The More, the Merrier
Or "How the Children learned to stop worrying and love each
other."
a Neon Genesis Evangelion spamfiction by Andrew Carey
**********
Warnings:
WAFFy Evangelion fic warning. Suggestive content warning. Silly
warning. Yours truly warning.
Minor spoiler for very end of manga Volume 5, Issue 2.
**********
All characters and situations of Neon Genesis Evangelion are
property of their respective creators and publishers. They are
merely borrowed for this non-profit fanfiction.
C&C welcome and desired.
Flames deleted.
Proposals considered.
**********
This is a continuation of Volume 5, Issue 2 of the manga. It
probably isn't what Sadamoto Yoshiyuki intends.
**********
I'd say definetly. I actually got home with Sadamoto-san's first two chapters of his
new series when I got this. It's also thanks to Sadamoto-san that I figure, what the
hell, you want to write a fic where Snake stops the TI then go ahead, it'd be accurate.
Spoiler space.
**********
"Why don't you... come in for a while?"
"Oh... okay." Rei seized him by the hand and pulled him
inside.
*****
I love it when Rei takes the inititive.
Asuka glanced at her watch. "Where is that baka? He's
supposed to cook tonight."
"Don't worry about it. Dinner's not for hours yet," Misato
replied.
"We can't let him get away with skipping his chores."
"You like having him around, don't you?"
"Of course not."
Misato took another swallow of beer, and began to sing
"Asuka and Shinji, sitting in a tree..."
He he. Drink beer and be a bad ass at the same time.
"It's not like that!" Asuka's face nearly matched her hair.
Heh.
"Besides, I could say a thing or two about you and Kaji-san."
That did a lot of damage to Cowboy Bebob. The end of episode 20 (I won't spoil it for
you) was the reason that CB screened at odd times. You see, CB had drug referrences, drug
taking I think, which was harder to get by the post NGE censors.
"That's different!"
"Sure."
When I was in college, we were talking about relationships, and how women don't just
go out to bars and the like and pick up men. My eldest sister, who is a lot like Misato,
does, and I said as much. 'My sister does', and that was enough to have everyone on the
floor laughing, it took perhaps fifteen minutes for it to stop.
"I'm going to go find him. I bet he's at Rei's! The little
perverts!"
Pervert? Rei? Well, there's that stuff on the internet. And she could have said,
well, I think you know, but thankfully she didn't
She stormed out of the apartment. Misato's pet penguin
came out, apparently interested in the noise. He picked up a
magazine from the floor and began to leaf through it.
Misato sighed, and finished her beer in a single long gulp.
"Silly kids, aren't they, Pen-pen?"
Heh.
Pen-pen, being a penguin, didn't
reply.
*****
The stairs hadn't been cleaned in quite a while. Asuka
ignored the nasty smell and the empty takeaway boxes and bags.
There were more important things to deal with.
Even out in the hallway she could hear them. "Oh, Rei!
It's... wonderful!" There were small squelching and rustling noises.
"Try this."
"So goooooood!"
What could be going through Asuka's mind at this time?
Asuka wasn't about to let this go any further. No pressing
the buzzer for her--
Oh no, not her.
she hammered on the thin central panel with
both fists, dislodging several chips of fading paint.
Typical Asuka.
Rei answered the door, dressed in only her shirt. There was
something white clinging to her lip; absently, she licked it off.
Something white? Uh oh.
"Souryuu. I had thought you would join us."
How is that name meant to be spelt anyway?
"What's going on?" The blue-haired girl took her by the
wrist and drew her inside. She was too surprised to resist. Within
a few moments, she was too happy to mind.
I won't spoil the end here. Just keep reading.
*****
Misato tossed her latest can into the recycling bin.
Her latest can. Must have a six pack challenge going. Or is she trying to find out
how much she can drink before she's unable to stand?
She
stood up and stretched, belching. "I'm hungry," she declared to no
one in particular. Something seemed odd. She glanced at the
clock. Eight-thirty. Nearly three hours past the time Asuka and
Shinji should have been home.
A few minutes later she was out of the building. <Asuka
said something about going to Rei's. I'll check there, then the
park. If that doesn't work, I'll ring round to their schoolmates'
houses.> She wasn't going to think about any other possibilities,
not if she didn't have to.
That seems a bit too serious the way this fic is going, but it fits well. If anyone
wants to know what it'd be like to have Misato as a sister, ask me. This is how she'd act
as well.
She knew Rei's building wasn't in the best neighbourhood
in town. She'd stopped by once or twice to give her a ride, and
thought NERV could have found her a place that was less run
down.
But this... this was awful, much worse than she'd thought it
from outside. "It's child abuse. Nothing more, and nothing less,"
Certainly nothing less.
she muttered as she made her way through the unlocked foyer, past
the broken elevator and up the dirty stairs.
As she raised her hand to the buzzer, she heard them. "Oh
my, Rei-chan! Where did you learn to... mmmmmmm... do
_this_?" <Asuka's calling her "Rei-chan"? What happened? What
are they doing?> She could hear someone making inarticulate
sounds of pleasure. She was morally certain it was Shinji. <Oh
_no_!>
"Commander Ikari ordered me to learn womanly skills."
Womanly skills? I bet people thought here that they knew how she was taught, if you
know what I mean.
Asuka whistled through her teeth. "When?" The vowel
was long and drawn out, delighted.
"Last week."
"Wow. How'd you learn to be so _good_?" Shinji asked,
breathlessly.
"He gave me books. I studied them."
"Dear sweet kami," Misato murmured. They were only
fourteen.
The age of consent is thirteen. I'd be there!
She'd thought even the Commander had _some_ tiny
reservoir of decency.
Nup.
She strongly considered turning around,
marching down the stairs, finding the nearest bar, and getting well
and truly falling down drunk.
But she did that last night, didn't she?
No. She had her duty, and whatever shreds of conscience
were left her would not be denied. She was their guardian.
Cue comparison to my sister. My girlfriend as well, Reiko's much like Misato as well.
The best of both worlds, Misato as a mother (well sister) and Misato as, well, Toji and
Kaji want her.
Her
hand trembled as she reached for the buzzer. It didn't work, so she
knocked gently. "Kids? We really should talk about-- "
Rei opened the door. She was under-dressed, and looking
rumpled.
She looked cool is what I thought.
Misato wasn't sure what the fluids staining her shirt
were, but she had a feeling she didn't want to know.
She could guess, though.
"Major
Katsuragi?"
"You don't have to call me that, Rei. I'm not angry with
you, or Asuka and Shinji, either. I just want to give you a little
advice, you know? This is a big step in your life. Are you sure
you're not going too fast?"
What, they might get hiccups or something.
"The Commander ordered me."
"You don't always have to listen to him. Well, okay,
_almost_ always.
Heh.
But not about _this_. I mean, it's the most
personal thing in the world, and you've all got a lot of growing left
to do, right?"
"The Commander told me you might stop by. He said I
should ask you to join us."
Wow.
"What! What kind of woman does he think I am? I mean,
yeah, I've done some wild things but-- "
He he.
She opened the door the rest of the way. Misato's jaw
dropped. "Rei? This was all your idea?"
People were begging you to tell them what here.
"Ikari and Souryuu helped."
"I shouldn't. I really shouldn't." If she kept saying it, she'd
believe it, eventually.
"Misato-san! Come in!" She'd never seen Shinji so joyful,
not in all the time they'd lived together. She couldn't blame him.
The scene before her might have been calculated to entice her
beyond all hope.
Asuka positively glowed with happiness. "Rei-chan thought
of everything! She's really, really good! Won't you come in and
have a try?"
"I can't resist." Rei shut the door behind them as she
stepped inside. She couldn't help herself, she really couldn't help
herself. As hard as it was for many people to believe, there were
things that stirred Katsuragi Misato's desires even more deeply than
beer.
Well maybe one other thing.
And Grand Marnier souffle, crepes Suzette, and chocolate
truffles were three of them.
*****
What a twist, WHAT A TWIST. I bet no one was expecting that.
Two weeks later:
The Children were arm in arm in arm. That was fairly
common these days. Rei still seemed a bit confused by the whole
thing, but she was thriving under the attention. She smiled now,
and her speech was increasingly animated.
She raises the People's Eyebrow in CoaEG, next thing we know she'll be trading verbal
jabs with Stone Cold. As you may gather, Travis has shown me enough wrestling for me to
become a fan of it.
"I found a new recipe. Turkey in a chocolate-pepper sauce.
>From Mexico. They call it 'mole.'"
I thought Rei was a vegitarian. Oh well, like it's pointed out in Copying Error, it's
only cooked meat she doesn't like. (ick!).
"Sounds wonderful."
"Chocolate-pepper? If it were anyone else's cooking..."
"But it isn't, Shinji! It's our Rei-chan's." Asuka kissed her
on the cheek.
"You're right." He touched his own lips to her other cheek.
"Sorry, Rei-chan."
Misato smiled, and turned to Ritsuko. "Don't they just
make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?"
"I guess."
As always, the most hated woman in Japan is the bad guy here. As far as she goes, I
got a big bunch of bananas, and I can tell you where she can stick each and every one of
them.
"Well, if you'd eaten Rei's flourless chocolate cake, they
would."
"That good, huh?"
Maybe Akagi is upset at how human Rei is becoming.
"Better than sex."
Wow! That good? Well, a select few foods come close, no pun intended.
"That's a cliche, Misato."
"But it's true!"
**********
Heh.
Author's Notes:
Well, looks like I've managed to finish something again. Seems
to have been a while. Am still working on past fics, just verrrry
sloooooowly:-)
I'm the same. This recent suicide has slowed me down, plus I'm so tired sometimes I
can't see straight, I've got my girlfriend, I've got psychology, family, fic writing and
reviewing is like another full time job.
For the record, the white liquid on Rei's lips was vichyssoise:-)
And there's no firm evidence (in translations released so far) for
manga-Rei as a vegetarian. Besides, mole is one of the primary
things that keeps me from vegetarianism:-)
Maybe Maya will pilot an Eva next.
Well, this is an enjoyable fic. I know that's what I always say, but it happens to be
true. it's funny, I got a kick out of it, and i think you would have had a few people on
the floor laughing. This is probably just me, but about the only thing dragging it down
is Akagi. She's not really needed. Plus, I don't like her. She's worse than Gendou and
possibly worse than SEELE and Lorenz. About her only redeeming feature is that she likes
cats. I want fifty of them! In a house like you see in Final Fantasy VII.
Well, the first year of the Millennium is almost at an end, and I've been thinking of
changing my gimmick. Go from the Millinnium Man to...something else. If I don't see you
all before, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year.
Hopefully the next time I write I can say 'welcome to the mogg house,. (laughs). Later.