The More, the Merrier

Or "How the Children learned to stop worrying and love each

other."

a Neon Genesis Evangelion spamfiction by Andrew Carey

**********

Warnings:



WAFFy Evangelion fic warning.  Suggestive content warning.  Silly

warning.  Yours truly warning.

Minor spoiler for very end of manga Volume 5, Issue 2.

**********

All characters and situations of Neon Genesis Evangelion are

property of their respective creators and publishers.  They are

merely borrowed for this non-profit fanfiction.

C&C welcome and desired.

Flames deleted.

Proposals considered.

**********

This is a continuation of Volume 5, Issue 2 of the manga.  It

probably isn't what Sadamoto Yoshiyuki intends.

**********



Spoiler space.































**********

   "Why don't you... come in for a while?"



   "Oh... okay."  Rei seized him by the hand and pulled him

inside.

*****



   Asuka glanced at her watch.  "Where is that baka?  He's

supposed to cook tonight."



   "Don't worry about it.  Dinner's not for hours yet," Misato

replied.



   "We can't let him get away with skipping his chores."



   "You like having him around, don't you?"



   "Of course not."



   Misato took another swallow of beer, and began to sing

"Asuka and Shinji, sitting in a tree..."



   "It's not like that!"  Asuka's face nearly matched her hair.

"Besides, I could say a thing or two about you and Kaji-san."



   "That's different!"



   "Sure."



   "I'm going to go find him.  I bet he's at Rei's!  The little

perverts!"  She stormed out of the apartment.  Misato's pet penguin

came out, apparently interested in the noise.  He picked up a

magazine from the floor and began to leaf through it.



   Misato sighed, and finished her beer in a single long gulp.

"Silly kids, aren't they, Pen-pen?"  Pen-pen, being a penguin, didn't

reply.

*****



   The stairs hadn't been cleaned in quite a while.  Asuka

ignored the nasty smell and the empty takeaway boxes and bags.

There were more important things to deal with.



   Even out in the hallway she could hear them.  "Oh, Rei!

It's... wonderful!"  There were small squelching and rustling noises.



   "Try this."



   "So goooooood!"



   Asuka wasn't about to let this go any further.  No pressing

the buzzer for her-- she hammered on the thin central panel with

both fists, dislodging several chips of fading paint.



   Rei answered the door, dressed in only her shirt.  There was

something white clinging to her lip; absently, she licked it off.

"Souryuu.  I had thought you would join us."



   "What's going on?"  The blue-haired girl took her by the

wrist and drew her inside.  She was too surprised to resist.  Within

a few moments, she was too happy to mind.

*****



   Misato tossed her latest can into the recycling bin.  She

stood up and stretched, belching.  "I'm hungry," she declared to no

one in particular.  Something seemed odd.  She glanced at the

clock.  Eight-thirty.  Nearly three hours past the time Asuka and

Shinji should have been home.



   A few minutes later she was out of the building. <Asuka

said something about going to Rei's.  I'll check there, then the

park.  If that doesn't work, I'll ring round to their schoolmates'

houses.> She wasn't going to think about any other possibilities,

not if she didn't have to.



   She knew Rei's building wasn't in the best neighbourhood

in town.  She'd stopped by once or twice to give her a ride, and

thought NERV could have found her a place that was less run

down.



   But this... this was awful, much worse than she'd thought it

from outside.  "It's child abuse.  Nothing more, and nothing less,"

she muttered as she made her way through the unlocked foyer, past

the broken elevator and up the dirty stairs.



   As she raised her hand to the buzzer, she heard them.  "Oh

my, Rei-chan!  Where did you learn to... mmmmmmm... do

_this_?" <Asuka's calling her "Rei-chan"?  What happened?  What

are they doing?> She could hear someone making inarticulate

sounds of pleasure.  She was morally certain it was Shinji. <Oh

_no_!>



   "Commander Ikari ordered me to learn womanly skills."



   Asuka whistled through her teeth.  "When?"  The vowel

was long and drawn out, delighted.



   "Last week."



   "Wow.  How'd you learn to be so _good_?"  Shinji asked,

breathlessly.



   "He gave me books.  I studied them."



   "Dear sweet kami," Misato murmured.  They were only

fourteen.  She'd thought even the Commander had _some_ tiny

reservoir of decency.  She strongly considered turning around,

marching down the stairs, finding the nearest bar, and getting well

and truly falling down drunk.



   No.  She had her duty, and whatever shreds of conscience

were left her would not be denied.  She was their guardian.  Her

hand trembled as she reached for the buzzer.  It didn't work, so she

knocked gently.   "Kids?  We really should talk about-- "



   Rei opened the door.  She was under-dressed, and looking

rumpled.  Misato wasn't sure what the fluids staining her shirt

were, but she had a feeling she didn't want to know.  "Major

Katsuragi?"



   "You don't have to call me that, Rei.  I'm not angry with

you, or Asuka and Shinji, either.  I just want to give you a little

advice, you know?  This is a big step in your life.  Are you sure

you're not going too fast?"



   "The Commander ordered me."



   "You don't always have to listen to him.  Well, okay,

_almost_ always.  But not about _this_.  I mean, it's the most

personal thing in the world, and you've all got a lot of growing left

to do, right?"



   "The Commander told me you might stop by.  He said I

should ask you to join us."



   "What!  What kind of woman does he think I am?  I mean,

yeah, I've done some wild things but-- "



   She opened the door the rest of the way.  Misato's jaw

dropped.  "Rei?  This was all your idea?"



   "Ikari and Souryuu helped."



   "I shouldn't.  I really shouldn't."  If she kept saying it, she'd

believe it, eventually.



   "Misato-san!  Come in!"  She'd never seen Shinji so joyful,

not in all the time they'd lived together.  She couldn't blame him.

The scene before her might have been calculated to entice her

beyond all hope.



   Asuka positively glowed with happiness.  "Rei-chan thought

of everything!  She's really, really good!  Won't you come in and

have a try?"



   "I can't resist."  Rei shut the door behind them as she

stepped inside.  She couldn't help herself, she really couldn't help

herself.  As hard as it was for many people to believe, there were

things that stirred Katsuragi Misato's desires even more deeply than

beer.



   And Grand Marnier souffle, crepes Suzette, and chocolate

truffles were three of them.

*****



Two weeks later:



   The Children were arm in arm in arm.  That was fairly

common these days.  Rei still seemed a bit confused by the whole

thing, but she was thriving under the attention.  She smiled now,

and her speech was increasingly animated.



   "I found a new recipe.  Turkey in a chocolate-pepper sauce.

From Mexico.  They call it 'mole.'"

   "Sounds wonderful."



   "Chocolate-pepper?  If it were anyone else's cooking..."



   "But it isn't, Shinji!  It's our Rei-chan's."  Asuka kissed her

on the cheek.



   "You're right."  He touched his own lips to her other cheek.

"Sorry, Rei-chan."



   Misato smiled, and turned to Ritsuko.  "Don't they just

make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?"



   "I guess."



   "Well, if you'd eaten Rei's flourless chocolate cake, they

would."



   "That good, huh?"



   "Better than sex."



   "That's a cliche, Misato."



   "But it's true!"

**********

Author's Notes:

Well, looks like I've managed to finish something again.  Seems

to have been a while.  Am still working on past fics, just verrrry

sloooooowly:-)

For the record, the white liquid on Rei's lips was vichyssoise:-)

And there's no firm evidence (in translations released so far) for

manga-Rei as a vegetarian.  Besides, mole is one of the primary

things that keeps me from vegetarianism:-)





Andrew Carey -- ap_carey3@hotmail.com

"Mirie it is, while sumer ilast,

With fugheles song..."



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