Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][SM crossover] A General Time Paradox - Chapter2
From: Nidoking
Date: 12/13/2000, 12:43 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

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Comments on Comments $$



..on comments





On and on and on...



agree. For the powers to be

target-specific, is...

utterly stupid, IMO, for their powers were created

BEFORE

the concept of Negaverse existed.



$$That was what I was trying to say. Thanks

for clearing it up. ^_^ HOWEVER, if the author

wants/needs this particular plot point, go

ahead, just add a bit here and there to make

it "feel" more likely.



Agree.





It's not like it's a MAJOR point... we're referring to Artemis' comment

that the Sailor Scouts' powers are designed to work against the

Negaverse, right? Well, considering that that's the only enemy the

Scouts have faced so far, it seems MORE logical to me to say that than

"your powers are designed to work against evil, particularly the

Negaverse." It's like breaking the fourth wall or projecting into a

future that the reader can see but the characters can't. Especially in

this story, that would be VERY bad.



I can't object _too_ much since I had

something similar in chapter 7

of Sukeban Senshi--Senshi v. Aragami.

The Senshi were having trouble fighting

Aragami, not so much because their

powers were ineffective, but because

1)The Aragami were _very_ tough

True. And the more powerful ones...

Kusanagi could probably go through

fifty youma before breaking a sweat.

IMO, it was still not a good idea on

your part to introduce Blue Seed stuff,

because the series is so apocalyptic...





Funny you should mention Kusanagi of Blue Seed...



My point is, rather than  a mysterious

"our powers don't work", have  a reason that

follows logically from the rest of the story.



So, the fact that their powers didn't work when they used them against

Ryoko isn't logical evidence that their powers won't work against their

new enemies?



EVEN IF the reader and the Senshi don't know

at that particular moment. Personally I think

it's better if the _reader_ knows just a little bit

more than the characters.

Nodnod.





True. But it had better not be the characters telling the reader the

privileged information.



There are a LOT of reasons.

1)They EAT Crystal Energy



Who does?



2)They're slightly out of phase with time/space

so the Senshi Attacks pass through/bounce off

When mixin' and turnin' with the energy concepts,

all the three newbies have quite enough energy.

Ryoko against senshi at this point is overkill,

only chance they have against Lina, is by surprise,

and even the "weakest" Ranma can probably take

on any one of the inners and win, power-wise.

But there's also the thing...

3)They're FAST!

This one.

OR

4)They're just plain TOUGH!



that too.

Of course this isn't just a simple "my team's tougher than

your's so *bee-da*! situation.





Basically, it seems to boil down to a DBZ-style argument exactly like

the one you present above. The Scouts' powers will in fact affect their

opponents, particularly Ranma and Lina. Ryoko's shield is all that

protects her from their powers. The powers that are "designed to work

against the Negaverse" or merely any evil entity, if you prefer, are

Sailor Moon's powers, and to a lesser extent, Sailor Venus'. Sailor

Moon's powers instantly banish creatures of pure evil (if they're

sufficiently weakened or incapacitated first), but will have no effect

(or very little effect) on other creatures. However, I've never seen the

Sailor Scouts defeat anyone without relying on Sailor Moon's finisher

move. That's the point: characters in these series are very difficult to

kill. They can survive just about anything, it seems, including being

badly burned (as if via Sailor Mars' powers). The only thing that will

truly destroy an opponent is a finisher move, which is what the Sailor

Scouts no longer have the benefit of.

As for the Sailor Scouts' advantage... they've repeatedly shown their

adeptness at surviving all sorts of attacks, either by dodging them or

by not taking enough damage to kill them before striking back. This is

why Beryl wants to strike at them when they're out of uniform and thus

relatively powerless.

I didn't introduce these ideas yet because there's a lot more fighting

yet to come, and revelations of this sort are what will set these scenes

apart from just a bunch of random punching, kicking, and casting of

spells and special moves. However, the amount of criticism I'm receiving

over this issue seems to indicate that everyone wants all of the

information up front. Should I release some sort of "Mystery and

Suspense FAQ" to give the answers to all possible questions before

writing the story, so that there is absolutely no confusion? There's a

reason for the confusion, really.



Decide this before you introduce them. THEN, a little

at the time, let the reader and the Senshi, figure

this out.

Good ideas, all around.





Exactly what I plan to do. I'm just getting a little further into the

story, to a point where those revelations will make sense, before

letting everyone figure things out. Although now you've forced me to tip

my hand early and give away all of the surprise. Should I just tell you

who the girl in black is, or are you willing to wait for the right time?

(Can anyone tell I'm a little bitter at the moment?)





<SNIP FACEFAULT AND SWEATDROP BIT>



I appreciate that, I really do. Yes, there are many ways to describe

embarrassment and surprise that don't involve visual gags. My characters

blush, they trip when surprised, their eyes bug out... and they

sweatdrop and facefault on occasion. These are all elements of the show,

which I use to help keep the feel of the original anime intact while at

the same time adding a dark mood through plot elements and character

emotions. It's a choice of style, which I believe that all of my critics

have so far agreed that I am allowed to make. There are times when I use

prose similar to the examples you gave... and times when the action or

dialogue is proceeding well and a very simple visual gag (which really

isn't MEANT to be as funny as you seem to think I intend it to be)

nicely captures the necessary sentiment without breaking the flow.



Ooh.

off-topic, I always thought Ultimecia in FF8 was some

alt-uni future incarnation of Rinoa...





Nah... she's Selphie after a major hyperness-endectomy.



$$That's a point, certainly. However

the biggest problem, IMO, was a certain

lack of detail and some forced or

contrived plot continuity. This is

especially Ranma. I'd also like

a little more "friction", some

dynamic tension. Things seem

to be proceeding too smoothly.

There are some BIG problems, the

Senshi having trouble beating

the "monster-of-the-week" (AKA

Ranma, Lina, Ryoko) for

example. But I like

to see more _little_ details

that flesh things out.

I guess I have to agree.





Perhaps this is true. I thought the conversation between the Scouts in

chapter 2 covered their attitudes toward that aspect of the story,

though. Believe me, it's not as if this is the end of the story! There's

plenty more to go, and a lot of detail to cover everything. I don't want

to make the story front-heavy and then have it drag at the end. Ranma,

Ryoko, and Lina haven't been working together long enough to really

develop any tension. Once they've been through a few more fights,

they'll have tension to spare, both internally and externally. Can I

possibly beg enough to have patience when it comes to revealing too much

information at once?



Ranma of course, worrying about Akane

but also having come conflict about

killing an innocent to save her.

Some more detail on the thoughts

and fears and hopes of the other characters

would be good.

Don't be in such a rush to get

from Point-A to Point-B. ^_^



I'm not, I'm not! But what you've seen is from point A to point A and a

quarter. Ranma's conflict about killing an innocent is certainly going

to come to the surface when he has to actually do it... so far it was

just fighting Tuxedo Mask, who isn't on the death list, and if you'll

notice, Ranma specifically requested the task of holding off TM while

the others attacked the Sailor Scouts. The hopes and fears (of all the

years ^_^) are all going to come gushing forth when it's time. Unless,

of course, you'd rather I just E-mail them all to you and not bother

with the story any more.



Didn't think about it, but now we have

Ranma together with two, count *two*

females with

a)explosive, hair trigger temperaments

b)enough personal destructive power to

take out 1)planets

             2)solar systems

             3)galaxies.





And strict instructions not to use it against Ranma. Believe me, when

Ranma, who has never been able to keep his insults to himself, mixes

with Lina, who seems to attract flat-chested comments, there's no end of

trouble! If you'll allow me the time to write the appropriate scene...



Hmm..

.o|

question!

Does Ryoko have all three gems?



No. As far as I know, she never has all three gems in the OAV, which is

the Tenchi continuity that I'm pulling Ryoko from. At least, not in the

first thirteen episodes, unless you count during the Kagato incident,

and I know she DIDN'T have them all in episode 7 (she says as much).

When Ranma first sees her, he describes a single gem on her wrist. Maybe

you guys who are so concerned about details missed a few as you read?



I've noticed that, with many stories, movies, series, etc. the stories

begin to fall apart near the end, as the action starts to wind down. I

always take pains to avoid that as much as possible by not stretching

out the beginning too much, and letting the details all come out as the

story progresses. The Sailor Scouts have at least four more battles

ahead - probably more. The contents of the crystals, the identity of the

girl in black, Beryl's future plans for Chronite, the Sailor Scouts'

contingency plan, Pluto's course of action... all will be revealed in

due time, really! And a large part of that will be revealed through the

characters' emotions and actions, which is what you've been haranguing

me about all along. Right now, they're all just interested in getting

the job done. Let them get a bit more exposure to the real-life effects

of that job and just see how they're feeling after that. K?



- Nidoking



BURNS: What is this? Some kind of force field around these vegetables!

HOMER: That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get food or

sneeze on stuff.



JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's

gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!



JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!



My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp







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