Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][TM]Sketches of Tenchi 8: Old Rivals and New Discoveries
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 11/28/2000, 11:38 AM
To: "Miller, Bert" <bert.miller@unisys.com>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>

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And yet another in the backlog I am getting too. Even my C+C is starting to

become erratic. *Sigh*:





Sketches of Tenchi 8:  Old Rivals and New Discoveries



Just more bad news for Tenchi all around, eh? :)





- - - - - - - - - -

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M PREGNANT?" Kiyone screamed.



Tenchi twitched on the floor.  Aeka and Ryouko seemed uncertain

whether to comfort him or glare at Kiyone.



Mihoshi clapped her hands.  "Oh, my, you don't know what that

means?  It means you're going to have a baby, Kiyone!"



Heh. Kiyone had that one coming.







Washuu answered Tenchi as she waved a small wand over Kiyone's

body and started typing into her holographic laptop.  "Well,

Tenchi-dono, the odds were actually quite good, given that it's

Kiyone.



Oh?



 I guess you weren't paying attention to that part of my

lecture.  Unlike Earth or Juraian females, females from Kiyone's

planet are permanently fertile.  This is why her planet's culture

is so career-oriented; it's an attempt to keep the birth rate

down.  Kiyone has a roughly eighty percent chance of pregancy from

any act of unprotected sex, at any time."



Hehehehe. My, what an interesting fact of their race. Wonder if they also

have a reduced sex drive because of it. Overpopulation seems a likely

problem.





Washuu remarked, "No trace of any birth control measures in your

system.  Do you have a sample of these pills handy?"



Silently Kiyone produced a small bottle and handed it over to

Washuu.



"Oopsie..." Mihoshi murmured, her gaze fixed on the bottle.



Replaced the brith control pills with Tic-Tacs, did she?





After analyzing the contents, Washuu smirked.  "I'll give you one

guess, Kiyone.  The pills in your bottle are not what they're

supposed to be.  Also, the chemical formula for the residue on the

sides of the bottle happens to be a nearly irresistable sweet to

people from one particular planet."



Meaning Mihoshi ate the bottle? ^_^ I recommends switching 'residue' and

side of the bottle,  around to avoid confusion.





Washuu was still typing.  "You understand, preventing conception

in your people isn't easy, Kiyone.  So far, every possible

chemical combination which might work is equally irresistable to

the bubblehead.



Could always hide them.



  Looks like you're going to have a lot of

children."



"Do the pills at least prevent HER from reproducing?" asked Kiyone

between clenched jaws.



"Nope.  Actually, in Mihoshi they'll act as a mild stimulant to

her fertility."



Heh.



- - - - - - - - - -

Outside in the yard, a hovering Washuu-bot returned various

colored gems on the ground to their normal appearance.  Many

young ladies, disgruntled, immediately beamed out to parts

unknown.



And more contenders are dispatched.





"WAIT!  I don't want to get that gook on my clothes!"



"Then take them off," said Shiria calmly, arms crossed.



"Let's ALL take them off," said Teruzi.  "And then Youshou's,

as soon as the slime has dissolved."



The suggestion met with universal approval.



Heh.





Youshou started to grow nervous.



Faking it, is he?





- - - - - - - - - -

Back in the living room, a green bubble of light appeared.  It

burst, leaving two short, slim figures.  The older of the two had

wild, light orange hair; the younger hovered upside down in

mid-air, then started slowly revolving, head over heels.



"Yume!  What are you doing here?" asked Ryouko.



Heh. I remember her from the manga.





Tenchi stood and glared at Yume.  "You can't just beam in here

and give me another fiancee like this!"



"Why not?" replied Yume coolly.  "Everyone else is."



Good point.





Ryou-oh-ki scampered in and leaped to Sasami's shoulder.  The

new girl blinked.  "OooooOOOOOH!  Furry spaceship!"  She then

produced a two-handed, computerized aircraft steering device from

somewhere.  Ryou-oh-ki squealed in dismay when she found herself

levitating off Sasami's shoulder, then zooming about the room in

circles, accompanied by sound effects generated by the new

red-haired waif as she steered.  "Vrrrrr-OOOOOOMM!

Bah-bah-bah-bah vrrrooOOOOOOOOM!"



Hehehehehe. Very nice.







- - - - - - - - - -

Outside, the young-looking Youshou vainly tried to escape the

attentions of the remaining young ladies.  Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi

jumped into the lake and helped remove green goop-covered

clothing.



From the shore, Asuka and Rei looked on.  "Prince Youshou looks

like a REAL man," Asuka sighed.  "Not one of these boring boys.

What do you think, Wonder Girl?"



"If I am ordered to marry him, I will do it."  After a pause, Rei

gave a tentative smile.  "I hope I am."



Heh



mine are rival agencies."  Ramia rubbed her hands together in

glee.  "And you are already in violation of Regulation

IV-42-GSXY-39 subparagraph A.  Accordingly, I am now permitted to

assign my brother and sister to intrude on the affairs of you and

your sisters' Office.  Rumia, Alielle:  follow them!"



Rumia, with an eye on Misao, nodded approval.  Alielle, glancing

back and forth between Aeka, Ryouko, and Mihoshi, squealed in joy.



Ah. more bad news, I see.





Mihoshi started, smiled, and clapped in delight.  "Sasami!  How

did you get so big?  And why are you standing behind Kotimi...

Motiki... whatever her name is?"



Hmm. I don't really recall Mihoshi ever having touble with people's names.

Dealing with them in an appropriate manner, perhaps, but that line seems off

to me. Ryouko might misspeak the name to act like she's not all that

concerned about Tokimi (To hide the fact that she is concerned)









...which suddenly animated itself, turned to the group, smiled

sheepishly, and shrugged.  "Okay, okay, so now you know.  Sue me."



Tokimi turned back to Tenchi and gave her verdict.  "Thank you

for attending me, my husband-to-be.  You are developing nicely."



You are an evil man. Bert.





- - - - - - - - - -



Sasami chased after Yume's daughter Ed,



About time you gave her a name. Another Bebop fan, I see.





"Well, Tenchi," said Kiyone, approaching him and taking one arm,

"JNN says you're officially down to nine fiancees now:  the six

of us, plus Tokimi, Yuzuha, and the pipsqueak.  Everybody else

either fled or attached themselves to Youshou."



Hmm. How sudden to dispatch the others. Thought there would be a bit more

dwindling.





"About time Grandpa had to deal with some of this," Tenchi

replied.



"I agree," added Aeka.  "Brother Youshou should carry his share

of the burden."



Heh



Nice work. Not as much humor in this one as previous chapters, but it

doesn't suffer for lack of it. Flowed very well and didn't see many grammar

errors. Hope to see more.



D.B. Sommer









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