HI,
Thanks for writing.
Glad you liked Chp. 1.
--- "James M. Zema" <zema@uakron.edu> wrote:
I like this story thus far, though the second seal
seemed a bit...
rushed I guess, in the face of the description of
the destruction
of the first seal. Or maybe just vague, I couldn't
quite picture
the statue for instance. At one point it sounded to
me like she
made the lantern, then a statue of that god.
@@It's both actually. A statue of the god that is a
lamp. But a lamp without a place for a wick or oil.
{it's a Zen thing. ^_*}
There wasn't a much description for the second seal
because it wasn't (I thought) needed. The first
section was a set-up for the rest of the story. The
second "seal" was a transition piece.
Oh well. Working w/o pre-readers means I miss things
like this.
There
were also a
few mistakes (grammatical) I caught the first time
around but not
too bad, and I unfortunately don't have the
inclination to go back
through the story to find them. Perhaps at a later
date.
@@^_^ Only a few? I'm getting better.
At any
rate, I'll look forward to reading the rest of this
when it
comes out.
@@It's better than 90% complete. Just have to finish
the last little bit and I'm typing it now.
Just a quick nitpick on one of the nitpicks on the
story as well.
Satisfied that her flanks were secured,
Adalwolfa
raised her fist high and pumped it twice to
signal her war-hand
before beginning her advance. Today she was
going to finish
the job her warrior-monk great-grandfather
Who obviously didn't really care about his vows.
Which leads us to ask why he became a monk.
The travels? The uniform? The Glamour?
Free bed and board at monasterys all over Europe?
Being a monk does not automatically mean you're
celibate, it just
means you live in a monastery and are part of a
religious order--
which in turn might or might not have rules about
being celibate.
@@Very true. The idea of "celibate" monks is very
recent. (in historical terms) And the original
prohibition was against _marriage_ not sex. Looking at
church records you can find many cases where
monks/priests etc. were disciplined for getting
_married_ while sexual activity was condoned. marriage
meant the monk/priest would leave their property to
their family not the church. it was a monetary policy.
--
Sincerely,
James M. Zema
President, Akron Animation Association
Personal Webpage: http://uakron.edu/~zema/
Tri-A Webpage: http://www.uakron.edu/tria/
Tri-A Mailing List: tri-a@egroups.com
Tri-A Officers: tria-officers@egroups.com
=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus
"A man is a small thing, and the night is large
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany
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