On Thu, 23 Nov 2000 00:42:52 -0400, Thomas Hood wrote:
This is how I might recast the sentence.
'Now it was beer and rancid stew in earthenware plates and, a
blob of mud fell from the
roof and splattered a scroll he'd stolen from Alexandria, the
roof _leaked_!'
Whereas _I_ might recast the sentence in this manner:
'Now it was beer and rancid stew in earthenware plates and--a blob
of mud fell from the roof and splattered a scroll he'd stolen from
Alexandria--the roof _leaked_!'
The dashes can also mean an interruption in thought. This is an
action that goes on within his internal monologue to support his
complaints.
Yes, I like that. For word wrapping purposes, as well as
increased readability (IMhO) there should be spaces before and
after the '--'. But to each his own.
The commas serve the same purpose, though maybe less
emphatically. Actual parentheses would work as well. The point
is to set the phrase off from the rest of the sentence, to make
slap the reader in the face. To make him/her blink and perhaps
smile at the image created in the mind.
I just don't feel the ellipses did the job effectively.
Just my opinion.
Richard Person
Seattle
<Where the Sunshine, dry or wet, never ends>