Eslington: Well, time for another MiSTing!
Makoto: Great. Are we going to bother with an intro sketch?
Angela: We probably shouldn't... It's only a teaser anyway. The sketch
would be
longer than the fic.
Makoto: I suppose this is where we have to say that this fic is property
of D.B.
Sommer.
Angela: -And that it's a lemon, so don't read it unless you're under
eighteen.
Makoto: As if you care.
Eslington: Alright, here we go.
***
Well, here we go to celebrate my 'return'
Eslington: It's the return of the revenge of the second coming of D.B.
Sommer
Three! The sequel!
Makoto: And this time, it's fictional!
I'd like to say right now 'don't blame me for this.'
Makoto: <Sommer> Blame Ranma instead. Go on, try it! It's fun!
So you can blame the FFIRC people
Eslington: The what?
Angela: The Feisty, Funny, Incredible Remote Controlled people?
for putting this idea in my head. If I recall correctly, it was
mostly Ginrei's fault.
Makoto: Upon hearing that he was being blamed for this fic, Ginrai
immediately
used hs fault to cause an earthquake, leveling D.B.'s house.
Yep, it's a teaser to a lemon. So be forewarned.
Eslington: <Sommer> It's short, it's a lemon, I'm feeling evil and I
drank three
cans of jolt before writing this.
Angela: That's "four-warned..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Makoto: Ooh... If this rating's correct, this is going to be one hell of
a
lemon...
Softly, silently, Ranma stealthily approached the figure from behind, the
other showing no hint of being aware of Ranma's presence. That suited Ranma
just fine. It gave him a moment to admire the definition of the muscles on
Angela: -Dictionary.com.
the back, hardened and perfectly sculpted. And that ass was mighty visually
appealing as well.
Makoto: <Ranma> Damn, that's one sexy mule.
Eslington: Ew!
He couldn't wait to run his hands, and other body parts,
through the cleft of those delightful asscheeks.
Currently, Ranma's cock was hard enough to pound nails with.
Makoto: Yes, but Ranma's cock doesn't just pound nails! It can cut
steel! It can
sand wood! It secures drywall! This tool is thirty-seven tools in one!
And it's
yours for just fifty-nine ninety-five!
Eslington: Order now and get Ranma's nipples, the ultimate painting and
decorating implement, absolutely free!
Angela: Guys...
At last the
moment he had waited for had arrived. It was time to finally give in to
those desires he had possessed since first laying eyes upon this unexpected
love of his life. Others would probably make him pay the price later, but
his love would not be denied. Besides, he had to bury his raging hard on in
something.
Angela: Ranma later regretted that wish as Shampoo arrived, cut off that
raging
hard on and buried it in concrete under a Tokyo highway.
"So you finally came.
Makoto: <Ranma> Nope, That doesn't happen until the end of the lemon.
I've been waiting for you to return," the other said.
Cocky to the extreme,
Eslington: I wonder if that was unintentional...
Ranma bragged, "Yeah, I was just waiting for the right
time, you know. When I thought you were ready to handle me." He ran his hand
along those firm buttocks. They felt even better than he thought they would.
They were just irresistible.
"I felt the same way. Why do you think I was so jealous of that Akane girl?"
The figure replied, spreading its wings to enfold Ranma.
Makoto: Wait a second...
Eslington: Yes?
Makoto: So far, D.B.'s been using phrases like "its", "the figure" and
"the
other."
Angela: I noticed that too. This reeks of misdirection.
Eslington: It does?
Angela: And there was that warning at the start of the fic too...
Makoto: I think we can all see where this is going.
Eslington: Really? Where?
Angela: ... Should we tell him?
Makoto: Nah, let's let him work it out for yourself.
"And since you've
defeated me, by the laws of my own people, I am yours to do with as you
please."
Makoto: <Ranma> Really? Cool! Can I use you as an end table?
Angela: <Figure> No.
How Amazonish. "Great. Then no one can complain."
Angela: <Ranma> Except Brian Payne, Miashara, Max Nash, Light Hawk,
Neplusultra,
Ryo Muhoshida, Druid, Akihiro, Gary Kleepe and Krista Perry. But aside
from
that, no-one can complain.
Ranma had heard the desire
in the other's voice. It was just as Ranma knew it would be. No one could
resist his charms. Not even a member of the Mount Phoenix tribe. "Get ready
to receive the ride of your life, Saffron, you stud. Now bend over and grab
your ankles."
Angela and Makoto: *Stare expectantly at Eslington*
Eslington: What?
Makoto: Well?
Eslington: Well what?
Angela: Aren't you going to respond to that?
Eslington: To what?
Makoto: To the fact that it's Saffron, and not Kiima as you were
expecting.
Eslington: Kiima? I knew all along it was Saffron.
Angela: You're kidding.
Eslington: No, really. The title of the fic is "Enter the Phoenix" and
Saffron
is the only human Phoenix in the series. I assumed it was him, seeing
D.B. isn't
twisted enough to use the "Phoenix sword" phoenix.
Makoto: Oh.
Angela: Well this was MUCH less interesting than I thought it was going
to be.
The recently returned to adult form Saffron looked at Ranma, startled.
"Aren't you going to change into a girl first?"
Ranma snorted as he handled Saffron's veiny shaft.
Makoto: <Ranma> Hey cool! There's quartz in this mine!
It figured bird-brain
would be a bit bigger than him. But Ranma would show him that size didn't
matter (at least not in his case). It was all in technique. "No way. I'm a
guy and only like sex that way. Now let me get some lube here so I can..."
Enter the Phoenix
Angela: It all makes sense now...
A Ranma/Saffron lemon
Never coming
Makoto: Wow, that must be frustrating.
to a mailing list near you.
Of course, if anyone wants to continue it, be my guest, you sick bastard. :)
I think that takes care of my evil deed for the day.
Eslington: What? No evil laughter?
D.B. Sommer
***
Eslington: Well guys, any comments?
Makoto: I dunno. Erm... Amusing in a weird kind of way?
Angela: I think the misdirection methods could do with a little work but
yes,
amusing in a weird kinda way.
Eslington: Well, there we have it. Amusing in a weird kinda way. I'd
like to
thank D.B. Sommer for allowing me to do this and to apologise to Ginrai,
Brian
Payne, Miashara, Max Nash, Light Hawk, Neplusultra, Ryo Muhoshida,
Druid,
Akihiro, Gary Kleepe and Krista Perry. Sorry guys.
Makoto: So, no end sketch this time?
Eslington: Nope.
THE END.
Oh, and apologies to everyone else too. ^_^ Sorry about this.
Eslington.