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----- Original Message -----
From: "Nidoking" <Matthew.P.Katinas@rose-hulman.edu>
To: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2000 9:23 AM
Subject: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma/Tenchi] Dimensions in Peril - Chapter 3
On the advice of a C&Cer, I'm going to give Ukyo's dialogue in Chapter
1
(which was written before I'd seen much of her in the show) another
look
over and revise that section a bit, but that's about the only change I
plan to make. The remaining chapters should be a bit more IC all
around,
especially now that the novelty of having so many new people drop into
the Ranma-verse is beginning to wear off.
TENCHI 1/2 -- Dimensions in Peril
Chapter 3: We're Rid of the Old Lecher! No Need For Happosai
Allow me to be anal for a moment...
I imagine there are plenty who will comment on the characterizations of
the Ranma 1/2 characters, so I will stick to the Tenchi characters'
behaviors. If I recall correctly, you said that this story takes
elements from both OAV and TV. I suggest picking one or the other. The
characters don't act the same and certain story elements aren't
compatible.
This doesn't mean you can't borrow characters from one continuity or the
other (Heck, I do), such as bringing Kiyone into the OAV or Mayuka into
the TV continuity. I say this becuase depending on whether or not you
are aiming this story more towards a Ranma audience or a Tenchi audience
or both, your Tenchi characters will need to change to coincide.
For instance, I missed chapter 2 but I *really want to know* about the
scene where Ranma hits Ryoko. TV Ryoko you *may* be able to convince me
of this happening under certain circumstances. OAV Ryoko...
And Tenchi just *watches* this??? Like I said I haven't read part 2, so
I don't know how the scene goes, but I can't see Tenchi sitting still
for some stranger hitting Ryoko or any of his family (I don't see *Aeka*
sitting still for it).
Which leads me to this line: "'Friend' isn't exactly the word I'd use,"
replied Tenchi, "but she's with us." When does your story take place
respective to the Tenchi continuity you're using? Tenchi says something
similiar to this in the very *beginning* of the TV series, but he
wouldn't at the end, and he sure as heck wouldn't say it after Mayuka
joins the crew in the OAV+MNE.
In short, if this is of the TV continuity with some OAV characters I can
be convinced of some of the characterizations. The OAV is another story
all together. I can go into more detail, but I won't.
I find elements of your story interesting or I wouldn't have bothered to
write to you. I just need to know at what frame of mind to approach it
=)
This is all just my opinion and feel free to say "Hey, relax... don't
get all into it." And I won't. Also would you please send me part 2. I
have the prologue, chap 1 and chap 3.
Damien
Tenchi Character Freak