I keep seeing new "Re: Happy Anniversary!" messages even though
the thread has been banned what, three or four times? Come on people,
give us a break. Stop beating the issue to death before the admins are
forced to ruthlessly purge the list.
In an effort to actually contribute something useful and not just
clutter the list, I have a suggestion for the list and admins:
1) Maybe a seperate ffml-spam@fanfic.com which could be a list of its
own? If people are going to insist on chattering back and forth, at least
keep it away from the fics.
2) Require all off-topic, useless spam to come bundled with a
spamfic or minific like this one. It works for Microsoft and it could work
for us too.
Now, so I am not a total waste of bandwidth (unlike a true Spam post).....
** * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * **
Sort of a Ranmazoku side story short-fic
Gosunkugi, Apprentice Sorceror
** * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * **
It was in the still morning before dawn, and I smiled. The posters and
pictures of Akane lining my walls flickered with an eerie light - not an
unusual occurence, but for once this was not caused by my magic candles,
but by the sorecerous arts!
I dispelled the lighting spell as I flicked the light switch. No matter how
cool
it might be to summon the arcane forces, it was really tiring to call upon
the
mysterious powers of the demon Saotome. Metallium. Whatever his name was.
It didn't matter. He had finally given me the tool I needed to cast him down
and
take the beauteous Akane from him!
"Son! You're cackling evilly again!" my mother's voice drifted in from the
kitchen.
Mortified, I grab my books quickly and ran out the door. I wouldn't be eating
breakfast, but sleeping late was a small price to pay for learning the Dark
Arts.
The hefty book Ranma Sa - Metallium had given me yesterday sat on my desk,
open to the section on summoning demons. While it was all right to learn from
Ranma, I didn't exactly want to have to rely on him. Unfortunately, I just
got Ranma
when I tried the spell. Luckily I was able to kick one of Akane's bras I
bought off
Nabiki into the circle and convince him I was trying to see if I could summon
Happousai before he got suspicious. I should have remembered that from the
first time I tried to summon a demon - you only get the nearest one unless you
have a name.
I suppose I got lucky, though. Now that I sent the demon possessing Ranma back
to whatever hell it came from, the demon is in control and willing to teach
me magic.
And once I learn enough magic, then I can dispel the demon and kill Saotome
and
Akane will be mine! (1)
I was rudely jarred out of my thoughts by the same gang of people who stole
my money every day. Well, today, they had a suprise. I was no longer the
weak boy they could push around! I had learned my battle tactics from the
great demon Ranma Metallium himself!
"Come on, punk, give us all your.. whaaa?" the octopus-masked punk said,
stopping as he saw my "aura". In reality, it was just a lighting spell, but
hey.. this is Nerima. I cackled madly.
"FOOLS! Know this, I am Gosunkugi, student of the dark arts!" I increased the
brightness of my spell and began to gesture dramatically. "I shall inflict
upon
you the greatest tactic of the arcane arts, the most secret technique of my
school..."
"He's going to blow us to ashes!" one now frightened gang member said.
'No, he's going to electrocute us!" another said.
"He'll make Kodachi fall in love with us!" cried the last. Everyone shuddered.
That was a pretty good idea, actually.
"And now, I shall..." I paused dramatically, grinning a ghastly grin, the
better to
go with my spooky eyes, "RUN AWAAAAY!"
It was a few seconds before I heard the leader yell "Hey... get him!" By that
time,
I was already in the clear.
** * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * **
School was interminably boring. I suppose it is to most students, but it's
usually
the most interesting part of my day. Not any more, what with my magical
studies
and all. I saw Sao.. er, Metallium was currently female after the brief
rainshower. As
it was lunch, I figured a test was in order. It wouldn't do for the magic to
be cut
off simply because Ranma was a girl. Now, who to hit with the spell... it
couldn't
be the demon Ranma herself, that would just be stupid to try, so it would
have to
be someone else. Preferably someone that was another rival for the fair Akane.
Someone like Kuno, who was now trying to glmop onto Ranma and denouncing
my master. I should be able to cast that simple curse spell Ranma taught me.
Probably.
"By the cold waters of Jusenkyo, I invoke thee, Chaos Demon Metallium,
Afflict those who stand in the path of your glory!"
It was entertaining to watch Kuno come down with an acute case of laryngitis.
Ranma apparently knew when some one called upon her power, because she
flashed me a quick thumbs up after Kuno let go of her in horror. He was
clutching
his throat and making unintelligible sounds before rushing off. At least that
annoying, pompous fool had shut up. I was really hoping for something more
dramatic and debilitating, but I guess Metallium just wanted him to be quiet
and stop annoying her.
It then hit me like a ton of bricks. (technically, Ryouga hit me like a ton
of bricks,
because I was in between him and Ranma. But that's just being literal.) I was
now
dangerous. For the first time, I could do something even to the strong people
who opposed me, like Kuno. I gave Ranma a quick glance as she taunted Ryouga
into a towering rage. With the demon Metallium as my ally, I would finally
control
my own destiny.
** * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * **
(1) Yes, Gos believes Ranma is possessed. That's part of the reason he's
so willing to apprentice himslef to Ranma.
This was a mini-sidestory to Ranmazoku and occurs during chapter 2, for
those of you wondering. Not many are, I wager.