Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C][Dirty Pair/Iria] Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot chapter 5
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 12/6/2000, 1:41 AM
To: "Kichigai" <Kichigai@tds.net>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>

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Almost done with the backlog I planned doing. With any luck I'll be writing

by tomorrow:



Did pretty much most of your grammar recommendations.









About time I got to this:



$Ayeah, I'll second that.  I got so busy with RL and my own fics that I

got

behind again.  Oh, and when are you posting that lemon?



As mentioned in a previous response, never. You have to go my wepage for it.

No way am I cluttering up the list with 140+K of that particular story.

Horrifying thing is I did 85% of it in the span of two and a half days.

Probably a record for writing speed for me.



http://angcobra.jumpfun.com/dbsommer.html







And then the head snapped back just as lightning quick, restored in its

original position in the brim of Zeiram's head.



$Ah, so that's how she lives.



Yep. Beats being saved by your hubby. :)





Inexplicably, the giant

green creature turned and strode away just as purposefully as it had when

it

approached Iria's prone form.



$He just remembered that he'd left the gas on back home.



I'm the same way. You wouldn't imagine how many people I haven't killed

because of that.





The ship touched the ground and a ramp lowered from its midsection. Zeiram

maintained the same steady pace it had before the craft landed. Had it

called the freighter down, or was there some other factor involved?



$More likely someone called it.



As they figure out later.





"Not... get away," Iria managed to get out under her breath. She watched

through a veil of pain as Zeiram approached the ramp. The bounty hunter

knew

she could survive, would survive, to avenge Kei and Yuri, though it was

Kei

she was really thinking of.



$I'm sure Iria's on Yuri's christmas list, too.



It's just a question of priorities.





Unable to feel the fingers on the wrist Zeiram had stepped on, she placed

the gun on the ground and went to her belt for the device. Her fingers

fumbled around through the pouches as she tried to locate it. She knew she

had a mobile transmitter head in her belt. She knew it! She just had to

find

the right pouch it was in.



$Heh, like me in front of a bartender.  I'm sure I've got my license

around

here somewhere...



Don't have that problem myself. I mustbe getting old. :(





Zeiram was less than twenty meters from the ship, whose engines were still

running. She had to hurry, or else it would be too late. The monster was

only ten meters away when her fingers finally closed on the desired piece.

It was the only item with a smooth flat head.



$As opposed to the several with smooth, round heads.



Nah. She only carries one of those.





up the ramp. She moved quickly, her eyes tearing as the quick movement

caused a new wave of pain to shoot through her. She tried lining up the

sights, but the tears made her vision watery and her hand was wavering.

She

would never make the difficult shot.



$Shoot the ship, then.  It's a hell of a lot easier target.



Transmitter wouldn't make it through the atmosphere. It's not that sturdy.







The large tiny projectile shot through the air in a straight line in the

direction of the ship, impacting into the hardened earth right under where

Zeiram's foot had been but a moment before.



$That dirt won't get away from her!



Nope. Dirt is dead meat now.





Iria's eyes remained focused on the light until it disappeared completely

from sight. It was over. There was no more strength left in her to fight

any

longer. She had failed everyone, from herself to the people of Yanki's

Beautiful Haven, though it was Kei that was foremost on her mind. Kei that

meant the most of them all. The most by far.



$Is sort of difficult to care about people you never met.



True, but you can care about them in the abstract way you care about

humanity.





"I'm sorry." The apology barely escaped Iria's lips. Already her breath

was

beginning to mist from the cold air, the planet unable to contain enough

heat necessary for survival now that atmospheric processor was destroyed.



$That must have been a really little spot they had going.



This is where the effect is felt first. Spreading out rapidly though. Takes

years to terraform and can take minutes to destroy, at least at this stage.

God has a much easier time of it. :)





And the air was getting harder to breathe. That was the thicker atmosphere

slowly leaking away, being replaced by the lighter one that originally

circled the planet, one filled with only trace amounts of oxygen. Darkness

beckoned while its brother, Pain, pushed her forward into its black

embrace.

Lacking the strength, and more importantly, the heart to fight it, she

allowed herself to fall into a dreamless void.



$No eyecatching hallucination sequence?



Nah. already had a dream sequence in the last one.



absolute obedience to its progenitor, and killing everything not like it

and

its siblings.



$Whaddaya know, it's a Nazi.



Nah. It's not wearing stylish jackboots. :)



The change in the elemental composition of the air mattered little to it.

It

could breathe just about anything. It could even travel through deep space

if it had to, entering a state of semi-hibernation until arriving at

whatever destination it was called to. But it received no summons to

follow

the progenitor, so instead it moved around and sought more things to kill.



$Simple minds, simple pleasures.



True. Nothing else in there to detract from it. Sort of like little children





It slithered through shattered buildings and long conduits of pipes until

it

found another not like it thing. The other rested on the open ground, but

it

could feel the thing that was not like it still radiating heat and

breathing. It would solve that problem quickly.



$Methinks not.



A reasonable guess.





It sped across the ground, mindful of the other possibly rising up and

trying to destroy it. Other things not like it had tried to do that, but

they had all failed and been killed. It could conceive of when things not

like it tried to prevent it from carrying out its tasks, and it would

avoid

those attacks so it could kill the others instead. Being attacked didn't

make the creature angry; it wasn't able to care about that either.



$Besides, they were dead.



True.



drew back its head and prepared to rip out the throat and feast on the

other's flesh, unknowingly mirroring what its progenitor had done several

minutes before, though this time having no intention of stopping at the

last

moment.



$I'm sure Zeiram didn't either.



Well, so to speak.





A white hot bolt of energy lanced through its head, disintegrating over

half

of its brain in less then a micro-second. The last thing it heard was,

"Good

boy."



And then there was nothing.



$These things are too literal minded.



Nah. Just obediant. :)





xxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Sounds drifted in the white haze that she floated in. The white was nice,

but she felt naked and bare when it retreated and made her aware of

something other than the white.



$It was a very sensual feeling.



Or it would be except for the upcoming bout of pain she's about to

experience.





There were only sounds at first, but eventually the sounds seemed to form

patterns. It took a while for her brain to establish that the patterns

were

recognizable. Words. The sounds were words. Now all that remained was to

decipher them.



$Reminds me a lot of waking up in the morning.



Yep. Kind of what I was going for.





"-am telling you that I'm still cold. We would definitely have frozen to

death before suffocating."



"And I'm telling you that it was getting too hard to breathe quicker. We'd

have suffocated first."



$Ah, arguing over the details of the mission report I see.  Otherwise I

doubt they'd care.



It's just a silly argument. No real point to it. Just a general

disagreement.





"All right, I'll grant you we'd have passed out before hypothermia set it,

but we would definitely have frozen to death before our bodies suffocated.

Remember, you don't need as much oxygen when you're asleep."



$The funny thing is, they're both wrong.  The zeonoid would have ate them

long before they died of either.



Fine. Bring him into it. :)





"No, no, no. You're all wrong. I... oh, look. Iria's starting to move."



$Well, if you'd quit poking her with that stick, she might go back to

sleep.  She's not dead, you know.



Heh. Like that one.





"I'm dead too?" Iria's voice cracked with strain, as though she hadn't

spoken for a week.



$No one noticed the faint lilt of hope when she said that.



Heh. Again. Nice touch today.





The particular outburst-cum-insult caused Kei to scowl at her partner.

Giving Yuri a bland stare, the redhead said one word. "Clydesdales."



$Apparently, Yuri was jealous of Kei's performance on Phallus Five, and

decided to do a little intensive training of her own.



Tsk, tsk. Who said sex had anything to do with it? Suggest perhaps, but

that's only because you know me.







"Yuri, there are some things that are so disturbing they can never truly

be

erased from anyone's mind." Kei seemed highly amused now.



$Damn.  There goes my hope for future psychotherapy.  Apparently, I'm

screwed.



Was there ever any doubt? :)





Falling to her knees, Yuri blurted out in a panicked stream, "I'll do

whatever you want whenever you want, just don't ever mention that word to

me

again."



$Tramatic experience, I see.



I'm cutting back on her reaction. It's too over the top, as someone else

mentioned.





"What word?" Kei asked, now happy at having the upper hand.



$Yuri: The one you just said, clydesdales.  Don't ever mention it again.

Kei raises one eyebrow.



Luckily Yuri is a little brighter than that. Kei might have done it, though,

if she was stressed out.







Iria found herself convinced that she must be alive, as it was

categorically

impossible she would end up in the same place in the afterlife with either

of her current companions. "So what's going on? How did you two survive?"



$Complicated story involving an ancient chinese amazon secret technique

and

a pack of chewing gum.



Which I will not be writing about either. :)







A measure of pride returned to Yuri as she preened slightly. "Just as the

building was coming down on top of us, I noticed we were standing on the

section of floor right above the coolant tanks for the atmospheric

generator. So I emptied my gun into the floor, which gave way,



$After the building hit them, unfortunately.  The concussion was mild,

though.



The building bounced off Kei's chest. :)





"And the radioactive elements in the coolant were really low and it didn't

permanently affect us or anything," Kei added, happy that she wasn't

glowing

in the dark.



$But think about how much they would have saved on the light bill!  And if

they ever ran out of fuel, I could just see Yuri doing her damndest to

cram

Kei into a reactor core, under the principle that Kei didn't know near

enough about nuclear physics to do it herself.



Hehehehe.







"We didn't want you getting any blood in our beds," Yuri said casually,

eliciting a quick elbow to the ribs from Kei.



$Makes perfect sense to me.



Yes, but discretion dictactes we do not mention everything involved on our

decision making processes. Otherwise one gets into unecessary trouble.





 The raven-haired 3WA agent

shot her partner a nasty look. "Excuse me, but as I recall, the first

words

out of your lips were, 'she's not bleeding on my sheets'."



$Hmm, I'll pass on that one.



Hadn't thought of that myself.





Giving a sad shake of her head, Iria tried to rise from the bed and into a

sitting position, but a wave of dizziness swept over her and she found

herself unable to get more than a handful of inches up before having to

settle back down again. "What's wrong with me?"



$Yuri: You're loaded to the gills on morphine.  Enjoy it while you can,

we've got to arrest you for illegal drug possesion later.



Irony. Gotta love it.





Kei heard the edge in Iria's voice. Speaking quickly to calm her mentor,

she

said, "Not much, really. Just a sprained wrist, two broken ribs, numerous

contusions, second degree burns along the back of your neck and scalp, and

a

minor concussion. Sort of like what happens when you slip on a bar of soap

in the bathroom while carrying a grenade with the pin pulled out."



$Speaking from experience I see.



Nah. It was a couple of sticks of dynamite for Kei.



something as insignificant as a paper cut. Worse, it was completely

random.

Someone could use the bandages several times with no ill effects, and then

suddenly end up dying from a minor gash. The number of people affected was

a

low percentage, which was why Acenon was still manufactured and utilized,

but it did happen.



"I use them all the time," Iria slurred dismissively.



$Un hunh, sure.



We'll find out the truth in a moment.





"You've used them five times in ten years, under heavy protest from me

each

time," Bob's voice was identical to that of a mother reminding her child

that jumping into a raging blast furnace was probably a bad idea.



$But then again, Bob used that tone all the time, firmly convinced as he

was that he was surrounded by idiots.



Sadly, he was right.





Kei placed a hand firmly on Iria's shoulders, making her lay back down.

"That settles it. You kick back and enjoy your drug induced dreams.



$Say 'High' to Jerry Garcia for me, will ya?



Heh.



pillow as her eyes became heavy lidded. "Okay, but wake me up if you find

Zeiram." Iria's voice drifted off, with the word "Zeiram" taking three

times

longer to finish than it normally would.



$Happens when you temporarily forget what you were doing.



Or just starting to nod off.





fluttered open. Sensing the Lovely Angels would not be returning anytime

soon, the bounty hunter focused with every ounce of remaining

concentration

she possessed. It seemed to take forever for her to summon enough strength

to roll out of bed and onto the floor, her fall only being interrupted by

the deck plates underneath.



$Amazingly convenient things, floors.  And we never do really appreciate

them until they're not there.



Just like gravity.







"I could call Kei and have her strap you to the bed," Bob offered.



$And do all sorts of naughty things, he didn't quite add.  He'd been

surfing far too many porn sites of late.



Well, an artificial intellegence doesn't need sleep and needs to do

something to pass the time.







There was a little twinge from Yuri's conscience, just a tiny thing that

protested what she was considering, but realistically there was no

question

that it had to be done. They had failed to bring in Zeiram again, had

nearly

died in the attempt, which meant it was time to call in reinforcements.



$It's not often she does it, even in that kind of situation.



But it's called for here. They are having a lot of lack of success, and this

is not a case they were assigned. Meaning the #WA doesn't even know about it

yet.





Bob would probably be okay with her decision, he seemed to be the

reasonable

sort, but Iria and Kei would raise hell about it. It wasn't Iria's

reaction

Yuri was so much concerned about, but rather Kei's. They were partners

after

all, and she loved Kei like a sister.



$But not like a redneck sister, unfortunately.  Otherwise this would have

a

'lemon' tag.



Heh. This seems to be a good place for people to insert smart remarks.







"Nah. I didn't mess up anything." Kei took a sip of the coffee. "I

deliberately erased your report. You can't really call that 'fooling

around', now can you?"



$Depends on your definition.  If you deliberately sleep with someone other

than your girlfriend, is that still considered fooling around?



If you are the guy, certainly not. If you are the girl, it really doesn't

matter since in her eyes you will have automatically screwed up something

and should be punished for it.







"The hell we can!" Yuri slammed her hand down on the console. It was the

wiser course of action, preferable to going with her initial urge and

hitting Kei, but it felt nowhere near as satisfying.



$Give into the urge.



In a moment.



This is personal for you and Iria, Kei. It's been that way from the

beginning. You two just have to settle this personal vendetta and screw

everyone else who might get hurt in the process, just so long as its you

two

who take out Zeiram in the end!"



$She acts like there's something wrong with that.



Well, if avoidable deaths can be prevented by their actions.





"We're the best suited for the job!"



"But you're not the only ones suited for it," Yuri said with iron in her

voice.



$A five iron, to be precise.



Heh.





struck the corner of the console hard. Her body continued onward, crashing

'pleasantly' to the metal of the floor, bouncing only once before settling

down on the cool surface.



$Final proof that Kei has the better rack.  She would have bounced twice.



Heh. again.





"Don't call Iria that!



$That's not exactly a bad name.



This has also been mentioned before. I'll try to make it more offensive,

though Kei is supposed to be overreacting to it. She's overprotective about

Iria at the moment.





 Don't you dare call her anything like that ever

again, Yuri!" Kei shouted through her tears.



$Bubbles flew everywhere.



Don't get that one.





Kei watched Yuri try to get up, then fall onto her back, eyes almost

rolling

into the back of her head. Her anger became mixed with concern. No matter

how pig-headed and offensive Yuri was behaving, they were still partners,

and it did look like she had hit her head hard against the console.



$The large dent sort of made it obvious.



Nah. Kei would get angry because Yuri would probably be the one to make her

fix it.





"No way, blubberguts." Yuri tried picking herself up using the chair for

support, only to seemingly have the chair move itself from out of her

grasp

and cause her collapse to the floor again.



$Sneaky little bastards, always darting just out of reach.



This was a case of drawing on personal experience. After taking a good shot

to the head, you can feel like someone's thrown you in a dryer with the

'spin dry' cycle on.





 "Computer, make the room stop

spinning," she ordered.



$Heh.



Thanks.





"We don't have an... audio response system... chunky." Kei managed to get

to

her feet first, looking for something to hit Yuri with. Fists were nice,

but

there was something infinitely more satisfying about pummeling someone

with

a large metal object.



$Been watching wrestling lately, eh?



Nah. They haven't had any wrestling on for about five years now. :P





Yuri at last regained her own footing, somewhat shakily, and confronted

Kei

once again. The two squared off more cautiously than before.



Kei moved first, lunging at Yuri and determined to use her slight strength

advantage to overpower her in a clench. Yuri countered by twisting in the

direction she had already been swooning towards, so that it was Kei that

met

the floor hard instead.



$How did Kei fall?  I think you're a little vague there.



>From missing her lunge. Will make it clearer.





 Although at the last second Kei had lashed out with

her hand and caught Yuri by the top of her outfit, dragging the

dark-haired

woman down to the floor as well and slowing her fall with Yuri's

resistance.



$Damn, they really need a pit filled with either mud or jello.



Heh. Then Bob really would have released the video. :)





Yuri had a death grip on Kei's hair, while Kei had one of Yuri's arms bent

behind her back,



$Personally, I'd want the arm.  You can fight perfectly well without hair.



Not as it's being ripped out by its roots. :)







Bob continued using the Lovely Angel's bridge console to talk smoothly to

them. "I think we'll dub it, 'The Dirty Pair Get Down and Nasty'. Send a

little preview through the galactic net, and I see preorders stretching

into

the billions."



$That's 'Lovely Angels!'



Was intentional on his part to get their attention.





Yuri looked down at her top, seeing that one of her breasts had popped

free

when Kei had grabbed her by it. She gave a yelp and promptly covered it up

once again.



$If she could have she'd have kicked Bob in his electric nuts.



Heh.





"So much for the free show," Bob sighed.



"Look you," Yuri warned,



$Bob: Oh, I assure you, I was.



Heh. I hadn't caught that one either.



"What information was that?" Yuri asked, relaxing somewhat from the

distraction and mystery.



$Kei promptly cold-cocked her.



Already used that sort of gag in 'Those Who Hunt Ninjas' (No. That's not a

plug. Really)



"Let's get back together with Iria first. I don't want to have to explain

things twice."



$Why?  He could just record it and set it for repeat while he went and

looked up porn.  Heh, he probably does that anyway.



Nah. Me might actually have to answer a question during the explanation. You

know how angry women get when they pick up on the fact you're not listening

to them rant. :)





"Ah, Bob, you didn't videotape that, did you?" Kei asked hesitantly.



"Now Kei, would I do something like that?"



$I'll take that as a yes.





Kei picks up on the omission as well.



"You're avoiding answering the question," Yuri informed him.



"I would never sell a videotape of you two in a compromising position."



$Woohoo!  It's free!



Heh.





"Well, that's better-" Kei began.



 "At least not without digitally fogging your faces first."



$No one would buy it, then.



Perhaps.





"What about Senchiro Sykes?"



"For your information, he was a hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodites don't count.

And it wasn't like I knew he was one until we..."



Bob tuned everything out after that. There were some things no man, even

one

reduced to being a computer intelligence, wanted to know.



$I'll second that.



Same here. My mind didn't even try to come up with the backstory there. :P





"You're a complete idiot!"



"A complete idiot? Good. I hate doing things halfway."



$That's the spirit.



Yep.





"Tell her she's bring a complete idiot, Bob!"



"I can't. She'll cut me off from cyber-porn sites, and then I really will

go

insane."



$Yeah, but it'd be so much cheaper.



Nah. Bob can hack into them for nothing. :)



since Iria was sitting up in her bed, doing a damn poor job of hiding just

how much suffering she was in. The pain was coming from the Acenon

Bandages

she had wrapped around her torso and neck. Painkillers wouldn't work any

more once the bandages were in place. Something about the Acenon negating

the effect of any drug. It was the price one paid for ultra-quick healing.



$That and 305.95 per box.



Of course, that goes without saying.





shot across the chamber and ripped the bandages off herself. Only the

knowledge that any potential damage would already have occurred staved off

that action, though not by much. Instead, Kei had gone into a

tongue-lashing

that even Iria would have winced at, had she not been already wincing from

her wounds and bandages. "Complete idiot" was probably the most pleasant

appellation Kei had made so far.



$The one about the goat cheese and Iria's probable lineage had been the

most interesting, however.



Oui.





 There had been plenty of others that would

have made a Progtalian smuggler blush. As far as Yuri was concerned, she

agreed with Kei, but figured it wasn't her place to take a side. It was

Iria's life, and she had the right to take it into her own hands. And that

wasn't considering the bounty hunter was not exactly Yuri's favorite

person

in the galaxy at the moment.



$Quick, get the gun!  There's a green eyed monster on board!



Yep. Glad it wasn't too subtle.





That perked all three women up, even the pain-shrouded Iria.



"All of them?" Kei asked.



$Well, no, only one, but it still applies.



heh. Actually there is an exception.





There was hesitation in Bob's voice. "Well, all but the mining operation.

That was owned by Sarvgon, a small geology corporation that operates in

this

arm of the galaxy. But all of the others were owned by YSC. And there's

something else. Once I made the YCS connection, I did some additional

digging, that's why I needed borrowed your pass codes to get the

information



$Make up your mind.  Either needed or borrowed.



Oops. "borrowed'



"Well, this is a bit of a jump in logic, but when Tedan-Tippendai went

belly

up after the Zeiram fiasco, they were bought out by a company called the

Tormend Confederation."



$That name sounds familiar.



Not sure why. Thought I just came up with it.







"Where's the next closest YSC owned operation?" Iria asked, her pain

pushed

to the background for the time being as the scent of the hunt filled her

senses once again.



$That or she just needs a shower.



Actually it was that and she does need a shower.



owned by a corporation, is definitely not the method of operation Zeiram

used last time. He definitely went with something more along the lines of

a

'see it, kill it,' philosophy."



$That and 'Bring friends.'



Actually 'Make friends'. Although in his case it's literal since he only

needs to chew on lifeforms than create friends using his and their genetic

structures.





that freighter he used on the space station landed and gave him a ride off

planet. I wasn't in any shape to consider what had happened up until now,

but the more I think about it, the more I believe that he didn't summon

that

ship anymore than he flew it off the space station like we first assumed.

I

think someone else landed it and picked him up. I think Zeiram has himself

a

partner."



$Or a master.



Which they believe later.





Zeiram vulnerable for only a handful of seconds. Whatever it was that made

tall dark and ugly leave, it wasn't Gren."



No one was foolish enough to imply Zeiram's reaction came from a sudden

conversion to pacifism. That seemed to leave only one reasonable option.

Yuri was the one to give voice to it. "Someone's controlling Zeiram?"



$Give the girl a donut.



Kei: Nah. Her thighs are getting big. Better make it a rice cake.







Kei was all for it, which was exactly what Yuri had mentally predicted was

going to happen when she saw the direction the conversation was taking.

Naturally with their obsessions they would overlook a significant detail.

It

was up to Yuri to force the issue by making them confront the potential

problem, even if the other two did not want to hear it.



$At least, thats what she told herself.  She really just wanted to feel

superior by pointing it out.



Heh



Baltron while they were searching Omicron 4, any ensuing deaths that

resulted from the planet not being warned would be their responsibility.

Still, to warn them would mean letting information about Zeiram out and

possibly having him and his associates go into hiding, if their guesses

were

right. If they were and that happened, Zeiram might not surface again for

years, if ever.



$Well, good.



Or he'll do one time stands, never giving people the ability to catch him as

he is too elusive.





"We'll send a warning about the freighter. Say there's a Class-1

Biological

Hazard on board and that the ship is not to land under any circumstances,

even if it means shooting it down. That should do it." Iria didn't like

tipping their hand about suspecting where Zeiram would strike, but since

they had to admit there was a realistic possibility he would attack there,

they had to do something to protect the people.



$Who are probably already screwed.



You'll find out.





Kei looked at Yuri, who seemed to accept the decision reluctantly.

Technically Zeiram could be rated as a Class-1 Biological Hazard.



$So could that 'meal' Kei made, but you don't hear them complaining about

it.



Nah. She made it right. It just tasted nasty to most lifeforms that have

tastebuds. :)





reentry to the atmosphere. The remaining Kintups served as a backup in

case

something did happen to Optima 4, allowing it to be pressed into service

once again until another of the Optima series could be put up to replace

the

old one. But since nothing ever happened to the state of the art relay

system, no one ever bothered to man the communications console for the old

Kintups, allowing the satellite to log all of the messages it received on

automatic.



$Sorta like my mail filter.



Heh.





Had anyone bothered to examine the logs on the remaining Kintups, they

would

have discovered an anomaly; a warning about a freighter with a Class 1

Biological Hazard that had not been relayed by Optima 4 to planetary

control. However no one ever did examine it, so no one ever discovered the

omission.



$Sorta like my 'To do' file.



Hehehehe.





But Optima 4 had indeed received the transmission. It failed to transmit

the

message to planetary control due to a number of hidden backdoors

programmed

into it,



$Sorta like anything made by microsoft.



Now, now. You're assuming they have the ability to make backdoors that work.

:)





 and that someone had recently given it a set of orders that

superseded the commands that had been inserted by the Baltron Planetary

Government. Instead, the message was relayed somewhere else, a place where

others had been keeping their 'ears' open for such bits of information. A

place where decisions were made.



"Transmit orders to Group Beta. They'll know what to do."



$Mill around and act confused?



Mysterious Overlord: Exactly. MUHAHAHAHA!





The police's position nearly three-quarters of a kilometer away from the

headquarters allowed the trio to view the almost total carnage before

them.

YSC had purchased the land all around their main building, making it a

variety of parking lots and areas of green lawn that would have been very

pleasing to the eye had it not been for the over half dozen smoking

vehicles

that were lying in complete ruin around the site.



$Depends on one's sense of taste.  Personally, I like smoking wreckage.



But you are a devient personality, remember. :)





 Well over twenty bodies

could be seen sprawled out over the grounds, none of them even close to

the

structure (which could only be dubbed 'surrounded' using the loosest form

of

the term) by the remaining members of the local authorities, who were

cowering behind their vehicles well beyond the nearest flaming ruin. No

one

seemed the least bit eager to approach the headquarters again.



$Ah, Darwinism in action.



Yep. Big proponent of that.



observed that there was a noticeable tension between them. Hopefully, it

wouldn't affect the mission. She would grill Kei about what had happened

later, after they had taken care of Zeiram for the final time.



$In another chapter or two, although methinks there'll be resolution

before

then.



Ye shall see. No spoilers on remaining length.





Once informed of who the commander was, they located him in short order.

He

was the a rotund man squatting behind a police hover vehicle, surrounded

by

a small pile of used cigarettes at his feet and holding a sidearm in one

hand and a radio in the other. He was yelling at the radio through another

dangling cigarette in his mouth.



$Them things'll kill you, you know.



Heh. So will too much sun. I refuse to be afraid anymore.





"-get me some goddamn support, you military screwjobs! No, I don't care if

you don't have jurisdiction and it'll cause an incident! No, I don't care

if

your coming here does trigger a civil war with the city authorities, we've

already got a war right here, you blue-coated weaselshafts! WHAT?! You'll

send in observer to determine if the situation requires your assistance?!

Observe this, you warmongering whore!" The man brought his gun up and shot

the transmitter, nearly taking his hand off in the process.



$Heh.  I like him.



He's like a watered down Cyanide. :)





"You sure showed him," Yuri commented dryly as they drew near enough to

the

commander to be heard over the din of panicked confusion his men were in,

noting that the name tag on his badge said, 'Renaldo Simms.'



$Is this some character from the game?



Not to my knowledge. The last 'Renaldo' I remember was in an issue of the

old Johnny Blaze Ghost Rider series, towards the end. The one working with

Freakmaster. Easy to see why the series was cancelled shortly thereafter.





 All the rest of

his men had succeeded in doing so far was keeping the civilian population

back and away from the site, although maybe it was the people's survival

instincts that accomplished that feat.



$Sure, sure, dis the man even more.





Always kick them when they're down. Best time to do it.



Simms took in the trio before him. He didn't seem to know what to make of

Iria, but upon looking Kei and Yuri over, he said. "I've got no time for

hookers, girls. See me after this shit's all over, though knowing my luck,

I'll get tagged in the balls and have to get one of those X-L J. Holmes

prosthetics."



$Holmes lives!



Cool! Was afraid that one would go over all of these 'kids' on the list's

heads. Nice to see someone made the connection.





"We're 3WA troubleshooters, you asshole!" Kei snapped with a vicious glint

in her eye. Yuri appeared just as eager to draw her gun and correct the

officer the hard way, namely by pistol whipping him.



$Shoot him.  He'll have something sarcastic to say about the pistol

whipping.



Heh.





Simms scrutinized them a second time. "Don't you think you guys are a bit

old to be going around in two piece outfits like that. You aren't doing

anyone any favors by showing the effect gravity has on a body, you know."



$And yet I still be he comes through largely unscathed.  Assholes always

seem to.



True. That's why we deal with so many in our lives. They are indestructable.







The commander considered that and nodded in apology. "Sorry. Your sag is

barely noticeable."



$I still like him.



Only a one shot character, I am afraid.





"That anyone could be so far off on the description of a perp," the

officer

finished.



$He's been on the force, what, thirty, forty years?



Heh. And it's still the worst.





Simms placed his hand to his chin in thought. "Well, now that you mention

it, I suppose I could have mistaken several guys wearing black special

forces type jumpsuits and carrying sophisticated state-of-the-art armament

while moving with a military precision that managed to blow up half of the

police force in the city in just over a minute as not being a giant

walking

mushroom.



$Didn't you know?  Giant walking mushrooms on steroids that weild

sophisticated weaponry with ease can look _just like_ a spec-ops team

moving

with military precision and destroying police forces.  It's that swamp gas

reflecting off neptune, it clouds perceptions.  And huge weather balloons

can look just like spaceships when crashing in Roswell, ect, ect...



Yep. But now, in my capacity of not being a member of a government agency

that does not exist, I must hunt you down and silence you in a highly

suspicious manner so as to hide the truth. Where do you live again? :)





 He stood up, bowing and gesturing to the YSC

building. "By all means, help yourselves.



$Kei and Yuri promply start blazing away at the remaining police.



hehehehehe.





Well, he did say help themselves.



 Hope you don't choke on a missile

barrage."



$It'd take something a lot bigger than a missile to make either one of

_those two_ choke...



Hehehehe. Very nice form.







Simms blustered in anger at being tricked into the helping them. "In case

you didn't notice, there isn't a whole lot of help I can give you. We're

completely wasted."



$A waste of flesh and police uniforms, maybe.



Nah. They're just outclassed and outgunned and wisely know it.





Simms blood pressure nearly doubled. "I don't see what you can do. That

whole place is a kill zone. It's all open area and those guys have an

unrestricted view of everything and the firepower to bring down an armored

spaceship. You try getting to that building, and you'll just get

yourselves

wasted."



"We've cracked tougher nuts than this," Kei bragged.



$Coming from Kei...



Another one I missed. *Sigh* You are proving your superiority today.





It was at that point

Simms gave up. The only consolation he had was that since there were three

of them, they weren't the Dirty Pair. If they had been, he'd have probably

jumped off planet in a heartbeat, wife and family be damned.



$They'd only slow him up anyway.



Well, that and he doesn't particularly like them.







Iria spoke first. "As incompetent as this guy is, I think he's right. This

doesn't sound like Zeiram."



$What was your first clue?  The spec-ops uniforms?



Something like that. :)





"You're just looking for an excuse to shoot something," Iria smirked while

ruffling Kei's hair.



$She has been a bit moody lately...



True. Nothing like blowing someone away to lighten one's mood.







The three discussed the plan for all of thirty seconds before coming to an

agreement. Yuri acted as spokesperson for the trio. She went up to the

commander and began listing her demands. "We aren't going to need much to

get into that place. Just one of your larger vehicles, three full body

reinforced firefighting outfits, as big a smokescreen as you can manage, a

hundred, twenty gallon drums of paint thinner and kerosene, a powerful

laser



$hundred and twenty, but why do they have to all be one gallon drums?



No. It's supposed to be one hundred 20 gallon drums. I thought that would be

the way to divide the numbers. Know a better way?





cutting torch, and last but not least, a cinderblock."



$A brick will do.



Nah. Bricks get moved around too easy. Cinderblock is the way to go.





According to the other members of the unit, their tasks were nearly

completed and they could depart through the upper atmosphere once the

signal

for their escort cover was sent. The job had been a messy business, but

that

was what Rene was paid to do. What he had been trained to do. What he

lived

for.



$Well, that and chess.



But chess didn't pay as well.





than that. He would discipline her once they were back at the nearest

safehouse they were delivered to. And it wasn't the sort of discipline

Ohara

would like, even with her unusual tastes.



$He'd stick with plain old torture, rather than the near non-stop barney

marathons she usually watched.



There were limits to evil, after all.





'Number 8' took the admonishment in stride, appearing truly repentant. He

rather liked that part of the training they had been forced to endure,

reinforcing submissiveness to higher ranked personnel. Ranks were

sometimes

all that reminded the men of who their masters truly were.



$Well, that and the signature on the paycheck.



Good point. Others suggested that they should be working for pay like the

other guy in the library rather than the working with threats as is here

originally. Will change.





"Number 22!" Ohara said urgently.



Rene had thought it particularly brilliant designating himself as Number

22.



$Of course, he was also an idiot and prone to thinking his ideas were

brilliant.



Most idiots do. Only the truly brilliant realize how stupid they truly are.





in

a bar that Rene had wanted to get to know better. Maybe it would be

Stroski

next mission too. The woman had been painfully attractive, after all.



$And Rene liked pain.



Heh.





Good looking women were hard to come by for Rene. He would be the first to

admit he was not particularly handsome, balding so much that by the age of

twenty-five he shaved off all of his hair considering it a lost cause



$hair, considering



anyway.



$Good call.



Got that from a friend of mine that swore he would go that way if his hair

went the way his father's did. I myself am happy with the full head of hair

I've got. Still get comments from barbers about how thick it is. :)





 He was slender and possessed a wiry strength, and though not

unattractive, neither was he remarkable in any way save the eyes. Most

people that dared voice their opinion about them claimed they were

slightly

crazed. Rene knew the truth though, they were just jealous of his

superiority.



$He was also a 6089th generation direct descendant of Napoleon.



Of Napoleon's roomate in college, actually.





Rene had to admit, the woman's hearing was even more acute than his own.

Perhaps her punishment would not be so severe after all. Rene had

certainly

done his share of bloodletting today, and his more savage, baser instincts

were satisfied, at least for a while.



$He could put off his seal clubbing appointment until next week.



Nah. He's not Canadian. :)





A titanic fireball blossomed from the truck, the force of the explosion

shattering even the durable windows at a distance of a hundred meters. The

sudden flash of heat blinded both Rene and Ohara, and caused them to cry

in

pain and shut their eyes.



$Even through the goggles?  That's unlikely.



Good point. Have corrected.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxx



"Brilliant work, Kei."



"I have to admit, Iria, that the idea of paint thinner and kerosene was

the

perfect choice of liquids to use."



$Gasoline and Drano would have been better.



Drano is highly flammable?



"A good thing you thought about the firefighting suits to use to walk

through the flames, Yuri. I hate to think what would have happened if we

had

forgotten about that little detail."



$They'd have had to cancel that hot wax leg hair removal appointment, of

course.



True.





"Definitely an all-around good plan." Although Kei thought that

infiltrating

the place by hiding in a giant wooden badger would have worked just as

well.



$Not really, as Rene and crew would have taunted them into submission.  Or

fetched the cow.



They had recieved training against 'Silly English Kaniggits." :)





The others shouldn't have made fun of her idea like that. It was a good

plan

too.



$Never hear me say otherwise.



Nor from me.



to

enter the building would have been to approach through one of the doors or

windows and enter through one of those egresses, hoping they weren't well

covered or else blasting their way in. However, unconventional thought

meant

ignoring the building's openings and making one of their own.



$Hopefully not near a structural support.



There is that outside chance, but they are risk takers. :)





Suddenly the desire to take some of the men alive was quelled in the

women.

Thinking along the same lines, each came up with the idea that one was all

they needed, and even then the survivor didn't need to have all his limbs

in

order to talk about all he knew.



$Try not to break his jaw, though, as they invariably end up speaking with

a lisp.



Can always leave the hands intact and make them write it out.





quick glance she managed to get showed three people, dressed in the same

black uniform as the man Kei had killed on the space station and armed

with

light assault weapons, were approaching cautiously up the corridor in a

loose formation. Taking them all at once would be impossible with how

spread

out they were. She had to lure them closer together.



$Smile for the camera everyone!  You there, get just a little closer in...



Not quite.







waved

Number 23 forward. She moved quickly into the corridor, prepared to shoot

anything that moved. Numbers 12 and 88 provided cover.



Nothing moved in the smoking remains of the upper section of the corridor.

The closest room's door was blown off its hinges, the force of the

explosion

had been that powerful.



$Yes, but was the door open at the time?



No.





"Any sign of remains?" Number 12 whispered. It was possible the body had

been destroyed if the grenade had detonated right on top of their

opponent.

He had seen it happen before. Maybe they could find some teeth.



$His cover was a dental assistant.



Heh.



"Pigs," Ginger snapped. It figured they would notice a woman's chest

first,

even while they were shooting at her. All except Ginger's chest. They

never

checked it or her out. They all just cringed, and all because she was the

unit's top interrogator.



$Hah!  She gives the term 'nice rack' a whole new meaning.



Hehehehe. True.





 Was it her fault she was good at her work and

enjoyed it so much? A quiet country girl like her might have thought the

others were afraid of her or something.



$But that was definitly giving too much credit for intelligence to a

country girl.  She really didn't notice.



Heh, again. Very nice work this time out.





"That takes care of that," Number 12 started to say, then looked more

closely at the top that Number 23 was tossing contemptuously away. "Hey,

wait a minute. If she was blown up so badly, why is the top still in one

piece?"



$A bit slow on the uptake here, are we?  A little hard for me to swallow.



He's expecting to see something and has been rewarded with what he wants to

believe. That's why his first reaction is to 'put two and two together' so

to speak. However as you can see once the initial reaction fades, he

realizes the mistake he made. Just that it was too late.





"Because I tossed it out there to distract you," Kei said as she sprung

from

out of the nearby room and shot the nearest man, Number 88, before moving

on

to Numbers 12 and 23, neither getting a chance to do more than bring their

guns up and reflexively fire into the floor as they died.



$Heh heh, the sight of a bare-breasted Kei has caused many a man to shoot

too early and in the wrong place.



HAHAHAHA! Excellent. Best one yet.





The redhead continued her search looking for more compliments as well as

people to kill.



$Frequently in that order.



Hard to do the other way around, isn't it?





them. And once she used it, she was out of options.



$What, does it run out of juice?



Nah. But she has to wait to catch it again, and she'd be vulrnerable then.



order, always keeping one eye on the hall should she be further down and

try

making a break for it. Their caution paid off as, during a search of the

third room, Yuri ran out of hers and made for the adjoining corridor.



Number 18 saw her and shouted a warning to the others. Just as he lined

her

up in his rifle's sights, she flung something white behind her and in his

direction.



$Panties!



No. His real name is not Happosai or Ryu Saeba.







"Move!" The others did as they were instructed, trying to catch up to

Yuri.

Taki was pissed as hell. No one made a fool of him and got away with it.

No

one.



$There's a real problem with saying and/or thinking that.  It tends to

happen.



Oui. He does fall into that trap.





heard

two more cries of pain from behind. The gun fell to the ground as Number

18

went down to his knees and clutched at his neck, blood pouring from

between

his fingers as though his hands weren't even there.



$Gambit, eat yer heart out.



And she doesn't even need a mutant power to make them deadly.





Yuri walked up to him and grabbed his rifle for herself. "You're right.

That

was the last time I'll make a fool of you."



$Right.  Did she pick up the card?



Caught it on its return. Since no one was shooting at her, she was able to .





xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



"Number 55? Number 18? Number 12?



$Rene: Hey!  I just won the lotto!



No. He's going to have a much bloodier end.





think she took out Argus's team as well. But I can confirm with one

hundred

percent certainty the purge was a success." His voice was quiet, full of a

fear Rene had never heard from him before. Okari had always been a good,

strong man. "I think she's a troubleshooter. I'm exchanging fire with her,

but I doARGH!"



$Doargh?  Repeat, damn you, repeat!



Heh.







Rene scowled at the question. "Wait thirty seconds. I'll be in position by

then. I guarantee it. We'll nail that bitch for sure." He placed his hands

on their shoulders, the first show of affection he had ever given either

of

them. "I'm counting on you. Of all the people in the unit, you're the two

I've held in the highest regard. I mean that."



$*snort*



Have reworded it slightly so it's less cheesy, but the reader can suspect

what is going to happen.





The two looked at each other and practically beamed at the praise. Their

commander never praised anyone.



$That in itself would have made me suspicious.



yes. But these are bad guys, and infinitely more gullible.



"Then get moving," Rene said, watching the two depart. Once certain they

had

gone, he initiated the second part of his plan.



$Hide in the bodies and hope they go away?



Close.







Almost at the very moment she ducked behind her cover two people, dressed

in

the same outfits as the others, shot out from the doorway and opened fire

on

her. She snapped off a laser bolt that struck high over the first man, but

before she could shoot a second time two crimson bolts of energy lashed

out

from where they had sprung from.



$Poor Rene, they probably could have got her if he hadn't shot them.

Would

have been nicely ironic.



But then the fic would lose half its crossover potential too soon. :)







Slowly, almost inaudibly, he got out, "They...killed everyone else. I hid,

until I found a gun on a dead body and...are they dead?"



"As dead as a ten day old gravisteds," Iria said.



$To the confusement of everyone.



Heh.







Iria placed her gun on the ground and went to open his lab jacket.



$Annt!  She broke rule #1!



Yep. But she needed two free hands for a moment.







 The stupid fool, allowing her compassion to override

common sense and caution. However, it was ungracious of him to criticize

her; she had been outmatched from the beginning. It was a pity he had to

shoot two of his own people in the back to lower the woman's guard, but he

was a master of chess, and knew the necessity of sacrificing pawns in

order

to win the game.



"Checkmate," Rene bragged as he tightened his grip on the trigger.



$Of course, he broke rule #3.



Unlike Library Man, who didn't say a word. Not all bad guys are alike.







Blood splattered over Iria's armor as the gun fell away from her chin. She

stood up, looking in the direction that the shot had come from. Once again

she owed her life to Kei, or maybe it was Yuri this time. It was as she

rose

to her full height that she saw exactly who her savior truly was.



$Jesus Christ our lord, of course.



Nah, the other one.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Kei heard Iria's scream from the room up ahead, unable to determine if it

was from surprise, rage, or pain.



$I might have been from the other person as she promptly started beating

the crap out of him/her.



No. She recongized Iria's shout.





"What's going on here?" Kei tried maintaining an awareness of her

surroundings to prevent anyone from sneaking up on them, but it was

difficult with someone so handsome standing before her, even if it did

seem

as though Iria was on the verge of blowing him away.



$Aww, but that'd be a waste of perfectly good manflesh.





Kei would agree.



Iria kept her gun trained on the man, not allowing it to waver in the

slightest. Through gritted teeth, she was barely able to spit out, "Kei, I

want to introduce you to the biggest waste of flesh that has ever existed.

The one creature in the galaxy that ranks only behind Zeiram as the lowest

form of organism around, and he's a real close second. This pustule that

stands before you is named Eugene Lance Killgore."



$Should I recognise that name?



Shouldn't. Just made it up. You'll see why early in next chapter.





Killgore appeared offended at the comparison, though the smile never left

his features. "Hey there, Sunshine, is that any way to properly introduce

your husband?"



$Whatever works.



More on this in the next chapter, of course.





xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Got distracted with writing

low grade porn



$Speaking of which, when do we get to see?



Already explained at the top of the letter.





 and real life business around these holidays.



$Yeah, finals are here for me and this'll be the last C&C anyone sees out

of me for another week and a half or so.



Gotcha. Thanks for getting this out in time. Who knows, perhaps I'll even

have the next chapter out by then.





Anyway, nice chapter, if a bit long for my tastes.  I like lots of short

quick chapters.



Actually I'm usually the other way, and write long ones, long meaning 50K+.

I take forever to get to the point.



 Mistakes were few, especially there in the middle,

although

there are probably several I missed.  I look forward to low grade porn and

another chapter!



Since you asked so nicely I sent it to you. The porn, not the next chapter.



Thanks a lot for the lengthy and humourous. C+C. It's greatly appreciated.



D.B. Sommer











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