Subject: [FFML] [FanFic][TM][XMAS] No Need for a Santa Clause, a Mugen Tenchi Muyo Christmas Story
From: "Joe (Chi-Ohki) McKenzie" <muriyaki@geocities.com>
Date: 12/25/2000, 7:57 AM
To: "FFML2" <ffml2@listbot.com>, "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>

            Ah, it feels good to have written something on such

a jolt of inspiration again!  I wish I had written it a little sooner

so that it could have been read on Christmas eve, but,

family and Christmas eve chores always take up ones time.

            I had a dream about a night ago, where some thoughts

of an episode of Johnny Bravo punched Santa Claus came to

mind.  That mingled with a lot of Red Bull drinks, and a gallon

of Mountain dew brought me to the conclusion of this idea

where I combined the episode of Johnny bravo with

The Santa Clause, Starring Tim Allen.  All this and my mind is

horribly mangled from searching through piles of old Golden

Books to find "The Night Before Christmas" to get Santa's

line.

            This fic is nowhere near anything like either the

episode of Johnny Bravo, or The Santa Clause, but

some of what happens in it is just plain fun.  I hope you

enjoy my little Christmas Story, I know I had a lot of fun writing

it!



                        MERRY CHRISTMAS!



(P.S. A copy of this fic can be found at my site at this address,

http://holiday.rcbooks.org, hope that URL is right!)



===============================================



NOTE: All characters original to the Tenchi-Muyo! TV1 series

portrayed in this story, as  well as all those from the

Tenchi-Muyo! Ryo-Ohki OVA series, are the sole property of AIC

and Pioneer Animation. Any appearance of them in actual life is

purely coincidental. Tenchi-Muyo! material and paraphernalia

listed within is copyright Pioneer Animation 1997. Kyoto

Minamoto, Muriyaki Kushiragi, Chisako, Chi-Ohki, and all other

related characters are the sole property of R&C Books and appear

through permission from R&C Books. If you would like to use any

of these characters in your work, please contact the licensing

department at RCBooks@hotmail.com or visit our website at

http://mugentm.rcbooks.org







                      Mugen Tenchi Muyo!

                      Christmas Special

No Need for a Santa Clause, a Mugen Tenchi Muyo Christmas Story

             By Joe McKenzie muriyaki@geocities.com







     The crisp winter air nips at Kyoto's neck as he places

the stapler up against the last length of lights and puts in the

last staple to complete his masterpiece. Thirty-seven

hours of tangled cords, broken bulbs and lights that just refuse

to light he has finished it!

     "Oi!  Next year, I really need to remember to buy some new

lights next year!" Whipping sweat from his brow, he floats down

to ground and steps inside his house.

     "I'm home!"

     "Oh good!  I just got done baking the pies!  Are your

lights working yet?  Momoko and Kyo want to see them before

they go to bed," says Ryoko, stopping briefly in her travels

between the counter and the open stove.

     "Mmmmmm..... I can smell them.... Rhubarb... with

raspberries!"  Kyoto drifting slowly into the kitchen.  His

course to the fresh baked pie is detoured when the strong arm of

Ryoko wraps around his waist and begins hauling him back out of

the kitchen.

     "No pie for you!  You haven't helped me do any of the

cooking today!"

     "But-But, I decorated!  I went all the way to America

to get us a tree!  That's gotta count for something!"

     "Yes, it does," Ryoko leans in and kisses his cheek, "a

kiss."

     "But, I should get some pie!"

     "No pie!  You didn't fix stuff the turkey, or bake the

pies, or make the rolls or-" What Ryoko would have said we'll

never know, as her words are lost when Kyoto's lips touch to

hers.

     After a few seconds Kyoto pulls away.  "Oh.... my

Kyoto..... mmmmm.... later."  With another kiss, Ryoko slips

away and back to the kitchen, leaving Kyoto to drift over to the

family room and plop down on the couch.

     However, he hadn't slumped into his chair for more than a

minute when his relaxation was shatter by a jingle jingle,

and then a THUMP!

     "What in hell?!"

     "What is it hun?  I heard something hit the roof?  Did one

of your decorations fall down"

     Groaning, and dawning his coat once more, "Yeah, probably,

or its those damn kids next door.  They thought it was cool to

pelt me with snowballs while I was on the roof.  I fell off

three times!"

     "Well, go and tell them to knock it off!  You have my

permission to blast them this time."

     "I won't blast them, just float around and scare a crap or

two into their shorts."  Smiling, Kyoto pulls on his boots and

steps outside.

     Outside, the night's sky is filled with the glow of the

6000 miniature bulbs glowing all over the outside of Minamoto

house.

     Not wasting time, Kyoto, begins to levitate himself off the

ground and up onto the upstairs roof.

     "Now, what the heck fell over here..."

     "Ho-Ho-ho!"

     "What in hell?!" Turning slowly, to not surprise the person

who just called him a ho, he comes around 180 degrees to find

himself facing a rather fat, short man wearing a red suit and

black boots.  His face was merry and he had red dimples.  And

when he laughed his belly shook like a bowl full of jelly.

     Not waiting another second, Kyoto launches a fist flying

forward, impacting squarely in the round dimpled face of the man

standing on his roof behind him.

     With a Ho-ho-whump, the fat man plummeted from the roof and

landed squarely, but softly in the branches of the large

snowball bush in the backyard.

     Right in front of the kitchen window.

     Right in front of Ryoko.

     "KY-OOOOOOOOOOO-TOOOOOOOOO NO AHO!!!!!" came piercing

the night sky, filling Kyoto quite full of dread.

     "Oh.....

fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...."



*     *     *



     Twenty minutes and some bandages a bit Tylenol and a swift

kick to Kyoto's groin later, Santa is sitting on the couch in

the Minamoto family room, nursing a gin with a squeeze of lime

and massaging his broken nose.

     "How was I supposed to know he existed!  I thought he was

only a story!" groans Kyoto, massaging his throbbing balls in

the kitchen, making occasional passes at the pie.

     Ignoring her husband, other than to occasionally

kick him again whenever he got close to the pies, Ryoko is at

Santa's side.

     "I'm sorry, Mr. Claus, I don't know what came over him...

I suppose its because my husband and I are off-worlders,

and are not familiar with all of the Christmas traditions

that he did that, or the fact that he's an IDIOT!"  Ryoko stops

her conversation long enough to send an angry glare at her

husband before continuing.

     "I guess he didn't believe that you really existed, is all.

I hope that you can accept my apologies for what happened

on the roof."

     Chuckling in that, oh-so Santa-ish style, he pats Ryoko

the shoulder and then massages his a nose a bit more.  "That's

quite all right, my dear.  No major harm done, its just a broken

nose, I'll have the sound imps take a look at it when I get

back.  But I'm afraid that I'm in no condition to continue

my journey tonight, with my nose being broken and all.  It looks

like I'm going to have to use the clause."

     Mystified, Ryoko stares blankly at Santa for a few minutes.

"The Clause?"

     "Yes, the Santa Clause, if you'll pardon the pun.  It

basically states that he, or she, who causes actions sizable

enough to make it impossible for me to complete my journey

on Christmas Eve, must take my place as Santa for the night and

finish the job.  If he or she, fails to do so, they are in

direct violation of Juraian penal code 1756-9."

     "Juraian penal code?!  I don't understand?  I thought

you were only an earth character?  How do you know about Juraian

penal laws?"

     "Simple, my dear, I am an immortal of this world, as are

there many others, and because of this fact, we have long known

that there was a Juraian government.  In order to operate and

keep all maters above board and free of union problems, we

naturally registered our operations under the Juraian board of

Holiday entities.  Thus, under the regulations of that system,

the Santa Clause was formed.  So," Santa turns his gaze towards

Kyoto, "Kyoto, must complete my journeys tonight or be arrested

under that violation."

     Startled by Santa's sudden burst of amplified speech,

the leg of ham that he was chewing on winds up instead stuck

in the ceiling with a sizable chunk left in Kyoto's mouth.

     "I have to what?"  he mumbles between clenched teeth and

ham bits.

     "You have to play Santa, simple enough.  I'll stay here and

watch over your children while you and your wife make my runs

tonight.  Its not too hard, my elves will lend you a hand."

     "But why do I have to go?" Ryoko, the last person one would

think to whine about doing anything involving Santa Claus and

Christmas, whines as loud as she can, making the glass in

Santa's spectacles rattle a tad.

     "Well, I always think it wise that if an inexperienced

husband must make my rounds, then it only intelligent for his

wife to accompany him and make sure he doesn't screw up."

     Smilingly, sheepishly, Kyoto reaches for the receiver

on his phone.  "I think I need to make some calls."



*     *     *



     At the Masaki house, Tenchi and Kiyone had just tucked

themselves under the warm blankets of their bed.  It was a very

comfortable place to be, soft, fluffy, and generally more

tolerable than the freezing temperature it was in the house.

Only that afternoon, the heater had broken down and Washu had

tried to fix it.  Whose efforts were most generously aided by

Mihoshi, and rewarded by the quick destruction of the furnace.

To make the mess doubly annoying, it had been Christmas Eve, and

just past the hour when everything had closed for the night.

     Fortunately, Nobuyuki was able to find a single heating

firm that would fix the heater, the only problem was that he

wasn't going to be able to do it until the following afternoon.

     "Well, it looks like we'll be bundling up for the night,"

Nobuyuki had said, gently escorting the fuming Washu away from

the sobbing and soot coated Mihoshi in slumped on the basement

floor.

     This was at 3 o'clock that afternoon, its is now two in the

morning and the outside temperature had dropped down far below

freezing, bringing the house into a state of partial

refrigeration.

     Tenchi, after having stayed awake a little longer to make

sure Kiyone had fallen quite fast asleep, is snuggling himself

into bed and starting to drift off into a deep, warm slumber

when the phone begins to ring.

     Fumbling an arm around in the cold bedroom air for a minute

or two, Tenchi flops his hand around on the nightstand until

he finally brings it to rest on the receiver.  With a

frustrating click, he lifts the cold receiver and brings it to

his ear.

     "Hello?"

     "Tenchi, its Kyoto.  I need your help!"

     "It's two in the friggin morning!  Call me back in the

morning for help!"

     "It's important, and it needs to be done tonight!"

     "Why is it so important?  What did you do?"

     "I punched Santa."

     There's a stunned silence on Kyoto's end of the phone for

a minute before he finally hears Tenchi's voice bark, "You

punched who?!"

     Unfazed, Kyoto repeats himself.  "I punched Santa, the big

fat ass in the red suit!  Now, I gotta deliver all the toys

tonight, or I'll get arrested for violating Juraian penal law!

You gotta help me!  I don't know what to do!"

     "Kyoto, he's only a myth, and why would Santa know anything

about Juraian law anyway, he's an earthling."

     "He said something about a Registry of Holiday Entities,

long story."

     "Oh, crap.  Look, lemme get Kiyone and Washu, and we'll

be--"

     "Oh, no.  Washu is not having part in this!"

     "But, she's my step mom!  I can't just sneak out of the

house without her knowing!  She track us or something!"

     "Well, then you better bring your dad as well."

     "Good plan, I'll wake Chi and we'll get over there as soon

as we can."

     "Good, bring coats, its gonna be cold, the sleigh isn't

enclosed."

     "Oh.... Boy."



     An hour, and several antacids later, Chi-Ohki is touching

down outside of the Minamoto house.  Kyoto and Ryoko are already

standing out on the front porch; both wrapped in warm clothes.

Kyoto is dressed already in the Santa outfit, looking much the

real one even without changing form.

     "You know, Kyoto, I think that pillow makes you look much

more realistic."

     "Thank you, kindly, Ryoko, I remember that the next time

we go out shopping, so I can buy some bigger pants."

     "Well, you have been getting rounder later..."

     "Can you two please shut up?  I've got a hang-over."

Kyoto and Ryoko both turn their heads to look down at Chi-Ohki,

and have to cover their mouths to keep from laughing. Chi-Ohki,

the most un-cute cabbit of call that ever transversed the solar

seas is dressed much like Kyoto, only looking like the Grinch

in a Santa suit, than a cabbit in a Santa suit. "What?  Kiyone

and Tenchi thought I'd look more christmasy if I dressed up like

a mini-Santa.  I'm not going to argue, my head hurts too much."

Snickering, Ryoko smiles at Chi-Ohki.  "Well, it does look...

cute, on you." "I am not cute!  Do not call me by that word!

For cuteness, does not a Chi-Ohki make!" "You're cute, now shut

up you silly cabbit."  Kiyone, robbed in a young misses Claus

costume steps up behind Chi-Ohki and pulls his Santa hat down

over his face, muffling any further outbursts.  "You guys ready

to go?"  Taking a look from Tenchi to Kiyone, and then from

Kiyone to Tenchi, and then back again, Kyoto sticks out his

tongue from between the furry strands of his beard.  "Thank

you, Mr. and Mrs. Claus junior."  "You might want to get going,

you've only got till sun-up to have the whole job done."  All

five of them turn slowly and both Kiyone and Tenchi go wide-eyed

and lip-locked.  Kiyone is the first to sputter out a word.

     "S-S-Santa Claus?"  Without warning, Kiyone lets out a

whee! and bolts towards the chubby man, knocking him on his

back.  She quickly sits on his knee and begins listing off

things she wants for Christmas.

     "...And a super Galaxy police Darcy Doll.... And a plush

cabbit..."

     Tenchi has to gently extradite his wife from the old man's

knee and carries her back towards the group.  "Eh... sorry....

Santa..."

     Once the group is together again, Tenchi opens his mouth

to ask a question that had been on his mind through all of the

oddities of the evening.

     "Um... Kyoto, where's the sleigh?"

     Grinning, Kyoto jerks a thumb to his left.  Sitting parked

neatly on the snow-covered lawn is Santa's sleigh.  In the back

rests a giant sack of toys, the top barely being held closed

by the red belt around it.  Sitting atop this bag are two

diminutive figures, neither taller than Chi-Ohki.  The rounder

of the two hops off the bag and skips through the snow to them.

     "Greetings!  You must be Chris's fill-ins tonight, I'm Ike

the elf, and my brother Kie and me will help you do the job.  We

better hurry, time is crucial in this job, and there's never

enough in one night, even if you can travel faster than time!"

     With the elf brothers' help, the five clambers aboard the

sleigh, gritting their teeth as the floor boards groan under

Chi-Ohki's weight.

     "So, how do I make it go?"

     Kie smiles, and points towards the reins.  "Simple, grab

those and then just say the line from all of the Christmas

movies with Santa in it!"

     Kyoto grabs the reins and for a minute ponders the elf's

answer.  Then, like the switching of a light, the words fill his

head and with a might snap of the reins, Kyoto recites the most

famous words of Christmas.

     "Now Dasher!  Now Dancer!  Now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet!

On Cupid! On Donder and Blitzen!  To the top of porch!  To the

Top of the wall!  Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"

     Absolutely no one aboard the sleigh, not even the elves

who had rode it countless millions of times before, were

prepared for the sudden burst of speed the sleigh gave as they

raced from the ground and up into the night sky.

     Out of all who were riding, the least prepared was

Chi-Ohki, dangling from the back of the sleigh, hanging on to

only a long piece of ribbon coming out of the enormous bag of

presents.

     "I hate flying!!!" was the last sounds that Santa heard

from his sleigh as it shot off into the sparking blanket of

lights in the sky.

     "I sincerely hope they make it, I've never seen the

reindeer go that fast.  Hehe, that poor cabbit, he's going to

never want to fly again!  Well, now, I have some work to do."



*     *     *



     "Slow this thing down, Kyoto!"  Washu, who and her husband

had remained quiet during the entire arrival and boarding

of the sleigh, are now the loudest voices in the night's sky as

the world below races past.

     Pulling back a little on the reins to bring the reindeer

into the check, Kyoto turns back to face his Washu and Nobuyuki.

     "You two have no Christmas spirit at all!"  With a wink,

Kyoto turns back to face Ike, who is sitting on the floor in the

front of the sleigh.  "Alright, Ike, what do we do first?"

     "Well, first we check the list of good little boys and

girls and find the ones who are the closest..." Ike leans out

over the edge of the sleigh, examining the world below.  "Looks

like our first stop is right down there!"

     With a nod and a jerk, Kyoto brings the sleigh around and

begins a spiraling decent down to the sleeping world below.

     The sleigh touches down on the first roof without much of a

sound.

     "That was easy enough, now, what's next?"

     "Grab yer bag!"  With a wink and a nod, and a flick of his

wrist, in Kyoto's hands appeared a large bag, not nearly as

large as the one in the back of the sleigh, but just as full.

"Then, down the chimney you go!"

     "Down the... gulp... Chimney?"

     "Yup, lay a finger aside of your nose, and give a nod down

the chimney you'll go!"

     Not quite sure, but willing to give anything a try, Kyoto

lays his finger aside his nose and does a quick nod.  Before

he knows what happened, he finds himself standing in the center

of a living room in front of the fireplace.

     Kyoto speaks not a word, and goes straight to his work and

fills all the stockings and then turning with a jerk.  With a

smile he gazes across the room, and admires his work.  The

stockings all full, ready to burst, the bottom bows of the tree,

quenched of their gift thirst.  Smiling at a job well done, he

turns back to the fireplace and zips back up fast as a gun.

     He returns to the roof, covered with soot, and without

a word hops on the sleigh and zips off to the next roof.

     All that evening that sleigh did zip and did fly, not

waking a soul, and making no cry.  Around the world they flew,

as fast as the night, and left no stocking empty that was in his

sight.

     For Gensao, the old panda, he left a large book.  To keep

all his fanfics, where he could take a quick look.

     For Bob Cannard, the Ryoko acolyte so high, he left a

life-size doll of Ryoko, so his heart would fly.

     For D.B. Sommer, the Ranma extraordinaire, he left not one,

but two Shampoo.  To make sure his fics, had that extra sort of

flair.

     For Karmin St. Jean, who had waited quite long, he left her

her wish, Trakal the operative, who was as confused as a fish.

     For K'Thardin, Sasami's guardian for life, he left a little

doll of her, playing a fife.



     From house to house that sleigh flew until it came to a

roof, one that I knew.  And in a twinkling I heard on the roof,

the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  As I rose from my

bed and was coming down the stairs and spinning around, down the

chimney Kyoto came with a bound.

     He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and

his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.  A bundle

of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a college

student opening his backpack.

     His eyes how they twinkled!  His dimples, how merry!  His

cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  His droll

little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin

was as fake as plastic snow.

     The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth, and the smoke

it encircled his head like a wreath.  He had a broad face and a

little round belly, which shook quite unconvincingly,

as it was pillow that was quite smelly.

     He was chubby and plump, a right jolly space pirate, and I

hoped because I saw him he wouldn't whip out a blaster and fire

it.  A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, and I knew that

I had plenty to dread.  He spoke not a word, but went straight

to his work and filled all my stockings and then turned with a

jerk. And then laying a finger aside his nose and giving a nod,

right smack into the fireplace he rose.

     He landed on the floor with an unnerving thud, and I

thought to myself, your time is up bub.

     With a groan and a curse, he rose to his feet and as I

watched in amazement, he turned me into ground meat...



     "Kyoto?  Why did you have to punch him?  He was only a

fanfic writer!  He was even armed!"  Chi-Ohki stands over the

fallen body of the otaku, poking at his quivering form

occasionally with a stick.

     "His rhyming of in this fic was starting to make me sick--"

     "You just rhymed yourself."

     "AUG! --  Chi-Ohki?"

     "Yeah?"

     "Why do you always have to poke everything with a stick?"

     "Well... look at him... look at him... He's a pudgy fun bag

of fat to play with!  Let's stick him in a trash can and leave

him till morning!"

     "Kyoto!"

     Turning slowly and painfully around, Kyoto turns to face

Tenchi, Kiyone, and Ryoko all of whom are now standing in the

room behind him.

     "You punched another one, didn't you?"

     "Well..."

     "You did."

     "Yeah... but he was writing another rhyming Christmas

fic!  Rhyming makes me sick!  Especially bad rhyming!"

     "But that's the seventh one!  He socked his partner an hour

ago!  Now, what are we going to do about this situation?"

     "Put him in a trash can?"

     Chi-Ohki finds himself exploring said trash can a moment

later as he comes crashing down into it from his brief trip into

orbit via Ryoko's foot.

     "Hmm.... Banana peels... tasty..."

     Dusting off her hands, Ryoko spins around to face her

husband.  "Step aside Mister Wizard, I'm going to go put him

back in his bed, you go and do your job.  Washu, kindly do NOT

improve this house's refrigerator like you did the last.  I

don't think this one would appreciate it snowing shredded

carrots anymore than the last one."

     "But it's science!  I'm sure I can make it work right this

time!  I think I know what I did wrong!  I'm pretty sure its has

something to do with the light turning on and off when you open

and close the door!"

     "Washu!"

     "Right, going back to the sleigh now, coming Nobuyuki?"

     "Uh... yes dear... I think that would be good.  I think

next Christmas, we need to go have it somewhere else..."

     *     *     *



     After having returned the black-eyed fanfic writer to his

bed, and making up for it by placing several hundred plush

Ryo-Ohki dolls in the bed with him, Ryoko departs with her

husband back to the sleigh.

     "Pheew.... I don't know how Santa stays fat; this gig is

tough work!  Especially when those pesky writers stay up to all

hours writing on the moment inspired fan works.  Don't they know

they should be in bed, like all good little boys and girls?!"

     "Hun... none of them are little boys or little girls.  Most

are teens or college students.  Their normal hours are like

this.  At least he was the last one..." Ryoko drifts from her

conversation as she scans over a copy of story the writer had

been working on.

     "Kyoto, didn't we visit another person's house who called

himself... Gensao?"

     "Yeah, Chi-Ohki though the exhaust pipe for his bathroom

was the chimney and got stuck.  I had to sneak into the bathroom

and pull him out of the clean out plug."

     "Speaking of sneaking and going through strange pipes and

chimneys, how were we able to do all that?"

     "Probably, 'Christmas Magic', let's just hope it wears off

before I have to take all those decorations back down... I don't

need to be falling down a exhaust vent by accident."

     With a couple jingles and a gratifying thud, the sleigh

lands back home in front of the Minamoto house.  Tenchi and

Kiyone, who had fallen asleep a couple hours back, stretch

and yawn and make their way towards their car.

     "Night Kyoto, Ryoko.  Fun doing the Santa thing punch Santa

again next year and I'll lop yer balls off.... Oh, and Merry

Christmas!"  With that, Tenchi slumps into the drivers seat of

the car, and pulls away, leaving Washu and Nobuyuki to run after

him, not wanting to be left behind.

     Exhausted themselves, Ryoko and Kyoto limp into the house.

What they find is all but what they expected.  Sitting on the

couch, bound up in garland, and draped with tinsel and ornaments

is Santa, Kyo and Momoko sitting next to him with mischievous

grins on their faces.

     "We found Santa Claus!  He tried to get away, but we caught

him!" exclaims Momoko, happily pointing at the pleading eyed

Santa.

     Groaning inwardly, Ryoko steps forward and using a stylus

sized energy sword, cuts him free of the decorations.

     Once his binds are loosed, Santa jumps from the couch and

hides behind Ryoko.  "Save me!  They captured me and tied me up!

All I wanted was a cup of hot spiced cider!"

     Ryoko looks down scornfully at her children.  "What are you

two doing up this late?  And look what you did to Santa!  Do you

think he's going to leave you any presents now?  You two might

be lucky if you get lumps of coal!  Now, get to bed both of you

and don't let me see a single peek from those eyes till I make

breakfast tomorrow!"

     With a quick swat on their butts, Kyo and Momoko dash off

upstairs and dive quickly back into their beds and fall fast

asleep.

     As soon as they're out of earshot, the three adults begin

to laugh riotously.

     "I've never had so much fun in my life!  I need to get my

nose broken more often!  It's been a wonderful Christmas,

Kyoto, Ryoko.  Now, off to bed, both of you, or you'll find no

presents in your stockings!"

     With a grin and a nod, Kyoto and Ryoko dash off upstairs

as quickly as their children had and soon fall fast asleep in

their bed.

     Sometime around four to five in the afternoon, the sounds

of glee and the clamor of happiness rouse Kyoto and Ryoko from

their slumber.  Both wrapped in bathrobes, they make their way

downstairs to the family room.

     When Kyoto's eyes clear, what he sees nearly drops him on

his rear.

     From floor to ceiling, and some hanging from tree boughs

the family room is filled with presents.  One of the strangest,

for Kyoto, is the new car sitting parked next to the tree with

a little toy train racing around it.

     "Whoa... now those are some presents..." However, Before

he can even pour his first cup of coffee, the phone begins to

ring.

     "Hello?" with a delayed action of lifting the receiver

and responding to his son's cries of "Santa came!  Santa came!"

Kyoto places the speaker to his ear.

     "Kyoto, this is Tenchi!  We've got a problem!"

     "If you punched the Easter bunny, forget it!"

     "No, our family room is filled with presents, Sasami and

the girls are practically swimming through all the presents.

What's it like over there?"

     Kyoto gazes around the room, taking a quick look over the

cornucopia of gifts.

     "Yeah, bout the same.  Still showing up for Christmas

dinner?  Ryoko made extra stuffing for your father this year."

     "Wouldn't miss it!  See you about nine, we slept in pretty

late."

     "Alright, see you then!"

     With a satisfying click, Kyoto returns the receiver to the

base and then makes his way over to the couch and plops down

with out another thought.  As he sips on his coffee and takes

in the scene, Kyo brings over a gift to his father.

     "Dad, I found this for you!  Its got a tag on it that says

is a special present from Santa!"

     Smiling, Kyoto takes the large tissue paper wrapped package

onto to his lap and quickly unties the bow.  Inside are two

boxing gloves and a set of teeth protectors.  Trying on the

gloves, Kyoto makes a few quick punches.  Then, what he sees in

the bottom of the package fills him with fear.  In the bottom

is a note from Santa, on which is written, "Round two is next

year."



                         THE END





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