Well, one day I went "hmmm..." and started writing
this. If someone else has thought of this particular
twist, please tell me, but somehow it I doubt it.
Nice to be back on the list, too.
RANMA 1/2:
HIDDEN MOTIVATIONS
SHAMPOO
"And the winner is Shan Pu!"
I stood still a moment, exulting in the cheers of the
crowds that surrounded me. I spared not a glance for
my fallen opponent. After all, she had failed to win,
and so her weakness was proven.
I jumped out of the pit with greased sides that served
as the semifinals battleground, trying to think who my
final opponent might be. Shao Wer was a strong
contender this year, but Liu Fa had the edge in
strength. If Ti Pi had made it to Liu Fa, however, the
fight would have been over before it had begun with Ti
Pi using her long-distance chi techniques. Then
again...
I shook off these thoughts like a dog shaking off
water. _It does no good to worry overmuch,_ I told
myself. _You know you can beat any of them._
I jumped onto the log that served as the final stage
of the tournament, awaiting the next person whom I was
to fight. I didn't wait long.
"So, Liu Fa, you have made it this far," I smirked. "I
suppose this means that I'll have to defeat you once
again." I punctuated this sentence with an elaborate
yawn.
Liu Fa leveled her spiked club at me. "I will defeat
you today, Shan Pu. It will be _my_ name that is sung
tonight, and I shall feast upon the prize!"
Her prebattle taunt was pure bravado; mine was not. I
had defeated her regularly since our first match at
the age of six, and I knew today would be no
different.
She began with a very simple sweep of her club from
left to right, and I showed my disdain for such a
simple-minded attack by flipping over Liu Fa and
planting one bonbori in her backside. Not hard enough
to hurt her, of course.
She stumbled, and for one moment I thought that she
would fall off the log. Liu Fa recovered, though, and
turned to face me with hate in her eyes. I shrugged,
as though to say, "Well, what are you gonna do about
it?"
This enraged her further, but her next attack was
controlled and skillful. I countered and realized,
with some joy, that my rival was almost at my skill
level for the first time in years! My heart sang as I
stretched my skills to the limit.
The end was predetermined, though. One mistimed feint
on her part later, she was unconscious and I was
standing on the log, panting and exulting in my
victory. I had won! I was Champion!
A rising wave of giggles and half-heard comments
penetrated my almost mindless state, causing me to
raise my bonbori into a ready stance. I looked around
the crowd defensively, trying to see what was causing
the disturbance. What was stopping them from cheering
_my_ victory!
I had scanned nearly three-quarters of the crowd
before I spotted a foreign girl and a panda. Eating.
My. Prize!
I threw one bonbori and leapt after it. The girl
dodged it alertly. I sputtered, "What are you doing,
you stupid bitch! That's my prize you're eating!"
A short man in a typical Communist outfit (whom, after
a
moment's puzzlement, I recognized as the guide to
Jusenkyou) spoke to the girl in a harsh, clipped
language. The girl spoke one word back, which the
guide translated as, "What?"
I said, "This is the day of my victory, you ignorant
pig! Today, after years of training, I have one the
Tournament in the first year I was eligible. And you
dare to mock my victory!?"
After another exchange in that rapid-fire language,
the guide turned to me and said, "She asks that if she
fights you, will that remove the stain on you honor?"
I smiled and said, "Yes."
In the span of a few moments, both the interloper and
I were standing on the suspended log. The crowd was
cheering once more, and why shouldn't they? An
outsider fighting the Champion that she had just
disrespected? It was electrifying!
I readied my bonbori and charged, even though the fool
girl hadn't even assumed a ready stance. A glint of
her eye and a slight shift of stance was the only
warning I had before darkness took me.
I came to quickly, but I was still groggy from the way
that the foreign warrior had hit me. She was truly
skilled! Thoughts that she'd beaten me only because I
was still weary from the Tournament I dismissed as
unworthy: She'd beaten me, the Champion, and so had
earned our tribe's highest honor. Which was mine to
bestow.
I stumbled forward as fast as I could, gathered her in
my arms, and kissed her on the cheek. The Kiss that
signaled her death in the outside world and rebirth
into the Amazons as a full-fledged warrior. The Kiss
of Death.
My new sister stood there, dumfounded, for which I
could not blame her. Only one woman in the past
hundred years had been adopted, though some always
attended the Tournament in hopes of earning the
privilege.
Suddenly, the Jusenkyou guide yelled something in that
language my new sister spoke, and started sprinting
away while pulling her along.
The other Amazons looked to me to handle this; after
all, I was the Champion. I took one step, then
another, then fell to my knees and blacked out again.
My last vision was of my new sister starting to run on
her own...
When I came to, Great-Grandmother was sponging my
forehead gently. "Are you awake, child?" she asked
rhetorically.
I nodded weakly, then said, "Great-Grandmother, about
my new sister..."
"At the last, she was running of her own free will,"
Great-Grandmother said sternly. "She rejected your
offer and stained your honor. You know what that
means."
"Death." I stood up, perhaps a bit rashly because my
vision narrowed to a pinhole. I refused to faint
again, however, and my sight soon recovered. "She did
not want the death that means rebirth, so she shall
have the death that means death." As I spoke the
ritual, I gathered up several nearby weapons for my
journey. Great-Grandmother watched in bemusement.
"Keep an eye out for a husband while you're gone!" she
said cheerily. Despite the seriousness of the
situation, I blushed.
"Great-Grandmother, if there was a man that was
destined to defeat me, I'd have met him by now..."
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Not a bad reintroduction of myself, ne?
I'm not sure when I first had the basic idea of what
the Kiss of Death might really mean, but it certainly
seems to fit the story and gives slightly more depth
to a plottus divicium.
Any errors are directly attributable to the fact that
I wrote this on an email messenger without benefit of
an actual computer. Boot camp is somewhat... limited
in that respect. I just graduated though, so hopefully
you'll see more stuff from me. I've already finished
the next two chapters of Slayers: Nibunnoichi on
paper, so now I've got to put it to electron if you
know what I mean.
C&C is, as always, welcome. Flames are even more so
because it gives me a chance to be politely insulting.
And don't bother complaining if my Chinese adaptations
of names isn't perfect; I'm already well aware that I
have no ability at that sort of thing.
Aaron Bergman
iamfanboy@hotmail.com
"Murphy and Malthus are the ultimate comedians:
They always have the last laugh."
-Me
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