Subject: [FFML] [C&C] Cranky AnyFic Comments 15 Dec 2000
From: "E.L.Toh" <teloong@cwcom.net>
Date: 12/15/2000, 8:22 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com
CC: "Joshua 'Gargoyle' Trujillo" <gargoyle@glasscity.net>, Matthew Johnston <caravan@cafe-pierrot.net>, Chris Jones <guilty@furinkan.net>, Lara Bartram <lara@emunix.emich.edu>, Doug Whiddon <turk187@crosswinds.net>

cranky 

1. colloq. eccentric, esp. obsessed with a particular theory

2. (esp. of a machine) working badly; shaky

3. (esp. N. Amer.) ill tempered or crotchety



take ye pick, 'kay? ^_-





The Fate of Hearts, Chapter 5

by Joshua 'Gargoyle' Trujillo <gargoyle@glasscity.net>

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/1509



The Imperial Roman Eva alternative universe. This chapter is centred

on a battle in which Caelus/Shinji plays a decisive role in turning

around. Tightly written and the action flows well, especially since

the (approx) alternating of scenes from the aftermath of the battle

and of the battle itself.



Two reservations. The first is relatively trivial being some 

skepticism of the battle tactics of the Roman legions - until the

Roman troops regroup on the hilltops, it doesn't seem to match the

standard idea of Roman order of battle which rely on solid lines 

of legionaires who wait for the enemy to come to them rather than

the other way round. Using javelins to disrupt the enemy charge,

legionaires then buffet their opponents with their heavy shields

and then stick their shortswords into the guts of their enemies.

But that's just one conception. Even the pple at the medieval

warfare section of the department can't agree on *the* definitive

Roman ORBAT.



The second is that much of the battle is based on the premise of

Mistura/Misato losing her cool and falling into the barbarian trap.

That was particularly hard for me to swallow - she didn't rise to

become one of the most prominent generals in this elseworld by

being a hothead. The Misato in the standard NGE continuity also

never loses her cool during operations. The author does try hard

to justify this with a description of the barbarian provocation. 

I still think that it would be more convincing if the mistake was

made by one of Misato's sub-commanders and Misato got injured in 

the confusion while trying to reverse the situation.



Nonetheless, it *is* the author's story to do as he will. And I

did enjoy this installment. We never did find out what Flustra

found in Shinji's room. All will be revealed in due course I

suppose. And the arrival of Proconsul Effero Sotter (Gendou) at

homebase... {ominous thunder}





It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl - Chapters 1-4

by Matthew Johnston <caravan@cafe-pierrot.net>

http://www.cafe-pierrot.net/



Original fanfic about budding college artistes and their muses.

First off, what a beautiful and intriguing title! I had read 

the first chapter when it was released a long while back and then

lost track of it. But was still sufficiently impressed to vote for

Caravan in the most recent Chicken Ball for best original character.



To start, I'd like to make some favourable comparisons with that 

other master of the original anime/manga style fic, Ammadeau.

The main characters grew on me very quickly (within a chapter)

through a mix of invoking empathy (situations I could identify

with), fantasy (situations i have imagined about) and curiosity

(there is more than meets the eye, little hints mostly about

personal histories). They were essentially likeable (even the

'villians') and came across as very much alive.



The structure is also very much character-based and driven as

seen from relationships and conflicts. Plot enters from the

personalities and histories of the main players. And love triangles

or squares or other shapes. Almost everyone likes those. Unless

you're actually involved in one.



However, Mr Johnston does have a distinctive writing style than

easily differentiates his work from Ammadeau's upon reading. The

most explicit manifestation of that is in his use of unusual

imagery, unorthodox language use that yet seems fitting: e.g.



[Ichiro liked to think he was a Star Wars hero, a real Han Solo

type.  But in reality, he was more like C-3PO.  Well, maybe Han

Solo's brain in C-3PO's body.]



or



[Kenji shrugged defeatedly, and followed Caravan to the 

impatiently waiting train.]



Chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger note with readers probably 

screaming 'What's going to happen to Caravan?' as well as mulling

over 'What is Renaissance's evil plan?', 'Kenji is a Priority One?'

Very much looking forward to more!





Salvage Episode 1: The Secret Platform

by Chris Jones <guilty@furinkan.net>

http://www.furinkan.net



A sci-fi anime-style original fic. My my, aren't we seeing more 

of original fics around these days. ;) I liked the element of 

international politics at the macro level (giving the thing a

'spook' buzz) and at the micro level (inter-national bickering

among the crew of the Davey Jones).



However I did have rather a lot of trouble absorbing the info

in the fic about the characters and the general context. It's

probably just my fried synapses but this is the third time I've

looked at it and am still having problems. I suppose one of my

difficulties is that nothing much actually *happens* - the

crew gets a message, they talk, they go to the lunar base and

then... there isn't any sort of memorable incident or event that

I can anchor my impressions in...



The other thing that troubles me slightly is that I didn't really

get the 'anime' style buzz from this. Unlike Ammadeau's Kumiko the

Demon-girl (Urusai Yatsura et al) and Project Kawaii (Project A-ko

et al) or Matthew Johntson's Sunshine Girl (AMG et al). Again,

this is probably my own fault as I haven't seen much anime-style

scifi like Nadesico or Gunbuster. For the above two authors, the

anime style fanart also helped a lot. 





The Success of Two Salarymen

Two Salarymen on the Fringe

Two Salarymen Get Busy

Two Salarymen Clean Up

by Lara Bartram <lara@emunix.emich.edu>

http://www.thekeep.org/~lara/



The manic follow-up to the manic world of the Two Salarymen

where the two employees of Micronax struggle to produce their

giant robot anime and get the chicks into bed. Most of the

ideas and events in NGE are covered: why Gendou is the uber-

character who lords over Shinji, why Naoko, Kaji, Ritsuko, Asuka

and Kaworu are killed, why Gendo and Kozo plot to overthrow the

designs of SEELE, why Toji gets maimed and why Rei gets a

relatively sympathetic treatment.



Particularly brilliant was how Yui used Kaworu to threaten

Gendo and Misato as the efficiency expert (who's she's paired

with in the end is a real surprise) really had rings of Lucy

Liu in Charlie's Angels, for me at least. One of the things

that isn't really dealt with really is why there's so much

pseudo Judeo-Christian mythology in it and why Angels are

chosen as the opponents.





Maya in Wonderland

by Doug Whiddon <turk187@crosswinds.net>



A lemon about Maya in the dreamscape of Lewis Carroll. On acid. Or

something. There were quite a few great laughs along the way and 

the use of footnotes was strangely apt. However, I did think that

it would have had a better impact if it were converted to a lime

to remove the explicitness which I thought didn't really serve

the purposes of humour in this story.





That's all for now!

elt







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