Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Dirty Pair/Iria] Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot chapter 5
From: "Kichigai" <Kichigai@tds.net>
Date: 12/4/2000, 7:34 PM
To: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>, "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>

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About time I got to this:



	$Ayeah, I'll second that.  I got so busy with RL and my own fics that I got

behind again.  Oh, and when are you posting that lemon?





And then the head snapped back just as lightning quick, restored in its

original position in the brim of Zeiram's head.



	$Ah, so that's how she lives.



Inexplicably, the giant

green creature turned and strode away just as purposefully as it had when it

approached Iria's prone form.



	$He just remembered that he'd left the gas on back home.



Disbelief, not relief, was the prevailing emotion Iria felt. What had just

happened defied any process of logic. Zeiram never demonstrated mercy,

almost as though the very concept eluded it. Moreover, Iria had attacked it,

all but begging to be its next target. So why, when it have taken it the

same amount of effort to rip out her throat that most people had to chew a



	$Hmm, most people took to chew



candy bar, had it stopped, and walked away as though its work was already

done?



The high-pitched drone of engines filled the sky directly above Iria,

distracting her. Lacking the strength to do anything more than raise her

head, she gazed upward to see a boxy freighter swoop low and angle towards

an open area a hundred meters away from her, right in the path of the

oncoming Zeiram.



	$reccomend deleteing 'the oncoming'.



Was the pilot insane? Didn't he understand the danger he would be in if he

landed? She wanted to cry out and warn the foolish pilot away before he got

himself and anyone else on board killed, but then the memory of a

static-filled screen rose to the surface of her thoughts. Once remembered,

it was a simple matter to place where she had seen the fat ship before.



So Zeiram was still employing the same freighter that was on the space



	$Hmm, So, Zeiram



station as his means of getting around. Even if it felt that it had killed

everyone else on the planet, why leave her alive? And the way Zeiram had

just stopped and turned away, it made no sense!



The ship touched the ground and a ramp lowered from its midsection. Zeiram

maintained the same steady pace it had before the craft landed. Had it

called the freighter down, or was there some other factor involved?



	$More likely someone called it.



There

were too many questions that she had no answers to.



"Not... get away," Iria managed to get out under her breath. She watched

through a veil of pain as Zeiram approached the ramp. The bounty hunter knew

she could survive, would survive, to avenge Kei and Yuri, though it was Kei

she was really thinking of.



	$I'm sure Iria's on Yuri's christmas list, too.



 Zeiram had now taken everything from her except

her life, which it seemed to regard as not being worth snuffing out like it

had everyone else. It would pay for its mistake. Perhaps not now, but soon.

Very soon. She would not let herself die on this planet with the second

chance Zeiram had given her. However, she needed time to recover before she

could make good on her vow. If Zeiram flew off planet, he would escape

again. But there was a way to track him.



Pain massaged every part of her body, making her vision grow dark around the

edges. Hate fueled her awareness. Locked in a life and death struggle with

consciousness, she refused to black out until her mission was accomplished.

With her good arm, she brought out a pistol and pushed a selector switch.

Unable to feel the fingers on the wrist Zeiram had stepped on, she placed

the gun on the ground and went to her belt for the device. Her fingers

fumbled around through the pouches as she tried to locate it. She knew she

had a mobile transmitter head in her belt. She knew it! She just had to find

the right pouch it was in.



	$Heh, like me in front of a bartender.  I'm sure I've got my license around

here somewhere...



Zeiram was less than twenty meters from the ship, whose engines were still

running. She had to hurry, or else it would be too late. The monster was

only ten meters away when her fingers finally closed on the desired piece.

It was the only item with a smooth flat head.



	$As opposed to the several with smooth, round heads.



 She brought it out and

inserted the long prong at the end of it into the barrel of the sidearm

laying on the ground. It was difficult arming the weapon one-handed, but her

skills were up to the task as she managed with wavering fingers to jam it up

the barrel, hearing the reassuring 'click' that let her know it was primed

to be fired. Brushing a finger across the flat portion of the transmitter,

it responded by activating its adhesive head. Zeiram's skin was armor hard,

and hopefully just as sensitive, or else it was unlikely her impromptu plan

would work.



Picking up the gun, Iria saw she was out of time. Zeiram was about to walk

up the ramp. She moved quickly, her eyes tearing as the quick movement

caused a new wave of pain to shoot through her. She tried lining up the

sights, but the tears made her vision watery and her hand was wavering. She

would never make the difficult shot.



	$Shoot the ship, then.  It's a hell of a lot easier target.



And then, for one brief moment, the world came into perfect focus. She could

see it all so clearly. Everything ceased to exist between her and the

target. Taking one extra fraction of a second to hold her breath, she fired.



	$Supposed to release as you fire, not hold.



The large tiny projectile shot through the air in a straight line in the

direction of the ship, impacting into the hardened earth right under where

Zeiram's foot had been but a moment before.



	$That dirt won't get away from her!



The gun fell from unfeeling fingers and hit the ground with a dull thud. She

had jerked pulling the trigger! It was a beginner's mistake, one she hadn't

made since Gren was still alive. The mistake had cost her everything. If she

had even shot a split second before, it would have hit Zeiram's heel at

least. But she hadn't and it didn't.



As she watched in mute despair, unable to summon the energy to even rise to

her feet, the ramp folded up behind Zeiram, sealing the ship for space

travel. The instant the ramp was in place the freighter took off at top

speed, heading straight up through the atmosphere and beyond. It was little

more than another twinkling light in the sky in under fifteen seconds.



Iria's eyes remained focused on the light until it disappeared completely

from sight. It was over. There was no more strength left in her to fight any

longer. She had failed everyone, from herself to the people of Yanki's

Beautiful Haven, though it was Kei that was foremost on her mind. Kei that

meant the most of them all. The most by far.



	$Is sort of difficult to care about people you never met.



"I'm sorry." The apology barely escaped Iria's lips. Already her breath was

beginning to mist from the cold air, the planet unable to contain enough

heat necessary for survival now that atmospheric processor was destroyed.



	$That must have been a really little spot they had going.



And the air was getting harder to breathe. That was the thicker atmosphere

slowly leaking away, being replaced by the lighter one that originally

circled the planet, one filled with only trace amounts of oxygen. Darkness

beckoned while its brother, Pain, pushed her forward into its black embrace.

Lacking the strength, and more importantly, the heart to fight it, she

allowed herself to fall into a dreamless void.



	$No eyecatching hallucination sequence?



xxxxxxxxxxxx



It sensed the departure of its progenitor and could feel the air around it

become steadily colder. It felt neither angry nor frightened at being

abandoned. It did not care in the slightest; it was too simple for such

complex feelings. It was an elementary creature, an almost random mix of DNA

that was somehow able to function as a living being. It was slightly over

one and a half meters long, possessing a snake-like body with a huge head

full of dagger sharp teeth. Its flesh was jet black, the teeth and eyes pure



	$dagger-sharp



white standing in stark contrast to its shiny obsidian surface.



It was motivated by an uncomplicated drive that involved little more than

absolute obedience to its progenitor, and killing everything not like it and

its siblings.



	$Whaddaya know, it's a Nazi.



 There were no other siblings present any longer, nor could it

find things not like it to kill. They were all already dead and it had eaten

its fill to continue doing what it knew it must. But still, it would be

certain there was nothing else to kill by searching again.



The change in the elemental composition of the air mattered little to it. It

could breathe just about anything. It could even travel through deep space

if it had to, entering a state of semi-hibernation until arriving at

whatever destination it was called to. But it received no summons to follow

the progenitor, so instead it moved around and sought more things to kill.



	$Simple minds, simple pleasures.



It slithered through shattered buildings and long conduits of pipes until it

found another not like it thing. The other rested on the open ground, but it

could feel the thing that was not like it still radiating heat and

breathing. It would solve that problem quickly.



	$Methinks not.



It sped across the ground, mindful of the other possibly rising up and

trying to destroy it. Other things not like it had tried to do that, but

they had all failed and been killed. It could conceive of when things not

like it tried to prevent it from carrying out its tasks, and it would avoid

those attacks so it could kill the others instead. Being attacked didn't

make the creature angry; it wasn't able to care about that either.



	$Besides, they were dead.



It watched the thing not like it carefully as the creature slithered ever

closer. The creature paused a moment before the prey laying on the ground,

considering the best way to kill it since it was just lying there and

allowing the creature to figure out the way to carry out its genetic

imperatives with the least amount of effort. It was able to sense the armor

covering most of the body, as well as the throat that was not protected by

the armor. That would be the easiest vulnerable point. Course decided, it

drew back its head and prepared to rip out the throat and feast on the

other's flesh, unknowingly mirroring what its progenitor had done several

minutes before, though this time having no intention of stopping at the last

moment.



	$I'm sure Zeiram didn't either.



It coiled and lunged forward, but was intercepted halfway to its target by a

boot. It forced the creature down to the surface, pinning it on the ground

by the portion of its body located right beneath the head. Unable to move

from a force that was much stronger than it, it hissed in protest and

writhed around, trying to gain purchase and launch a counterattack.



It heard the words, "Bad Zeonoid! Now play dead!"



A white hot bolt of energy lanced through its head, disintegrating over half

of its brain in less then a micro-second. The last thing it heard was, "Good

boy."



And then there was nothing.



	$These things are too literal minded.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Sounds drifted in the white haze that she floated in. The white was nice,

but she felt naked and bare when it retreated and made her aware of

something other than the white.



	$It was a very sensual feeling.



There were only sounds at first, but eventually the sounds seemed to form

patterns. It took a while for her brain to establish that the patterns were

recognizable. Words. The sounds were words. Now all that remained was to

decipher them.



	$Reminds me a lot of waking up in the morning.



"-am telling you that I'm still cold. We would definitely have frozen to

death before suffocating."



"And I'm telling you that it was getting too hard to breathe quicker. We'd

have suffocated first."



	$Ah, arguing over the details of the mission report I see.  Otherwise I

doubt they'd care.



"All right, I'll grant you we'd have passed out before hypothermia set it,

but we would definitely have frozen to death before our bodies suffocated.

Remember, you don't need as much oxygen when you're asleep."



	$The funny thing is, they're both wrong.  The zeonoid would have ate them

long before they died of either.



"No, no, no. You're all wrong. I... oh, look. Iria's starting to move."



	$Well, if you'd quit poking her with that stick, she might go back to

sleep.  She's not dead, you know.



That name triggered the return of memory. She was Iria. She was a bounty

hunter. She needed to protect Kei and kill Zeiram. But Kei had died

alongside Yuri when the building collapsed upon them. Feeling her heart

break anew, Iria opened her eyes to see both members of the Lovely Angels

standing next to her. Yuri watched her intently while Kei all but hovered

directly above her fallen mentor.



"I'm dead too?" Iria's voice cracked with strain, as though she hadn't

spoken for a week.



	$No one noticed the faint lilt of hope when she said that.



Yuri folded her arms and snorted in disgust. "Excuse me, but I am offended

at the very idea that I would end up in the same place in the afterlife as

Kei."



The particular outburst-cum-insult caused Kei to scowl at her partner.

Giving Yuri a bland stare, the redhead said one word. "Clydesdales."



	$Apparently, Yuri was jealous of Kei's performance on Phallus Five, and

decided to do a little intensive training of her own.



For a moment, it looked to Iria as though Yuri would fall over dead, given

the ashen pallor her entire body took on in the span of a heartbeat. In

total shock, the raven-haired troubleshooter babbled out, "I thought your

memory of that whole day was erased!"



"Yuri, there are some things that are so disturbing they can never truly be

erased from anyone's mind." Kei seemed highly amused now.



	$Damn.  There goes my hope for future psychotherapy.  Apparently, I'm

screwed.



Falling to her knees, Yuri blurted out in a panicked stream, "I'll do

whatever you want whenever you want, just don't ever mention that word to me

again."



	$Tramatic experience, I see.



"What word?" Kei asked, now happy at having the upper hand.



	$Yuri: The one you just said, clydesdales.  Don't ever mention it again.

	Kei raises one eyebrow.



"Right," Yuri said, relaxing somewhat.



Iria found herself convinced that she must be alive, as it was categorically

impossible she would end up in the same place in the afterlife with either

of her current companions. "So what's going on? How did you two survive?"



	$Complicated story involving an ancient chinese amazon secret technique and

a pack of chewing gum.



With some semblance of order returned, the duo began relating events as to

exactly what had happened.



Kei starting things off, pointing to Yuri. "Actually, she's the one that

saved our butts."



A measure of pride returned to Yuri as she preened slightly. "Just as the

building was coming down on top of us, I noticed we were standing on the

section of floor right above the coolant tanks for the atmospheric

generator. So I emptied my gun into the floor, which gave way,



	$After the building hit them, unfortunately.  The concussion was mild,

though.



 and allowed

us to splash down into the twenty thousand gallon tanks they have down

there. Luckily, the rest of the flooring held and the building didn't come

crashing down on top of us, at least not most of it. After things settled,

it was only a matter of minutes for us to swim our way out, pick you up, and

get off planet."



"And the radioactive elements in the coolant were really low and it didn't

permanently affect us or anything," Kei added, happy that she wasn't glowing

in the dark.



	$But think about how much they would have saved on the light bill!  And if

they ever ran out of fuel, I could just see Yuri doing her damndest to cram

Kei into a reactor core, under the principle that Kei didn't know near

enough about nuclear physics to do it herself.



"I see," Iria said, relieved at Kei's continued health while angry at

herself for letting Zeiram get away. Again. She looked around trying to

figure out where she was. "Why are we on my ship?"



"We didn't want you getting any blood in our beds," Yuri said casually,

eliciting a quick elbow to the ribs from Kei.



	$Makes perfect sense to me.



 The raven-haired 3WA agent

shot her partner a nasty look. "Excuse me, but as I recall, the first words

out of your lips were, 'she's not bleeding on my sheets'."



	$Hmm, I'll pass on that one.



Giving a sad shake of her head, Iria tried to rise from the bed and into a

sitting position, but a wave of dizziness swept over her and she found

herself unable to get more than a handful of inches up before having to

settle back down again. "What's wrong with me?"



	$Yuri: You're loaded to the gills on morphine.  Enjoy it while you can,

we've got to arrest you for illegal drug possesion later.



Kei heard the edge in Iria's voice. Speaking quickly to calm her mentor, she

said, "Not much, really. Just a sprained wrist, two broken ribs, numerous

contusions, second degree burns along the back of your neck and scalp, and a

minor concussion. Sort of like what happens when you slip on a bar of soap

in the bathroom while carrying a grenade with the pin pulled out."



	$Speaking from experience I see.



"Why is it so hard to think?" Iria muttered through the haze of white that

was still affecting her.



"That would be from the triple dose of Effarx painkillers we loaded you up

with," Yuri explained.



Iria shook her head. "No. Painkillers will keep my head fuzzy and won't heal

me up fast enough. Get me some Acenon Bandages."



That made Kei recoil. "No way! Those things will screw you up." Everyone

knew that while the bandages did accelerate healing to incredible levels,

they also increased the level of pain due to the augmentation in healing.

Also, as time passed, it was proven that in some cases it would permanently

lower or even ruin altogether the ability to heal from injuries, even from

something as insignificant as a paper cut. Worse, it was completely random.

Someone could use the bandages several times with no ill effects, and then

suddenly end up dying from a minor gash. The number of people affected was a

low percentage, which was why Acenon was still manufactured and utilized,

but it did happen.



"I use them all the time," Iria slurred dismissively.



	$Un hunh, sure.



"You've used them five times in ten years, under heavy protest from me each

time," Bob's voice was identical to that of a mother reminding her child

that jumping into a raging blast furnace was probably a bad idea.



	$But then again, Bob used that tone all the time, firmly convinced as he

was that he was surrounded by idiots.



Kei placed a hand firmly on Iria's shoulders, making her lay back down.

"That settles it. You kick back and enjoy your drug induced dreams.



	$Say 'High' to Jerry Garcia for me, will ya?



 Let me

and Yuri take care of things for a while now. You've earned a break."



Kei felt Iria slump in defeat, the bounty hunter resting her head on her

pillow as her eyes became heavy lidded. "Okay, but wake me up if you find

Zeiram." Iria's voice drifted off, with the word "Zeiram" taking three times

longer to finish than it normally would.



	$Happens when you temporarily forget what you were doing.



Seeing Iria give up and drift off, a smile rose to Kei's lips as she

considered the remarkable turn of events that led her to be the one taking

care of the older woman for a change. The lack of an argument from the

bounty hunter was an obvious indication of just how badly she had been hurt.

Once satisfied Iria was going to sleep, Kei wordlessly left the bedside and

returned to the Lovely Angel with Yuri in tow.



They were gone for no more than a couple of minutes when Iria's eyes

fluttered open. Sensing the Lovely Angels would not be returning anytime

soon, the bounty hunter focused with every ounce of remaining concentration

she possessed. It seemed to take forever for her to summon enough strength

to roll out of bed and onto the floor, her fall only being interrupted by

the deck plates underneath.



	$Amazingly convenient things, floors.  And we never do really appreciate

them until they're not there.



 It took a few more seconds to regain enough

strength to start a slow, arduous crawl towards the back of the ship.



"I could call Kei and have her strap you to the bed," Bob offered.



	$And do all sorts of naughty things, he didn't quite add.  He'd been

surfing far too many porn sites of late.



He didn't

need his sensors to tell him that Iria was trying to get to the first aid

kit stored in a nearby locker where some Acenon Bandages were stored.

However, the glare Iria shot informed him that if such an event occurred, he

would be reduced to running the waste management programs for the rest of

his electronic existence. The loud sigh he gave to Iria announced he was

washing his hands clean of the matter. Putting his free time to good use, he

returned to processing the most recent information he had gleaned from

Yanki's Beautiful Haven. There was something there, some important detail

that could be added to the rest of the information he had uncovered and

produce a clearer picture. Bob was sure he could figure out if he had just a

little more time.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



It was time.



After leaving the Creeper V, Kei announced she needed to grab some food from

the mess and asked Yuri if she wanted some. Declining, the raven-haired

troubleshooter gave some vague answer about finishing some work she had

started and headed directly to the bridge.



There was a little twinge from Yuri's conscience, just a tiny thing that

protested what she was considering, but realistically there was no question

that it had to be done. They had failed to bring in Zeiram again, had nearly

died in the attempt, which meant it was time to call in reinforcements.



	$It's not often she does it, even in that kind of situation.



Bob would probably be okay with her decision, he seemed to be the reasonable

sort, but Iria and Kei would raise hell about it. It wasn't Iria's reaction

Yuri was so much concerned about, but rather Kei's. They were partners after

all, and she loved Kei like a sister.



	$But not like a redneck sister, unfortunately.  Otherwise this would have a

'lemon' tag.



 The redhead's feelings nearly always

meant something to Yuri, but with this mission, Kei had gone too far. She

had allowed her own personal feelings to get in the way of professionalism

and they were suffering for it. Oh sure, Kei and others had made that

accusation about Yuri in the past, but they were full of crap. Just because

a few planets had blown up on missions she'd been assigned to was no

indication of allowing her performance level to curve down due to personal

problems; she was a professional to the bone.



Course at last finalized, Yuri went to the communications console and

punched up the data on the memory banks. Not finding her report in the

primary memory, she checked the backup in case that had somehow been set up

as the default program for storing the message. Again, there was nothing,

not even the automatic backup that should have been generated when she

initially saved the report.



Yuri was still trying to figure out what had happened when Kei entered the

bridge with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Continuing to scowl at the

console, the raven-haired woman spoke without looking at her partner. "Did

you fool around with the computer systems at all?"



"Nah. I didn't mess up anything." Kei took a sip of the coffee. "I

deliberately erased your report. You can't really call that 'fooling

around', now can you?"



	$Depends on your definition.  If you deliberately sleep with someone other

than your girlfriend, is that still considered fooling around?



Head jerking at the casual way Kei had delivered the statement, Yuri spun on

her with a mix of anger at what her partner had done and surprise at her

secretive actions being mentioned in such an offhand manner. "You had no

business doing that!"



Kei met the accusation with a scowl of her own. "I told you, this is our

case. We can handle it without any outside interference."



"The hell we can!" Yuri slammed her hand down on the console. It was the

wiser course of action, preferable to going with her initial urge and

hitting Kei, but it felt nowhere near as satisfying.



	$Give into the urge.



"People are dying left

and right, and we haven't come close to stopping any of it. We've been lucky

to have survived ourselves. We need to call headquarters and get somebody

else on this case."



Kei snarled back in anger, "This is bigger than just Zeiram, and you know

it! Did you forget what happened on Delabar? We go public with this and the

bad guys are either going to go into hiding or really unload on everything

around."



"Bullshit!" Yuri's own anger increased in direct proportion to Kei's. How

dare she get angry when it was Yuri that had been so terribly wronged. "We

don't know anything of the kind. You've completely lost any objectivity.

This is personal for you and Iria, Kei. It's been that way from the

beginning. You two just have to settle this personal vendetta and screw

everyone else who might get hurt in the process, just so long as its you two

who take out Zeiram in the end!"



	$She acts like there's something wrong with that.



"We're the best suited for the job!"



"But you're not the only ones suited for it," Yuri said with iron in her

voice.



	$A five iron, to be precise.





	<snip>



The punch was so fast Yuri didn't realize she was falling until her head

struck the corner of the console hard. Her body continued onward, crashing

'pleasantly' to the metal of the floor, bouncing only once before settling

down on the cool surface.



	$Final proof that Kei has the better rack.  She would have bounced twice.



"Don't call Iria that!



	$That's not exactly a bad name.



 Don't you dare call her anything like that ever

again, Yuri!" Kei shouted through her tears.



	$Bubbles flew everywhere.



 The redhead could feel her

heart breaking, torn in two directions because of Yuri. Why couldn't she

just back off and see reason? Why did she have to choose now to be

intractable and insulting? And she had no business calling Iria names.



	$Again, that's hardly a name.



 Not

Yuri. Not her own partner. Of all the people in Kei's life, Yuri should have

been the last one in the entire universe to insult someone so important to

her. It was almost as though her partner was trying to force Kei to choose

between her and Iria. There was no choice to be made, and even if there was,

it was impossible to choose between the two. No one could ever make such a

choice.



Kei watched Yuri try to get up, then fall onto her back, eyes almost rolling

into the back of her head. Her anger became mixed with concern. No matter

how pig-headed and offensive Yuri was behaving, they were still partners,

and it did look like she had hit her head hard against the console.



	$The large dent sort of made it obvious.



Add to

that Kei's own tremendous strength and it was lucky Yuri's jaw was still

attached at all.



Kei kneeled down on the floor and bent over the prone woman. "Hey, Yuri. I

didn't hit you too hard, did I? You are okay, right?"



"Better than you are," Yuri managed to get out.



A rabbit punch connected with Kei's solar plexus, the unexpected blow

knocking the wind clean out of her. Kei fell onto her back, sounding like a

set of bellows as she tried to recover her breath. "Going... to... get...

you... for... that," she got out between gasps.



"No way, blubberguts." Yuri tried picking herself up using the chair for

support, only to seemingly have the chair move itself from out of her grasp

and cause her collapse to the floor again.



	$Sneaky little bastards, always darting just out of reach.



 "Computer, make the room stop

spinning," she ordered.



	$Heh.



"We don't have an... audio response system... chunky." Kei managed to get to

her feet first, looking for something to hit Yuri with. Fists were nice, but

there was something infinitely more satisfying about pummeling someone with

a large metal object.



	$Been watching wrestling lately, eh?



Yuri at last regained her own footing, somewhat shakily, and confronted Kei

once again. The two squared off more cautiously than before.



Kei moved first, lunging at Yuri and determined to use her slight strength

advantage to overpower her in a clench. Yuri countered by twisting in the

direction she had already been swooning towards, so that it was Kei that met

the floor hard instead.



	$How did Kei fall?  I think you're a little vague there.



 Although at the last second Kei had lashed out with

her hand and caught Yuri by the top of her outfit, dragging the dark-haired

woman down to the floor as well and slowing her fall with Yuri's resistance.



	$Damn, they really need a pit filled with either mud or jello.



Kei released her hold on the top and tried grappling her opponent, while

Yuri tried to do the same. The duo rolled around on the deck, each trying to

gain an advantage over the other.



Yuri had a death grip on Kei's hair, while Kei had one of Yuri's arms bent

behind her back,



	$Personally, I'd want the arm.  You can fight perfectly well without hair.



 when a male voice, smooth as ice, purred "Oh yeah. Keep at

it, girls! I'm getting all of this on video. We're going to make millions

with this hot catfight."



Both opponents froze, only their heads turning in the direction from where

the voice had come from, their console.



Kei managed to speak first, "Bob, what the hell are you talking about?"



Bob continued using the Lovely Angel's bridge console to talk smoothly to

them. "I think we'll dub it, 'The Dirty Pair Get Down and Nasty'. Send a

little preview through the galactic net, and I see preorders stretching into

the billions."



	$That's 'Lovely Angels!'



The pair, suddenly realizing the position they were in, shot to their feet

and stood a full meter away from one another. Embarrassment at what they had

done, or more importantly, what they had been caught doing, temporarily

eradicating their anger.



"Yuri, breasts," Kei hissed.



Yuri looked down at her top, seeing that one of her breasts had popped free

when Kei had grabbed her by it. She gave a yelp and promptly covered it up

once again.



	$If she could have she'd have kicked Bob in his electric nuts.



"So much for the free show," Bob sighed.



"Look you," Yuri warned,



	$Bob: Oh, I assure you, I was.



 her anger at Kei gone in light of the potential

embarrassment from Bob's threat. And it was only a threat. She would make

damn sure of that. "What are you doing in our ship anyway?"



"I needed to get some information and your transmitter was more powerful.

Since I was here, I decided to let you know what I discovered." Not that he

was pleased at the duo duking it out for some reason. His time dealing with

women, Iria in particular, made him realize that embarrassing them was a far

more effective way of breaking up the fight instead of demanding they stop.

Women never reacted well to being ordered around. Being subtle always gained

far better results, even when one was composed of data and electricity

instead of flesh.



"What information was that?" Yuri asked, relaxing somewhat from the

distraction and mystery.



	$Kei promptly cold-cocked her.



"Several things, mostly ownership records. I think I've found a pattern in

Zeiram's targets. One that might enable us to head him off for a change."



"That's great!" Kei said, also putting what had just happened in the back of

her mind as she found another target for her aggression. "Where?"



"Let's get back together with Iria first. I don't want to have to explain

things twice."



	$Why?  He could just record it and set it for repeat while he went and

looked up porn.  Heh, he probably does that anyway.



 And maybe Kei could persuade her to not use the Acenon

Bandages, though he held no real hopes for that. Even Kei had only so much

pull with Iria, and two voices of reason were as likely to be ignored as one

in this case.



The duo shot uncertain glances at one another, then seemed to come to an

unspoken truce. Getting Zeiram would take precedence over their 'discussion'

but they would return to it when time allowed. There were way too many

issues to be settled, and not all of them were related to sending word to

headquarters. However, there was one other small detail to take care of

before anything else. Even more important that hunting down Zeiram.



"Ah, Bob, you didn't videotape that, did you?" Kei asked hesitantly.



"Now Kei, would I do something like that?"



	$I'll take that as a yes.



"You're avoiding answering the question," Yuri informed him.



"I would never sell a videotape of you two in a compromising position."



	$Woohoo!  It's free!



"Well, that's better-" Kei began.



 "At least not without digitally fogging your faces first."



	$No one would buy it, then.



"BOB!" The two yelled in one voice.



"No, I didn't. Give me some credit," Bob said in genuine irritation. Even if

taping it and keeping a private copy would have been sort of neat. He had

become something of a voyeur over the years, though being reduced to his

current state had a lot to do with that.



After several more inquiries, and being satisfied that Bob had definitely

not taped them, the duo headed off the bridge. The fight itself was left

behind, but some tension still existed between them.



Despite the barrier, or perhaps because of it, Yuri remarked teasingly to

her partner, "Going for my breasts, Kei? I always thought you looked at me a

bit funny. I hate to break it to you, but I don't go that way."



"I am not that way!" Kei shot back.



"What about Senchiro Sykes?"



"For your information, he was a hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodites don't count.

And it wasn't like I knew he was one until we..."



Bob tuned everything out after that. There were some things no man, even one

reduced to being a computer intelligence, wanted to know.



	$I'll second that.



xxxxxxxxxxxx



"You're a complete idiot!"



"A complete idiot? Good. I hate doing things halfway."



	$That's the spirit.



"Tell her she's bring a complete idiot, Bob!"



"I can't. She'll cut me off from cyber-porn sites, and then I really will go

insane."



	$Yeah, but it'd be so much cheaper.



"You tell her, Yuri."



"What Kei said." Yuri stood resting her back against the bulkhead of the

Creeper V, well away from the other two. Actually Kei probably was correct,

since Iria was sitting up in her bed, doing a damn poor job of hiding just

how much suffering she was in. The pain was coming from the Acenon Bandages

she had wrapped around her torso and neck. Painkillers wouldn't work any

more once the bandages were in place. Something about the Acenon negating

the effect of any drug. It was the price one paid for ultra-quick healing.



	$That and 305.95 per box.



Still, even Yuri could tell the red marks from the burns were already fading

and that the ribs would most likely heal within the next seven hours, a

testament to just how effective the augmenting property of the bandages was.



Upon their return to the ship, and seeing the state Iria was in, Kei nearly

shot across the chamber and ripped the bandages off herself. Only the

knowledge that any potential damage would already have occurred staved off

that action, though not by much. Instead, Kei had gone into a tongue-lashing

that even Iria would have winced at, had she not been already wincing from

her wounds and bandages. "Complete idiot" was probably the most pleasant

appellation Kei had made so far.



	$The one about the goat cheese and Iria's probable lineage had been the

most interesting, however.



 There had been plenty of others that would

have made a Progtalian smuggler blush. As far as Yuri was concerned, she

agreed with Kei, but figured it wasn't her place to take a side. It was

Iria's life, and she had the right to take it into her own hands. And that

wasn't considering the bounty hunter was not exactly Yuri's favorite person

in the galaxy at the moment.



	$Quick, get the gun!  There's a green eyed monster on board!



"Can we get on with this?" Iria finally said through deeply red bloodshot

eyes, another side effect of Acenon.



	$Not sure, but deeply bloodshot may be better.



Kei continued sitting next to Iria, going between fussing and cursing at

least twice in each sentence. Sensing Kei had no intention of stopping

anytime this week, Yuri added, "I want to know what you've uncovered too,

Bob."



With the vote three to one, Bob began his explanation. "I've been running

over every fact we've come across since encountering Zeiram at the space

station, trying to make some sort of sense out of all of this mess. Up until

now, I simply didn't have enough to make even a half-decent guess about

anything. But with this latest attack, I think I've finally figured out the

common denominator with nearly all of the targets he's hit thus far: they

all belong to Yurenex-Solvar Corporation."



That perked all three women up, even the pain-shrouded Iria.



"All of them?" Kei asked.



	$Well, no, only one, but it still applies.



There was hesitation in Bob's voice. "Well, all but the mining operation.

That was owned by Sarvgon, a small geology corporation that operates in this

arm of the galaxy. But all of the others were owned by YSC. And there's

something else. Once I made the YCS connection, I did some additional

digging, that's why I needed borrowed your pass codes to get the information



	$Make up your mind.  Either needed or borrowed.



from the 3WA Information net."



"And?" Yuri asked.



"Well, this is a bit of a jump in logic, but when Tedan-Tippendai went belly

up after the Zeiram fiasco, they were bought out by a company called the

Tormend Confederation."



	$That name sounds familiar.



That made Iria react. "TC is competing fiercely with Yurenex-Solvar in

several areas, including trying to muscle in on YSC's near deathlock on the

space station industry."



"And all of the targets hit, except for the mining colony, were the closest

Yurenex-Solvar owned businesses in this sector of space." Bob said,



	$space," Bob



satisfied that the others understood the full importance of the knowledge he

had uncovered.



"Where's the next closest YSC owned operation?" Iria asked, her pain pushed

to the background for the time being as the scent of the hunt filled her

senses once again.



	$That or she just needs a shower.



"Now there we have something of a problem," Bob admitted. "According to my

database, there are two YSC business almost equal distance from here. One is

located in the Baltron system, the other in Omicron 4. Baltron is closer,

but smaller, a series of banks on the one populated planet in the system.

However, the one on Omicron 4 is a biggie. Management center for this part

of the sector. If Zeiram is trying to hurt these guys, that would almost

definitely be his target."



The others processed all of the surprising information. At last some pieces

were falling into place, although there were still some important ones

missing.



Kei mentioned that first. "Going after specific targets, like businesses

owned by a corporation, is definitely not the method of operation Zeiram

used last time. He definitely went with something more along the lines of a

'see it, kill it,' philosophy."



	$That and 'Bring friends.'



"Maybe he's got a grudge against Yurenex-Solvar?" Yuri offered.



"He's not the kind of guy to carry those sorts of grudges," Kei assured her.



"There's another possibility," Iria said, continuing to ignore the pain that

was wracking her body. "Zeiram didn't kill me, despite having the

opportunity to finish me off with just the clamping of his jaws. Just when

it looked like he was about to, he stopped and walked away. A moment later

that freighter he used on the space station landed and gave him a ride off

planet. I wasn't in any shape to consider what had happened up until now,

but the more I think about it, the more I believe that he didn't summon that

ship anymore than he flew it off the space station like we first assumed. I

think someone else landed it and picked him up. I think Zeiram has himself a

partner."



	$Or a master.



"A zeonoid?" Yuri asked.



Kei shook her head. "None of them are anywhere near bright enough to pilot a

spaceship of any kind."



"And that still doesn't explain why he didn't kill me when he had the

chance," Iria pointed out. Talking was becoming easier as the pain seemed to

subside somewhat.



"Gren?" Kei asked hesitantly.



Iria grimaced, though no one could tell if it was from a sudden shard of

pain, or from the memory, not even Iria herself. "No. Even when he was in



	$Maybe, no one, not even Iria herself, could tell if...



Zeiram, and I don't think he is any longer, the best he could do was make

Zeiram vulnerable for only a handful of seconds. Whatever it was that made

tall dark and ugly leave, it wasn't Gren."



No one was foolish enough to imply Zeiram's reaction came from a sudden

conversion to pacifism. That seemed to leave only one reasonable option.

Yuri was the one to give voice to it. "Someone's controlling Zeiram?"



	$Give the girl a donut.



None of the others were able to discount that one, no matter how much they

wanted to, not with what it implied. Zeiram was bad enough with the regular

'hunt-kill' intelligence it had possessed before. It was smart, but fell

into certain predictable patterns. But if it was being controlled by an

outside force, things would become significantly more difficult. But that

new fact would do nothing to dissuade the women. If anything, it simply

served to prove the necessity of stopping Zeiram quickly.



The sentiment was clearly stated when Iria announced, "Then it's off to

Omicron 4 we go."



Kei was all for it, which was exactly what Yuri had mentally predicted was

going to happen when she saw the direction the conversation was taking.

Naturally with their obsessions they would overlook a significant detail. It

was up to Yuri to force the issue by making them confront the potential

problem, even if the other two did not want to hear it.



	$At least, thats what she told herself.  She really just wanted to feel

superior by pointing it out.



"What if we're wrong and he hits Baltron?" Yuri asked Iria, but shot a glare

to Kei. It was returned just as fiercely by the redhead.



Despite the pain, Iria was mentally clear enough to consider those words of

caution. Splitting up was out of the question, it was going to take all

three of them to get the mission accomplished. But if Zeiram did indeed hit

Baltron while they were searching Omicron 4, any ensuing deaths that

resulted from the planet not being warned would be their responsibility.

Still, to warn them would mean letting information about Zeiram out and

possibly having him and his associates go into hiding, if their guesses were

right. If they were and that happened, Zeiram might not surface again for

years, if ever.



	$Well, good.



"We'll send a warning about the freighter. Say there's a Class-1 Biological

Hazard on board and that the ship is not to land under any circumstances,

even if it means shooting it down. That should do it." Iria didn't like

tipping their hand about suspecting where Zeiram would strike, but since

they had to admit there was a realistic possibility he would attack there,

they had to do something to protect the people.



	$Who are probably already screwed.



Kei looked at Yuri, who seemed to accept the decision reluctantly.

Technically Zeiram could be rated as a Class-1 Biological Hazard.



	$So could that 'meal' Kei made, but you don't hear them complaining about

it.



And it

would serve to put the planet on alert for him. That concession made it a

victory of sorts for Yuri, though a small one. Still, it seemed the first

she had since running into Iria and Zeiram. Since it was her idea, Yuri

headed off to make the warning.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



The communications relay satellite Optima 4 hung in planetary orbit above



	$Suggest changing the name of the satellite, I thought it was the same as

that other planet.



Baltron. It was the planet's primary means of receiving deep space

communications, a new device put up just three years before and proving

itself more than capable of handling the entire information load that had

been distributed among the aging, expensive to maintain, and far less

effective series of Kintups 5 satellites that had previously handled all

deep space communications. Once the planetary government was certain the new

device was capable of doing all of the services it was supposed to, all but

one of the Kintups were abandoned and left to break down or burn up on

reentry to the atmosphere. The remaining Kintups served as a backup in case

something did happen to Optima 4, allowing it to be pressed into service

once again until another of the Optima series could be put up to replace the

old one. But since nothing ever happened to the state of the art relay

system, no one ever bothered to man the communications console for the old

Kintups, allowing the satellite to log all of the messages it received on

automatic.



	$Sorta like my mail filter.



Had anyone bothered to examine the logs on the remaining Kintups, they would

have discovered an anomaly; a warning about a freighter with a Class 1

Biological Hazard that had not been relayed by Optima 4 to planetary

control. However no one ever did examine it, so no one ever discovered the

omission.



	$Sorta like my 'To do' file.



But Optima 4 had indeed received the transmission. It failed to transmit the

message to planetary control due to a number of hidden backdoors programmed

into it,



	$Sorta like anything made by microsoft.



 and that someone had recently given it a set of orders that

superseded the commands that had been inserted by the Baltron Planetary

Government. Instead, the message was relayed somewhere else, a place where

others had been keeping their 'ears' open for such bits of information. A

place where decisions were made.



"Transmit orders to Group Beta. They'll know what to do."



	$Mill around and act confused?



And so it was done.



xxxxxxxxxxxxx



"Surprisingly easy and simple, isn't it?"



"Yes, very," Iria agreed. Her ribs didn't hurt anymore, at least not as much

as when they had been broken. All that was left was a lingering throbbing

sensation from the center of her chest. Everything else was perfect. A seven

hour spaceflight was more than enough time for the Acenon to work its

miraculous magic.



However, the condition of her mentor's health was not what Kei was

commenting on, but rather the ease with which they had seemed to locate

Zeiram. Upon arriving in Omicron 4's atmosphere, they picked up current

broadcasts that told them Yurenex-Solvar's headquarters' was under attack by

some unknown force. Law enforcement units were reportedly already at the

scene and controlling the situation. Using their authority as 3WA

troubleshooters, the Dirty Pair were given preferential treatment and

escorted immediately to the site, bringing Iria along under the auspices of

an 'observer.' Upon arriving at the scene, the trio acknowledged that

'controlling the situation' might have been a bit of an exaggeration. It was

more along the lines of, 'we're getting out asses kicked all over the place

like a giant soccer ball.'



The police's position nearly three-quarters of a kilometer away from the

headquarters allowed the trio to view the almost total carnage before them.

YSC had purchased the land all around their main building, making it a

variety of parking lots and areas of green lawn that would have been very

pleasing to the eye had it not been for the over half dozen smoking vehicles

that were lying in complete ruin around the site.



	$Depends on one's sense of taste.  Personally, I like smoking wreckage.



 Well over twenty bodies

could be seen sprawled out over the grounds, none of them even close to the

structure (which could only be dubbed 'surrounded' using the loosest form of

the term) by the remaining members of the local authorities, who were

cowering behind their vehicles well beyond the nearest flaming ruin. No one

seemed the least bit eager to approach the headquarters again.



	$Ah, Darwinism in action.



The trio asked around, trying to locate the commander of the forces there.

As they went from person to person, Iria noticed that Kei and Yuri no longer

walked as near to one another as before, each seeming intent on putting Iria

between them. Now that she was out of the haze of pain, the bounty hunter

observed that there was a noticeable tension between them. Hopefully, it

wouldn't affect the mission. She would grill Kei about what had happened

later, after they had taken care of Zeiram for the final time.



	$In another chapter or two, although methinks there'll be resolution before

then.



Once informed of who the commander was, they located him in short order. He

was the a rotund man squatting behind a police hover vehicle, surrounded by

a small pile of used cigarettes at his feet and holding a sidearm in one

hand and a radio in the other. He was yelling at the radio through another

dangling cigarette in his mouth.



	$Them things'll kill you, you know.



"-get me some goddamn support, you military screwjobs! No, I don't care if

you don't have jurisdiction and it'll cause an incident! No, I don't care if

your coming here does trigger a civil war with the city authorities, we've

already got a war right here, you blue-coated weaselshafts! WHAT?! You'll

send in observer to determine if the situation requires your assistance?!

Observe this, you warmongering whore!" The man brought his gun up and shot

the transmitter, nearly taking his hand off in the process.



	$Heh.  I like him.



"You sure showed him," Yuri commented dryly as they drew near enough to the

commander to be heard over the din of panicked confusion his men were in,

noting that the name tag on his badge said, 'Renaldo Simms.'



	$Is this some character from the game?



 All the rest of

his men had succeeded in doing so far was keeping the civilian population

back and away from the site, although maybe it was the people's survival

instincts that accomplished that feat.



	$Sure, sure, dis the man even more.



Simms took in the trio before him. He didn't seem to know what to make of

Iria, but upon looking Kei and Yuri over, he said. "I've got no time for

hookers, girls. See me after this shit's all over, though knowing my luck,

I'll get tagged in the balls and have to get one of those X-L J. Holmes

prosthetics."



	$Holmes lives!



"We're 3WA troubleshooters, you asshole!" Kei snapped with a vicious glint

in her eye. Yuri appeared just as eager to draw her gun and correct the

officer the hard way, namely by pistol whipping him.



	$Shoot him.  He'll have something sarcastic to say about the pistol

whipping.



Simms scrutinized them a second time. "Don't you think you guys are a bit

old to be going around in two piece outfits like that. You aren't doing

anyone any favors by showing the effect gravity has on a body, you know."



	$And yet I still be he comes through largely unscathed.  Assholes always

seem to.



Iria was barely able to restrain the two from making the man as dead as

Zeiram would have. Deciding she had the most level head of the people

present, she took charge of the situation, allowing the man to assume she

was a troubleshooter as well. "If I were you, I'd watch my mouth. It seems

to me you don't have all that many options, since it's obvious no one is

coming to help bail your ass out. And you've been doing so well on your own,

too." Iria pointed at the wasteland of law enforcement debris before her.



The commander considered that and nodded in apology. "Sorry. Your sag is

barely noticeable."



	$I still like him.



Iria had the Dirty Pair calmed down enough to start talking coherently in

under five minutes.



Once peace was achieved, Simms began explaining the situation. "We received

a silent alarm from YSC's headquarters here at 13:40 local time. Two units

were sent out to investigate. When they didn't report in, and we received a

call saying there was an explosion around here, we came out in full force.

That was a mistake. It turned out to be an ambush."



"Let me guess. It was a huge nine foot tall monster that looks like a giant

mushroom on steroids and is able to use any kind of firearm like a highly

trained mercenary," Kei said smugly.



"Wow! That's amazing," the officer said in awe.



Kei smirked. "Thanks. I know I-"



"That anyone could be so far off on the description of a perp," the officer

finished.



	$He's been on the force, what, thirty, forty years?



Kei's eyebrow twitched. "What?"



Iria was just as concerned. "Do you mean to tell me that isn't what attacked

you? Are you sure?"



Simms placed his hand to his chin in thought. "Well, now that you mention

it, I suppose I could have mistaken several guys wearing black special

forces type jumpsuits and carrying sophisticated state-of-the-art armament

while moving with a military precision that managed to blow up half of the

police force in the city in just over a minute as not being a giant walking

mushroom.



	$Didn't you know?  Giant walking mushrooms on steroids that weild

sophisticated weaponry with ease can look _just like_ a spec-ops team moving

with military precision and destroying police forces.  It's that swamp gas

reflecting off neptune, it clouds perceptions.  And huge weather balloons

can look just like spaceships when crashing in Roswell, ect, ect...



Sorry about that. I guess it was your perp"



	$perp."



Kei looked the commander's forces over. "We could have done it in under a

minute."



That raised Simms' ire.



	$What, there's more than one?  My god!  Simms's



 He stood up, bowing and gesturing to the YSC

building. "By all means, help yourselves.



	$Kei and Yuri promply start blazing away at the remaining police.



	Well, he did say help themselves.



 Hope you don't choke on a missile

barrage."



	$It'd take something a lot bigger than a missile to make either one of

_those two_ choke...



For the first time since leaving the ship, Kei and Yuri smiled at one

another. "Sounds like he's giving us jurisdiction, wouldn't you say?" Yuri

asked.



"Sounded like it to me," Kei agreed.



"That is not what I meant," Simms started to argue, but it was far, far too

late.



Yuri smiled, all the while knowing his protests would do him no good. "But

that's what you said, and unlike most people, our word alone is admissible

in intergalactic court and not treated as hearsay. So you're going to yield

control of the situation to us and render what assistance you can."



Simms blustered in anger at being tricked into the helping them. "In case

you didn't notice, there isn't a whole lot of help I can give you. We're

completely wasted."



	$A waste of flesh and police uniforms, maybe.



"Oh relax," Yuri said soothingly, which only served to make Simms more

nervous. "We'll take care of things ourselves. None of your men will be

placed at additional risk. Not intentionally, anyway."



Simms blood pressure nearly doubled. "I don't see what you can do. That

whole place is a kill zone. It's all open area and those guys have an

unrestricted view of everything and the firepower to bring down an armored

spaceship. You try getting to that building, and you'll just get yourselves

wasted."



"We've cracked tougher nuts than this," Kei bragged.



	$Coming from Kei...



It was at that point

Simms gave up. The only consolation he had was that since there were three

of them, they weren't the Dirty Pair. If they had been, he'd have probably

jumped off planet in a heartbeat, wife and family be damned.



	$They'd only slow him up anyway.



Satisfied they now had the situation under control, the three women formed a

huddle and began a quiet discussion so that the commander couldn't hear

them.



Iria spoke first. "As incompetent as this guy is, I think he's right. This

doesn't sound like Zeiram."



	$What was your first clue?  The spec-ops uniforms?



"But from the description the foul-mouthed jerk gave, I'd say the attackers

do bear a strong resemblance to that guy that tried to kill us in the

library," Yuri mentioned.



Kei nodded in agreement. "And they're hitting a YCS operation. Sounds like a

probable connection to me. And it's our duty to help out the people of this

planet out, as well as saving anyone left alive inside."



"You're just looking for an excuse to shoot something," Iria smirked while

ruffling Kei's hair.



	$She has been a bit moody lately...



"Cut it out, you're embarrassing me," Kei protested.



Yuri gave a loud "Ahem!" to catch their attention. Really, did they have to

act so unprofessional? "Let's figure out how we can get in there."



The three discussed the plan for all of thirty seconds before coming to an

agreement. Yuri acted as spokesperson for the trio. She went up to the

commander and began listing her demands. "We aren't going to need much to

get into that place. Just one of your larger vehicles, three full body

reinforced firefighting outfits, as big a smokescreen as you can manage, a

hundred, twenty gallon drums of paint thinner and kerosene, a powerful laser



	$hundred and twenty, but why do they have to all be one gallon drums?

Better check back over the wording of that and make sure its what you want

to say.



cutting torch, and last but not least, a cinderblock."



	$A brick will do.



All Simms could manage was a twitch of the jaw.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Rene Foulcard looked out from his position on the third story of the north

side of Yurenex-Solvar's Regional Third Branch Headquarters. There were only

twenty-four members in his unit, but a few people in key positions, armed

appropriately, could hold off a force ten times its size from the building's

location. Setting up the defense had been easy for him. He was a master of

strategy. Chess was his favorite game and he was almost a rated grandmaster

at it. And like all of his strategies, this one had turned out perfectly.



According to the other members of the unit, their tasks were nearly

completed and they could depart through the upper atmosphere once the signal

for their escort cover was sent. The job had been a messy business, but that

was what Rene was paid to do. What he had been trained to do. What he lived

for.



	$Well, that and chess.



One of the members of his unit drew close. "Captain."



"No ranks!" Rene hissed. Ranks denoted training and were a clue others might

be able to follow up on should a person overhear, not that there was anyone

left alive in the facility outside of his own people. Still, only the

careless took chances, and the careless always died in the end. Always. Out

in the field they were numbers, not names. Number 8, Kira Ohara, knew better

than that. He would discipline her once they were back at the nearest

safehouse they were delivered to. And it wasn't the sort of discipline Ohara

would like, even with her unusual tastes.



	$He'd stick with plain old torture, rather than the near non-stop barney

marathons she usually watched.



'Number 8' took the admonishment in stride, appearing truly repentant. He

rather liked that part of the training they had been forced to endure,

reinforcing submissiveness to higher ranked personnel. Ranks were sometimes

all that reminded the men of who their masters truly were.



	$Well, that and the signature on the paycheck.



"Number 22!" Ohara said urgently.



Rene had thought it particularly brilliant designating himself as Number 22.



	$Of course, he was also an idiot and prone to thinking his ideas were

brilliant.



It made him sound less important to those outside the unit that were

ignorant of the truth. Likewise, it made him a less valuable target for

snipers, that would no doubt make whoever Number 1 was the primary target,

believing him to be the commander. This mission it had been Stroski, who had

managed to get on Rene's bad side a few weeks back by picking up a woman in

a bar that Rene had wanted to get to know better. Maybe it would be Stroski

next mission too. The woman had been painfully attractive, after all.



	$And Rene liked pain.



Good looking women were hard to come by for Rene. He would be the first to

admit he was not particularly handsome, balding so much that by the age of

twenty-five he shaved off all of his hair considering it a lost cause



	$hair, considering



anyway.



	$Good call.



 He was slender and possessed a wiry strength, and though not

unattractive, neither was he remarkable in any way save the eyes. Most

people that dared voice their opinion about them claimed they were slightly

crazed. Rene knew the truth though, they were just jealous of his

superiority.



	$He was also a 6089th generation direct descendant of Napoleon.



 And besides, everyone knew the eyes were the mirror to the

soul, and his soul was remarkable. His eyes were just a reflection of that.



The thought ran through Rene's mind in an instant as he understood that

Ohara was pointing over his shoulder. He looked out the window, and saw a

canister hit the ground and begin emitting some kind of gas. It was the

fifth so far, and more could be seen on the way through the rapidly

thickening cloud of gray.



"Morons," Rene cursed. This was insulting. As though they could be gassed

out. Over his communicator, he ordered. "All personnel, gas attack." Rene

fit his own mask over his face, the transparent plastic not restricting his

view in the slightest as it affixed to the hood of his suit and formed an

air tight seal. It was so clear it was as though it wasn't there, and it



	$airtight



would keep out every kind of gas there was. It was a top of the line

innovation that every military organization in the world would want, if his

employers ever saw fit to release it on the open market.



"Motor running," Number 8 noted.



Rene had to admit, the woman's hearing was even more acute than his own.

Perhaps her punishment would not be so severe after all. Rene had certainly

done his share of bloodletting today, and his more savage, baser instincts

were satisfied, at least for a while.



	$He could put off his seal clubbing appointment until next week.



Switching the mask over to heat detection, he could easily make out the

truck that was barreling toward the building, hidden from normal sight by

the huge gas cloud. "They are even bigger fools than I first believed. They

deserve to die." He picked up the portable missile launcher that sat next to

his post at the window and lined the laser tracking computer on the target.

He waited until the manual sight he had attached to the weapon was lined up

with the approaching vehicle.



	$Might want to combine those two sentances.



 He never liked relying too much on technology.

It had a bad tendency to give out on you when you could least afford to lose

it. Personal prowess could always be counted on, even when things turned to

shit.



"So long." Rene triggered the weapon and felt the kick from the launcher as

the missile shot out towards the target. His heat imaging easily allowed him

to track the missile's flight until it impacted with the oncoming vehicle a

moment later.



A titanic fireball blossomed from the truck, the force of the explosion

shattering even the durable windows at a distance of a hundred meters. The

sudden flash of heat blinded both Rene and Ohara, and caused them to cry in

pain and shut their eyes.



	$Even through the goggles?  That's unlikely.



Once the initial surprised passed, Number 8 said, "Holy shit, Number 22.

What sort of explosive did you use? Nalpa? I didn't think even that could

make a fireball that big."



"That's because it can't, you worthless twit!" Rene snarled as his vision

slowly started to return. It was a good thing he had been blinking just as

the explosion occurred, otherwise there was no telling how long it would

have taken to recover his eyesight.



Still, he knew Number 8  was right. That was an impressive explosion. Too



	$Extra space there.



impressive. The truck had gone up like a fuel tanker, which made no sense.

Why would they send a fuel tanker at...



"SHIT!" he cursed at the top of his lungs and looked out at the scene in

front of the building. Flames covered the ground, starting smaller fires

everywhere on the lawn, and the air was still superheated from the

explosion. Rene could barely make out anything. It was all a yellow blur on

heat imaging. Switching to regular vision proved no better, light

amplification was worthless, and they possessed no portable radar units. It

took only a moment to figure out what had happened, and what it meant for

his men.



Speaking into his com-link, Rene gave his commands. "All personnel,

intruders have breached the perimeter. Orders are to shoot on sight, and

shoot to kill."



xxxxxxxxxxxxxx



"Brilliant work, Kei."



"I have to admit, Iria, that the idea of paint thinner and kerosene was the

perfect choice of liquids to use."



	$Gasoline and Drano would have been better.



"And the cinderblock to keep the empty vehicle moving was simple in design,

though effective, Kei. Congratulations to you."



"A good thing you thought about the firefighting suits to use to walk

through the flames, Yuri. I hate to think what would have happened if we had

forgotten about that little detail."



	$They'd have had to cancel that hot wax leg hair removal appointment, of

course.



"Definitely an all-around good plan." Although Kei thought that infiltrating

the place by hiding in a giant wooden badger would have worked just as well.



	$Not really, as Rene and crew would have taunted them into submission.  Or

fetched the cow.



The others shouldn't have made fun of her idea like that. It was a good plan

too.



	$Never hear me say otherwise.



The trio ran through the masking wall of smoke and flames and made their way

next to a featureless section of the wall on the east side of the building,

peeling out of their bulky fireproof suits once they got there. The

opposition was probably just as well trained as the people they had fought

on the station and the library, which meant they would anticipate

conventional tactics. The next thing an opponent would have done in order to

enter the building would have been to approach through one of the doors or

windows and enter through one of those egresses, hoping they weren't well

covered or else blasting their way in. However, unconventional thought meant

ignoring the building's openings and making one of their own.



	$Hopefully not near a structural support.



Which was where the laser cutting torch came in. In under a minute, Kei cut

their way through wall and into the building proper. All three had their

weapons drawn, laser pistols all. Heavy, bulky weapons tended to be a

detriment in close quarters when dealing with quick and nimble opponents

that were nearly the complete opposite of Zeiram.



"Spread out," Yuri said. It would be the quickest way to sweep the building

clear of all the intruders and try to save any workers that might have been

kept as hostages.



Separating, any illusions of that were quickly dispelled when each of the

women came across the various bodies left laying about the complex, all of

them apparently having been shot right where they were found. Head shots

ensured there were no survivors among those that had been fired upon.



Suddenly the desire to take some of the men alive was quelled in the women.

Thinking along the same lines, each came up with the idea that one was all

they needed, and even then the survivor didn't need to have all his limbs in

order to talk about all he knew.



	$Try not to break his jaw, though, as they invariably end up speaking with

a lisp.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Shots blazed toward the corner Kei had started to walk around. Still, the

quick glance she managed to get showed three people, dressed in the same

black uniform as the man Kei had killed on the space station and armed with

light assault weapons, were approaching cautiously up the corridor in a

loose formation. Taking them all at once would be impossible with how spread

out they were. She had to lure them closer together.



	$Smile for the camera everyone!  You there, get just a little closer in...



And then she saw the small black ball roll up the corridor from the enemy's

position further up the hall. It paused at the intersection, then rolled

into her hallway. A small light at the top began to blink, getting

progressively faster with each flash of the green colored light.



"Shit," Kei hissed.



And then the world went white from an explosion.



xxxxxxxxxxxxx



Alexei Farkus, Number 12 for the current mission, waited until the smoke

settled before waving his comrades onward. "I love these remote control

grenades."



"I could have taken her solo. It was only one chick," Alfonse Hunter, Number

88 assured him.



	$88,



A woman known to the others as simply as Ginger, aka Number 23, remained

silent, attention completely focused on the corridor before them.



Pausing at the intersection, pressed close against the wall, Number 12 waved

Number 23 forward. She moved quickly into the corridor, prepared to shoot

anything that moved. Numbers 12 and 88 provided cover.



Nothing moved in the smoking remains of the upper section of the corridor.

The closest room's door was blown off its hinges, the force of the explosion

had been that powerful.



	$Yes, but was the door open at the time?



"Any sign of remains?" Number 12 whispered. It was possible the body had

been destroyed if the grenade had detonated right on top of their opponent.

He had seen it happen before. Maybe they could find some teeth.



	$His cover was a dental assistant.



Number 88 was about to enter the room with the door blown off when Number 12

whispered "Got something."



The others paused and watched as she picked up a standard blue halter type

top in good shape from the middle of the debris. Number 12 nodded his head.

"Looks like the top she was wearing when she poked herself around the

corner."



"Yeah. She had nice hooters," Number 88 confirmed.



"Pigs," Ginger snapped. It figured they would notice a woman's chest first,

even while they were shooting at her. All except Ginger's chest. They never

checked it or her out. They all just cringed, and all because she was the

unit's top interrogator.



	$Hah!  She gives the term 'nice rack' a whole new meaning.



 Was it her fault she was good at her work and

enjoyed it so much? A quiet country girl like her might have thought the

others were afraid of her or something.



	$But that was definitly giving too much credit for intelligence to a

country girl.  She really didn't notice.



"That takes care of that," Number 12 started to say, then looked more

closely at the top that Number 23 was tossing contemptuously away. "Hey,

wait a minute. If she was blown up so badly, why is the top still in one

piece?"



	$A bit slow on the uptake here, are we?  A little hard for me to swallow.



"Because I tossed it out there to distract you," Kei said as she sprung from

out of the nearby room and shot the nearest man, Number 88, before moving on

to Numbers 12 and 23, neither getting a chance to do more than bring their

guns up and reflexively fire into the floor as they died.



	$Heh heh, the sight of a bare-breasted Kei has caused many a man to shoot

too early and in the wrong place.



 Kei waited a full

minute to see if any backup appeared, then finally went into the hall and

recovered her top. As she put it back on, she angrily said, "It figures the

one guy that thinks I got a nice rack I had to kill. I just don't have any

luck."



The redhead continued her search looking for more compliments as well as

people to kill.



	$Frequently in that order.



xxxxxxxxxxxx



Yuri ran, trying to catch her breath as the whine of pulse lasers could be

heard behind her. It figured she would stumble on a trio of the mysterious

raiders and kill them, only to have another trio run into her and open fire.

It was pure luck that they had only tagged her laser pistol. Of course,

since she hadn't thought to pack another sidearm she was now forced to run

scared. She did have another backup weapon, of course, but with the state of

caution her attackers were in, it was unlikely she could manage even two of



them. And once she used it, she was out of options.



	$What, does it run out of juice?



There was a throbbing of pain from Yuri's injured leg. It had been holding

up well and was on its way to being fully healed, but the sudden amount of

hard running made it ache and she realized she was slowing down. She needed

a moment to catch her breath. She hit a corner, than ran down another longer

one. Gauging the speed of her pursuers, and that she was running even slower

than before, she knew they would reach the hall before she got to the

adjoining corridor. Acting in desperation, she ducked into a side room with

its door partially open.



A quick look over the chamber showed no one, either alive or dead, in the

room. It took only a moment to realize what its purpose was: a recreation

area. No weapons to be found there either, since it appeared the folks

didn't like playing 'Grenade Golf,' or Russian Roulette during their

downtime.



	$Boring, executive-type people.



But then Yuri's eyes spotted what was lying on one of the tables. An idea

began to form. A very risky idea, but the only chance she saw herself

having.





'In one of the side rooms,' Number 18 signaled. Taki Omori knew damn well

the intruder they were pursuing couldn't have made it to the next corridor

before they had arrived in the hall. Not with the way she was limping. She

might have been wounded, though he hadn't seen an injury or any telltale

blood on the ground. He was becoming fairly certain she didn't have any

additional weapons either, since she had not returned fire at them since the

start of the chase. Still, he would rather error on the side of caution when



	$err on the



it came to potentially being shot at.



The troopers were cautious and orderly, searching each room one at a time in

order, always keeping one eye on the hall should she be further down and try

making a break for it. Their caution paid off as, during a search of the

third room, Yuri ran out of hers and made for the adjoining corridor.



Number 18 saw her and shouted a warning to the others. Just as he lined her

up in his rifle's sights, she flung something white behind her and in his

direction.



	$Panties!



 Reflexively triggering a quick shot that missed, he ducked back

into the room with the others.



When nothing happened for several moments, two of the men looked back out in

the corridor. Number 18 was confused until he spotted the white thing lying

midway in the corridor. It was rectangular, and very thin. He had a bad idea

of what it was as he signaled his men to follow him. The others kept their

eyes focused ahead as Number 18 bent down and picked the object up: the

queen of spades from a standard deck of cards.



"Move!" The others did as they were instructed, trying to catch up to Yuri.

Taki was pissed as hell. No one made a fool of him and got away with it. No

one.



	$There's a real problem with saying and/or thinking that.  It tends to

happen.



They were surprised to catch up with her in the very next corridor, just as

she was about to duck into another adjoining one. Just as they rounded it,

she threw another white thing at them. Training took over as they all ducked

back again, only to poke their heads around the corner to see that it was

indeed another playing card she had thrown, the object not making it three

feet from where she had tossed it.



"You're dead, bitch!" Number 18 shouted. Running hard for the next corridor,

forcing his men to catch up. Again they rounded the corner, just in time to

see Yuri about to throw yet another card at them.



"Last time you make a fool of me!"



	$Heh, true.



Number 18 shouted as he aimed at her even

as she let the card fly and hit the ground. Taki's first shot hit where she

had been standing a moment before, melting part of the wall behind her. He

didn't get a second shot as the 'Bloody Card' sliced through his neck,

severing an artery. Before his first spray of blood hit the floor, he heard

two more cries of pain from behind. The gun fell to the ground as Number 18

went down to his knees and clutched at his neck, blood pouring from between

his fingers as though his hands weren't even there.



	$Gambit, eat yer heart out.



Yuri walked up to him and grabbed his rifle for herself. "You're right. That

was the last time I'll make a fool of you."



	$Right.  Did she pick up the card?



She tossed the remaining fifty cards at his body as it slumped to the floor,

his lifeblood joining him in a growing pool of crimson at his side.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



"Number 55? Number 18? Number 12?



	$Rene: Hey!  I just won the lotto!



Someone report in!" Rene shouted into his

communication's headset. Everything had gone to hell in under fifteen

minutes. How could this have happened? He had the best trained soldiers

money could buy. All of them dedicated and loyal. No one would have

abandoned their post, and no stupid handful of policemen could have

outmaneuvered them. Something else had to have happened, but what?



Now with Numbers 8 and 9 in tow, he headed to the main computer banks, the

primary objective of their mission. Killing everyone else in the complex had

been secondary. Less than five minutes before, Rene had received

confirmation that the team assigned to the room had almost completed

destroying the information, but now there was nothing. Not even static. The

whole situation cried out that something had happened down there, and Rene

wanted to personally make sure that their mission had been accomplished. His

superiors would kill him without a second thought if they suspected for one

moment he had failed. Cautiously, ever aware of the danger around them, he

and his companions made their way to the main computer banks.



Just as Rene was about to give up hope, a call came in from the computer

team. "Re...Number 22, we've been attacked. One woman killed 15 and 26 and I

think she took out Argus's team as well. But I can confirm with one hundred

percent certainty the purge was a success." His voice was quiet, full of a

fear Rene had never heard from him before. Okari had always been a good,

strong man. "I think she's a troubleshooter. I'm exchanging fire with her,

but I doARGH!"



	$Doargh?  Repeat, damn you, repeat!



And then there was nothing.



Rene reigned in his emotions. If it was a 3WA troubleshooter, that was bad.

However, if it was one, or someone with those same philosophies, he might

have a chance. A plan began to form in his mind, the strategy coming

together just like it would when playing chess. But he had to act fast. They

were on the same floor as the computer center, probably no more than a

couple halls away. They had to get there before the troubleshooter left. He

ducked into a room where he had personally killed two of the scientists

running the testing area. Sure enough, the bodies were just where he had

left them. The one nearest to him would do.



Rene waved Numbers 8 and 9 closer. "Here's what we're going to do. You two

go on ahead and try to get around the intruder using the front corridor to

the main computer lab. I'll take the back way. One way or another she'll be

flanked, then we'll catch her in a crossfire."



"How are we going to time it so we'll attack at the same time?" Number 8

asked.



Rene scowled at the question. "Wait thirty seconds. I'll be in position by

then. I guarantee it. We'll nail that bitch for sure." He placed his hands

on their shoulders, the first show of affection he had ever given either of

them. "I'm counting on you. Of all the people in the unit, you're the two

I've held in the highest regard. I mean that."



	$*snort*



The two looked at each other and practically beamed at the praise. Their

commander never praised anyone.



	$That in itself would have made me suspicious.



 Number 8 said, "No problem, Number 22."



"She's as good as dead." Number 9 agreed.



	$dead,"



"Then get moving," Rene said, watching the two depart. Once certain they had

gone, he initiated the second part of his plan.



	$Hide in the bodies and hope they go away?



xxxxxxxxxx



Iria surveyed the scene of destruction before her, one she had created. That

made another three man team she had taken out. Killing both sets had been no

easy task, the men showing an impressive amount of training. Not as much as

her, of course. She had learned how to fight using the old school standards,

by ending up in real life and death struggles. However, from the way the men

had fought, she felt confident they had received such training in similar

fashion.



The last team had behaved very oddly. Rather than trying to combat her, two

of them had sought to keep her out of the main computer room while their

compatriot had done something inside. Unfortunately, by the time she had

killed the two guards and entered the room, the inside man



	$Suggest swapping 'inside' and 'man', otherwise it sounds like he was an

'inside man' who worked for YS and had betrayed them or something.



had completed

whatever it was he was doing and tried to ambush her. He came close to

taking her head off with his initial shot, but all that mattered was that he

had failed and now his dead soul would join that of his comrades.



Iria was about to leave the room when she heard some sort of rustling come

from one of the entrances at the far side of the room. Silently, she crept

behind an upturned table for cover, then kept her pistol aimed near the

door.



Almost at the very moment she ducked behind her cover two people, dressed in

the same outfits as the others, shot out from the doorway and opened fire on

her. She snapped off a laser bolt that struck high over the first man, but

before she could shoot a second time two crimson bolts of energy lashed out

from where they had sprung from.



	$Poor Rene, they probably could have got her if he hadn't shot them.  Would

have been nicely ironic.



 Both shots took them in the back as they

fell limply to the ground. Neither body moved as unblinking eyes looked out

from both of her fallen foes.



That was a very nice job. Iria looked up, expecting to see Kei or Yuri

emerge from the passageway. Instead, a man in his early thirties, completely

bald and wearing a white lab coat drenched in blood, staggered into the

room, gun in hand. His face was a matching mask of blood, though through it

Iria noted that there was an odd glint to his eyes. Sighing, he slumped

against a wall, the arm that didn't have a gun hanging limply at his side as

though it were broken.



Slowly, almost inaudibly, he got out, "They...killed everyone else. I hid,

until I found a gun on a dead body and...are they dead?"



"As dead as a ten day old gravisteds," Iria said.



	$To the confusement of everyone.



 A look of relief seemed to

pass over the man's features, and he slumped to the ground, back still

braced against the wall. He seemed to be staring off into space. Iria rushed

over to the man's side in order to check him out. Given the amount of blood

that drenched his clothes, it was a miracle he could have walked at all, let

alone shot the two killers in the back.



Iria placed her gun on the ground and went to open his lab jacket.



	$Annt!  She broke rule #1!



It was

then she noticed that, in spite of the blood adorning the garment, there was

no corresponding wound inside.



The barrel of a gun was jammed under her chin. The uncomprehending eyes of

the 'scientist' now fully aware and shining at her. It was then she

remembered that the other two teams had three members in them as well.



Rene smiled at himself.



	$at her would sound better, possibly with a few adverbs like smugly or

nastily.



 The stupid fool, allowing her compassion to override

common sense and caution. However, it was ungracious of him to criticize

her; she had been outmatched from the beginning. It was a pity he had to

shoot two of his own people in the back to lower the woman's guard, but he

was a master of chess, and knew the necessity of sacrificing pawns in order

to win the game.



"Checkmate," Rene bragged as he tightened his grip on the trigger.



	$Of course, he broke rule #3.



Unwilling to be intimidated, Iria stared right into the man's eyes without

the slightest bit of fear. Maybe it was the end, but she was damned if she

would give him the satisfaction of being afraid of him. The bounty hunter

saw the twinkle in his eyes as she felt him tighten his grip on the gun.



And then his head exploded like a melon hit with a sledgehammer.



Blood splattered over Iria's armor as the gun fell away from her chin. She

stood up, looking in the direction that the shot had come from. Once again

she owed her life to Kei, or maybe it was Yuri this time. It was as she rose

to her full height that she saw exactly who her savior truly was.



	$Jesus Christ our lord, of course.



"YOU?!"



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Kei heard Iria's scream from the room up ahead, unable to determine if it

was from surprise, rage, or pain.



	$I might have been from the other person as she promptly started beating

the crap out of him/her.



 She ran as fast as she could, unmindful of

the potential danger as she charged into the room, ready to defend Iria to

the death. The scene before the redhead, however, left her a bit confused.



Inside, Kei bore witness to what was possibly the fiercest look of rage she

had ever seen on Iria. The bounty hunter was pointing her gun in the

direction of a man standing across from her, about four meters away. He was

tall, standing head and shoulders over the much smaller woman. His frame was

muscular and the style of his clothing made it readily apparent that he was

in excellent physical condition, despite obviously being at least forty. His

black hair held a touch of gray at the temples and was tied back in a

ponytail that traveled down just below his neck. It touched the back of the

very stylish white top and blue vest he was wearing. Kei noted that the pair

of matching white pants molded to his posterior perfectly. The outfit was

finished off with a pair of mid thigh black boots that were so immaculate



	$mid-thigh



that the room's light reflected off their mirrorlike finish. Slung across

his back was a heavy laser rifle that looked like it weighed at least fifty

pounds, though he was bearing it as though it was no heavier than a cloak.

His hands were raised, almost as though he were being held up by Iria.

Though he might have appeared helpless, there was no look of fear in his

eyes, just an amusement that was mirrored in his smile. Kei thought that his

appearance, combined with that whiplash grin, made him easily one of the

most handsome men she had ever laid eyes upon.



"What's going on here?" Kei tried maintaining an awareness of her

surroundings to prevent anyone from sneaking up on them, but it was

difficult with someone so handsome standing before her, even if it did seem

as though Iria was on the verge of blowing him away.



	$Aww, but that'd be a waste of perfectly good manflesh.



Iria kept her gun trained on the man, not allowing it to waver in the

slightest. Through gritted teeth, she was barely able to spit out, "Kei, I

want to introduce you to the biggest waste of flesh that has ever existed.

The one creature in the galaxy that ranks only behind Zeiram as the lowest

form of organism around, and he's a real close second. This pustule that

stands before you is named Eugene Lance Killgore."



	$Should I recognise that name?



Killgore appeared offended at the comparison, though the smile never left

his features. "Hey there, Sunshine, is that any way to properly introduce

your husband?"



	$Whatever works.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Got distracted with writing

low grade porn



	$Speaking of which, when do we get to see?



 and real life business around these holidays.



	$Yeah, finals are here for me and this'll be the last C&C anyone sees out

of me for another week and a half or so.



	Anyway, nice chapter, if a bit long for my tastes.  I like lots of short

quick chapters.  Mistakes were few, especially there in the middle, although

there are probably several I missed.  I look forward to low grade porn and

another chapter!







	Kichigai





	How appropriate.  You fight like a cow.













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