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>> While the rest of this chapter is exceptional,
>the section where Ranma &
>> Tsunami talk feels like it could use some work.
>Shifting the responsibility
>> for the assimilation to Sasami was ok, but
>judging by her words you are
>> saying that Sasami forced Tsunami to do what
>she feared the most in the
>> first place?
>> Throughout the section you repeatedly mentioned
>how she was afraid of
>> merging, afraid of its consequences. Then BOOM
>she wanted it all along? It
>> just sounds wrong.
>> Tsunami has had years to think about what
>happened. I think her explaination
>> could have been better.
>>
>Well, I thought it was pretty understandable.
>Sasami was afraid that
>merging would distance her from Aeka and
>Ryouko--which it did. And
>merging was inevitable, unavoidable. The only
>thing she could think
>of that would make the merging bearable would be
>if she got Tenchi, who
>was, she felt, the one person who would continue
>to treat her as one
>of the family. And the only way to get Tenchi
>was to beat Aeka's and
>Ryouko's time by merging *right now*--a
>twelve-year-old girl was
>scarcely going to be able to stake a claim to Tenchi.
I'm okay with everything said in the preceding paragraph --
although it feels skewed a few degrees to one side or the
other (word choices :) -- except for the last sentence. You
imply that Sasami decided that "the only way to get Tenchi
was to beat Aeka's and Ryouko's time by merging *right
now*." -- that's not true. Sasami wasn't thinking of an
early merger; she was just becoming depressed because she
believed she wouldn't ever get the chance to woo Tenchi. It
was *Tsunami* who decided to level the playing field, by
first considering and then implementing an early merger.
Sasami was not a direct participant in that decision making
process.
One might argue that Tsunami was reacting to the situation
rather than acting in everyone's best interests, as one
would expect of an eons-old goddess, but Sasami is uniquely
connected to Tsunami -- her mirror twin of body, soul, and
mind, if you will -- and I think Tsunami can be forgiven for
being perhaps a tad hasty in giving what she believed Sasami
either wanted or needed.
>And Sasami's fears about merging distancing her
>from Aeka and Ryouko
>were, to a certain extent, self-fulfilling, since
>grabbing Tenchi
>away from them would hardly endear her to them...
True enough, although Sasami was also thinking of her
parents and, of them, specifically her father with regard to
a later assimilation. Since Sasami wasn't considering an
early assimilation, she initially had no fears of distancing
Aeka and Ryouko, but when Tsunami initiated the final
assimilation, that also became a reality.
>Mr. Roeder has set up a interesting group of
>relationships, and the
>ones around the Ranma side are equally
>interesting. I'm looking
>forward to seeing how it plays out.
Thanks, Chris. Your public comments were much appreciated.
Yours,
*******************************************
D.F. Roeder
FanFiction - http://home.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html