"C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net> wrote:

Kodomo no Omocha - "The Bad Guys"

While it's not mentioned anywhere here, this was originally

intended to be a semi-parody story where Akito and Tsuyoshi

saved Sana from a crazed stalker.

I just had this horrible vision of Sana starring in a Perfect Blue
ripoff....  Anyway, perhaps you should consider developing this story
further?  I think it's got the most potential out of all the ideas you've
postede.  There's not enough Kodocha fanfic out there, and you've done a
good job of capturing the show's style.

Nuku Nuku - "A housecat's delimma"

This just got too boring for me. Nuku Nuku is a very action

oriented story, and this was going to end up being a romance.

That's okay, but Atsuko-chan is just too exciting for that.

It probably would have ended up having too much in common with Richard
Lawson's Nuku Nuku series.



WRT "House of the Crystal Sun": I think the training aspect is too rigid of
a premise to hang a story from.  The fact that Setsuna knows everything
about everybody makes her too powerful -- it's too easy for her to end up
becoming the group's referee.  Most of the really effective megacrossovers
examine what would happen if these characters were to meet each other by
chance, or get thrown into the middle of a crisis situation.  And
personally, I dislike crossovers that rely on interdimensional travel to
pull the premise off.  It seems like too much of a copout.



That being said, I was amused by the scene with Usagi telling her family the
truth, and I really liked the confrontation between Princess Serenity and
the Outers in the last segment (although it resembles several other darkfics
featuring the Outers.)



--

Julian Fong  |  fong_jh@hotmail.com  |  http://jhfong.dragonfire.net/

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"I will chide no breather in the world but myself, against whom I know

most faults." - William Shakespeare, _As You Like It_, Act 3, Scene 2







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