyou!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled. "Don't say
horse."
"Why?"
"It makes the hunger...worse," Tatsu-Ranma said.
Ukyou gave Tatsu-Ranma a horrified stare.
"You wouldn't really eat a horse, would you, Ran-
chan?"
"A horse and rider would just about make a good meal,"
Tatsu-Ranma said, then his stomach rumbled. "This body has
odd tastes."
"The rider, too?" Ukyou nearly shrieked.
"Only if she were pretty," Nabiki said. "Right,
Saotome?"
Tatsu-Ranma glanced at Akane. She put her hands on her
hips.
"Well, Ranma?"
Tatsu-Ranma winced.
Nabiki grinned as Ukyou put her hand to her mouth in
an effort to stifle a laugh. Akane was careful to hide her
face from Ranma, but her shoulders shook.
"The more things change..." Nabiki said softly with a
shake of the head.
"You guys should get in out of this rain," Tatsu-Ranma
said, sounding concerned.
"Hey! We aren't going anywhere without our Great
Protector!" Nabiki said cheerfully. "Isn't that right,
Akane?"
Akane was still having trouble saying anything and
just nodded her head in agreement.
"Yeah!" Ukyou said, chiming in on the act. "You never
know, we might be attacked by a slavering Kuno or something!"
Tatsu-Ranma snorted. The three girls laughed.
Konatsu appeared, seemingly from nowhere at all,
bearing three umbrellas. The girls squealed with delight and
quickly made use of them, Ukyou insisting that Konatsu share
hers. It was at that moment that the delivery truck pulled
up.
"Stay very still, Ranma," Akane cautioned. "We don't
want to scare them away."
"Excuse me," the driver called out, then leered at the
three girls, "but would any of you know where a Nabiki Tendo
is?"
"That's me," Nabiki said.
"You ordered a side of beef and a large tuna, right?"
the driver asked, making it very obvious he liked Nabiki's
looks.
"Yes," Nabiki said.
"Where do you want them?"
"Right here," Nabiki said with a smirk. "They're for
my pet dragon."
"You are going to sacrifice a hundred-thousand yen
worth of beef and tuna to a statue?"
"He isn't a statue," Nabiki said, "and this is fodder,
not a sacrifice."
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked, undressing Nabiki with his
eyes. "Has he had his shots?"
"Yes," Nabiki said quite seriously, "he has. Are you
going to unload my order?"
"Yeah, if this really is where you want my load, this
where I'll give to ya," the driver said, wagging his eyebrows
at Nabiki.
"It is," Nabiki told the man, remaining unruffled.
The driver and his helper brought out a side of beef,
dropped it on the sidewalk, then fetched a large tuna from
the back of the truck. Nabiki paid them in cash, then signed
their bill of lading. The driver tried to sneak a peek down
the front of Nabiki's blouse while she did so.
"You know, Tendo-san," the driver said with a smart-
alec leer as he handed Nabiki her copy. "if you had told us
this order was for a dragon, one of us could have ridden a
horse over here for him."
"Not a good idea," Nabiki said coldly as she tucked
the paperwork into her purse.
"Oh, yeah?" the driver asked. "Why not?"
"Because I never eat a horse without having the rider
for dessert!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled, then looked at the driver
and smiled. The man did not try to run. He simply keeled
over. His helper grabbed him by the collar and began dragging
him towards the delivery truck.
"He's new around here, isn't he?" Tatsu-Ranma asked,
then took a huge bite out of the one and a half meter long,
blue fin tuna. His teeth made horrible crunching noises as
the sliced through the scales and bones of the big fish.
The unconscious driver, his helper, and the truck left
so fast they seemed to vanish into thin air.
"Whoa!" Ukyou exclaimed. "I didn't realize the butcher
shop had a transporter beam."
Akane hit Ranma on the nose with her number four
mallet.
"What was that for?" Tatsu-Ranma asked in a plaintive
rumble.
Nabiki chuckled softly. Akane's mallet seemed to be
effective whether it actually hurt Ranma or not.
"Don't be scaring the deliverymen, baka!" Akane said
in a scolding voice.
"Why not?" Tatsu-Ranma asked in a hurt rumble. "He was
bein' a jerk!"
"How long are you going to be like this, Ranma?" Akane
asked.
"Um, I'm not sure." Tatsu-Ranma said, Onna-Ranma's
voice.
"Then you are going to need something to eat tomorrow,
right?" Akane asked.
"I'm sorry, Akane," Tatsu-Ranma said using his girlish
voice again and sounding very contrite. "I'm new to the
dragon business, okay?"
"Finish your supper, Ranma."
"Yes, dear," Tatsu-Ranma said in a very meek rumble,
then gobbled up the rest of the tuna.
Ukyou and Nabiki collapsed in one another's arms in an
effort to stay on their feet.
"He sounded just like his daddy!" Ukyou squealed.
"I know!" Nabiki said, gasping for breath.
"He eats like his daddy, too!" Akane said in
disapproving tones, but she made sure Ranma could see her
smile while she said it. Tatsu-Ranma went to work on the side
of beef. The girls had to work at not showing any
discomfiture, but they somehow managed.
-------------------